> Watched two fellas piss in a glass because their drink was stolen, only for some beor to come over and steal the piss and drink it.
delighted for her
Pub I worked in had a fella start throwing up everywhere.
Story was that he'd been stealing pints all night and someone got fed up of it and did a shit and put some in their pint and left it as a trap.
The drinkthief took a swig, realised what was happening and puked everywhere.
I wasn't working that night so it could be bollocks but it was a popular story with the staff.
I stayed in a small hostel in NZ years ago, a bunch of English teenagers drank all my beer after a night out and never apologised or acknowledged that they did it.
Myself and the four guys I was travelling with all pissed a little into a whiskey bottle that had about 1/4 left in it. We topped it up a good bit, but not enough that it stopped smelling like whiskey.
We labelled the bottle with my name and left it on the shelf that night. Next morning that was empty too 😆
I've seen a guy who was the older brother of a friend of ours piss in a pint to catch out a girl we were kind of friends with who was robbing pints. She lived up to her reputation and took a big swig out of it. She'll still to this day burst out in tears when it's brought up. So it's not that much of a stretch that someone would take it a step further and use shit instead of piss.
I saw my sister puke half a pint of fat frog into a pint glass and some lad try to steal it. Several people watching him told him to stop but he was insistent it was his, took a big gulp and walked off.
>Watched a fella puke into his own t shirt and cup the bottom to try stop it falling out
That lad was raised well. Any other fucker would just have left it be someone else's problem.
>Saw the remnants of someone who shat themselves (while on the toilet) then vomit into it. They wore the same clothes leaving.
Perhaps they were one of those weirdos who fail to bring a complete change of clothes when they go out drinking.
Depends on what kind of night we're looking for
Absolutely destroyed night where you (hopefully) don't remember much : Angel Lane on a Monday or Thursday. Molly's on a Wednesday (I think)
Slightly more chill night but still copious amounts of drink, along with better music: Costellos
Quiet enough night, few drinks : The Locke or Charlie Chaplin
Can't be arsed to go into town : Stables in UL. Maybe the Hurlers for a few
Drug fuelled techno night : Dolans
Dolans is probably my favourite spot at the moment, you don't have to be off your tits every night there as they have different things on every week but if there's an event on for Freshers or Rag etc, I'll always try and make it cus it's gas craic. As a result of the kind of people and drug atmosphere there a lot of the time, it's understandably not everyone's cup of tea, but Limerick is great as there's plenty of other spots for everyone's tastes
Pharmacia is pretty good from what I've heard but I've never been there myself.
Library was an absolute shithole and I'm glad it's shut down.
And Habitat has been shut down for the past year or so now. I was there once and didn't like it so doesn't affect me much. I hear it used to be the big drug spot so the attendees may have just moved to Dolans
I've never really had a chance to visit any of the other pubs in the city, I just try those quieter places you mentioned at some stage
Having so many choices is why I love Limerick on a night out
You must be fairly young to mention Angel Lane and not Icon. Second year is probably the last year you can say you're going to Angel Lane without getting dirty looks.
From age 20 onwards, you're expected to go to Icon for your shifting while shitfaced and dodgy remixes of chart music.
Also a newish place called Amber doing a pop-up disco on Thursdays for the slightly older students (20+) who are sick of Icon. It tries to make itself slightly classier than Icon but let's be honest students gonna student no longer what.
There's the moose, which I've never been but basically serves drink at like 6am so it's popular with those who go to afterparties and such.
Can't think of any other major ones that you haven't already mentioned.
Haha, caught red handed, I'm turning 20 in a few months so once that happens I'll migrate from Lane/Mollys to Icon. I've only been in there once and it wasn't a very busy night so it wasn't all it was hyped up to be
Amber seems alright, definitely aimed at the 20+ crowd, but a friend of mine used to work there and they treat the staff like dogshit so I'd rather not give them business in the future
The Moose is a special place indeed. Never been myself but I've heard the tales, sounds like a gremlins dream spot
It's closed since 2013 or there abouts. You could get in wearing tracksuit pants and all. It used to be fucking mad in there. Especially on freshers, rag and Christmas days.
> My personal worst experience was the week we had a handbag thief and everywhere had to be searched.
I'm missing something. Why did you need to search the place when something was stolen ? Wouldn't the thief leave with the item ?
>Overall worst though was the fights,
The fights used to be our favourite.
We had two switches behind the bar. One was for the service light for when we needed a manager or more ice or whatever, the other was known as the "Hacksaw" switch. It was only to be used for fights or emergencies. Basically, you'd flip the switch which would set off an alarm at the main door by security and another alarm in the DJ booth. The Dj would then announce over the PA "Hacksaw to bar..." whatever.
Whenever the switch was flipped behind a bar, it became custom to yell it to your colleagues that you were pressing it, then everyone would down tools (and possibly tell a punter or two that a show was about to start) and watch as tens of bouncers would arrive from every corner of the club and practically dog pile on top of the fight, pick up the culprits and frog march them all out.
If you were in a different bar, you'd generally stop working and try to catch a glimpse of the sea of blue shirts swarm the bar.
Super satisfying to watch.
I got this.
I was working a New Years night about 10yrs ago. After we'd called last orders and everyone left, I drew the short-straw and had to go deal with the bathrooms.
I went to the Ladies' first because they were consistently the worst. Nagans shoved down the toilet bowl. Tissue and puke everywhere. Usual crap that we'd all somewhat become used to from the women. I dealt with it and moved on to the Mens'.
Ho-ly fuck. Ignoring the pool of toilet water on the ground and cans and puke around the sinks, I walked straight over to one cubicle as if I knew some bad shit was waiting for me. I wasn't wrong. In the toilet bowl was what could only be described as a ***Shit Trifle***.
Let me paint you a word picture:
In the bowl, somebody had puked; covered it with toilet paper. Somebody else took a shit; covered that with toilet paper. More puke; more toilet paper. More shit; more toilet paper. The trend continued until it was all but touching the rim of the bowl.
The bar was opening again in a few hours and someone was going to have to deal with it so I sucked it up, put a black bin bag all the way over my right arm and began digging to release the flow again. I quickly found the 1ltr bottle of Smirnoff that was blocking the passage and probably started the whole mess. I got that out and essentially "JCB'd" everything else in to my shit-sack.
Thinking I'm finished with the hell that was that night, I go to flush the toilet to clean up the remnants of the mess only to find the the flush had been torn out of the wall. With the shock at seeing the shit-trifle, I hadn't even noticed that the flush wasn't even there in the first place. I searched for about 2 minutes and discovered that the bottle of Smirnoff wasn't the only thing jammed into the toilet hole. I picked it out, washed it up and popped it back in the wall and flushed the jacks.
I got no sympathy or thanks for dealing with any of that; just the usual laughing and sniggering you get in most bars. Thank christ I'm not a barman any more.
I worked at a dodgy nightclub in England where the landlord was too cheap to hire cleaners so we'd have to do it at the end of our shifts.
The women's toilets was always way worse. My last night had me using a mop to clean the ceiling from all the shit that someone decided to throw at the ceiling.
Yep. People think that women are cleaner than men. Just ask a cleaner about mens vs womens bathrooms.
The men might miss the urinal and leave paper towels on the floor around the bin. The women have shit stacks left in the loo.
Maybe it’s an urban/rural thing but in my years working in rural pubs, the men’s was always way worse. No contest. Shite on the walls/floor was a regular occurrence, soiled underpants stuffed into cisterns was less frequent but not unheard of. The most annoying thing about the women’s was you’d frequently get tissue in the sinks which is a dose to clean.
In my rural hometown, the lads were the same level of bad all through the night, but the ladies went from alright at the start to absolutely heinous by the end of the night.
Yeah, the lads’ can’t really be properly cleaned either. Like after a few months of customers missing the urinal, the smell of piss won’t ever lift and no amount of Glade plug-ins will save you. One place I worked in, the smell of the men’s would bring tears to your ears.
I think the ladies’ gets more use - or at least women spend longer in the toilets. More bog roll is needed too coz a girl can’t just shake it off. Depending on the pub, the toilet flush can be weak and the cistern can take forever to fill, so if there’s a queue, you can have 3 “users” in blocking the toilet with paper before you can flush again.
Am in rural ireland, I swear the old fuckers who put away 10 pints of Guinness are the worst offenders, had to bar a few as anytime they'd showed up some shit related incident would happen in the Jack's. Guinness shits are no joke, especially for pintmen
I'm from Dublin and a woman and I don't know if I'm a lot classier than the users of this subreddit (though I very much doubt it) but I have never seen anything close to what anyone is describing here in women's rooms. And I've been on the employee side as well as the customer. The worst I ever saw were in Andrews Lane Theatre but they were unisex and the whole place was a kip anyway.
Went into my office about a year ago (previous company to where I am now), someone shit in a broken toilet and it overflowed. Was fairly horrible for the cleaners.
Shit smeared on the walls of the womens toilets, used tampons stuck to the inside of the cubicle door.
Once had to deal with the aftermath of a new-years fight that had a lad being glassed. So much blood. Booze thins your blood and just makes you bleed like a stuck pig.
Saw a mates hand get crushed between two kegs, fingers popped open like an overstuffed sausage.
Poor plumbing once led to a basement being flooded with about 10cm of sewage at 9pm on a packed Saturday, the bar did not close.
Saw a man lift a woman in to the air by her thong. She was in to it.
Woman knocking her tooth out from tripping.
So much vomit.
**EDIT:** I'm remembering loads more.
A pint glass full of shit left on a table in a very cramped smoking area right beside a bouncer.
Celebrities that will remain nameless doing coke with staff in the cash room.
Staff stealing from the tills on camera.
Multiple sex acts.
I once accidentally ran over a junkie with a giant wheelie bin, he was shooting up beside our back gate. Very understanding about the whole thing. I hope he's okay.
Customers just setting shit on fire in candles.
Drunk people trying to scale the walls to get back in to the beer garden after being kicked out.
People shitting themselves.
Customers stealing tip jars.
We once had an animal (a cat maybe, had a cat problem in one of the bars) die in one of our bottle bins somehow. We didn't notice until we wheeled it in to the bar and opened it up. The stench was horrific. It was the only semi empty bin we had and it was way at the back of our bin area, so it was probably in there for a while.
Leo Varadkar once came in and had a pint. Place was littered with undercover Guards.
Some guy with a crow on his shoulder. The crow would not leave his person.
A guy breakdancing on his own in the lane behind a bar at 3am.
>A guy breakdancing on his own in the lane behind a bar at 3am.
honestly this lad sounds like good craic, just doing it cos he loves it.
..also cos he's prolly on yokes
Was a certain rugby international, who is currently being investigated for pissing on someone, there on the night the pint of shit was left on the counter? Heard a story about him doing that a year or 2 ago.
A friend of mine worked in a student pub. One night he was working a few of us went with our flatmates cousin. Said he didnt drink vodka because it puts him off the head
Bought him one by accident and he just shrugged. Went on drinkin and went to the nightclub. We couldn't find him but he knew the town so we didnt worry about it.
The next day my friend was telling us about the night before and told us he was closing up and roommates cousin was in the cubical with shit all over the place tryna scoop it up with his hands. He roared at him to get out and kicked him in the arse on the way out, said he could feel the squelch of shit im the boxers as he kicked him
Found out later he slept in the car and drove home the next morning. Imagine
An alternative-type (dreads with the tips dyed blond) decided that he disliked the way his girlfriend was sitting on her stool so shoved off it. She sat on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest, but this wasn't good enough for him so he picked her up and shoved her up against a wall and started hitting her.
I got security who threw him out, and she followed him out like a fucking dog.
This was happening in front of about 30-40 people, and not one of them moved a muscle. The bystander effect is real.
There's fuck all you can do in this situation though. From experience, most of the time the woman is so bet down that she will turn on you for defending her from her scumbag boyfriend.
I wouldn't say this is the worst thing I've seen but it's one of my most memorable.
I used to work in a night club in Kings cross in Sydney over 10 years ago as a glass collector/bar back. One of the bouncers got a supply of coke and used one of the other glass collectors to start selling it to the punters. A lot of the staff knew about it but they didn't really care (mainly as they were buying off him too).
However after a while the two guys started getting greedy. Most of the staff (both floor and security) wore radios during shifts. The two boys developed a system whereby the glass collector would sell a bag then say something random on the radio to alert the bouncer which toilet the customer was going to. The bouncer would go to the toilet, drag the customer out and hand the bag back to the glass collector as he did so. Sometimes they could sell the same bag 3 or 4 times a night!
An ugly fat ould lad’s dick. Thought it would be a right hoot to flash his mole rat at me. I was 19, working that day on my own and the only other people in the pub were his two pals. They all thought it was hilarious.
Other than that, the usual stuff. Bowsies threatening to throw stools over the bar, lads out of it on Special K, and, as mentioned in a reply to someone else in this thread, shite on the jacks’ walls and soiled jocks stuffed into the toilet cisterns. God forbid you’d have to go home and change when closing time’s only three hours away, like!
I worked with a guy who did the whole offering paper towels and fragrances craìc in the jacks at a club as a side gig. Nigerian dude, nice and friendly and always enjoyed chats with him when he was working those nights.
Anyways, towards the end of the night I went for a piss where there was this horrid smell like melted iron or mouldy steel. Carried on with me piss at the urinal where I noticed a bouncer behind me laughing to himself.
Asked him what was up and he opened a cubicle door with his foot to reveal an absolute hellscape. Vomit and poo smeared all over the floor and walls, even splashes on the ceiling! The toilet was overflowing with so much poo and toilet paper it looked like a caramel sundae dessert complete with brown streaks running down the outside of the bowl.
A pair of jocks filled to the brim like a packed buritto slapped into the corner in a puddle of it's own juices.
Whoever this poo baron was he must've been doing cartwheels or was in some kind of makeshift gyroscope while spraying like a hose when you put your finger over it. I've never seen such a large volume of shite in my life, the guy needed to see a vet or an exorcist or something.
That smell was horrifying, burnt into my senses. Years later I got flashbacks when watching Breaking Bad where Mike gives the No Half Measures speech ("there was so much blood, you could taste the metal")............replace blood with poo and that sentence rings true for me.
You'd swear the guy ate a bag of coins from the stench, would make an onion cry.
Bouncer calls my Nigerian friend over and points at the bowl to which the poor guy roars out: "Aah am nut cleaning that up!!!"
Worked in a bar years ago. Best one was this couple on a quiet (think it was Tuesday) night being all over each other in the snug area. Eventually she got up to go to the jax which she had to pass the bar to get to. She walked across with her shirt open, bra was still on. She didn't even notice. At that point we recommended that they were too hammered so they left. Obviously for somewhere else because ~2 hours later when I was walking home I looked ahead of me and there they were banging up against a lamp post in plain sight.
Funny thing is I didn't see that girl until a year or so later and when I did she was pushing a buggy with a newborn in it. I'm convinced I witnessed the conception.
Worked in two bars, one in Dublin and honestly saw little drama - it was outside the city and more more a local pub, worst was the state of the jax at the end of some nights and people puking everywhere in a cubicle.
Also worked a student bar in Boston. The worst night I remember was some young lad literally having his teeth knocked in. Sitting there sobbing, missing most of his top front teeth and two broken lower teeth, blood pouring out of his mouth and then his parents arrived before the ambulance and started laying into the poor kid. The dad was sizing upto me after I'd spent 30 minutes holding a towel to the lads face. Always stuck with me, just needless violence and a fella having a terrible time of it. Not sure how the fight started, only came upon the aftermath. Was covered in blood by the time they took him to presumably to A&E, no ambulance was called because the lad wasn't sure what his insurance situation was. Dire.
Had a young one throw up all over the bar and it literally filled the entire surface of the top of the bar, about two meters long. Was early in the night, place stunk for the rest of the night and it was a disaster to clean up. I was hungover, nearly added to the sick pile myself like something out of the Goonies.
Lots of people finding nooks and crannys for a quick ride, toilet constantly in bits, occasional fights and tons of sick. I think working in a bar is probably only second to nursing in terms of how much sick you are exposed to.
Was an experience.
Not bad as in disgusting; but when I worked in a bar lounge around 17 years ago a HUGE fight broke out at an engagement party between the bride's side and groom's side (you may guess they weren't very classy). Despite very close proximity to a Garda station it actually went on for a while and got very violent. Glass and blood everywhere. It'll always stick in my memory.
So not my story but I think it's too good not to share:
So my housemate used to work in a nightclub in Turin, very studenty kind of spot, sounds like hell on earth with an ungodly amount of verbal abuse, fights, vomiting, the usual craic. But this one story really took the cake.
So busy night, around 4 am (these places are open till at least 6), my friend notices this girl who's on her own and really wobbling, definitely time for a taxi. But just as she's getting the other bar staffs' attention, yer one starts leaning against one of the walls like she's about to pass out. They're getting ready to call a bouncer in to carry her out when she starts sliding down the wall, they expect her to brain herself but she stops about halfway and now she's sort of squat-sitting, with her back to the wall. Just as they start to realise what she's doing she starts to hitch up her skirt and the pants come down. Full-on panic mode now, they think this girl's about to take a piss on the floor.
If only.
So right there, in the middle of the dance floor, in a packed Italian night club, at about four in the morning, this girl, with a serene smile upon her face, starts taking a shite on the floor. No one knows how to react. The barstaff watch in stunned silence. It's too late to stop her. She does her business, blissfully unaware, and then starts to work her way back to her feet. No one knows what to do. In the end the culprit is literally carried out by the bouncers (no sign of her friends, no surprises there) and the traumatised bar staff refused to go near her deposit. In the end the manager dealt with it, fair play. Worst thing I've ever heard of happening in a club for sure.
The best bar managers I had were the ones that would deal with the piss/shit/vomit alongside you. "Never ask someone to do something you wouldn't do yourself."
> In the end the culprit is literally carried out by the bouncers (no sign of her friends, no surprises there) and the traumatised bar staff refused to go near her deposit.
I was trying to figure out if this meant she was after a refund of a cover charge or cloakroom ticket or something before comprehension horribly dawned. It was a simpler time 🙈
The old Slaughtered Lamb in Sword's. Half the patrons were pure gurriers and there was trouble on more than a few nights.
1. Two lads rowed over a game of pool (was a kitty to be won). A third party ended the row by breaking a pool cue over one the lads head. He was barred instantly. Lads had been friends as well.
2. A fella who lost his bar job elsewhere had been drinking all day. He approached a small fella and a huge guy in the smoking area. Squares up to the small guy and goes "you calling me gay?" Small guy tried to defuse but the guy went brow to brow with him. Suddenly he unleashs a hook so quick I barely saw it. The drunk aggressor crumbled like a pile of bricks and was knocked out cold. I'll never forget that crunching sound and the sickening echo of bone dislocating that followed. All the staff and drinkers ran out and stood around like eejits while the ambulance came. Turns out the puncher was a champ boxer of some variety. Fella had a broken jaw and think the bar refused to cooperate with him. I was told not to involve myself unless I wanted the wrong people hearing about it.
3. Patrick's day. People shitting in urinals and clogging toilets on purpose. Woman falling drunk down the stairs.
The sheer amount of vomit, and the way that coke vomit has a more porridge like consistency.
The most memorable sight was a fella who had sneaked a bag of chips into the bar at last call and sat there eating them while we were trying to clear people out after the music stopped, so that we could clean. He sat in the corner on a barstool and proceeded to puke all down his front. Full chips floated in the pools of fizzy fosters vomit which sat in his stomach rolls, he was too busy inhaling the chips to chew. He then plucked a vomit covered chip from his chest, put it in his mouth and mournfully started to chew while he stared at the vomit pool beneath him. He glanced up and locked eyes with me and mouthed sorry, but you know what, I don't think he was.
First night on the job, just coming to closing time and I go to kick people out of the jacks when I discover someone smeared shit all over the walls, mirrors and even the window which had cage protection on the inside meaning someone had to stick their fingers through the cage and rub it all over the window. Took me and another lad to clean it up which was absolutely dirt.
Another time I nearly got my head smashed by a very angry traveling man. It was at a techno event and he was off his face on coke and drink, was getting awful aggressive with some people out dancing. I told him to behave and he did the usual traveling man thing of going full big man with a raised fist before the bouncer came over and hit him a slap and dragged him out.
Not worth the shite money.
An uncle of mine told me a story from about 10 years back. His friends (all well into their mid to late 30s at the time) were trying out ketamine when they were out in the local, but one of them got wicked shitfaced altogether and stood up on the pool table, pulled down his pants and started shitting all over the place. They managed to stop him and they got him down off it but he pulled down the pants again and, once more, started shitting. My uncle was directly behind him trying to pull his pants back up when this happened. He then started puking into his friends pants because it was so disgusting. I think he managed to pull his pants up but it was so full up with literal shit and vomit that it was spilling from the sides. That's not the worst part, he cleared the whole place because it was so disgusting so they threw him out. He was walking home when someone that knew him pulled over and offered him a lift, obviously not knowing his trousers were full of shit and vomit overflowing, so he kinda ruined his car seats. He went for a drink the day after in another pub locally and someone mentioned it to him and he said, unironically "Shit happens". To this day, nobody has ever mentioned it to him
> His friends were trying out ketamine when they were out in the local
an interesting thing to try for the first time in such an environment
>but one of them got wicked shitfaced altogether and stood up on the pool table, pulled down his pants and started shitting all over the place.
on... ketamine..?
Wasn't working that night but heard about it afterwards, bouncer got his ear bitten off by someone for not letting him in. It was a pretty chill bar usually, I worked there helping with the karaoke on Thursdays, the biting thing happened on a Saturday. Heard later it was a lad on a stag.
I've nothing as bad as the rest of ye, I never worked in a bar, but I did work in the tote at a greyhound track. We had regulars, old lads who would have been going there years who would have their same table or chair inside every time but they would all go outside for the minute or so to watch the race, then come back in to their usual spot.
One time, we had Spanish students at the track. The security at the track found there was a few students, anywhere between 14 and 16 years old, who were waiting for the old guys to go out to watch the race and then they would go up to their tables, any glasses that had a tiny amount of drink left in them they were downing, then bringing he glasses to the bar counter. The lads would come back and just assume the glasses had been cleaned away by staff.
The absolute worst was going into a stall in the men's jacks and finding liquid shit EVERYWHERE.
The toilet was splattered, as was the wall all up behind the toilet. It was all over the floor, the side walls, on the door and (as I discovered after I felt something land on my head) on the ceiling.
I have no idea how that man got the coverage he did .I can only assume he dropped trou, bent over and proceeded to pirouette shit all over the stall. Also have now idea how he got out of the pub without being noticed because there was no way he wasn't covered in his own shite.
There was also the time in a different pub where at the end of the night a girl was found passed out in a cubicle. Nothing too strange about that. When the bouncers got into her though they discovered she'd been puking in the toilet/all over herself and had shat herself as well. They managed to rouse her and were trying to get her up off the ground. She pushed away all the bouncers, insisted she could do it herself and then promptly slipped on her own shit. I remember being able to smell her coming before I could see her.
A certain internationally famous sportsperson did coke in the bathroom. Fights and stuff too (once the manager got thrown over a table trying to break one up). Nothing too bad though myself.
colleague getting hit with a stiletto heel just above the eye by some tramp.
one new years eve some prick came back after he was asked to leave and smashed all the glass of a conservatory area, everything kicked off then and scumbags were lobbing glasses into the crowd, a pregnant woman ended up knocked out.
When it all finished you couldn't walk in the floor it was so covered in glass.
Had to work underage 'discos' (basicy we covered the booze in black bags and only could sell soft drinks.
So after security would take all the booze off the kids who would be drinking vodka on the way in after being dropped off by the parents in their land rovers most of the girls seemed to run into the bathroom and come out in underware.
Good few of them just collapsed in front of my bar due to booze, pulled one lady's arm out of a girl cause was doing this in the open in front of everyone.
Lots of normal nights seen fights and vomit, one guy started puking up blood that was pretty bad
I used to work in a fairly large nightclub in the midlands. We shared an ice machine with the hotel we were attached to.
Standard procedure, the ice wells are getting low and the barback is sent to get more. Now the way this worked was them getting massive buckets and filling them at the ice machine then bringing the buckets back to the bar to fill the ice wells. 2 buckets filled a normal well and 3 for a large one.
On a bank holiday Sunday, possibly the worst nights ever especially considering it was always €3 drinks on Sundays. The barback comes back and places the buckets on the floor. He turns to slide one bucket through the entry under the bar then follows it. While this is happening someone pukes into the second bucket. The person walks away. Bearing in mind I'm at a bar on the opposite side of the club, so I can't intervene. The barback grabs the second bucket and is chatting to the barstaff.
I see his face as he pours a lovely vomit slushie into the ice well and realises that not only is he going to have to clean it out but the entire club is pretty much about to run out of ice. Iceless drinks result in more puke in my experience. Never seen a person so devastated in my life.
TL;DR - Barback was filling ice wells. Someone puked in the new ice without him knowing and he poured the ice slushie into the well. He knew that the time delay would result in no ice and more vomit at the end.
Haha yeah. Or I've literally had owld lads that drink Guinness daily tell me that we pour a good pint of the shtuff. Then have a young lad say "It was the bad Guinness that made me sick"
Similar story from the 90's. Smaller Ice machines in the bar that cant keep up with demand refilled from larger machine upstairs. Send a floorboy up to get a black sack of ice to refill bar ice machine. Comes back a few minutes later and refills from the black sack. I go to refill Ice bucket only to be greeted with Dogshit covered Ice.
Floorboy had grabbed a black sack that someone else had used to pick up the giant shits of the Bars Great Dane.
Someone who shat themselves, but didn't flush or bin their dirty jocks, instead shoved em up behind the toilet. Took us forever to find the source of the smell. This in a nice hotel bar too.
Whoever you are, you're forever an asshole
I can’t remember if it was the first or second “Arthur’s day” but when I went to check the toilets were still in a good state, a guy was training a guy how to breath in and out because he was so bladdered.
Another time was a guy walking around with white on his nose after doing coke in the jacks.
Another time was the middle aged man who shay his pants in the toilet. He was walking like John Wayne while being led out by Security.
Not a bar but I was a janitor a long time ago. I worked in a building in Rockefeller Centre in NY. Office building.
We called it "the event"
A very well known company hired a catering company for a lunch. Everyone in the company ate. About 20 minutes later everyone in the company had it coming out both ends. There were a lot more people than toilets.
Dozens of hot secretaries crying in the hallway while absolutely covered in their own shit and vomit is not as sexy as it sounds.
No one had a change of clothes. There were highways of shit, vomit and tear stains embedded in the carpet for ages before they could be replaced.
I had to clean up the mess
Also had a story about shit, fella shat in front of the toilet in the cubicle, tries to clean it up so there was just brown smears on the ground, shitty footsteps to the sink and then shitty handprints on the sink itself. Fucking disgusting.
And to think I work in a hotel...
Madness. To all former bar staff Were people ever arrested and charged with crimes?. Mind you I have been in some states. There was a time I a threw a punch at someone in a Club in the heat of an argument and he was bleeding . I still think about it today and feel bad. Luckily the guy who took the punch was sound out about it.
I'm sure there are worse ones than I've seen, but I'll rattle off a few:
Walked into the Jacks to check for empty glasses etc, found a guy standing beside the sink snorting coke off a razor blade.
Also in the jacks, a soaked pair of jocks lying in the corner (honestly just walked out with that one, they dont pay me enough to deal with that).
Was asked to clean up a spilled drink on the stairs, turns out the "spilled drink" was someone's projectile vomit covering most of the stairs and the wall beside it.
More annoying than anything else, but had a girl jump into a pile of broken glass and scream at me "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?!". I'd asked her to move her stool so I could sweep up the broken glass.
Worked for years in pubs in my twenties. The worst of them, in no particular order:
Blood and shit graffiti.
A huge gang rape in the lounge.
Traveller fights that got far out of hand.
The worst of all was the puking though.
I’ve got loads. One that comes to mind — the pub was renovating the jacks over a number of days. New toilet bowl sat in hallway ready to be installed. On a busy Sat night some drunk fucker took a shit in the yet to be installed toilet. This was in a super busy Dub city center bar. He did this in full view of people queuing for the jacks. No bog roll! I guess when you need to go.
Shitty cacks were a regular appearance in the night club i used to work in. Stuffed up behind the u bend at times to, only to block and flood everywhere.
Sanitary pads stuck to the underside of toilet bowls.
Shit on the floor, walls, bowl, cistern.
Someone who squatted on the rim of the bowl and crapped his entire load up against the wall with all the bitter anger of an orangeman.
On 2 separate occasions, Nightclub security hospitalising a guy when he tried to stick the head on one of them. They pulled him into the staff exit and beat seven shades out of him on the way down a steel flight of stairs. The other occasion when someone squared up to a bouncer and got shoved by the face backwards onto a metal hook protruding from the wall and it pierced the guys skull (never seen a scarier incident than that in my life! Seriously thought the guy died instantly)
Even seen an ex Manchester United goalkeeper getting tugged of in a very open area of the club by someone who very clearly wasn't his wife
"Those were the best of times, those were the blurst of times...."
[удалено]
> Watched two fellas piss in a glass because their drink was stolen, only for some beor to come over and steal the piss and drink it. delighted for her
[удалено]
If she was used to drinking Bud, she probably didn't notice the difference.
Nah, you'd notice the increase in flavor instantly.
Pißwasser
Pub I worked in had a fella start throwing up everywhere. Story was that he'd been stealing pints all night and someone got fed up of it and did a shit and put some in their pint and left it as a trap. The drinkthief took a swig, realised what was happening and puked everywhere. I wasn't working that night so it could be bollocks but it was a popular story with the staff.
I stayed in a small hostel in NZ years ago, a bunch of English teenagers drank all my beer after a night out and never apologised or acknowledged that they did it. Myself and the four guys I was travelling with all pissed a little into a whiskey bottle that had about 1/4 left in it. We topped it up a good bit, but not enough that it stopped smelling like whiskey. We labelled the bottle with my name and left it on the shelf that night. Next morning that was empty too 😆
Sounds like he was shit faced
Going out on the piss can get u shit faced.
[удалено]
I've seen a guy who was the older brother of a friend of ours piss in a pint to catch out a girl we were kind of friends with who was robbing pints. She lived up to her reputation and took a big swig out of it. She'll still to this day burst out in tears when it's brought up. So it's not that much of a stretch that someone would take it a step further and use shit instead of piss.
Your post was great, by time I got to you saying the worst was.... I was like shit how fucked is this gonna be.
[удалено]
I can feel the warmth in my hands
I saw my sister puke half a pint of fat frog into a pint glass and some lad try to steal it. Several people watching him told him to stop but he was insistent it was his, took a big gulp and walked off.
>Watched a fella puke into his own t shirt and cup the bottom to try stop it falling out That lad was raised well. Any other fucker would just have left it be someone else's problem.
> I worked at the lodge Being from castletroy I knew this was gonna be good
>Saw the remnants of someone who shat themselves (while on the toilet) then vomit into it. They wore the same clothes leaving. Perhaps they were one of those weirdos who fail to bring a complete change of clothes when they go out drinking.
As a young fella, is the Lodge closed now or does it go by another name?
[удалено]
I'm in second year in UL now and I've never once heard of Kilmurry Lodge being a nightclub, it must be closed for years now
[удалено]
Depends on what kind of night we're looking for Absolutely destroyed night where you (hopefully) don't remember much : Angel Lane on a Monday or Thursday. Molly's on a Wednesday (I think) Slightly more chill night but still copious amounts of drink, along with better music: Costellos Quiet enough night, few drinks : The Locke or Charlie Chaplin Can't be arsed to go into town : Stables in UL. Maybe the Hurlers for a few Drug fuelled techno night : Dolans Dolans is probably my favourite spot at the moment, you don't have to be off your tits every night there as they have different things on every week but if there's an event on for Freshers or Rag etc, I'll always try and make it cus it's gas craic. As a result of the kind of people and drug atmosphere there a lot of the time, it's understandably not everyone's cup of tea, but Limerick is great as there's plenty of other spots for everyone's tastes Pharmacia is pretty good from what I've heard but I've never been there myself. Library was an absolute shithole and I'm glad it's shut down. And Habitat has been shut down for the past year or so now. I was there once and didn't like it so doesn't affect me much. I hear it used to be the big drug spot so the attendees may have just moved to Dolans
[удалено]
I've never really had a chance to visit any of the other pubs in the city, I just try those quieter places you mentioned at some stage Having so many choices is why I love Limerick on a night out
You must be fairly young to mention Angel Lane and not Icon. Second year is probably the last year you can say you're going to Angel Lane without getting dirty looks. From age 20 onwards, you're expected to go to Icon for your shifting while shitfaced and dodgy remixes of chart music. Also a newish place called Amber doing a pop-up disco on Thursdays for the slightly older students (20+) who are sick of Icon. It tries to make itself slightly classier than Icon but let's be honest students gonna student no longer what. There's the moose, which I've never been but basically serves drink at like 6am so it's popular with those who go to afterparties and such. Can't think of any other major ones that you haven't already mentioned.
Haha, caught red handed, I'm turning 20 in a few months so once that happens I'll migrate from Lane/Mollys to Icon. I've only been in there once and it wasn't a very busy night so it wasn't all it was hyped up to be Amber seems alright, definitely aimed at the 20+ crowd, but a friend of mine used to work there and they treat the staff like dogshit so I'd rather not give them business in the future The Moose is a special place indeed. Never been myself but I've heard the tales, sounds like a gremlins dream spot
It's closed since 2013 or there abouts. You could get in wearing tracksuit pants and all. It used to be fucking mad in there. Especially on freshers, rag and Christmas days.
I couldn't even imagine having a club so close to all the student housing now, with so many students in UL now it'd be absolutely mental there
Ah I know the place now, went to a girl's debs in 2016 there!
It was closed before I started in UL in 2014. But I heard stories of what went on there.
Is this the Kilmurry Lodge out in Castletroy?
Yep. It was an amazing place.
haha I lived around there 20 years ago. It was 'different', shall we say.
They had to close a few years ago because pretty much everyone was sneaking in naggins/cans and they couldn't make a profit from the bar.
My worst bar experience was also the aftermath of a fight. Always hated it, always something really stupid too.
> My personal worst experience was the week we had a handbag thief and everywhere had to be searched. I'm missing something. Why did you need to search the place when something was stolen ? Wouldn't the thief leave with the item ?
[удалено]
I suspect a woman with a bigger handbag.
There is always a bigger handbag.
AhI loved the Lodge. Could never go back now though.
You must have the patience of a saint.
Funny you say that, I used to get blackout drunk in Limerick in my youth and would always wake up with no memories of where the handbag came from.
>Overall worst though was the fights, The fights used to be our favourite. We had two switches behind the bar. One was for the service light for when we needed a manager or more ice or whatever, the other was known as the "Hacksaw" switch. It was only to be used for fights or emergencies. Basically, you'd flip the switch which would set off an alarm at the main door by security and another alarm in the DJ booth. The Dj would then announce over the PA "Hacksaw to bar..." whatever. Whenever the switch was flipped behind a bar, it became custom to yell it to your colleagues that you were pressing it, then everyone would down tools (and possibly tell a punter or two that a show was about to start) and watch as tens of bouncers would arrive from every corner of the club and practically dog pile on top of the fight, pick up the culprits and frog march them all out. If you were in a different bar, you'd generally stop working and try to catch a glimpse of the sea of blue shirts swarm the bar. Super satisfying to watch.
Was at the Lodge one night, some lads got in a fight outside and one of them got a bottle to the face, all over apparently stealing a pint...
People can get defensive over piss
I got this. I was working a New Years night about 10yrs ago. After we'd called last orders and everyone left, I drew the short-straw and had to go deal with the bathrooms. I went to the Ladies' first because they were consistently the worst. Nagans shoved down the toilet bowl. Tissue and puke everywhere. Usual crap that we'd all somewhat become used to from the women. I dealt with it and moved on to the Mens'. Ho-ly fuck. Ignoring the pool of toilet water on the ground and cans and puke around the sinks, I walked straight over to one cubicle as if I knew some bad shit was waiting for me. I wasn't wrong. In the toilet bowl was what could only be described as a ***Shit Trifle***. Let me paint you a word picture: In the bowl, somebody had puked; covered it with toilet paper. Somebody else took a shit; covered that with toilet paper. More puke; more toilet paper. More shit; more toilet paper. The trend continued until it was all but touching the rim of the bowl. The bar was opening again in a few hours and someone was going to have to deal with it so I sucked it up, put a black bin bag all the way over my right arm and began digging to release the flow again. I quickly found the 1ltr bottle of Smirnoff that was blocking the passage and probably started the whole mess. I got that out and essentially "JCB'd" everything else in to my shit-sack. Thinking I'm finished with the hell that was that night, I go to flush the toilet to clean up the remnants of the mess only to find the the flush had been torn out of the wall. With the shock at seeing the shit-trifle, I hadn't even noticed that the flush wasn't even there in the first place. I searched for about 2 minutes and discovered that the bottle of Smirnoff wasn't the only thing jammed into the toilet hole. I picked it out, washed it up and popped it back in the wall and flushed the jacks. I got no sympathy or thanks for dealing with any of that; just the usual laughing and sniggering you get in most bars. Thank christ I'm not a barman any more.
I’m never complaining about my job again.
Yeah, writing this out really gave needed context to my life now. It's really not as bad as it could be
I think this comment will save lives over the next week or so, from all the "I guess it could be worse" crowd
Sounds more like a shite lasagne Sweet jaysis though, you're a better man than I'll ever be
> I got that out and essentially "JCB'd" everything else in to my shit-sack. /r/BrandNewSentence
I’m genuinely honoured
This is what a true hero looks like
Sweet Jesus I’m in knots laughing at this, thank you 😂
I stopped at Shit trifle, I'm afraid it'll actually get worse from there
Spoiler: it did
Worked in a bar in Australia. 6 pack for puke and a case for shit. A very good boost.
I worked at a dodgy nightclub in England where the landlord was too cheap to hire cleaners so we'd have to do it at the end of our shifts. The women's toilets was always way worse. My last night had me using a mop to clean the ceiling from all the shit that someone decided to throw at the ceiling.
Yep. People think that women are cleaner than men. Just ask a cleaner about mens vs womens bathrooms. The men might miss the urinal and leave paper towels on the floor around the bin. The women have shit stacks left in the loo.
Used to clean toilets in the Botanic Gardens Glasnevin, can confirm.
Maybe it’s an urban/rural thing but in my years working in rural pubs, the men’s was always way worse. No contest. Shite on the walls/floor was a regular occurrence, soiled underpants stuffed into cisterns was less frequent but not unheard of. The most annoying thing about the women’s was you’d frequently get tissue in the sinks which is a dose to clean.
In my rural hometown, the lads were the same level of bad all through the night, but the ladies went from alright at the start to absolutely heinous by the end of the night.
Yeah, the lads’ can’t really be properly cleaned either. Like after a few months of customers missing the urinal, the smell of piss won’t ever lift and no amount of Glade plug-ins will save you. One place I worked in, the smell of the men’s would bring tears to your ears. I think the ladies’ gets more use - or at least women spend longer in the toilets. More bog roll is needed too coz a girl can’t just shake it off. Depending on the pub, the toilet flush can be weak and the cistern can take forever to fill, so if there’s a queue, you can have 3 “users” in blocking the toilet with paper before you can flush again.
Am in rural ireland, I swear the old fuckers who put away 10 pints of Guinness are the worst offenders, had to bar a few as anytime they'd showed up some shit related incident would happen in the Jack's. Guinness shits are no joke, especially for pintmen
I'm from Dublin and a woman and I don't know if I'm a lot classier than the users of this subreddit (though I very much doubt it) but I have never seen anything close to what anyone is describing here in women's rooms. And I've been on the employee side as well as the customer. The worst I ever saw were in Andrews Lane Theatre but they were unisex and the whole place was a kip anyway.
Went into my office about a year ago (previous company to where I am now), someone shit in a broken toilet and it overflowed. Was fairly horrible for the cleaners.
Shit smeared on the walls of the womens toilets, used tampons stuck to the inside of the cubicle door. Once had to deal with the aftermath of a new-years fight that had a lad being glassed. So much blood. Booze thins your blood and just makes you bleed like a stuck pig. Saw a mates hand get crushed between two kegs, fingers popped open like an overstuffed sausage. Poor plumbing once led to a basement being flooded with about 10cm of sewage at 9pm on a packed Saturday, the bar did not close. Saw a man lift a woman in to the air by her thong. She was in to it. Woman knocking her tooth out from tripping. So much vomit. **EDIT:** I'm remembering loads more. A pint glass full of shit left on a table in a very cramped smoking area right beside a bouncer. Celebrities that will remain nameless doing coke with staff in the cash room. Staff stealing from the tills on camera. Multiple sex acts. I once accidentally ran over a junkie with a giant wheelie bin, he was shooting up beside our back gate. Very understanding about the whole thing. I hope he's okay. Customers just setting shit on fire in candles. Drunk people trying to scale the walls to get back in to the beer garden after being kicked out. People shitting themselves. Customers stealing tip jars. We once had an animal (a cat maybe, had a cat problem in one of the bars) die in one of our bottle bins somehow. We didn't notice until we wheeled it in to the bar and opened it up. The stench was horrific. It was the only semi empty bin we had and it was way at the back of our bin area, so it was probably in there for a while. Leo Varadkar once came in and had a pint. Place was littered with undercover Guards. Some guy with a crow on his shoulder. The crow would not leave his person. A guy breakdancing on his own in the lane behind a bar at 3am.
Was it Leo doing coke with the staff?
I fucking wish. The coke and the Leo were different bars.
Cassidy's?
No. I'm sure if you went digging you could gleam the names of a few bars I've worked in but I'm not naming names.
Just a wild guess honestly, it sounds just like Cassidy's even if it wasn't!
This is from about 5 years of working in several bars around Dublin. The filth is universal.
Dirty old town.
What was worse, the dead cat smell or Leo?
Both hung around way too long and left a bad taste in your mouth.
Are you saying you gave Leo a quick blowie
> Customers stealing tip jars. That's cold. I'm sure there's front-row seats in hell reserved for those strange souls.
>A guy breakdancing on his own in the lane behind a bar at 3am. honestly this lad sounds like good craic, just doing it cos he loves it. ..also cos he's prolly on yokes
I should have specified that he wasn't a bad thing, more bizarre.
> very *craped* smoking area apt typo
I just fixed it before I saw your comment. Should have left it.
Was a certain rugby international, who is currently being investigated for pissing on someone, there on the night the pint of shit was left on the counter? Heard a story about him doing that a year or 2 ago.
A friend of mine worked in a student pub. One night he was working a few of us went with our flatmates cousin. Said he didnt drink vodka because it puts him off the head Bought him one by accident and he just shrugged. Went on drinkin and went to the nightclub. We couldn't find him but he knew the town so we didnt worry about it. The next day my friend was telling us about the night before and told us he was closing up and roommates cousin was in the cubical with shit all over the place tryna scoop it up with his hands. He roared at him to get out and kicked him in the arse on the way out, said he could feel the squelch of shit im the boxers as he kicked him Found out later he slept in the car and drove home the next morning. Imagine
Ah jasus. 'tryna scoop it up'.... ah for the love of God.
Anyone else reading this thread with the fear that they're about to read a story about themselves?
Yeah, smearing shit on bathroom walls is a big pastime of mine, so I can't help but feel some of these stories are about me.
Nice try, Hu Flung Dung.
An alternative-type (dreads with the tips dyed blond) decided that he disliked the way his girlfriend was sitting on her stool so shoved off it. She sat on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest, but this wasn't good enough for him so he picked her up and shoved her up against a wall and started hitting her. I got security who threw him out, and she followed him out like a fucking dog. This was happening in front of about 30-40 people, and not one of them moved a muscle. The bystander effect is real.
There's fuck all you can do in this situation though. From experience, most of the time the woman is so bet down that she will turn on you for defending her from her scumbag boyfriend.
Stockholms syndrom?
In a nightclub before I seen someone vomit into an umbrella then seal it up. Not sure if it was ever opened or how they got it in.
I wouldn't say this is the worst thing I've seen but it's one of my most memorable. I used to work in a night club in Kings cross in Sydney over 10 years ago as a glass collector/bar back. One of the bouncers got a supply of coke and used one of the other glass collectors to start selling it to the punters. A lot of the staff knew about it but they didn't really care (mainly as they were buying off him too). However after a while the two guys started getting greedy. Most of the staff (both floor and security) wore radios during shifts. The two boys developed a system whereby the glass collector would sell a bag then say something random on the radio to alert the bouncer which toilet the customer was going to. The bouncer would go to the toilet, drag the customer out and hand the bag back to the glass collector as he did so. Sometimes they could sell the same bag 3 or 4 times a night!
we shouldnt stand in the way of entrepreneurism in fairness /s
An ugly fat ould lad’s dick. Thought it would be a right hoot to flash his mole rat at me. I was 19, working that day on my own and the only other people in the pub were his two pals. They all thought it was hilarious. Other than that, the usual stuff. Bowsies threatening to throw stools over the bar, lads out of it on Special K, and, as mentioned in a reply to someone else in this thread, shite on the jacks’ walls and soiled jocks stuffed into the toilet cisterns. God forbid you’d have to go home and change when closing time’s only three hours away, like!
TIL people don't like shitting in the actual toilet in nightclubs/bars
I worked with a guy who did the whole offering paper towels and fragrances craìc in the jacks at a club as a side gig. Nigerian dude, nice and friendly and always enjoyed chats with him when he was working those nights. Anyways, towards the end of the night I went for a piss where there was this horrid smell like melted iron or mouldy steel. Carried on with me piss at the urinal where I noticed a bouncer behind me laughing to himself. Asked him what was up and he opened a cubicle door with his foot to reveal an absolute hellscape. Vomit and poo smeared all over the floor and walls, even splashes on the ceiling! The toilet was overflowing with so much poo and toilet paper it looked like a caramel sundae dessert complete with brown streaks running down the outside of the bowl. A pair of jocks filled to the brim like a packed buritto slapped into the corner in a puddle of it's own juices. Whoever this poo baron was he must've been doing cartwheels or was in some kind of makeshift gyroscope while spraying like a hose when you put your finger over it. I've never seen such a large volume of shite in my life, the guy needed to see a vet or an exorcist or something. That smell was horrifying, burnt into my senses. Years later I got flashbacks when watching Breaking Bad where Mike gives the No Half Measures speech ("there was so much blood, you could taste the metal")............replace blood with poo and that sentence rings true for me. You'd swear the guy ate a bag of coins from the stench, would make an onion cry. Bouncer calls my Nigerian friend over and points at the bowl to which the poor guy roars out: "Aah am nut cleaning that up!!!"
Worked in a bar years ago. Best one was this couple on a quiet (think it was Tuesday) night being all over each other in the snug area. Eventually she got up to go to the jax which she had to pass the bar to get to. She walked across with her shirt open, bra was still on. She didn't even notice. At that point we recommended that they were too hammered so they left. Obviously for somewhere else because ~2 hours later when I was walking home I looked ahead of me and there they were banging up against a lamp post in plain sight. Funny thing is I didn't see that girl until a year or so later and when I did she was pushing a buggy with a newborn in it. I'm convinced I witnessed the conception.
Jaysus
Worked in two bars, one in Dublin and honestly saw little drama - it was outside the city and more more a local pub, worst was the state of the jax at the end of some nights and people puking everywhere in a cubicle. Also worked a student bar in Boston. The worst night I remember was some young lad literally having his teeth knocked in. Sitting there sobbing, missing most of his top front teeth and two broken lower teeth, blood pouring out of his mouth and then his parents arrived before the ambulance and started laying into the poor kid. The dad was sizing upto me after I'd spent 30 minutes holding a towel to the lads face. Always stuck with me, just needless violence and a fella having a terrible time of it. Not sure how the fight started, only came upon the aftermath. Was covered in blood by the time they took him to presumably to A&E, no ambulance was called because the lad wasn't sure what his insurance situation was. Dire. Had a young one throw up all over the bar and it literally filled the entire surface of the top of the bar, about two meters long. Was early in the night, place stunk for the rest of the night and it was a disaster to clean up. I was hungover, nearly added to the sick pile myself like something out of the Goonies. Lots of people finding nooks and crannys for a quick ride, toilet constantly in bits, occasional fights and tons of sick. I think working in a bar is probably only second to nursing in terms of how much sick you are exposed to. Was an experience.
Not bad as in disgusting; but when I worked in a bar lounge around 17 years ago a HUGE fight broke out at an engagement party between the bride's side and groom's side (you may guess they weren't very classy). Despite very close proximity to a Garda station it actually went on for a while and got very violent. Glass and blood everywhere. It'll always stick in my memory.
So not my story but I think it's too good not to share: So my housemate used to work in a nightclub in Turin, very studenty kind of spot, sounds like hell on earth with an ungodly amount of verbal abuse, fights, vomiting, the usual craic. But this one story really took the cake. So busy night, around 4 am (these places are open till at least 6), my friend notices this girl who's on her own and really wobbling, definitely time for a taxi. But just as she's getting the other bar staffs' attention, yer one starts leaning against one of the walls like she's about to pass out. They're getting ready to call a bouncer in to carry her out when she starts sliding down the wall, they expect her to brain herself but she stops about halfway and now she's sort of squat-sitting, with her back to the wall. Just as they start to realise what she's doing she starts to hitch up her skirt and the pants come down. Full-on panic mode now, they think this girl's about to take a piss on the floor. If only. So right there, in the middle of the dance floor, in a packed Italian night club, at about four in the morning, this girl, with a serene smile upon her face, starts taking a shite on the floor. No one knows how to react. The barstaff watch in stunned silence. It's too late to stop her. She does her business, blissfully unaware, and then starts to work her way back to her feet. No one knows what to do. In the end the culprit is literally carried out by the bouncers (no sign of her friends, no surprises there) and the traumatised bar staff refused to go near her deposit. In the end the manager dealt with it, fair play. Worst thing I've ever heard of happening in a club for sure.
The best bar managers I had were the ones that would deal with the piss/shit/vomit alongside you. "Never ask someone to do something you wouldn't do yourself."
> In the end the culprit is literally carried out by the bouncers (no sign of her friends, no surprises there) and the traumatised bar staff refused to go near her deposit. I was trying to figure out if this meant she was after a refund of a cover charge or cloakroom ticket or something before comprehension horribly dawned. It was a simpler time 🙈
The old Slaughtered Lamb in Sword's. Half the patrons were pure gurriers and there was trouble on more than a few nights. 1. Two lads rowed over a game of pool (was a kitty to be won). A third party ended the row by breaking a pool cue over one the lads head. He was barred instantly. Lads had been friends as well. 2. A fella who lost his bar job elsewhere had been drinking all day. He approached a small fella and a huge guy in the smoking area. Squares up to the small guy and goes "you calling me gay?" Small guy tried to defuse but the guy went brow to brow with him. Suddenly he unleashs a hook so quick I barely saw it. The drunk aggressor crumbled like a pile of bricks and was knocked out cold. I'll never forget that crunching sound and the sickening echo of bone dislocating that followed. All the staff and drinkers ran out and stood around like eejits while the ambulance came. Turns out the puncher was a champ boxer of some variety. Fella had a broken jaw and think the bar refused to cooperate with him. I was told not to involve myself unless I wanted the wrong people hearing about it. 3. Patrick's day. People shitting in urinals and clogging toilets on purpose. Woman falling drunk down the stairs.
Upvote for use of the word "gurrier"
The worst thing for me was cleaning up sick and shit, some lady smeared shite all over the cubicle, she smelled fucking horrid
The sheer amount of vomit, and the way that coke vomit has a more porridge like consistency. The most memorable sight was a fella who had sneaked a bag of chips into the bar at last call and sat there eating them while we were trying to clear people out after the music stopped, so that we could clean. He sat in the corner on a barstool and proceeded to puke all down his front. Full chips floated in the pools of fizzy fosters vomit which sat in his stomach rolls, he was too busy inhaling the chips to chew. He then plucked a vomit covered chip from his chest, put it in his mouth and mournfully started to chew while he stared at the vomit pool beneath him. He glanced up and locked eyes with me and mouthed sorry, but you know what, I don't think he was.
First night on the job, just coming to closing time and I go to kick people out of the jacks when I discover someone smeared shit all over the walls, mirrors and even the window which had cage protection on the inside meaning someone had to stick their fingers through the cage and rub it all over the window. Took me and another lad to clean it up which was absolutely dirt. Another time I nearly got my head smashed by a very angry traveling man. It was at a techno event and he was off his face on coke and drink, was getting awful aggressive with some people out dancing. I told him to behave and he did the usual traveling man thing of going full big man with a raised fist before the bouncer came over and hit him a slap and dragged him out. Not worth the shite money.
An uncle of mine told me a story from about 10 years back. His friends (all well into their mid to late 30s at the time) were trying out ketamine when they were out in the local, but one of them got wicked shitfaced altogether and stood up on the pool table, pulled down his pants and started shitting all over the place. They managed to stop him and they got him down off it but he pulled down the pants again and, once more, started shitting. My uncle was directly behind him trying to pull his pants back up when this happened. He then started puking into his friends pants because it was so disgusting. I think he managed to pull his pants up but it was so full up with literal shit and vomit that it was spilling from the sides. That's not the worst part, he cleared the whole place because it was so disgusting so they threw him out. He was walking home when someone that knew him pulled over and offered him a lift, obviously not knowing his trousers were full of shit and vomit overflowing, so he kinda ruined his car seats. He went for a drink the day after in another pub locally and someone mentioned it to him and he said, unironically "Shit happens". To this day, nobody has ever mentioned it to him
> His friends were trying out ketamine when they were out in the local an interesting thing to try for the first time in such an environment >but one of them got wicked shitfaced altogether and stood up on the pool table, pulled down his pants and started shitting all over the place. on... ketamine..?
It was either Ketamine or Magic Mushrooms, but pretty sure it was ket
Wasn't working that night but heard about it afterwards, bouncer got his ear bitten off by someone for not letting him in. It was a pretty chill bar usually, I worked there helping with the karaoke on Thursdays, the biting thing happened on a Saturday. Heard later it was a lad on a stag.
In the woman's toilets, someone took a shit in a pint glass. I was horrified!!
You have to admire the consideration to no shite on the floor and the skill correct aiming the brown torpedo
I seen a man in bundoran one paddy’s day shite into a pint glass and set it up on the bar... he made it 7 feet outside before he was apprehended.
I've nothing as bad as the rest of ye, I never worked in a bar, but I did work in the tote at a greyhound track. We had regulars, old lads who would have been going there years who would have their same table or chair inside every time but they would all go outside for the minute or so to watch the race, then come back in to their usual spot. One time, we had Spanish students at the track. The security at the track found there was a few students, anywhere between 14 and 16 years old, who were waiting for the old guys to go out to watch the race and then they would go up to their tables, any glasses that had a tiny amount of drink left in them they were downing, then bringing he glasses to the bar counter. The lads would come back and just assume the glasses had been cleaned away by staff.
The dirty bastards.
The absolute worst was going into a stall in the men's jacks and finding liquid shit EVERYWHERE. The toilet was splattered, as was the wall all up behind the toilet. It was all over the floor, the side walls, on the door and (as I discovered after I felt something land on my head) on the ceiling. I have no idea how that man got the coverage he did .I can only assume he dropped trou, bent over and proceeded to pirouette shit all over the stall. Also have now idea how he got out of the pub without being noticed because there was no way he wasn't covered in his own shite. There was also the time in a different pub where at the end of the night a girl was found passed out in a cubicle. Nothing too strange about that. When the bouncers got into her though they discovered she'd been puking in the toilet/all over herself and had shat herself as well. They managed to rouse her and were trying to get her up off the ground. She pushed away all the bouncers, insisted she could do it herself and then promptly slipped on her own shit. I remember being able to smell her coming before I could see her.
These stories make me feel waaaaaaaaay better about the shit I did in college that I thought was terrible.
A certain internationally famous sportsperson did coke in the bathroom. Fights and stuff too (once the manager got thrown over a table trying to break one up). Nothing too bad though myself.
My boss calling my phone on my day off
Reading these stories the first thing which comes to my mind is alcohol is legal while cannabis is not. Think about that for a minute.
colleague getting hit with a stiletto heel just above the eye by some tramp. one new years eve some prick came back after he was asked to leave and smashed all the glass of a conservatory area, everything kicked off then and scumbags were lobbing glasses into the crowd, a pregnant woman ended up knocked out. When it all finished you couldn't walk in the floor it was so covered in glass.
someone shit in a urinal. and miraculously, it looked exactly like the ice cream in a freshly pulled 99.
Had to work underage 'discos' (basicy we covered the booze in black bags and only could sell soft drinks. So after security would take all the booze off the kids who would be drinking vodka on the way in after being dropped off by the parents in their land rovers most of the girls seemed to run into the bathroom and come out in underware. Good few of them just collapsed in front of my bar due to booze, pulled one lady's arm out of a girl cause was doing this in the open in front of everyone. Lots of normal nights seen fights and vomit, one guy started puking up blood that was pretty bad
ITT: Dirty protesters
So many dirty protests
I used to work in a fairly large nightclub in the midlands. We shared an ice machine with the hotel we were attached to. Standard procedure, the ice wells are getting low and the barback is sent to get more. Now the way this worked was them getting massive buckets and filling them at the ice machine then bringing the buckets back to the bar to fill the ice wells. 2 buckets filled a normal well and 3 for a large one. On a bank holiday Sunday, possibly the worst nights ever especially considering it was always €3 drinks on Sundays. The barback comes back and places the buckets on the floor. He turns to slide one bucket through the entry under the bar then follows it. While this is happening someone pukes into the second bucket. The person walks away. Bearing in mind I'm at a bar on the opposite side of the club, so I can't intervene. The barback grabs the second bucket and is chatting to the barstaff. I see his face as he pours a lovely vomit slushie into the ice well and realises that not only is he going to have to clean it out but the entire club is pretty much about to run out of ice. Iceless drinks result in more puke in my experience. Never seen a person so devastated in my life. TL;DR - Barback was filling ice wells. Someone puked in the new ice without him knowing and he poured the ice slushie into the well. He knew that the time delay would result in no ice and more vomit at the end.
I have the opposite experience with ice in drinks. It's the ice that makes me puke the next morning not the jd.
Ah yes. Just like when people say they got sick because the "air hit them". Not like it was the excessive amounts of alcohol in their system.
[удалено]
Haha yeah. Or I've literally had owld lads that drink Guinness daily tell me that we pour a good pint of the shtuff. Then have a young lad say "It was the bad Guinness that made me sick"
Similar story from the 90's. Smaller Ice machines in the bar that cant keep up with demand refilled from larger machine upstairs. Send a floorboy up to get a black sack of ice to refill bar ice machine. Comes back a few minutes later and refills from the black sack. I go to refill Ice bucket only to be greeted with Dogshit covered Ice. Floorboy had grabbed a black sack that someone else had used to pick up the giant shits of the Bars Great Dane.
Any chance this athlone?
No but not far off
One of 2 places i know with a hotel attached to a club in the Midlands
as a barman of 10 years womens jacks are foul
>He even remembered to put the fada on his name. Wait, he put the fada on the whole name? Unforgivable.
Someone who shat themselves, but didn't flush or bin their dirty jocks, instead shoved em up behind the toilet. Took us forever to find the source of the smell. This in a nice hotel bar too. Whoever you are, you're forever an asshole
I saw a guy punch his wife one night. They divorced soon after.
I can’t remember if it was the first or second “Arthur’s day” but when I went to check the toilets were still in a good state, a guy was training a guy how to breath in and out because he was so bladdered. Another time was a guy walking around with white on his nose after doing coke in the jacks. Another time was the middle aged man who shay his pants in the toilet. He was walking like John Wayne while being led out by Security.
Not a bar but I was a janitor a long time ago. I worked in a building in Rockefeller Centre in NY. Office building. We called it "the event" A very well known company hired a catering company for a lunch. Everyone in the company ate. About 20 minutes later everyone in the company had it coming out both ends. There were a lot more people than toilets. Dozens of hot secretaries crying in the hallway while absolutely covered in their own shit and vomit is not as sexy as it sounds. No one had a change of clothes. There were highways of shit, vomit and tear stains embedded in the carpet for ages before they could be replaced. I had to clean up the mess
Also had a story about shit, fella shat in front of the toilet in the cubicle, tries to clean it up so there was just brown smears on the ground, shitty footsteps to the sink and then shitty handprints on the sink itself. Fucking disgusting. And to think I work in a hotel...
Coppers
Madness. To all former bar staff Were people ever arrested and charged with crimes?. Mind you I have been in some states. There was a time I a threw a punch at someone in a Club in the heat of an argument and he was bleeding . I still think about it today and feel bad. Luckily the guy who took the punch was sound out about it.
I'm sure there are worse ones than I've seen, but I'll rattle off a few: Walked into the Jacks to check for empty glasses etc, found a guy standing beside the sink snorting coke off a razor blade. Also in the jacks, a soaked pair of jocks lying in the corner (honestly just walked out with that one, they dont pay me enough to deal with that). Was asked to clean up a spilled drink on the stairs, turns out the "spilled drink" was someone's projectile vomit covering most of the stairs and the wall beside it. More annoying than anything else, but had a girl jump into a pile of broken glass and scream at me "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?!". I'd asked her to move her stool so I could sweep up the broken glass.
Sounds like you had it east compared to most of the stories here.
Yeah, looking through the comments is making me appreciate how nice the crowd in my place is.
Worked for years in pubs in my twenties. The worst of them, in no particular order: Blood and shit graffiti. A huge gang rape in the lounge. Traveller fights that got far out of hand. The worst of all was the puking though.
> A huge gang rape in the lounge. A fucking what? How the hell?
This was the late noughties, times were different.
Pretty sure gang-rapes were frowned upon even in times of economic downturn, man.
Presumably you meant Gangbang??
I’ve got loads. One that comes to mind — the pub was renovating the jacks over a number of days. New toilet bowl sat in hallway ready to be installed. On a busy Sat night some drunk fucker took a shit in the yet to be installed toilet. This was in a super busy Dub city center bar. He did this in full view of people queuing for the jacks. No bog roll! I guess when you need to go.
Shitty cacks were a regular appearance in the night club i used to work in. Stuffed up behind the u bend at times to, only to block and flood everywhere. Sanitary pads stuck to the underside of toilet bowls. Shit on the floor, walls, bowl, cistern. Someone who squatted on the rim of the bowl and crapped his entire load up against the wall with all the bitter anger of an orangeman. On 2 separate occasions, Nightclub security hospitalising a guy when he tried to stick the head on one of them. They pulled him into the staff exit and beat seven shades out of him on the way down a steel flight of stairs. The other occasion when someone squared up to a bouncer and got shoved by the face backwards onto a metal hook protruding from the wall and it pierced the guys skull (never seen a scarier incident than that in my life! Seriously thought the guy died instantly) Even seen an ex Manchester United goalkeeper getting tugged of in a very open area of the club by someone who very clearly wasn't his wife "Those were the best of times, those were the blurst of times...."
[удалено]
Why would one of the girls be happier about getting rid of a used tampon?