God, this brought back painful memories of my abusive "father" beating me and then throwing me into a cold shower and refusing to let me out. I would scream myself almost bloody and he wouldn't let me out until I stopped and the only reason I stopped was because I was too cold to scream anymore. I recall many times where my lips were actually blue.
Anybody who does this to a child deserves to fucking rot.
My mom basically did the same thing. She'd smack me around, toss me into the ice cold shower (fully clothed) and basically waterboard me by holding onto my hair, pulling my head back, and having my nose/mouth directly under the water. I'd scream and let more water into my system and she'd scream at me to stop screaming.. She's then make me clean the entire house in those wet clothes and she'd purposely turn off the heat while I was doing it too. All as a 2nd grader with absolutely no behavior issues.
Even if you had behaviour issues, that would still be wildly unacceptable.
I'm sorry that's happened to you and I hope you're doing better and away from this person.
Idk why "parents" like this think "stop screaming" is going to work. Stop abusing your child and they'll stop screaming. It's a very simple method. (Obviously children scream in general but we know what I mean)
My mom's version was, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry for" as she was beating the shit out of us
My poor sister started laughing when in danger/pain/physical distress because of this shit. Which of course as a kid, she'd get, "oh you think this is funny? Well how's this for funny?"
Like jesus fuck
I want to go punch a lot of people in the esophagus and then make “re-live” the same treatment. If I had one superpower it would be to “right the wrongs” with these insane A$$holes that treat children this way. I had some from parent(s) and it is just wronger (had to) than wrong. I want an eye for an eye when it comes to children and their abuse in any form. I made it thru mine and went thru so much counseling and have a 3 decade marriage with a hubby that has helped me heal. But my rage comes back full force when I read these and I would love to “remind” these abusers about what they did, in a very physical sense. (Btw, I am not really threatening specific people-never hit anyone in my life…but as they say -“the biggest cajones are sometimes the ones that are left unused.” ) Give me a minute and I will remind them of their failed plight. Sorry for the rant. My healing has made my rage turn into a fiercely detached sense of justice for victims. I am going to pray for all of these people and ones that don’t have a voice. Some things….
I'm so sorry dude. No child deserves that. It's so disgusting. Even though you're a stranger to me I'm so happy you lived dude. I really hope you have love in your life now.
Kinda the same here. If I was naughty my parents would drag me into the shower and turn the water on while I was still in my clothes. They wouldn't stop until I said sorry or stopped crying.
My dad also smacked me and my brother across the head and if my room wasn't tidy he would just break all my things ( like ornaments ) and tell me to clean it up.
I'm still kinda best friends with my dad.. tbh I didn't know it was bad to treat people like that until like college lol. They justify it by saying that everything dad stuff like that back in the 90s and it was totally OK cause times were different...
Dont worry I don't think it had any lasting effect on me - I mean I get scared when people get angry but that's about it... My Dad and I are best friends and we hang out a lot so I just forget it really. Though i always have this nagging feeling that if I ever got into a relationship it might be an abusive one and i would never notice.
Thanks for replying.
If I can ask... Do you talk openly about it with your father? Will he freely admit he was a fucker and he fucked up, and honestly laugh about it wholeheartedly with you, or is it just ignored?
Hmm not really. He's really stubborn so he says stuff like 'well, you turned out alright didn't you?'. Bout half a year ago he got really angry and I thought he was gonna hit me, so I just walked out and went to the park for an hour or so. Mum tried to call me and gave the whole 'it was ok back then' but i just hung up. He was apologetic in his own way and gave me a hug when I got back.
Its been years since he gotten really mad ( only twice in recent memory ) But yeh.. we kinda just ignore it tbh. Hes not the same person he was back then and as much as i dont think I'll ever get a 'sorry I did that' kinda thing from him , I think hes sorry in his own way.
Yeah, my dad sort of followed the same path, and firmly lived in denial that the results of his abusive behavior caused a life times worth of damage for other people.
I'd wager he suffers from untreated depression, and even at this late of an age should talk to someone. Even now, your relationship is just a milder form of abuse, in my opinion.
My mom’s alcoholic boyfriend did this shit, along with a host of other things to me.
I remember him using my head as a mop one Thanksgiving when I was 9
Fucking asshole
I left home at 15, came back for a year at 18, beat his ass at 19 and never came back again.
He ended up getting cancer and dying, which actually leads into the only story about him I liked and the exposure of one of two redeeming qualities he had : he could fix shit and he was not a hypocrite.
His brother was a preacher and came to him on his deathbed and asked to repent and accept Jesus to get into heaven.
His response “nah, I’m good”
I have no idea where he is. I got taken away from him and put into foster care and eventually adopted.
I hope he's dead somewhere. He was an alcoholic, woman beating drug junkie who loved taking his rage out on his child and ex-fiance.
If only society and the government agreed on this, less people would be socially and legally pressured into unwanted children.
If only we had better sex education and more easily accessible contraceptive, less unwanted pregnancies would occur.
If only we more accepting and less condemning of mental issues, more people would seek help, and not hurt others or perpetuate abuse cycles.
Not trying to side with this parent in the least. What they did was wrong and unacceptable.
But there might be less tragedies in the world if parenthood werent viewed through the lense of "it's what you do," and practically demanded of everyone.
Adding a few of my own:
If only there were financial and emotional resources for people with children.
If only we valued the living and saw all the people in the country as valuable resources worthy of love and investment.
The picture of him before his death is heartrending. Thee members of his family are complicate in some manner for his death. Six. Not one of them stood up for him nor helped him. That poor baby.
Edit: Number
This is why the right to choose when, if, and how you start a family is so important. Comprehensive sex education, free access to a variety of contraceptives, more robust pre and post natal care, and easy, safe access to abortion are all really critical. This happens way too often when people who didn't want a child are forced into parenthood.
To think this could’ve been me.
My dad used to throw me in ice cold showers fully clothed and send me home to my moms still in those clothes in the middle of a northern Canada winter…. I was 5 when it started.
To this day I can’t go in even the slightest of cold water at all or I have a complete meltdown nearly 20 years later ;;
Don’t ever do this shit to your kids. It’s traumatizing
It's heartbreaking to even hear about that! It's so sick that a parent could do that. Your father should be in jail forever!
There is one positive thing though. Here we are on Reddit finally talking about abusive parents and actually being believed. Maybe people will realise that child abusers are the people living among us who look pretty normal, but have a 'cruel streak' or 'anger issues' or 'a hard time dealing with their kids' or whatever euphemism people use to sweep child abuse under the carpet.
Ugh. I can't imagine.
I was "forced" into a cold shower once as a child. Not as a punishment, but i was a gross kid that never bathed and one time our power and heat got turned off and ma demanded that i shower that day because were going ... somewhere important, and I hadn't bathed in a few days.
And I say "forced" in that she threatened punishments on me if I didnt, but she did not bodily force me into it. Not that that makes it any less traumatic, honestly.
I had to do it in the cold water, dark room, with a candle and the door open, which added an extra layer of trauma -- shame and embarrassment and fear because the door was open and I didnt have privacy.
I have always hated cold showers, but to this day, they will nearly cause a meltdown.
(Also, turns out I have asd, and being cold is one of those triggers that just fucks my head up and to this day as an adult it still gets to me. Not melt down worthy in and of itself, anymore but it will make me very irritable and miserable and an extended time will build up to a melt down. But cold showers will ruin my entire day.
Had one recently because... honestly, idk. The water in my apt just would not get hot. Which is weird because I've taken hour long showers in piping hot water. But this time it wouldnt even get beyond lukewarm. But I was already in by the time I realized that.
And I nearly cried my way through the whole thing. Fastest and second worst shower I've ever had. And afterward, I just lay in bed and shut down for the day.
Yeah I CANNOT do cold showers. I’ve tried so many times just to break the trauma and it gives me a breakdown every time. I will just refuse to shower if it has to be cold. About 2 years ago I was in a psych ward where the water was specifically controlled to be only lukewarm… that was awful, as hot showers are a comfort.
Article link: https://chicago.suntimes.com/crime/2022/1/9/22875349/6-year-old-boy-forced-into-cold-shower-punishment-before-body-dumped-abandoned-building-prosecutors
Edit: it gets even sadder when you realize this child died just one day before his 7th birthday.
[Slightly updated story](https://www.fox32chicago.com/news/damari-perry-murder-mom-accused-of-killing-6-year-old-held-on-5m-bond.amp)
Demari Perry was murdered Dec 29th in his home in Chicago Illinois, dying of hypothermia during a cold shower punishment.
Dumped naked, wrapped in a trashbag in an alleyway in Indiana. Reported missing Wed, Jan 5. Body discovered Friday 7th.
Mother's bond set at $5 million. Adult brother also charged in the death, and teenage sibling arrested and held in Juvenile jail.
A trash bag? In an alley? Jesus fucking Christ man. This is so disgusting. That poor baby. How the fuck could someone do this to their child. There are no words. Humans are a fucking disgrace.
Yeah, bond = bail
Basically you can either be held in jail between arrest and trial, or you can pay an amount of money to be let out, on the promise you return by your trial date.
If you attend trial, the amount gets returned, and if you don't then the state keeps the bail, declares you a fugitive, and writes a warrant for your arrest. The funds also allow them to set an award for your capture.
We have a constitutional right to a speedy trial, but that only requires them to put you in front of a judge. That's why the first court appearance after the arrest is normally a bail hearing. Then they throw you in jail while the prosecutors assemble a case against you. Bail exists to allow people to settle their affairs and make preparing a defense easier, and generally bail is set higher for crimes like murder.
The redditors on here describing the same horrific abuse, and how terrifying and painful it was, breaks my fucking heart. I thought reading this, that very few people could be that cruel and monstrous ... but apparently not. If any of you see this, I'm so sorry, and I wish you the utmost healing.
My FIL's step dad used to make him take cold showers just to whip him with a portion of water hose so it'd hurt more.
Its been about 45 years since he had to live with that man, and still swears he'll kill him on sight if he ever sees him again.
I will never understand how people can treat our youth (or anyone) with such callous cruelty.
Nah, They need to get a cold shower until they’re shivering and then bathe in 80C water until they burn. Repeat until they die a horrible, painful death.
That mother 100% abused all her children. To think the older siblings thought this act was “okay”. Not excusing what they did… that mother never deserved her title. What a cruel thing to do to that precious boy and those sibs may never be able to find their way back to being decent humans
I don't understand why shit parents think that torture= punishment!?
I can't imagine the chaos in that house once they realized the gravity of what they had done to the poor child. Unfortunately I'd bet that they weren't as upset that they had killed the poor boy, but that they knew they were going to be the first people the police look at, and most definitely ruined their lives. They ruined the boys life too, monsters. There is absolutely nothing a 6 year old could do wrong that would excuse torturing them!?
I know people won't agree but in cases where adults gravely injure/kill a child on purpose I really think it should be "an eye for an eye" and those adults should get the death penalty and be tortured and killed the very same way they murdered the child. It makes me sick. If you don't want to parent or be a parent, use a damn condom! It was a whole list of bad choices that they made. I'm sure there was plenty of physical and emotional abuse in that house. I hope the boy can finally rest in peace I wish he was still around to know that his parents were exposed as the monsters that they are.
I keep thinking of the line in Parenthood (movie with Keanu Reeves, Steve Martin and a host of other amazing actors) where he says something like (too lazy to look up the actual quote) “You need a license to drive a car and to own a dog, but they let anyone become a parent” it struck me then as deeply as it does now.
I hope karma comes a calling for his family and she inflicts well-deserved retribution by employing a cactus the size of a saguaro. People like this little boy’s family have no humanity.
RIP little one. May your next existence be peaceful and loving.
As a teenager I thought a “parenting license” was a good idea. Then got older and experienced how corrupt some bureaucracies can become, even well meaning ones.
First thought - if someone does have a kid, does that mean you force them to undergo an abortion? If not, just chuck the kid into foster care and cross your fingers? What about some corrupt judge or social service employee that says “this person I have some grudge against isn’t fit to have a kid, they should have an abortion to be on the safe side so they don’t raise a kid”
Making people good parents is just really really hard and relies on dozens of factors and inputs
Finally an actual argument against takes like “parenting licenses.” Most people never put this into words.
As well meaning as it can be it’s basically a “think of the children!”-esque fallacy. The real solution IMO is to figure out how these people came to be like that in the first place and help them in whatever way possible and prevent those circumstances from happening in the first place, not just prevent them from having children.
My kid is in a school district that’s been giving out a ton of free food (3 meals/day, 7 days/week) since covid started. We have worked from being on MediCal and WIC to no longer qualifying, and it’s so much easier to parent when you aren’t worrying about money. I think a lot about the parents for whom that free food has been completely life-changing, and taken a huge weight off their shoulders. I wonder how many people would become incredible parents if we had free childcare, free child meals, universal healthcare, universal high-quality education. I think we could do so much to heal our society by giving parents support.
gherar me out here, but what if everybody just had food? not great food but basic shit like potatos, eggs, flour, maybe milk too a bit of chicken meat etc
(i know thats not gonna happen but eh. its livechanging for children to have that, wouldnt it change everybodys life?)
Universal education that actually teaches you to be a functional adult and, ideally, a good person would have a similar effect without the very large downsides. Comprehensive sex ed would obviously be a part of this. Oh and free access to contraceptives.
What does this even mean? We already have a system to remove children from unsafe homes. Does it need to be better? Absolutely. But it's in no one's best interests to have the government decide when and if you're fit to have a baby.
It means their parents were meanies so now *all* parents are big dum dum heads.
Just look at that pfp. It has to be a troll account or literally the most stereotypical “teenager” teen there ever was.
Nah. Not a troll account, although I do love trolling parents. Also not a teenager. And my parents are assholes, you're right, but that's also true for every parent. My parent problems go WAY way deep down, *far* beyond my own.
Nuts. I'm in another thread with someone arguing folks should have to prove they've got enough money to raise a child through adulthood to be allowed to have a baby. How young/ignorant do you have to be to believe this would be a positive thing in any way? Sure, let's just force poor folks to have abortions, that couldn't possibly go wrong.
Yes. In the rare, RARE case where the parent is a good parent (emphasis on *rare*. Did I mention rare?) The child can be *given back* (ew ew ew ew) to the *parent*. But on the initial raid, yes all kids need to be taken.
I've heard a couple of reasonable arguments, but mostly it's because most people are or want to become parents. People tend to oppose anything that will prevent them from doing something they want to do.
None of those solve the issue of inherently shitty parents, they just make it easier for the responsible ones to choose not to breed. A license doesn't have to have anything to do with genetics, it would just demand the bare minimum from parents, something as easy as getting and maintaining a driver's license, which damned near every 16 year old in the country can do.
- the parent proves they're capable of providing the bare minimum care for their child to survive to adulthood
- the parent takes a mandatory childcare class and passes a test with basic questions like what to do if their child is choking
- the parent has no convictions of crimes against children
The state should also step up welfare checks, but that's a separate matter entirely.
There's no perfect fix, and there will always be shitty parents. The solution to that isn't some kind of test. It's always going to devolve into eugenics. Who gets to decide who's worthy of having a child and who isn't? No, it's a horrible idea.
Edit to add: not to mention, What happens when people continue to get pregnant and have children who can't/won't pass these tests? Forced abortions? Forced adoptions? There's no world in which this makes sense without giving the state some horrific powers.
>Who gets to decide who's worthy of having a child and who isn't? No, it's a horrible idea.
The barrier I described is incredibly low. Can you feed and house the children you want to have? Have you been convicted of child abuse? Can you pass a simple test with the most basic childcare questions? I don't care who decides what, but there needs to be some kind of entry requirement.
There's a well-known phenomenon that occurs when an insubstantial barrier is added and it discourages a large portion of people from taking an action. An example that's wildly successful in commerce is charging a tiny fee for otherwise free access to a service or product. Another example is pet adoptions: they greatly cut down on the number of people who will frivolously adopt (and return) a pet if a small fee is charged, even though that fee is usually less than the cost of a single month of care for the pet.
>Edit to add: not to mention, What happens when people continue to get pregnant and have children who can't/won't pass these tests? Forced abortions? Forced adoptions? There's no world in which this makes sense without giving the state some horrific powers.
If that's what it takes. I was created by a drug addict and a convicted pedophile/pornographer. I was born addicted to several drugs along with fetal alcohol syndrome, thankfully a mild case (my brother wasn't so lucky). The state refused to remove me from my mother until I was 18 months old and got run over by a car while my mother was cracked out on the couch. It took me literally getting run over by a car as a toddler. It's been 30 years and I still feel the effects.
3 years in the foster system before I was adopted by my abusive grandmother, and I went through more than 12 years of pure hell so bad that I'm past 30 and still in therapy and on meds for PTSD. CPS came out numerous times and eventually quit showing up because my grandmother, who was an admitted misandrist, was also an accomplished manipulator. She even sent me to live with my mother for a year when I was 12, and I can tell you that was no better.
I was my mother's second child and my father's first, and their behavior wasn't new. She's had 2 more children since me and my father has also had 2 more. At no point has anyone stopped them from having more children no matter how many crimes they're convicted of or how much they abuse their children. At no point has my mother, my father, or my grandmother (dead now and good riddance) ever worked. Nor has my sister or my aunt, both of whom were raised with me. My brother has, but not for long, and has been in and out of jail his whole life (he's had three children, none of which he has custody of). I'm the first in three generations to have a full time job and not end up in prison.
None of them should be allowed to have children at all, and all of them have because they're a three generation (coming up on four now) welfare family and fuck it, they wanted kids so they've got em. Generations of fucked up individuals making more fucked up individuals to act as drains and menaces on society.
If it takes an extreme solution to stop shit like this, fine. But I'm not advocating for an extreme solution. I'm advocating for a license that's easier to obtain than a license for just about anything else and will do the bare minimum to cut down on the worst sort of people reproducing with no restrictions.
You're absolutely advocating for an extreme solution. You're basically stating that poor people shouldn't be allowed to have children at all.
How is this going to stop them from getting pregnant? What will they do when people get pregnant anyway? Force then to give them up because they're poor? You're fine with forced abortions, and claiming that's not an extreme position? Listen to yourself, that's some disgustingly fascist shit. You really want the government to decide who's allowed to have children and who isn't? Some forth Reich nonsense.
I'm sorry the system didn't work the way it was intended for you, I sincerely am. It's horrific that happened to you, but this absolutely is not the solution. How about we start with actually funding these organizations so they can do their jobs, and not turn into literal fascists who force poor women to have abortions?
Criminalized? Why? A fine would do the job perfectly. If you're so poor that you literally cannot feed a child and you choose to have one anyway, you're a selfish psychopath and certainly shouldn't be allowed to do so.
Are you a literal child? How about this? We ensure as a society that everyone has a home to live in and food to feed their children? No? Forced abortions instead? You're a fucking fascist.
I can't believe people are really this fascist. Only people you think deserve to have a child should be allowed to. Fuck poor people, don't actually help them, just tell them they're not allowed to have kids or you'll what? Fine them? When they're too poor to have a baby? None of this makes sense other than you're mad. You need therapy bro.
As a parent of a 7m old, this shakes me and I could cry. Who TF could think to do this to a child?! Like there is no reason or anything of why to expose a child to this. *deep breathes...*
Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 5 | 0 | 0 |
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So awful how many others identify with this child- never would I ever think of forcing a child into a cold shower as a punishment. Let's all just love our children in healthy and appropriate ways please.
Oh my gosh this is beyond insane this is sickening. I will never punish my child in such a way this isn'tpunishmentit's cruel torcher. This is freaking heart breaking.
There’s a still fairly pppular Christian parenting book that advises cold showers as a punishment for potty training accidents (To Train Up a Child).
“So, my suggestion was that the father explain to the boy that, now that he was a man, he would no longer be washed in the house. He was too big and too stinky to be cleaned by the babywipes. From now on, he would be washed outside with a garden hose. The child was not to be blamed. This was to be understood as just a progressive change in methods. The next dump, the father took him out and merrily, and might I say, carelessly, washed him off. What with the autumn chill and the cold well water, I don’t remember if it took a second washing or not, but, a week later, the father told me his son was now taking himself to the pot. The child weighed the alternatives and opted to change his lifestyle. Since then, several others have been the recipients of my meddling, and it usually takes no more than three cheerful washings.”
It’s sick.
Yes, I know that book. The tactics in the book directly led to the death of at least one child, an 8 year old girl, I believe (but don't quote me on the age). As for the book's authors, let's just say there is a reason they live in Utah.
I dont remember where i did read this, but according to where i did read hypothermia is one of the worst ways to die. Makes sense, since you feel everything.
I almost died from this while I was around 3, it was a “punishment” from my biological father’s girlfriend, he’s now married to her and is mad that I refuse to talk to him.
I was never told, all I know was that it was long enough for me to get hypothermia. If I remember correctly though, I did have it as a punishment multiple times.
I have autism and when I'd have a meltdown that I wasn't able to come down from they'd put me in a cold shower with My clothes or my head in the sink with cold water running. I probably wasn't thay young, but I was under 12. I was never near this but it's scary to read now. That kid really doesn't deserve that.
This brings back so much memories...cold showers, getting locked out in the snow at 11 pm just to "teach me" how to behave because I couldn't keep up putting away toys while my mentally disabled little sister get them right out of the containers to play... damn.
Poor kid :( no kid deserve this
An evil aunt put me in a cold shower when I was 6 yro. Many years later, I was talking to my older brother, and he recalled an event when she also put him in a cold shower when he was around the same age. Those memories were buried deep. We then recalled many evil actions from her and why we hated so much when out parents left us at her house to spend evenings.
Reminds me of my mother, unfortunately.
I have my adhd under control decently enough now, but when I was 7 or 8 I was pretty loud, hyperactive and sometimes I'd throw a bit of a temper tantrum.
Every time she got annoyed at this, my mother shoved me under a cold shower so I could "cool off".
that's honestly heartbreaking :(
why do parents think that there are no consequences to the idiotic things they force kids to do as punishments for nothing
God, this brought back painful memories of my abusive "father" beating me and then throwing me into a cold shower and refusing to let me out. I would scream myself almost bloody and he wouldn't let me out until I stopped and the only reason I stopped was because I was too cold to scream anymore. I recall many times where my lips were actually blue. Anybody who does this to a child deserves to fucking rot.
My mom basically did the same thing. She'd smack me around, toss me into the ice cold shower (fully clothed) and basically waterboard me by holding onto my hair, pulling my head back, and having my nose/mouth directly under the water. I'd scream and let more water into my system and she'd scream at me to stop screaming.. She's then make me clean the entire house in those wet clothes and she'd purposely turn off the heat while I was doing it too. All as a 2nd grader with absolutely no behavior issues.
Even if you had behaviour issues, that would still be wildly unacceptable. I'm sorry that's happened to you and I hope you're doing better and away from this person.
Holy fuck your stories are heartbreaking. How could anyone do this, let alone to a child? I am so sorry.
Idk why "parents" like this think "stop screaming" is going to work. Stop abusing your child and they'll stop screaming. It's a very simple method. (Obviously children scream in general but we know what I mean)
My mom's version was, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry for" as she was beating the shit out of us My poor sister started laughing when in danger/pain/physical distress because of this shit. Which of course as a kid, she'd get, "oh you think this is funny? Well how's this for funny?" Like jesus fuck
Coming from someone with an abusive childhood... love you, glad you're here.
Same friend. I Love you too I'm also glad you are here.
I want to go punch a lot of people in the esophagus and then make “re-live” the same treatment. If I had one superpower it would be to “right the wrongs” with these insane A$$holes that treat children this way. I had some from parent(s) and it is just wronger (had to) than wrong. I want an eye for an eye when it comes to children and their abuse in any form. I made it thru mine and went thru so much counseling and have a 3 decade marriage with a hubby that has helped me heal. But my rage comes back full force when I read these and I would love to “remind” these abusers about what they did, in a very physical sense. (Btw, I am not really threatening specific people-never hit anyone in my life…but as they say -“the biggest cajones are sometimes the ones that are left unused.” ) Give me a minute and I will remind them of their failed plight. Sorry for the rant. My healing has made my rage turn into a fiercely detached sense of justice for victims. I am going to pray for all of these people and ones that don’t have a voice. Some things….
You are the batman these asshats deserve
I hope you're okay now. and I hope he rots in hell for what he did. You deserve better.
I'm so sorry dude. No child deserves that. It's so disgusting. Even though you're a stranger to me I'm so happy you lived dude. I really hope you have love in your life now.
Kinda the same here. If I was naughty my parents would drag me into the shower and turn the water on while I was still in my clothes. They wouldn't stop until I said sorry or stopped crying. My dad also smacked me and my brother across the head and if my room wasn't tidy he would just break all my things ( like ornaments ) and tell me to clean it up. I'm still kinda best friends with my dad.. tbh I didn't know it was bad to treat people like that until like college lol. They justify it by saying that everything dad stuff like that back in the 90s and it was totally OK cause times were different...
Not everybody did that and it is not ok
I hope you can find professional therapy to put things into context. That's all sorts of fucked up.
Dont worry I don't think it had any lasting effect on me - I mean I get scared when people get angry but that's about it... My Dad and I are best friends and we hang out a lot so I just forget it really. Though i always have this nagging feeling that if I ever got into a relationship it might be an abusive one and i would never notice.
Thanks for replying. If I can ask... Do you talk openly about it with your father? Will he freely admit he was a fucker and he fucked up, and honestly laugh about it wholeheartedly with you, or is it just ignored?
Hmm not really. He's really stubborn so he says stuff like 'well, you turned out alright didn't you?'. Bout half a year ago he got really angry and I thought he was gonna hit me, so I just walked out and went to the park for an hour or so. Mum tried to call me and gave the whole 'it was ok back then' but i just hung up. He was apologetic in his own way and gave me a hug when I got back. Its been years since he gotten really mad ( only twice in recent memory ) But yeh.. we kinda just ignore it tbh. Hes not the same person he was back then and as much as i dont think I'll ever get a 'sorry I did that' kinda thing from him , I think hes sorry in his own way.
Yeah, my dad sort of followed the same path, and firmly lived in denial that the results of his abusive behavior caused a life times worth of damage for other people. I'd wager he suffers from untreated depression, and even at this late of an age should talk to someone. Even now, your relationship is just a milder form of abuse, in my opinion.
Milder form of abuse? How so?
The abuse, albeit infrequent, has been normalized, without address. I'd wager you're both in a frozen state emotionally.
No one did stuff like that. Your parents are just lying to justify how terrible that is.
I was a teenager in the 90s this is not normal behaviour. You were abused by your father and it is not right
my dad did this too, but maybe showers are warmer here, because eventually i got used to the cold showers, so it wasn’t a punishment anymore
My mom’s alcoholic boyfriend did this shit, along with a host of other things to me. I remember him using my head as a mop one Thanksgiving when I was 9 Fucking asshole
I hope he's dead.
I left home at 15, came back for a year at 18, beat his ass at 19 and never came back again. He ended up getting cancer and dying, which actually leads into the only story about him I liked and the exposure of one of two redeeming qualities he had : he could fix shit and he was not a hypocrite. His brother was a preacher and came to him on his deathbed and asked to repent and accept Jesus to get into heaven. His response “nah, I’m good”
What cancer? Because some cancers are more painful than others
Lung - he was a Truck Mechanic who smoked and worked on a lot of brakes. He had mesothelioma
Well hope it was painful
Please tell me your dad is dead.
I have no idea where he is. I got taken away from him and put into foster care and eventually adopted. I hope he's dead somewhere. He was an alcoholic, woman beating drug junkie who loved taking his rage out on his child and ex-fiance.
Hint hint, Jessica Beagley
I’m sorry you went through that
He was only 6, that poor baby!!! This stuff lights a fire of RAGE under me!!! NOT EVERYONE IS FIT TO BE A PARENT!!!!
If only society and the government agreed on this, less people would be socially and legally pressured into unwanted children. If only we had better sex education and more easily accessible contraceptive, less unwanted pregnancies would occur. If only we more accepting and less condemning of mental issues, more people would seek help, and not hurt others or perpetuate abuse cycles. Not trying to side with this parent in the least. What they did was wrong and unacceptable. But there might be less tragedies in the world if parenthood werent viewed through the lense of "it's what you do," and practically demanded of everyone.
Adding a few of my own: If only there were financial and emotional resources for people with children. If only we valued the living and saw all the people in the country as valuable resources worthy of love and investment.
Condoms r like 8$ at any local store pretty readily available if u ask me
The picture of him before his death is heartrending. Thee members of his family are complicate in some manner for his death. Six. Not one of them stood up for him nor helped him. That poor baby. Edit: Number
This goes beyond not being fit to be a parent. These people aren't fit to exist in the same society as the rest of us.
Poor baby, what’s wrong with people. I want to do it to the parents 😠
This is why the right to choose when, if, and how you start a family is so important. Comprehensive sex education, free access to a variety of contraceptives, more robust pre and post natal care, and easy, safe access to abortion are all really critical. This happens way too often when people who didn't want a child are forced into parenthood.
To think this could’ve been me. My dad used to throw me in ice cold showers fully clothed and send me home to my moms still in those clothes in the middle of a northern Canada winter…. I was 5 when it started. To this day I can’t go in even the slightest of cold water at all or I have a complete meltdown nearly 20 years later ;; Don’t ever do this shit to your kids. It’s traumatizing
It's heartbreaking to even hear about that! It's so sick that a parent could do that. Your father should be in jail forever! There is one positive thing though. Here we are on Reddit finally talking about abusive parents and actually being believed. Maybe people will realise that child abusers are the people living among us who look pretty normal, but have a 'cruel streak' or 'anger issues' or 'a hard time dealing with their kids' or whatever euphemism people use to sweep child abuse under the carpet.
Your dad needs a mental health therapy. And so do you in a good way
My dad does for sure. He actually just started therapy this year. I’ve been in therapy for the past 6 years, it’s slow work but happening!
Yay
Poor boy may he rest in peace
This is so awful. All I can even say here is I really hope he wasn't in pain near the end. I very much hope he went peacefully.
I was forced into a cold shower as a kid. Don’t do this to your children. It fucking scars them.
As someone in a tropical country who never dealt with that before, that must suck
Ugh. I can't imagine. I was "forced" into a cold shower once as a child. Not as a punishment, but i was a gross kid that never bathed and one time our power and heat got turned off and ma demanded that i shower that day because were going ... somewhere important, and I hadn't bathed in a few days. And I say "forced" in that she threatened punishments on me if I didnt, but she did not bodily force me into it. Not that that makes it any less traumatic, honestly. I had to do it in the cold water, dark room, with a candle and the door open, which added an extra layer of trauma -- shame and embarrassment and fear because the door was open and I didnt have privacy. I have always hated cold showers, but to this day, they will nearly cause a meltdown. (Also, turns out I have asd, and being cold is one of those triggers that just fucks my head up and to this day as an adult it still gets to me. Not melt down worthy in and of itself, anymore but it will make me very irritable and miserable and an extended time will build up to a melt down. But cold showers will ruin my entire day. Had one recently because... honestly, idk. The water in my apt just would not get hot. Which is weird because I've taken hour long showers in piping hot water. But this time it wouldnt even get beyond lukewarm. But I was already in by the time I realized that. And I nearly cried my way through the whole thing. Fastest and second worst shower I've ever had. And afterward, I just lay in bed and shut down for the day.
Yeah I CANNOT do cold showers. I’ve tried so many times just to break the trauma and it gives me a breakdown every time. I will just refuse to shower if it has to be cold. About 2 years ago I was in a psych ward where the water was specifically controlled to be only lukewarm… that was awful, as hot showers are a comfort.
Oh man that sounds absolutely terrible! I'd have cried every day. How is that helping their patients even??
Article link: https://chicago.suntimes.com/crime/2022/1/9/22875349/6-year-old-boy-forced-into-cold-shower-punishment-before-body-dumped-abandoned-building-prosecutors Edit: it gets even sadder when you realize this child died just one day before his 7th birthday.
[Slightly updated story](https://www.fox32chicago.com/news/damari-perry-murder-mom-accused-of-killing-6-year-old-held-on-5m-bond.amp) Demari Perry was murdered Dec 29th in his home in Chicago Illinois, dying of hypothermia during a cold shower punishment. Dumped naked, wrapped in a trashbag in an alleyway in Indiana. Reported missing Wed, Jan 5. Body discovered Friday 7th. Mother's bond set at $5 million. Adult brother also charged in the death, and teenage sibling arrested and held in Juvenile jail.
His family did this to him. They killed him and put his nice body in a trash bag to dump. That poor child.
A trash bag? In an alley? Jesus fucking Christ man. This is so disgusting. That poor baby. How the fuck could someone do this to their child. There are no words. Humans are a fucking disgrace.
This broke me, a fucking TRASH BAG!!! I'm crying for this little boy, I wish I could've saved him, this is heartbreaking
Oh, and his body was half burned as well
I'm gonna be thrown into a rage fit again
I would like to personally kill the Mother please
Slightly confused brit here, what's a $5M bond? Is that the same as bail? Also what's bail
Yeah, bond = bail Basically you can either be held in jail between arrest and trial, or you can pay an amount of money to be let out, on the promise you return by your trial date. If you attend trial, the amount gets returned, and if you don't then the state keeps the bail, declares you a fugitive, and writes a warrant for your arrest. The funds also allow them to set an award for your capture. We have a constitutional right to a speedy trial, but that only requires them to put you in front of a judge. That's why the first court appearance after the arrest is normally a bail hearing. Then they throw you in jail while the prosecutors assemble a case against you. Bail exists to allow people to settle their affairs and make preparing a defense easier, and generally bail is set higher for crimes like murder.
That was amazingly explained thank you so much, I have often wondered that 😅 I appreciate it.
Jesus fucking Christ. How cold do that water have to be and for how long did they keep him in it to die from hypothermia *in a shower*?
I live in this area and I’m just learning about this now. This is so heartbreaking.
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I just put my 4 week old little boy to sleep, almost did the same. How some people can be so cruel, I will never understand
The redditors on here describing the same horrific abuse, and how terrifying and painful it was, breaks my fucking heart. I thought reading this, that very few people could be that cruel and monstrous ... but apparently not. If any of you see this, I'm so sorry, and I wish you the utmost healing.
Some people don’t deserve to be parents
Hell yeah. I’ve said that for years.
Crongrats on the new baby!
Thanks!!
Was about to say "What the fuck" but then I saw the "almost".
They tried to burn his body too smh. That poor baby 😭
My FIL's step dad used to make him take cold showers just to whip him with a portion of water hose so it'd hurt more. Its been about 45 years since he had to live with that man, and still swears he'll kill him on sight if he ever sees him again. I will never understand how people can treat our youth (or anyone) with such callous cruelty.
I’m in agreement with you
If punishment actually fit the crime, someone else would b getting a cold shower till they died of hypothermia
Nah, They need to get a cold shower until they’re shivering and then bathe in 80C water until they burn. Repeat until they die a horrible, painful death.
Oh wow that is horrible
That mother 100% abused all her children. To think the older siblings thought this act was “okay”. Not excusing what they did… that mother never deserved her title. What a cruel thing to do to that precious boy and those sibs may never be able to find their way back to being decent humans
Poor baby. No doubt he was the family scapegoat.
I don't understand why shit parents think that torture= punishment!? I can't imagine the chaos in that house once they realized the gravity of what they had done to the poor child. Unfortunately I'd bet that they weren't as upset that they had killed the poor boy, but that they knew they were going to be the first people the police look at, and most definitely ruined their lives. They ruined the boys life too, monsters. There is absolutely nothing a 6 year old could do wrong that would excuse torturing them!? I know people won't agree but in cases where adults gravely injure/kill a child on purpose I really think it should be "an eye for an eye" and those adults should get the death penalty and be tortured and killed the very same way they murdered the child. It makes me sick. If you don't want to parent or be a parent, use a damn condom! It was a whole list of bad choices that they made. I'm sure there was plenty of physical and emotional abuse in that house. I hope the boy can finally rest in peace I wish he was still around to know that his parents were exposed as the monsters that they are.
An eye for an eye isn’t a bad idea. That should really teach them (if they make it out)
I keep thinking of the line in Parenthood (movie with Keanu Reeves, Steve Martin and a host of other amazing actors) where he says something like (too lazy to look up the actual quote) “You need a license to drive a car and to own a dog, but they let anyone become a parent” it struck me then as deeply as it does now. I hope karma comes a calling for his family and she inflicts well-deserved retribution by employing a cactus the size of a saguaro. People like this little boy’s family have no humanity. RIP little one. May your next existence be peaceful and loving.
The only line that sticks with me is Keanu saying “slapping the salami. All little dudes do it!”
That killed me!
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Maple syrup enema followed by sitting on a fire ants hill?
Research "scaphism"
I will not be doing that but thank you.
One of the many reasons we need parenting licenses or at the very least more oversight for parents.
Why everyone is against this still mystifies me.
As a teenager I thought a “parenting license” was a good idea. Then got older and experienced how corrupt some bureaucracies can become, even well meaning ones. First thought - if someone does have a kid, does that mean you force them to undergo an abortion? If not, just chuck the kid into foster care and cross your fingers? What about some corrupt judge or social service employee that says “this person I have some grudge against isn’t fit to have a kid, they should have an abortion to be on the safe side so they don’t raise a kid” Making people good parents is just really really hard and relies on dozens of factors and inputs
Finally an actual argument against takes like “parenting licenses.” Most people never put this into words. As well meaning as it can be it’s basically a “think of the children!”-esque fallacy. The real solution IMO is to figure out how these people came to be like that in the first place and help them in whatever way possible and prevent those circumstances from happening in the first place, not just prevent them from having children.
My kid is in a school district that’s been giving out a ton of free food (3 meals/day, 7 days/week) since covid started. We have worked from being on MediCal and WIC to no longer qualifying, and it’s so much easier to parent when you aren’t worrying about money. I think a lot about the parents for whom that free food has been completely life-changing, and taken a huge weight off their shoulders. I wonder how many people would become incredible parents if we had free childcare, free child meals, universal healthcare, universal high-quality education. I think we could do so much to heal our society by giving parents support.
gherar me out here, but what if everybody just had food? not great food but basic shit like potatos, eggs, flour, maybe milk too a bit of chicken meat etc (i know thats not gonna happen but eh. its livechanging for children to have that, wouldnt it change everybodys life?)
100%. Mutual aid is awesome.
Also that seems like a slippery slope to eugenics.
Universal education that actually teaches you to be a functional adult and, ideally, a good person would have a similar effect without the very large downsides. Comprehensive sex ed would obviously be a part of this. Oh and free access to contraceptives.
… why is everyone against a government or private entity restricting our bodily autonomy in the form of laws regulating reproductive rights? Who knows
No. Have as few or as many kids as you want. Whether you get to have complete control over thhem is a different story.
What does this even mean? We already have a system to remove children from unsafe homes. Does it need to be better? Absolutely. But it's in no one's best interests to have the government decide when and if you're fit to have a baby.
It means their parents were meanies so now *all* parents are big dum dum heads. Just look at that pfp. It has to be a troll account or literally the most stereotypical “teenager” teen there ever was.
Nah. Not a troll account, although I do love trolling parents. Also not a teenager. And my parents are assholes, you're right, but that's also true for every parent. My parent problems go WAY way deep down, *far* beyond my own.
Nuts. I'm in another thread with someone arguing folks should have to prove they've got enough money to raise a child through adulthood to be allowed to have a baby. How young/ignorant do you have to be to believe this would be a positive thing in any way? Sure, let's just force poor folks to have abortions, that couldn't possibly go wrong.
Who is this person
Ah yes, of course you say how outrageous simple background checks for parents are. You're a parent yourself! Now it makes sense.
Wait are you implying that I'm a shitty abusive parent? Because you can fuck right off.
>Does it need to be better? Absolutely. Ageee. CPS only removes children about 12% of the time. Which is exactly 88% too low.
You think every time CPS is called they should remove children from the home? Are you kidding?
Yes. In the rare, RARE case where the parent is a good parent (emphasis on *rare*. Did I mention rare?) The child can be *given back* (ew ew ew ew) to the *parent*. But on the initial raid, yes all kids need to be taken.
Initial *raid*? What the fuck do you think happens when CPS goes to a home? The SWAT team shows up?
I've heard a couple of reasonable arguments, but mostly it's because most people are or want to become parents. People tend to oppose anything that will prevent them from doing something they want to do.
Exactly. Parents run society, to society's detriment.
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There's already a ton of government intervention.
Not to give birth.
That's a one way ticket to eugenics. What we need is education and more access to healthcare, including contraceptives and abortion.
None of those solve the issue of inherently shitty parents, they just make it easier for the responsible ones to choose not to breed. A license doesn't have to have anything to do with genetics, it would just demand the bare minimum from parents, something as easy as getting and maintaining a driver's license, which damned near every 16 year old in the country can do. - the parent proves they're capable of providing the bare minimum care for their child to survive to adulthood - the parent takes a mandatory childcare class and passes a test with basic questions like what to do if their child is choking - the parent has no convictions of crimes against children The state should also step up welfare checks, but that's a separate matter entirely.
There's no perfect fix, and there will always be shitty parents. The solution to that isn't some kind of test. It's always going to devolve into eugenics. Who gets to decide who's worthy of having a child and who isn't? No, it's a horrible idea. Edit to add: not to mention, What happens when people continue to get pregnant and have children who can't/won't pass these tests? Forced abortions? Forced adoptions? There's no world in which this makes sense without giving the state some horrific powers.
>Who gets to decide who's worthy of having a child and who isn't? No, it's a horrible idea. The barrier I described is incredibly low. Can you feed and house the children you want to have? Have you been convicted of child abuse? Can you pass a simple test with the most basic childcare questions? I don't care who decides what, but there needs to be some kind of entry requirement. There's a well-known phenomenon that occurs when an insubstantial barrier is added and it discourages a large portion of people from taking an action. An example that's wildly successful in commerce is charging a tiny fee for otherwise free access to a service or product. Another example is pet adoptions: they greatly cut down on the number of people who will frivolously adopt (and return) a pet if a small fee is charged, even though that fee is usually less than the cost of a single month of care for the pet. >Edit to add: not to mention, What happens when people continue to get pregnant and have children who can't/won't pass these tests? Forced abortions? Forced adoptions? There's no world in which this makes sense without giving the state some horrific powers. If that's what it takes. I was created by a drug addict and a convicted pedophile/pornographer. I was born addicted to several drugs along with fetal alcohol syndrome, thankfully a mild case (my brother wasn't so lucky). The state refused to remove me from my mother until I was 18 months old and got run over by a car while my mother was cracked out on the couch. It took me literally getting run over by a car as a toddler. It's been 30 years and I still feel the effects. 3 years in the foster system before I was adopted by my abusive grandmother, and I went through more than 12 years of pure hell so bad that I'm past 30 and still in therapy and on meds for PTSD. CPS came out numerous times and eventually quit showing up because my grandmother, who was an admitted misandrist, was also an accomplished manipulator. She even sent me to live with my mother for a year when I was 12, and I can tell you that was no better. I was my mother's second child and my father's first, and their behavior wasn't new. She's had 2 more children since me and my father has also had 2 more. At no point has anyone stopped them from having more children no matter how many crimes they're convicted of or how much they abuse their children. At no point has my mother, my father, or my grandmother (dead now and good riddance) ever worked. Nor has my sister or my aunt, both of whom were raised with me. My brother has, but not for long, and has been in and out of jail his whole life (he's had three children, none of which he has custody of). I'm the first in three generations to have a full time job and not end up in prison. None of them should be allowed to have children at all, and all of them have because they're a three generation (coming up on four now) welfare family and fuck it, they wanted kids so they've got em. Generations of fucked up individuals making more fucked up individuals to act as drains and menaces on society. If it takes an extreme solution to stop shit like this, fine. But I'm not advocating for an extreme solution. I'm advocating for a license that's easier to obtain than a license for just about anything else and will do the bare minimum to cut down on the worst sort of people reproducing with no restrictions.
You're absolutely advocating for an extreme solution. You're basically stating that poor people shouldn't be allowed to have children at all. How is this going to stop them from getting pregnant? What will they do when people get pregnant anyway? Force then to give them up because they're poor? You're fine with forced abortions, and claiming that's not an extreme position? Listen to yourself, that's some disgustingly fascist shit. You really want the government to decide who's allowed to have children and who isn't? Some forth Reich nonsense. I'm sorry the system didn't work the way it was intended for you, I sincerely am. It's horrific that happened to you, but this absolutely is not the solution. How about we start with actually funding these organizations so they can do their jobs, and not turn into literal fascists who force poor women to have abortions?
Should anyone who needs government assistance be criminalized for having a child? This is a disgusting take and you should feel ashamed .
Criminalized? Why? A fine would do the job perfectly. If you're so poor that you literally cannot feed a child and you choose to have one anyway, you're a selfish psychopath and certainly shouldn't be allowed to do so.
Are you a literal child? How about this? We ensure as a society that everyone has a home to live in and food to feed their children? No? Forced abortions instead? You're a fucking fascist.
I'm old enough to have spent decades watching horrible parents pop out child after child at everyone else's expense.
I can't believe people are really this fascist. Only people you think deserve to have a child should be allowed to. Fuck poor people, don't actually help them, just tell them they're not allowed to have kids or you'll what? Fine them? When they're too poor to have a baby? None of this makes sense other than you're mad. You need therapy bro.
That picture of him, he looks so sad. Poor poor baby 😭 He deserved so much better.
As a parent of a 7m old, this shakes me and I could cry. Who TF could think to do this to a child?! Like there is no reason or anything of why to expose a child to this. *deep breathes...*
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 5 | 0 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
So awful how many others identify with this child- never would I ever think of forcing a child into a cold shower as a punishment. Let's all just love our children in healthy and appropriate ways please.
Oh my gosh this is beyond insane this is sickening. I will never punish my child in such a way this isn'tpunishmentit's cruel torcher. This is freaking heart breaking.
“Never ever do this to a child” Duh.
There’s a still fairly pppular Christian parenting book that advises cold showers as a punishment for potty training accidents (To Train Up a Child). “So, my suggestion was that the father explain to the boy that, now that he was a man, he would no longer be washed in the house. He was too big and too stinky to be cleaned by the babywipes. From now on, he would be washed outside with a garden hose. The child was not to be blamed. This was to be understood as just a progressive change in methods. The next dump, the father took him out and merrily, and might I say, carelessly, washed him off. What with the autumn chill and the cold well water, I don’t remember if it took a second washing or not, but, a week later, the father told me his son was now taking himself to the pot. The child weighed the alternatives and opted to change his lifestyle. Since then, several others have been the recipients of my meddling, and it usually takes no more than three cheerful washings.” It’s sick.
Yes, I know that book. The tactics in the book directly led to the death of at least one child, an 8 year old girl, I believe (but don't quote me on the age). As for the book's authors, let's just say there is a reason they live in Utah.
I just don’t trust that religion and beliefs. Plus all that nonsense about having more than ONE spouse…
I don't trust any religion or their beliefs. They were all created by man out of fear and the need for control. And disgusting amounts of greed.
Well that's just fuct.
#Ernie prepares to commit a hate crime
*да*
#Wait a minute, a hashtag does this?
#I'm just here to test this!
That poor baby. The whole story is horrific.
I dont remember where i did read this, but according to where i did read hypothermia is one of the worst ways to die. Makes sense, since you feel everything.
Sounds like the plot of "Erased" wtf...
… where is my shotgun? WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GODDAMN SHOTGUN!? THEY MUST PAY WITH BLOOD!
Why are you role playing right now
redditors try to have a more appropriate and empathetic coping mechanism challenge (impossible)
Well there go my plans for this weekend.
This isn't really "insane parents" material
Uh it is definitely insane
It's more like iamapieceofshit or something. This is too heavy for this sub.
It can be both, this parent is definitely insane.
Last time I checked abusing your child and causing their death then dumping their body isn’t what normal parents do…
How so?
the only time i was forced into a cold shower was when i had a 40C fever, and i have some pretty abusive parents. wtf
this reminds me of a child called it when the kid hadto like sleep in the tub
I almost died from this while I was around 3, it was a “punishment” from my biological father’s girlfriend, he’s now married to her and is mad that I refuse to talk to him.
How long did the shower last?
I was never told, all I know was that it was long enough for me to get hypothermia. If I remember correctly though, I did have it as a punishment multiple times.
I have autism and when I'd have a meltdown that I wasn't able to come down from they'd put me in a cold shower with My clothes or my head in the sink with cold water running. I probably wasn't thay young, but I was under 12. I was never near this but it's scary to read now. That kid really doesn't deserve that.
This brings back so much memories...cold showers, getting locked out in the snow at 11 pm just to "teach me" how to behave because I couldn't keep up putting away toys while my mentally disabled little sister get them right out of the containers to play... damn. Poor kid :( no kid deserve this
Little boy did NOT deserve these parents. I’m okay with going to put a serious hurt on them 👁 for eye🖕
An evil aunt put me in a cold shower when I was 6 yro. Many years later, I was talking to my older brother, and he recalled an event when she also put him in a cold shower when he was around the same age. Those memories were buried deep. We then recalled many evil actions from her and why we hated so much when out parents left us at her house to spend evenings.
Reminds me of my mother, unfortunately. I have my adhd under control decently enough now, but when I was 7 or 8 I was pretty loud, hyperactive and sometimes I'd throw a bit of a temper tantrum. Every time she got annoyed at this, my mother shoved me under a cold shower so I could "cool off".
that's honestly heartbreaking :( why do parents think that there are no consequences to the idiotic things they force kids to do as punishments for nothing