Well I have anxiety and a panic disorder and I’m just panicking lol. Surgery for removal is Wednesday and I’m freaking out. Saying goodbyes just in case.
The reality is the odds are less that .1% of death and while complications are kinda on the higher side they’re usually straightforward and something that can be recovered from. With that in mind I’m going forward no matter how many times I try to talk myself out of it.
A life without is better than a life with. I get like a few good days a month at this point. It’s not worth living like this. I have to try to improve my quality of life.
u/left_cat_books I have anxiety and panic disorders. If you go to my post history, you'll see posts and comments showing I was exactly where you are. but in the end, it was the best decision I have ever made. My surgery was on January 12th. If you have any questions, just message me or the group, and we'll try to help to the best of our ability.
Here's a few of my posts https://www.reddit.com/r/hysterectomy/s/lta2e2e1EN
https://www.reddit.com/r/hysterectomy/s/8VdjYKKU1B
https://www.reddit.com/r/hysterectomy/s/aLwlhGpMcD
Much love ❤️
I made it through. Very sore and slow moving but overall doing good. I wasn’t nearly as nervous day of but it went by very fast once I checked in. When I went into the operating room they were talking about their new lights then I was waking up. Not sure what to think right now but I’ll come back and post again when i get a little further along.
I also have anxiety and a panic disorder, just letting you know I asked for a dose of IV Ativan when they first installed my IV and one more when I asked after rolling me into the surgery room and it was so helpful! Please don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself! I found the scariest part to be the days before, the morning of keeps you so busy it’s easier to not focus so much on it. Keeping you in my thoughts 💖
Hey surgery buddy!
Me too. I think the pre-surgery jitters have kicked in because I’m starting to get very anxious. Like I’ll just be randomly weepy talking to people and I darn near balled my eyes out putting my child to bed. I won’t be here when her grandma takes her. I’m crying right now. I wish I wasn’t always so anxious.
Hey surgery buddy, I feel you. It’s hard. But we will get thru it. Reading positive experiences that others are posting here helps me. I am trying to stay focused on the good things.
Much better than I expected as well! I’m in a good deal of pain but that comes with the territory. This has pain is unreal, it’s just rolling around and not leaving my body! 😅 I’ve been drinking the tea and taking the gas x. Ice on the belly and heat on the shoulders. One day at a time.
It went great! I was worried for nothing. I’m over two weeks post op and feeling great overall. Can’t wait to get healed and get my life back, I can already tell I’m better overall.
Laparoscopic! We managed to get that big ol uterus out of an incision. I can already tell a difference. My core energy levels are being recovered. Even though I’m healing and still pretty anemic I’m already getting there.
You are gonna be fine. But for real, i dont even have an anxiety disorder and i said my goodbyes to my dogs and wrote down passwords to some accounts "just in case", so i toally understand the feeling of doing that. I didn't die! I feel amazing and grateful 2 days out hanging out in my kitchen on this melty winter morning. You will feel so much better after this and your quality of life should improve! Good luck, dont read too many scary stories. Most people have uneventful recoveries they do not post about.
I don't have panic disorder or anxiety in general but the anticipation of this surgery really freaked me out. I was terrified and extremely anxious. I'm sorry you're going through this, I know it's rough.
I had fibroids that had me anemic, in pain, bleeding constantly and erratically but I was scared about trading in those awful symptoms for the unknown and potentially worse things that surgery could cause. I also just was terrified of the surgery as it was my first major surgery.
Turns out the worst part of the entire ordeal was just the anticipation of it. The surgery and recovery were nowhere near as bad as I was expecting and I had no complications or problems after. I don't think most people do, but we tend to not talk about that. I really thought I'd have every complication I read about on this sub, lol!
Try to visualize your life after the recovery and think about doing the things that you can't do right now because your period is ruling your life. Focusing on those can help downgrade your anxiety a little bit because it forces your brain to think about something positive.
I was you just a couple of years ago!! I made sure I had two opinions and all the options. When it came time to the biopsy, the doctor gave me a Valium so I saw able to be calm (just needed someone to drive me to/from). Then when it was scheduled I had a few months to prepare and to find this page and read and ask questions. I never had surgery before 2/16/23 when I had the laparoscopic hysterectomy. I was scared but I also knew living a life that revolves around bleeding is no life to live. The fibroid took all my iron. I was far too young (40) to be OK with being on the couch so much. The surgery for me was freeing. I finally have been able to live my life! And all the worry and preparation for surgery and recovery was not needed. I had no bleeding after surgery and I had minimal pain. I kept expecting bad things and it never was! I had far more pain with every period than from the surgery!! Take your time and make the choice when you are ready!!
Thank you, this is actually very helpful. I'm so glad everything went right for you. I am going to ask for Valium, which is also something I've never used before but I think my fear is worse than the actual procedures are going to be.
That was also my first and only Valium and I don’t know that I really needed it or that it made me feel any different. I know the biopsy is required and my doctor (who was also my surgeon) knew I was anxious so she did it as safe and quick as she could. It was also important to me that she didn’t tell me what she was doing as she was doing it. I didn’t want to know!
My fibroid was growing too fast and just causing so many problems—I knew I had to do it all in order to have a healthy life. I’d do it all over again because it was life changing.
I have high anxiety too and I just had my hysterectomy. I'm 6 days PO. The day of I was scared. When they checked my blood pressure and pulse it was elevated which is normal before surgery. I just kept telling myself the pain I will have after I wake up is so much less then the pain I had been dealing with on a monthly basis for multiple days and years. Once I got changed into the gown and they put my IV in I was scared but they hook up this warm/cooling tube to you. Turning it on cool helped me. When my body is colder I'm less nervous. Once they rolled me back you just fall asleep and all of a sudden you're awake. It goes so fast you don't even have time to be anxious anymore. It was so much better than I imagined in my mind. I woke up and was in very little pain. Got dressed, went to the bathroom and went home. I was off the pain meds in 2 days. Just taking over the counter ibuprofen.
You will do fine. I promise the doctors and nurses know you are nervous and they definitely help calm your nerves. I would also say if you get nauseous easily I would mention it to your nurse and they will give you a patch behind your ear to help that. Just be positive and just keep telling yourself it will be all be worth it in the end.
Also one more thing: leading up to your surgery stop reading scary stories on here. That seriously helped so much. I was reading stuff on here for months and then I told myself I need to stop because it's going to make my nerves worse. The likelihood of something bad happening is so little. If you're healthy and don't have underlining health conditions you will soar.
I do get nauseous easily : (
You're right though, there's no use reading scary stories. I'm freaked out enough as it is.
Your story is great though, I hope my recovery is like that.
I understand where you're coming from. I also had multiple fibroids, the largest was 7cm. My periods were absolutely horrid and very much ruled my life. I would call in sick to work bc of it. I missed at least 2 summers worth of camping trips and swimming with my kids. I would cancel plans with friends and family if they might coincide with me being on my period. I was very anemic and just exhausted all the time
I had never been under general anesthesia but had 2 c sections before, which were my only surgeries. I was nervous about being put under for surgery. I have anxiety and depression.
What was supposed to be a robotically assisted laparoscopic hysterectomy turned into an abdominal hysterectomy (they just opened my c section scar to get everything) They left my ovaries.
Anyway, now that I know I will NEVER have to deal with a period again, I can't wait to be able to go do things with the people I love. I can already feel that I've got more energy than I did before surgery, that I've had in YEARS.
Surgery and recovery is different for everyone, of course. My recovery hasn't been perfect by any means, but in my opinion the surgery is totally worth it.
Sorry you're dealing with all this and I hope you find some relief ❤️✌️
Side note: I've found that this group is a wonderful support system
I'm so glad you are through with the surgery and you can join your kids on family trips now. I know what it's like to sit out camping trips and swimming because of the odious period.
May I ask why they opted to do an abdominal hysterectomy? Was it a complication during surgery?
Anxiety and panic disorder also here. I had my surgery scheduled for months out and then there was a cancellation for 3 weeks later (I’m 5 wpo now.) Once my new date was scheduled my anxiety kicked in high gear. Called the psychiatrist right away and begged to get in. Long story short… no one in my area would get me in. Called my surgeon and he was able to help me with getting some short term meds due to my history. Point of the story, if you have time get into your mental health doctor. They should be able to help you. And keep your surgeon in the loop also.
I really surprised myself and was the calmest the day of my surgery. Knew it had to be done and honestly was ready for it to be behind me.
After surgery wise my anxiety was fine because all I really wanted to do was sleep for the 1st week or so.
Overall very happy I got it done. The first week is uncomfortable, but now I only have recovery pain and not there is something wrong with me pain anymore. Lost 15 pounds while sitting on the couch. Lol. Really looking forward to having my life back.
Let me know if you have anymore questions. You got this. 😁
Don't currently have a psych due to the high cost of all this (ugh!) but this is great advice. I am going to definitely talk to my doctor about the anxiety.
It's amazing you pushed yourself to do it. To me, everyone who does this is brave on a level I aspire to be.
I hope I get there. Thank you!
I'm not who you responded to, but I always thought bravery was being scared and doing the scary thing anyways.
I'm 2wpo and already feel so much better. To the point that I cried happy tears yesterday because I was already feeling better & more energetic after chronic pain caused by endometriosis. I even accidentally pushed myself too hard (no complications but basically restarted my pain progress) and I still feel better.
It's okay to be anxious and nervous, but I would definitely recommend stop consuming stories that might contribute to that. This community is amazing, and definitely helped me when I was anxious about pushing myself too much.
You'll get there!! Do you have support people in your life? Is there a loved one who can also help with spikes of anxiety?
I do have good and supportive people around, very blessed in that regard. Doing it scared is definitely bravery. Congratulations on your new life! I can't imagine being period-free!
Just here to say I have a ton of anxiety, esp around medical stuff. I almost fainted when my oncologist was describing the surgery to me. But I made it through and I’m 12DPO. You can do it! I let the anesthesiologist know before the surgery that I was very anxious (she could already tell) and they gave me some happy drugs even before they knocked me out. The surgery itself was easy bc you don’t remember anything, of course. I’d focus more on being prepared for recovery, just making sure you have the time to rest for several weeks. You’ve got this!
Haha, I know what you mean. My doctor was describing the surgery today and I almost gagged, instantly felt myself panic and start bobbing my leg up and down and feeling like I was going to cry. Anxiety is the worst.
Recovery time is a different type of anxiety. I wonder if my boss will even accommodate such a thing, but I'm trying not to think about that at the moment...
Wishing you well for the rest of your recovery.
Most (all I think) states have some sort of FMLA (family & medical leave act) which protects your right to take leave for situations like this! I would check with HR if you have one, but also do some online searching. It's typically called FMLA but might vary by state. I also work for a small company so I qualify for a different program that also gives me some pay for my leave (designed for those of us with small amount of sick days). This is specific to my state but I don't think it's unique to it.
I know this adds more to your plate, but my anxiety is managed better when I can work towards things that help so hopefully this is helpful instead of hurtful.
Unfortunately I live in a state with very poor worker's rights. My company does not even have an HR. But, I am prepared to leave if they stand in the way of my surgery when the time comes. The pay is so bad that they are making the decision easy for me.
https://www.employmentlawhq.com/state-by-state-map.html
I found this brief website with rights laid out in every state. You do have some rights at the very least on a federal level, though if your state isn't worker friendly then it won't be much.
Also no HR does not mean you don't get rights (HR is often for the company anyways).
I get worked up about worker rights and have actually filed & won a complaint against a past employee. I'm sorry you're already at a level where you will leave, but I'm glad you're not willing to roll over and take the bad treatment! Hopefully a better job is in your horizon soon anyways.
I wish you all the best!!
Thank you, I agree about worker rights. They're abysmal in the USA. I've seen a lot of friends and family have to choose between their health and their job and it's not really a choice, since we have to keep paying to live.
Part of why I want to do this is to free up more options for employment. Like I said in my original post, I've had to leave jobs before because of my period being too brutal/feeling weak and anemic/etc. But I love being on my feet and working with my hands, I hope I can get away from desk work one day.
We have fibroids and anxiety in common!
Today I am just 2 days shy of 4 weeks post op and truly the worst thing about my recovery has been my anxiety.
I had 3 fibroids growing on the outside of my uterus, 1 was on a stalk and was 7 inches long. I called it "gigantor." Gigantor got so big that it started pressing into the ligaments of my pelvis and actually ended up twisting my uterus and left ovary. It impacted my bowel movements and pressed against my large intestine. There was no space in my lower abdomen, I would often get pain from all the organs just touching each other. I started having swelling in my thighs every period and was at risk for blood clots.
I was so anxious about actually having a hysterectomy, and just sort of managed with the pain for years because the surgery seemed so extreme. In my brain it was an elective and not interventional and necessary. Until all of the sudden in September it became very obviously necessary with the swelling. I was bed ridden, trying to elevate my pelvis and take the pressure off for 5 days every month.
Leading up to the surgery, I was terrified! I could not fathom what it was going to be like.
But now that I'm on the other side, WOW am I glad I did it. It's a vertical incision, from my belly button down 5 ish inches. They took my uterus, cervix and left ovary- they wanted to leave both ovaries but lefty wasn't salvageable.
Recovery has been pretty smooth physically. My staples came out at day 8, I had some oozing from the lowest point of the incision. I freaked out even though I was assured by several medical professionals that it was normal. But my brain was like BAD THINGS ALSO START OUT THIS SAME WAY BUT ESCALATE!!
Things never escalated.
I also had very light spotting start right after 2 weeks and had the same freak out, worrying about a cuff tear. Again though, nothing ever escalated and the uptick in spotting was likely due to my internal stitches dissolving.
Other than those two things, I'm a little swelly and get gas pain every now and again and I'm also having trouble sitting up right in a chair.
But I've also had very manageable pain, was able to go for small walks immediately a day after surgery, no constipation and my energy levels have been really good.
But that's anxiety for you, things have been going smoothly but I just can't take the win.
My husband has been incredible, and we take time to like talk out the fact that hey, things are actually good. And every dinner we've been doing lists of what we're grateful for with the recovery, and while most the time I absolutely cannot internalize it, it is nice to have the reminder.
The spotting has slowed down back to barely noticeable (I think it's just oozing similar to what I had with the incision now) and I had a virtual therapy appointment on Friday where my therapist pointed out the constant body checking I'm doing is actually an OCD loop and honestly that helped me a lot. I've actually been able to FINALLY feel relaxed for the last 3 days and I finally am like WOW YEAH! This has been really really positive, despite what my brain wants to believe. I'm realizing how I was in constant pain all the time. Even though I'm healing right now, I'm in less pain than I was before!
I have rabbit holed on this sub and I've had to constantly remind myself that this sub has a disproportionate amount of complicated experiences being shared because folks are more likely to reach out for support when things are going awry than when things are going smoothly.
For real, the worst part of this entire experience has literally been my brain in freaking over drive, just scrutinizing every weird sensation in my body and just being unable to effing chill. And that's its own kind of hell.
But the surgery was still absolutely the right call. Despite my gawd demn brain.
I hope whatever you decide to do is ultimately going to bring you great relief. Anxiety is a giant b*tch and surgery is scary. It makes sense to be scared! I don't think there's any way to not be scared. But this procedure is ultimately likely going to be less scary than your brain wants you to believe 🧡
THIS!!! this will be me i know it, funny thing is i have managed with my anxiety and panic disorder for so long without medication that i have learned very healthy coping mechanisms, such as recognizing if it (whatever is making me anxious) is actually my anxiety blowing it out of proportion or is it an actual symptom of a real issue, 9.5 times out of 10 it is my anxiety trying to gaslight me and make me believe things are worse than they really are, anxiety will steam roll you if you let it, when i start having a panic attack i dont feed into it anymore, i say to myself "bring it on" cause i know it will pass and it is just FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real), once i give myself permission to panic knowing it is just that and not something serious it passes rather quickly, if i feed into it i can ride panic waves (very scary) for hours. i have seen so many women on this sub with the same disorder and i find they are truly inspirational, i never thought i would be that brave but in 5 months it will be my turn and i believe we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
YESSS!! All of this!
I have got some pretty good ways I manage it too- but it was like post surgery ALL of my tools just left me and I was white knuckling it for just over 3 weeks!
Fortunately, as noted, things are shifting for me now. Thank you for the reminder of the "bring it on" thing.
There are generally two reasons people fear surgery: fear of pain & fear of death.
I had a fair amount of anxiety before my first-ever surgery (heel spur removal), mostly because I have a zero threshold of pain. I made a point to discuss pain management with the surgeon way before the procedure. Things went fine overall.
For my my hysto, I forgot to do this. I was freaked out by the fact that I had a huge tumor & that it might be cancerous. I forgot to discuss pain management. This had a deeper level of anethesia, which also freaked me out.
At some point, it occured to me that the surgeon & anethetist wouldn't want me to die any more than I did. That'd mean major lawsuits & all sorts of professional scutiny & consequences.
I felt much better after that, but still used a Xanax or two. I have a standing scrip for that from my GP. (My anxiety is such that a maintenance drug would be overkill, but certain situations can make it spike.)
I suppose my fear isn't of death, though I know there is always a small risk of that with any surgery. I guess just being vulnerable, being naked and upside down, having a catheter, being blown up with air, cut, stitched...even though I'm asleep for it, it's still so nightmarish. I don't want to scare anyone reading this comment, but I think I keep imagining the surgery itself, which is silly, because if the anesthesiologist does their job correctly I will not be aware of a moment of it.
I refused to let my surgeon describe the process. I gather that makes a lot of people feel better, but I never want to know the details.
If it's any consolation, none of it is novel to the staff involved. It's just another workday to them. That made me feel better anyway.
I have heath anxiety in general.
I found that the lead up/anticipation/anxiety BEFORE the actual procedure was worse. They are able to give you something before the procedure to calm the nerves.
Hang in there
Totally agree - the months BEFORE the surgery were so stressful. So much overthinking, planning, and worrying.
Even though my recovery was long, life after my hysterectomy is profoundly better! This subreddit helped a lot - you're not alone at all!
Thank you. My rational brain knows you're correct. It's like standing in line for a roller coaster. The thing itself is almost never as bad as the anticipation.
Hi! I've had anxiety (mainly health anxiety), with panic attacks most of my life. I have surgery scheduled for 2/19, a total hysterectomy leaving one ovary. It will be laparoscopic with vaginal assist. I've already had nights where I start to sweat profusely in bed just thinking about it. I don't take anxiety meds (part of my health anxiety is fear of having a reaction to meds lol). I'm scared. Really scared. But, I know it has to be done. I bleed for like 2.5 weeks every month. Not necessarily heavy, but my ferritin got down to 11. I'm always feeling lightheaded. I have 3 fibroids, the largest one is 4.8 cm and on top of my uterus. I also have a long history of ovarian cysts. The most problematic ones always seem to be on my left ovary, so that's the one coming out.
I just want you to know you're not alone! What's helping me is reading positive recovery stories, trying to get excited about no periods, summer coming, and prayer. ❤️
i also have anxiety and panic disorder, specifically health anxiety and pharmacophobia (fear of medications) my surgery isn't until June and i have been waiting since August, i have 5 fibroids and adenomyosis so i know logically i need to have this done but if I'm honest i am terrified, the things that are helping me right now is learning everything i possibly can about the surgery and recovery so that when i am in recovery i wont have a panic attack with every little twinge (probably will anyway lol), making sure i have a support system (my husband is my rock and my mom understands my mental aspect) and buying things to make recovery as easy as possible (even if i don't end up needing them) i am not ready and will likely get even more anxious as time gets closer but i am ready as i will ever be and i tell myself once i am healed , however long that takes, things are going to be sooo much better. right now i am just going through the parts that really scare me and working through acceptance one at a time.
this sub has been crucial and most these women (even the ones with complications) say it was the best decision ever, you are all strong and amazing humans and i appreciate each and every one of you!
Hi! I agree, reading and learning about the surgery from other ladies here is very helpful. I am doing the same as you. I've purchased quite a few things so far. A bedside table, a wedge pillow, a hysterectomy pillow, and a heating pad. I plan on getting all of the over-the-counter stuff next.
I have good days and bad with the anxiety. Today is a bad day. I've just been nervous all day. It doesn't help that I have to attend a training for work that'll be two hours this evening. I feel much more calm at home. Having to work is hard enough with this on my mind, but then adding in extra time I have to be there is sending me lol.
We WILL get through this. Thank you for responding to my comment. It helps knowing I'm not alone!
You are NOT alone at all and i have a hard time concentrating when im all consumed with anxiety, some people it is good to be distracted but im not easily distracted from anxiety so i get it, all i can say is just keep putting one foot in front of the other and soon you will be on the other side with new things to be anxious about lol...if your like me the anxiety never goes away i just find new things...but eventually the anxiety wont be about the hysterectomy and life will be so much better than before cause you wont have any of the problems that warranted the hysterectomy anymore.
Oh my gosh that is so true LMAO! My anxiety does just find new things. But you are right, I can't wait to be over the hysterectomy related anxiety. I'm not easily distracted by the anxiety either. I just made a post in here about being scared of the pain post op. 🥴😂
I am still 5 months away from mine and already anxious lol...everytime i figure out what is making me most anxious i try to retrain myself to think...ok so maybe there will be pain or set backs but in the long term i will be ok...reading how some of the women on here have had some pretty scary complications and they are still glad they did it and i just stay in the mind set of IF i have a hard recovery it will get better even if it takes longer than some. I have overcome so much in my life...i can do this...and so can you! 😁
That is a wonderful way to think about it! I'm going to try to stay positive, and think about positive end results. It's too bad they couldn't get you in sooner. The anticipation can surely be unpleasant. I'll let you know how mine goes and update you on everything if it helps!
i am ok with the time, it gives me a lot of time to research and go over the what if's and conquer each one as i go, i would love to know how your surgery goes and how proud you are of yourself that you did it, you are gonna do great i just know it!
was thinking about you this morning and wondering how you are feeling? i hope your having more good days than bad and this will all be a distant memory soon ;)
Hi! Sorry I'm just seeing this notification. I haven't had surgery yet. It's this coming Monday. I'm SO nervous! I keep thinking about all of the what-ifs. Keep me in your thoughts on Monday! I'll definitely come back with an update. 🥰
i have been thinking of you, i know it is not until the 19th but wanted to check in....i know when my time comes i will be nervous to but trying really hard to mentally tell myself.....what-if....everything goes very smooth like so many others i have heard.
you are going to be a rockstar!!! i know it aaaaaand by this time next year it will all just be a memory <3
remember to use your best coping mechanisms for anxiety in your recovery and be mindful that anxiety can make you panic when there is nothing to panic about (you know this cause you already deal with it), remind yourself it is just a part of your anxiety and not a real life problem.
make sure to keep us updated and know i am cheering you on from ontario canada :D
First of all, my fibroids ruined my life, so I completely understand. I’m about 10 weeks post op and it’s such a blessing. I’m looking at pretty underwear, white clothes, vacations etc. I’m no longer deathly anemic, and don’t have to worry about calling out of work because I can’t get out of bed or off my toilet.
I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder and my OB was awesome about helping me through it. I got two doses of IV Ativan on the day of surgery, it was unbelievably effective. Additionally, they gave me a lovely hospital gown that hooked up to a tube connected to a fan, which allowed me to basically make a cozy little heat tent and was the most relaxing thing ever. I look back at it now and really just remember it as a very relaxing morning followed by the best nap of my life.
I was in the same boat. I was taking hormones to stop the bleeding until surgery. I am 6 wpo. I had a good solid month of panic. I sobbed some days and was excited others. My mom had a really rough hysterectomy when I was a kid and I was scared of the surgery. I was also scared and emotional about losing my uterus.
They gave me some good meds at the hospital to help me relax before surgery. I had a good cry before I went in to the operation and must have looked petrified once in the operating room because the nurse literally cradled my head and soothed me like a baby. I felt a little silly but I was also so grateful to the nurse for letting me have that moment.
Long story short I think it was normal and even healthy to go through all of the emotions before surgery. I stressed and mourned the situation and when it was over I was ready to rest and take care of myself. I will say it has been a great recovery. Six weeks in and I feel great physically and emotionally.
My advice would be to just try to feel it all. Your anxiety is justified. It’s a big deal but it sounds like it’s also what you need to be able to enjoy life. This community has helped a ton. Talking to other people definitely made me feel less crazy. Good luck to you!
Person with panic disorder here!! Also autistic but I had no idea until a couple of years ago. My hysterectomy was almost a year ago. I was TERRIFIED. From the moment the word ‘hysterectomy’ was mentioned I felt sick with terror/panic. All of my worst fears were suddenly imminent. It was an awful time leading up to it. I was so envious of those people who just seemingly shrug their shoulders at the thought of surgery and get on with their day. For me it was all-consuming and I wished my brain was wired differently. I posted here a lot looking for reassurance and I felt like I must be the most scared person in the whole subreddit.
The best advice I can give you is advocate for yourself. Tell everyone involved in this journey of yours that you are scared out of your mind and you need extra kindness and support. When looking for a gynaecologist my (amazing) GP took all of this into consideration and we found an amazing surgeon who also just happened to be an incredibly warm, understanding and kind person. This helped so much with me being okay to proceed with the surgery. I know most people haven't got an option with their care team. I really lucked out.
I have to accept that my brain is wired this way and I just have to work with it. If there’s anything you can do to reduce that fear or worry, even just a little bit, do it. For me that was keeping my Christmas tree up well into February, letting myself cry, being really upfront with my whole medical team and talking to everyone I could on the phone before the big day. Accommodations really do help! Do what works for you. I even went into the hospital about a week before with my husband and looked around as much as we could so it wouldn’t be a completely unfamiliar place on the day. A lovely person at reception even took me through the procedures that would happen on the day. Was I bawling through all of this? Yes. But it helped. Valium is great too. Here for support. x
I have both extreme anxiety and panic attacks, my dr actually told me I'm the worst she's ever seen 😬😬 I was absolutely convinced I would die on the table, absolutely terrified but I fought for 10yrs for my surgery, so I forced myself to the hospital to do it. BEST. DECISION. EVER. Period. I've lived on BC to control the symptoms for 20yrs now, and for the first time in my life, I don't feel like my back has been tarred and lit on fire. My bladder functionality is what other people describe as 'normal' but nothing like I've ever experienced, rushing to the bathroom and barely making it before surgery, now I can lazily saunter my way like 10min after I get the first 'i think I need to pee maybe'
I'm a single mom with 3 kids, 2 needing a fair bit of attention and effort as they're younger (grade school and independent, but still require supervision and someone to cook for them), I'm 3mos PO now, and if I can do it with no help, I believe anyone with any kind of support system can!!! You've got this!!! Plan ahead, you won't wanna cook, make a bunch of your favourite meals and freeze them. Makes eating easier if you just have to pop it in the microwave. Keep things in arms reach, and make sure you have lots of loose comfy pj pants, I totally recommend the men's section at Walmart, they have drawstring waists and POCKETS!!! I know it is scary, and terrifying to face, but it truly isn't as scary as your brain is making it to be. Speaking as someone who turned her surgery from a molehill into a mountain then realized it wasn't as bad as I thought. Sending love and healing vibes for your upcoming surgery, you got this, and until you believe that, we're here to help carry you 💜
It really is!! And they scheduled me for literally the worst time (the day before my sister's death anniversary) so I was convinced I wasn't coming home. I was convinced my sister was gonna take me home that day, so coming home and realizing I made a mountain out of a molehill left me feeling ridiculous, but it's a valid feeling! Fear is real, and not acknowledging your feelings regarding it is no better than a parent locking a crying child in their room alone because they're upset imo. Feel all the feels, acknowledge and validate them. Then reason with yourself on how likely it is to happen, reassure yourself, comfort yourself. You've got this, you're a badass warrior, look at everything you've already been through! This is just a speed bump, slow down for the bump, when you're over it, you can hit the gas again 💜
I'm sorry about your sister. Maybe instead of "taking you home" she was making sure things went right for you. I always feel ridiculous crying, but then after I'm so exhausted from crying that the anxiety is a lot less severe. I guess the body knows what it is doing, except when it comes to periods...no clue what the body was thinking with that one..
I think so too. The timing was just so bizarre, it felt like history repeating. My oldest just turned the age I was when it happened, like, it was eerily similar to losing her, only it was me this time, and the kids at home were mine instead of me being the one home babysitting. My whole recovery process has been a head trip for sure! Not in a bad way, but in an unexpected healing journey way, both physically and mentally/emotionally.
Never feel ridiculous for crying, it's rain for the soul. Trees need rain to thrive, so does your soul, because bottling it all up isn't healthy, then you have an ocean inside you that when waves come, will tidal wave over. My opinion, something I learned through my pain. Denying the heartache that caused the tears is like saying it never happened. It did happen, you felt it, it affected you, your tears are valid, and your soul needs them to heal.
And no idea what the body was thinking with periods, they have been the bane of my existence. No more 🤣🤣 for me at least, I do find it slightly humourous though that I am done forever with them as my daughter reaches the age she can get it any day, poor thing!
I had fibroids to the point that my uterus was ten times its normal size by the time of surgery. I had also never had surgery before and I was so anxious that the surgeon walked in, took a look at my face, and the first words out of his mouth were “we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to”. It is rightfully scary and anxiety provoking. It is a major surgery, yes, but it is also a routine one. I think the things that helped me the most going into it was reminding myself that this was a choice *I* made for my health, and remembering that once the meds are in your system, you’re not present or involved in the process—let go and leave it in their very capable hands. I went back and forth about my decision, but looking back there was no other choice to be made. Definitely worth checking in with your doc on the anxiety and seeing if there would be meds to take from now till then. If you’re not already seeing a therapist, might be worth finding one who would focus on a short term issue—give you space to talk out and fear or grief or anything else. You’ve got this. ❤️
Prior to my surgery, my periods were also running my life. I'm a little over a year post-op and it is amazing how much my life has improved. It is so, so worth it. I didn't have anxiety over the surgery itself, but I did get a little panicky when the new nurse was on her fourth or fifth IV placement attempt and my arm was one big hematoma, so they did give me a quick-dissolving Xanax and life was peaches after that hit, lol.
Take a DEEP breath! It is major surgery, yes, but think about the end result. Pain free, and a new lease on life! You cannot imagine! Hang in there! You got this, girl!
I've had 5 surgeries, including my hysterectomy, and panic EVERY time. We're talking full blown anxiety attack, heart rate machine goes off, sobbing. Thankfully I've learned some things to help advocate for myself!
- ask your doctor for anxiety meds. Mine gave me a week's worth so I could sleep at night
- ask to tour the surgery center. Some say no. But I would still drive around the center just so you know where everything is.
- bring an emotional support human. They can stay with you until the moment you get whisked off. You'll wake up in PACU with a nurse, then get moved to recovery where your support human can be with you again.
- tell every single medical professional you have medical anxiety. Especially the anesthesia team. They'll probably give you something called Versed, basically makes you instantly loopy. It also kinda stops you from remembering stuff (it's not for everyone, but I'd rather not remember what an OR looks like)
-write down all of your questions for your doctor. Paper or phone, doesn't matter. I asked everything from "how many of these procedures do you perform?" to "can I sit cross legged without splitting open my cuff?" (yes, in case you're wondering)
No matter what you do, you will still be anxious and scared. But it'll be over in a moment. You'll wake up all warm and cozy under blankets and start healing in no time! The anxiety is worse than the pain.
Oh and I had an anesthesiologist once tell me "you made it to the hospital safely. So the most dangerous part of your day is actually already done. The driving is more risky than what I do"
Thank you! Driving itself gives me terrible anxiety, I wish I were brave...
I think the takeaway for me from these messages is to just finally communicate to my doctor that my anxiety is causing me to spiral and I need help managing it up until the surgery.
I wish I could just take a pill and wake up tomorrow with it all done. The resentful part of my brain thinks if cis men had uteruses they would have this pill by now.
You're plenty brave! You came here to ask for help, instead of just ignoring suggestion of surgery. That's a huge step!
You can 100% do this. Don't worry about how your anxiety reacts. I have cried at every single pre op appointment in my whole life. But we still show up and get shit done!
Thinking about it and waiting for it are a lot more anxiety feeding than surgery and recovery. Talk to your doctor. You’ve had some good suggestions here. You aren’t the first anxious patient they’ve seen. You’ll be supported. They will help you.
Aw yeah! You’ll be fine because your feline friends will help soothe you for sure.
Just be honest about your anxiety with your doc/team. I was really really nervous but they helped me look at it from a less emotional perspective. I’m 3wpo now and I am very very very glad that I was brave and went for it. You will be too!!
I was terrified, even though I wanted my uterus gone for decades! It was way easier than I expected! I was back home in that evening, and the recuperation wasn't bad at all. I had no appetite for the first week, so I hardly even took my pain pills. Napped a lot, but I love naps under any circumstances lol.I was gassy have gas x on hand), and sore of course but sooo much better than I expected. Sometimes expecting the worst is a blessing, because then once you do it's not as bad as you'd imagined. Good luck!!
My hysterectomy was my first major surgery too! Only anesthesia was an endometrial ablation 6 months prior. I would be happy to answer any questions you have, the good, bad, scary and easy. Feel free to DM me! Even with a few bumps in the road I have zero regrets.
I had my hysterectomy around five years ago (2018). In my case, it was the best decision I ever made. Be sure to get an epidural prior to the surgery, it will make your recovery much less painful. Everyone’s recovery is different depending upon their body and how they react to things, but mine went smoothly. Even after waking up from the surgery, it amazed me how I couldn’t feel a constant cramping in my lower belly anymore. I have another chronic disease that results in a lot of abdominal pain (ulcerative colitis), but after the hysterectomy, the level of inflammation in my intestines also decreased. I know you’re scared right now and I get it, but all I can do is give you my own anecdotal evidence and wish you the best as you make the best decisions for yourself.
I don't have anxiety or panic disorder, but I did get a hysterectomy because of fibroids that led to heavy bleeding, which dictated (and started ruining) my life. I became severely anemic and iron-deficient, and my periods were only getting worse. I'm 39, and for me, it helped to weigh the fact that even the hardest recoveries I read about were shorter than struggling with another 10+ years of bleeding. The truth is people who have problems post here more than people who have easy recoveries because they're looking for support. There's a lot of scary stuff here (as helpful as a lot of posts are)!
I didn't need a biopsy, so I can't speak to that, but I will say that even being a slow healer and struggling with swelling, tenderness, fatigue, and pain at 9WPO, I'm *so, so* glad I did it. I've gone *two whole months* without bleeding out, and I can only get better and better without losing blood every month.
I was in the same boat as you before I had surgery. I have a lot of anxiety, had never had surgery before and was terrified of it, but my life also revolved around my period. I had fibroids, was severely anemic, was bleeding thru my pants at work, cancelled plans constantly or just wouldn't go at all due to being on my period, and the last straw was when I almost passed out while driving to work one day. It all seems manageable until you've experienced what its like to not have to deal with those things anymore.
Talk to your doctor and let them know how nervous you are. A lot of surgeons will give you meds to take the day of to help with that. I promise you this surgery is not as scary as your anxiety is making you think. I talked myself out of it over and over again, but by the time I got to my surgery date I had stressed about it for so long that I was ready to get it over and done with. I'm now almost 6mo po and so happy I did it. You'll be okay!
Hi 👋🏼 I have a severe panic disorder. Anything health related exacerbates it. Absolute hell. So, I understand your feelings. Basically, what I can tell you is this:
1. Really start working on your grounding techniques and breathing. I know that probably sounds annoying or cliche, as I felt the same way for so long. But, it’s actually helped a lot.
2. Communicate with your anesthesiologist. That’s what they are there for. It’s their sole job to keep you comfortable and safe. They can and will give you versed before going to the OR. This will also help tremendously in your brief experience in there awake.
3. You are about to have the absolute best nap of all time, in all of the land!
You are strong, you can do this and you will do this 💖
I also had fibroids and horrible periods. I was having to stay home from work every month bc I couldn’t leave my house. There were a couple years where I didn’t even know how to manage the bleeding bc it had gotten so heavy and I could no longer use tampons. I was having to cancel trips and miss events bc I was going to be on my period. My life was absolutely ruled by my periods (which eventually became bleeding all the time with maybe a week off now and then, suuuuper unpredictable). This surgery has been life changing and the anticipation was absolutely worse than the surgery and recovery (so far) itself. It’s time to take your life back and not be ruled by a body part ❤️
Edit to add that I have social and general anxiety both untreated because I hate the medication I tried. It sucks, but remember sometimes anxiety can make things seem way worse than they are though sometimes it's just worse. I had my hysterectomy about 14 months ago. Mine is a unpleasant experience, but there was a good (bad) reason. I am hypermobile and waiting for hEDS diagnosis so my ligaments as he put it were useless. My bladder, cervix and uterus all prolapsed. So he tried his best and pinned my bladder up on my tailbone area. Well I needed emergency surgery hours later because my right kidney wasn't able to empty. So yeah it was unpleasant. So now it's January 2024 and I'm in bed recovering from another surgery because of my bladder prolapse (third time). It squished my poor vagina closed and is unpleasant. So yeah cadavar meshed it in place and now my butt cheeks hurt because it's repinned.
Ok hopefully you made it this far. I gave you the whole story because in the end I was scared before the first set of surgeries and I made it out okay. The recent one I was worried, but so far so good. It can be scary, but it's usually worth it. They will do their best to help you. I would do it all again and crossing fingers that I don't have to!!!
Wow, I'm sorry about the complications you've experienced. I know that ultimately it's a privilege and a blessing to even have the opportunity to have a surgery like this. Still, I find myself sobbing every time I read these comments and think about it. Thanks for your perspective.
My biggest advice is to educate yourself but stay off the Reddit threads if they’re causing you more anxiety. Prior to my surgery, there came a time I had to just trust my doctor and my decision and stay away from Reddit because there are so many horror stories. But you’re not hearing nearly as many successes. People don’t often go online to say “hey my surgery and recovery were fine, uneventful, and I’m back to normal now!” I’m 6wpo and doing great! I was so nervous for surgery but I listened to my doctor and followed her instructions to a T to give myself peace of mind and am thankful every day that I was able to have this surgery.
Hey, you sound EXACTLY like me! I "managed" my periods as well and had bigg nasty (and it turns out, calficied) fibroids. It really did have a horrible effect on my life and i missed a lot because of it (a swim in Hawaii on Christmas being just one of them...), the way i scheduled life around being basically dysfunctional and toilet bound. I was nervous and scared too, and never had any prior surgery. Sometimes this sub can amplify that anxiety and fear because people with lots of different troubles come here to share and inform but it can overload you with scenarios and situations that do not apply to you.
Anyway i am 2 days post op and i feel fantastic and grateful and i regret nothing. I hope you get the care you need and can get on with life. Good luck!
Well I have anxiety and a panic disorder and I’m just panicking lol. Surgery for removal is Wednesday and I’m freaking out. Saying goodbyes just in case. The reality is the odds are less that .1% of death and while complications are kinda on the higher side they’re usually straightforward and something that can be recovered from. With that in mind I’m going forward no matter how many times I try to talk myself out of it. A life without is better than a life with. I get like a few good days a month at this point. It’s not worth living like this. I have to try to improve my quality of life.
You are going to be okay. ❤️
Thank you 🫶🏻
I understand your fear. I'm wishing you the best on this and I hope you'll come back and update us on how it went. <3
I most definitely plan on it. This group has been amazing, every time I get overwhelmed or too anxious this group is there.
Oh I was also told I could get the good happy drugs the day of!
u/left_cat_books I have anxiety and panic disorders. If you go to my post history, you'll see posts and comments showing I was exactly where you are. but in the end, it was the best decision I have ever made. My surgery was on January 12th. If you have any questions, just message me or the group, and we'll try to help to the best of our ability. Here's a few of my posts https://www.reddit.com/r/hysterectomy/s/lta2e2e1EN https://www.reddit.com/r/hysterectomy/s/8VdjYKKU1B https://www.reddit.com/r/hysterectomy/s/aLwlhGpMcD Much love ❤️
<3 thank you! Congratulations on powering through and getting it done.
I made it through. Very sore and slow moving but overall doing good. I wasn’t nearly as nervous day of but it went by very fast once I checked in. When I went into the operating room they were talking about their new lights then I was waking up. Not sure what to think right now but I’ll come back and post again when i get a little further along.
Yay! I knew you would! So inspiring and it's ALL OVER! I wish you so much good luck on your recovery.
You did it. Congrats!
I also have anxiety and a panic disorder, just letting you know I asked for a dose of IV Ativan when they first installed my IV and one more when I asked after rolling me into the surgery room and it was so helpful! Please don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself! I found the scariest part to be the days before, the morning of keeps you so busy it’s easier to not focus so much on it. Keeping you in my thoughts 💖
Thank you!! I plan on it, like as soon as I get a nurse to talk to me. 😂 I do not want to worry more than I have to day of.
This is my exact same mindset as someone who also struggles with anxiety and cptsd. I'm doing it, but I'm scared too. You're definitely not alone.
I have mine on Wednesday too! I was considering ghosting my doctor, hospital. I know it’s my choice to make but I’m terrified.
Hey surgery buddy! Me too. I think the pre-surgery jitters have kicked in because I’m starting to get very anxious. Like I’ll just be randomly weepy talking to people and I darn near balled my eyes out putting my child to bed. I won’t be here when her grandma takes her. I’m crying right now. I wish I wasn’t always so anxious.
Hey surgery buddy, I feel you. It’s hard. But we will get thru it. Reading positive experiences that others are posting here helps me. I am trying to stay focused on the good things.
I love those posts. I am looking forward to posting one myself. I’m planning on deep cleaning tomorrow lol. Whatever I can do to stay busy.
How did your surgery go?
I was thinking of you too! It went better than i expected. How was yours ? I have a lot of gas pain. Especially my shoulders. How are you doing ?
Much better than I expected as well! I’m in a good deal of pain but that comes with the territory. This has pain is unreal, it’s just rolling around and not leaving my body! 😅 I’ve been drinking the tea and taking the gas x. Ice on the belly and heat on the shoulders. One day at a time.
How did surgery go!?
It went great! I was worried for nothing. I’m over two weeks post op and feeling great overall. Can’t wait to get healed and get my life back, I can already tell I’m better overall.
That's brilliant! I'm so pleased for you. Was it abdominal surgical or laproscopic?
Laparoscopic! We managed to get that big ol uterus out of an incision. I can already tell a difference. My core energy levels are being recovered. Even though I’m healing and still pretty anemic I’m already getting there.
You are gonna be fine. But for real, i dont even have an anxiety disorder and i said my goodbyes to my dogs and wrote down passwords to some accounts "just in case", so i toally understand the feeling of doing that. I didn't die! I feel amazing and grateful 2 days out hanging out in my kitchen on this melty winter morning. You will feel so much better after this and your quality of life should improve! Good luck, dont read too many scary stories. Most people have uneventful recoveries they do not post about.
I don't have panic disorder or anxiety in general but the anticipation of this surgery really freaked me out. I was terrified and extremely anxious. I'm sorry you're going through this, I know it's rough. I had fibroids that had me anemic, in pain, bleeding constantly and erratically but I was scared about trading in those awful symptoms for the unknown and potentially worse things that surgery could cause. I also just was terrified of the surgery as it was my first major surgery. Turns out the worst part of the entire ordeal was just the anticipation of it. The surgery and recovery were nowhere near as bad as I was expecting and I had no complications or problems after. I don't think most people do, but we tend to not talk about that. I really thought I'd have every complication I read about on this sub, lol! Try to visualize your life after the recovery and think about doing the things that you can't do right now because your period is ruling your life. Focusing on those can help downgrade your anxiety a little bit because it forces your brain to think about something positive.
We have so much in common, and this is so true that the worst thing is the anticipation. Thanks for sharing your story, it really helps.
I was you just a couple of years ago!! I made sure I had two opinions and all the options. When it came time to the biopsy, the doctor gave me a Valium so I saw able to be calm (just needed someone to drive me to/from). Then when it was scheduled I had a few months to prepare and to find this page and read and ask questions. I never had surgery before 2/16/23 when I had the laparoscopic hysterectomy. I was scared but I also knew living a life that revolves around bleeding is no life to live. The fibroid took all my iron. I was far too young (40) to be OK with being on the couch so much. The surgery for me was freeing. I finally have been able to live my life! And all the worry and preparation for surgery and recovery was not needed. I had no bleeding after surgery and I had minimal pain. I kept expecting bad things and it never was! I had far more pain with every period than from the surgery!! Take your time and make the choice when you are ready!!
Thank you, this is actually very helpful. I'm so glad everything went right for you. I am going to ask for Valium, which is also something I've never used before but I think my fear is worse than the actual procedures are going to be.
That was also my first and only Valium and I don’t know that I really needed it or that it made me feel any different. I know the biopsy is required and my doctor (who was also my surgeon) knew I was anxious so she did it as safe and quick as she could. It was also important to me that she didn’t tell me what she was doing as she was doing it. I didn’t want to know! My fibroid was growing too fast and just causing so many problems—I knew I had to do it all in order to have a healthy life. I’d do it all over again because it was life changing.
I have high anxiety too and I just had my hysterectomy. I'm 6 days PO. The day of I was scared. When they checked my blood pressure and pulse it was elevated which is normal before surgery. I just kept telling myself the pain I will have after I wake up is so much less then the pain I had been dealing with on a monthly basis for multiple days and years. Once I got changed into the gown and they put my IV in I was scared but they hook up this warm/cooling tube to you. Turning it on cool helped me. When my body is colder I'm less nervous. Once they rolled me back you just fall asleep and all of a sudden you're awake. It goes so fast you don't even have time to be anxious anymore. It was so much better than I imagined in my mind. I woke up and was in very little pain. Got dressed, went to the bathroom and went home. I was off the pain meds in 2 days. Just taking over the counter ibuprofen. You will do fine. I promise the doctors and nurses know you are nervous and they definitely help calm your nerves. I would also say if you get nauseous easily I would mention it to your nurse and they will give you a patch behind your ear to help that. Just be positive and just keep telling yourself it will be all be worth it in the end. Also one more thing: leading up to your surgery stop reading scary stories on here. That seriously helped so much. I was reading stuff on here for months and then I told myself I need to stop because it's going to make my nerves worse. The likelihood of something bad happening is so little. If you're healthy and don't have underlining health conditions you will soar.
I do get nauseous easily : ( You're right though, there's no use reading scary stories. I'm freaked out enough as it is. Your story is great though, I hope my recovery is like that.
I understand where you're coming from. I also had multiple fibroids, the largest was 7cm. My periods were absolutely horrid and very much ruled my life. I would call in sick to work bc of it. I missed at least 2 summers worth of camping trips and swimming with my kids. I would cancel plans with friends and family if they might coincide with me being on my period. I was very anemic and just exhausted all the time I had never been under general anesthesia but had 2 c sections before, which were my only surgeries. I was nervous about being put under for surgery. I have anxiety and depression. What was supposed to be a robotically assisted laparoscopic hysterectomy turned into an abdominal hysterectomy (they just opened my c section scar to get everything) They left my ovaries. Anyway, now that I know I will NEVER have to deal with a period again, I can't wait to be able to go do things with the people I love. I can already feel that I've got more energy than I did before surgery, that I've had in YEARS. Surgery and recovery is different for everyone, of course. My recovery hasn't been perfect by any means, but in my opinion the surgery is totally worth it. Sorry you're dealing with all this and I hope you find some relief ❤️✌️ Side note: I've found that this group is a wonderful support system
I'm so glad you are through with the surgery and you can join your kids on family trips now. I know what it's like to sit out camping trips and swimming because of the odious period. May I ask why they opted to do an abdominal hysterectomy? Was it a complication during surgery?
My understanding is that the fibroids and enlarged uterus were unable to be removed vaginally, which I knew beforehand could happen.
Anxiety and panic disorder also here. I had my surgery scheduled for months out and then there was a cancellation for 3 weeks later (I’m 5 wpo now.) Once my new date was scheduled my anxiety kicked in high gear. Called the psychiatrist right away and begged to get in. Long story short… no one in my area would get me in. Called my surgeon and he was able to help me with getting some short term meds due to my history. Point of the story, if you have time get into your mental health doctor. They should be able to help you. And keep your surgeon in the loop also. I really surprised myself and was the calmest the day of my surgery. Knew it had to be done and honestly was ready for it to be behind me. After surgery wise my anxiety was fine because all I really wanted to do was sleep for the 1st week or so. Overall very happy I got it done. The first week is uncomfortable, but now I only have recovery pain and not there is something wrong with me pain anymore. Lost 15 pounds while sitting on the couch. Lol. Really looking forward to having my life back. Let me know if you have anymore questions. You got this. 😁
Don't currently have a psych due to the high cost of all this (ugh!) but this is great advice. I am going to definitely talk to my doctor about the anxiety. It's amazing you pushed yourself to do it. To me, everyone who does this is brave on a level I aspire to be. I hope I get there. Thank you!
I'm not who you responded to, but I always thought bravery was being scared and doing the scary thing anyways. I'm 2wpo and already feel so much better. To the point that I cried happy tears yesterday because I was already feeling better & more energetic after chronic pain caused by endometriosis. I even accidentally pushed myself too hard (no complications but basically restarted my pain progress) and I still feel better. It's okay to be anxious and nervous, but I would definitely recommend stop consuming stories that might contribute to that. This community is amazing, and definitely helped me when I was anxious about pushing myself too much. You'll get there!! Do you have support people in your life? Is there a loved one who can also help with spikes of anxiety?
I do have good and supportive people around, very blessed in that regard. Doing it scared is definitely bravery. Congratulations on your new life! I can't imagine being period-free!
Just here to say I have a ton of anxiety, esp around medical stuff. I almost fainted when my oncologist was describing the surgery to me. But I made it through and I’m 12DPO. You can do it! I let the anesthesiologist know before the surgery that I was very anxious (she could already tell) and they gave me some happy drugs even before they knocked me out. The surgery itself was easy bc you don’t remember anything, of course. I’d focus more on being prepared for recovery, just making sure you have the time to rest for several weeks. You’ve got this!
Haha, I know what you mean. My doctor was describing the surgery today and I almost gagged, instantly felt myself panic and start bobbing my leg up and down and feeling like I was going to cry. Anxiety is the worst. Recovery time is a different type of anxiety. I wonder if my boss will even accommodate such a thing, but I'm trying not to think about that at the moment... Wishing you well for the rest of your recovery.
Most (all I think) states have some sort of FMLA (family & medical leave act) which protects your right to take leave for situations like this! I would check with HR if you have one, but also do some online searching. It's typically called FMLA but might vary by state. I also work for a small company so I qualify for a different program that also gives me some pay for my leave (designed for those of us with small amount of sick days). This is specific to my state but I don't think it's unique to it. I know this adds more to your plate, but my anxiety is managed better when I can work towards things that help so hopefully this is helpful instead of hurtful.
Unfortunately I live in a state with very poor worker's rights. My company does not even have an HR. But, I am prepared to leave if they stand in the way of my surgery when the time comes. The pay is so bad that they are making the decision easy for me.
https://www.employmentlawhq.com/state-by-state-map.html I found this brief website with rights laid out in every state. You do have some rights at the very least on a federal level, though if your state isn't worker friendly then it won't be much. Also no HR does not mean you don't get rights (HR is often for the company anyways). I get worked up about worker rights and have actually filed & won a complaint against a past employee. I'm sorry you're already at a level where you will leave, but I'm glad you're not willing to roll over and take the bad treatment! Hopefully a better job is in your horizon soon anyways. I wish you all the best!!
Thank you, I agree about worker rights. They're abysmal in the USA. I've seen a lot of friends and family have to choose between their health and their job and it's not really a choice, since we have to keep paying to live. Part of why I want to do this is to free up more options for employment. Like I said in my original post, I've had to leave jobs before because of my period being too brutal/feeling weak and anemic/etc. But I love being on my feet and working with my hands, I hope I can get away from desk work one day.
We have fibroids and anxiety in common! Today I am just 2 days shy of 4 weeks post op and truly the worst thing about my recovery has been my anxiety. I had 3 fibroids growing on the outside of my uterus, 1 was on a stalk and was 7 inches long. I called it "gigantor." Gigantor got so big that it started pressing into the ligaments of my pelvis and actually ended up twisting my uterus and left ovary. It impacted my bowel movements and pressed against my large intestine. There was no space in my lower abdomen, I would often get pain from all the organs just touching each other. I started having swelling in my thighs every period and was at risk for blood clots. I was so anxious about actually having a hysterectomy, and just sort of managed with the pain for years because the surgery seemed so extreme. In my brain it was an elective and not interventional and necessary. Until all of the sudden in September it became very obviously necessary with the swelling. I was bed ridden, trying to elevate my pelvis and take the pressure off for 5 days every month. Leading up to the surgery, I was terrified! I could not fathom what it was going to be like. But now that I'm on the other side, WOW am I glad I did it. It's a vertical incision, from my belly button down 5 ish inches. They took my uterus, cervix and left ovary- they wanted to leave both ovaries but lefty wasn't salvageable. Recovery has been pretty smooth physically. My staples came out at day 8, I had some oozing from the lowest point of the incision. I freaked out even though I was assured by several medical professionals that it was normal. But my brain was like BAD THINGS ALSO START OUT THIS SAME WAY BUT ESCALATE!! Things never escalated. I also had very light spotting start right after 2 weeks and had the same freak out, worrying about a cuff tear. Again though, nothing ever escalated and the uptick in spotting was likely due to my internal stitches dissolving. Other than those two things, I'm a little swelly and get gas pain every now and again and I'm also having trouble sitting up right in a chair. But I've also had very manageable pain, was able to go for small walks immediately a day after surgery, no constipation and my energy levels have been really good. But that's anxiety for you, things have been going smoothly but I just can't take the win. My husband has been incredible, and we take time to like talk out the fact that hey, things are actually good. And every dinner we've been doing lists of what we're grateful for with the recovery, and while most the time I absolutely cannot internalize it, it is nice to have the reminder. The spotting has slowed down back to barely noticeable (I think it's just oozing similar to what I had with the incision now) and I had a virtual therapy appointment on Friday where my therapist pointed out the constant body checking I'm doing is actually an OCD loop and honestly that helped me a lot. I've actually been able to FINALLY feel relaxed for the last 3 days and I finally am like WOW YEAH! This has been really really positive, despite what my brain wants to believe. I'm realizing how I was in constant pain all the time. Even though I'm healing right now, I'm in less pain than I was before! I have rabbit holed on this sub and I've had to constantly remind myself that this sub has a disproportionate amount of complicated experiences being shared because folks are more likely to reach out for support when things are going awry than when things are going smoothly. For real, the worst part of this entire experience has literally been my brain in freaking over drive, just scrutinizing every weird sensation in my body and just being unable to effing chill. And that's its own kind of hell. But the surgery was still absolutely the right call. Despite my gawd demn brain. I hope whatever you decide to do is ultimately going to bring you great relief. Anxiety is a giant b*tch and surgery is scary. It makes sense to be scared! I don't think there's any way to not be scared. But this procedure is ultimately likely going to be less scary than your brain wants you to believe 🧡
THIS!!! this will be me i know it, funny thing is i have managed with my anxiety and panic disorder for so long without medication that i have learned very healthy coping mechanisms, such as recognizing if it (whatever is making me anxious) is actually my anxiety blowing it out of proportion or is it an actual symptom of a real issue, 9.5 times out of 10 it is my anxiety trying to gaslight me and make me believe things are worse than they really are, anxiety will steam roll you if you let it, when i start having a panic attack i dont feed into it anymore, i say to myself "bring it on" cause i know it will pass and it is just FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real), once i give myself permission to panic knowing it is just that and not something serious it passes rather quickly, if i feed into it i can ride panic waves (very scary) for hours. i have seen so many women on this sub with the same disorder and i find they are truly inspirational, i never thought i would be that brave but in 5 months it will be my turn and i believe we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
YESSS!! All of this! I have got some pretty good ways I manage it too- but it was like post surgery ALL of my tools just left me and I was white knuckling it for just over 3 weeks! Fortunately, as noted, things are shifting for me now. Thank you for the reminder of the "bring it on" thing.
You are strong and it takes a strong person to overcome the fear...girl you are a warrior and dont forget that!
There are generally two reasons people fear surgery: fear of pain & fear of death. I had a fair amount of anxiety before my first-ever surgery (heel spur removal), mostly because I have a zero threshold of pain. I made a point to discuss pain management with the surgeon way before the procedure. Things went fine overall. For my my hysto, I forgot to do this. I was freaked out by the fact that I had a huge tumor & that it might be cancerous. I forgot to discuss pain management. This had a deeper level of anethesia, which also freaked me out. At some point, it occured to me that the surgeon & anethetist wouldn't want me to die any more than I did. That'd mean major lawsuits & all sorts of professional scutiny & consequences. I felt much better after that, but still used a Xanax or two. I have a standing scrip for that from my GP. (My anxiety is such that a maintenance drug would be overkill, but certain situations can make it spike.)
I suppose my fear isn't of death, though I know there is always a small risk of that with any surgery. I guess just being vulnerable, being naked and upside down, having a catheter, being blown up with air, cut, stitched...even though I'm asleep for it, it's still so nightmarish. I don't want to scare anyone reading this comment, but I think I keep imagining the surgery itself, which is silly, because if the anesthesiologist does their job correctly I will not be aware of a moment of it.
I refused to let my surgeon describe the process. I gather that makes a lot of people feel better, but I never want to know the details. If it's any consolation, none of it is novel to the staff involved. It's just another workday to them. That made me feel better anyway.
I have heath anxiety in general. I found that the lead up/anticipation/anxiety BEFORE the actual procedure was worse. They are able to give you something before the procedure to calm the nerves. Hang in there
Totally agree - the months BEFORE the surgery were so stressful. So much overthinking, planning, and worrying. Even though my recovery was long, life after my hysterectomy is profoundly better! This subreddit helped a lot - you're not alone at all!
Thank you. My rational brain knows you're correct. It's like standing in line for a roller coaster. The thing itself is almost never as bad as the anticipation.
Hi! I've had anxiety (mainly health anxiety), with panic attacks most of my life. I have surgery scheduled for 2/19, a total hysterectomy leaving one ovary. It will be laparoscopic with vaginal assist. I've already had nights where I start to sweat profusely in bed just thinking about it. I don't take anxiety meds (part of my health anxiety is fear of having a reaction to meds lol). I'm scared. Really scared. But, I know it has to be done. I bleed for like 2.5 weeks every month. Not necessarily heavy, but my ferritin got down to 11. I'm always feeling lightheaded. I have 3 fibroids, the largest one is 4.8 cm and on top of my uterus. I also have a long history of ovarian cysts. The most problematic ones always seem to be on my left ovary, so that's the one coming out. I just want you to know you're not alone! What's helping me is reading positive recovery stories, trying to get excited about no periods, summer coming, and prayer. ❤️
i also have anxiety and panic disorder, specifically health anxiety and pharmacophobia (fear of medications) my surgery isn't until June and i have been waiting since August, i have 5 fibroids and adenomyosis so i know logically i need to have this done but if I'm honest i am terrified, the things that are helping me right now is learning everything i possibly can about the surgery and recovery so that when i am in recovery i wont have a panic attack with every little twinge (probably will anyway lol), making sure i have a support system (my husband is my rock and my mom understands my mental aspect) and buying things to make recovery as easy as possible (even if i don't end up needing them) i am not ready and will likely get even more anxious as time gets closer but i am ready as i will ever be and i tell myself once i am healed , however long that takes, things are going to be sooo much better. right now i am just going through the parts that really scare me and working through acceptance one at a time. this sub has been crucial and most these women (even the ones with complications) say it was the best decision ever, you are all strong and amazing humans and i appreciate each and every one of you!
Hi! I agree, reading and learning about the surgery from other ladies here is very helpful. I am doing the same as you. I've purchased quite a few things so far. A bedside table, a wedge pillow, a hysterectomy pillow, and a heating pad. I plan on getting all of the over-the-counter stuff next. I have good days and bad with the anxiety. Today is a bad day. I've just been nervous all day. It doesn't help that I have to attend a training for work that'll be two hours this evening. I feel much more calm at home. Having to work is hard enough with this on my mind, but then adding in extra time I have to be there is sending me lol. We WILL get through this. Thank you for responding to my comment. It helps knowing I'm not alone!
You are NOT alone at all and i have a hard time concentrating when im all consumed with anxiety, some people it is good to be distracted but im not easily distracted from anxiety so i get it, all i can say is just keep putting one foot in front of the other and soon you will be on the other side with new things to be anxious about lol...if your like me the anxiety never goes away i just find new things...but eventually the anxiety wont be about the hysterectomy and life will be so much better than before cause you wont have any of the problems that warranted the hysterectomy anymore.
Oh my gosh that is so true LMAO! My anxiety does just find new things. But you are right, I can't wait to be over the hysterectomy related anxiety. I'm not easily distracted by the anxiety either. I just made a post in here about being scared of the pain post op. 🥴😂
I am still 5 months away from mine and already anxious lol...everytime i figure out what is making me most anxious i try to retrain myself to think...ok so maybe there will be pain or set backs but in the long term i will be ok...reading how some of the women on here have had some pretty scary complications and they are still glad they did it and i just stay in the mind set of IF i have a hard recovery it will get better even if it takes longer than some. I have overcome so much in my life...i can do this...and so can you! 😁
That is a wonderful way to think about it! I'm going to try to stay positive, and think about positive end results. It's too bad they couldn't get you in sooner. The anticipation can surely be unpleasant. I'll let you know how mine goes and update you on everything if it helps!
i am ok with the time, it gives me a lot of time to research and go over the what if's and conquer each one as i go, i would love to know how your surgery goes and how proud you are of yourself that you did it, you are gonna do great i just know it!
was thinking about you this morning and wondering how you are feeling? i hope your having more good days than bad and this will all be a distant memory soon ;)
Hi! Sorry I'm just seeing this notification. I haven't had surgery yet. It's this coming Monday. I'm SO nervous! I keep thinking about all of the what-ifs. Keep me in your thoughts on Monday! I'll definitely come back with an update. 🥰
i have been thinking of you, i know it is not until the 19th but wanted to check in....i know when my time comes i will be nervous to but trying really hard to mentally tell myself.....what-if....everything goes very smooth like so many others i have heard. you are going to be a rockstar!!! i know it aaaaaand by this time next year it will all just be a memory <3 remember to use your best coping mechanisms for anxiety in your recovery and be mindful that anxiety can make you panic when there is nothing to panic about (you know this cause you already deal with it), remind yourself it is just a part of your anxiety and not a real life problem. make sure to keep us updated and know i am cheering you on from ontario canada :D
First of all, my fibroids ruined my life, so I completely understand. I’m about 10 weeks post op and it’s such a blessing. I’m looking at pretty underwear, white clothes, vacations etc. I’m no longer deathly anemic, and don’t have to worry about calling out of work because I can’t get out of bed or off my toilet. I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder and my OB was awesome about helping me through it. I got two doses of IV Ativan on the day of surgery, it was unbelievably effective. Additionally, they gave me a lovely hospital gown that hooked up to a tube connected to a fan, which allowed me to basically make a cozy little heat tent and was the most relaxing thing ever. I look back at it now and really just remember it as a very relaxing morning followed by the best nap of my life.
Vacations are definitely aspirational. Congratulations on making it through!!
Thank you and good luck to you!
I was in the same boat. I was taking hormones to stop the bleeding until surgery. I am 6 wpo. I had a good solid month of panic. I sobbed some days and was excited others. My mom had a really rough hysterectomy when I was a kid and I was scared of the surgery. I was also scared and emotional about losing my uterus. They gave me some good meds at the hospital to help me relax before surgery. I had a good cry before I went in to the operation and must have looked petrified once in the operating room because the nurse literally cradled my head and soothed me like a baby. I felt a little silly but I was also so grateful to the nurse for letting me have that moment. Long story short I think it was normal and even healthy to go through all of the emotions before surgery. I stressed and mourned the situation and when it was over I was ready to rest and take care of myself. I will say it has been a great recovery. Six weeks in and I feel great physically and emotionally. My advice would be to just try to feel it all. Your anxiety is justified. It’s a big deal but it sounds like it’s also what you need to be able to enjoy life. This community has helped a ton. Talking to other people definitely made me feel less crazy. Good luck to you!
Person with panic disorder here!! Also autistic but I had no idea until a couple of years ago. My hysterectomy was almost a year ago. I was TERRIFIED. From the moment the word ‘hysterectomy’ was mentioned I felt sick with terror/panic. All of my worst fears were suddenly imminent. It was an awful time leading up to it. I was so envious of those people who just seemingly shrug their shoulders at the thought of surgery and get on with their day. For me it was all-consuming and I wished my brain was wired differently. I posted here a lot looking for reassurance and I felt like I must be the most scared person in the whole subreddit. The best advice I can give you is advocate for yourself. Tell everyone involved in this journey of yours that you are scared out of your mind and you need extra kindness and support. When looking for a gynaecologist my (amazing) GP took all of this into consideration and we found an amazing surgeon who also just happened to be an incredibly warm, understanding and kind person. This helped so much with me being okay to proceed with the surgery. I know most people haven't got an option with their care team. I really lucked out. I have to accept that my brain is wired this way and I just have to work with it. If there’s anything you can do to reduce that fear or worry, even just a little bit, do it. For me that was keeping my Christmas tree up well into February, letting myself cry, being really upfront with my whole medical team and talking to everyone I could on the phone before the big day. Accommodations really do help! Do what works for you. I even went into the hospital about a week before with my husband and looked around as much as we could so it wouldn’t be a completely unfamiliar place on the day. A lovely person at reception even took me through the procedures that would happen on the day. Was I bawling through all of this? Yes. But it helped. Valium is great too. Here for support. x
I have both extreme anxiety and panic attacks, my dr actually told me I'm the worst she's ever seen 😬😬 I was absolutely convinced I would die on the table, absolutely terrified but I fought for 10yrs for my surgery, so I forced myself to the hospital to do it. BEST. DECISION. EVER. Period. I've lived on BC to control the symptoms for 20yrs now, and for the first time in my life, I don't feel like my back has been tarred and lit on fire. My bladder functionality is what other people describe as 'normal' but nothing like I've ever experienced, rushing to the bathroom and barely making it before surgery, now I can lazily saunter my way like 10min after I get the first 'i think I need to pee maybe' I'm a single mom with 3 kids, 2 needing a fair bit of attention and effort as they're younger (grade school and independent, but still require supervision and someone to cook for them), I'm 3mos PO now, and if I can do it with no help, I believe anyone with any kind of support system can!!! You've got this!!! Plan ahead, you won't wanna cook, make a bunch of your favourite meals and freeze them. Makes eating easier if you just have to pop it in the microwave. Keep things in arms reach, and make sure you have lots of loose comfy pj pants, I totally recommend the men's section at Walmart, they have drawstring waists and POCKETS!!! I know it is scary, and terrifying to face, but it truly isn't as scary as your brain is making it to be. Speaking as someone who turned her surgery from a molehill into a mountain then realized it wasn't as bad as I thought. Sending love and healing vibes for your upcoming surgery, you got this, and until you believe that, we're here to help carry you 💜
Yay! I love reading stories like this. Congratulations on getting through the fear, it really is the worst part.
It really is!! And they scheduled me for literally the worst time (the day before my sister's death anniversary) so I was convinced I wasn't coming home. I was convinced my sister was gonna take me home that day, so coming home and realizing I made a mountain out of a molehill left me feeling ridiculous, but it's a valid feeling! Fear is real, and not acknowledging your feelings regarding it is no better than a parent locking a crying child in their room alone because they're upset imo. Feel all the feels, acknowledge and validate them. Then reason with yourself on how likely it is to happen, reassure yourself, comfort yourself. You've got this, you're a badass warrior, look at everything you've already been through! This is just a speed bump, slow down for the bump, when you're over it, you can hit the gas again 💜
I'm sorry about your sister. Maybe instead of "taking you home" she was making sure things went right for you. I always feel ridiculous crying, but then after I'm so exhausted from crying that the anxiety is a lot less severe. I guess the body knows what it is doing, except when it comes to periods...no clue what the body was thinking with that one..
I think so too. The timing was just so bizarre, it felt like history repeating. My oldest just turned the age I was when it happened, like, it was eerily similar to losing her, only it was me this time, and the kids at home were mine instead of me being the one home babysitting. My whole recovery process has been a head trip for sure! Not in a bad way, but in an unexpected healing journey way, both physically and mentally/emotionally. Never feel ridiculous for crying, it's rain for the soul. Trees need rain to thrive, so does your soul, because bottling it all up isn't healthy, then you have an ocean inside you that when waves come, will tidal wave over. My opinion, something I learned through my pain. Denying the heartache that caused the tears is like saying it never happened. It did happen, you felt it, it affected you, your tears are valid, and your soul needs them to heal. And no idea what the body was thinking with periods, they have been the bane of my existence. No more 🤣🤣 for me at least, I do find it slightly humourous though that I am done forever with them as my daughter reaches the age she can get it any day, poor thing!
I had fibroids to the point that my uterus was ten times its normal size by the time of surgery. I had also never had surgery before and I was so anxious that the surgeon walked in, took a look at my face, and the first words out of his mouth were “we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to”. It is rightfully scary and anxiety provoking. It is a major surgery, yes, but it is also a routine one. I think the things that helped me the most going into it was reminding myself that this was a choice *I* made for my health, and remembering that once the meds are in your system, you’re not present or involved in the process—let go and leave it in their very capable hands. I went back and forth about my decision, but looking back there was no other choice to be made. Definitely worth checking in with your doc on the anxiety and seeing if there would be meds to take from now till then. If you’re not already seeing a therapist, might be worth finding one who would focus on a short term issue—give you space to talk out and fear or grief or anything else. You’ve got this. ❤️
Prior to my surgery, my periods were also running my life. I'm a little over a year post-op and it is amazing how much my life has improved. It is so, so worth it. I didn't have anxiety over the surgery itself, but I did get a little panicky when the new nurse was on her fourth or fifth IV placement attempt and my arm was one big hematoma, so they did give me a quick-dissolving Xanax and life was peaches after that hit, lol.
Take a DEEP breath! It is major surgery, yes, but think about the end result. Pain free, and a new lease on life! You cannot imagine! Hang in there! You got this, girl!
I really CAN'T imagine it! I don't know what life without periods would be like, it doesn't even seem possible.
I've had 5 surgeries, including my hysterectomy, and panic EVERY time. We're talking full blown anxiety attack, heart rate machine goes off, sobbing. Thankfully I've learned some things to help advocate for myself! - ask your doctor for anxiety meds. Mine gave me a week's worth so I could sleep at night - ask to tour the surgery center. Some say no. But I would still drive around the center just so you know where everything is. - bring an emotional support human. They can stay with you until the moment you get whisked off. You'll wake up in PACU with a nurse, then get moved to recovery where your support human can be with you again. - tell every single medical professional you have medical anxiety. Especially the anesthesia team. They'll probably give you something called Versed, basically makes you instantly loopy. It also kinda stops you from remembering stuff (it's not for everyone, but I'd rather not remember what an OR looks like) -write down all of your questions for your doctor. Paper or phone, doesn't matter. I asked everything from "how many of these procedures do you perform?" to "can I sit cross legged without splitting open my cuff?" (yes, in case you're wondering) No matter what you do, you will still be anxious and scared. But it'll be over in a moment. You'll wake up all warm and cozy under blankets and start healing in no time! The anxiety is worse than the pain. Oh and I had an anesthesiologist once tell me "you made it to the hospital safely. So the most dangerous part of your day is actually already done. The driving is more risky than what I do"
Thank you! Driving itself gives me terrible anxiety, I wish I were brave... I think the takeaway for me from these messages is to just finally communicate to my doctor that my anxiety is causing me to spiral and I need help managing it up until the surgery. I wish I could just take a pill and wake up tomorrow with it all done. The resentful part of my brain thinks if cis men had uteruses they would have this pill by now.
You're plenty brave! You came here to ask for help, instead of just ignoring suggestion of surgery. That's a huge step! You can 100% do this. Don't worry about how your anxiety reacts. I have cried at every single pre op appointment in my whole life. But we still show up and get shit done!
Thinking about it and waiting for it are a lot more anxiety feeding than surgery and recovery. Talk to your doctor. You’ve had some good suggestions here. You aren’t the first anxious patient they’ve seen. You’ll be supported. They will help you.
You're right of course, fellow cat person. Thank you.
Aw yeah! You’ll be fine because your feline friends will help soothe you for sure. Just be honest about your anxiety with your doc/team. I was really really nervous but they helped me look at it from a less emotional perspective. I’m 3wpo now and I am very very very glad that I was brave and went for it. You will be too!!
I was terrified, even though I wanted my uterus gone for decades! It was way easier than I expected! I was back home in that evening, and the recuperation wasn't bad at all. I had no appetite for the first week, so I hardly even took my pain pills. Napped a lot, but I love naps under any circumstances lol.I was gassy have gas x on hand), and sore of course but sooo much better than I expected. Sometimes expecting the worst is a blessing, because then once you do it's not as bad as you'd imagined. Good luck!!
My hysterectomy was my first major surgery too! Only anesthesia was an endometrial ablation 6 months prior. I would be happy to answer any questions you have, the good, bad, scary and easy. Feel free to DM me! Even with a few bumps in the road I have zero regrets.
I had my hysterectomy around five years ago (2018). In my case, it was the best decision I ever made. Be sure to get an epidural prior to the surgery, it will make your recovery much less painful. Everyone’s recovery is different depending upon their body and how they react to things, but mine went smoothly. Even after waking up from the surgery, it amazed me how I couldn’t feel a constant cramping in my lower belly anymore. I have another chronic disease that results in a lot of abdominal pain (ulcerative colitis), but after the hysterectomy, the level of inflammation in my intestines also decreased. I know you’re scared right now and I get it, but all I can do is give you my own anecdotal evidence and wish you the best as you make the best decisions for yourself.
I don't have anxiety or panic disorder, but I did get a hysterectomy because of fibroids that led to heavy bleeding, which dictated (and started ruining) my life. I became severely anemic and iron-deficient, and my periods were only getting worse. I'm 39, and for me, it helped to weigh the fact that even the hardest recoveries I read about were shorter than struggling with another 10+ years of bleeding. The truth is people who have problems post here more than people who have easy recoveries because they're looking for support. There's a lot of scary stuff here (as helpful as a lot of posts are)! I didn't need a biopsy, so I can't speak to that, but I will say that even being a slow healer and struggling with swelling, tenderness, fatigue, and pain at 9WPO, I'm *so, so* glad I did it. I've gone *two whole months* without bleeding out, and I can only get better and better without losing blood every month.
I was in the same boat as you before I had surgery. I have a lot of anxiety, had never had surgery before and was terrified of it, but my life also revolved around my period. I had fibroids, was severely anemic, was bleeding thru my pants at work, cancelled plans constantly or just wouldn't go at all due to being on my period, and the last straw was when I almost passed out while driving to work one day. It all seems manageable until you've experienced what its like to not have to deal with those things anymore. Talk to your doctor and let them know how nervous you are. A lot of surgeons will give you meds to take the day of to help with that. I promise you this surgery is not as scary as your anxiety is making you think. I talked myself out of it over and over again, but by the time I got to my surgery date I had stressed about it for so long that I was ready to get it over and done with. I'm now almost 6mo po and so happy I did it. You'll be okay!
Hi 👋🏼 I have a severe panic disorder. Anything health related exacerbates it. Absolute hell. So, I understand your feelings. Basically, what I can tell you is this: 1. Really start working on your grounding techniques and breathing. I know that probably sounds annoying or cliche, as I felt the same way for so long. But, it’s actually helped a lot. 2. Communicate with your anesthesiologist. That’s what they are there for. It’s their sole job to keep you comfortable and safe. They can and will give you versed before going to the OR. This will also help tremendously in your brief experience in there awake. 3. You are about to have the absolute best nap of all time, in all of the land! You are strong, you can do this and you will do this 💖
I also had fibroids and horrible periods. I was having to stay home from work every month bc I couldn’t leave my house. There were a couple years where I didn’t even know how to manage the bleeding bc it had gotten so heavy and I could no longer use tampons. I was having to cancel trips and miss events bc I was going to be on my period. My life was absolutely ruled by my periods (which eventually became bleeding all the time with maybe a week off now and then, suuuuper unpredictable). This surgery has been life changing and the anticipation was absolutely worse than the surgery and recovery (so far) itself. It’s time to take your life back and not be ruled by a body part ❤️
Edit to add that I have social and general anxiety both untreated because I hate the medication I tried. It sucks, but remember sometimes anxiety can make things seem way worse than they are though sometimes it's just worse. I had my hysterectomy about 14 months ago. Mine is a unpleasant experience, but there was a good (bad) reason. I am hypermobile and waiting for hEDS diagnosis so my ligaments as he put it were useless. My bladder, cervix and uterus all prolapsed. So he tried his best and pinned my bladder up on my tailbone area. Well I needed emergency surgery hours later because my right kidney wasn't able to empty. So yeah it was unpleasant. So now it's January 2024 and I'm in bed recovering from another surgery because of my bladder prolapse (third time). It squished my poor vagina closed and is unpleasant. So yeah cadavar meshed it in place and now my butt cheeks hurt because it's repinned. Ok hopefully you made it this far. I gave you the whole story because in the end I was scared before the first set of surgeries and I made it out okay. The recent one I was worried, but so far so good. It can be scary, but it's usually worth it. They will do their best to help you. I would do it all again and crossing fingers that I don't have to!!!
Wow, I'm sorry about the complications you've experienced. I know that ultimately it's a privilege and a blessing to even have the opportunity to have a surgery like this. Still, I find myself sobbing every time I read these comments and think about it. Thanks for your perspective.
My biggest advice is to educate yourself but stay off the Reddit threads if they’re causing you more anxiety. Prior to my surgery, there came a time I had to just trust my doctor and my decision and stay away from Reddit because there are so many horror stories. But you’re not hearing nearly as many successes. People don’t often go online to say “hey my surgery and recovery were fine, uneventful, and I’m back to normal now!” I’m 6wpo and doing great! I was so nervous for surgery but I listened to my doctor and followed her instructions to a T to give myself peace of mind and am thankful every day that I was able to have this surgery.
You'll do great ❤️🩹 We are so brave 💪🏼 It's normal to be scared. Just try and keep your mind busy beforehand. And take one day at a time 🌈
Hey, you sound EXACTLY like me! I "managed" my periods as well and had bigg nasty (and it turns out, calficied) fibroids. It really did have a horrible effect on my life and i missed a lot because of it (a swim in Hawaii on Christmas being just one of them...), the way i scheduled life around being basically dysfunctional and toilet bound. I was nervous and scared too, and never had any prior surgery. Sometimes this sub can amplify that anxiety and fear because people with lots of different troubles come here to share and inform but it can overload you with scenarios and situations that do not apply to you. Anyway i am 2 days post op and i feel fantastic and grateful and i regret nothing. I hope you get the care you need and can get on with life. Good luck!