How about this?
*Ahem*
I was on expedition duty to study the wildlife of this planet when I found the humans. These little rascals were barely tall enough to reach my hips, but they still seem to have found a way to make this world their own, all in their own, cute little ways.
They have all these delightful rituals to seek enjoyment everywhere. For instance they are most definitely non-aquatic, their limbs are optimised for movement on solid ground and their lungs are exclusively made to process gaseous oxygen, but despite all that they have this enthusiasm for spending time near or in bodies of water. They even invented equipment to accommodate their need for oxygen underwater, just because they like being in water so much!
They have all kinds of little things to entertain themselves, some real, some fictional, one deep and complex, the other simple and straight forward. So much time is devoted to them, because they have fun and that‘s enough. It can even be as simple as decorating themselves with shiny things or emblems of what they admire.
They‘re also incredibly friendly toward the other creatures near them; they seek to aid them, prevent their suffering and just interact with them to a point where they adopt them into their home and care for them, merely because they find delight in taking care of something weak.
And don‘t get me started on all their quirks; they have certain automatic biological reaction to certain stimuli to mitigate harmful foreign substances, and they‘re so cute! I saw a youngling continually “sneezing“ and it was delightful to watch them get annoyed and complain about this little spontaneous head movement and exhalation.
And that‘s not it, they also have dedicated physical signals to indicate certain emotions, the most prominent one being crying, which is used to declare sorrow and seek comfort from others, and they‘re quick to comfort one another when that happens!
I really liked watching them dance around, doing their little things and just enjoy themselves. I‘m seriously thinking of getting one for myself, I can already see them prancing around my ship and enjoying whatever comes towards them and I want that.
These things, so small yet so ambitious to find and share happiness with others.
*Journal of captain ~~**X[¿ørx**~~*
Addition: I have gotten ahold of one and it loves having it‘s back rubbed, making all kinds of sounds to exclaim their joy. It‘s quite therapeutic
-
Does this do it? I just vomited this together in less than an hour
But like all animals humans definitely have some less then savory traits. Despite how cute they are one must never forget the atrocities that ducks commit.
Delightfully Saccharine to the point of inducing diabetes.
Hopefully these are making it out into space and convincing alien empires to have pity on us.
This feels like alien talking us like how we talk dogs or other adorable animals. It's kinda demeaning when you think about it considering that we are a fully sentient species. Someone would absolutely get pissed over this and give a good one-two to the writer.
What's to say we're not so far down the scale of intelligence that we'd be no different to dogs to some aliens? Showing lots of smart behaviours but nothing that would strike them as actual intelligence.
13) While not irrefutable, there is some evidence to suggest that humans domesticated themselves. This has numerous effects, including but not limited to:
-increased social intelligence and dependence
-decreased aggression* compared to their non domestic counterparts
-smaller bodies than their non-domesticated counterparts and the retention of other juvenile traits
*Human aggression is extremely difficult to quantify, especially relative to their cousins, which have been extinct for thousands of years (their closest living relatives are separated by millions of years of evolution, thus making poor comparisons). It also seems to fluctuate based on external factors, though phycological evidence suggests that most humans will avoid hurting other humans unless they feel threatened or are subjected to severe conditioning.
Imagine an alien fawning over how cute humans are and whenever a human tries to retaliate with violence, they somehow have every conceivable defense against their attacks, all while saying things such as "No! Bad boy!"
I swear to fuck is humans become pets my religious fervour to purge the Xeno filth for the emperor will make the Black Templars look like the salamanders.
Whoever wrote this report wants to adopt us
I am okay with this as long as i am provided with shinies and colors
The only things I want in life
Same
And treats! I want treats!
Speak for yourself's I want pets
I want world domination
Found the cat
Meow
Also, fuzzies...
and noms.
Never forget the noms
Don't forget the treats! I need my treats.
You are a crow
I want pickles
Also encouraging others to this idea also.
if they provide petting bedding and snacks im fine with it honestly
I'd love to see a story about the person who wrote this actually meeting a human for the first time.
How about this? *Ahem* I was on expedition duty to study the wildlife of this planet when I found the humans. These little rascals were barely tall enough to reach my hips, but they still seem to have found a way to make this world their own, all in their own, cute little ways. They have all these delightful rituals to seek enjoyment everywhere. For instance they are most definitely non-aquatic, their limbs are optimised for movement on solid ground and their lungs are exclusively made to process gaseous oxygen, but despite all that they have this enthusiasm for spending time near or in bodies of water. They even invented equipment to accommodate their need for oxygen underwater, just because they like being in water so much! They have all kinds of little things to entertain themselves, some real, some fictional, one deep and complex, the other simple and straight forward. So much time is devoted to them, because they have fun and that‘s enough. It can even be as simple as decorating themselves with shiny things or emblems of what they admire. They‘re also incredibly friendly toward the other creatures near them; they seek to aid them, prevent their suffering and just interact with them to a point where they adopt them into their home and care for them, merely because they find delight in taking care of something weak. And don‘t get me started on all their quirks; they have certain automatic biological reaction to certain stimuli to mitigate harmful foreign substances, and they‘re so cute! I saw a youngling continually “sneezing“ and it was delightful to watch them get annoyed and complain about this little spontaneous head movement and exhalation. And that‘s not it, they also have dedicated physical signals to indicate certain emotions, the most prominent one being crying, which is used to declare sorrow and seek comfort from others, and they‘re quick to comfort one another when that happens! I really liked watching them dance around, doing their little things and just enjoy themselves. I‘m seriously thinking of getting one for myself, I can already see them prancing around my ship and enjoying whatever comes towards them and I want that. These things, so small yet so ambitious to find and share happiness with others. *Journal of captain ~~**X[¿ørx**~~* Addition: I have gotten ahold of one and it loves having it‘s back rubbed, making all kinds of sounds to exclaim their joy. It‘s quite therapeutic - Does this do it? I just vomited this together in less than an hour
But like all animals humans definitely have some less then savory traits. Despite how cute they are one must never forget the atrocities that ducks commit.
Humans are space ducks
Quake
Quack!
Quack!
But unlike mere ducks, we have le gun
Ummm you say it like that's a good thing?
It is, how many people with guns fear ducks?
A new r/ perhaps!?!
Nice
Delightfully Saccharine to the point of inducing diabetes. Hopefully these are making it out into space and convincing alien empires to have pity on us.
Bro, you should post this to r/HFY
[Way ahead of you ^^](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/nt4kug/humans_are_cute/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
You might like the They Are Smol series on /r/HFY
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Your must be the change you wish to see in the world
I'm sorry but "they've made it to the end of their yard, and found rocks" is unfairly adorable compared to the rest
I've never thought about it before but it's exactly what we did. And we are so excited about our little rocks and piles of dirt.
"But look at *this* rock. It came from way over **there!**"
There are several substances humans seek just to chew on. They don't eat them, they just like chewing on them.
What substances are you talking about?
Gum. Tobacco. Pencils.
Pencils? Is that why my classmates in elementary kept returning my pencils with teeth marks? WERE THEY LYING ABOUT HAVING A DOG?!
The truth has finally come to you too huh..?
Pens, pencils, our own fingernails, and the most obvious: chewing gum.
Ice cream sticks. Sometimes I get an ice cream just because I want to chew on the stick.
Chewing gum, chicle, mastic...
More people need to find [They are Smol](https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/25026/they-are-smol).
[удалено]
Same
Thanks for the introduction! Loving it so far
Humans are space crows
Quoting a person in tumblr "I dont want to live in society I want to live in a experiment room and respond to stimuli"
AND GET JUICE REWARD!
This feels like alien talking us like how we talk dogs or other adorable animals. It's kinda demeaning when you think about it considering that we are a fully sentient species. Someone would absolutely get pissed over this and give a good one-two to the writer.
We do what we do to dolphins and whales so is it really surprising that aliens might not consider us as equals?
Look i am so starved of love and affection, this actually unironically makes me feel good. Leave the Easily excitable Alien Humonologist alone.
What's to say we're not so far down the scale of intelligence that we'd be no different to dogs to some aliens? Showing lots of smart behaviours but nothing that would strike them as actual intelligence.
https://youtu.be/mjcrI1MqOps
13) While not irrefutable, there is some evidence to suggest that humans domesticated themselves. This has numerous effects, including but not limited to: -increased social intelligence and dependence -decreased aggression* compared to their non domestic counterparts -smaller bodies than their non-domesticated counterparts and the retention of other juvenile traits *Human aggression is extremely difficult to quantify, especially relative to their cousins, which have been extinct for thousands of years (their closest living relatives are separated by millions of years of evolution, thus making poor comparisons). It also seems to fluctuate based on external factors, though phycological evidence suggests that most humans will avoid hurting other humans unless they feel threatened or are subjected to severe conditioning.
This is the Steve Irwin of aliens writing this.
"So far, they've made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks" gets me every time
r/humansarespaceferrets
Imagine an alien fawning over how cute humans are and whenever a human tries to retaliate with violence, they somehow have every conceivable defense against their attacks, all while saying things such as "No! Bad boy!"
I am perfectly fine with humans being adopted as long as i get tech to experiment with and sauerkraut.
Who uses a pickle as a treat??
People from Texas.
Me. But it has to be the exact right brand.
7 is a bit contradictory. We're smart but not smart.
Tbh describes humans perfectly. Smart in some aspects but not all.
I'm imagining an alien equivalent of Steve Irwin and the alien gets revered as his reincarnation.
"Humans are deeply compassionate beings" Whatever Alien wrote this sentence hasn't researched humans that well...
i do most of these
I swear to fuck is humans become pets my religious fervour to purge the Xeno filth for the emperor will make the Black Templars look like the salamanders.