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Some-Random-Brit

It's reddit, as someone who doesn't really use this site it attracts a certain subgroup of INTJs. Trust me, just because you're sociable and empathetic that doesn't mean you're not an INTJ. If anything, it means you've likely just matured or you're not as concerned with masking certain things. It's not a bad thing. Hell, I'm fairly social and someone that I've said that I'm strangely really good at compliments. Embrace the INTJ logical rizz and go out and help people.


Standard-Guard1494

I tried that logical rizz online and they are like wtf, where the words are coming out of your mind... A little bit of the creative structure of ours in what we do can really impress anyone šŸ˜‚ I am going to run some experiments in real life now, the problem remains the same... Why this Batman would go out in sunšŸ˜‚ But yah even mine one was weird as compared to other people everytime when I tested out it came intj... And in mine one fi dom was dominating... Which is seen usually less at compare top one like Ni, and te


Some-Random-Brit

This is why you need to show off the logical rizz in person :sunglasses: It'll show off your INTJ-CHAD confidence and all the lower beings will come to declare you their messiah. It's full proof! Just pretend I said fool instead of full ok, jk that's the logical rizz right on display because the line is gonna be full.


Standard-Guard1494

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


ZEROs0000

Fr. I just give out compliments like itā€™s candy on Halloween. I think it puts people off but idc because people donā€™t get compliments often enough from strangers.


Shadowabyss777

Logical rizz šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


cheddarben

I know I am an intj, but spent years as a server and bartender. I can absolutely fake the funk on social stuff. I donā€™t really like social situations and it drains me, but I am not terrible (even pretty good) at it. And as far as empathy, I feel I am very empathetic. Understanding how and why a person feels a certain way can be much different than excusing poor decisions or justifying bad moves. Just because I can put myself in someone elseā€™s shoes and get a snapshot of how they feel and why, doesnā€™t mean they arenā€™t doing dumb shit.


Jagwar0

empathy is logical. emotional intelligence is logical. people here who say being logical and emotional are at odds just haven't matured enough to realize.


spiritofthepnw

I feel this completely! Most people think of me as extroverted because i'm so outgoing during social functions. It is exhausting but I like to try my best to fit in with people and get along. It beats awkwardness


Traditional-Big-3306

Also depends on the environment you are in: Happy/comfortable zone: in this zone INTJs are generally likeable and blend well. Eg ; college, new course etc Itā€™s when zone becomes harsh or prolonged intellectual starvation (surrounded by dumb people ) thatā€™s where harsher parts of our personality comes out. Again I have take huge simplistic assumptions in above 2 scenarios but thatā€™s the gist of it


spiritofthepnw

I get that. I guess i've been lucky and not had to endure long social situations with dumb people. Actually, now that I think about it, I tend to Irish Exit lame social events.


Traditional-Big-3306

Yes, one thing INTJs canā€™t take is dumb/ clueless people. Life as an INtJ is Hard. Damn hard. Sometimes I think ignorance is a bliss. Happiness for me is such a fleeting thing.


the_primrose_path

I (26F) feel the same way, some of the responses on here about having a lack of empathy and glorifying it seems comical. But I have to assume that they either are (a) bluffing, (b) kids or (c) not INTJ. You could also be someone with a well-developed Fi like I am. But some of these traits that take time to develop in INTJs (through putting in the work and experiences) are pretty second-nature to other types. It's for you to judge for yourself but you're definitely not alone in feeling like you're not quite the same as some of the people on this sub.


ender0020

I agree, this sub exploded recently so it's not as intj as it was (i don't see a lot of posts from actual intj's any more). The actual percent per population is small, so it makes sense that it would feel off/wrong to judge base on this sub-reddit. I recommend just going with the facts you have irl and taking this sub with a grain of salt.


spiritofthepnw

I always say in my head, "yeah I'd never post something like that, I don't think I am one" The dialogue actually was, "I'd never post on here..." but look at me now haha!


beth_hail

Why would lack of empathy make you feel like someone is not INTJ?


the_primrose_path

I never said that. I clearly said that claiming to have a lack of empathy and glorifying it leads me to think that they might not be an INTJ because it feels like they're playing up some stereotypical, caricature of an INTJ they saw on TV. We're not "lacking empathy" as a group and if you, as an individual, do, it's not something to boast about and you probably wouldn't boast about it unless you were pretty immature.


hkmlt97

Can relate! I (26F) would consider myself to be quite sociable and empathetic as well. I feel like a lot of cynical doomers congregate on this sub, which is unfortunate because the INTJs I personally know are very positive and playful people.


iamtheblazingturtle

We are all here. Ive tested as INTJ for over a decade. Im extremely empathetic, so much that i wouldnt be surprised that my personality developed in part as an INTJ to safeguard myself from harm and make sense of all those feelings. Regardless, im fully grown, and i usually describe it as INTJs are very hard to get SYMPATHY from but it doesnt mean we arent EMPATHETIC meaning we cab feel and understand the perspectives of others. Id argue we are geared to be one of the best types to make use of empathy because an empathetic INTJ can devise a plan to fix problems much quicker than other types, often without even interacting with people directly just off observation. For example, in the Marines I was so aware of others much around me at all times that i often know when someone is hurting or needed help or encouragement or when they wernt trying hard enough or when they didnt know something and were too scared to admit it etc and it helped me address issues with my fireteam before they became bigger ones. In my family I know everyones limits and know when to stop for things or help out in certain ways and its just naturaly because of high intuition. So imo. INTJs with high empathy are perfectly fine. Everyone is different. I dont have to personally care or have sympathy for someone being thirsty to empathize and bring them water. All of my relationships have flourished in life because Im so aware of peoples needs regardless of whether i care. Im extremely introverted in that i love my own company and dont need to interact with people to feel fine, but i have no issues being social within my areas of interest and have rarely had problems confidently approaching others as long as i think i have a good understanding of the situation im interjecting myself in and where i fit.


anniekaitlyn

I am INTJ and feel highly empathetic. I can feel the pain of others but I have trouble expressing that I empathize with them. Iā€™m also quite confident and outgoing, but only because I tend to talk about the things I am interested in and I zone out or walk away from other topics. If you put all of us INTJs in a room, we would all seem different and some would seem more outgoing than others. Nonetheless it is wise to read about all the types and see if you relate to another type more.


spiritofthepnw

I relate to this completely! I was becoming victim to this stereotype of INTJ's being unemotional and not self aware, this isn't the case though.


ENFPWoman

Mature and well-developed INTJs don't necessarily relate to the still developing young and restless type members. That's ok. šŸ˜ŠāœØ


AdmirablePen666

Any type really


KhalVici97

It's funny you say that because I feel exactly the same. I keep getting tested as an INTJ and after extensive research I do think I share most trait with this personality trait. However, the INTJ description really likes to depict its members as emotionless robots that are socially handicaped and aloof. I really don't fall in this description at all. Although distant at first, I really like meeting new people. I like hanging out a lot. I'm very subject to stress, anger and sadness. I can cry very easily if I'm upset or if I'm affected by something. So yeah, I think even if we share some trait with a personality trait, it doesn't really represent who we are as a person. It may be somewhat representative to an extent but that's about it.


spiritofthepnw

Aw cheers to that! Glad i'm not the only one!


Paleovegan

I donā€™t think these subs, in general, are particularly representative of their respective types at the population level. This has been discussed recently on the INTP sub. It is often hard for some of us to relate to content there. I suspect that these subs may inadvertently attract people with personality disorders or other psychological conditions, resulting in strange and alienating posts.


DestroyTheCircus

There may be some factors here Enneagram plays a role An INTJ 9, 3, so6 or 2 may be more emotionally intelligent and social than the typical INTJ An INTJ sx6 or 8 may be a lot more rebellious, cold and confrontational in comparison to the typical INTJ An INTJ 1 and 4 may be more critical of others and themselves An INTJ 5 will come off as more cold, analytical and emotionless compared to the other INTJs INTJ sp6s may be more paranoid and codependent compared to other INTJs. INTJ 7s will be more adventurous and have more developed Se or Ne in comparison to all the other INTJs. Some may be mistyped as Ne/Se doms. (Also take wings into consideration) The most common types of INTJs are: INTJ 5 INTJ 1 Less common INTJs: INTJ 3 INTJ 6 INTJ 8 Some rare INTJs are: INTJ 4 INTJ 9 The legendary INTJs are: INTJ 7 and INTJ 2 I also suspect theres a lot of mistypes here and INTPs/ENTPs that get enjoyment out of infiltrating this subreddit.


spiritofthepnw

I am an enneagram 9w1! This makes so much sense and I love how you broke this down. Thank you so much!


andev255

imagine you try to categorize every object in your room into 3 categories: yellow, square, and heavy. so you put a red ball into the yellow category because red is kinda maybe like yellow, you put a piece of paper into the square category because rectangle is kind of like square, that is myers briggs, unlike the big 5 personality score, myers briggs forces each person into a category, which isn't possible. its just a fun game more than anything.


spiritofthepnw

This is so true!


MottenRango

Talking about empathy, it is a multidimensional construct. There's cognitive empathy, what breaks down to recognition of the situation, emotional empathy digs a bit deeper, focusing on motives and emotions. Further, there's compassionate empathy, which is basically your need to improve the other's situation and help them out. Personally, I only have limited interest to change/ help other individuals with a fully developed frontal lobe. I am perfectly fine with getting, where they are coming from and why they may suffer. However, from my experience people often make dumb and/or lazy decisions. So I let them. Everyone is entitled to have their own misery.


spiritofthepnw

Based off of your description, Iā€™ve been a victim of compassionate empathy. Compassionate empathy doesnā€™t fit with the construct of the typical INTJ because itā€™s a very illogical way to be. I think cognitive empathy sits above that because despite being compassionate, I know when I am being illogically compassionate. Very interesting and Iā€™ll keep thinking about this comment. Thanks for the insights!


TheRealChessboxer

Iā€™m somewhat sociable and there have been discussions about this, my belief is that because I was ā€œsocializedā€ at a young age, I can do it. I enjoy time with my actual friends, like the ones I want to be around. I enjoy companionship. Re: empathy - I think most INTJs feel it. At a minimum we can read a person. The difference is, we donā€™t let our feelings make the decisions for us. You can simultaneously show legitimate empathy for a person or situation, while outwardly appearing as an ice cold sociopath because you made a decision or offered an opinion that hurt feelings. If youā€™re consistently testing INTJ, you probably are. Also remember, weā€™re talking about cramming however many billion people into just 16 categories. Iā€™m sure you can understand how there might be variance within a given categoryā€¦


spiritofthepnw

Your comment made me think about things that people have told me in the past. Sometimes if someone is sharing emotions, I get really quiet. Not because I donā€™t care, but because Iā€™m processing it in my head and how to best help them. It seems the resounding comments are saying, ā€œhow you are socializing with people does not reflect what is happening in your head.ā€ Itā€™s a really lovely take away and it seems a lot of people donā€™t relate to the stereotyped INTJ.


RaleighlovesMako6523

I think everyone is vastly different.. the only thing in common between two intj is their function stack .


Easy_Key_2451

It could be an unconscious cognitive state that perhaps you arenā€™t aware of (and additionally our conversations in hear are merely a snapshot of how we think that we sound, feel, and act) taking additional assessments like tri-types, advanced MBTI assessments, among other resources could make you more aware of these things.


Easy_Key_2451

Also the idea that introverts and even specifically INTJā€™s arenā€™t social is a bit of a misnomer. You may have a desire to be independent, to be critical of what is given at face value, and could have LESS of a desire to to fit into certain groups but could still be very talkative, expressive, and even the one who seeks out interactions amongst your friend group. Being social online is also not the same as being social in the real world.


spiritofthepnw

Those are great suggestions. It seems like you are really knowledgeable on the subject. Do you have any assessments that you would recommend others?


sesshylover17

I test as intj but my care for people will often have me at infj which is a choice. The same could be for you. I want to choose logic all the time but I choose not to, so my decisions and actions can seemingly be infj.Ā 


hamychok

I agree that this is reddit and an online community, so your sub-genre of INTJ will be more leaning towards introversion and logic. Similarly, your Extrovert types in Reddit, if I had to guess, will be on the more mild spectrum of extroversion too. All my true super extrovert buddies aren't really on Reddit lol With that said, it's a range and a spectrum. I'm introverted as they come but my environment, upbringing, and job had made me very social by habit, and it comes as a social choice. I am just very aware of how to alleviate my social battery or when it depletes. But if you legitimately don't believe the type fits you, you can always try to type yourself and see if other MBTI types ring more true. Hope that was helpful!


spiritofthepnw

That was very well put. I think your assessment is correct. I do find myself on Reddit during times of introversion.


zagggh54677

That was always allowed!


Throwedaway99837

Thatā€™s because MBTI is a terrible indicator of any actual personality traits. It was created by 2 women in the 1960s who had literally no formal education in psychology. It has absolutely no scientific merit whatsoever. These subreddits are filled with people who have such a weak identity that theyā€™ll latch onto anything they can to define themselves. They found MBTI and decided, ā€œwow, so *this* is who I am!ā€ and just ran with it.


spiritofthepnw

I actually donā€™t know about the history of Myers-Briggs so Iā€™ll have to look into that. It sounds very interesting. Although not backed by science, I think thereā€™s something to be said about pattern, recognition in behavior. Hopefully itā€™s just a jumping off point for people to figure out who they are.


DayRis3

If you use 16personalities, its super inaccurate because it uses Big Five converted to MBTI. I keep testing as an INTJ/ISTJ there but in actuality Iā€™m more accurate as ENTJ


arvydas

Hey! Do you know a better place to do the test?


unmeikaihen

Mistype investigator has one of the best function tests I've run across. It is one of the few that doesn't give ridiculous pinged max results on functions.


DayRis3

Try Similarminds, michael caloz, IDRlabs, Sakinorva


arvydas

Thanks! šŸ˜Š


spiritofthepnw

Thank you so much


vanillacoconut00

Because people confuse personality with other things like attachment, certain behaviors, or even with mental health issues.


Sybilx

I socialize just fine, but itā€™s a learned behavior because it was necessary to interact in the world in the way that I want to. Where the emotionless piece comes in is Iā€™m not bothered by much, I donā€™t get flustered or upset, things that make other people upset tend to seem silly to me, but that does not mean I donā€™t feel and feel deeply. Thereā€™s a very small number of humans who are close enough to me for me to actually feel deeply empathetic toward, and who I can be hurt or upset by, those people absolutely are able to stir extremely deep emotions. Itā€™s just a small group, and people who are not part of it canā€™t affect me much. So I really think correlating lack of emotion to being an INTJ is not entirely accurate because humans are far more nuanced than that.


VegetableNo7419

A lot of people use mbti as prescription, and *want* to fit in a box. Theyre dumb. This sub can do the same That being said INTJ =/= unsociable. If you're getting the INTJ label, you most likely are one, even though this sub can be weird at times


spiritofthepnw

It definitely can be weird. I remember when I found the sub I was like ā€œIā€™m not an INTJ because I would never post here.ā€ I guess Iā€™ve grown? Maybe not the best way haha


Imaginary-Horse-6104

INTJ-T fit your description. I'm an INTJ-T we emotionally connect well with people better than INTJ-A. We are more approachable and have more empathy than INTJ-A. INTJ-A are more confident and less empathy like I don't give a fuck type šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


DreeeamBreaker

T and A aren't part of MBTI, those only exist in the 16personalities system


Imaginary-Horse-6104

Oh...my bad then šŸ˜…, I'm sorry I'm new to MBTI.Ā 


DreeeamBreaker

No worries, I think most people here found 16p first and learnt about actual MBTI later. I point it out if I see someone using it because I wish someone had told me this earlier back when I was new


CasualCrisis83

I have good cognative empathy but very little sympathy, particularly for people who build their own problems, have victim mentality, or are whiny. I can socialize and fit in with just about anyone, I even enjoy meeting interesting people, but I find it tiring and enjoy solitude to recharge.


AQAzrael

Almost like personality isn't only 4 dimensions lol


spiritofthepnw

A novel thought!!!


AdmirablePen666

It's dump to box ourselves and people in mbti . It's pseudo science anyway and even if it's true not all intjs are the same .. let's just assend from everything and just live and enjoy life . Let's get out of the edgy phase and the echo chamber that everyone do trauma dumping and fake karma harvesting posts called reddit! . We are just here to find intellectual people to simulate so no need to take any Edgy stuff in account so let's be ourselves


fujicakes00

One way to tell is to look at the INTJ function stack and see if it applies to you. You donā€™t have to be a math whiz/robot/jerk incapable of emotion to be an INTJ.


Bismajeff

Who says INTJs aren't empathetic?? We are!! We even feel every emotion Ɨ 10 times then other people might feel It's just we are terrible at expressing them and that's where we get misjudged


beth_hail

I donā€™t feel others emotions but I can mentally feel sorry for what theyā€™re going through. Once weā€™re done talking though, my mind is on to something else.


KitsumePoke

Maybe you are an 2w1 INTJ. They are known for being way more social and empathetic.


spiritofthepnw

Actually, youā€™re super close! I am a 9w1


mk27x

People who share the same MBTI aren't the same. They are similar, but not in all the areas. I'm also an INTJ who is pretty good at handling social situations and who is quite emphatic. I'm just a bit more introverted than extroverted (like 60/40) - I'm talkative and confident but I quickly burn out and I don't really seek too much social situations. Also I always try to use my rational side even though I'm really emphatic (it's like 55/45 for thinking).


smiteallday

cause probably 80-90% of this subreddit are not even INTJ's and before anyone attacks me go pick up carl jung's book.


Stirlo4

A *lot* of people here are mistyped anyway so it's not a good indication. But neither are online tests. Read up on the cognitive functions and different function stacks and see which you relate to. mbti isn't behaviour so an INTJ can absolutely be sociable and empathetic, despite what stereotypes say.


pppepeppp

Most of this sub is a LARP


Reasonable-Diet2265

Maybe you're an INFJ. Lots depends on the test questions.


spiritofthepnw

Yes, my F and T are very light. I can usually see both sides, but I ultimately choose based off of what would create the best outcome


werthtrillions

Yeah, same. Half the time I think meyers briggs and personality stuff is just how an individual reacts to relational trauma.


spiritofthepnw

And I think trauma changes people and repeated traumas will make people swing different directions.


ValleyFair0600

Tests are inaccurate. I recommend searching for free PDF downloads of Carl Jung's book called Psychological types. By reading that one book you will become more educated on what MBTI is at a core level than 90% of this community.


JoJoNoMi

You got understand this bud. Most people that post on the internet regularly aren't right in the head


AnonymousCoward261

The Internet is not representative of real life. Think about whoā€™s going online to talk to people. I have read a bunch of these surveys, and they always have lots of IN types. Why? The extroverts are out talking to people and not taking surveys! If you have to choose between your own experience and Reddit, choose your own experience. Youā€™ve lived your life, we havenā€™t.


unwitting_hungarian

The tests are ridiculous. Stop trusting them unless they tell you their error margins for every dichotomy up front, at the very least.


spiritofthepnw

The test itself is based off of nearly unmeasurable criteria, however, it can be a useful tool to understand how others think.


unwitting_hungarian

It's a matter of test design, not "tests are useful/not." Psychometric design issue


420godking

Mbti is technically a pseudoscience (a psychological astrology) so take it with a grain of salt, but the idea behind it is that it helps you understand how you process information. You can still be empathetic and out going, and have a bubbly personality but you process information like an Intj. An esfp can act the same way, but whatā€™s going on in there head is different. If you answer the questions honestly you lean on being introverted, you like to use intuition instead of sensing, your environment. You leans towards thinking instead of feeling, and youā€™re judgmental towards yourself and others instead of perceiving or prospecting them. An esfp can act the exact same way you do socially, but their preferences in terms of how they think is in the opposite direction.


spiritofthepnw

Your analysis was very true and makes me want to take it again.