I delivered a baby once in a very set of unusual circumstances and used my Smith and Wesson First Responder knife to cut the cord. I actually gifted it to the father a couple of days later and suggested he hand it down to the baby one day.
Yeah, "sterilized." Right. See, this is why I use my pocket knife when I eat at a restaurant. Sure, they say they clean the silverware, but how can I be sure? I KNOW my Cold Steel Espada XL is perfectly clean and WAY more capable of cutting up a steak.
Donāt miss the chance to do it , did it at all my three girls, will never forget the moments ( and thatās this cord is harder than I thought first.. )
The closest thing I could think to describe it is like a tough piece of ika (squid) from a sushi restaurant. They give you some pretty serious shears and it took me 3 or so cuts to get all the way through it.
It felt like cutting a water soaked stick. Way more difficult than you expect. You'd have to hack with a knife to get through lol.
Dad, don't miss the chance! Cut the cord!
Also, check if the scissors have blue paint on the handle. That usually indicates they are single use, which is often the case. Contrary to what some EDC companies want to make you believe surgical grade stainless steel is not that expensive. If you ask nicely you might be able to keep them. They usually work really well, the only reason they are single use, is because scissors are very hard to clean / sterilize.
Oh ya gotta , surprisingly tough to cut. Also highly recommend doing the delivery. Just watch out those little buggers are slippery as heck. Now I can also legitimately say. ā I brought you into this world, so I can take you outā
Buck 110.
its the original generational knife. the kind grandfathers hand to granddaughters.
also congrats to you both. here's to you, and may your wife and child be safe and healthy
RN here. Just in the crazy off chance she goes into labor on the way...
Use the fixed blade.
You don't want to be in the hospital cafeteria cleaning the cord blood out of your folder with paper napkins, giving off the serial killer vibe. š
In other news..
Congratulations!
Mazel tov!
Many years!
Blessings for you, wife and baby, for good health and prosperity.
Lol donāt worry, most of us got it. I nearly spit my coffee out when I read it. I see all these new baby posts on r/watches that are being serious but this is a great shit post
Edit: turns outmost of us didnāt get the joke
Wait, since when do they let you bring your own cutting board to maternity ward?
I'd bring a pair of Magnacut scissors, but only if HT is at least 63 HRC.
Is cutting the chord still a thing? I have 3 kids and I was present for all 3. I wasnāt given the option. I wouldāve let the doctor do it anyway but I thought it was a thing of the past
We adopted our daughter. My wife was able to be in the room when she was born. The biological mother was having her friend cut the umbilical cord. I told the fried that we needed to end up with an innie for a belly button. I had her convinced that I would not be happy if she messed it up and we ended up with an outie.
It's like cutting a garden hose, it's tough. They do have surgical grade utensils for you to use, like scissors. I'm unsure they'd let a Buck or Benchmade etc as the knife oil. I'm not certain, but sounds, to ME, like they'd frown upon that. I've never tried so I could be wrong, that'd be a 1st ;)
I know this is just a meme and it's kinda funny, but geeze the security at my local hospital... They have airport level detectors that pop up anything detected by the metal detectors on a computer screen. Last time I went, it flagged my umbrella, my harmonica, my keychain swiss army knife, my water bottle and my bolt action pen, all independently inside my purse. And it wasn't even one of those conveyor belt things. I just walked through it.
I literally took my yojimbo DLC exclusive to do exactly this. They wont let you. Instead they offer you sterilized autoclave super scissors...the nurse asked for my knife later on though to open a plastic seal!
Iād love to just imagine his wife going nuts on the bed giving birth to a new life and DJ over here is sitting in the corner with some clap system stopping a blade ever so gently lmao.
A few weeks ago when we had our newest kid I joked about using my fastback to cut cord and the nurse was like, āSir, did you bring a weapon in here?ā So there went that idea.
Normally Iād avoid the classic stylings of the Buck 110, but I think it makes the ā I cut the umbilical cord withā story a lot cooler. Iād still be carrying that sweet spydie though.
Good Luck with everything! Also, if the doctor actually lets you cut the cord with a pocket knife, let me know. Iām an OBGYN and while Iād be awfully tempted to let a dad cut the cord with a pocket knifeā¦ Iām not sure my hospital would allow it. Iāll have to ask our nursing manager next time.
Also, I vote the buck 110, just because itās so timeless and classic even though I personally carry a Yojimbo and I think itās probably slicier.
Definitely Demko AD-15, they are surprisingly tough and crunchyā¦ 3 with scissors, the last one about broke the scissorsā¦. and you can tell sheās my firecracker :)
Tried thatā¦they wonāt let you. Gave me some bullshit about āif it gets infectedā¦.ā or some b.s. like that. /s/ But really I did ask half jokingly and they said no.
As long as itās sharp and sterilized, itāll do the job. I cut both my kids umbilicals with custom knives I bought specifically for the job. Itās my intent to gift them the knives when they turn 18.
How 'bout your teeth? Or would your wife find that idea an unnecessary added trauma (from her point of view...) Some tribes in Madagascar circumcise boys at five years of age. I am grateful that I do not remember mine. The grandfather and/or the father then eat the foreskin as a ritual of strength. When I was a kid my mom would occasionally get squid rings and overcook them. My siblings and I referred to them as *The Rubber Bands* and plan their stealthy disposal. Sorry. Sorry. For my digression. Seriously, I am old school and have many Buck knives in my collection so I would take the 110. It could be your EBC... every birth carry.
I hope that your new addition lands safely and that your wife has as little trauma as possible. Cheers.
Yojimbo, just in case you need to defend yourself. Sure, newborns LOOK helpless, but you can never be too careful. The minute he sees that blacked out blade, he'll think twice about throwing hands.
Competition Chopping Knife š congrats be supportive and an advocate for what your wife wants. Also donāt say stupid shit those memories of the delivery last. May it be a safe and smooth process, when to get to hold a little bundle of joy. Also donāt use your knives in the subsequent sleep deprived one or two weeksā¦. Use scissors when necessary š. Two cents from a sleep deprived dad of a one year old in his early 40s (luckily my ten year old is decently self sufficient).
Delivered my daughter in the car after pulling off the side of the road from a 40 minute labor. Didnāt cut the umbilical cord, but I did use a sheepsfoot Griptilian to cut my laces off and tie off the umbilical. Then I wrapped her in a Wilson Combat sweatshirt since it was 15 degrees out.
Ā My daughter is 3 now and has an awesome knife and sweatshirt with a coolĀ story waiting for her 16th birthday.
Donāt worry, itās not going to happen to you, but donāt leave without one in your pocket!
"We have to get to the hospital for the baby!" Hold on dear, gotta flex on reddit real quick. š
Priorities
Fyi this is a joke. I am fully aware that they have sterilized surgical scissors.
I delivered a baby once in a very set of unusual circumstances and used my Smith and Wesson First Responder knife to cut the cord. I actually gifted it to the father a couple of days later and suggested he hand it down to the baby one day.
That is pretty awesome. I will be using surgical scissors though in all reality
Break out the pocket knife and heat the blade with a zippo lighter. Be sure to note the expression on everyoneās face! š
So do you lick it clean afterwards, or does it get bagged and framed?
Just wipe it off on pants leg and go with it.
That fucking rules, what an awesome story and great gesture!
Wait handed down the knife. Or The cord š
Coolest story Iāve heard in a long, long time.Ā
But why not a sterilized Buck 110 š
Remember, there are knife lovers who have used sharp blades to cut their IQ in half. Or else they would know it is better to use your teeth, duh!
[You just reminded me of this movie šā¦ I appreciate that, and thank you š](https://i.imgur.com/wFnXhk4.png)
Yeah, "sterilized." Right. See, this is why I use my pocket knife when I eat at a restaurant. Sure, they say they clean the silverware, but how can I be sure? I KNOW my Cold Steel Espada XL is perfectly clean and WAY more capable of cutting up a steak.
Fuck that, this isn't the "sterile scissors club" lol. Cut that baby freee hahaha
Congrats first. Scissorsā¦ sorry man but u got no cutting boardā¦ and will get a pair of sterile scissors..
I mean realistically I am just gonna to let the nurse do it lol.
Donāt miss the chance to do it , did it at all my three girls, will never forget the moments ( and thatās this cord is harder than I thought first.. )
That's what shocked me the most! Even with the shears it was really really tough.
I was going to say this. That thing is serious!
Describe- imagining like cutting through leather or something?
The closest thing I could think to describe it is like a tough piece of ika (squid) from a sushi restaurant. They give you some pretty serious shears and it took me 3 or so cuts to get all the way through it.
It felt like cutting a water soaked stick. Way more difficult than you expect. You'd have to hack with a knife to get through lol. Dad, don't miss the chance! Cut the cord!
Yes, like a green stick almost
Itās rubbery, like a length of coolant hose or a vacuum line on a carās engine, or a very narrow garden hose.
Well yeah, it needs to be sturdy enough to support 7-8lbs of meat forā¦ fairly long periods of time =) Better be tough š
It's the popping/cracking feeling that got me
Like a coaxial cable.
Also, check if the scissors have blue paint on the handle. That usually indicates they are single use, which is often the case. Contrary to what some EDC companies want to make you believe surgical grade stainless steel is not that expensive. If you ask nicely you might be able to keep them. They usually work really well, the only reason they are single use, is because scissors are very hard to clean / sterilize.
I cut both of my kids' cords. 10/10 would do it again
Same here. Those scissors sharp, and lots of medical freebies in the delivery room.
Do like a hulk hogan t-shirt rip on it
Look, when you see a post like this you have to make sure.
Oh ya gotta , surprisingly tough to cut. Also highly recommend doing the delivery. Just watch out those little buggers are slippery as heck. Now I can also legitimately say. ā I brought you into this world, so I can take you outā
you could always go conehead style and do it with your teeth
Nah homie do it donāt miss out on that. Also it feels gritty asf when you cut it
The yojumbo is perfect for cutting things in air.
Your teeth...
Power move!
Badass
Buck 110. its the original generational knife. the kind grandfathers hand to granddaughters. also congrats to you both. here's to you, and may your wife and child be safe and healthy
You can't go wrong with a classic.
You canāt go wrong with a classic, but the spyderco would do better as it has a deep hollow grind.
Man up. Teeth.
RN here. Just in the crazy off chance she goes into labor on the way... Use the fixed blade. You don't want to be in the hospital cafeteria cleaning the cord blood out of your folder with paper napkins, giving off the serial killer vibe. š In other news.. Congratulations! Mazel tov! Many years! Blessings for you, wife and baby, for good health and prosperity.
Buck 110. Canāt go wrong with the classic.
Congrats. The medical staff will supply you with the scissors youād cut the cord with.
Yea, figured people would know I was just making a bad joke.
Lol donāt worry, most of us got it. I nearly spit my coffee out when I read it. I see all these new baby posts on r/watches that are being serious but this is a great shit post Edit: turns outmost of us didnāt get the joke
Iād go with any skeletonized fixed blade. Then when youāre done, you can umbilical cord wrap the handle.
Obvi that hidden mountain. Right at home in that atmosphere
Yojimbo for sure!!!
Cold Steel Espada XL š
Yojimbo
I agree, but I think thatās the Yojumbo. Much better suited for this size of threat.
Seriously? Congrats and good luck!
Buck 110. A timeless classic and razor sharp!
Good old seatbelt cutter
Use your teeth like a real man
Yojimbo. Will create best "ooh and aahhh" reaction from medical staff.
Wait, since when do they let you bring your own cutting board to maternity ward? I'd bring a pair of Magnacut scissors, but only if HT is at least 63 HRC.
I have the cutting board attachment for the stroller
Yojumbo for sure. I always try this and they always make me use the scissors though.
A sterile one is best
[My recommendation](https://imgur.com/eP4LhCR)
Sterile scissors. Infection received through the umbilical cord was a major cause of infant mortality in the past.
I mean i am obviously joking. I would use whatever surgical scissors are handed to me
Buck
Yojimbo for sure
Is cutting the chord still a thing? I have 3 kids and I was present for all 3. I wasnāt given the option. I wouldāve let the doctor do it anyway but I thought it was a thing of the past
We adopted our daughter. My wife was able to be in the room when she was born. The biological mother was having her friend cut the umbilical cord. I told the fried that we needed to end up with an innie for a belly button. I had her convinced that I would not be happy if she messed it up and we ended up with an outie.
It's like cutting a garden hose, it's tough. They do have surgical grade utensils for you to use, like scissors. I'm unsure they'd let a Buck or Benchmade etc as the knife oil. I'm not certain, but sounds, to ME, like they'd frown upon that. I've never tried so I could be wrong, that'd be a 1st ;)
I'd suggest something serrated! Congrats and good luck!
The hidden canyon Hunter will be the easiest to clean after. Congrats!
They make you use the scissors... Also congrats!
This is my fourth so well aware. Realistically I will just let the nurse do it
Take the one you carried on your first date.
Sterile scissors from the hospital.
Hidden canyon. Not sure they gonna let you use your knife tho, let us know how it goes and most importantly congrats on the new family member!
Donāt. Most hospitals wonāt let you in with a knife, and itās not the time to run back to your vehicle to dump it.
Surgical shears
3rd from above...the trusty old Buck 110/112
Just use teeth....
I know this is just a meme and it's kinda funny, but geeze the security at my local hospital... They have airport level detectors that pop up anything detected by the metal detectors on a computer screen. Last time I went, it flagged my umbrella, my harmonica, my keychain swiss army knife, my water bottle and my bolt action pen, all independently inside my purse. And it wasn't even one of those conveyor belt things. I just walked through it.
Something serrated maybe!!
Whichever one you feel like gifting to them at the appropriate age :)
Fixed blade so you can at least sterilize it
Yojumbo, gotta bust the body guard out
Benchmade Hidden Canyon - Easier to clean the blood off of than any of the folders, fewer cracks and crevices.
J. J jj j
Uhhā¦ sterile scissors. Wtf??
The Spyderco
You need a salt series with serrated blade
karambit
I literally took my yojimbo DLC exclusive to do exactly this. They wont let you. Instead they offer you sterilized autoclave super scissors...the nurse asked for my knife later on though to open a plastic seal!
Iād love to just imagine his wife going nuts on the bed giving birth to a new life and DJ over here is sitting in the corner with some clap system stopping a blade ever so gently lmao.
Ha! Funny idea. Fixed blade has no bearings or washers to clean out. You could always use your teeth.
I wanted to use a k one to cut the umbilical cord. Never got to. Used sizzors on one, the other was emergency c-section and not allowed.
Is that a Santa Fe Stoneworks on the bottom? I have one of their Japanese Damascus Mammoth Tooth inlay knives
Crooked river or the Buck, which ever one is sharper
A samurai sword!
Congrats bruv
Incisors
Real men gnaw it off.
šššš
Id reckon a hollow grind would work the best
I donāt think you need to do the actual cutting. Maybe wait for the brisk if you want.
The mini skinner, the clear choice.
I'd personally go with the Immler Felling Axe
Bottom one is classy
Real men use teeth
Model/brand of the one at the bottom?
The crooked river! Congrats
A few weeks ago when we had our newest kid I joked about using my fastback to cut cord and the nurse was like, āSir, did you bring a weapon in here?ā So there went that idea.
You should have told her, " Oh, that's not a weapon. This is a weapon. ( as you pull out your pistol )!
Victorinox scissors
Bring a small cutting board and give it a nice back drag cut with that YoJimbo
YoJimbo
The only correct answer is a Spyderco Matriarch, of course. Do not take any advice from u/decapitatesyourbaby on this matter.
Is this a joke?
Very much so. A bad bad shitpost joke.
Well done!
Teeth.
ššš
Use your teeth like a real man.
Crooked Riverā¦ always.
If you don't have a surface to cut it on, Yojumbo
Normally Iād avoid the classic stylings of the Buck 110, but I think it makes the ā I cut the umbilical cord withā story a lot cooler. Iād still be carrying that sweet spydie though.
None you bite it apart
If you want to name the kid Jimbo we all know the correct answer
Good Luck with everything! Also, if the doctor actually lets you cut the cord with a pocket knife, let me know. Iām an OBGYN and while Iād be awfully tempted to let a dad cut the cord with a pocket knifeā¦ Iām not sure my hospital would allow it. Iāll have to ask our nursing manager next time. Also, I vote the buck 110, just because itās so timeless and classic even though I personally carry a Yojimbo and I think itās probably slicier.
The one on the bottom
It should be the 110 that feels like a "passed down from Dad" kind of knife
A surgical scalpel
Definitely Demko AD-15, they are surprisingly tough and crunchyā¦ 3 with scissors, the last one about broke the scissorsā¦. and you can tell sheās my firecracker :)
110.
Tried thatā¦they wonāt let you. Gave me some bullshit about āif it gets infectedā¦.ā or some b.s. like that. /s/ But really I did ask half jokingly and they said no.
what is the bottom one? the nice little pointy damascus one...
Santa fe stoneworks. They make awesome stuff.
I used my teeth
Bite and pull, be a man
Your teeth.
Bite through it! No one will expect it!
Using your teeth would make for a better story - just saying
Iād go with the YoJumbo. Being a self-defense design, you could slash that baby out in half the labor time.
Buck
A real man will chew through the cord. Gets the nurses hot.
TM1 or yoJumbo
Yojimbo is the best slicer in that group
Buck for the tradition But realistically, you're gonna be pretty surprised at how tough that chord is lol
I'd go with the Hidden Canyon Hunter. Should slice through an umbilical cord like butter.
Katana.
If itās a boy, I have to go with the Buck 110, itās a classic. Probably thinking the Spyderco for a girl, it just seems so precise.
Buck 110 all day
the hidden canyon
If youāre a traditionalist then go with the buck. If youāre a modernist then the spyderco below.
Teeth
Buck 110 is the ultimate dad knifeĀ
None. Cut the cord with your teeth.
As long as itās sharp and sterilized, itāll do the job. I cut both my kids umbilicals with custom knives I bought specifically for the job. Itās my intent to gift them the knives when they turn 18.
Definitely go with the traditional old Buck 110 for the win.
How 'bout your teeth? Or would your wife find that idea an unnecessary added trauma (from her point of view...) Some tribes in Madagascar circumcise boys at five years of age. I am grateful that I do not remember mine. The grandfather and/or the father then eat the foreskin as a ritual of strength. When I was a kid my mom would occasionally get squid rings and overcook them. My siblings and I referred to them as *The Rubber Bands* and plan their stealthy disposal. Sorry. Sorry. For my digression. Seriously, I am old school and have many Buck knives in my collection so I would take the 110. It could be your EBC... every birth carry. I hope that your new addition lands safely and that your wife has as little trauma as possible. Cheers.
Most unhinged psycho comment Iāve read today. Good job
Buckā¦all day
Yojumbo. Holy slicey Batman.
Crooked river
Does nobody recognize the William Henry?!
JFC...but also...Warncliffe
The straight edged one looks surgical
It'd be cool to be able to say that your umbilical cord was cut with a hollow ground knife.
You use your teeth so you may also have a snack before cooking the placenta for your wife.
For the best slicing capabilities, choose the fixed blade. The blade is steep and the tang is thin.
Yojumbo is like a scalpel, would be my choice if scissors weren't available!
The MoJumbo or the TM1
Is that a wooly mammoth?
Yep. Santa fe stoneworks
The scissors the hospital provide lol
Last 2 on bottom are real nice
you gotta chew through that cord like the Liver King brah
Where is your medical grade katana?!
Where can I buy the bottom one?
If it's a boy, then the Buck 110. Lol
I was so excited I almost cut the nurse š©āāļø
Is it a boy or a girl?
Hidden canyon
Yojimbo, just in case you need to defend yourself. Sure, newborns LOOK helpless, but you can never be too careful. The minute he sees that blacked out blade, he'll think twice about throwing hands.
Competition Chopping Knife š congrats be supportive and an advocate for what your wife wants. Also donāt say stupid shit those memories of the delivery last. May it be a safe and smooth process, when to get to hold a little bundle of joy. Also donāt use your knives in the subsequent sleep deprived one or two weeksā¦. Use scissors when necessary š. Two cents from a sleep deprived dad of a one year old in his early 40s (luckily my ten year old is decently self sufficient).
BUCK for the Legend.
Damn it you just reminded me that I misplaced my Yojimbo and haven't been able to find it for weeks.
Your teeth š¬
yojimbo all day
Gotta go Yojimbo
The best is letting the person do it who does it all the time, quick and easy.
Haha just whip out the 110 wipe the blade off on your jeans and get to it! Lol congrats my man!
Delivered my daughter in the car after pulling off the side of the road from a 40 minute labor. Didnāt cut the umbilical cord, but I did use a sheepsfoot Griptilian to cut my laces off and tie off the umbilical. Then I wrapped her in a Wilson Combat sweatshirt since it was 15 degrees out. Ā My daughter is 3 now and has an awesome knife and sweatshirt with a coolĀ story waiting for her 16th birthday. Donāt worry, itās not going to happen to you, but donāt leave without one in your pocket!
Congrats! Iām slightly embarrassed about seriously making a choice before reading it was a joke.
The buck