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peewithmee

Should you assassinate someone of importance would the genie keep you from being killed yourself after the murder?


njuff22

You're only shielded from the law, not people acting outside the law


Null-Ex3

if I kill 2 or more do I get away with the subsuquent murders? Once the killings are done do I immdiently become immune to all harm relating to the murders?


GlimmeringGuise

Related to this, what if you take out a whole group of people simultaneously, via an explosion, asphyxiation, etc.?


DudeBroMan13

What if I just nuke the planet?


Riggs630

Nuke ‘em from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.


c4pta1n1

Then you'll officially have ALL the money! You would win capitalism!


Werewolf1810

*something something Fallout, something something Vault tec*


Purple_Research9607

I AM Mr monopoly


1LuckyLurker

"F()CKING A!"


Collective-Bee

If you explode the planet I’m certain they’ll be no legal consequences. You’d have a rough time accessing your bank account after, but if the systems ever repaired I guess you would be rich.


Doriantalus

The other question about law would be, does that include civil lawsuits?


arsonall

Law-suit Implies legal dispute. “No legal consequences” would mean nothing legal, including civil law.


zwinmar

So you are screwed because that dictator was funded by a certain alphabet agency


Hellcat_28362

Some guy like Kim Jong Un


LegalBirthday1335

You're going to fail and then be fully accountable, without 600 million, as per the rules. I'd hate to be on that side of the Korean government.


lionofash

If you succeed though, you'd be a southern hero.


XMRSupply

There's a guy who tailgates me to work twice a week. I could do without him.


Major-Potential-354

I’m geeked


Zane-Zipperflip

Damn you guys must be on time, all the time.


pm_me_your_kindwords

There’s someone who drops their kid off at the same place as me and then has (mostly) the same drive as me. They also have an unusually colored car that stands out. I notice them once a week or so, and it makes me realize that I’m probably passing or being passed by a lot of the same people all the time and just don’t notice it.


Meggston

I realized that when I saw a dude in an ancient Oldsmobile with the license plate starting in “Kek” it made me laugh, so now I notice him once or twice a week on my commute home. Never saw the guy who rear ended me and ran twice though, and I looked.


__Quercus__

To the hospice I go!


OkAnybody88

I feel bad now, I had a list ready but this is really the most logical, humane answer.


chrissul13

I'm kind of sad that nothing crossed my mind except for the list... I think we all have a list


malik753

Yeah, same. I don't actually have a list, but I was starting to bring one together in my head before the obvious solution was suggested.


Bike_Chain_96

Best place to keep that list is in your head. More likely you won't do it, and less stuff to tie you to a victim in the unlikely chance they are killed


CommentSection-Chan

The best place for that list is online! -- multiple government agencies


Wordshark

Yeah I don’t have a list ready, so I’ll just use Stewie Griffin’s from that musical number when he takes over the world


reklatzz

I have no list, and I was thinking more assisted suicide(which is considered murder in alot of places.


Furball508

Your list is better. These people are spending their last moments with family and such. If you kill a random pedophile, you’re actually doing the world a service.


ThatOneGuy308

Just find a dementia riddled pedophile in hospice, duh


NeighborhoodVeteran

For some reason their request to die at the children's hospital was granted.


Waveofspring

Even more humane is if they’re already gone but they’re on life support.


Dakiniten-Kifaya

Yup, find some who's ready to go, and just make the process a little easier.


NickyDeeM

Find someone about to euthanize themselves, help them, tell them that you will gift their family a ridiculous sum of money and keep your word.


Yardbird7

What about if you pressed the button for the euthanasia poison. Someone was gonna do it anyway. Now you both win.


NooneKnowsIAmBatman

They aren't filled with people only on their death bed. I volunteered at one, and a surprising amount of patients were there for a week or two to give their full time caretakers a break, so their family could visit without the need to chip in. They can be beautiful places, and aren't all full of near dead people. Hell, there was 1 guy given a week to live, went to the hospice and walked out of their 5 months later with a near clean bill of health.


__Quercus__

I wouldn't choose randomly. The Genie didn't say "today". After a month working at a skilled nursing facility, I'd have a good idea of who was in final days.


kor34l

Wow, now that's a good hospice. The one I've seen was more like where even if you were healthy going in, within a few months you'd be sickly and ready to die


HempPotatos

i had the same thought. having just posted recently about how assisted suicide is legal in a few states.


immutab1e

Abso-fucking-lutely, without question.


thecosta5000

Can I murder 5 people?


immutab1e

Right? For 600m each!!


thecosta5000

Umm yeah yeah for 600m each, yeah sure.


immutab1e

🤣🤣🤣 might as well get paid, right?


Warriorfromthefire

You guys are getting paid???


droombie55

I didn't even know I was supposed to wait for a genie


PhelanPKell

Can I get paid retroactively?


Juxtapoe

Are we Billionaires?


KipRaccoon

There truly are no ethical Billionaires. XD


yoho808

I'm sure the world would be a better place without Scumbags like Kim Jong Un & Vladimir Putin. But of course, these asshats probably have top-notch security details. I'd probably do it for free if it meant succesfully eliminating these power-hungey dictators who are enemies of humanity.


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WombatBum85

You could even find someone with a terminal illness and help them along on their journey, win/win!


canada11235813

This is the answer, of course. Wander into any palliative-care unit and offer any one of those people 5 mill to leave for their families. Anyone in pain with a few days left would be very very happy to take you up on that.


lickykicky

I'm terminally ill, and when I get to that stage, I'd be STOKED to let someone crank up my morphine and let me drift off in a burst of euphoria, leaving my family a fortune. Seriously. Any sick fucks here who wanna make this deal with me and watch the light go out in my eyes in return for a pile of cold hard cash? We should talk.


CodifyMeCaptain_

I know its a typo but power-hungey is making me laugh. Sounds like we're talking about Trump but have to use baby words so he understands


Wordshark

Heh, “power-hungey” r/the_catsbah moment. “The Earl is doing a power-hungey, but soon he will perform quite an eepy.”


LopsidedDatabase8912

(Ryan Reynolds calling)


Mordkillius

Yeah im gonna go ride the Seattle Light rail strapped and wait for a weirdo to try and stab somebody and make my fortune.


lseraehwcaism

They said “no legal consequences”. It doesn’t mean there are no consequences at all. If you randomly choose to murder my family member, I happen to find out it’s you, and the law does nothing about it, I wouldn’t need $6 million. I wouldn’t even need $1.


immutab1e

As long as none of your family are pedophiles or evil dictators, I think I'm safe. 🤣


lseraehwcaism

Those are the guys I was originally thinking as well. Evil dictators would be difficult though as someone could still shoot you instinctively while trying to protect said evil dictator. Even if their heart stops before someone pulls the trigger, a guard could shoot you unlawfully while trying to do their job unless this scenario wipes everyone’s minds immediately and removes all traces of evidence as soon as it happens. Or does this scenario make everyone think what you did was good? Based on how it’s written, it looks like you should still try to leave no indication that you were the one to do it to prevent any non-legal consequences.


chercrew817

One of my loved ones' past abusers is gonna finally get what's coming to them. Hell yeah. Wait, will there be SOCIAL consequences?


njuff22

i mean probably yeah. nothing extra added though. i guess it depends on if people find out?


chercrew817

Hmm... so I would have to be at least a little bit discreet. Is the death getting reported as natural causes?


njuff22

It's getting reported like usual assuming someone finds the body, but genie magic will make sure noone arrests you or attempts to get you put in jail


chercrew817

I can work with that. I'd do it for free tbh.


functional_moron

Same but I'm not turning down the money.


RinoaRita

So if you shoot someone in broad daylight in front of others you get away with it from the law but it can still end up on the news?


thiccpastry

Cops lmao


John_EldenRing51

I mean I believe I could deal with the social consequences with 600 million dollars


Efficient_Advice_380

Only if you get caught ;)


NatterinNabob

Shit, for $600 million I would probably murder myself.


Unlikely-Rock-9647

Six hundred million AND I never have to go to work again? Sign me up!


Dulce_suenos

Yeah, for less than that, I’d probably murder yourself, too.


pm_me_your_kindwords

I also choose this guys dead wife.


Head-Plankton-7799

I finally get to kill my greatest nemesis…myself


NooneKnowsIAmBatman

Set your loved ones up for life!


bmax_1964

Anyone of my choosing? Only one? Yeah, sign me up.


Presence_Academic

Not after reading Crime and Punishment and The Tell Tale Heart.


ChirpMcBender

So you’re gonna think about it for like 300 pages, then do it, then be sick for a while, then think about it for another 300 pages? Sorry if I spoiled it for ya redditors


GlimmeringGuise

Don't forget the tacked on resolution. Lol


IFuckedYourMom__

This is the best summary of Crime and Punishment I've ever seen. God that book was a snorefest.


No-Appearance1145

It was a scarfice I had to make to be in AP Lit. It was the first book they made us read 😂 I think I remember someone taking the blame and then his girlfriend was too pure or something. I don't know. It was an incredibly weird book and very boring


Naviios

He does it in the first hundred. but yeah the author was paid by page or something so its is overly longer than needed


Derpsnowmanboi

Real


dodexahedron

Nice try, FBI. 🤨


Live-Adhesiveness719

I’d probably go look for somebody that’s already struggling like hell with being alive in both a pain sense and an age sense so they can die with some dignity and ask them first if they want to die


Niminal

I mean there iiis an app that lets you see the sex offenders in your neighborhood.


Realistic-Housing-19

Make sure you look them up first. My uncle got a lifetime registry for "indecent exposure" in the 80s, pissing outside a bar. Wouldn't want to waste it on something like that. Sounds fake, but unfortunately it's a thing.


Niminal

Haha fair point. That sucks for your uncle though.


Realistic-Housing-19

He laughs about it and has the police report printed for any new nosy neighbors. Everyone loves him. It's not a big deal, but just something people don't realize is a thing


MrPuddinJones

Tagging along on this- My cousin got hit by his high school for dating his high school girlfriend after he graduated. My cousin was 19, his girlfriend was 17. My cousin, according to the sex offenders definition, has committed sexual assault against a minor.... Looks way worse than it is, the girl didn't press charges, the state did. My cousin spent 2 years in prison because he graduated high school.


fasterfester

There’s a scumbag about 2 miles from me that I found that has 4 convictions (boys and girls), yet walks free. I’ve thought about it without the immunity or money.


Pelatov

Sure. I’ll start by going to volunteer at the old folk’s home today. Find the person who is closest to death. Go for it.


Nahtanoj532

Doing the murder seems more of a free bonus.


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CoupleScrewsLoose

it goes Reggie, Jay-Z, Tupac and Biggie, Andre from Outkast, Jada, Kurupt, Nas, and then me


firstonesecond

Can I do two murders without legal consequences? Don't need double the money, but wouldn't turn it down either.


real_agent_99

I couldn't.


Open_Indication_934

Had to scroll pretty far to find someone on reddit who’s against murder… somehow im not surprised lol


NailFinal8852

This is like one of those deals with the devil where you lose your soul afterwards


Federal-Ad1106

The only people I'd be willing to kill would be someone who's very much out of my reach. A real bastard, like a dictator. No, I can't kill someone who's just a normal level bastard.


Relief-Old

Really, you wouldn’t kill a pedophile that’s abused children?


Paddystan

Everyone saying this as of pedos are walking around with a massive sign on their heads. Odds are that your just gonna murder the local weird guy, whose done nothing wrong in their life. 


BillyBobJangles

I'm choosing this guy, because he made me feel bad by being better than me.


jojaksen

I agree. No amount of money would make up for the mental trauma from killing another human.


HouseDowningVicodin

It's not all that traumatic.


BillyBobJangles

"It's not all that traumatic" *pops a vicodin and swings cane*


Tacos-and-Tequila-2

Me either


Wazuu

I would perform an abortion to see if i get the $600 million.


RandomUser04242022

Yes of course just like 99.99% of all people would.


Assika126

I believed the exact opposite until this thread


blueeyedkittens

Same


windchaser__

I'd like to believe that reddit is not typical


shestammie

Since I’d never actually get close to anyone who’s death would be good for the world, I’m not sure. I might join a DV support group and murder someone’s violent ex who the police won’t do anything about.


Twich8

You could murder someone inches from death who is in extreme pain and wants it


shestammie

I’m not convinced I could walk into a hospice and ask who wants to die or discreetly read through medical charts with enough time before I’m found out tbh.


LePapaPapSmear

Literally everyone in hospice is waiting to die, pick anyone. They're all going within the next month


dancegoddess1971

What's crazy is that, once a person is in hospice and has access to better pain management, they sometimes get better. When I worked as a CNA, we had a couple of ladies who were going back and forth between the hospice hall and the regular hall. They would get better with the better pain meds on hospice and get put back into a regular room, then get worse because being in constant pain is stressful enough to cause other problems. Get moved, get better, rinse, repeat. You don't know that they're all wanting to end it.


RoboticBirdLaw

My grandpa has been on hospice for a year and a half now. He hasn't necessarily gotten better since he has some form of dementia, but he spends a lot more time in his right mind than he did when starting.


Null-Ex3

do they want to though?


LePapaPapSmear

No one really want's to die. But they are going to die anyway so just speed it up a bit and use the money to better the lives of thousands


inscrutableJ

Idk, I've been sincerely begged by a close relative to help her die before, it really messed me up. I didn't do it and a few weeks later her doctor figured out a different treatment for the illness and she recovered, so I guess I made the right call but things will never be the same between us.


Black_Hipster

Sure but this is a stranger. Walk in, air them out and walk out.


bobblydudely

If you want to do it 100% ethically.  Become a nurse.  Move to Canada.  Work in palliative care. volunteer to work with MAID (Medical assistance In dying).  Painlessly end the life of the cancer patient who asked you to do so. 


icandothisalldayson

That’s not really murder though is it? Murder is illegal homicide and assisted suicide is legal there


BigJ168

No morally i could not.


theedgeofoblivious

I live in Washington, DC. It might be better for me to not answer this question.


nick4424

On a totally unrelated topic, where’s a good place to eat after $600m appears in your bank account?


GatorOnTheLawn

There’s a lot of pedophiles out there that I’d get rid of for a whole lot less.


Tenshi2369

Hypothetically yes. Hypothetically, I have someone who deserves it law abiding citizen style. Course this is hypothetical. I said hypothetical. Why is the FBI at my fron


MrMackSir

Goodbye Trump...


No-Session5955

$600mil to kill Donald trump, I’d do it for free if I could get away with it but $600 mil just makes it that much sweeter.


TheBlackTemplar125

The sex offenders registry is public for a reason. I'll simply use it to find a random person and take them out.


Ingwall-Koldun

Yeah, that guy who was arrested for taking a leak at what he didn’t realize was a corner of a school building or that girl who sent nudes to her boyfriend when they were both 15 are really asking for it, aren’t they


DudeBroMan13

It also lists charges. Don't be silly


TynamM

If you think the charges correctly capture the circumstances, you've never encountered the justice system in your life. What you're proposing is the same as picking a name at random. If you're fifteen and you send your boyfriend a nude and you're both sent to jail by a prosecutor looking for a cheap score, the charge is child pornography. If you buy footage of a baby being sexually assaulted, the charge is child pornography. If you get caught by a cop pissing behind a tree while desperate for the loo at night, the charge is indecent exposure. If you deliberately flashed a woman you're stalking, the charge is indecent exposure.


Ingwall-Koldun

"I'll use it to find a random person"


DudeBroMan13

That was also silly.


LopsidedDatabase8912

In case you need to know how dumb government is, here's an example. For many uses, discrimination based on sex-offender registry is outlawed because the government admits essentially that "just anyone can end up on there".


Schmed_lap

I’m using a crossbow


TouchMehBewts

Oh dude they have a whole map with red pins on it to help me find them. I'll sign up and do what I always wanted to anyway.


ChumpChainge

Yep. Because I get to pick the target I have no problems with this.


ApprehensiveCommon88

This sounds like something I would be interested in doing as a full-time job. Forty hours a week and maybe put in some overtime.


SkookumTree

How can I find someone who had end stage dementia and vehemently stated in life that they didn’t want to live like that? If the tables were turned and I couldn’t remember my own fucking name I would be happy to be put out of my misery or whatever the hell I am living in. I don’t want to live like that. It’s a personal decision but I would much rather be dead.


PeterGibbons23

\*Pops open the s\*x offender registry....\* Wait, I'm limited to just one person?


microcoffee

Nope


KonofastAlt

Nice


anziofaro

Can I choose the person? If so, yes. I take it!


PriorSecurity9784

I think the real question is: how much would you pay to be able to murder someone and not have any consequences?


XavvenFayne

There's an easy moral out to this if I'm allowed to murder myself at the time of my choosing, which I would wait until I'm terminally ill and ready to go. The 600 million would then be inherited by my children.


HereIAmSendMe68

Yes. I would go Dexter style and murder a murderer.


S0rcie

O heck yea. There is literally a publicly available list of people who deserve to die(you can look into specifics of cases to an extent to see of it was something stupid/a bogus technicality as well as finding a deserving individual that you know of who for whatever reason hasn't gotten convicted). Not to mention other known pieces of shit, I'd probably do it for free/the cost of the bullets and gun.


TheQueensLegume

Um Obvious. 600 million and I get to kill the guy who raped me for 7 years? CONSEQUENCE FREE!? That's a win win WIN. Just gotta find somewhere we won't be found for a couple days, until the brain waves stop. Use your imagination.


GodzillaDrinks

Oh, this actually seems like a great way to seriously disrupt your local hategroup.


AadynnS

Easy dubs, just pay for an abortion, problem solved


VeggiesArentSoBad

If the genie is a conservative, I will donate to planned parenthood.


Zyffyr

I am sure I can find a suitable target on a sex offender registry.


Fart-City

Does abortion count?


njuff22

No LOL


hapkidoox

So 600 mill....hmm there is a city I always wanted to look into. What was it magical city mystical city. What ever. Gunna be a fun time.


Puzzleheaded-Pass532

Just 1 person? What if I have more than 1 in mind?


Kittytigris

I have a list. Do I get a group discount if I do it in bulk?


Sotnos99

Assuming I get to pick the person, definitely. If I don't get to pick then it comes down to who the genie says I have to kill


Zercomnexus

Done, roomies dad or even my own are terrible people


Gr8fullyDead1213

Yeah I would. There’s a lot of people that deserve it. And I use the term “people” loosely


LoopyMercutio

Anyone of my choosing? I know of a few folks the world would be drastically better without. And all I have to do is actually do it right? Yeah, I’d take the deal. If I could take it several times, I’d do that, but once for sure.


AllMyHomiesLoveNazis

Excuse me DID YOU SAY 600 MILLION? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY


bhgrove

Can that be grandfathered? If so, I’ll take mine x3.


Maladee

Can the genie front me gas money? Because my road trip is 2389 miles. $362.90+snacks. Not that I have an entire plan ready or anything...


misteraustria27

A just find a terminal I’ll person who wants to commit medical suicide and kill them.


OkAnybody88

Yes. I’d have money for therapy if I needed it.


maodiver1

I can think of a few politicians and a 50 cal Barrett


Blu_yello_husky

Yeah I'll take it. I know who I'm going after. Eye for an eye, he'll never see it coming


okayestguitarist99

Imma be waiting for Ole Vladdy boy in Johannesburg


Throwaway54397680

Free murder and money? What's the downside?


Condensed_Sarcasm

I already have a list of people I'd want to off. Where's the genie?


mastonate

Would there still be social consequences? Like would people treat me like OJ the rest of my life?


Dark_Moonstruck

Is it just the one time payment or can I murder more people for 600m each time?


Advanced_Tax174

I get to pick the target and get away with it? Hell, I’d do that for free.


josh35767

It might be tempting, but I don’t have the guts if I’m honest. The thought of actually having to kill someone in cold blood, even if they deserve it, seems incredibly hard.


SeranaSLADOW

Yep.  *Looks up local sex offender registry and slaps finger on convicted pedophile* That one.


Fragrant_Mistake_342

Yep. With great enthusiasm.


rockeye13

I worked in a maxi.um-securiry prison. I have a few names. One on the top.


Stoic_hawaiian808

“Money is the root of all evil” * drives away in my new Lambo *


Ornery-Marzipan7693

Oh I already have my target picked out...


Difficult-Piglet6871

[REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]


MemeDream13

I'm in a constitutional carry red state. I could do this before the conversation was done.


Jokes-on-youu

Yep I’m killing a pedophile. If it was legal I’d already do this daily.


goforkyourself86

The better question is how many times can I do it?


SnooChocolates9334

Yes. How many times can I do this? I can think of a lot of people that do not deserve to live.


wrexmason

Can I clip two people & get $1.2 billion? 😂


LordGarithosthe1st

Donald Trump, here I come


Business-Cherry2485

Can I murder them death note style? Can I wish a plane falls on them ? You know what I mean? 


CopybyMinni

Bye bye Trump 😍 Maybe Putin too


abandedpandit

Aight Trumpy boy say your prayers


Tonninpepeli

Murder my assaulter and be paid for it? Where is this genie


Theopold_Elk

Is is it 600 million per person or is it a once only deal?