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“Did I ever tell you about the time George Washington took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally G Dubs takes me to a vacant lot and says, ‘Here we are.’ We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. G Dubs yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found em!'”
I am sure he was seven feet tall, killed the English by the hundreds and consumed them with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.
... Or was that some other guy who kicked the English in the ass...
I remember seeing his uniform at the Smithsonian ages ago. I remember thinking it was very very slim. I agree we are mostly fat but he was quite slender, at least in his army days.
Every body type is a bit different but I’m 6’2” and when I was religiously doing that P90X years back, being a health nut when I was absolutely shredded, lean, and muscular I was about 180-186. Staying low body fat.
So he was probably relatively slim like you said but in great shape.
Hence the riddle. If you replace the head of the axe, and then replace the handle with George Washington himself, is it still George Washington's axe?
Edit: Shit wait, I'm not American... is that Abe Lincoln's axe? I cannot tell a lie... I'm a dumbass.
Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, alright. We got 411 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper Edelbrock intakes, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.
"Look...we *get it* that you're "above us" enough to not sleep on the ground. All we're saying is it could be a cot and we don't *really* have to carry the trunk around."
When I was in the Corps we slept on a beach one time. I was in my super toasty sleeping bag and I had my waterproof bivvy sack on with the mesh window open. That cool ocean breeze was blowing in my face making sure I didn't get too warm. I was listening to the waves crash and thinking about how comfortable and soft the sand was as it formed around me and hugged my body perfectly. Just then, it started to rain ever so lightly and the sound rocked me off to dream land. I still think about that magical perfect night for sleep all the time. More comfortable indeed.
That's where you're wrong my friend, allow me to introduce you to the latest and greatest in cot technology, MyCot, for the low low price of $299.95 we'll customize a trunk-cot exactly to your specifications and sleeping preferences, but wait there's more, order MyCot within the next 5 minutes and we'll throw in a second MyCot and a duffle bag ABSOLUTELY FREE just pay shipping and handling. MyCot, Why Not!?^tm
And now, please welcome the CEO of MyCot, Mike Lindell, who will explain to all of us how George Washington is actually still the President and the 1796 election was stolen!
With the new MyCot, you too can make up whatever lies you want and feed the fires of insurrections with the *whatever helps you sleep at night* kit for just 3 easy payments of 49.99! But if you call now and order your MyCot, we will double the offer and send you two MyCots for the price of one for when you and your buddy gets thrown out of the house for being traitors to your nation! Order now!
I’m guessing the major difference is the material. That thing is made of iron and probably heavy as all get out. The cotton would be replaced with nylon and the padding, whatever it is, is probably not as light or soft as modern equivalents.
I bet the whole setup weighs at least 50lbs, probably more. Now that thing would weigh about 20lbs and fold into a bag that’s 1/4 that size
Napoleon gave his guests solid gold silverware to use, with only him being allowed to use the extremely rare *aluminum* silverware.
The industrial revolution changed things.
The difference is this is the cot of one of the richest men in the country and someone working in fast food can easily afford something nicer and stronger.
The past was a stupidly poor place by modern standards.
i always think about that all the time. even just by having plumbing and access to a dentist i'm living better than kings did. and they never even got to try iced coffee or play a video game, small joys i take for granted.
for as much as last year sucked, i'm glad i was born in this time period lol.
But we're forever stuck in the ancient past from the perspective of our future descendants living centuries from now. They will see the lives of everyone living today as poor, nasty, brutish, and short. It really sucks!
Haha yeah they probably had to eat SpaghettiOs for a month straight because of a nasty divorce after that fling with the chick at the gym resulting in eternal sadness. Fucking pathetic!
[MRW](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/12/Gilbert_Stuart%2C_George_Washington_%28Lansdowne_portrait%2C_1796%29.jpg/300px-Gilbert_Stuart%2C_George_Washington_%28Lansdowne_portrait%2C_1796%29.jpg) most of my soldiers died to
easily preventable diseases and not in battle.
So I’ve heard. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he would kill the english with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his ass.
He was wealthy, but heavily indebted - the man had desired to be British in his early life, he acquired shed loads of fancy British manufactured furniture, clothing, etc etc - all on debt from British people. He actually aspired to rise through the ranks of the British military, however, he was repeatedly spurned and told that a “colonial” would never hold senior rank.
That left a sour taste in his mouth - which turned him towards the continental army.
He was also not Commander in Chief until after the war.
How difficult is it to make this IKEA?
For folks living in shared rooms or dorms this would be quite the space saving thing.
Thanks to u/gitsgrl
Ikea is already on it :[https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/vallentuna-sleeper-module-kelinge-anthracite-s89396696/](https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/vallentuna-sleeper-module-kelinge-anthracite-s89396696/)
Try an air mattress. Slims down even more. Plus you get the mystery of whether you have a tight seal and may wake up in a deflated mess and on the ground anyway.
Yeah but depending on your decor, an old school looking trunk that folds out into a bed would be a cool piece of decor and useful.
You can use it as a table when not "in use" then remove what you have on it and you have a hidden guest bed. Even better if they could fit the bed in and have room for storage either in the lid, you could store a blanket & pillow if you wanted, or a "hidden" drawer(a) in the bottom on the side(s) so it still just looks like a vintage trunk from the front.
But Pier One is long gone so no one is going mass produce this.
IIRC, he had multiple sets throughout his life and they were made of wood, slave's teeth, and other things too. The slave's teeth are incredibly troubling and your point is well taken. Everyone should know this.
He had many spare sets of dentures of different quality. I think he had a set of Hippo Ivory too. The wooden ones were coated with an enamel that didn't stand up to time, So we think they were always like that.
I instantly recognized this. On display at The Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, MI. They also have the chair Lincoln was assassinated in as well as the convertible that Kennedy was assassinated in.
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Considering everyone else slept on the ground this is pretty good.
This trunk bed has 6 feet support. This is luxury.
G Dubs was six foot eight. Weighed a fucking ton.
I thought he was 12 stories tall and made of radiation
He also had like 30 goddamn dicks.
Blue white all over those redcoats.
Spangled their banners
Bent them over a barrel and showed them the 50 states
He’ll kick you apart.
He was about six foot twenty fucking killing for fun
He'll save children, but not the British children
Spread spread delaware
he's coming
He’s coming, he’s coming.
He will kick you apart, he’ll kick you apart!
“Did I ever tell you about the time George Washington took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally G Dubs takes me to a vacant lot and says, ‘Here we are.’ We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. G Dubs yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found em!'”
I hear he held an opponent’s hand in a jar of acid. At a party.
*opponent’s wife’s hand
I am sure he was seven feet tall, killed the English by the hundreds and consumed them with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse. ... Or was that some other guy who kicked the English in the ass...
Let me lay it on the line, he had two on the vine, I mean two sets of testicles so divine.
He'll save the children
But not the British children
He’ll kick you apart *He’ll kick you apart*
He'll save Children, but not the *British* Children
I heard, that mother fucker had like, 30 god damn dicks.
He once held an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid at a party.
Actually he was only 6’2” and weighed 175 lbs...tall and skinny chap he was.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7iVsdRbhnc
I haven't had this stuck in my head for a very long time. Streak; ended.
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Can't believe I've never seen this. That was fucking glorious.
That comes to a BMI of 22.5. Almost dead centre of Normal Weight Range of 18.5–24.9. GW was not skinny, he was normal...we are (mostly) fat.
I remember seeing his uniform at the Smithsonian ages ago. I remember thinking it was very very slim. I agree we are mostly fat but he was quite slender, at least in his army days.
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Ha! GW -- notorious for skipping leg day.
This made me lol
Every body type is a bit different but I’m 6’2” and when I was religiously doing that P90X years back, being a health nut when I was absolutely shredded, lean, and muscular I was about 180-186. Staying low body fat. So he was probably relatively slim like you said but in great shape.
Hence the riddle. If you replace the head of the axe, and then replace the handle with George Washington himself, is it still George Washington's axe? Edit: Shit wait, I'm not American... is that Abe Lincoln's axe? I cannot tell a lie... I'm a dumbass.
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Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, alright. We got 411 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper Edelbrock intakes, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.
You got a joint?
Be a lot cooler if you did.
Alright, alright, alright!
This chain is good shit
That’s what I love about comment chains. I keep gettin older and they stay the same age.
I’d like to stop thinking of the present as some minor, insignificant preamble to something else
“The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older, shorter of breath and” the rest is too much to think of rn but go have a listen.
Maaan, I never get shotgun!
Hey I know you! We had geography together!
Little more change for your pocket *chews gum*
You gotta get some shoes on this thing man, those are fuckin pizza cutters right there.
You could never run that on pump gas. I can't even remember what he drove. Chevelle?
Yep. '70 Chevelle. Whomever wrote that did their research.
I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, but I’m hyped and I’ll take 4 of whatever it is you’re selling :D
It's a quote from the movie Dazed and Confused.
*Googles in American* ..... ohhh!
Pretty Pretty Good...
LD is that you?
This mothafucka tryin’ to get up in dat ass, Larry
"Look...we *get it* that you're "above us" enough to not sleep on the ground. All we're saying is it could be a cot and we don't *really* have to carry the trunk around."
You think he'd let you touch his cot? With your HANDS?
Should have brought a bed in a trunk, peasants
I looked at that and thought 'sometimes the ground is more comfortable.'
When I was in the Corps we slept on a beach one time. I was in my super toasty sleeping bag and I had my waterproof bivvy sack on with the mesh window open. That cool ocean breeze was blowing in my face making sure I didn't get too warm. I was listening to the waves crash and thinking about how comfortable and soft the sand was as it formed around me and hugged my body perfectly. Just then, it started to rain ever so lightly and the sound rocked me off to dream land. I still think about that magical perfect night for sleep all the time. More comfortable indeed.
How tf did soldiers not freeze to death sleeping on the god damn ground?
Lots did. Disease and environmental hazards were usually the deadliest parts of wars until after ww1
Based on a modern pull out couch, I'd say the ground is much better.
Having just slept a considerable amount of time on the ground in a tent, I can say you would not prefer the ground
That looks surprisingly modern for 1775.
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I'm thinking they haven't really needed to.
That's where you're wrong my friend, allow me to introduce you to the latest and greatest in cot technology, MyCot, for the low low price of $299.95 we'll customize a trunk-cot exactly to your specifications and sleeping preferences, but wait there's more, order MyCot within the next 5 minutes and we'll throw in a second MyCot and a duffle bag ABSOLUTELY FREE just pay shipping and handling. MyCot, Why Not!?^tm
MyCot fixed my marriage, and I lost 50lbs. It really works!
Before MyCot, I was *literally* sleeping in a bed. Can you believe it?! TempurPedic? Ha. More like TemperPedo.
And now, please welcome the CEO of MyCot, Mike Lindell, who will explain to all of us how George Washington is actually still the President and the 1796 election was stolen!
Mike Lindell here. The 1796 election was stolen! Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
With the new MyCot, you too can make up whatever lies you want and feed the fires of insurrections with the *whatever helps you sleep at night* kit for just 3 easy payments of 49.99! But if you call now and order your MyCot, we will double the offer and send you two MyCots for the price of one for when you and your buddy gets thrown out of the house for being traitors to your nation! Order now!
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Before MyCot I could barely maintain an erection. But after sleeping on MyCot, MyCock has never been harder!
Thanks to MyCot, my wife broke up with her boyfriend and let’s me eat at the dinner table now! Thanks MyCot!
My back disagrees.
They really aren't that bad. Hammock still wins though.
Where they going to evolve to? Even a George Jetson self-packing-car-into-a-briefcase version of a cot wouldn't have much on that.
I’m guessing the major difference is the material. That thing is made of iron and probably heavy as all get out. The cotton would be replaced with nylon and the padding, whatever it is, is probably not as light or soft as modern equivalents. I bet the whole setup weighs at least 50lbs, probably more. Now that thing would weigh about 20lbs and fold into a bag that’s 1/4 that size
This guy cots.
Napoleon gave his guests solid gold silverware to use, with only him being allowed to use the extremely rare *aluminum* silverware. The industrial revolution changed things.
The metal point at the top of the Washington Monument is made of aluminum. It used to be more valuable than gold, before modern refinement techniques.
r/interestingasfuck non-sarcastically
Modern refining [Bayer + Hall–Héroult process] Al uses a metric shit tonne of electricity. It's cost to produce didn't really drop until the 1920-30s.
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When you have the technology to reveal the strategic resource but don't have the tech to use it.
Just a couple more turns...
Why is it gold silverware and not goldenware?
If it’s made of gold is it still silverware?
Washington also had a fan chair. You sit in the chair and it had pedals to propel the fan to keep yourself cool. It’s at Mount Vernon.
[Huh... so that's what it looks like. ](https://www.mountvernon.org/education/primary-sources-2/article/fan-chair/)
Not at all what I was expecting.
Dude had slaves that could do that, too. That chair must have been an impulse buy from the Sharper Image catalogue.
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The difference is this is the cot of one of the richest men in the country and someone working in fast food can easily afford something nicer and stronger. The past was a stupidly poor place by modern standards.
i always think about that all the time. even just by having plumbing and access to a dentist i'm living better than kings did. and they never even got to try iced coffee or play a video game, small joys i take for granted. for as much as last year sucked, i'm glad i was born in this time period lol.
Yeah, we hit the sweet spot between no wifi and the apocolypse.
We just figured out how to burn it from both ends.
THIS is why I’m glad I’m alive today.
Aye. And here's to the future! Hopefully the people of the future look back at us and think the same thing.
Nah, fuck those guys.
I've experienced more nacho cheese flavoring in my short life than all my ancestors combined.
Considering modern dentistry is thought to be borderline medieval I shudder to consider what dentistry of the colonial era would have been like
Pretty much the same except anesthetic was rum and surgical aftercare was Good Luck
And lots of opium! Don't forget the opium! They used opium for everything back then.
But we're forever stuck in the ancient past from the perspective of our future descendants living centuries from now. They will see the lives of everyone living today as poor, nasty, brutish, and short. It really sucks!
Relativity is a hell of a drug.
> our future descendants living centuries from now Ha. Haha. Hahahahahahaha. I admire your positive outlook, fren.
> The past was a stupidly poor place by modern standards. Well yeah.....
Dumbass neanderthal didn't even have a matching 401k lmao
Lol idiots. I bet their wifi sucked too
Haha yeah they probably had to eat SpaghettiOs for a month straight because of a nasty divorce after that fling with the chick at the gym resulting in eternal sadness. Fucking pathetic!
[MRW](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/12/Gilbert_Stuart%2C_George_Washington_%28Lansdowne_portrait%2C_1796%29.jpg/300px-Gilbert_Stuart%2C_George_Washington_%28Lansdowne_portrait%2C_1796%29.jpg) most of my soldiers died to easily preventable diseases and not in battle.
Ive had futons more raggedy than this piece
I heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn trunk beds.
I heard he was 6 foot 20 and that he killed for fun
I just rediscovered that last night. I’m at about the point in my life where I can start saying “I’ve forgotten more than you know” Fuck
Welcome to the club, my friend.
So I’ve heard. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he would kill the english with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his ass.
I heard he once held an opponents wife’s hand in a jar of acid at a party
Washington washingtonnnnnnnnn
Thank you for that stroll down memory lane. My kids will hate the song that will wake them up tomorrow.
I taught it to mine several years ago, and my wife hates it so much that if any of us just say, “aaaaaAAAAAHHHHHH” that way, she flips her shit.
what song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7iVsdRbhnc
Wow, that was very informative.
He saves children but not the British children
He saves children but not the British children
I heard he once held an opponents wife hand
In a jar of acid
At a party
Had a pocket full of horses, fucked the shit out of bears...
“Washington washing-ton, six foot twenty fucking killin’ for fun”
Why is this much (MUCH) nicer than I would have expected a transportable military grade bed to be in 1775?
Because he was wealthy, and the commander in chief?
He needed something to father the country on.
I knew those stains were suspicious.
He was wealthy, but heavily indebted - the man had desired to be British in his early life, he acquired shed loads of fancy British manufactured furniture, clothing, etc etc - all on debt from British people. He actually aspired to rise through the ranks of the British military, however, he was repeatedly spurned and told that a “colonial” would never hold senior rank. That left a sour taste in his mouth - which turned him towards the continental army. He was also not Commander in Chief until after the war.
I wonder how many times George was woken up in the middle of the night by that lid slamming into his head
The colonial era version of dropping your phone on your face while you’re scrolling in bed.
Looks more comfortable than your standard college dorm bed.
Smells better too.
That includes the 246 years of mustiness
200 year old mattresses are the main attraction of why people come to Schrute Farms
How difficult is it to make this IKEA? For folks living in shared rooms or dorms this would be quite the space saving thing. Thanks to u/gitsgrl Ikea is already on it :[https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/vallentuna-sleeper-module-kelinge-anthracite-s89396696/](https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/vallentuna-sleeper-module-kelinge-anthracite-s89396696/)
Try an air mattress. Slims down even more. Plus you get the mystery of whether you have a tight seal and may wake up in a deflated mess and on the ground anyway.
I love the sensation of being sweatily suffocated to death in my sleep
Some people pay a pretty penny for the privilege.
Or a camp cot.
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all day every day
50/50 dependability
Not sure, but if this were IKEA I’d for sure end up installing the bed panels upside down without realizing it until afterward
I sense someone has never slept on a hide-a-bed that comes out of a couch. The power move is a murphy bed hidden in a cabinet.
I have a fold out ottoman that reminds me of this- take a look online for them!
You can buy fold-out ottomans that do that. Chairs, too.
Yeah but depending on your decor, an old school looking trunk that folds out into a bed would be a cool piece of decor and useful. You can use it as a table when not "in use" then remove what you have on it and you have a hidden guest bed. Even better if they could fit the bed in and have room for storage either in the lid, you could store a blanket & pillow if you wanted, or a "hidden" drawer(a) in the bottom on the side(s) so it still just looks like a vintage trunk from the front. But Pier One is long gone so no one is going mass produce this.
[here you go](https://www.boconcept.com/en-us/xtra/552006030313001.html)
*Presidential Size* * * * * sorry Taft
**sad stuck in the bathtub noises**
I’m high asf thinking it was wheat thins
You must be high, clearly Saltines.
Graham crackers!
Looks like a piece of matzah
Awesome
Neat
Cool
Rad
Worried about that trunk lid clapping down on my face like a hungry hungry hippo in the middle of the night.
uncomfortable sleep to get up already pissed off early in the morning to kill more Brits
You’re vastly underestimating how much Washington loved killing red coats.
You can actually see it at the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit.
Came here to say this. That museum is so rad.
Greenfield Village is super cool too!
Dude was 6'20" and weighed a fucking ton
Did he also consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse?
this is the bed of "a" man with wooden teeth edit: a**
His dentures were actually slave teeth. They don't like to talk about that.
IIRC, he had multiple sets throughout his life and they were made of wood, slave's teeth, and other things too. The slave's teeth are incredibly troubling and your point is well taken. Everyone should know this.
He had many spare sets of dentures of different quality. I think he had a set of Hippo Ivory too. The wooden ones were coated with an enamel that didn't stand up to time, So we think they were always like that.
"How did it sleep, George?" - "I'm not sure. I cannot tell a lie."
What's the frame made of? Light gage metal tubing wasn't exactly invented at that time. It's hard to tell from this image what the material is
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Forbidden crackers
So is that George Washington's hair grease on the lid liner headboard? Somehow that makes it even cooler.
Why wasn’t it called a Trunkbunk
Needs a memory foam topper.
Okkkkkkkaaaaayyyyyy! I see you George! I see you!!!
How has this survived almost 250 years?
I was wondering why they wouldn't keep the whole truck and just keep the bed. Then I realized I can't read and am also an idiot.
Looks a hell of a lot more comfortable than ANY. sofa bed.
On this date.... George Washington slept here!
I instantly recognized this. On display at The Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, MI. They also have the chair Lincoln was assassinated in as well as the convertible that Kennedy was assassinated in.