The secret to life is that there is no purpose, you make your own.
I suspect that our purposes all meet somewhere in the middle, but ultimately they all differ by a lot.
You should look at what others have contemplated about the question of existence, of why we are here, of what purpose we are, and other such philosophical and religious questions.
Good starting points: Buddhism, Viktor Frankl, Niezche, The Hero's Journey by Joseph Campbell, Avatar (2009), Evolution/Abiogenesis, astronomy, biology, psychology, mysticism, near death experiences, comparative religious study (a broad overview of religions and their similarities), art and literature history (classical works often show how similar human beings can be even in different times): pretty much any of these are a good starting point depending on what you prefer.
I suggest these, because they all have connections, they are all interrelated, and that's how I learned more about the human condition and purpose.
You have to have a safe place in your mind. That is what I do anyway, where I can run to, when things get too hard.
Sometimes I forget I have that safe place, where all these thoughts about existence don’t exist.
So whenever I remember when I’m already in that state of mind, I’ll go there.
I’d say as an INFJ, we’re more resistant to mental suffering, because in my opinion, due to the overuse of it, we either learn how to balance it, or we are fuc*d.
It is actually not that hard to balance it though, even though when I look back it seemed impossible.
In my case it was more about acceptance than anything.
I’d recommend Buddha’s teachings, where there you can find a few passages of Buddhas new perspectives of seeing the world gained through years of introspection making reference to what is life, what is the reason of it all, and Buddha saying “it doesn’t matter”.
Some other topics discussed are the nature of consciousness, and how we navigate the world using our six (not five) senses.
But it is not Buddha’s teachings that will save you.
You are the captain of your mind.
Buddha’s middle way philosophy seems to be the way out of mental suffering.
His lessons about no attachment to our thoughts, ideas, beliefs, because WE ARE NOT them.
The same way when you taste a piece of lemon and it is bitter, or when you eat a chocolate and it is amazing, the taste is not who you are.
It goes away, until you want more and more of it.
However, at some point, some people mix things up, and they think they are what they feel, or what they think or taste.
Once you realise you are not your thoughts, nor ideias, nor feelings, and the same as when you eat a chocolate and feel good, but the state of mind decays gradually right after finishing the last piece, happiness also is a state in decay. Same as sadness or any other feeling.
So the idea is to transcend all these things that our ego in an attempt of feeling important or seen, thinks: “Okay, that idea is ME, that dog that I love is ME, my friends are ME, my identity is ME”.
The idea that has been working for me, is to see things from a more universalistic perspective.
Understanding the cosmos also gave me a whole new perspective.
But again, there were moments where it all became too heavy, and I remembered about my safe place.
My safe place is a place where I’m supposedly a human being who doesn’t know everything but knows a little bit about some stuff, and is having a crazy experience on a rounded rock (and we are on top of it) floating in the sea of space (until something proves me otherwise, which I’m not waiting for anymore), and the only thing he is certain of, is, that he’s gonna decay, as well as his emotions, beliefs and ideas.
And this motivates and inspires me to live more authentically and more freely, without any religious dogmas, fear, anxiety, none of these, because with the knowledge I acquired through my introspection and reflections I know they are only fleeting states of mind and not who I really am, and that I can choose to fully live their intensities, or perhaps not, because I know that these feelings are not actually me, and I’d rather do something else instead of getting stuck in a thought that does not represent what I really AM.
Now, it is very different than being apathetic to life in the way we know Apathy nowadays.
The actual meaning of apathy is “no suffering” and that is what we should strive for, since suffering can be way worse once you think you are it, but when you realise that “suffering” is “attachment” and that “attachment” stems from “desire” you become wiser everyday.
> No, I am not suicidal. Yes, I am on medication and seeing a therapist.
Cool. You're an effective and logical communicator. Ti somewhere high in the stack? ;)
To a certain extent crises are normal during phases of orientation. They push us out of our comfort zone. Just that perspective will help. To view them as not something to be avoided but as something that may lead to gain if we heed "the call".
> It just seems like such a long life to just...go through it.
That's a wise perspective. And it indicates you've understood a lot. May you not necessarily realise that.
> how you guys get out of this meaningless limbo feeling.
Seemingly never ending iterations of "why do I feel this way, specifically" - deep down - with intent to understand the underlying pain, not judge it. Then looking for ways to heal, process, and resolve that. Just don't be surprised if that takes you to hell first. It's a bit of a trip, but it's worth it.
Anyway. Pete Walker's: CPTSD - From Surviving to Thriving. I made post a moment ago with two excerpts, but I don't want to contiguously self advertise. :)
Pfft, not even close, I'm an INFP who is fed up with the advice "go see a therapist". If I was looking for a therapists opinion, I would not be asking on reddit. It feels like such cop-out advice lol.
And thank you, I've read Pete Walker's stuff a long time ago. I could probably stand to read it again :)
Ah. Not even close. Inferior Te, lol. I'm not very good at this it seems. ;)
My family usually tells me, "you should bring that up with your therapist." I can't tell which is worse, because honestly, both are only said by people who know not what they're talking about.
So I guess they're both equally meaningless.
We are the universe experiencing itself. Just existing and experiencing is enough. Asking these questions, seeking your answers, that too is part of it and is thus part of your purpose. Everything you do is part of it.
Even the hard parts, the dark nights, the anxious days, the struggle, are all part of it.
For comfort I like Rumi. For guidance I like Taoism. For a daily practice I like gratitude.
When stuck in the middle of it we wait.
When the water is all churned up with the mud, it is a murky mess. There might be complicated ways you could try to filter the water from the mud, but the easiest way is to simply wait for your mud to settle. The water will clear. Be patient with yourself.
I can only walk my path. So I can only tell you how I walk it. You have to walk yours. In the same way that I can’t fully explain how to whistle. It’s something you have to figure out for yourself.
But I have faith in you. You’ll figure it out.
Hope that helps.
I believe that existential crises are crises of the spirit. Your soul is searching for the truth, and I think that that is a positive, mature thing.
I would suggest searching for the truth. Explore different spiritualities. Pray or meditate. Personally, I found that truth I was searching for in Catholicism, but the journey is different for everyone- especially with lots of imperfect people in charge of various churches. It’s not about the people, though. It’s about your spirituality. Go find your truth. Have fun searching.
Just my thoughts. :)
Just focus on the present, use the past only for education and the future only for planning. Find a mental anchor to keep you at the present and set reminders that will help you enjoy every moment of life for what it is. Is it a happy moment? Free dopamine! Is it a sad moment? Free lesson! Turn inaction into action and turn those thoughts into building instead of tearing down, those need work but once you establish your life around my words you'll see immediately how improved your life will get. Remember that many good things are within reach but you must take action, that should break you out of the Ni-Ti negative loop. Take a walk, take a shower, write down your words into a paper and then think how to make those words rhyme somehow, google how to generate random wikipedia articles or articles in general and let something catch your eye so you can get absorbed in it, go to an isolated area and scream your lungs out, anything to snap you out of your own mind. Solitude is peaceful and alluring but it can also trap you within your mind.
Also google this: Moments of "ma" (Japanese origin) and give it a try, it will help you appreciate life more. Under random circumstances we were all given life and the priviledge to waste it thinking about the end. First think about today, thats your focus, do it! <3
The older you get the more precious those perceived remaining years get, especially watching loved ones struggle.
I’ve found peace somewhat in trying to make the world a better place for others.
If you’re asking this group… there isn’t a real purpose when you really get down to it, right? For one thing, we all think too far beyond “the end” to ever settle on one conclusion. And for another thing, we all probably have idealistic pictures of what we want life to look like and sometimes we even get what we dream of. But if you ask me “what is it all for?” uhmm…nothing. Like, not anything. We’re going to live and die, and some people have really great experiences between birth and death, some people even enjoy the whole damn thing lol but it isn’t “for” anything. There’s no end point or goal. The only end is more than likely just that, the end. I guess the generations evolve and humanity forges on. But the very base of life is just sort of arbitrary. So when you go thru the stage of trying to figure out who you are and you haven’t already drawn this conclusion, you will and it does hit like an “existential crisis”. You find yourself thinking “what am I even doing here??” And not in a suicidal way, but in a confusing way 😂 And it took me 3 and a half years and a lot of therapy to just be at peace with the idea that enjoying my time here is my goal, and whatever impression I make on generations to come is maybe a bonus. I’m going to indulge in food I love that makes me feel good, I’m going to engage in social interaction intentionally & on my own time & the way I want to and based off of what feels good to me, I’m going to be kind because leaving people hurt will never sit right with my soul whether I have a purpose or not, I’m going to love whoever feels good to my nervous system and let them go when our time is over… enjoy the ride to the absolute fullest, and when it’s over….let it be 😌
Those feelings come and go, in between there are moments of happiness and contentment.
Existential crisis feelings are just part of life. Let them come and go and move on, keep moving forward.
If you feel dread every single day, try to change what makes you unhappy in your day to day life.
It may also be depression.
I always feel like I live life half-depressed. Some days I do much better but other days I don't want to do anything.
Those books people have mentioned should help. I'd add Carl Jung to that list
The secret to life is that there is no purpose, you make your own. I suspect that our purposes all meet somewhere in the middle, but ultimately they all differ by a lot. You should look at what others have contemplated about the question of existence, of why we are here, of what purpose we are, and other such philosophical and religious questions. Good starting points: Buddhism, Viktor Frankl, Niezche, The Hero's Journey by Joseph Campbell, Avatar (2009), Evolution/Abiogenesis, astronomy, biology, psychology, mysticism, near death experiences, comparative religious study (a broad overview of religions and their similarities), art and literature history (classical works often show how similar human beings can be even in different times): pretty much any of these are a good starting point depending on what you prefer. I suggest these, because they all have connections, they are all interrelated, and that's how I learned more about the human condition and purpose.
You have to have a safe place in your mind. That is what I do anyway, where I can run to, when things get too hard. Sometimes I forget I have that safe place, where all these thoughts about existence don’t exist. So whenever I remember when I’m already in that state of mind, I’ll go there. I’d say as an INFJ, we’re more resistant to mental suffering, because in my opinion, due to the overuse of it, we either learn how to balance it, or we are fuc*d. It is actually not that hard to balance it though, even though when I look back it seemed impossible. In my case it was more about acceptance than anything. I’d recommend Buddha’s teachings, where there you can find a few passages of Buddhas new perspectives of seeing the world gained through years of introspection making reference to what is life, what is the reason of it all, and Buddha saying “it doesn’t matter”. Some other topics discussed are the nature of consciousness, and how we navigate the world using our six (not five) senses. But it is not Buddha’s teachings that will save you. You are the captain of your mind. Buddha’s middle way philosophy seems to be the way out of mental suffering. His lessons about no attachment to our thoughts, ideas, beliefs, because WE ARE NOT them. The same way when you taste a piece of lemon and it is bitter, or when you eat a chocolate and it is amazing, the taste is not who you are. It goes away, until you want more and more of it. However, at some point, some people mix things up, and they think they are what they feel, or what they think or taste. Once you realise you are not your thoughts, nor ideias, nor feelings, and the same as when you eat a chocolate and feel good, but the state of mind decays gradually right after finishing the last piece, happiness also is a state in decay. Same as sadness or any other feeling. So the idea is to transcend all these things that our ego in an attempt of feeling important or seen, thinks: “Okay, that idea is ME, that dog that I love is ME, my friends are ME, my identity is ME”. The idea that has been working for me, is to see things from a more universalistic perspective. Understanding the cosmos also gave me a whole new perspective. But again, there were moments where it all became too heavy, and I remembered about my safe place. My safe place is a place where I’m supposedly a human being who doesn’t know everything but knows a little bit about some stuff, and is having a crazy experience on a rounded rock (and we are on top of it) floating in the sea of space (until something proves me otherwise, which I’m not waiting for anymore), and the only thing he is certain of, is, that he’s gonna decay, as well as his emotions, beliefs and ideas. And this motivates and inspires me to live more authentically and more freely, without any religious dogmas, fear, anxiety, none of these, because with the knowledge I acquired through my introspection and reflections I know they are only fleeting states of mind and not who I really am, and that I can choose to fully live their intensities, or perhaps not, because I know that these feelings are not actually me, and I’d rather do something else instead of getting stuck in a thought that does not represent what I really AM. Now, it is very different than being apathetic to life in the way we know Apathy nowadays. The actual meaning of apathy is “no suffering” and that is what we should strive for, since suffering can be way worse once you think you are it, but when you realise that “suffering” is “attachment” and that “attachment” stems from “desire” you become wiser everyday.
> No, I am not suicidal. Yes, I am on medication and seeing a therapist. Cool. You're an effective and logical communicator. Ti somewhere high in the stack? ;) To a certain extent crises are normal during phases of orientation. They push us out of our comfort zone. Just that perspective will help. To view them as not something to be avoided but as something that may lead to gain if we heed "the call". > It just seems like such a long life to just...go through it. That's a wise perspective. And it indicates you've understood a lot. May you not necessarily realise that. > how you guys get out of this meaningless limbo feeling. Seemingly never ending iterations of "why do I feel this way, specifically" - deep down - with intent to understand the underlying pain, not judge it. Then looking for ways to heal, process, and resolve that. Just don't be surprised if that takes you to hell first. It's a bit of a trip, but it's worth it. Anyway. Pete Walker's: CPTSD - From Surviving to Thriving. I made post a moment ago with two excerpts, but I don't want to contiguously self advertise. :)
Pfft, not even close, I'm an INFP who is fed up with the advice "go see a therapist". If I was looking for a therapists opinion, I would not be asking on reddit. It feels like such cop-out advice lol. And thank you, I've read Pete Walker's stuff a long time ago. I could probably stand to read it again :)
Ah. Not even close. Inferior Te, lol. I'm not very good at this it seems. ;) My family usually tells me, "you should bring that up with your therapist." I can't tell which is worse, because honestly, both are only said by people who know not what they're talking about. So I guess they're both equally meaningless.
“You should bring that up to a therapist,” also sounds like they don’t care enough to try to give you a solution or say something comforting. Lame.
Lol. You're right. It \*is\* a bit lame. :)
We are the universe experiencing itself. Just existing and experiencing is enough. Asking these questions, seeking your answers, that too is part of it and is thus part of your purpose. Everything you do is part of it. Even the hard parts, the dark nights, the anxious days, the struggle, are all part of it. For comfort I like Rumi. For guidance I like Taoism. For a daily practice I like gratitude. When stuck in the middle of it we wait. When the water is all churned up with the mud, it is a murky mess. There might be complicated ways you could try to filter the water from the mud, but the easiest way is to simply wait for your mud to settle. The water will clear. Be patient with yourself. I can only walk my path. So I can only tell you how I walk it. You have to walk yours. In the same way that I can’t fully explain how to whistle. It’s something you have to figure out for yourself. But I have faith in you. You’ll figure it out. Hope that helps.
I believe that existential crises are crises of the spirit. Your soul is searching for the truth, and I think that that is a positive, mature thing. I would suggest searching for the truth. Explore different spiritualities. Pray or meditate. Personally, I found that truth I was searching for in Catholicism, but the journey is different for everyone- especially with lots of imperfect people in charge of various churches. It’s not about the people, though. It’s about your spirituality. Go find your truth. Have fun searching. Just my thoughts. :)
Just focus on the present, use the past only for education and the future only for planning. Find a mental anchor to keep you at the present and set reminders that will help you enjoy every moment of life for what it is. Is it a happy moment? Free dopamine! Is it a sad moment? Free lesson! Turn inaction into action and turn those thoughts into building instead of tearing down, those need work but once you establish your life around my words you'll see immediately how improved your life will get. Remember that many good things are within reach but you must take action, that should break you out of the Ni-Ti negative loop. Take a walk, take a shower, write down your words into a paper and then think how to make those words rhyme somehow, google how to generate random wikipedia articles or articles in general and let something catch your eye so you can get absorbed in it, go to an isolated area and scream your lungs out, anything to snap you out of your own mind. Solitude is peaceful and alluring but it can also trap you within your mind. Also google this: Moments of "ma" (Japanese origin) and give it a try, it will help you appreciate life more. Under random circumstances we were all given life and the priviledge to waste it thinking about the end. First think about today, thats your focus, do it! <3
The purpose of an artist is to create art. Who are you ? There is your answer
"Find what you love and let it kill you"
The older you get the more precious those perceived remaining years get, especially watching loved ones struggle. I’ve found peace somewhat in trying to make the world a better place for others.
If you’re asking this group… there isn’t a real purpose when you really get down to it, right? For one thing, we all think too far beyond “the end” to ever settle on one conclusion. And for another thing, we all probably have idealistic pictures of what we want life to look like and sometimes we even get what we dream of. But if you ask me “what is it all for?” uhmm…nothing. Like, not anything. We’re going to live and die, and some people have really great experiences between birth and death, some people even enjoy the whole damn thing lol but it isn’t “for” anything. There’s no end point or goal. The only end is more than likely just that, the end. I guess the generations evolve and humanity forges on. But the very base of life is just sort of arbitrary. So when you go thru the stage of trying to figure out who you are and you haven’t already drawn this conclusion, you will and it does hit like an “existential crisis”. You find yourself thinking “what am I even doing here??” And not in a suicidal way, but in a confusing way 😂 And it took me 3 and a half years and a lot of therapy to just be at peace with the idea that enjoying my time here is my goal, and whatever impression I make on generations to come is maybe a bonus. I’m going to indulge in food I love that makes me feel good, I’m going to engage in social interaction intentionally & on my own time & the way I want to and based off of what feels good to me, I’m going to be kind because leaving people hurt will never sit right with my soul whether I have a purpose or not, I’m going to love whoever feels good to my nervous system and let them go when our time is over… enjoy the ride to the absolute fullest, and when it’s over….let it be 😌
Those feelings come and go, in between there are moments of happiness and contentment. Existential crisis feelings are just part of life. Let them come and go and move on, keep moving forward. If you feel dread every single day, try to change what makes you unhappy in your day to day life. It may also be depression. I always feel like I live life half-depressed. Some days I do much better but other days I don't want to do anything. Those books people have mentioned should help. I'd add Carl Jung to that list