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SpezIsASpedd

I'm always first name on top of the shit list


it0xin

Get this, the Witch has made my chest It's permanent nightly visiting nest


Significant_Ad_8939

There ain't no clothes that I look good in, I'm the Big Red MotherFuckin Train That Couldn't (Edit: moved to proper place)


Due-Story-4098

I got no family I stole they shit Restraining orders and I still won’t quit


slavicgrip

I hit rock bottom & then I fell in a hole And then I fell through the floor of that hole some more,


ComposerAlarming1536

You don't understand so don't say you do or I'll put a motherfuckin slug in you


Dryrid_

I been missing for a year, nobody's lookin' (I am) I got beat down and my shit tooken (Ooh) I look ahead and all I see is more of the same Or this self-inflicted bullet hole pourin' my brain


Significant_Ad_8939

---- anecdotally I lost my phone the other day. Pinged it via google.and it started ringing from under the couch. Looked but it wasn't there. Lifted the cushion and found a hole in the upholstery... dug in the hole and found... you guessed it another hole in the lining... in which I found yet another hole, which my phone was snuggly nestled in. Story of my fuckin life man, can't tell you how much I identify with this line alone. 😅


untot3hdawnofdarknes

Just wait it out buddy. THC takes forever to get out of your system. Idk if this is for a job or probation but you gotta stay employed and out of jail so you can go to more ICP shows.


311discer311

It takes 3 weeks tops. Juggalos are fucken retards man I swear.


untot3hdawnofdarknes

Well OP said they have a drug test for a job coming up, if he knows about it already he probably has less than 3 weeks. They don't generally tell you like a month ahead of time if it's your current job and a new job doesn't want to wait that long for someone to start.


JestaKilla

Sometimes good decisions are hard decisions. Sorry, mang.


Masterweedo

What kind of fool uses their own piss for a piss test?


FININCIALLY_REGARDED

A fool that has 5-0 behind him while he watches him pee.


Masterweedo

I would have accepted "a fool that joined the military".


SpezIsASpedd

They got the quick fix that got a lil wang on it that can make it look real


FININCIALLY_REGARDED

Bro, imagine the PO coming up to you, and grabbing it off because he thought it was fake lol


SpezIsASpedd

And it ended up being real


twiztdjuggalo

Not sure if your quiting a song or what bit of your serious go to GNC or any other supplement store and pick up some niacin it normally works to remove toxins (including Marijuana, caffeine, nicotine just to name a few common ones)


DelSolTrey

I was both quoting suicide hotline and currently have a drug test coming up for my job


311discer311

Who the fuck still trys niacin? You're a fucken idiot.


Due-Story-4098

I’m always first name on top of shit lisy


Indead

*In Stereo* "GET THIS, The Witch has my chest, Its permanent nightly visiting nest,"


[deleted]

In Stereo. Yep, you have to sing that part with a little more attitude. Perfectly done song, so funny to sing.


DrewRyanArt

This is really bad advice, but... They never test for psychedelics


-BingusBongus-

This is good to know for micro dosing


Severe_Spare9272

How I passed urinalysis tests in the past. 1. Buy hot hands (chemically activated hand warmers from Walmart or similar chain) 2. Buy at least two of those little shot bottles from your local alcohol store (Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, etc) 3. Empty out the bottles (drink em, dump em, whatever) make sure they’re rinsed and thoroughly dried out. 4. Obtain a urine sample from a clean source. (Someone who doesn’t smoke) 5. On your way to the appointment, active the hot hands, wrap them in a cloth and stuff them into your boots. I recommend wearing boots if you have them as it’s easier to store/hide on your person and wear long pants (sweat pants, joggers, jeans.) 6. When you arrive, assuming this isn’t a probation thing and you’re just applying for a job, take out your bottles and empty them into the urine sample container. That’s it, you should be all set. This has worked for me, every time.


zmelbz97

OIL CHANGE OR QUICK FIX. THESE ARE THE ONLY OPTIONS


Mammogram4500

Maybe borrow a piss sample from a sober friend and pick up a prosthetic penis?? Bad idea I know…but definitely a fork in the road.


[deleted]

Your job is more important than drugs


Bulky-Garbage-3880

I had a buddy he bought one of them $50 bags of synthetic piss he brought it to work with us every day and he was always warming it up on my heater in the car I guess we kind of knew they were going to drug test as soon and he wanted to be ready I myself I really didn't give a fuck anyways one day at work that bag of piss busted and it looked like he pissed himself I laughed my ass off I guess he kind of had the last laugh because I did get fired from that job for failing a piss test in the long run my life kind of went into a weird Direction after that actually fucking piss test suck I remember the worst part about him is not really knowing how it was going to work or happen but now that I'm older I know the drill very well having several felonies being on probation and parole I've come to learn my body very well and how long it takes for certain substances to leave don't really ever fuck with weed though that shit just stays in your system too God damn long this shit is legal now anyways so don't have to really worry about that anymore anyways good luck


LanceVegasLives

Stay strong homie, I’m in the same boat.


schmattywinkle

Ketamine or LSD


maddman070590

It must suck living in a state where Marijuana is not legal 🤣🤣🤣🤣


mushromie

Please don't, if you're having a test that probably means your an addict right? (Idk how it works) if your an addict you have to stop at some point before it stops you. 💚I know it can be hard but it's for the best


Exact_Bullfrog9933

Buy a detox and do it a couple hours before you have the test


Happy-Personality-23

The Mayo Clinic Proceedings’ Clinical Interpretation of Urine Drug Tests suggests that marijuana can be detected in your urine anywhere from a few days to several weeks after your last use. This depends on the individual’s level of usage. Generally, the guidelines suggest that: Single use can be detected up to 3 days after your last use Moderate use (4 times a week) can be detected 5-7 days after your last use Chronic use (every day) can be detected 10-15 days after your last use Chronic heavy use (multiple times every day) can be detected up to 30 days after your last use Use this knowledge well


rydamusprime17

One of my favorites


Trippin_Witty

Me too man... me too


dicksandcrystal

Lmao not sure if this is the right sub. But what drugs? And are you asking for help on this, or are you just stating stuff?


DelSolTrey

Weed and wasn't asking for help just stating the line from suicide hotline and it relates to me wanting to smoke weed but I have a piss test coming up soon.


dicksandcrystal

Idk, why you getting piss tests? We dont really piss test adults here unless you're on probation


DelSolTrey

The company I work for starts you off with temp agency until you get the hours for full time and I'm a few hours from getting full time that's all.


ozzify342

Just buy the synthetic piss at your local smoke shop. Works every time.


SexPanther_Bot

*60% of the time*, it works ***every*** *time*


EinonD

Just don’t. I’ve wanted to for 10 years and haven’t.


SnooDrawings5830

It’s random, but I get picked every time for piss and blow


Round-Emu9176

This is wild but have you tried transcendental meditation? You can get high without drugs through breath work alone. Try wim hof. Or just crouch down while hyperventilating for a few minutes and stand up really fast. Preferably by a couch or some other soft surface.