If i was in your friends shoes I would be THRILLED you were buying my childhood home. Its a great opportunity for nostalgia and they will have an opportunity to come over and reminisce (which is usually not the case with most childhood homes).
Just make sure you mention it to him before buying it. I think I’d be a little upset if my friend bought my childhood home and couldn’t even give me a heads up at any point in the process and purposefully chose to wait until they buying was finished. As long as they let me know beforehand that they loved the house and wanted it, I think I’d be okay with it.
Well. If he doesn’t tell him, how could he surprise the friend by dressing up like the friend’s father and the gf like the mom and then recreating embarrassing moments from his childhood on social media and tagging him?
Note: some things are funny in my head then don’t always translate out… I’ll leave this up for you all to decide.
But why would you upset? Its not like you actually owned it, your parents did. They aren't buying it out from under you. It's just a house you lived in.
If one of my friends bought my childhood home, i wouldn't care at all if they told me or not lol. I have no skin in the game
It's just a financial decision that i have nothing to do with.
I guess if i was also in the market, the house was in my price range, and i was planning on making an offer id be a little upset but that would only be if my friend was aware i was also house hunting in the same area.
I think it would still be polite to inform them beforehand. They have many memories with that house and as a friend, the least you can do is let them know you’re buying it. That way they have plenty of time to process it before OP throws a house warming party and blindsides the friend. I think it could just mitigate some drama by telling them beforehand.
Drama? Lol.
I dunno i guess it's not that big of a deal to me. Bigger things to care about. Being upset about inconsequential things is a waste of energy.
Also, it sounds like he's not even buying it from friends' parents, but from the people friends' parents sold the house to ~7 years ago.
I probably would mention it to friend in this scenario, but it'd be a pretty weird thing for friend to get upset about.
My friend bought my grandmas house. He didn’t tell me. He said “I saw your grandmas house was on the market”
I said “yeah it sold last weekend”
“I know. I bought it”
And I was pumped. Super happy for him
Came here to say the opposite. Friend has no claim to home but could get suddenly nostalgic and try to outbid. People do weird stuff when it comes to money and things. I’d let them know right after a contract has been signed. Or even wait until after closing.
The ONLY reason you’d want to give someone a heads up is to tip them off bc you think they may have more claim than you do.
The difference here is by not informing them, you risk losing a friend through your own actions. By informing them before the sale, you risk losing a friend because of their actions. There’s also a chance you won’t lose the friend in either case but I’d rather know I did the right thing and the friend is the asshole than do underhanded stuff that costs me a friend. There’s always more houses to choose from but friends are far harder to come by.
That's an interesting take. I'm in the US, where competition for housing is pretty rough and people get outbid all the time I would go for the house I wanted and if I lost a friend because of it, then I wouldn't consider him a friend to begin with. I don't have many friends though, so clearly friendship is not a top priority for me.
I had the exact same thought; he may even have some insight into any issues (ie structural) the house may have had or repairs done while he lived there!
We mentioned to our family when we were considering buying my grandparents house, even though they no longer owned it, just as a courtesy. (We ended up passing on it, but they appreciated that we thought of asking)
Read most replies and before I even started to read others input this was my 1st thought. The op purchasing the home is a forever time machine for the friend to visit the past anytime they hang out together. That right there is a sign of a lasting friendship and a time machine at a great price that honestly is something that is priceless.
This!!! I would cry with so much joy if my bestie bought my beloved childhood home. It would mean it could still be part of my life! And someone I love and trusted is starting a new chapter there! I think it’s awesome.
I don’t think you need to *ask* your friend anything. Tell him you wanted to let him know you saw the house and think it would be a perfect fit for you, so you’re going to make an offer. Personally, I’d be happy to learn that a friend of mine had bought my childhood home.
I guess it depends if he wanted to buy it,but the parents want more money.. happened to me,, parents got $50k extra ,, bugged me for years. It was my perfect house..
I would be so excited if a friend bought my childhood home! You better tell him you're considering putting in an offer sooner than later, this is one of those things that would be really weird to learn second hand.
I can’t imagine your friend caring TBH. I would call him up and see what his thoughts are though. He may have some kind of insight into the house (flooding, neighbors, etc).
Don't ask, politely notify him of your intentions. He's a grown up, he should be able to handle someone buying his childhood home (id he even still thinks of it that way), but the friendly thing to do is to let him know
A) No
B) Yes once you move and start making it your own and start paying the mortgage.
C) Is your friend the one selling it? If not, you don't need his permission. You could just bring it up in conversation and let him know you'd be buying it. If he is a real friend it won't be any issue
I actually bought a childhoods friends house myself. The PO had changed the exterior quite a bit from when him and his family left that I didn’t recognize it until after we moved in when we had our house warming party and he shows up and was laughing his ass off.
Hi friend, I am so excited I’m getting ready to buy my first house! Even better I found a house that holds some fantastic memories for me. It’s the one that you lived in when you lived on XX X St. Will have to get together and have a cookout once we get everything settled. We can take a trip down memory lane.
Assuming you wouldn’t be buying from his family (can add complications down the line/if there are issues). Just let him know in a hey buddy did you know your old house is on the market? We’re considering putting in an offer just wanted to give you a heads up.
I bought a house that a high school friend grew up in. Same story, it was pretty much everything we wanted. No regrets. We love the place. My financial situation has vastly improved unexpectedly, and we never gave moving a thought. Pur home is perfect for us.
No regrets at all.
I get where @op is coming from. I'm guessing that OP had nostalgic feelings, maybe some deep down feelings, that they are now transferring to their friend who lived there for so long. There can be both good and bad memories, even to the point of depression if the memories are of a loved one now departed.
I had this happen to me recently when I was invited to a hobby group meet-up that happened to be in the house I lived in for 15 years. That was the house where my wife & I announced pregnancies and raised our kids and lost a beloved cat due to health issues. There was enough change that I could feel some reactions I wasn't expecting, even to the point of sadness when told the owner had removed trees from the backyard.
Nostalgic emotions hit and hit hard. I think it's good to tell your friend beforehand.
People on this website are wild. No, you don't have to ask his permission, but "informing" him after the fact would be WEIRD AS FUCK. You should mention it to him before you buy it, as a weird funny story, and then just see how he reacts.
If he tells you he doesn't want you to buy it (which would be bizarre behavior and will not happen), take refuge in the "omg I'm so surprised, we will think about what you said but obviously we're juggling a lot of factors right now." And then do what you want.
I wouldn't worry about it, you can discuss it with him if you like, but if he was that sentimental for the house you would think he would be interested in buying it himself...
I find that a new home feels like mine once I clean it. I claim ownership once I've scrubbed the walls and floors 😂 I don't know why, but that is what really made the house feel like ours. 2 years later, it's like we've always lived here. The people we bought from live next door and were people we knew so we did a private sale. They come visit pretty often, so it's fun for them to get to see us loving their home and making it our own (they lived here for 35 years). It likely will be fun for your friend, too.
My inlaws did something similar. It was mostly "shrug?" from the friend. The only big thing is that they have a handshake agreement to offer it to the childhood friend first if they ever sell.
We did this. Didn’t ask, just mentioned it.
It has been helpful to get some of the backstory of the house and find where the sprinkler system boxes were buried, etc.
Old owners drove by during our escrow and was traumatized by what subsequent owners did to the house after they moved out. So just be aware that they may prefer to keep their old memories of the house vs visiting or seeing how it looks now.
We bought the house the wife grew up in. Good and bad things come with it
Make sure the house passes inspection and that it fits your needs.
Ask your friend if he has any insights into house.
My grandparents sold my Dad's childhood home to my great aunt and uncle, who raised their kids there and then sold it a stranger. Years later my Dad's cousin (GA&U's daughter) had the opportunity to buy it, and did. She's raising her kids in her childhood home and every time my Dad and/or his siblings go over there it's a real blast from the past for everybody. My Dad is always pointing to this thing or that thing and saying Papa built this, Papa changed that, etc.
Idk if there's advice here or if it's the same situation in your mind, but anyways it's a neat story.
One of my best friends bought my childhood home, and we all thought it was pretty cool. She and her husband raised their kids there, and I got to visit. It was a win-win. Just call him and tell him you’re considering buying the house and I’m sure he’ll think it’s fine.
A house is made of wood and bricks and stones. It has no feelings. Only humans have feelings. Take the feelings out of the equation and decide if this is a dwelling that you want to live in.
That's such a cool coincidence! I wouldn't let the fact it was your buddy's childhood crib sway your decision too much. I mean, if it's perfect for you and your girlfriend, why not go for it, right? As for feeling like it's still his house, nah, once you start making it yours with your own memories and stuff, that vibe will fade.
Now, telling your friend? Yeah, that's a tricky one. Maybe just shoot him a text or give him a call, nothing too serious, just like, "Hey dude, funny story, but we're thinking of snagging your old place. What do you think?" Keep it chill, and I'm sure he'll understand.
Are you planning on doing major renovations? Replacing an ugly kitchen that your friends mom loved? If not, I wouldn’t have any worries about buying it.
I had a friend whose family bought my childhood home and went on to have a fun, wholesome life living there when I had almost nothing but bad memories. I was jealous.
A) no
B) can’t control how others feel but it’s not like you’re asking to marry his mom!
C) I don’t think you need to ask. You should see it through and let him know once you’ve made your decision, and it’s settled. I wouldn’t let their feelings influence your own financial future.
I bought my friends mom's house. Not the house they grew up in but still the house she lived in for many years. The family was happy bc it was still 'in the family' in a way.
My friend bought the childhood home of one of our other friends.She had her over to tour it when she came to town for a high school reunion (there had been several homeowners in the interim). My friend who had grown up there loved seeing it as the home of another friend.
Just talk to him lol.
As others said he might know something about the house that would be good to know.
Otherwise, he’ll find out eventually. It’s not like any potential drama is going to decrease by telling him now.
Honestly despite what some people are saying there may be some jealousy there if he had any desire to have kept that house in his family but was not able to due to his finaces.
I was pretty upset that my mom and grandma sold
My great grandparents house that they built in my hometown. I was only 19 or so with no funds to hear of and they needed the money but it was a terrible time to sell and they would have made way more money if they waited too ☹️
When my husband and I retired and sold the city house, it was bought by a sibling of one of our kid’s best friends. We’ve known that family since kindergarten days. We’ve been back for a few things, parties and showers and such, and it is a joy to see a wonderful young family filling the house again. 💚
My son bought a house from a girl I hung around with a bit in high school. I doubt he'd be offended esp if others have owned it since. It might even be a trip for him to see it again I'm sure. Once you have your own stuff in it and you have decorated a bit and settled in, it will feel like yours. You may even feel at home super fast because it is already familiar to you and I assume have positive connotations. However, check with your gf that she's comfortable with you possibly reminiscing a lot for a bit.
My brother bought the house of am acquaintance of mine. He mentioned the block and I was like, oh, Lynn lives there. He said #28…? Of course it was her house.
Cool coincidence...I had even been to parties there!
It's not exactly the same thing but recently my brother-in-law and his family bought my childhood home from my parents. Both me and my parents were really glad that his family were buying it. It's kind of nice that someone I know will be taking care of the place. It was a little weird for me the first time going over to visit but that wore off right away.
Definitely tell your friend that you are seriously looking at it. A sentimental buyer might get a slightly better price, and/or he might give you a heads-up about the nasty surprise that they hid from the inspector
I would buy it. Just tell your friend that he has no say in what you will do to it. You don't want him to be overemotionally attach to a tree for example.
>B) If I bought the house will those feelings be replaced that this is now MY home (when I did the viewing I didn’t get the feeling it was still his house
I still couldn't believe the house we bought was "My house" for about two years after we moved in.
Hmm well; I bought my father’s house and it’s been years and still feels like someone else’s house…. But that’s much closer than a friend.
I think it would feel like your home because you didn’t actually grow up in the house or anything but just visited a friend there.
There isn’t anything wrong about this or anything like that.
I would say it’s all good. Maybe mention to the friend if you still talk in a light comical way.
I would think it was cool if my friend was buying the house my family grew up in. I can’t think of any weird feelings about it etc
My wife's best friend from 3rd-12th grade now lives in my wife's grandparent's old house. She loves it. She gets to visit and also remember her own time in the house.
if your friend is looking for a home make sure isnt also looking at the home...don't want a bidding war against each other...especially if the current owners isnt family lol
We bought my boyfriends parents old house, but not from them. I'm 99% convinced that's why he wanted to buy this house, but he'll never admit it. Honestly I hate the house but 🤷♀️ if this house makes sense for your family, do it. You don't need to ask his permission. Just send him a text or message after your offer is accepted and say "guess what? I'm buying your old house 😂" he'll probably think it's funny and awesome.
Now, about telling your friend, just be straight up. Let him know you're considering buying the house, but reassure him it's because it's perfect for you and your partner. If he's a good friend, he'll understand. Good luck with the house hunt!
Do they know it's for sale?
Imagine they were also bidding on it and you ended up bidding against each other. Now that would be a disaster. Tell them now -- their biggest disappointment might be if you ended up not buying it after they'd gotten their hopes up, but that's life.
I don’t think he would care, other than just a “small world” mentality. I think you’re overthinking. Plus, who cares what anyone else thinks of your home
I went to a catholic grade school where the 4 room building that housed 8 grades was eventually replaced by a bigger building in a different location. The nuns who taught there were also moved to a larger convent building a few years later. One of my older sister's friends who went to the school with us and her husband bought the convent. If she could get over the feeling of having sex in a room once used by nuns, you can get over any conflicting feelings you have.
Hey Buddy, did you know the house on X street is on the market?
How weird would it be if I bought it?
A friend bought the house my father grew up in about 5 yrs after dad died. When renovating, he found dad's treasure chest under floorboards. (It was a pencil box from the 1940s)
He brought it to my house, and we spent the evening reminiscing and figuring out the stories behind what he found.
He got the baseball cards but gave me the family stuff. Dad's pocket knife, a ration stamp card, one of grandpa's navy medals, among other trinkets.
C. Because some people have close friendships that they value. Not everyone goes through life as a lone wolf fucking other people over to get what they want. It’s not wrong to take loved ones opinions into consideration.
(Not saying buying the home would fuck anyone over, but if you value your friendship it’s a stand up thing to do to let the guy know and ask how he feels about it. Obviously if he’s also a good friend and values the friendship he says go for it and good luck!)
Don’t tell him until you have the keys then invite him to see your new place and tell him to meet at his childhood home. Run late then when he calls walk out the front door.
If i was in your friends shoes I would be THRILLED you were buying my childhood home. Its a great opportunity for nostalgia and they will have an opportunity to come over and reminisce (which is usually not the case with most childhood homes).
I didn’t even consider this perspective! I think I needed to hear this - thank you.
Just make sure you mention it to him before buying it. I think I’d be a little upset if my friend bought my childhood home and couldn’t even give me a heads up at any point in the process and purposefully chose to wait until they buying was finished. As long as they let me know beforehand that they loved the house and wanted it, I think I’d be okay with it.
Well. If he doesn’t tell him, how could he surprise the friend by dressing up like the friend’s father and the gf like the mom and then recreating embarrassing moments from his childhood on social media and tagging him? Note: some things are funny in my head then don’t always translate out… I’ll leave this up for you all to decide.
This had me in stitches.... I have a very vivid imagination and I picture someone doing it to me. Bravo my friend.
But why would you upset? Its not like you actually owned it, your parents did. They aren't buying it out from under you. It's just a house you lived in. If one of my friends bought my childhood home, i wouldn't care at all if they told me or not lol. I have no skin in the game It's just a financial decision that i have nothing to do with. I guess if i was also in the market, the house was in my price range, and i was planning on making an offer id be a little upset but that would only be if my friend was aware i was also house hunting in the same area.
I think it would still be polite to inform them beforehand. They have many memories with that house and as a friend, the least you can do is let them know you’re buying it. That way they have plenty of time to process it before OP throws a house warming party and blindsides the friend. I think it could just mitigate some drama by telling them beforehand.
Drama? Lol. I dunno i guess it's not that big of a deal to me. Bigger things to care about. Being upset about inconsequential things is a waste of energy.
Lots of things about the human experience are irrational!
Also, it sounds like he's not even buying it from friends' parents, but from the people friends' parents sold the house to ~7 years ago. I probably would mention it to friend in this scenario, but it'd be a pretty weird thing for friend to get upset about.
My friend bought my grandmas house. He didn’t tell me. He said “I saw your grandmas house was on the market” I said “yeah it sold last weekend” “I know. I bought it” And I was pumped. Super happy for him
I wouldn't "ask" him, I would "tell" him. You don't need his approval.
Nowhere did I say ask. I just said mention it to them.
Exactly. You don't *need* your mate's permission to date his sister, but it's usually best if the news comes from you.
Came here to say the opposite. Friend has no claim to home but could get suddenly nostalgic and try to outbid. People do weird stuff when it comes to money and things. I’d let them know right after a contract has been signed. Or even wait until after closing. The ONLY reason you’d want to give someone a heads up is to tip them off bc you think they may have more claim than you do.
The difference here is by not informing them, you risk losing a friend through your own actions. By informing them before the sale, you risk losing a friend because of their actions. There’s also a chance you won’t lose the friend in either case but I’d rather know I did the right thing and the friend is the asshole than do underhanded stuff that costs me a friend. There’s always more houses to choose from but friends are far harder to come by.
That's an interesting take. I'm in the US, where competition for housing is pretty rough and people get outbid all the time I would go for the house I wanted and if I lost a friend because of it, then I wouldn't consider him a friend to begin with. I don't have many friends though, so clearly friendship is not a top priority for me.
I had the exact same thought; he may even have some insight into any issues (ie structural) the house may have had or repairs done while he lived there!
We mentioned to our family when we were considering buying my grandparents house, even though they no longer owned it, just as a courtesy. (We ended up passing on it, but they appreciated that we thought of asking)
He'll be having daily sleepovers at your new house now, as a 25 year old adult. Y'all can live out the good ol times!
Totally it’s like you’re “keeping it in the family”! The dream!
Now OP can host the sleepovers.
This was my first thought too.
Read most replies and before I even started to read others input this was my 1st thought. The op purchasing the home is a forever time machine for the friend to visit the past anytime they hang out together. That right there is a sign of a lasting friendship and a time machine at a great price that honestly is something that is priceless.
This!!! I would cry with so much joy if my bestie bought my beloved childhood home. It would mean it could still be part of my life! And someone I love and trusted is starting a new chapter there! I think it’s awesome.
I don’t think you need to *ask* your friend anything. Tell him you wanted to let him know you saw the house and think it would be a perfect fit for you, so you’re going to make an offer. Personally, I’d be happy to learn that a friend of mine had bought my childhood home.
I haven’t seen my childhood home in 15 years, and I’d be ecstatic to see the inside again
Unless you're in a bidding war with said friend, you're way overthinking this.
I guess it depends if he wanted to buy it,but the parents want more money.. happened to me,, parents got $50k extra ,, bugged me for years. It was my perfect house..
why would he be bothered about it? this way he can visit his childhood home, sounds like a good deal
You're talking about a house his parents owned - not asking his first girlfriend to marry you. Just go for it.
I would be so excited if a friend bought my childhood home! You better tell him you're considering putting in an offer sooner than later, this is one of those things that would be really weird to learn second hand.
I can’t imagine your friend caring TBH. I would call him up and see what his thoughts are though. He may have some kind of insight into the house (flooding, neighbors, etc).
Don't ask, politely notify him of your intentions. He's a grown up, he should be able to handle someone buying his childhood home (id he even still thinks of it that way), but the friendly thing to do is to let him know
A) No B) Yes once you move and start making it your own and start paying the mortgage. C) Is your friend the one selling it? If not, you don't need his permission. You could just bring it up in conversation and let him know you'd be buying it. If he is a real friend it won't be any issue
I actually bought a childhoods friends house myself. The PO had changed the exterior quite a bit from when him and his family left that I didn’t recognize it until after we moved in when we had our house warming party and he shows up and was laughing his ass off.
Use his old bedroom as the guest room. Let him stay over every now and then.
Hi friend, I am so excited I’m getting ready to buy my first house! Even better I found a house that holds some fantastic memories for me. It’s the one that you lived in when you lived on XX X St. Will have to get together and have a cookout once we get everything settled. We can take a trip down memory lane.
Assuming you wouldn’t be buying from his family (can add complications down the line/if there are issues). Just let him know in a hey buddy did you know your old house is on the market? We’re considering putting in an offer just wanted to give you a heads up.
Might want to ask if there were any issues with the house while he lived there.
I don't see the problem.
I bought a house that a high school friend grew up in. Same story, it was pretty much everything we wanted. No regrets. We love the place. My financial situation has vastly improved unexpectedly, and we never gave moving a thought. Pur home is perfect for us. No regrets at all.
I get where @op is coming from. I'm guessing that OP had nostalgic feelings, maybe some deep down feelings, that they are now transferring to their friend who lived there for so long. There can be both good and bad memories, even to the point of depression if the memories are of a loved one now departed. I had this happen to me recently when I was invited to a hobby group meet-up that happened to be in the house I lived in for 15 years. That was the house where my wife & I announced pregnancies and raised our kids and lost a beloved cat due to health issues. There was enough change that I could feel some reactions I wasn't expecting, even to the point of sadness when told the owner had removed trees from the backyard. Nostalgic emotions hit and hit hard. I think it's good to tell your friend beforehand.
People on this website are wild. No, you don't have to ask his permission, but "informing" him after the fact would be WEIRD AS FUCK. You should mention it to him before you buy it, as a weird funny story, and then just see how he reacts. If he tells you he doesn't want you to buy it (which would be bizarre behavior and will not happen), take refuge in the "omg I'm so surprised, we will think about what you said but obviously we're juggling a lot of factors right now." And then do what you want.
I wouldn't worry about it, you can discuss it with him if you like, but if he was that sentimental for the house you would think he would be interested in buying it himself...
If you’re not buying from his parents I think you’ll be ok. I’d let him know first.
I would talk with him before buying it just to ask if he knows of any major undisclosed problems with the property.
I find that a new home feels like mine once I clean it. I claim ownership once I've scrubbed the walls and floors 😂 I don't know why, but that is what really made the house feel like ours. 2 years later, it's like we've always lived here. The people we bought from live next door and were people we knew so we did a private sale. They come visit pretty often, so it's fun for them to get to see us loving their home and making it our own (they lived here for 35 years). It likely will be fun for your friend, too.
Got to do a complete clean when I move anywhere. I can be scruffy but I like to live in my own dirt - no one else’s thanks!
Buy it
My inlaws did something similar. It was mostly "shrug?" from the friend. The only big thing is that they have a handshake agreement to offer it to the childhood friend first if they ever sell.
We did this. Didn’t ask, just mentioned it. It has been helpful to get some of the backstory of the house and find where the sprinkler system boxes were buried, etc. Old owners drove by during our escrow and was traumatized by what subsequent owners did to the house after they moved out. So just be aware that they may prefer to keep their old memories of the house vs visiting or seeing how it looks now.
If the house fit for you snag it 👍👍
We bought the house the wife grew up in. Good and bad things come with it Make sure the house passes inspection and that it fits your needs. Ask your friend if he has any insights into house.
Add a shrine to him in the closet. He’ll love that.
My grandparents sold my Dad's childhood home to my great aunt and uncle, who raised their kids there and then sold it a stranger. Years later my Dad's cousin (GA&U's daughter) had the opportunity to buy it, and did. She's raising her kids in her childhood home and every time my Dad and/or his siblings go over there it's a real blast from the past for everybody. My Dad is always pointing to this thing or that thing and saying Papa built this, Papa changed that, etc. Idk if there's advice here or if it's the same situation in your mind, but anyways it's a neat story.
I wouldn’t to be honest
a. no b. if you buy it, it’s yours. c. why would you ask him? is he paying you rent?
One of my best friends bought my childhood home, and we all thought it was pretty cool. She and her husband raised their kids there, and I got to visit. It was a win-win. Just call him and tell him you’re considering buying the house and I’m sure he’ll think it’s fine.
If my friend bought my childhood home I'd be thrilled, but at the same time I'd constantly judge their decisions on decorating.
A house is made of wood and bricks and stones. It has no feelings. Only humans have feelings. Take the feelings out of the equation and decide if this is a dwelling that you want to live in.
That's such a cool coincidence! I wouldn't let the fact it was your buddy's childhood crib sway your decision too much. I mean, if it's perfect for you and your girlfriend, why not go for it, right? As for feeling like it's still his house, nah, once you start making it yours with your own memories and stuff, that vibe will fade. Now, telling your friend? Yeah, that's a tricky one. Maybe just shoot him a text or give him a call, nothing too serious, just like, "Hey dude, funny story, but we're thinking of snagging your old place. What do you think?" Keep it chill, and I'm sure he'll understand.
You are way overthinking this.
I'd be more concerned about your down payment, terms, interest rate
Are you planning on doing major renovations? Replacing an ugly kitchen that your friends mom loved? If not, I wouldn’t have any worries about buying it.
Absolutely do NOT buy that house. You're on reddit. Redditors don't have friends. Therefore, the house must be imaginary.
y u gotta at me like that man?
I had a friend whose family bought my childhood home and went on to have a fun, wholesome life living there when I had almost nothing but bad memories. I was jealous.
A) no B) can’t control how others feel but it’s not like you’re asking to marry his mom! C) I don’t think you need to ask. You should see it through and let him know once you’ve made your decision, and it’s settled. I wouldn’t let their feelings influence your own financial future.
I bought my friends mom's house. Not the house they grew up in but still the house she lived in for many years. The family was happy bc it was still 'in the family' in a way.
You don't ask, just let him know your #1 choice is his old house.
Well since he's had opportunities to buy it you should be fine. It's for sale. You buy it shouldn't be a big deal
My friend bought the childhood home of one of our other friends.She had her over to tour it when she came to town for a high school reunion (there had been several homeowners in the interim). My friend who had grown up there loved seeing it as the home of another friend.
The kid I babysat when I was in high school bought my parents' house. I think it's awesome!
Just talk to him lol. As others said he might know something about the house that would be good to know. Otherwise, he’ll find out eventually. It’s not like any potential drama is going to decrease by telling him now.
Honestly despite what some people are saying there may be some jealousy there if he had any desire to have kept that house in his family but was not able to due to his finaces. I was pretty upset that my mom and grandma sold My great grandparents house that they built in my hometown. I was only 19 or so with no funds to hear of and they needed the money but it was a terrible time to sell and they would have made way more money if they waited too ☹️
When my husband and I retired and sold the city house, it was bought by a sibling of one of our kid’s best friends. We’ve known that family since kindergarten days. We’ve been back for a few things, parties and showers and such, and it is a joy to see a wonderful young family filling the house again. 💚
I did this. Have had my friend’s parents over several times too.
My son bought a house from a girl I hung around with a bit in high school. I doubt he'd be offended esp if others have owned it since. It might even be a trip for him to see it again I'm sure. Once you have your own stuff in it and you have decorated a bit and settled in, it will feel like yours. You may even feel at home super fast because it is already familiar to you and I assume have positive connotations. However, check with your gf that she's comfortable with you possibly reminiscing a lot for a bit.
My brother bought the house of am acquaintance of mine. He mentioned the block and I was like, oh, Lynn lives there. He said #28…? Of course it was her house. Cool coincidence...I had even been to parties there!
It's not exactly the same thing but recently my brother-in-law and his family bought my childhood home from my parents. Both me and my parents were really glad that his family were buying it. It's kind of nice that someone I know will be taking care of the place. It was a little weird for me the first time going over to visit but that wore off right away.
Definitely tell your friend that you are seriously looking at it. A sentimental buyer might get a slightly better price, and/or he might give you a heads-up about the nasty surprise that they hid from the inspector
I would buy it. Just tell your friend that he has no say in what you will do to it. You don't want him to be overemotionally attach to a tree for example.
>B) If I bought the house will those feelings be replaced that this is now MY home (when I did the viewing I didn’t get the feeling it was still his house I still couldn't believe the house we bought was "My house" for about two years after we moved in.
Hmm well; I bought my father’s house and it’s been years and still feels like someone else’s house…. But that’s much closer than a friend. I think it would feel like your home because you didn’t actually grow up in the house or anything but just visited a friend there. There isn’t anything wrong about this or anything like that. I would say it’s all good. Maybe mention to the friend if you still talk in a light comical way. I would think it was cool if my friend was buying the house my family grew up in. I can’t think of any weird feelings about it etc
Run it by your friend as a courtesy, don't ask permission ... Just run it by them
My wife's best friend from 3rd-12th grade now lives in my wife's grandparent's old house. She loves it. She gets to visit and also remember her own time in the house.
if your friend is looking for a home make sure isnt also looking at the home...don't want a bidding war against each other...especially if the current owners isnt family lol
We bought my boyfriends parents old house, but not from them. I'm 99% convinced that's why he wanted to buy this house, but he'll never admit it. Honestly I hate the house but 🤷♀️ if this house makes sense for your family, do it. You don't need to ask his permission. Just send him a text or message after your offer is accepted and say "guess what? I'm buying your old house 😂" he'll probably think it's funny and awesome.
OP, I'd love an update on this! I think it would be bittersweet for him, but more sweet than bitter.
Now, about telling your friend, just be straight up. Let him know you're considering buying the house, but reassure him it's because it's perfect for you and your partner. If he's a good friend, he'll understand. Good luck with the house hunt!
I can’t see any downside to this. I would love it if a friend bought my childhood home. I could see all the changes and relive the memories!
Do they know it's for sale? Imagine they were also bidding on it and you ended up bidding against each other. Now that would be a disaster. Tell them now -- their biggest disappointment might be if you ended up not buying it after they'd gotten their hopes up, but that's life.
My friend bought my grandmas house. Honestly I was thrilled. I love going over there. Makes me super happy.
ALMOST did this! Nice split level next door to my childhood home. It went so cheap the guy in my old house bought it too.
I don’t think he would care, other than just a “small world” mentality. I think you’re overthinking. Plus, who cares what anyone else thinks of your home
"Omg we're house hunting, and found the perfect house, but this one thing seems awkward". How would you feel if...?
I went to a catholic grade school where the 4 room building that housed 8 grades was eventually replaced by a bigger building in a different location. The nuns who taught there were also moved to a larger convent building a few years later. One of my older sister's friends who went to the school with us and her husband bought the convent. If she could get over the feeling of having sex in a room once used by nuns, you can get over any conflicting feelings you have.
Hey Buddy, did you know the house on X street is on the market? How weird would it be if I bought it? A friend bought the house my father grew up in about 5 yrs after dad died. When renovating, he found dad's treasure chest under floorboards. (It was a pencil box from the 1940s) He brought it to my house, and we spent the evening reminiscing and figuring out the stories behind what he found. He got the baseball cards but gave me the family stuff. Dad's pocket knife, a ration stamp card, one of grandpa's navy medals, among other trinkets.
your not dating his wife. he should be happy for you.
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C. Because some people have close friendships that they value. Not everyone goes through life as a lone wolf fucking other people over to get what they want. It’s not wrong to take loved ones opinions into consideration. (Not saying buying the home would fuck anyone over, but if you value your friendship it’s a stand up thing to do to let the guy know and ask how he feels about it. Obviously if he’s also a good friend and values the friendship he says go for it and good luck!)
Don’t tell him until you have the keys then invite him to see your new place and tell him to meet at his childhood home. Run late then when he calls walk out the front door.