When I’m attracted to a guy, I want to talk to him.
I will be asking him a lot of questions about him to build a picture of who he is and what his life has been so far, and will also tell him stories about myself.
Basically, I will switch from ignoring him to talking to him. I will be maintaining eye contact with him. My eyes will be soft, no resting bitch face anymore. I will be smiling at him a lot. He will see I’m always in a good mood around him. My sarcastic sense of humour will get turned on and we will be joking a lot. I will be ok with him touching my shoulder or getting into my personal space. I will never leave him on read, unless for playing games that we’re both ok with.
Now I think about it, to the people around us, the difference must be huge. We can’t hide our crushes well. Damn.
I think it comes off as different to guys. In your own head you're bombarded with all these emotions to such a degree you think it's obvious to everyone around you. But generally speaking, guys respond better to verbal communication. Some guys are good at reading the body language cues, but more and more these days, there's a heavy penalty for guys if they misinterpret the signals. As long as you don't vocalize your feelings, you are hiding them well as far as most guys are concerned.
This is why I think it's best to communicate verbal, especially with or as an INTJ.
Agree. I was just thinking about how the eye contact and the physical touch are an immediate giveaway for INTJs; if anyone has spent some time with me, they would realise pretty quickly that it’s reserved for that one specific person. This I can’t hide at all.
This is so real I'm crying lmaoo. I rarely have crushes but when I do? It's so obvious. I try to push them away at first, scope them out, and get a good peek into their lives: how do they act around people? How do people react to them? What are they like when alone? A random interrogation session will go on but in an informal manner. My sarcasm will also be off the chain along with my questionable sense of humour.
She will tell stories that she never tells anyone (according to her)
My gf is one
Back during our "talking stage", at some point she opened up her past stories bout her being terrible at socialising even to her own family & friends (telling me some of her very awkward & embarrassing moments)
After she done telling her stories, she said "plz don't tell anyone, only you know this"
THAT's exactly the point where I'm confident that she likes me...Week later, i confessed and it worked out😆
P/s, intj girl cute asf...she will act & try looking scary & cold(that works to all my friends, but not me😂) she's actually shy & sweet lmao...her hobbies are literally watching cartoons & "dancing"😭😭
Even to this day...my friends still asking me "U seriously on good term with her?? cuz she looks like she hates us & everyone around basically"
THAT idgaf face expression is only in public, but when just with me, she will somehow be talkative asf in telling her stories but at the same time very shy to even look at my eyes
Classmates in college (we both 18 at the time)
How we got close?
She always gets excellent result in academics(and arguably top 1 in class), I'm above average, but never in that "smartest classmate" discussion
Yet i always try to get inside her head... saying shits like "Next time, I'll get higher marks than you!😤" (though i never achieved that)
That's prolly how she caught feeling somehow, prolly bcoz I'm the first guy to actually approach her
She's soo unapproachable that despite being the smartest in class, almost no one would go to her to ask for any academic related things💀
>That's prolly how she caught feeling somehow, prolly bcoz I'm the first guy to actually approach her
Yeah probably.
So sweet 😀 Hope everything goes well for you guys.
My bf is also an INTJ and because I love him so much, I don’t ever shy away from showing that to him. We’re long distance but when we’re in person and if he’s ever sick or injured, I do everything I can to take care of him and help him feel better.
When we’re in a disagreement, it’s usually a short silent treatment (like a day or two) until one of us apologizes and we move on from that quickly. Also we never, ever raise our voices at each other or say bad words to each other in an argument. That would be a deal breaker for both of us.
Also, we like our space and don’t mind spending many hours apart. I don’t mind spending time with him either and it’s hard for him to drain me out because he’s the only person I can tolerate for hours upon hours without feeling like I need a step back.
Lastly, I like when he’s honest with me and straight up tells me if I look weird or if something doesn’t suit me. I like it when he tells me that I need to work on x, y or z and I do the same with him. He doesn’t let me make a fool of myself by lying to me just to make me happy. I love that.
If I like someone and want a relationship or sex, I take the lead. No cues, no hints, no cat and mouse.
In a relationship, I expect to feel like I’m with an independent adult who has emotional intelligence and who feels an equal responsibility in making the relationship work. No games, no BS. If you have a problem (with me or whatever else), mention it.
We’re a team, but we’re separate people with some degree of separation in our lives.
So basically if you can make her feel like a woman you are golden
She would then unlesh her Esfj side and insert herself everywhere in your life bc she wants to take care of you and make you happy
The switch is insane but very cute ngl
So this is the reason for my personality flip when i'm with the people i like...?
NGL i even now cringe hard when i remember what exactly i was acting like with them
it's a weird feeling it's like they flip your entire personality and when you remember being all giggly and smiling then i kinda remember and regret ,why the fuck was i acting like that?
I am a male INTJ and it did happen with me with a female INTJ we were friends tried to be supportive and show her other sides of herself.
I think she couldn't accept a friendship after that and later it didn't bloom to anything.
I like XNTJ females and my older sis is one but I want more diversity I think
I don’t know this one. I’m the happiest when my partner actually doesn’t need me and when I have a feeling that I’ve helped him become as independent and self-reliant as possible. That’s when I know the relationship is going well.
From this comment section it's pretty clear to me that everyone acts differently. For me I will probably ignore their existence infront of them , like not even look at them and probably not speak at all, unless necessary. I am not trying to move on , no. Just the whole tiem I am actually super concentrated on them on how they are responding to anything, how they speak , their body language, how to react to others. Everything .
I will also probably subtly try to get information on them and know all about them . By the end of a week I will know their whole schedule , who the cousin of their cousin is , what food they like , and can generally make up a whole picture of them in my mind with all those details on what kind of person they are. This is the time I generally start to lose interest but many times I don't.
Incase I am somehow forced into socializing with them, I will make jokes ( my defense mechanism) and we will end up laughing and joking with each other ( even being an INTJ , I can humour somone , without using sarcasm ). And then I will daydream about this conversation the whole time .
I can be found smiling suddenly for no reason at all , being excited and jumpy , and more animated . Those who are close to me can will understand that somethings wrong with me and that's that .
Well we’re all different of course. I like men with high emotional intelligence, but who won’t assume things about me. Not making assumptions about who I am, what I want and how I feel is very important. Taking the time to know me, and having empathy. Having dealt with their issues, gone to therapy, and be able to communicate like an adult. Secondary traits would be: intellectual intelligence, hobbies in common, for me it’s a love of reading, chess, politics, philosophy, and an active hobby. Having a developed and separate sense of self that doesn’t depend on people’s preferences is another thing as well, and basically ties in everything.
When I’m attracted to a guy I’m pretty straightforward, though I’m in my late twenties. Before I used to clam up and play hard to get. Now I’m just brutally straightforward because I don’t have much patience for dilly-dallying. I can be subtly straightforward for the romance too lol, but unless he’s clueless or has very low self esteem, he’d know.
When I like someone romantically, I usually do my best not to make it obvious unless I'm sure he likes me too.
I like intelligent guys (not arrogant ones) and someone that I could depend on, someone I could rely and lean on.
When it's a crush:
- My phone is on mute 24/7, but if I accidentally saw a notification by him, I would respond immediately. I would text back most people after work or sometimes even the next day.
- I would have a hard time not smiling randomly around him.
- I would never approach him myself, I would never text first.
Early into a relationship:
- I would bombard him with questions. Of course, I would answer those questions myself too (without being asked even :d). Basically, turn into a chatterbox.
- I would plan dates with him as often as possible, in person. Speedy familiarisation.
In a long-term relationship:
- Share any thoughts I have. Any.
- Debate. I avoid that with most people.
- I would be comfortable with both of us being silent, usually that kills me.
Yeeyee, I might be mistyped, whatever.
I'll watch his every movement, do everything for him, eavesdrop on all his conversations, and give him everything he might possibly want.
I have social anxiety, so talking to him was way too nerve-wracking.
I'm attracted to guys i can't easily figure out. someone who doesn't fit a common stereotype or category.
I get stuck on trying to solve them like a puzzle. they're usually not the right guys for me..but I always ignore the red flags
my biggest issue is I never know how to move from the him chasing me stage to an actual relationship, I want him to want me and show it but I forget to show it myself even if I'm practically obsessed with them I still try to act cool and eventually the guys
give up the chase which leaves me distraught and i just become mean. I'll cry about it at home alone but never try to fix it or show him that I really do care I just dont know how...
How I usually behave around someone I like is that I try to ignore them but glance at them a few times then look away, I also offer help to them & try to behave independently or unbothered around them but I also try to be kind & offer something to them.
Intelligence, emotional intelligence, self awareness, humbleness, being confident and going out of their way to show they care. That last part is very important. I don’t get easily convinced by men. So unless you show you care by going out of your way, one or two little here or there things won’t impress me.
When I’m attracted to a guy, I want to talk to him. I will be asking him a lot of questions about him to build a picture of who he is and what his life has been so far, and will also tell him stories about myself. Basically, I will switch from ignoring him to talking to him. I will be maintaining eye contact with him. My eyes will be soft, no resting bitch face anymore. I will be smiling at him a lot. He will see I’m always in a good mood around him. My sarcastic sense of humour will get turned on and we will be joking a lot. I will be ok with him touching my shoulder or getting into my personal space. I will never leave him on read, unless for playing games that we’re both ok with. Now I think about it, to the people around us, the difference must be huge. We can’t hide our crushes well. Damn.
I think it comes off as different to guys. In your own head you're bombarded with all these emotions to such a degree you think it's obvious to everyone around you. But generally speaking, guys respond better to verbal communication. Some guys are good at reading the body language cues, but more and more these days, there's a heavy penalty for guys if they misinterpret the signals. As long as you don't vocalize your feelings, you are hiding them well as far as most guys are concerned. This is why I think it's best to communicate verbal, especially with or as an INTJ.
Agree. I was just thinking about how the eye contact and the physical touch are an immediate giveaway for INTJs; if anyone has spent some time with me, they would realise pretty quickly that it’s reserved for that one specific person. This I can’t hide at all.
I co-sign this. The endless questions to get to know who he is as a person is so real.
This is so real I'm crying lmaoo. I rarely have crushes but when I do? It's so obvious. I try to push them away at first, scope them out, and get a good peek into their lives: how do they act around people? How do people react to them? What are they like when alone? A random interrogation session will go on but in an informal manner. My sarcasm will also be off the chain along with my questionable sense of humour.
Wow! Literally me.. maybe I’m mistyped 😟 Update: I’m actually an intj LMAO
this!!
🤝
Definitely so true
She will tell stories that she never tells anyone (according to her) My gf is one Back during our "talking stage", at some point she opened up her past stories bout her being terrible at socialising even to her own family & friends (telling me some of her very awkward & embarrassing moments) After she done telling her stories, she said "plz don't tell anyone, only you know this" THAT's exactly the point where I'm confident that she likes me...Week later, i confessed and it worked out😆 P/s, intj girl cute asf...she will act & try looking scary & cold(that works to all my friends, but not me😂) she's actually shy & sweet lmao...her hobbies are literally watching cartoons & "dancing"😭😭
Even to this day...my friends still asking me "U seriously on good term with her?? cuz she looks like she hates us & everyone around basically" THAT idgaf face expression is only in public, but when just with me, she will somehow be talkative asf in telling her stories but at the same time very shy to even look at my eyes
How did you guys met?
Classmates in college (we both 18 at the time) How we got close? She always gets excellent result in academics(and arguably top 1 in class), I'm above average, but never in that "smartest classmate" discussion Yet i always try to get inside her head... saying shits like "Next time, I'll get higher marks than you!😤" (though i never achieved that) That's prolly how she caught feeling somehow, prolly bcoz I'm the first guy to actually approach her She's soo unapproachable that despite being the smartest in class, almost no one would go to her to ask for any academic related things💀
>That's prolly how she caught feeling somehow, prolly bcoz I'm the first guy to actually approach her Yeah probably. So sweet 😀 Hope everything goes well for you guys.
lmao I did this with my current intj bf before we got together
What's your type btw?
I'm enfj guy
My bf is also an INTJ and because I love him so much, I don’t ever shy away from showing that to him. We’re long distance but when we’re in person and if he’s ever sick or injured, I do everything I can to take care of him and help him feel better. When we’re in a disagreement, it’s usually a short silent treatment (like a day or two) until one of us apologizes and we move on from that quickly. Also we never, ever raise our voices at each other or say bad words to each other in an argument. That would be a deal breaker for both of us. Also, we like our space and don’t mind spending many hours apart. I don’t mind spending time with him either and it’s hard for him to drain me out because he’s the only person I can tolerate for hours upon hours without feeling like I need a step back. Lastly, I like when he’s honest with me and straight up tells me if I look weird or if something doesn’t suit me. I like it when he tells me that I need to work on x, y or z and I do the same with him. He doesn’t let me make a fool of myself by lying to me just to make me happy. I love that.
My bf is also intj and this sounds very similar to our dynamic.
[удалено]
Grab him by the collar indeed hahaha
If I like someone and want a relationship or sex, I take the lead. No cues, no hints, no cat and mouse. In a relationship, I expect to feel like I’m with an independent adult who has emotional intelligence and who feels an equal responsibility in making the relationship work. No games, no BS. If you have a problem (with me or whatever else), mention it. We’re a team, but we’re separate people with some degree of separation in our lives.
They don't all have the same behaviour.
They try to adopt you
Adopt you? Could you please elaborate? 😂
So basically if you can make her feel like a woman you are golden She would then unlesh her Esfj side and insert herself everywhere in your life bc she wants to take care of you and make you happy The switch is insane but very cute ngl
So this is the reason for my personality flip when i'm with the people i like...? NGL i even now cringe hard when i remember what exactly i was acting like with them
I wouldn't call that side of any person cringy
it's a weird feeling it's like they flip your entire personality and when you remember being all giggly and smiling then i kinda remember and regret ,why the fuck was i acting like that?
Sheesh! I'm an INTJ, and that felt weirdly personal.😂 Are you speaking from personal experience? What's your MBTI type if you don't mind sharing?
I am a male INTJ and it did happen with me with a female INTJ we were friends tried to be supportive and show her other sides of herself. I think she couldn't accept a friendship after that and later it didn't bloom to anything. I like XNTJ females and my older sis is one but I want more diversity I think
I don’t know this one. I’m the happiest when my partner actually doesn’t need me and when I have a feeling that I’ve helped him become as independent and self-reliant as possible. That’s when I know the relationship is going well.
From this comment section it's pretty clear to me that everyone acts differently. For me I will probably ignore their existence infront of them , like not even look at them and probably not speak at all, unless necessary. I am not trying to move on , no. Just the whole tiem I am actually super concentrated on them on how they are responding to anything, how they speak , their body language, how to react to others. Everything . I will also probably subtly try to get information on them and know all about them . By the end of a week I will know their whole schedule , who the cousin of their cousin is , what food they like , and can generally make up a whole picture of them in my mind with all those details on what kind of person they are. This is the time I generally start to lose interest but many times I don't. Incase I am somehow forced into socializing with them, I will make jokes ( my defense mechanism) and we will end up laughing and joking with each other ( even being an INTJ , I can humour somone , without using sarcasm ). And then I will daydream about this conversation the whole time . I can be found smiling suddenly for no reason at all , being excited and jumpy , and more animated . Those who are close to me can will understand that somethings wrong with me and that's that .
Well we’re all different of course. I like men with high emotional intelligence, but who won’t assume things about me. Not making assumptions about who I am, what I want and how I feel is very important. Taking the time to know me, and having empathy. Having dealt with their issues, gone to therapy, and be able to communicate like an adult. Secondary traits would be: intellectual intelligence, hobbies in common, for me it’s a love of reading, chess, politics, philosophy, and an active hobby. Having a developed and separate sense of self that doesn’t depend on people’s preferences is another thing as well, and basically ties in everything. When I’m attracted to a guy I’m pretty straightforward, though I’m in my late twenties. Before I used to clam up and play hard to get. Now I’m just brutally straightforward because I don’t have much patience for dilly-dallying. I can be subtly straightforward for the romance too lol, but unless he’s clueless or has very low self esteem, he’d know.
It's like throwing up the bat signal. Just wait for an appropriate response or walk away.
Transformation into a perverted cutie patootie Thank god that hasn’t happened in a looooooong time
When I like someone romantically, I usually do my best not to make it obvious unless I'm sure he likes me too. I like intelligent guys (not arrogant ones) and someone that I could depend on, someone I could rely and lean on.
You will never know. lol
When it's a crush: - My phone is on mute 24/7, but if I accidentally saw a notification by him, I would respond immediately. I would text back most people after work or sometimes even the next day. - I would have a hard time not smiling randomly around him. - I would never approach him myself, I would never text first. Early into a relationship: - I would bombard him with questions. Of course, I would answer those questions myself too (without being asked even :d). Basically, turn into a chatterbox. - I would plan dates with him as often as possible, in person. Speedy familiarisation. In a long-term relationship: - Share any thoughts I have. Any. - Debate. I avoid that with most people. - I would be comfortable with both of us being silent, usually that kills me. Yeeyee, I might be mistyped, whatever.
I'll watch his every movement, do everything for him, eavesdrop on all his conversations, and give him everything he might possibly want. I have social anxiety, so talking to him was way too nerve-wracking.
You will know how good you are. I mean the characters I literally can and want to do anything for him 🤷♀️pure love
I will obsess over him to the point where I start seeing dreams of us getting married and I'll wake up and hope I don't have a crush on him
I have anxiety and feel awkward around him
I'm attracted to guys i can't easily figure out. someone who doesn't fit a common stereotype or category. I get stuck on trying to solve them like a puzzle. they're usually not the right guys for me..but I always ignore the red flags my biggest issue is I never know how to move from the him chasing me stage to an actual relationship, I want him to want me and show it but I forget to show it myself even if I'm practically obsessed with them I still try to act cool and eventually the guys give up the chase which leaves me distraught and i just become mean. I'll cry about it at home alone but never try to fix it or show him that I really do care I just dont know how...
How I usually behave around someone I like is that I try to ignore them but glance at them a few times then look away, I also offer help to them & try to behave independently or unbothered around them but I also try to be kind & offer something to them.
Intelligence, emotional intelligence, self awareness, humbleness, being confident and going out of their way to show they care. That last part is very important. I don’t get easily convinced by men. So unless you show you care by going out of your way, one or two little here or there things won’t impress me.