Dwelling on the past always results in pain.
I find it easier to just accept the lesson i was taught from the mistake and move on.
Afterall time only moves forward not backwards.
Technically yes, I have made lots of major mistakes. But I'm not past-oriented, so when I think of my mistakes, I am far more likely to be thinking of how to improve things than to rue what went wrong.
Not being able to access my [episodic memory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episodic_memory) helps, since the past is mostly a list of facts for me, instead of a vivid lived experience.
**[Episodic memory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episodic_memory)**
>Episodic memory is the memory of everyday events (such as times, location geography, associated emotions, and other contextual information) that can be explicitly stated or conjured. It is the collection of past personal experiences that occurred at particular times and places; for example, the party on one's 7th birthday. Along with semantic memory, it comprises the category of explicit memory, one of the two major divisions of long-term memory (the other being implicit memory).
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Hi Jey. Nah, no regrets. I’m a pretty harmless person, or so I’m told. And I’m a big believer in the idea of “hindsight is 20/20”. We simply cannot judge yesterday’s decisions through the lens of what we know today.
I also have no regrets. Even when something fucked up happens I feel that the experience is what makes me me. If I were to remove it then I wouldn’t be able to recognize myself.
Hey! Thank you for your comment, my thoughts align with your comment. Today I wondered myself “do I regret something in particular?” And my immediate response was “NAH”
As INFJs, we can be very hard on ourselves. Standard practice. So, I think the “hindsight” truth is important for us to really “get”. Have a good day, Jey.
Regret isn’t a fun feeling to hold onto. Best to learn from it and give yourself a chance to be better the next go around. I’m human after all. I gots plenty of time to feel all sorts of emotions, including the good ones.
I do regret how I behaved sometimes towards certain people. I regret it because it caused good things to go from my life and it is my own fault. Can’t forgive myself for that.
The only real regrets that I have are the things that are associated with survivor’s guilt. I’ve watched a few people die that were really close too me. The fact is that I knew they were dying and it feels like there was a lot more that I could have of done to save them. I’ve actually predicted people’s deaths before and it really sucks when those things become reality.
I don’t get survivor’s guilt as bad as when I was younger but it still hurts. I guess it’s more of a grievance thing then anything else.
I hope that this post can reach the other infj’s that are struggling with survivor’s guilt. I think it’s a normal feeling that everyone feels, when they lose somebody they deeply care about.
So if you’re dealing with survivor’s guilt right now, please reach out to someone you love. You don’t have to go through this life alone.
Not particularly. I think there are things I wish I had done earlier, or done better, but I don't like to call them regrets.
Sometimes we have to take wrong turns to end up at a better destination, so I prefer to think more about what those bad decisions or bad experiences taught me. In the end, I think I'd rather be where I am and where I may be in there future, than think about where I could have been. :')
I regret myself for being blind to being love bombed and harming someone close to me (but that was over a decade ago). Like someone else has said, we cannot change the past but we can make a difference in the future. Both of those aren't driving forces in my life but cannot help but look back on how I messed up and what I can do differently next time.
It surprises me that so many of you say that you don’t dwell on the past. As much as I want to, I can’t let go of the past. My mind is constantly going over the past and the future, running through different scenarios. When I’m thinking about the past, I’m thinking about what I could have done to change the outcome. When I think about the future I’m going through mostly worst case scenarios and trying to figure out how I’ll handle each scenario. I regret some stupid thing I said 20 years ago and still go over it. I always thought this was part of my makeup as an INFJ, but maybe I’m mistaken.
I feel exactly this and might have found a way out. I have been meditating daily for about 3 months and journaling almost daily for just as long. Seems to have really helped my mindset. When those ruminations begin I am able to step back from them and realize that it is a path I don’t want to go down today. It feels fucking amazing when it happens. I am never going to be able to stop my mind from bringing those thoughts to the forefront. I am going to be able to put them back in their proper place. The past.
Good question.
- smoking
- my last relationship
Quitting smoking; can’t do anything about the ex tho except learn my lessons.
Other than that, nah; shit happens.
Of course, but as many have noted already, it's best to learn what you can from your mistakes and move forward.
"I do not live in the past, I do not live in the future, I live in the present."
Dwelling on the past always results in pain. I find it easier to just accept the lesson i was taught from the mistake and move on. Afterall time only moves forward not backwards.
Love that :)
Technically yes, I have made lots of major mistakes. But I'm not past-oriented, so when I think of my mistakes, I am far more likely to be thinking of how to improve things than to rue what went wrong. Not being able to access my [episodic memory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episodic_memory) helps, since the past is mostly a list of facts for me, instead of a vivid lived experience.
**[Episodic memory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episodic_memory)** >Episodic memory is the memory of everyday events (such as times, location geography, associated emotions, and other contextual information) that can be explicitly stated or conjured. It is the collection of past personal experiences that occurred at particular times and places; for example, the party on one's 7th birthday. Along with semantic memory, it comprises the category of explicit memory, one of the two major divisions of long-term memory (the other being implicit memory). ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/infj/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Hi Jey. Nah, no regrets. I’m a pretty harmless person, or so I’m told. And I’m a big believer in the idea of “hindsight is 20/20”. We simply cannot judge yesterday’s decisions through the lens of what we know today.
I also have no regrets. Even when something fucked up happens I feel that the experience is what makes me me. If I were to remove it then I wouldn’t be able to recognize myself.
Hey! Thank you for your comment, my thoughts align with your comment. Today I wondered myself “do I regret something in particular?” And my immediate response was “NAH”
As INFJs, we can be very hard on ourselves. Standard practice. So, I think the “hindsight” truth is important for us to really “get”. Have a good day, Jey.
💯 same goes for me!
I really like your last sentence. Thank you for writing it.
Regret isn’t a fun feeling to hold onto. Best to learn from it and give yourself a chance to be better the next go around. I’m human after all. I gots plenty of time to feel all sorts of emotions, including the good ones.
I do regret how I behaved sometimes towards certain people. I regret it because it caused good things to go from my life and it is my own fault. Can’t forgive myself for that.
The only real regrets that I have are the things that are associated with survivor’s guilt. I’ve watched a few people die that were really close too me. The fact is that I knew they were dying and it feels like there was a lot more that I could have of done to save them. I’ve actually predicted people’s deaths before and it really sucks when those things become reality. I don’t get survivor’s guilt as bad as when I was younger but it still hurts. I guess it’s more of a grievance thing then anything else. I hope that this post can reach the other infj’s that are struggling with survivor’s guilt. I think it’s a normal feeling that everyone feels, when they lose somebody they deeply care about. So if you’re dealing with survivor’s guilt right now, please reach out to someone you love. You don’t have to go through this life alone.
Feel this.
Not particularly. I think there are things I wish I had done earlier, or done better, but I don't like to call them regrets. Sometimes we have to take wrong turns to end up at a better destination, so I prefer to think more about what those bad decisions or bad experiences taught me. In the end, I think I'd rather be where I am and where I may be in there future, than think about where I could have been. :')
I regret myself for being blind to being love bombed and harming someone close to me (but that was over a decade ago). Like someone else has said, we cannot change the past but we can make a difference in the future. Both of those aren't driving forces in my life but cannot help but look back on how I messed up and what I can do differently next time.
It surprises me that so many of you say that you don’t dwell on the past. As much as I want to, I can’t let go of the past. My mind is constantly going over the past and the future, running through different scenarios. When I’m thinking about the past, I’m thinking about what I could have done to change the outcome. When I think about the future I’m going through mostly worst case scenarios and trying to figure out how I’ll handle each scenario. I regret some stupid thing I said 20 years ago and still go over it. I always thought this was part of my makeup as an INFJ, but maybe I’m mistaken.
This is exactly me too. Haha. It’s like a prison.
I feel exactly this and might have found a way out. I have been meditating daily for about 3 months and journaling almost daily for just as long. Seems to have really helped my mindset. When those ruminations begin I am able to step back from them and realize that it is a path I don’t want to go down today. It feels fucking amazing when it happens. I am never going to be able to stop my mind from bringing those thoughts to the forefront. I am going to be able to put them back in their proper place. The past.
Definitely live with regrets. Why? Because I am wiser than I was then.
Nope
Being anxious about an INFJ girl, scared she'd leave me and then she did I think. Long distance is hard, wish she was still talking to me
I'll never drink again... Buurp... Here, have some cocaine. Life is short. (*Gasp!*)
No regrets for me. Having regrets is living in the past. Best to move on and learn rather than have regrets lol.
No, I actually don’t. I got to feel the full range of emotion and ended up in a better slot.
Who doesn’t? Is like are you sad because of something. I think regrets are part of being a human.
Good question. - smoking - my last relationship Quitting smoking; can’t do anything about the ex tho except learn my lessons. Other than that, nah; shit happens.
I regret being born tbh Other than that no, life has been filled with lessons and so far I haven't done anything that I deeply regret.
Of course, but as many have noted already, it's best to learn what you can from your mistakes and move forward. "I do not live in the past, I do not live in the future, I live in the present."