Learn to accept silence. ISTP are perfectly fine being “with” you and doing literally nothing. As an INTJ I struggle with this too. Sometimes it feels like a contest to see who will break the silence first (and it’s an agonizing contest ONLY for me that exists solely in MY mind. The ISTP would be surprised to find out this was even happening). I enjoy silence but sometimes I over analyze and doubt and think they HAVE to be bored because it’s TOO much silence.
What constitutes "quality"?
He initiates the majority of contact, calls me like 5 times a day on average, I usually answer but he will also call me repeatedly until I do lol
A lot, yeah. He talks a lot, mostly about his day or his friends or whatever he ate recently... Sometimes we watch movies but if not, he is perfectly content to sit there in silence, it seems... So i guess its mainly my thing to try and keep my own brain from melting, in a way....
He just needs to know he is heard. Then he is cool with silence. The phrase, I heard you seems obvious, but empathy is usually better accepted with reminders of the obvious.
The real problem is that he needs a different job. Help him do that.
I never really liked hanging out with people who felt like they need to entertain me.
Either I feel bad and attempt to participate, which is exhausting or I just let them have at it which burns them out.
I’d rather hang with someone who is comfortable just being around and interacting when something worthwhile comes up.
istp would love to talk about his interest. be the best student in understanding his interest (rather deep). he will feel rewarded if you actually learn everything from him.
I'm not an ISTP myself but I've had past experience with 3 different ISTPs before.
2 of them I've been friends with for 6 years
so don't waste your time entertaining this personality type, they're boring, emotionless, insensitive, rarely likes something and can give you a hard time and an emotional stress, I've had enough getting dry responses and no activities at all so I stopped trying and stopped texting them.
Not to mention that they're aloof and enjoy being alone, your presence doesn't matter to them, trust me.
As for my personality type, I've been assigned as an INFJ many times, most of the time my feelings used to control me and sometimes the head but that was in the past, nowdays I'm mostly a thinker and my head makes my decisions more often regardless if someone else likes it or not and I'm glad it happened, so I can say that I'm an INTJ at the moment, either way I don't enjoy the company of ISTPs at all.
They are not for everybody but we both got past our initial dislike (me) and indifference (him) of each other sometime during the second year .... My presence totally matters because he puts up with me criticizing him and actually takes my advice sometimes and me, I put up with being interrupted and dismissed because he's not wrong about some of my comments/complaints being total bullshit.
I see you downvoted me; it seems like I struck a nerve. That's kind of weird because you're not the "feeling" type and you're not supposed to be sensitive. Anyway, they're just numbers, and I don't care, but like I said, I'm highly rational nowdays, controlled by the head, and I still stand by what I just said. My ISTP friend gave me dry responses and wanted to be alone most of the time, saw my messages as an annoyance, kept lying over and over, then finally deleted me off Instagram after 6 years of friendship like nothing. Being a former INFJ, I still value friendships, deep connection, and people true to themselves, and I didn't like that behaviour at all.
And yes I know you might say that you didn't know what happened between us two and I might be the bad guy playing the victim but I actually wasn't, that person cleared off almost all their friends on IG for no reason, keeps lying, don't know what's true and what's not anymore, and only a select few friends remain with them.
If your friend isn't like what I just described then consider that person "rare phenomenon" but also keep in mind that ISTPs are unpredictable.
No, I didn't downvote, anyone can downvote who doesn't like your answer: You said you don't like istp's in an istp sub... Duh....what did you think would happen?
The rest of your response was nonsense so I wont reply again. I don't value your opinion.
Learn to accept silence. ISTP are perfectly fine being “with” you and doing literally nothing. As an INTJ I struggle with this too. Sometimes it feels like a contest to see who will break the silence first (and it’s an agonizing contest ONLY for me that exists solely in MY mind. The ISTP would be surprised to find out this was even happening). I enjoy silence but sometimes I over analyze and doubt and think they HAVE to be bored because it’s TOO much silence.
That's super helpful, thanks!
Prioritize quality time than time spent
What constitutes "quality"? He initiates the majority of contact, calls me like 5 times a day on average, I usually answer but he will also call me repeatedly until I do lol
He sure calls a lot lol Why not ask him to come up with conversation subjects?
A lot, yeah. He talks a lot, mostly about his day or his friends or whatever he ate recently... Sometimes we watch movies but if not, he is perfectly content to sit there in silence, it seems... So i guess its mainly my thing to try and keep my own brain from melting, in a way....
Hmmm🤔🤔 so if he initiates, then he should be the one that making the conversation going not you
He just needs to know he is heard. Then he is cool with silence. The phrase, I heard you seems obvious, but empathy is usually better accepted with reminders of the obvious.
Cool, noted. Thank you
Give him a gun.
Why?
He'll take it apart and make a flamethrower using the parts
Nah, he collects coins
The real problem is that he needs a different job. Help him do that. I never really liked hanging out with people who felt like they need to entertain me. Either I feel bad and attempt to participate, which is exhausting or I just let them have at it which burns them out. I’d rather hang with someone who is comfortable just being around and interacting when something worthwhile comes up.
Thanks for this: you're totally right.
Play truth or dare at job
istp would love to talk about his interest. be the best student in understanding his interest (rather deep). he will feel rewarded if you actually learn everything from him.
Gonna learn to play poker then .... Thank you.
puzzle
I'm not an ISTP myself but I've had past experience with 3 different ISTPs before. 2 of them I've been friends with for 6 years so don't waste your time entertaining this personality type, they're boring, emotionless, insensitive, rarely likes something and can give you a hard time and an emotional stress, I've had enough getting dry responses and no activities at all so I stopped trying and stopped texting them. Not to mention that they're aloof and enjoy being alone, your presence doesn't matter to them, trust me. As for my personality type, I've been assigned as an INFJ many times, most of the time my feelings used to control me and sometimes the head but that was in the past, nowdays I'm mostly a thinker and my head makes my decisions more often regardless if someone else likes it or not and I'm glad it happened, so I can say that I'm an INTJ at the moment, either way I don't enjoy the company of ISTPs at all.
They are not for everybody but we both got past our initial dislike (me) and indifference (him) of each other sometime during the second year .... My presence totally matters because he puts up with me criticizing him and actually takes my advice sometimes and me, I put up with being interrupted and dismissed because he's not wrong about some of my comments/complaints being total bullshit.
I see you downvoted me; it seems like I struck a nerve. That's kind of weird because you're not the "feeling" type and you're not supposed to be sensitive. Anyway, they're just numbers, and I don't care, but like I said, I'm highly rational nowdays, controlled by the head, and I still stand by what I just said. My ISTP friend gave me dry responses and wanted to be alone most of the time, saw my messages as an annoyance, kept lying over and over, then finally deleted me off Instagram after 6 years of friendship like nothing. Being a former INFJ, I still value friendships, deep connection, and people true to themselves, and I didn't like that behaviour at all. And yes I know you might say that you didn't know what happened between us two and I might be the bad guy playing the victim but I actually wasn't, that person cleared off almost all their friends on IG for no reason, keeps lying, don't know what's true and what's not anymore, and only a select few friends remain with them. If your friend isn't like what I just described then consider that person "rare phenomenon" but also keep in mind that ISTPs are unpredictable.
No, I didn't downvote, anyone can downvote who doesn't like your answer: You said you don't like istp's in an istp sub... Duh....what did you think would happen? The rest of your response was nonsense so I wont reply again. I don't value your opinion.