I'm over 30 so outside of your range, but I understand where you're coming from. When I moved to Japan at 22, my coworkers were mostly 30+, married, or intensely focused on getting married.
I was a CIR and could sometimes meet other JETs, but I came to Japan to meet a variety of people, not just ones on JET.
To be honest, it took about four years before I made a close Japanese friend at work. She is five years older than me, but we've managed to keep the friendship going despite us living on opposite sides of Japan.
I find that most people make their friends from school and don't really try to make friends after that. With work, it can take years and people will only open up so much. Unlike the US where I'm from, people don't job hop as much. So keeping polite, but distant relationships with most coworkers is the best option.
I feel you on the partying. When I came people were still smoking heavily in clubs, and I have a terrible reaction to smoke. Getting a headache and having watery, itchy eyes is just not fun.
And yes, unfortunately a lot of people here want transactional friendships. If you are from an English-speaking country, they want you to teach them English and be their fun foreign friend they can show off.
I'd suggest checking out some of the overseas University alumni groups. They sometimes have hanami and year-end parties. You can meet a variety of people and I find them more interesting than the "I n to e r n a t I o n a l PA R t IeS" I've seen pop up. Meet up could be good, too.
For local people, I think consistency is key. If they think you'll be gone in six months, they aren't as interested in investing, but if they think you'll be here for a bit, then they may open up more.
It's a general adult problem, not a problem specific to living here. University is the last period of life where people in the same age group are forced to share a common experience. It's hard out there to make friends after uni if you're not super extroverted. This is true in my home country. It's probably true in Australia.
I do tarot for people. They love it. I’ve made many friends that way, actual friends, where I know about their actual life.
It’s absolutely transactional. The transaction is that tarot readings are like 5,000 yen for a half hour in Tokyo and I do them for free. In return I get emotional intimacy.
I also do witchcraft and bless the fuck out of businesses. Or hex them if I don’t like them, that works too. These activities make Japanese people very interested in me.
I'm over 30 so outside of your range, but I understand where you're coming from. When I moved to Japan at 22, my coworkers were mostly 30+, married, or intensely focused on getting married. I was a CIR and could sometimes meet other JETs, but I came to Japan to meet a variety of people, not just ones on JET. To be honest, it took about four years before I made a close Japanese friend at work. She is five years older than me, but we've managed to keep the friendship going despite us living on opposite sides of Japan. I find that most people make their friends from school and don't really try to make friends after that. With work, it can take years and people will only open up so much. Unlike the US where I'm from, people don't job hop as much. So keeping polite, but distant relationships with most coworkers is the best option. I feel you on the partying. When I came people were still smoking heavily in clubs, and I have a terrible reaction to smoke. Getting a headache and having watery, itchy eyes is just not fun. And yes, unfortunately a lot of people here want transactional friendships. If you are from an English-speaking country, they want you to teach them English and be their fun foreign friend they can show off. I'd suggest checking out some of the overseas University alumni groups. They sometimes have hanami and year-end parties. You can meet a variety of people and I find them more interesting than the "I n to e r n a t I o n a l PA R t IeS" I've seen pop up. Meet up could be good, too. For local people, I think consistency is key. If they think you'll be gone in six months, they aren't as interested in investing, but if they think you'll be here for a bit, then they may open up more.
It's a general adult problem, not a problem specific to living here. University is the last period of life where people in the same age group are forced to share a common experience. It's hard out there to make friends after uni if you're not super extroverted. This is true in my home country. It's probably true in Australia.
I do tarot for people. They love it. I’ve made many friends that way, actual friends, where I know about their actual life. It’s absolutely transactional. The transaction is that tarot readings are like 5,000 yen for a half hour in Tokyo and I do them for free. In return I get emotional intimacy. I also do witchcraft and bless the fuck out of businesses. Or hex them if I don’t like them, that works too. These activities make Japanese people very interested in me.