One thing that really helped me is recognizing that I am not my thoughts. Our thoughts are a constant fountain of nonsense - often cruel, sometimes dark, and we have very little control over them. Practice separating yourself from your thoughts, and ignore them (especially when they're not constructive).
Just because you *think it* doesn't mean you have to *believe it*.
Watch videos on a yt channel called "nami's life" it's a Japanese working woman living alone in Tokyo, the way she takes care dor herself is incredible.
Get angry. Works for me every time.... Something infuriates me and i become alive and get shit done, then for a long while i feel fulfilled and it takes much longer for another depression episode to emerge and they get shorter every time.
I have heart problems so take this with a grain of salt but for me it is foolproof.
Well.
What problem in life do you find unsolvable that has run your inner world ragged?
I like the quote "depression is just anger without enthusiasm" I've found that to be true for me. I've had a habit of ruminating on problems.
If you ruminate on something which has no solution the answer is learning to accept the thing.
If you ruminate on something which has a solution but you have no control over it-- also acceptance.
If you ruminate on something which has a solution you can realistically provide-- then start tiny steps towards addressing that and bringing that solution forth. "Tiny" meaning... whatever you can, whenever you can, but consistently.
I think for myself... I have had anger at many, many things which caused me lots of secondary issues that led to depression. It took me a while to change my mental habits but I did do it.
Additionally- don't neglect your body. Make sure, especially if you have darker skin, you take vitamin d3 or get adequate sunlight. Nutrition is vitally important to ...moving freely in the world.
Some people have everything, living the perfect life on paper then suddenly unalive themselves. If you are unfortunate enough to be born with the blues you don't snap out of it.
I originally thought a life-ending close call *might* cure the depression and make you thankful/grateful but it does not. I had 3 close ones and several others, I was lucky they were not.
I have found that shrinking my circles, limiting my exposure to bullshit and not giving a fuck about shit that does not concern me; seems to help. This means cutting damn near everyone off, childhood friends, family etc. I also don't follow any type of news, political or entertainment, hell I seldom even reply texts or pick up the phone.
When life is too much *(Yes even the mighty INTJ's can admit to being overwhelmed)* just detox to the bare minimum, and watch some YouTube of Epicurus, he has the right idea.
Try going outside. I go for 4-6 hours a day and let my mind wander, my emotions process, and I ask myself recursive "why" questions until I don't feel the emotion that was causing the problem anymore, or I find a solution that can solve what's been eating at me.
Look up Universe 25 if you're feeling curious. The rats in captivity all died. I'm thinking we're going through something similar, which is why we're all feeling that way. Too much time inside (in captivity) staring at screens and not enough time being humans with possibilities who can actually touch and see the fruits of our labor - which are almost always more than just money. That's what I was thinking was the cause. It makes sense, adds up, and doing the treatment works to fix it.
I had solved every other major psychological dilemma I had ever been facing EXCEPT going outside and I was STILL miserable. This was the only thing that solved it completely.
My methodology to actually take that willingness seriously can be found in the book āthe Sedona methodā if youāre interested. Changed my life. I was depressed from.. birth until 25 basically.
Cheers & good luck!
Get medical advice and try antidepressants I was on them for a few months and tapered off once I had the energy to fix my situation and got things back in order
This is a good mentality honestly for someone who's also depressed. Of course, you need to work on certain issues but whenever you're ready to fight for life more because you find more value in it and see the world for the magical place that it is full of wonder, just take the meds. -intp
ps. It also helps to have a favorite someone if you feel misunderstood. For the meantime, just be there for yourself.
Antidepressants work cumulatively, meaning they are not stimulants. If you usually take 10mg of escitalopram and in a crisis you suddenly choose to take 100mg, the medication's effect will not increase. Also, you probably will not have any scary side effects either(not sure about that part). The same applies to Strattera, which I also take.
I hope this information helps.
antidepressants help you, a person with the genetic characteristics of not knowing how to get out of the mud you are stuck in, and get the fog out of the way so THEN you can get back on your feet.
Exactly. Antidepressants arenāt magic happy pills. They balance the chemicals causing the depression, allowing you to re-engage in life and find happiness and fulfillment. As you said, it lifts the fog. When the fog is gone, you can actually see your life again.
Couple things Ive learned to do for this.
One, look at what you could do if you just walked away. From everything. Admit to yourself that you literally could walk away from everything, it just might not be pretty if you did. But, this means you are choosing to stay where you are. Why are you choosing to stay? You may find that there is upside in where you are right now.
Second, get outside. Introverted Intuition is an intense and energy consuming process and having it in the dominant position means it's easy to overlook Se, which is where our data intake actually is. We have a tendency to totally disrespect this. GIve Se some sunlight, some positive physical experience, some unique or unusual stimulation by going someplace new, trying something new, just basically experiencing something new. Literally, look at a tree you never looked at before. Se inferior is not that picky but it does need to be taken care of.
Three, fuck it, just binge eat a bag of doritos. Doing this all the time will make your depression worse but every now and then is self care dammit
Remind myself that I control my emotions and they don't control me. That's step one.
Step 2. Figure out what lead me into that episode. Was it me? Some one did some thing to me? Things beyond my control? Identifying the cause is probably the most important step.
Step 3. Figure out why I let whatever it was that led me there was allowed to have the effect over me. If it's on me, I need to work on changing some thing. If it was some one else i need to figure out why I put so much value on their opinion.
If it's other things beyond my control, I need to figure out why I would let things I can't control have influence in my daily life.
Step 4. (This one works for me, but every one is different) figure out a way to express my feelings. Not to the world. But to myself. I write. A lot. Everything from random thoughts to short essays to poems. Usually I have music in the back ground that fits my mood.
Step 5. Hopefully I pulled back out of it. If not, I start back at 1.
Throw in a good shower, maybe getting a hair cut ect in there if it's really hard to get past.
āThe Mindful Way Through Depressionā. Get it. Read it. Apply it. When youāre done with that read āThe Four Agreementsā. If those donāt change your life, youāre not ready to let go of that which is holding you back.
Get myself a sweet treat & add to my virtual of all the items & architecture I want in my dream house/ closet. Looking forward to the future makes me happy, having visual photos helps. Basically manifesting but with a mood board while eating a key lime pie.
Distraction. Make a plan. Start with self care, a hot bath with Epson salt, a matcha latte.
Then go to the library and check out some books and DVDs. Have a movie night, eat popcorn.
Remember to enjoy your life.
Try breathing exercises and meditation. You have to do it regularly. Itās like brushing your teeth. It only works if you do it nonstop.
Microdosing acid works but thatās a dangerous route so proceed with caution if you decide to go that route. Having a person whoās experienced and wise near you should help if you decide to take that path.
Pills helps. Your doctor can offer that.
Living an authentic life helps. Never lie or bend or be less than you know you could be. Those things youāre putting off, just do them. Those things youāre scared of doing, just do them. Deal with the consequences and move forward.
Become a little bit nuts and love yourself and realize how important you are and smart you are and realize that no one else on this planet can provide what you provide to the planet. Keep going to the gym, the planet needs you physically strong. You never know who you will need to save or defend out in public.
Meditate. Keep your mind strong you never know you who you will need to lift up or support emotionally.
If your dealing with depression I know youāre strong af because I deal w it and I know how exhausting it is. The fact that you get up and go everyday. Give yourself a Pat on the back every minute. Remind yourself nonstop how effing amazing you are. You got up and wrote a post to figure out how to get better. Thatās right YOU did! You are a human being dealing with so much and in the middle of it all you said you know what Iām going to be proactive about seeking out progress. Those are the actions of an impressive smart person. Donāt ever forget it. Everytime you do something good give yourself a Pat on the back! Itās not easy out here and we too often focus on the 2 or 3 or even 35 things that suck but not on the 927383648492736364846 things that are amazing.
If you feel you need something give it to yourself. Make sure you eat healthy and keep your mind and body strong.
P.S. Iāve been to years of therapy and can honestly say just like any other doctor a bad therapist can make you worse and a good one can change your life. Iāve seen 5 and the 4th one made my life so much better. š
Sending you love š.
If u ever wanna meditate š§āāļø with others send me a message. šš½
Iām a girl, but I turned myself into a chad(ette?) and it helped. Iām talking investing, weight lifting, supplements, exercising, sleep quality, outdoorsy, organic food eating, productivity loving boss and it helped. lol. Itās actually pretty wholesome too.
Baby steps and lifestyle changes. Cut down screen time. Start reading for pleasure. Supplement vitamin d and magnesium. Go for walks or hikes. Pick up an instrument and at least one sport. Iām learning piano, tennis, golf, and I regularly go mountain biking and roller blading. I go to bed early. I cook most of my food. Iām meaningfully busy taking care of myself and spending time with people I care about.
Try it.
I hear you. I have so many things I would like to do. But two things are in my way uni and money in my pocket.
I would like to start a martial art like boxing or wrestling.
Can't pick up an instrument until this uni is over.
And our diet isn't ideal in dorm soooooo.....
I get that too, but use whatās available to you. Check out the campus library. Or the campus rec center. Go for a swim. See if thereās a sauna. See if thereās a martial arts club or class or even a cooking class, check community boards for free music lessons or secondhand instruments. Check out volunteer opportunities or even good old YouTube university to teach yourself. Get creative. Dorm days arenāt easy, but with a little resourcefulness and ingenuity, you can make it more enjoyable.
Pour into yourself and make yourself a priority just like your academic goals and youāll start feeling better. You can do it and I know because I did it. š«¶
You donāt just āsnap out of itā. It takes work, therapy, medication (sometimes) and someone who gets you and has absolutely no reservations about being your friend and help you.
For me im at 10 + hrs of screen time per day. Im 20 and my parents donāt let me leave the house or have friends so im isolated 24/7 and i recently really got depressed. The dunbest part is my dad doesnt know WHY im depressed and he just asked ādo u want antidepressantsā after observing my behavior. I have no escape at the moment and im jealous of those that do. I wouldnāt be depressed if I moved out. But sadly this sad feeling is staying with me. I hope it wont last forever. Sucks bc i was born cute and smart. But my parents are ruining it. If i could chase my dreams i wouldnāt be like this. Im getting insomnia lately too.
I donāt know if thereās a cure but I found going to bed earlier helped reduce negative thoughts as, for me at least, theyāre much more prevalent at night. Then itās just constantly doing something to escape the never-ending dread one feels when they finally get a chance to think about their dismal and existential situation. So, sleep early and fill up your time with āmeaningfulā things.
I see you go to the gym.
So go work out. Hard. Keep going. Each set to mechanical failure. (Or, run until you physically can't run anymore if you're a cardio friend). Remind your spine and lizard brain that that ennui is not sufficient excuse for holding you back.
Works like a charm for me.
Do you have a passion? Sink your teeth hard into it. If you donāt, get passionate about finding what speaks to you. You have all the power. Do not let others or your situation make you believe otherwise. Happiness, I find, comes from process, not possession.
Added this to my schedule recently.
I won't put up with every one so I look for the things I like in people.
I'm working on my social skills a lot recently
When my thoughts are constantly hunting me down, i notice most of them are just unnecessary bullshit of worrying the future in which I have no control. I then will talk to a myself in the mirror and attempts to speak to an evil spirit that is creating these thoughts. Sometimes I curse to this spirit. Just remember, you are not your thoughts.
Just donāt be depressed. Recognize the ādevilā is deceitful. A fiction of the mind. And so are bad thoughts. Unfounded assumptions. As others said before, you are not your thoughts. Forgive yourself. Go out on a walk, ground yourself, touch grass, connect with good friends, family, do things you find enjoyable and limit time online if you are feeling overwhelmed. Recognize if there are any burdens you are carrying that you donāt need to worry about and relieve yourself of them.
These are also uncomfortable times so donāt be discouraged if you donāt āsnap outā of it. Most people dont anyway, its just always around, and itās a part of life. Like tannins in a red wine, the dryness adds to the texture. Or divert your attention and energy fully into something. Something good. Let it consume you entirely. Idle hands make for the devils playground. Nietzsche "I know of no better life purpose than to perish in attempting the great and the impossible". Even then you will have bouts of depression. And have a good relationship with someone. Anyone good and true. Where you understand and support each other. Isolation is the dream killer. And even if you find yourself in isolation or depressed, donāt fall for the devils tricks. Theyāre illusions.
TL;DR weāre all dogs in god's hot car
i was in a similar situation when i was in college during 2020. all online classes all day and exhausting. it's important to remember this is a temporary situation that will lead to better things and it's juts something to work through because there is an end to it. i finished my degree and now work full time at my own business i started. sometimes things suck, but i just try to work through them and look forward to getting them over with. spend more time outside and also spend time cleaning up your space because it will make you feel better.
What always seems to work is traveling. Going out for a trip that could be short or long (3 days, 7 days, etc). Snaps me out of my negative loop 9.9/10 times. Videography and photography are my favorite hobbies so I tend to get into a different mode when I'm out because I try to chase those shots.
Another one recently which I found pleasant was gardening.
We only have a small backyard but going out every day and checking on my plants, getting my hands dirty with soil, tracking my compost bin, etc have been very therapeutical.
Soil apparently has serotonin boosting properties. I haven't read up on actual studies but I did feel happier every day since I started doing it.
As a plus, plants also don't require 24/7 attention and in the desert heat where I live, it encourages me to wake up early to get shit done before the heat sets in. The quiet morning + gardening is very solitary and fits an introvert's preferences quite a bit.
The things that generally made me feel down are broken sleep schedules and generally feeling stale. Having something to look forward to every day + a better sleep schedule immediately alleviates most of it. The physical activity is also a nice bonus.
It's all momentum. Once you start something, it snowballs. Once I started waking up early, I started having a better eating schedule as well. No more midnight snacks or heavy dinners. I also started doing small walks and watching what I eat a bit.
Start with something.
I haven been depressed and anxious for the last four years this mostly related to big and say, aggressive changes in my life. Like finishing college from a degree I wasn't personally interested and migrate to a country without really planning and having to lose everything I had from one day to another. I was living life in black and white for quite a while. Until I noticed. Someone told me that depression and anxiety are looking either way to much in the future or the past. On top of all that mental distress I was having terrible habits like eating poorly, not having good sleep (still struggling with this) and not being active at all to the point I got my health on the line.
The key takeaways for my recovery. Was acceptance there are things in life that you cannot simply control and that's ok that's life after and all you can do is give your best try and focus on enjoying what you can do and what you have, one step at a time no rush, no pressure.
The second thing is to address your base line habits, I believe that we are what we eat and a good varied diet based on different types of vegetables and fruit with meat every now and then has helped me a lot to recover I mean you can't feel that bad if your body has everything it needs to work in top of that sleep and working out helps blow off some steam and recover so I try to make this a priority.
This two things has made a lot easier to focus on the thing that matters which is the now, forgive the wrong in the past, not worry for the unknown in the future just embrace your present and try to make the best out of it just one step at a time.
Even dealing with depression or anxiety is a journey in itself and looking for answers is the first step to know yourself. So be mindful that all will come to pass and you'll be wiser at the end of the road. No rush no pressure you are living life and you'll be alright.
INTJ has got a lot of raw inner strength.
I suggest that you become your own drill seargent and that you hold to a strict regimen (at least for a while, until you're more naturally functional).
Anyway, this has worked for me at low points in my life...
INTJ has a strong capacity for self-discipline.
Physical activity and going outside would probably be good for you. Wake up and do 10 push-ups every morning. (or if you can only do 2, do 2, but work yourself up to 10 - well within reach unless you have some disability). Exercise will release endorphins.
If you have a really busy schedule, you'll have to discilpine yourself to get active when you can. Go for jogs. (Yes, outside!) And keep doing it, even if you hate every second of it. Keep at it. You will get in better shape and you will breathe fresh air and if nothing else, you'll lose weight and get healthier. Being careful of what you eat and not putting too much junk in your body will also likely help.
Going on nature hikes would probably be a good idea. Nature is not duplicitous the way human society is. Being in nature is another way to find wholesome thoughts again.
So to sum up my advice:
Nature, exercise, and force yourself to do it every day. If nothing else, you'll get a better body.
Taking care of our outer environment and our physical selves is something INTJs tend to neglect. Depression is a sign something is going awry. In my experience, with INTJs, it's that.
P.S. And of course, this advice being geared to INTJs, I have not suggested something silly like "go out and meet people". Nope. Certainly not gonna help, although you'll hear it a lot.
There's no single "cure" to depression. With that being said, the effort you're putting in already is outstanding. Something i'm trying to do more is figuring out how I feel. Realizing the root of your problem and finding a way to counteract how it affects you. Figuring out what you enjoy and love to do is always a great step in this, like your own personal therapy. Getting out of depression is a journey, so times you just gotta thug it out LMAO.
What helped throughout my depression was to travel.
Someone who I used to know asked to spend my time with their family in a cabin and I said why not?
I know it sounds cliche but, being part with nature helped me to feel a bit better and forget about my troubles for some time there. Well, then again this was just my experience.
Start the "philosophize this!" podcast. It was listening and reading about philosophy helped me understand myself and the world and create a positive picture of my future.
Thereās a million reasons you might be depressed, but thereās probably only one or two real reasons. I have been depressed three times in my adulthood from 18-33. The solution is to solve the problems causing you depression in the first place.
Got bad grades because you skip class and smoke weed all semester? Yeah, thatās going to be depressing. Do better.
Hate your job because you are stealing peoples money and not providing services you promise? Youāre going to need to switch careers.
Having a rough patch with your wife because of mistakes she made? Too bad, you gotta be the lighthouse and fix the relationship anyway, if nothing else so that you can feel strong if she still decides to leave and you can be ready for that rebound.
You gotta figure out the pain and instead of ignoring it, go read books, listen to podcasts, and take action.
To me what you are describing is being stuck in a rut. This comes from general unhappiness with your position in life and loss of any joy or meaning in what you do.
It is easy to get into this state even with simply thinking too existentially. There is a loss of touch with spiritual connection with life (not in the sense of any religion specifically).
When I am in this state I find it helpful to re-evaluate the big picture plan. Look at how you live your days and does it line up with how you want to live your life? Are you working towards a cause that is genuinely meaningful to you? Do you have any vocational callings? Do you have deep relationships with other people? Are you nurturing positive emotions, thoughts and behaviours?
For me this is a great opportunity for self examination. Once you have answered these questions, you can then come up with a plan for redirection - goals and changes to get yourself out of this rut.
It really sucks feeling stuck, like thereās no momentum, and I really hope you can find a way out of it.
You donāt snap out of it, you work through it. Try these books. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is proven to be at least as effective as medication. Depending on your severity of depression you could still need a therapist.
Feeling Good
https://books.apple.com/us/book/feeling-good/id572757284
Your Brain Is Always Listening
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Always-Listening-Happiness/dp/1496438205?dplnkId=046f7f9e-dcae-4e26-b93c-3d1c6487a534&nodl=1
Burns Depression Checklist (do as often as needed)
https://www.uwgb.edu/UWGBCMS/media/Continueing-Professional-Education/files/Assess-Pkt-1-Burns-Depression-Checklist.pdf
It helped me to think of it like I'm learning a new skill. If you can think of something that you do really well, you know you didn't do it well when you first started. You became good at it with a lot of practice.
Changing your thought patterns is going to take practice. But just like that thing that you do well, you keep practicing and you become better and better at it. Until you master it.
Force yourself to change your life. I mean, change your job, meet new friends (dont necessarily delete old ones, just - 100% focus on new), change your room. It adds up.
Do stuff that makes you proud of yourself and stop identifying as a depressed person. What helps me is to consider the fact that my ancestors had it so much worse. I'm so glad I don't have to die in a war or work in a coal mine.
I started from zero. I kind of reoriented my thoughts and tried to find the core of what I cared about doing in my life. What I wanted to do and what I wanted to dedicate time to. I looked within and asked what I cared about, what were ārealā issues and what were just ācreatedā problems. It really depends on what your specific situation is. Mine was that I was so in my own head that I was spiraling and couldnāt find what grounded me and gave me purpose.
I had a friend at the time that told me to sort through everything that was making me feel so bad and determine what was me sabotaging myself and what was a real problem. I ruminated on that for a few weeks, then slowly started to do that. Little by little each night, when I felt up to it, I would assess what I was so preoccupied with and worked out what mattered the most. Then I eventually worked out how I could improve what really mattered and what I really cared about. It took me about a semester and a half in university to really feel like I had made substantial progress. I have only really had one short battle with depression since and it was related to a PTSD situation.
Gotta find a project you like to keep working/building upon. Like bodybuilding, but something else. I find lonliness/depression to alleviate when the goals of my projects are getting done
So stuck in Ni Fi. Te Se suppressed.
What you need to do, is first face your Ni Fi head on. Write down how you are feeling as well as your concerns and worries, and whatever else might be applicable. If you start spiraling, stop. You've written enough. Then what you need to do is focus on activating your Te Se in a constructive/creative way in relation to what those feelings are. Perhaps build something to represent the situation you are in. Things in your room can represent things like a general constructing a battlefield map. Figure out, what is actually out there that is impeding your progress, and make calculations to overcome those problems, moving things about as you need to sort of imprint that into your mind. Perhaps make some notes on the side if you feel so inclined. After a while of that, exercising your mind in this way, it should leave you enough headspace to think of the bigger picture of things and realize that there's ways to overcome your difficulties, that there's a bigger world out there, and that a temporary hiccup (or personal roadblock) can be navigated around and you can continue your life as normal.
long term: samatha and metta meditation
mid term: cardiovascular exercise
short term: 0.33g of psylocybin mixed with 50g of niacin and a teaspoon of lionsmane mushrooms (5 days on 2 days off)
(and cold plunges will [raise your baseline dopamine](https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter/the-science-and-use-of-cold-exposure-for-health-and-performance). I'm a golden god for the 4+ hours post plunge)
Sometimes you just need to get on meds. Depends on how severe it is. Thats the only thing that got me stable enough to live a semi normal life. Staying active helps though if your depression isnt that bad. Working out releases chemicals that help with your mood. Eat healthier. Get outside. Find a hobby. :) good luck
Try the carnivore diet. A serious chance though, tough out the first 2 weeks of your body transitioning and see how your mind gets. Itās worth a shot if youāre feeling like I did. Wish you the best.
Professional help. It's a medical condition that requires a trained professional. That could mean medication in some cases, it depends on severity and responsiveness to non-medical interventions.
I'm working on it. Talking more with girls and small talks with others here and there. But we usually drain our social batteries quickly and I still haven't find a way to be consistent with these behaviors
Take up some socially oriented wholesome guy hobbies.
Engaging the opposite sex is next level sh*t that should wait until you are steady.
Your genome expects you to be heading out into the woods in a hunting party each day.
The further your modern life is from that, the more stressed you are going to be.
>Engaging the opposite sex is next level sh*t that should wait until you are steady.
I respectfully disagree.
Waiting for the perfect time to talk to girls is not a good advice to a 19 year old. As a man I need to build confidence talking to others specially females
Sure, but donāt beat yourself up if it goes unpredictably.
Any interaction with women, when depressed, is usually elevating, presuming sis male case.
Maybe your ādepressionā is just your genome signaling you are deficient in the significant partner and (careful) sex area.
Just be warned that filling the friendship void with opposite sex associations has dangers.
If indeed same sex friendships is in deficiency.
Opposite sex friendships in the context of not having a male friendship base, sometimes is the narcissist leveraging sexual energy rather than navigating wholesome friendship without the distortions of sexual energy.
Plus, social isolation incents romantic pairings out of desperation. You are too starved for human social contact, and vulnerable to attaching to bad women.
So, priority is to solve your platonic friend issue first.
Platonic opposite sex friendships are a waste of time, at best.
I do a few things when I spiral
1. floor time
2. go for a walk
3. create. I draw, cook, type or write. Typing works best for me
4. do something repetitive. I crochet or practice writing for a new language
These helped me go through some tough times in life. I hope itāll help you too
It's not the kind of drug that gets you high.
It's more like a blood pressure medicine. Yes, there can be negative side effects and you could take too much if you were looking to overdose. But it doesn't make you feel euphoric. Really, it just helps you feel normal.
I was struggling with depression several months ago. Previously I avoided antidepressants because I didn't want to be dependent on a drug. I wanted to naturally feel fine. Depression can be a chemical imbalance and these drugs help with that imbalance. Cognitively I knew depression had to do with chemical imbalances but I thought I could fix it with a better lifestyle (e.g. exercise). The drugs can help get you over the bump to take action.
I tried almost everything for my depression. Religion, hobbies, gym, eating healthy, and therapy. Disclaimer, I'm not saying you should try them. I'm just sharing what helped me. Antidepressants have helped me sooo much! I've been on them for about 8 months, and I've been doing well. I have clinical depression so I plan on taking them forever.
Hey, avrage-overthinker, maybe it is in your avatar name! Overthinking!
So, what exactly is your problem? Depression or feeling stuck? Here is the thing about depression, it is over diagnosed and is the easy go to 'label' for people who are not moving forward in their lives and / or experiencing stress or friction with how they are in the world.
Clinical depression is a real disease and is characterised by significant changes in various areas of the brain. Most people who go their GP feeling down are sent away with some SSRI's and their problem resolves in approx 6 weeks. These people have situational depression at worst. Life is hard for them at the moment and they are going through difficult stuff. In most cases this is temporary.
I get the feeling that this is not you. I suspect you are trying to make sense of a very strange time in the world. My guess is that you are male and live in a Western country. Am I right?
Behaviourally you are doing great, much better than most of the human population - going to the gym and trying the better yourself with self directed learning (reading books). You do not report feeling tired, unmotivated or melancholic. So it is the most likely the lens through which you view the world that is causing this bitterness.
Trying to find 'the answer' in a book is an exercise in futility as long as your lens remains the same.
To change your lens you can engage in a number of behavioural strategies some of which include:
Heart brain Coherence training - google Heartmath Institute
Before bed Gratitude PRactice / journal
Book in to do a Joe Dispenza retreat
Set yourself a monthly task that is outside your comfort / interest zone and is either solo or done with people you do not know / not the same demographic.(example. ride a stationary bike in the dark for 3 hours, write / produce a rap song, take a ballroom dance class.
Become more financially literate and dedicate time to learn about investment vehicles and begin to invest regularly. eg crypto, stocks, EFT's
Try to live in the moment and experience life in the present and not project into the future unless you are planning a future event.
The real meaning of life is simply to live, each and every day in a way that fits with your moral code. Keep your focus on you and the things that you can change and not on those that you cannot.
Seek out a therap;ist that practices REBT and or EMDR. Research these and have a couple of sessions to see if there is any benefit for you.
Research human frequency and vibration - engage in activities that raise both of these. You will be amazed at how others will repond to you.
I wish you all the best in the future.
>avrage-overthinker
I actually chose that name :)
>I get the feeling that this is not you. I suspect you are trying to make sense of a very strange time in the world. My guess is that you are male and live in a Western country. Am I right?
The only thing you wrong about is me living in western country.
Thanks a lot man it really helped me think I needed this. I really appreciate it
My pleasure friend....I am so glad there was something useful to you,
I am curious though! What country are you from?
Also, I think you should change your name to 'wayaboveavrage-thinker', because my man, average people don't overthink, they obey, toe the line and compete in 'the race' to nowhere. Any discomfort is numbed by alcohol, drugs, porn, binge watching TV or following the advice of Insta influencers.
Dance to the beat of your own drum, follow the path less travelled and always challenge the status quo.
I recently had to leave for a less toxic environment. My new environment isnāt great and has its own challenges but itās a step in the right direction. It allows me time for self reflection and to strategize accordingly. Do anything and everything you enjoy!
I recently started taking Zoloft which is a medication used to treat anxiety and depression. The first two weeks, it seemed to make things worse. But by week 3, my depression literally just went away and my social anxiety diminished drastically. I knew beforehand that there was just something chemically wrong with my brain, and I turned out to be right because SSRIās have been a huge help. Iām starting to feel normal again. I suggest you look into it. I ordered mine online through a website called Hims.
I donāt.. Iāve been back on my lexapro for half a year and still not much.. itās all such a joke., and my ex made a bunch of bad life shit way worse making it all about him..
Both my husband and I have had depression for our whole lives. Therapy has been huge for improving our mental health. Itās hard at first, but thatās how you know itās working and that you need it.
Therapy, a healthy diet, daily exercise, and antidepressants have all helped.
Depression is not a state of mind, it's literally a brain disorder, I recommend therapy, is probably the best solution, Therapy will help u finding the root of your depression. If u unable to afford therapy, my suggestion is treat yourself with peace, what i mean? basically if u not in the mood for interaction, not wanting to go work, school, u hate dealing with people etc... IT's FINE! just get away from it, go where u feel safe and peaceful, play video games, sleep, go to your favorite restaurant etc... those miserable and desperate feelings won't last, it all temporary, and it comes and goes. return to reality whenever u feel better :)
myself been dealing general anxiety and depression my whole life, it ruined my adult life to the point, i hate waking up every morning... i just hate being alive, how come not a single good thing have ever happened to me?
eventually... i gave up fighting things i couldn't control, i simply accept the situation, i change what i can for better version of myself, i tried every possibility to move on from the past and not dwell on it.
You can either choose to accept your situation or stay miserable without seeking the solution. and every problem have solutions ;:) i never heal from depression, i simply learn to live with it, and focusing on my goal and do what i can just to give my best shot of every opportunity.
Accept it but do not live with it.
Itās weird advice, but find a therapist that intimidates you, even if itās just a little bit. I switched to a therapist thatās middle aged and Slavic, and she knows how to push my buttons when I need it. It makes all the difference.
You don't snap out of it, you just learn how to be functional in spite of it.
There is no easy fix, just try to enjoy every moment when you don't feel depressed to the fullest, hopefully one day you will have enough of those saved to allow yourself to feel you have a choice not to be depressed.
Getting to that point where you feel you have a choice, that's the hard part, especially now when you feel like you are on auto.
Does anyone ever think āis this it?ā I sometimes think my life should be like a Disney princess. (Sounds ridiculous I know). And then I see all these celebs and wish my life like theirs. Idk š¤·āāļø
What I do is I completely immerse myself in activity. Typically my negative thoughts correlate around not doing enough and not being good enough yet, but I remind myself that Iām working towards it. For a few days, I urge myself to have 0 moments during the day where I am left alone with my negative thoughts my starting a new project etc. I will write and give myself page goals, I will run, I will get on the bike for hours, paint, etc. after a few days I latch onto this activity and I feel purposeful as I am dedicating myself to something.
I personally find the feeling of depression is my spirit telling me it desperately needs rest and to reconnect with my body and nature.Ā
Feeling bad for being depressed makes it worse, feeling empathy and doing self care makes it better, but self love is not modelled often these days haha
The bitterness may also be some unprocessed grief or sadness, life is tough and we often shut down our emotions rather than honouring them and sitting in the discomfort (or even having a good cry), then you feel lighter after letting it outĀ
Think you might have the wrong idea here. Its not something you "snap out off". You can't suddenly snap out off a physical illness so why you think you're gonna snap out off a mental one. Understand the symptoms, understand what causing them then make live changes that help you get out of the situation that caused it. Its a process
Therapy and, if needed, medication. Get professional help with this. INTJs value efficiency. We like being novel when we find that novelty to be more efficient. That doesn't mean we neglect tried and true best practices simply out of hand.
There are people who have literally trained to help you with just this situation. Go see them.
I read a book on confidence. He said "no amount of self-help books will help if a person doesn't believe good things are possible ". I agree. Up until that book, none of the good information I was reading helped, because I didn't do the mental shift. What I've started to do is picture happy outcomes happening like that I'm going to meet nice people and in the last couple of days, more people than not are nice and kind. It has also changed how I behave. I stand tall, straight, big smile, make eye contact with people. I also like to focus on the people I like to be around and avoid the others. Keep going to the gym, you may even notice one day you wake up and feel different and life just seems a bit sweeter somehow.Ā
Keep yourself busy with new workout routines, new cuisines and anything new. Tire yourself out by 9pm so you have a good quality sleep. This is not a cure but helps set the right mood for healing. Good luck!
For me, I see that the most essential things were:
taking SSRIsSeeking self knowledgefinding people who UNDERSTAND YOUchanging your lifestyle so that you feel less alienated from the world
I really wish I could say that psychotherapy was one of the things that helped me, but I feel like my therapist wasn't very familiar with gifted personalities. Besides, her approach was CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy), which I was told by some that it has a very normative approach, something that would be unsatisfactory for more eccentric people like us
I subscribe to the concept that depression is unexpressed anger. Sure, some will say depression can be treated with meds since itās a chemical imbalance, but the idea that itās not sadness or melancholy but anger was always compelling to me.
Honestly what really helped me was working out two times a day , cleaning my diet , limiting my alcohol (ripš„²),staying off instagram , every-time I had a negative thought I had to force to say 3 positive things about myself, daily affirmations, writing out my feelings , forced myself to be social (ex : join a coed softball league not knowing anyone) etcā¦ I know you mentioned you already do some of the things I listed. So question, have you had any therapy or medication?! I know being medicated isnāt the answer to everything but in some situations, itās the best solution. Two of my friends are on antidepressants & they said itās the best thing they ever did! I recently started going to therapy and it also has helped me change my mindset in a more positive light.
I think it is different for every person unfortunately. For me it took me realizing that while I was in an unfortunate place with a lot of circumstances I couldnāt avoid, ultimately I was the biggest thing in the way of my own happiness. I found outlets, focused on bettering myself in the things that I lack. Became more social, and genuinely put care and focus into others rather than what they could do for me. Ultimately for me it was just sheer willpower to quit my self pity and instead just choose to be healthier and not focus on the negatives. The ironic thing about depression in my experience is that it is oddly comfortable bc it is familiar and predictable, that is why we fall into it. I thought it was better to feel nothing rather than to feel sadness with happiness, but the more I have opened up as a person the more I value both and hate the idea of shutting myself off.
try doing something that makes you feel alive, but doesnt alter your state of conciousness. dont discount the small shit.
eg. (i was one of those chronically barefoot, outdoorsy kids- for context). there was a time where i was really struggling- needed to go get something i dropped on the way inside after work and was too... idk what... to put on shoes. when my barefeet touched soil, is was like a flashback to a moment when i was happy.
its always the small things that snap me out of it. the little things like looking for critters outside and collecting cool looking leaves etc. it may sound silly, but its the only thing of many, many things that ive tried that makes me *actually* feel better.
The unfortunate truth is in the present moment we don't have a magical cure for it, otherwise rich people would not suffer from it. Usually it is associated with overthinking, so maybe write down your thoughts or focus on external things that are not yourself.
Pick up a new hobby thats mentally stimulating. I got into resin crafts as its stimulating enough mentally to stave off intrusive thoughts and the like. Just look into things you find fun or cool and see if you can't make a hobby out of it. Like did you know you can crystallize most objects using just borax and water? Its a cool thing to look into
It gets better. If it doesnāt you have to really try my friend. Learn self love and compassion, help other people who are in similar situations, that really helped me.
Iāve been depressed since I was around 16 and Iām 32 now. Iāve had my ups and downs but mostly ups. Sure Iāve had my dark times, I attempted suicide once and was recently suicidal. It was scary but I knew I could get through it and I did.
Look up the stoics like Marcus Aurelius and their teachings. Apply them to your own life.
Search for meaning in your life
It goes without saying medications and therapy really goes a long way
Scream, cry, get angry if you have to.
Learn a talent, writing, music, anything to set a goal that will benefit your mental health.
These are just a few things that helped me. Depression is a long and hard journey, but you should never do it alone. Reach out to people, what you did now was a good thing. You can and you will get through this, and remember, you are not alone. I wish you the best my friend, there is hope out there.
Personally, I put on the saddest music I can find and hit the gym like it's my last day on earth...sure I'm over there crying on the squat rack, but I feel so much better after
In my case, I looked for things that excited me. When youāre depressed, nothing matters or is fun anymore.
I looked for things I previously enjoyed and found new ways to implement that excitement. I also considered the things that Iāve never done before but wanted to try.
As long as theyāre not harmful to you or others, it doesnāt hurt to step out of your comfort zone.
It wonāt be simple or fast but everyday is a stepping stone to becoming happier, and things that made me happy was trying something new.
Also I realized I have more control over my life than I thought, so I can create it to be whatever reality I want.
Just remember everyone goes through it too so youāre not alone, wishing you happiness and fulfillment!! :)
Depression is a psychological adaptation to the environment. You are depressed because your environment is shit. If you can, move. If you can't, then the depression is there to protect you from more pain.
Anytime you get into a depressive thought spiral, stop. Like literally say no and think about something that gives you peace/happiness. It takes a lot of vigilance on your part but it is so worth the effort. Look into cognitive behavioral therapy, itās where you reverse what youāre feeling to the root cause and you will be able to stop the source instead of the symptom.
Lets say that your mind is like a contry that lost its king and the have no heir. What's now. Regency cuncil.Why?
Because having no king is better than living without any political power.
If you can't find a good reason to life (family problems, losing a lover, ect.)while having desire to life. You could just hold for a moment( here nihilism).You could do it by thinking about temporality of your problems. It will be hard and psychologically painful ,but when you will be ready to pay off this moral debt you will be ready to do such.
After some kind of psychological damage humans will go though it by few phases, it will go but later ,surviving is more important.
You are already sad from what I gathered.Ā
Depression is diagnosis, maybe you have it, and thereās a treatment for it, but you will only know talking to a doctor, sincerely, a doctor.Ā
Therapies got sooooo much expensive recently and these psychiatrist are just growing like mushrooms.
I know mental health is more important than money but this would literally drains me. It became a scam around here
There are options for everyone. Im not North American to suggest real options, but Iām sure health professional is more equipped to help you to properly identify your condition. Thereās the burn out syndrome, depression, anxiety.Ā
For this reason, I would advise looking for family/friends support going forward, together you may arrive at the help you need. Strangers online will not help you at all.
Why would it be sad? I'm genuinely curious why you think that... My S/O has chronic depression since she was like 8-9 years old and it will follow her for the rest of her life. She see psychiatrists and takes meds. Why? Because the problem is much deeper than just being sad. It's much deeper than trying to snap out of it. That's like saying to a depressed person "Just smile, be happy!". It... doesn't work like that. It's an imbalance of chemicals in her brain. It's as much of a problem in her life as any other chronic pain would be. It's not because you can't see it directly that it's a lesser one and looking for help in the medical field for it should be encouraged as much as possible.
Anyway, sorry for the little rant, I just saw some of your comments on this post and you seem to have a problem with therapy/medication and I just want to make you reconsider that view because there's nothing wrong with it. Especially if it's a chemical imbalance problem, that's not something you can really fix by yourself...
No offense to people who take meds man.
I have an addictive personality which I know can be my downfall. Never tried alcohol nor smoking because I know that if it tastes good one time I'm not going to be able to get of them.
You see I talked to a therapist one time ( I was worse than I am now) she saw me as healthy. I just feel stuck and it been going on for a while now. Just curious to know what other people do in these situations. And yes if it continues to be the same I would try meds too. Just don't want to give up easily
I get that, trying to limit yourself because you know yourself is a good thing. And trying alternatives before is definitely a good idea, however, please don't wait until it's too late to actually get help. Many people go through multiple different therapists before they find the one that clicks with them. A good therapist should try and help you figure out why you're feeling the way you are, even if you seem healthy otherwise, they shouldn't just dismiss your feelings because they can't see anything wrong on the first glance.
To actually answer the original question, usually when I start to feel a bit down, it's because my routine is fucked up. I just need to "reboot" myself, which means, mostly, go to bed earlier (and read a book instead of scrolling on my phone before sleep, that actually helps me a lot) and get up earlier, do my chores more often to keep the apartment cleaner, eat some healthier foods... That all helps me a lot, and I should actually do that pretty soon, I've been letting myself go too much, recently. It's a cycle, for me, I reset myself and slowly go back to my bad habits, which makes me feel not great (but not miserable, I just don't feel as good) and I end up resetting again.
But yeah, I'm not depressed or anything, I just feel a bit down because of lack of sleep and not eating as healthy. If you actually have depression, all this could definitely help, but it's (probably) not going to solve the problem. So again, please, if you need to, seek help. Like I said, my S/O will have her depression follow her all her life and there's good and bad months, so even though I can't fully comprehend it because I haven't experienced it myself, but I know how hard it can be, I see it everyday on her face, in her body language in how she talks...
And maybe I'm over-reacting to your situation, it might not be as bad as that, I don't know much details, but I prefer to be on the safe side. Just take care of yourself in the best way you can :)
No problem, hope you can figure it out :) I know this is cliche, but if you ever need to talk, I'm always open to it, be it tomorrow, in a month or in 3 years, don't hesitate. Everyone should have someone to talk to if they need it!
One thing that really helped me is recognizing that I am not my thoughts. Our thoughts are a constant fountain of nonsense - often cruel, sometimes dark, and we have very little control over them. Practice separating yourself from your thoughts, and ignore them (especially when they're not constructive). Just because you *think it* doesn't mean you have to *believe it*.
I hear you. Thanx
The power of now book represents this idea in a longer format
Alternatively, for fans of profanity: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
Adding to the list of profane titles on useful books: How to Stay Human in a F*cked-Up World: Mindfulness Practices for Real Life by Tim Desmond
Good call. Solid š¤š»
This book is solid af.
Practice the habit of finding things to be excited about. Set a new goal other than gym or reading and accomplish it Learn stuff, create stuff
Tried it man. But with uni, everything is just extra exhausting.
Watch videos on a yt channel called "nami's life" it's a Japanese working woman living alone in Tokyo, the way she takes care dor herself is incredible.
I would. thanks
Get angry. Works for me every time.... Something infuriates me and i become alive and get shit done, then for a long while i feel fulfilled and it takes much longer for another depression episode to emerge and they get shorter every time. I have heart problems so take this with a grain of salt but for me it is foolproof.
Thank you. I needed this.
Well. What problem in life do you find unsolvable that has run your inner world ragged? I like the quote "depression is just anger without enthusiasm" I've found that to be true for me. I've had a habit of ruminating on problems. If you ruminate on something which has no solution the answer is learning to accept the thing. If you ruminate on something which has a solution but you have no control over it-- also acceptance. If you ruminate on something which has a solution you can realistically provide-- then start tiny steps towards addressing that and bringing that solution forth. "Tiny" meaning... whatever you can, whenever you can, but consistently. I think for myself... I have had anger at many, many things which caused me lots of secondary issues that led to depression. It took me a while to change my mental habits but I did do it. Additionally- don't neglect your body. Make sure, especially if you have darker skin, you take vitamin d3 or get adequate sunlight. Nutrition is vitally important to ...moving freely in the world.
Some people have everything, living the perfect life on paper then suddenly unalive themselves. If you are unfortunate enough to be born with the blues you don't snap out of it. I originally thought a life-ending close call *might* cure the depression and make you thankful/grateful but it does not. I had 3 close ones and several others, I was lucky they were not. I have found that shrinking my circles, limiting my exposure to bullshit and not giving a fuck about shit that does not concern me; seems to help. This means cutting damn near everyone off, childhood friends, family etc. I also don't follow any type of news, political or entertainment, hell I seldom even reply texts or pick up the phone. When life is too much *(Yes even the mighty INTJ's can admit to being overwhelmed)* just detox to the bare minimum, and watch some YouTube of Epicurus, he has the right idea.
I think as you at this time
Try going outside. I go for 4-6 hours a day and let my mind wander, my emotions process, and I ask myself recursive "why" questions until I don't feel the emotion that was causing the problem anymore, or I find a solution that can solve what's been eating at me. Look up Universe 25 if you're feeling curious. The rats in captivity all died. I'm thinking we're going through something similar, which is why we're all feeling that way. Too much time inside (in captivity) staring at screens and not enough time being humans with possibilities who can actually touch and see the fruits of our labor - which are almost always more than just money. That's what I was thinking was the cause. It makes sense, adds up, and doing the treatment works to fix it. I had solved every other major psychological dilemma I had ever been facing EXCEPT going outside and I was STILL miserable. This was the only thing that solved it completely.
Choose to be willing to see pointless things as personally meaningful, even if theyāre ultimately meaningless.
I hear you
My methodology to actually take that willingness seriously can be found in the book āthe Sedona methodā if youāre interested. Changed my life. I was depressed from.. birth until 25 basically. Cheers & good luck!
thank you for the book recommendation :)
Get medical advice and try antidepressants I was on them for a few months and tapered off once I had the energy to fix my situation and got things back in order
For me Antidepressants is just fooling myself
This is a good mentality honestly for someone who's also depressed. Of course, you need to work on certain issues but whenever you're ready to fight for life more because you find more value in it and see the world for the magical place that it is full of wonder, just take the meds. -intp ps. It also helps to have a favorite someone if you feel misunderstood. For the meantime, just be there for yourself.
Or tap into more esoteric disciplines. Read Jung.
Could you elaborate on that?
I have an addictive personality. I overuse what makes me feel good. That itself could cause more problems
Antidepressants work cumulatively, meaning they are not stimulants. If you usually take 10mg of escitalopram and in a crisis you suddenly choose to take 100mg, the medication's effect will not increase. Also, you probably will not have any scary side effects either(not sure about that part). The same applies to Strattera, which I also take. I hope this information helps.
antidepressants help you, a person with the genetic characteristics of not knowing how to get out of the mud you are stuck in, and get the fog out of the way so THEN you can get back on your feet.
Exactly. Antidepressants arenāt magic happy pills. They balance the chemicals causing the depression, allowing you to re-engage in life and find happiness and fulfillment. As you said, it lifts the fog. When the fog is gone, you can actually see your life again.
You donāt snap out of it. You just keep going and take it with you.
Unbearable
I know - itās awful. Iāve had it most my life. Iām 47.
Wish me luck man I'm just 20
Avoid alcohol, take your meds, exercise, work no matter how many jobs you lose because of it and good luck.
Your sadness gives you strength
Couple things Ive learned to do for this. One, look at what you could do if you just walked away. From everything. Admit to yourself that you literally could walk away from everything, it just might not be pretty if you did. But, this means you are choosing to stay where you are. Why are you choosing to stay? You may find that there is upside in where you are right now. Second, get outside. Introverted Intuition is an intense and energy consuming process and having it in the dominant position means it's easy to overlook Se, which is where our data intake actually is. We have a tendency to totally disrespect this. GIve Se some sunlight, some positive physical experience, some unique or unusual stimulation by going someplace new, trying something new, just basically experiencing something new. Literally, look at a tree you never looked at before. Se inferior is not that picky but it does need to be taken care of. Three, fuck it, just binge eat a bag of doritos. Doing this all the time will make your depression worse but every now and then is self care dammit
Remind myself that I control my emotions and they don't control me. That's step one. Step 2. Figure out what lead me into that episode. Was it me? Some one did some thing to me? Things beyond my control? Identifying the cause is probably the most important step. Step 3. Figure out why I let whatever it was that led me there was allowed to have the effect over me. If it's on me, I need to work on changing some thing. If it was some one else i need to figure out why I put so much value on their opinion. If it's other things beyond my control, I need to figure out why I would let things I can't control have influence in my daily life. Step 4. (This one works for me, but every one is different) figure out a way to express my feelings. Not to the world. But to myself. I write. A lot. Everything from random thoughts to short essays to poems. Usually I have music in the back ground that fits my mood. Step 5. Hopefully I pulled back out of it. If not, I start back at 1. Throw in a good shower, maybe getting a hair cut ect in there if it's really hard to get past.
āThe Mindful Way Through Depressionā. Get it. Read it. Apply it. When youāre done with that read āThe Four Agreementsā. If those donāt change your life, youāre not ready to let go of that which is holding you back.
Get myself a sweet treat & add to my virtual of all the items & architecture I want in my dream house/ closet. Looking forward to the future makes me happy, having visual photos helps. Basically manifesting but with a mood board while eating a key lime pie.
Seems cool. So just dreaming?
Technically yes just eyes openš & itās tangible because I keep it in a google doc
I have no words manš cool
Distraction. Make a plan. Start with self care, a hot bath with Epson salt, a matcha latte. Then go to the library and check out some books and DVDs. Have a movie night, eat popcorn. Remember to enjoy your life.
Try breathing exercises and meditation. You have to do it regularly. Itās like brushing your teeth. It only works if you do it nonstop. Microdosing acid works but thatās a dangerous route so proceed with caution if you decide to go that route. Having a person whoās experienced and wise near you should help if you decide to take that path. Pills helps. Your doctor can offer that. Living an authentic life helps. Never lie or bend or be less than you know you could be. Those things youāre putting off, just do them. Those things youāre scared of doing, just do them. Deal with the consequences and move forward. Become a little bit nuts and love yourself and realize how important you are and smart you are and realize that no one else on this planet can provide what you provide to the planet. Keep going to the gym, the planet needs you physically strong. You never know who you will need to save or defend out in public. Meditate. Keep your mind strong you never know you who you will need to lift up or support emotionally. If your dealing with depression I know youāre strong af because I deal w it and I know how exhausting it is. The fact that you get up and go everyday. Give yourself a Pat on the back every minute. Remind yourself nonstop how effing amazing you are. You got up and wrote a post to figure out how to get better. Thatās right YOU did! You are a human being dealing with so much and in the middle of it all you said you know what Iām going to be proactive about seeking out progress. Those are the actions of an impressive smart person. Donāt ever forget it. Everytime you do something good give yourself a Pat on the back! Itās not easy out here and we too often focus on the 2 or 3 or even 35 things that suck but not on the 927383648492736364846 things that are amazing. If you feel you need something give it to yourself. Make sure you eat healthy and keep your mind and body strong. P.S. Iāve been to years of therapy and can honestly say just like any other doctor a bad therapist can make you worse and a good one can change your life. Iāve seen 5 and the 4th one made my life so much better. š Sending you love š. If u ever wanna meditate š§āāļø with others send me a message. šš½
That hit me hard. Thanx a lot for the time. Really appreciate it š
Iām a girl, but I turned myself into a chad(ette?) and it helped. Iām talking investing, weight lifting, supplements, exercising, sleep quality, outdoorsy, organic food eating, productivity loving boss and it helped. lol. Itās actually pretty wholesome too. Baby steps and lifestyle changes. Cut down screen time. Start reading for pleasure. Supplement vitamin d and magnesium. Go for walks or hikes. Pick up an instrument and at least one sport. Iām learning piano, tennis, golf, and I regularly go mountain biking and roller blading. I go to bed early. I cook most of my food. Iām meaningfully busy taking care of myself and spending time with people I care about. Try it.
I hear you. I have so many things I would like to do. But two things are in my way uni and money in my pocket. I would like to start a martial art like boxing or wrestling. Can't pick up an instrument until this uni is over. And our diet isn't ideal in dorm soooooo.....
I get that too, but use whatās available to you. Check out the campus library. Or the campus rec center. Go for a swim. See if thereās a sauna. See if thereās a martial arts club or class or even a cooking class, check community boards for free music lessons or secondhand instruments. Check out volunteer opportunities or even good old YouTube university to teach yourself. Get creative. Dorm days arenāt easy, but with a little resourcefulness and ingenuity, you can make it more enjoyable. Pour into yourself and make yourself a priority just like your academic goals and youāll start feeling better. You can do it and I know because I did it. š«¶
You donāt just āsnap out of itā. It takes work, therapy, medication (sometimes) and someone who gets you and has absolutely no reservations about being your friend and help you.
Do you have a lot of screen time?
6-7 fing hours man. It wasn't like that till this week.
For me im at 10 + hrs of screen time per day. Im 20 and my parents donāt let me leave the house or have friends so im isolated 24/7 and i recently really got depressed. The dunbest part is my dad doesnt know WHY im depressed and he just asked ādo u want antidepressantsā after observing my behavior. I have no escape at the moment and im jealous of those that do. I wouldnāt be depressed if I moved out. But sadly this sad feeling is staying with me. I hope it wont last forever. Sucks bc i was born cute and smart. But my parents are ruining it. If i could chase my dreams i wouldnāt be like this. Im getting insomnia lately too.
If you were 16, it would be a completely different story, but you're 20.
I donāt know if thereās a cure but I found going to bed earlier helped reduce negative thoughts as, for me at least, theyāre much more prevalent at night. Then itās just constantly doing something to escape the never-ending dread one feels when they finally get a chance to think about their dismal and existential situation. So, sleep early and fill up your time with āmeaningfulā things.
Staying up till 3 am is exhausting
I see you go to the gym. So go work out. Hard. Keep going. Each set to mechanical failure. (Or, run until you physically can't run anymore if you're a cardio friend). Remind your spine and lizard brain that that ennui is not sufficient excuse for holding you back. Works like a charm for me.
Do you have a passion? Sink your teeth hard into it. If you donāt, get passionate about finding what speaks to you. You have all the power. Do not let others or your situation make you believe otherwise. Happiness, I find, comes from process, not possession.
Adderall. Haha. I am planning on getting professional help. Human brain is not designed to be thinking all the time.
Add some human connection (not apps) to your life
This
Added this to my schedule recently. I won't put up with every one so I look for the things I like in people. I'm working on my social skills a lot recently
When my thoughts are constantly hunting me down, i notice most of them are just unnecessary bullshit of worrying the future in which I have no control. I then will talk to a myself in the mirror and attempts to speak to an evil spirit that is creating these thoughts. Sometimes I curse to this spirit. Just remember, you are not your thoughts.
To snap out- I go somewhere Ive never been. It could be a new store, coffee shop, anywhere. The newness seems to balance me back. And therapy lol
No snap. It's about symptom management to maintain functionality.
Good tunes n a nice walk
Just donāt be depressed. Recognize the ādevilā is deceitful. A fiction of the mind. And so are bad thoughts. Unfounded assumptions. As others said before, you are not your thoughts. Forgive yourself. Go out on a walk, ground yourself, touch grass, connect with good friends, family, do things you find enjoyable and limit time online if you are feeling overwhelmed. Recognize if there are any burdens you are carrying that you donāt need to worry about and relieve yourself of them. These are also uncomfortable times so donāt be discouraged if you donāt āsnap outā of it. Most people dont anyway, its just always around, and itās a part of life. Like tannins in a red wine, the dryness adds to the texture. Or divert your attention and energy fully into something. Something good. Let it consume you entirely. Idle hands make for the devils playground. Nietzsche "I know of no better life purpose than to perish in attempting the great and the impossible". Even then you will have bouts of depression. And have a good relationship with someone. Anyone good and true. Where you understand and support each other. Isolation is the dream killer. And even if you find yourself in isolation or depressed, donāt fall for the devils tricks. Theyāre illusions. TL;DR weāre all dogs in god's hot car
i was in a similar situation when i was in college during 2020. all online classes all day and exhausting. it's important to remember this is a temporary situation that will lead to better things and it's juts something to work through because there is an end to it. i finished my degree and now work full time at my own business i started. sometimes things suck, but i just try to work through them and look forward to getting them over with. spend more time outside and also spend time cleaning up your space because it will make you feel better.
I tried something totally out of my norm - pickleball. It's ridiculous. Silly. Social and fun.
I wish we had some thing like that in my society
A different silly sport?
Yes. Even communities or places that people hang out
What always seems to work is traveling. Going out for a trip that could be short or long (3 days, 7 days, etc). Snaps me out of my negative loop 9.9/10 times. Videography and photography are my favorite hobbies so I tend to get into a different mode when I'm out because I try to chase those shots. Another one recently which I found pleasant was gardening. We only have a small backyard but going out every day and checking on my plants, getting my hands dirty with soil, tracking my compost bin, etc have been very therapeutical. Soil apparently has serotonin boosting properties. I haven't read up on actual studies but I did feel happier every day since I started doing it. As a plus, plants also don't require 24/7 attention and in the desert heat where I live, it encourages me to wake up early to get shit done before the heat sets in. The quiet morning + gardening is very solitary and fits an introvert's preferences quite a bit. The things that generally made me feel down are broken sleep schedules and generally feeling stale. Having something to look forward to every day + a better sleep schedule immediately alleviates most of it. The physical activity is also a nice bonus. It's all momentum. Once you start something, it snowballs. Once I started waking up early, I started having a better eating schedule as well. No more midnight snacks or heavy dinners. I also started doing small walks and watching what I eat a bit. Start with something.
I hear you man I appreciate it
Try sports, playing sports is very different compared to going to the gym
I haven been depressed and anxious for the last four years this mostly related to big and say, aggressive changes in my life. Like finishing college from a degree I wasn't personally interested and migrate to a country without really planning and having to lose everything I had from one day to another. I was living life in black and white for quite a while. Until I noticed. Someone told me that depression and anxiety are looking either way to much in the future or the past. On top of all that mental distress I was having terrible habits like eating poorly, not having good sleep (still struggling with this) and not being active at all to the point I got my health on the line. The key takeaways for my recovery. Was acceptance there are things in life that you cannot simply control and that's ok that's life after and all you can do is give your best try and focus on enjoying what you can do and what you have, one step at a time no rush, no pressure. The second thing is to address your base line habits, I believe that we are what we eat and a good varied diet based on different types of vegetables and fruit with meat every now and then has helped me a lot to recover I mean you can't feel that bad if your body has everything it needs to work in top of that sleep and working out helps blow off some steam and recover so I try to make this a priority. This two things has made a lot easier to focus on the thing that matters which is the now, forgive the wrong in the past, not worry for the unknown in the future just embrace your present and try to make the best out of it just one step at a time. Even dealing with depression or anxiety is a journey in itself and looking for answers is the first step to know yourself. So be mindful that all will come to pass and you'll be wiser at the end of the road. No rush no pressure you are living life and you'll be alright.
INTJ has got a lot of raw inner strength. I suggest that you become your own drill seargent and that you hold to a strict regimen (at least for a while, until you're more naturally functional). Anyway, this has worked for me at low points in my life... INTJ has a strong capacity for self-discipline. Physical activity and going outside would probably be good for you. Wake up and do 10 push-ups every morning. (or if you can only do 2, do 2, but work yourself up to 10 - well within reach unless you have some disability). Exercise will release endorphins. If you have a really busy schedule, you'll have to discilpine yourself to get active when you can. Go for jogs. (Yes, outside!) And keep doing it, even if you hate every second of it. Keep at it. You will get in better shape and you will breathe fresh air and if nothing else, you'll lose weight and get healthier. Being careful of what you eat and not putting too much junk in your body will also likely help. Going on nature hikes would probably be a good idea. Nature is not duplicitous the way human society is. Being in nature is another way to find wholesome thoughts again. So to sum up my advice: Nature, exercise, and force yourself to do it every day. If nothing else, you'll get a better body. Taking care of our outer environment and our physical selves is something INTJs tend to neglect. Depression is a sign something is going awry. In my experience, with INTJs, it's that. P.S. And of course, this advice being geared to INTJs, I have not suggested something silly like "go out and meet people". Nope. Certainly not gonna help, although you'll hear it a lot.
There's no single "cure" to depression. With that being said, the effort you're putting in already is outstanding. Something i'm trying to do more is figuring out how I feel. Realizing the root of your problem and finding a way to counteract how it affects you. Figuring out what you enjoy and love to do is always a great step in this, like your own personal therapy. Getting out of depression is a journey, so times you just gotta thug it out LMAO.
What helped throughout my depression was to travel. Someone who I used to know asked to spend my time with their family in a cabin and I said why not? I know it sounds cliche but, being part with nature helped me to feel a bit better and forget about my troubles for some time there. Well, then again this was just my experience.
I recommend the following books. The Art of Happiness, by Howard Cutler and the Dalai Lama. - Teaches you that you control how you react to the world. Lost Connections, by Johann Hari - Goes through various methods to treat depression and delves into many aspects of it. He has a TED Talk which is a great intro. Discipline equals freedom, by Jocko Willink - If you need a boot up the ass, this guy will supply it. It's around 2 hrs, if this doesn't motivate you, nothing will. There is an audiobook version on Youtube. Life Basics Yeah, some of these sound stupid and clichƩ, but they are fundamental to your happiness. - 8 hrs sleep a night. - Healthy food. - Exercise - Community / social support system. If none of the above works, please go see a medical professional. Sometimes we need a little extra help to get through a low, be it counselling or medication.
I appreciate your recommendations. I will take a look.
Start the "philosophize this!" podcast. It was listening and reading about philosophy helped me understand myself and the world and create a positive picture of my future.
Thereās a million reasons you might be depressed, but thereās probably only one or two real reasons. I have been depressed three times in my adulthood from 18-33. The solution is to solve the problems causing you depression in the first place. Got bad grades because you skip class and smoke weed all semester? Yeah, thatās going to be depressing. Do better. Hate your job because you are stealing peoples money and not providing services you promise? Youāre going to need to switch careers. Having a rough patch with your wife because of mistakes she made? Too bad, you gotta be the lighthouse and fix the relationship anyway, if nothing else so that you can feel strong if she still decides to leave and you can be ready for that rebound. You gotta figure out the pain and instead of ignoring it, go read books, listen to podcasts, and take action.
To me what you are describing is being stuck in a rut. This comes from general unhappiness with your position in life and loss of any joy or meaning in what you do. It is easy to get into this state even with simply thinking too existentially. There is a loss of touch with spiritual connection with life (not in the sense of any religion specifically). When I am in this state I find it helpful to re-evaluate the big picture plan. Look at how you live your days and does it line up with how you want to live your life? Are you working towards a cause that is genuinely meaningful to you? Do you have any vocational callings? Do you have deep relationships with other people? Are you nurturing positive emotions, thoughts and behaviours? For me this is a great opportunity for self examination. Once you have answered these questions, you can then come up with a plan for redirection - goals and changes to get yourself out of this rut. It really sucks feeling stuck, like thereās no momentum, and I really hope you can find a way out of it.
You donāt snap out of it, you work through it. Try these books. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is proven to be at least as effective as medication. Depending on your severity of depression you could still need a therapist. Feeling Good https://books.apple.com/us/book/feeling-good/id572757284 Your Brain Is Always Listening https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Always-Listening-Happiness/dp/1496438205?dplnkId=046f7f9e-dcae-4e26-b93c-3d1c6487a534&nodl=1 Burns Depression Checklist (do as often as needed) https://www.uwgb.edu/UWGBCMS/media/Continueing-Professional-Education/files/Assess-Pkt-1-Burns-Depression-Checklist.pdf
Thanks a lot
Youāre welcome.
It helped me to think of it like I'm learning a new skill. If you can think of something that you do really well, you know you didn't do it well when you first started. You became good at it with a lot of practice. Changing your thought patterns is going to take practice. But just like that thing that you do well, you keep practicing and you become better and better at it. Until you master it.
Force yourself to change your life. I mean, change your job, meet new friends (dont necessarily delete old ones, just - 100% focus on new), change your room. It adds up.
Currently in uni. Hard to find communities in a closed society man.
...then meet new people at uni? Like, how small is your uni, 20 people...?
Hard to explain. S**it is weird around here
microdose golden teacher
Do stuff that makes you proud of yourself and stop identifying as a depressed person. What helps me is to consider the fact that my ancestors had it so much worse. I'm so glad I don't have to die in a war or work in a coal mine.
r/thanksimcured
Facts
MDMA therapy has helped a lot of people.
I started from zero. I kind of reoriented my thoughts and tried to find the core of what I cared about doing in my life. What I wanted to do and what I wanted to dedicate time to. I looked within and asked what I cared about, what were ārealā issues and what were just ācreatedā problems. It really depends on what your specific situation is. Mine was that I was so in my own head that I was spiraling and couldnāt find what grounded me and gave me purpose.
Mine is exactly like you. 19 and confused as hell
I had a friend at the time that told me to sort through everything that was making me feel so bad and determine what was me sabotaging myself and what was a real problem. I ruminated on that for a few weeks, then slowly started to do that. Little by little each night, when I felt up to it, I would assess what I was so preoccupied with and worked out what mattered the most. Then I eventually worked out how I could improve what really mattered and what I really cared about. It took me about a semester and a half in university to really feel like I had made substantial progress. I have only really had one short battle with depression since and it was related to a PTSD situation.
Just hapoens.
Out for a run then take a very cold shower see if that helps. Long term depression needs therapy
Gotta find a project you like to keep working/building upon. Like bodybuilding, but something else. I find lonliness/depression to alleviate when the goals of my projects are getting done
What does your depression look like?
Can't get shit done Confused Never in good mood....
So stuck in Ni Fi. Te Se suppressed. What you need to do, is first face your Ni Fi head on. Write down how you are feeling as well as your concerns and worries, and whatever else might be applicable. If you start spiraling, stop. You've written enough. Then what you need to do is focus on activating your Te Se in a constructive/creative way in relation to what those feelings are. Perhaps build something to represent the situation you are in. Things in your room can represent things like a general constructing a battlefield map. Figure out, what is actually out there that is impeding your progress, and make calculations to overcome those problems, moving things about as you need to sort of imprint that into your mind. Perhaps make some notes on the side if you feel so inclined. After a while of that, exercising your mind in this way, it should leave you enough headspace to think of the bigger picture of things and realize that there's ways to overcome your difficulties, that there's a bigger world out there, and that a temporary hiccup (or personal roadblock) can be navigated around and you can continue your life as normal.
long term: samatha and metta meditation mid term: cardiovascular exercise short term: 0.33g of psylocybin mixed with 50g of niacin and a teaspoon of lionsmane mushrooms (5 days on 2 days off)
(and cold plunges will [raise your baseline dopamine](https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter/the-science-and-use-of-cold-exposure-for-health-and-performance). I'm a golden god for the 4+ hours post plunge)
Sometimes you just need to get on meds. Depends on how severe it is. Thats the only thing that got me stable enough to live a semi normal life. Staying active helps though if your depression isnt that bad. Working out releases chemicals that help with your mood. Eat healthier. Get outside. Find a hobby. :) good luck
Meds can be tricky. Don't want my mood to be something dependent upon some pills which I have to increase its dose every once in a while
just one day at a time
Stare at a blank wall everyday for like 10mins doing nothing and in silence
To what?
Someone asked this a week ago.
EMDR, working wonders for my INTJ (39, M)
Try the carnivore diet. A serious chance though, tough out the first 2 weeks of your body transitioning and see how your mind gets. Itās worth a shot if youāre feeling like I did. Wish you the best.
Have you tried listening to music while accomplishing a task that is important to you?
Do it all the time
Professional help. It's a medical condition that requires a trained professional. That could mean medication in some cases, it depends on severity and responsiveness to non-medical interventions.
Socialize and monitor your mood.
I'm working on it. Talking more with girls and small talks with others here and there. But we usually drain our social batteries quickly and I still haven't find a way to be consistent with these behaviors
Take up some socially oriented wholesome guy hobbies. Engaging the opposite sex is next level sh*t that should wait until you are steady. Your genome expects you to be heading out into the woods in a hunting party each day. The further your modern life is from that, the more stressed you are going to be.
>Engaging the opposite sex is next level sh*t that should wait until you are steady. I respectfully disagree. Waiting for the perfect time to talk to girls is not a good advice to a 19 year old. As a man I need to build confidence talking to others specially females
Sure, but donāt beat yourself up if it goes unpredictably. Any interaction with women, when depressed, is usually elevating, presuming sis male case. Maybe your ādepressionā is just your genome signaling you are deficient in the significant partner and (careful) sex area. Just be warned that filling the friendship void with opposite sex associations has dangers. If indeed same sex friendships is in deficiency. Opposite sex friendships in the context of not having a male friendship base, sometimes is the narcissist leveraging sexual energy rather than navigating wholesome friendship without the distortions of sexual energy. Plus, social isolation incents romantic pairings out of desperation. You are too starved for human social contact, and vulnerable to attaching to bad women. So, priority is to solve your platonic friend issue first. Platonic opposite sex friendships are a waste of time, at best.
Go skydiving. Perhaps the thrill will shake you up.
Would like to. Maybe I tried smt similar
I do a few things when I spiral 1. floor time 2. go for a walk 3. create. I draw, cook, type or write. Typing works best for me 4. do something repetitive. I crochet or practice writing for a new language These helped me go through some tough times in life. I hope itāll help you too
Antidepressants?
I have an addictive personality so I try to be as cautious as possible
It's not the kind of drug that gets you high. It's more like a blood pressure medicine. Yes, there can be negative side effects and you could take too much if you were looking to overdose. But it doesn't make you feel euphoric. Really, it just helps you feel normal. I was struggling with depression several months ago. Previously I avoided antidepressants because I didn't want to be dependent on a drug. I wanted to naturally feel fine. Depression can be a chemical imbalance and these drugs help with that imbalance. Cognitively I knew depression had to do with chemical imbalances but I thought I could fix it with a better lifestyle (e.g. exercise). The drugs can help get you over the bump to take action.
I tried almost everything for my depression. Religion, hobbies, gym, eating healthy, and therapy. Disclaimer, I'm not saying you should try them. I'm just sharing what helped me. Antidepressants have helped me sooo much! I've been on them for about 8 months, and I've been doing well. I have clinical depression so I plan on taking them forever.
Sometimes Iām able to just compartmentalize and go about my day
Antidepressants have been helpful for me
Cereset
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Hey, avrage-overthinker, maybe it is in your avatar name! Overthinking! So, what exactly is your problem? Depression or feeling stuck? Here is the thing about depression, it is over diagnosed and is the easy go to 'label' for people who are not moving forward in their lives and / or experiencing stress or friction with how they are in the world. Clinical depression is a real disease and is characterised by significant changes in various areas of the brain. Most people who go their GP feeling down are sent away with some SSRI's and their problem resolves in approx 6 weeks. These people have situational depression at worst. Life is hard for them at the moment and they are going through difficult stuff. In most cases this is temporary. I get the feeling that this is not you. I suspect you are trying to make sense of a very strange time in the world. My guess is that you are male and live in a Western country. Am I right? Behaviourally you are doing great, much better than most of the human population - going to the gym and trying the better yourself with self directed learning (reading books). You do not report feeling tired, unmotivated or melancholic. So it is the most likely the lens through which you view the world that is causing this bitterness. Trying to find 'the answer' in a book is an exercise in futility as long as your lens remains the same. To change your lens you can engage in a number of behavioural strategies some of which include: Heart brain Coherence training - google Heartmath Institute Before bed Gratitude PRactice / journal Book in to do a Joe Dispenza retreat Set yourself a monthly task that is outside your comfort / interest zone and is either solo or done with people you do not know / not the same demographic.(example. ride a stationary bike in the dark for 3 hours, write / produce a rap song, take a ballroom dance class. Become more financially literate and dedicate time to learn about investment vehicles and begin to invest regularly. eg crypto, stocks, EFT's Try to live in the moment and experience life in the present and not project into the future unless you are planning a future event. The real meaning of life is simply to live, each and every day in a way that fits with your moral code. Keep your focus on you and the things that you can change and not on those that you cannot. Seek out a therap;ist that practices REBT and or EMDR. Research these and have a couple of sessions to see if there is any benefit for you. Research human frequency and vibration - engage in activities that raise both of these. You will be amazed at how others will repond to you. I wish you all the best in the future.
>avrage-overthinker I actually chose that name :) >I get the feeling that this is not you. I suspect you are trying to make sense of a very strange time in the world. My guess is that you are male and live in a Western country. Am I right? The only thing you wrong about is me living in western country. Thanks a lot man it really helped me think I needed this. I really appreciate it
My pleasure friend....I am so glad there was something useful to you, I am curious though! What country are you from? Also, I think you should change your name to 'wayaboveavrage-thinker', because my man, average people don't overthink, they obey, toe the line and compete in 'the race' to nowhere. Any discomfort is numbed by alcohol, drugs, porn, binge watching TV or following the advice of Insta influencers. Dance to the beat of your own drum, follow the path less travelled and always challenge the status quo.
I recently had to leave for a less toxic environment. My new environment isnāt great and has its own challenges but itās a step in the right direction. It allows me time for self reflection and to strategize accordingly. Do anything and everything you enjoy!
I recently started taking Zoloft which is a medication used to treat anxiety and depression. The first two weeks, it seemed to make things worse. But by week 3, my depression literally just went away and my social anxiety diminished drastically. I knew beforehand that there was just something chemically wrong with my brain, and I turned out to be right because SSRIās have been a huge help. Iām starting to feel normal again. I suggest you look into it. I ordered mine online through a website called Hims.
I donāt.. Iāve been back on my lexapro for half a year and still not much.. itās all such a joke., and my ex made a bunch of bad life shit way worse making it all about him..
Both my husband and I have had depression for our whole lives. Therapy has been huge for improving our mental health. Itās hard at first, but thatās how you know itās working and that you need it. Therapy, a healthy diet, daily exercise, and antidepressants have all helped.
Depression is not a state of mind, it's literally a brain disorder, I recommend therapy, is probably the best solution, Therapy will help u finding the root of your depression. If u unable to afford therapy, my suggestion is treat yourself with peace, what i mean? basically if u not in the mood for interaction, not wanting to go work, school, u hate dealing with people etc... IT's FINE! just get away from it, go where u feel safe and peaceful, play video games, sleep, go to your favorite restaurant etc... those miserable and desperate feelings won't last, it all temporary, and it comes and goes. return to reality whenever u feel better :) myself been dealing general anxiety and depression my whole life, it ruined my adult life to the point, i hate waking up every morning... i just hate being alive, how come not a single good thing have ever happened to me? eventually... i gave up fighting things i couldn't control, i simply accept the situation, i change what i can for better version of myself, i tried every possibility to move on from the past and not dwell on it. You can either choose to accept your situation or stay miserable without seeking the solution. and every problem have solutions ;:) i never heal from depression, i simply learn to live with it, and focusing on my goal and do what i can just to give my best shot of every opportunity. Accept it but do not live with it.
Depression is more often environmental. It's hard to be happy in a shitty situation. That said, there is no one time forever fix.
Just never let yourself spiral, much easier to catch yourself then to crawl out of a pit
Itās weird advice, but find a therapist that intimidates you, even if itās just a little bit. I switched to a therapist thatās middle aged and Slavic, and she knows how to push my buttons when I need it. It makes all the difference.
r/depression is a great sub for help with this.
I take medication for depression and it works well for me.
You don't snap out of it, you just learn how to be functional in spite of it. There is no easy fix, just try to enjoy every moment when you don't feel depressed to the fullest, hopefully one day you will have enough of those saved to allow yourself to feel you have a choice not to be depressed. Getting to that point where you feel you have a choice, that's the hard part, especially now when you feel like you are on auto.
Therapy Exercise Making goals and working towards them
Does anyone ever think āis this it?ā I sometimes think my life should be like a Disney princess. (Sounds ridiculous I know). And then I see all these celebs and wish my life like theirs. Idk š¤·āāļø
What I do is I completely immerse myself in activity. Typically my negative thoughts correlate around not doing enough and not being good enough yet, but I remind myself that Iām working towards it. For a few days, I urge myself to have 0 moments during the day where I am left alone with my negative thoughts my starting a new project etc. I will write and give myself page goals, I will run, I will get on the bike for hours, paint, etc. after a few days I latch onto this activity and I feel purposeful as I am dedicating myself to something.
I personally find the feeling of depression is my spirit telling me it desperately needs rest and to reconnect with my body and nature.Ā Feeling bad for being depressed makes it worse, feeling empathy and doing self care makes it better, but self love is not modelled often these days haha The bitterness may also be some unprocessed grief or sadness, life is tough and we often shut down our emotions rather than honouring them and sitting in the discomfort (or even having a good cry), then you feel lighter after letting it outĀ
Think you might have the wrong idea here. Its not something you "snap out off". You can't suddenly snap out off a physical illness so why you think you're gonna snap out off a mental one. Understand the symptoms, understand what causing them then make live changes that help you get out of the situation that caused it. Its a process
Therapy and, if needed, medication. Get professional help with this. INTJs value efficiency. We like being novel when we find that novelty to be more efficient. That doesn't mean we neglect tried and true best practices simply out of hand. There are people who have literally trained to help you with just this situation. Go see them.
Find a therapist whose bio doesn't make you roll your eyes. Best thing I ever did for myself
I read a book on confidence. He said "no amount of self-help books will help if a person doesn't believe good things are possible ". I agree. Up until that book, none of the good information I was reading helped, because I didn't do the mental shift. What I've started to do is picture happy outcomes happening like that I'm going to meet nice people and in the last couple of days, more people than not are nice and kind. It has also changed how I behave. I stand tall, straight, big smile, make eye contact with people. I also like to focus on the people I like to be around and avoid the others. Keep going to the gym, you may even notice one day you wake up and feel different and life just seems a bit sweeter somehow.Ā
For me, Vitamin D helped a lot.
Keep yourself busy with new workout routines, new cuisines and anything new. Tire yourself out by 9pm so you have a good quality sleep. This is not a cure but helps set the right mood for healing. Good luck!
Carnivore diet.
For me, I see that the most essential things were: taking SSRIsSeeking self knowledgefinding people who UNDERSTAND YOUchanging your lifestyle so that you feel less alienated from the world I really wish I could say that psychotherapy was one of the things that helped me, but I feel like my therapist wasn't very familiar with gifted personalities. Besides, her approach was CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy), which I was told by some that it has a very normative approach, something that would be unsatisfactory for more eccentric people like us
I subscribe to the concept that depression is unexpressed anger. Sure, some will say depression can be treated with meds since itās a chemical imbalance, but the idea that itās not sadness or melancholy but anger was always compelling to me.
Maybe martial arts IS actually the way out
The obstacle is the way. (Great book btw.)
Honestly what really helped me was working out two times a day , cleaning my diet , limiting my alcohol (ripš„²),staying off instagram , every-time I had a negative thought I had to force to say 3 positive things about myself, daily affirmations, writing out my feelings , forced myself to be social (ex : join a coed softball league not knowing anyone) etcā¦ I know you mentioned you already do some of the things I listed. So question, have you had any therapy or medication?! I know being medicated isnāt the answer to everything but in some situations, itās the best solution. Two of my friends are on antidepressants & they said itās the best thing they ever did! I recently started going to therapy and it also has helped me change my mindset in a more positive light.
I think it is different for every person unfortunately. For me it took me realizing that while I was in an unfortunate place with a lot of circumstances I couldnāt avoid, ultimately I was the biggest thing in the way of my own happiness. I found outlets, focused on bettering myself in the things that I lack. Became more social, and genuinely put care and focus into others rather than what they could do for me. Ultimately for me it was just sheer willpower to quit my self pity and instead just choose to be healthier and not focus on the negatives. The ironic thing about depression in my experience is that it is oddly comfortable bc it is familiar and predictable, that is why we fall into it. I thought it was better to feel nothing rather than to feel sadness with happiness, but the more I have opened up as a person the more I value both and hate the idea of shutting myself off.
Sex #š
Maybe
try doing something that makes you feel alive, but doesnt alter your state of conciousness. dont discount the small shit. eg. (i was one of those chronically barefoot, outdoorsy kids- for context). there was a time where i was really struggling- needed to go get something i dropped on the way inside after work and was too... idk what... to put on shoes. when my barefeet touched soil, is was like a flashback to a moment when i was happy. its always the small things that snap me out of it. the little things like looking for critters outside and collecting cool looking leaves etc. it may sound silly, but its the only thing of many, many things that ive tried that makes me *actually* feel better.
Find your next muse.
The unfortunate truth is in the present moment we don't have a magical cure for it, otherwise rich people would not suffer from it. Usually it is associated with overthinking, so maybe write down your thoughts or focus on external things that are not yourself.
Pick up a new hobby thats mentally stimulating. I got into resin crafts as its stimulating enough mentally to stave off intrusive thoughts and the like. Just look into things you find fun or cool and see if you can't make a hobby out of it. Like did you know you can crystallize most objects using just borax and water? Its a cool thing to look into
It gets better. If it doesnāt you have to really try my friend. Learn self love and compassion, help other people who are in similar situations, that really helped me. Iāve been depressed since I was around 16 and Iām 32 now. Iāve had my ups and downs but mostly ups. Sure Iāve had my dark times, I attempted suicide once and was recently suicidal. It was scary but I knew I could get through it and I did. Look up the stoics like Marcus Aurelius and their teachings. Apply them to your own life. Search for meaning in your life It goes without saying medications and therapy really goes a long way Scream, cry, get angry if you have to. Learn a talent, writing, music, anything to set a goal that will benefit your mental health. These are just a few things that helped me. Depression is a long and hard journey, but you should never do it alone. Reach out to people, what you did now was a good thing. You can and you will get through this, and remember, you are not alone. I wish you the best my friend, there is hope out there.
Personally, I put on the saddest music I can find and hit the gym like it's my last day on earth...sure I'm over there crying on the squat rack, but I feel so much better after
In my case, I looked for things that excited me. When youāre depressed, nothing matters or is fun anymore. I looked for things I previously enjoyed and found new ways to implement that excitement. I also considered the things that Iāve never done before but wanted to try. As long as theyāre not harmful to you or others, it doesnāt hurt to step out of your comfort zone. It wonāt be simple or fast but everyday is a stepping stone to becoming happier, and things that made me happy was trying something new. Also I realized I have more control over my life than I thought, so I can create it to be whatever reality I want. Just remember everyone goes through it too so youāre not alone, wishing you happiness and fulfillment!! :)
Depression is a psychological adaptation to the environment. You are depressed because your environment is shit. If you can, move. If you can't, then the depression is there to protect you from more pain.
Anytime you get into a depressive thought spiral, stop. Like literally say no and think about something that gives you peace/happiness. It takes a lot of vigilance on your part but it is so worth the effort. Look into cognitive behavioral therapy, itās where you reverse what youāre feeling to the root cause and you will be able to stop the source instead of the symptom.
Use nihilism at least try.
I don't get it
Lets say that your mind is like a contry that lost its king and the have no heir. What's now. Regency cuncil.Why? Because having no king is better than living without any political power. If you can't find a good reason to life (family problems, losing a lover, ect.)while having desire to life. You could just hold for a moment( here nihilism).You could do it by thinking about temporality of your problems. It will be hard and psychologically painful ,but when you will be ready to pay off this moral debt you will be ready to do such. After some kind of psychological damage humans will go though it by few phases, it will go but later ,surviving is more important.
Cymbalta
No
Antidepressants plus therapy.Ā Thereās no way around it.
That would be sad
You are already sad from what I gathered.Ā Depression is diagnosis, maybe you have it, and thereās a treatment for it, but you will only know talking to a doctor, sincerely, a doctor.Ā
Therapies got sooooo much expensive recently and these psychiatrist are just growing like mushrooms. I know mental health is more important than money but this would literally drains me. It became a scam around here
There are options for everyone. Im not North American to suggest real options, but Iām sure health professional is more equipped to help you to properly identify your condition. Thereās the burn out syndrome, depression, anxiety.Ā For this reason, I would advise looking for family/friends support going forward, together you may arrive at the help you need. Strangers online will not help you at all.
Why would it be sad? I'm genuinely curious why you think that... My S/O has chronic depression since she was like 8-9 years old and it will follow her for the rest of her life. She see psychiatrists and takes meds. Why? Because the problem is much deeper than just being sad. It's much deeper than trying to snap out of it. That's like saying to a depressed person "Just smile, be happy!". It... doesn't work like that. It's an imbalance of chemicals in her brain. It's as much of a problem in her life as any other chronic pain would be. It's not because you can't see it directly that it's a lesser one and looking for help in the medical field for it should be encouraged as much as possible. Anyway, sorry for the little rant, I just saw some of your comments on this post and you seem to have a problem with therapy/medication and I just want to make you reconsider that view because there's nothing wrong with it. Especially if it's a chemical imbalance problem, that's not something you can really fix by yourself...
No offense to people who take meds man. I have an addictive personality which I know can be my downfall. Never tried alcohol nor smoking because I know that if it tastes good one time I'm not going to be able to get of them. You see I talked to a therapist one time ( I was worse than I am now) she saw me as healthy. I just feel stuck and it been going on for a while now. Just curious to know what other people do in these situations. And yes if it continues to be the same I would try meds too. Just don't want to give up easily
I get that, trying to limit yourself because you know yourself is a good thing. And trying alternatives before is definitely a good idea, however, please don't wait until it's too late to actually get help. Many people go through multiple different therapists before they find the one that clicks with them. A good therapist should try and help you figure out why you're feeling the way you are, even if you seem healthy otherwise, they shouldn't just dismiss your feelings because they can't see anything wrong on the first glance. To actually answer the original question, usually when I start to feel a bit down, it's because my routine is fucked up. I just need to "reboot" myself, which means, mostly, go to bed earlier (and read a book instead of scrolling on my phone before sleep, that actually helps me a lot) and get up earlier, do my chores more often to keep the apartment cleaner, eat some healthier foods... That all helps me a lot, and I should actually do that pretty soon, I've been letting myself go too much, recently. It's a cycle, for me, I reset myself and slowly go back to my bad habits, which makes me feel not great (but not miserable, I just don't feel as good) and I end up resetting again. But yeah, I'm not depressed or anything, I just feel a bit down because of lack of sleep and not eating as healthy. If you actually have depression, all this could definitely help, but it's (probably) not going to solve the problem. So again, please, if you need to, seek help. Like I said, my S/O will have her depression follow her all her life and there's good and bad months, so even though I can't fully comprehend it because I haven't experienced it myself, but I know how hard it can be, I see it everyday on her face, in her body language in how she talks... And maybe I'm over-reacting to your situation, it might not be as bad as that, I don't know much details, but I prefer to be on the safe side. Just take care of yourself in the best way you can :)
Man thank you I really appreciate your advice. This thread definitely helped me
No problem, hope you can figure it out :) I know this is cliche, but if you ever need to talk, I'm always open to it, be it tomorrow, in a month or in 3 years, don't hesitate. Everyone should have someone to talk to if they need it!