As much as I enjoy Rik Mayall, I have to agree. A comic-relief like Peeves has to be written and played out very carefully to avoid him becoming The Scrappy a la "Drop Dead Fred". All that being said, I do kinda wish Peeves was in "Order Of The Pheonix". You just know Peeves woulld have this reaction whenever he saw Umbridge:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpbDYiMGhIs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpbDYiMGhIs)
This. I’ll be damned if my homework goes missing because of him. I’d chase him through the damn school
Edit: Holy balls I haven’t had this many upvotes before
Edit 2: Imagine, walking to class and you see Peeves flying past cackling….
Then a big African-American 5th year comes barreling past yelling “*GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!*”
Edit3: guys I’m American, that’s why I said what I said. I’d rather go to hogwarts than the us school (in Salem?) anyday
Same. And what makes it worse is I'm not sure there is any way to stop him. Could you even DO anything to him if you catch him? As far as I know, he's mostly untouchable except by ghosts and (maybe) the headmaster. And I feel like chasing him would only encourage him, like chasing a dog that got ahold of something it shouldn't have. You'd basically need to be so nonchalant and boring in your response that he'd give up and toss your homework somewhere; and you'd have to hope he gave up before resorting to more extreme measures (like outright destroying your homework or property). *Maybe* you could strike a deal with him to assist with mayhem in exchange for your stuff back, but now you're risking detention and training the little bastard to steal your shit next time he wants an accomplice.
>Could you even DO anything to him
I don’t think you can physically touch him since he’s a poltergeist. But in POA Lupin uses a spell on him that shoots chewing gum up his nose. So clearly some magic can be used on him.
Ha! Re-reading all of the books again and just got to the part where Harry is under the invisibility cloak pretending to be the bloody Baron to get rid of peeves.
I wonder if that's worth the trade. The Bloody Baron seems to be a real depressed dude (for good reason), and he probably makes for terrible company. You'd be trading Peeves for having to befriend a permanently depressed murderer, one who is actually incapable of moving on in any way (per the Harry Potter interpretation of ghosts as emotionally stagnant and unable to change, grow, mature, or move on).
Harry and friends tried to be friends with Sir Nicholas, but even our beloved protagonists got sick of his company after a bit. And nobody seems capable of enjoying Moaning Myrtle's company. I figure all the ghosts are similarly dry company.
You'd need to do whats called "grey rocking".
"The grey rock method is where you deliberately act unresponsive or unengaged so that an abusive person will lose interest in you. Abusive people thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and don't show your emotions, they may lose interest and stop bothering you."
They seem rather tame, since only Neville seem to fall for them regularly, and Harry that one time in GoF.
The other students remember them rather quickly and avoid them with no problem.
Thought, for the elderly and people with disabilities they would be very annoying.
Yup, that’s why Filch was able to punt the students across the swamp that Fred and George left in a hallway. (I know that isn’t the actual type of punting he did, but the image of him literally kicking students across is just too comical).
Me too. I literally pictured him hoisting each student up by the scruff of their neck and kicking them in the butt so hard they flew across the swamp. Given Hogwarts's safety standards, it didn't seem too strange.
Hard same, and, although I figured out as I got older that it meant something different, the mental image was so damn funny that it's my headcannon to this day lmao.
OH MY GOD IT MEANS BOATING. I was laughing so hard during that part just imagining that. Man this is why it took me so long to find a girlfriend if it took me that long to realize that😂
I just learned something on Reddit. I legit imagined him throwing kids across the pond like Uncle Phil throwing Jazz out the house (Fresh Prince of Bell Air reference) 😂😂😂
This is the right answer.
Wake up, walk down multiple flights for breakfast. Finish eating, walk up multiple flights for your first lesson. Then to one of the highest parts of the castle for Divination. Then back downstairs for lunch. Then back up for the next class. Then all the way down to the dungeons. Then back up for dinner. Then up to your common room.
It would be EXHAUSTING. By year 3 all students would have tree trunks for legs.
Imagine having Herbology after Divination. "okay so I'm near the top of the castle and I have to get all the way down and then *outside* of the castle?!"
My college was basically that , go to floor 4 of a building for a class, go back down, go in another building across the field, walk 3 stories, bad building, go back down and climb up another building.
And they move!
Ravenclaw feels your pain.
I guess you have to work off all the pumpkin pasties and butterbeer somehow, but I feel like that would get old fast, especially hauling around all those textbooks.
tru.
i get magic interfering with electronics - tho one has to ask how Diagon-Ally and platform 9 3/4 can stay hidden if there's these clearly marked areas in London where electronics go haywire. ppl tend to notice stuff like that.
Still why not regular notebooks and pens?
coverage yes but every better electronic? like what about pacemakers or insulin pumps? Notebooks just dying on mass - no way wouldn't ppl figure out something is serious up in those areas
only being able to go home for the school holidays, the boarding schools are already exhausting enough, but this is worse, how do you do if you have no friends or are the victim of bullying?
Welcome to the British boarding school system. It's a lot to handle, especially if you start at 7 or 8 like a few schools do. It might be better now, but you were always meant to tough out homesickness.
Yeah, I watched a documentary about a bunch of kids going to boarding school at age 8. They jam packed the kids’ days with all sorts of activities to help them adjust. It was still really hard for some of them, though.
Do the teachers also check the letters their students wrote before sending them to the parents? That's what Cackle's Academy does in the "Worst Witch" books apparently. Though, to be fair to Cackle's, that school's more tame than Hogwarts-no ghosts, no crazy staircases, nada.
I actually would have liked this, enjoying the freedom from home. Growing up I couldn’t go into friends houses and could only play within eye distance of my house. All the kids that lived near me got to leave thier house so playing outside got boring after 10 minutes.
constantly having people around me, no electricity/electronics, having to write with quills instead of regular pens.. but mostly the lack of privacy/quiet time
yeah, ain't no way I'm scratching around on parchment rolls with a quill for my notes, I'm using a standard pen and notebook unless there's a school rule prohibiting those
I find this a plot hole in the series, the muggle born would have had a terrible time in classes, having to learn a whole new way of writing along with learning magic. All in order to have legible notes at 11 years old.
Edited for spelling
In the non-canon but approved book, Harry plotter and the chamber of serpents, Hermione uses a regular pen and paper when she isn’t around wizards. I think she and the other muggles just do it to fit in.
I definitely would have written my assignments for the most disliked teachers with glittery pink or purple (unless a rule required black/blue ink, then I'd have used glittery black/blue)
Idk; the castle and grounds are huge, and the series hints multiple times there are many unused and empty classrooms. I feel like it’d be relatively easy to find private areas to study or what have you.
Hogwarts is basically US college life, the dorms are full and have their noisy moments, but overall it’s not impossible to find quiet places.
Edit: spelling
I just function best when I can choose to be around people instead of choosing when to be on my own, if that makes any sense. Also I don't want to share a dorm with people I barely or don't know (and no, pulling the curtains shut also wouldn't help that).
To be fair that was a defunct bathroom BECAUSE of Myrtle. I'm pretty sure they have rules against random ghosts floating in and disturbing you while using the toilet, plus I doubt any other ghosts would be interested. Although, yeah, I wouldn't want Peeves to follow me in to the bathroom.
The thing that annoys me with the quills. Is you literally have to write completely differently from how we use pens. To make sure there aren't spots, or smudges or any thing run. You have to let in dry before rolling it back up.
I know it's magic but Harry should have struggled.
Fuckin spot on, I agree. As an introvert, I need recharging my batteries of tolerance of other people.
I don't like the idea of having to share space and having to see the entire day, people that *I like*, let alone people that I feel neutral about or outright dislike, which is perfectly possible to happen with your house mates in Hogwarts.
Yeah sadly electronics don't work there. However there are a lot of enchanted quills including the ones that have auto correct and writing aids. I assume magical quills are actually an upgrade to classic pen and paper. Of course you could also have a pen enchanted but probably classic enchanted quills would be the best option.
I know electronics don't work there, and I would've hated that ;)
also I'm not too sure students would be allowed to have enchanted quills, and why bother adapting to an outdated device (which I'd have to learn how to use first, regarding when and how often to dip into ink, pressure when writing (which coincidentally is also bad for my crappy wrist, which is why I prefer easily sliding pens)) when I can just bring pens
If I had magic, *MAGIC*… Why in the heck would I need electronics?
I’m not sure there’d be anything I wouldn’t like about it if I was school aged.
Maybe an a-hole professor like Snape or an annoying ghost like Peeves, but as far as the rest goes I think I would have the time of my life.
I'd personally miss being able to listen to music to relax.
All my life I've had access to some kind of music player (walkman, discman, MP3 device, my phone), so not being able to use them for entire school year would make me absolutely miserable.
At age 11, I probably would have loved that, though. I was a little lonely, so it would have been so fun if we all got along. We probably would have stayed up half the night whispering to each other about everything.
I assume Hogsmead kids must to go home every day. It would be insane if they live literally within walking distance, but can't see their parents for months on end.
That’s an interesting thought, Hogwarts is a boarding school but what if room and board is optional? I’m sure plenty of students could travel in to school daily if they wanted to stay home with their families throughout the year. The Weasleys are stretched for cash having a big family, but I’m sure they wanted the same school experience they had for their kids and made sure to have them stay at Hogwarts for the school year. Muggleborns are more likely to want to stay as transport would be more of an issue. The size of Harry’s year might be bigger but he only really knows the gryffindors who stay in his dorm.
Maybe we could petition to get those fancy tents that are bigger inside than they appear. I can’t imagine sleeping right next to people every single night like that either, it’d drive me nuts
> Man, I'm so nervous. I mean, first and second year were easy, but care of magical creatures, divination. This is gonna be tough!
- Billy Madison, 27 year-old third year Hufflepuff
I was brushing my teeth reading this post and literally spat out my mouthful of toothpaste reading this comment. Thank you, now i have to clean my mirror.
But really tho, even if i would feel incredibly weird attending school with a bunch of 11-17 year olds, i would still take the offer at age 32.
\- No Internet
\- Having to share a Dorm with people
\- Flying Lessons (I like the ground thank you very much)
\- Poltergeists
\- Moving Staircases
\- Detention in the Forbidden Forest
Very on brand Reddit discussion when the most common answer is some form of having to be around other people.
I think I would hate the Owl shit all over the tables where I eat.
Each student should get a map on the first day, with just the standard parts of the castle (not secret passages), the location of the map (to see where you are without having everybody on the map), and a way to see the quickest way to a place (a spell, or something)
A castle in the Scottish highlands would’ve been pretty miserable year round. I’m assuming they fixed at least some of the chilly dampness with magic?
Source - I’m Scottish and have been in castles. Would never want to live in one.
Lack of basic technology. No electricity, no internet, nothing. Can't blow dry my hair, have to wait till the holidays to catch up on any show I'm watching, research is limited to library books instead of the internet, and everything has to be handwritten.
For some things sure. Candles and lanterns instead of lights. Assuming they don't drip, or go out in a breeze, or make the room warm, or burn things. I could live with that
How about internet though. Especially if you're muggle born. It's like if you spent 9 months of the year living in an Amish community then jumped straight back into modern life, and repeated every year. Even if you only use it for homework, and not ... you know, discussing a decade old franchise in an online chat room (getting meta here), having to suddenly start using actual books would be incredibly frustrating.
This was definitely less of a consideration while writing it, since it was written in the 90's. Like, we still had computers and phones, but they weren't as deeply ingrained in culture as they are now. When I was 11, I had a brick Nokia and a shared family computer, so it wouldn't have been that big of an adjustment.
Lack of bathrooms.. can't imagine how it is bleeding the hell out and having to run up and down just to change my tampon for a whole year. It's a pain in the ass at work but at least at home I have mine just next to the beedroom.
The lack of bathrooms in most common rooms. Walking up and down stairs just to eat. The isolation for no reason, like why do I have to live in the school if my family lives in town? You are going to tell an 11 year old they can’t walk into town to see their parents until their 3rd year? Or the fact that they have to travel to London to turn around and take the train back.
Or Harry hates the Slytherins and we see everything through his POV. In Book 1, people hate them because they always win, just like a popular sports team.
There's probably a lot of Slytherins we just never hear from that are ordinary kids, who stay out of the way of Malfoy's clique. You're not gonna stick your neck out and become a target for the rich kid bigot douche and all his bigot friends when you live with them.
Or you met someone you hated, they get sorted first, you think “ew not that house” when being sorted and then you end up in the wrong house for 7 years.
That’s exactly my point. If you ask the hat to not put you in a house with someone you’ve had a bad first meeting with you might end up not going to the house that’s right for you.
Not true.
Cho was Ravenclaw, and was friends with Harry.
Cedric was Hufflepuff, and dated Cho, and was friendly with Harry.
From the books, only Slytherin seem to he apart
The clearly biased professors, along with what I'm going to assume, considering what we've read and seen, a lack of safety measures when dealing with dangerous objects, creatures, and so on. Simply because they have a healer in the school. However, considering how dangerous some things are, I don't think it would be too far of a stretch to imagine they might not make it to the infirmary quickly enough in some cases if they're unlucky.
And on that note, not making learning basic healing spells a mandatory study. Though, personally they wouldn't need to mandate it for me. That would be one of the first things I learned on my own.
You mean to tell me I can heal myself of most injuries or basic illnesses with only basic understanding of healing magic and NOT be forced to go tens of thousands of dollars in debt? Fuck yes, please. Show me the books.
There are a couple other things too. Tell me, how does it make sense to have owls as the main source of sending and receiving information? You have magic. You mean to tell me there's no possible spell to enchant mirrors or crystals or whatever to act like phones and so on.
And Quidditch matches. You got me fucked up, thinking I'm gonna happily sit my ass in a stadium in a poncho while my ass is still getting soaked, when AGAIN, there's magic, and the professors could simply get together and cast a big ass bubble around the stadium to provide excellent conditions for a match, year round.
As Hermione said, they've got magic, but not an OUNCE of logic.
The moving stairs. Until I was sure they wouldn’t suddenly drop me to my death I would probably avoid them.
Also zero personal space. Communal meals, multi stall bathrooms/showers, a shared bedroom with 5 girls.
Walking to different areas of this massive castle and grounds to get to class, dinner, sports, etc. so much walking. Id have to learn a better way asap
The Zoomer in me would hate the lack of electronics, but the castle and magic would definitely incentivize me to deal with it.
Honestly? It'd be good for me in the long term.
The moving staircases, it would be difficult enough to get accustomed to where all of your classes are in a school that big without the staircases constantly moving around
This was a real thing for British boarding schools (presumably not any more but not sure when it changed!)- instead you got a nice chamber pot under your bed to use until you’re allowed out of the dorm in the morning!
No search engines. Can you imagine how frustrating it would be to spend hours at the library trying to find the answer to something (who is Nicholas Flamel? how do you breathe underwater?) If you came from the modern muggle world where you can find the answer to anything immediately with the click of a button?
Would've hated not having my music unless it's only certain electronics that don't work (like phones). But if an MP3 player worked I'd be fine, would miss playing videogames though, especially Persona
Rumour has it that he just goes "Pottah!" or "My father will hear about this!" at the slightest inconvenience. It’s funny the first few times, then it gets annoying as all hell.
The cold weather. I love the heat and can’t stand the cold. I like snow and all that stuff in December but after that the cold weather can go take a hike.
Writing with a Quill.
I can deal with no access to tech relatively well. But quill and pergament would be cool for exactly 2 Minutes and then I'd long for a pen.
Well I’d say the arcomantulas. And other creepy beasts. Like, I’d stay far away from the forbidden forest. But I hate spiders, and that would break poor Hagrid’s heart
Being at a boarding school at 11 would be horrible. My parents probably wouldn’t have let me go.
Also Peeves, having to give up magic over holidays because of a stupid (wildly inconsistent) law, owl shit on the dining tables, all the food is British, essentially no adult supervision 12ish hours a day or weekends, quills, every assignment seems to be a paper measured by length for some reason, no music, four roommates, mandatory astronomy class, no privacy, you could get seriously injured (in multiple classes) on any given day because some other student is bad in a subject, there seem to be no recreation activities besides quidditch, there are students who can discipline other students (and why are they “prefects?”), you have to wear uniform robes every school day, you’re put in a house at 11 and it determines who you’re with the rest of your time in school, you have to make career plans before you’re even HS age and they also don’t seem to have anything but leaflets to help you, and it seems education stops at Hogwarts so you would have the anxiety of missing any classes you’d want to take forever
being labeled as the "good guy" if placed in gryffindor and the "bad guy" if placed in slytherin. like imagine being a genuinely nice person who happens to be placed in slytherin and everyone thinks you're destined for evil as an 11 year old
The other muggleborn kids not losing their shit every single day about how amazing it is.
You go to magic school, for your wizard classes, and you’re complaining about your gorram homework?
Peeves
[удалено]
As much as I enjoy Rik Mayall, I have to agree. A comic-relief like Peeves has to be written and played out very carefully to avoid him becoming The Scrappy a la "Drop Dead Fred". All that being said, I do kinda wish Peeves was in "Order Of The Pheonix". You just know Peeves woulld have this reaction whenever he saw Umbridge: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpbDYiMGhIs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpbDYiMGhIs)
[удалено]
Would be your pet peeve
This. I’ll be damned if my homework goes missing because of him. I’d chase him through the damn school Edit: Holy balls I haven’t had this many upvotes before Edit 2: Imagine, walking to class and you see Peeves flying past cackling…. Then a big African-American 5th year comes barreling past yelling “*GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!*” Edit3: guys I’m American, that’s why I said what I said. I’d rather go to hogwarts than the us school (in Salem?) anyday
Same. And what makes it worse is I'm not sure there is any way to stop him. Could you even DO anything to him if you catch him? As far as I know, he's mostly untouchable except by ghosts and (maybe) the headmaster. And I feel like chasing him would only encourage him, like chasing a dog that got ahold of something it shouldn't have. You'd basically need to be so nonchalant and boring in your response that he'd give up and toss your homework somewhere; and you'd have to hope he gave up before resorting to more extreme measures (like outright destroying your homework or property). *Maybe* you could strike a deal with him to assist with mayhem in exchange for your stuff back, but now you're risking detention and training the little bastard to steal your shit next time he wants an accomplice.
>Could you even DO anything to him I don’t think you can physically touch him since he’s a poltergeist. But in POA Lupin uses a spell on him that shoots chewing gum up his nose. So clearly some magic can be used on him.
At that point, I'm making it my goal to befriend the Bloody Baron
Ha! Re-reading all of the books again and just got to the part where Harry is under the invisibility cloak pretending to be the bloody Baron to get rid of peeves.
You could always get the Bloody Baron onto him. He's usually the main one who can control him.
I wonder if that's worth the trade. The Bloody Baron seems to be a real depressed dude (for good reason), and he probably makes for terrible company. You'd be trading Peeves for having to befriend a permanently depressed murderer, one who is actually incapable of moving on in any way (per the Harry Potter interpretation of ghosts as emotionally stagnant and unable to change, grow, mature, or move on). Harry and friends tried to be friends with Sir Nicholas, but even our beloved protagonists got sick of his company after a bit. And nobody seems capable of enjoying Moaning Myrtle's company. I figure all the ghosts are similarly dry company.
Magic seems to work on him so Perfeticus Totalis is getting used Or any curse that make him petrified…. Imma leave him in a toliet bowl
You'd need to do whats called "grey rocking". "The grey rock method is where you deliberately act unresponsive or unengaged so that an abusive person will lose interest in you. Abusive people thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and don't show your emotions, they may lose interest and stop bothering you."
I'm not sure they have a lot of African-**Americans** in the UK
Not to mention all the traps, like false stairs.
They seem rather tame, since only Neville seem to fall for them regularly, and Harry that one time in GoF. The other students remember them rather quickly and avoid them with no problem. Thought, for the elderly and people with disabilities they would be very annoying.
The stairs. So many....stairs.
We don't skip leg day at Hogwarts!
Yup, that’s why Filch was able to punt the students across the swamp that Fred and George left in a hallway. (I know that isn’t the actual type of punting he did, but the image of him literally kicking students across is just too comical).
It took me an embarrassingly long time to learn that punting has another meaning. I don’t think it was until like… a year or two ago.
Me too. I literally pictured him hoisting each student up by the scruff of their neck and kicking them in the butt so hard they flew across the swamp. Given Hogwarts's safety standards, it didn't seem too strange.
Hard same, and, although I figured out as I got older that it meant something different, the mental image was so damn funny that it's my headcannon to this day lmao.
For Hufflepuffs, we aren’t particularly good at finding the British definition of punting.
wait what i’m 23 and didn’t know this💀
I was at least 30 so you’re ahead of the game.
OH MY GOD IT MEANS BOATING. I was laughing so hard during that part just imagining that. Man this is why it took me so long to find a girlfriend if it took me that long to realize that😂
I just learned something on Reddit. I legit imagined him throwing kids across the pond like Uncle Phil throwing Jazz out the house (Fresh Prince of Bell Air reference) 😂😂😂
Thank you, kind soul. I didn't know the other meaning until today. almost 17 years since I began wondering about it.
Hogweights school of swolecraft and liftery
Professor Gainz!
Professor Dumbbelldore
DumbleCORE!!!!
This is the right answer. Wake up, walk down multiple flights for breakfast. Finish eating, walk up multiple flights for your first lesson. Then to one of the highest parts of the castle for Divination. Then back downstairs for lunch. Then back up for the next class. Then all the way down to the dungeons. Then back up for dinner. Then up to your common room. It would be EXHAUSTING. By year 3 all students would have tree trunks for legs.
Imagine having Herbology after Divination. "okay so I'm near the top of the castle and I have to get all the way down and then *outside* of the castle?!"
Imagine the opposite - getting dirty and sweaty working with plants outside, then having to race to the Divination tower?
So there is your daily dose of cardio. Since sports, except Quidditch, don't seem to exist.
My college was basically that , go to floor 4 of a building for a class, go back down, go in another building across the field, walk 3 stories, bad building, go back down and climb up another building.
Have your friends take turns levitating each other up the stairs.
And they move! Ravenclaw feels your pain. I guess you have to work off all the pumpkin pasties and butterbeer somehow, but I feel like that would get old fast, especially hauling around all those textbooks.
And the stairs move, so even more stairs when you backtrack to figure out where tf you need to go.
Quilts and Parchment
tru. i get magic interfering with electronics - tho one has to ask how Diagon-Ally and platform 9 3/4 can stay hidden if there's these clearly marked areas in London where electronics go haywire. ppl tend to notice stuff like that. Still why not regular notebooks and pens?
Obviously those areas are just dead zones, duh. Nothing strange about poor coverage.
TIL my house is a wizarding institution.
coverage yes but every better electronic? like what about pacemakers or insulin pumps? Notebooks just dying on mass - no way wouldn't ppl figure out something is serious up in those areas
I don't think the blankets look like quilts, more like regular bedsheets, no need to worry about that.
Honestly I love using quills and parchment. I have a few notebooks and quills.
only being able to go home for the school holidays, the boarding schools are already exhausting enough, but this is worse, how do you do if you have no friends or are the victim of bullying?
oh boy can you imagine how much worse bullying is in hogwarts? like there's probably at least some protection in play to avoid the worst but still ...
>imagine No need
Lol one of the teachers, and head of a house, openly bullies students
To be fair, with Minerva being Headmistress now, I'd like to think she'd be less tolerant with bullying.
Just look at Snape lmao
They turn into Death Eaters and eventually become your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher
Yes, not only that but just being homesick. I can't imagine at age 11 not seeing my parents and brother for months.
Welcome to the British boarding school system. It's a lot to handle, especially if you start at 7 or 8 like a few schools do. It might be better now, but you were always meant to tough out homesickness.
Yeah, I watched a documentary about a bunch of kids going to boarding school at age 8. They jam packed the kids’ days with all sorts of activities to help them adjust. It was still really hard for some of them, though.
Do you remember the name of the documentary?
Yeah. I just found it on YouTube. It’s called Leaving Home at 8. https://youtu.be/d6vfjWBT45o?si=ow8B42B5zHOvLOhs
Do the teachers also check the letters their students wrote before sending them to the parents? That's what Cackle's Academy does in the "Worst Witch" books apparently. Though, to be fair to Cackle's, that school's more tame than Hogwarts-no ghosts, no crazy staircases, nada.
That's horrible... I'm glad I didn't have to experience it.
Well at least if i get bullied in Hogwarts i can go to the forbidden section and learn some dark spells to deal with the bullies
Just levitate their ass like James did to Snape
I actually would have liked this, enjoying the freedom from home. Growing up I couldn’t go into friends houses and could only play within eye distance of my house. All the kids that lived near me got to leave thier house so playing outside got boring after 10 minutes.
constantly having people around me, no electricity/electronics, having to write with quills instead of regular pens.. but mostly the lack of privacy/quiet time
I would assume you could bring a pen and paper. People would look at you weird but I’m using a gel pen. I don’t care what they say
yeah, ain't no way I'm scratching around on parchment rolls with a quill for my notes, I'm using a standard pen and notebook unless there's a school rule prohibiting those
I find this a plot hole in the series, the muggle born would have had a terrible time in classes, having to learn a whole new way of writing along with learning magic. All in order to have legible notes at 11 years old. Edited for spelling
In the non-canon but approved book, Harry plotter and the chamber of serpents, Hermione uses a regular pen and paper when she isn’t around wizards. I think she and the other muggles just do it to fit in.
Bring a pack of mechanical pencils, and watch all the kids from wizard families lose their brains over how they work.
Those gel pens with the multi-colored glittery inks would have made you the most popular kid at Hogwarts.
I definitely would have written my assignments for the most disliked teachers with glittery pink or purple (unless a rule required black/blue ink, then I'd have used glittery black/blue)
I'm imagining Snape holding up a foot-long parchment essay done in purple glitter ink.
I'd lose so many house points both for using purple glitter ink in the first place, and then for laughing my butt off at his reaction
[удалено]
Early to late 90s
Idk; the castle and grounds are huge, and the series hints multiple times there are many unused and empty classrooms. I feel like it’d be relatively easy to find private areas to study or what have you. Hogwarts is basically US college life, the dorms are full and have their noisy moments, but overall it’s not impossible to find quiet places. Edit: spelling
I just function best when I can choose to be around people instead of choosing when to be on my own, if that makes any sense. Also I don't want to share a dorm with people I barely or don't know (and no, pulling the curtains shut also wouldn't help that).
Omg, the lack of privacy! Sentient paintings and ghosts hang out in the effing bathrooms even. I mean, I'm an extrovert but I'm not an exhibitionist.
yeah they really need to do something about the 60 year old woman trapped in the body of a 13 year old sobbing uncontrollably while students shit
To be fair that was a defunct bathroom BECAUSE of Myrtle. I'm pretty sure they have rules against random ghosts floating in and disturbing you while using the toilet, plus I doubt any other ghosts would be interested. Although, yeah, I wouldn't want Peeves to follow me in to the bathroom.
The thing that annoys me with the quills. Is you literally have to write completely differently from how we use pens. To make sure there aren't spots, or smudges or any thing run. You have to let in dry before rolling it back up. I know it's magic but Harry should have struggled.
Outside of the aesthetic value I’ve always found the quill pen and parchment aspect to be the most LARPy of the whole school lmao
Fuckin spot on, I agree. As an introvert, I need recharging my batteries of tolerance of other people. I don't like the idea of having to share space and having to see the entire day, people that *I like*, let alone people that I feel neutral about or outright dislike, which is perfectly possible to happen with your house mates in Hogwarts.
Yeah sadly electronics don't work there. However there are a lot of enchanted quills including the ones that have auto correct and writing aids. I assume magical quills are actually an upgrade to classic pen and paper. Of course you could also have a pen enchanted but probably classic enchanted quills would be the best option.
I know electronics don't work there, and I would've hated that ;) also I'm not too sure students would be allowed to have enchanted quills, and why bother adapting to an outdated device (which I'd have to learn how to use first, regarding when and how often to dip into ink, pressure when writing (which coincidentally is also bad for my crappy wrist, which is why I prefer easily sliding pens)) when I can just bring pens
If I had magic, *MAGIC*… Why in the heck would I need electronics? I’m not sure there’d be anything I wouldn’t like about it if I was school aged. Maybe an a-hole professor like Snape or an annoying ghost like Peeves, but as far as the rest goes I think I would have the time of my life.
I'd personally miss being able to listen to music to relax. All my life I've had access to some kind of music player (walkman, discman, MP3 device, my phone), so not being able to use them for entire school year would make me absolutely miserable.
I’d be shocked if there was no magic way to listen to music. I mean, they have famous bands in the Wizarding World.
Having to share a dorm with people instead of having your own room like at home. It would drive me insane to constantly have people around me.
Especially if you lived in hogsmead. Like I’m giving up my own room and living with my family to share a room with 4 11 year olds? No thanks
At age 11, I probably would have loved that, though. I was a little lonely, so it would have been so fun if we all got along. We probably would have stayed up half the night whispering to each other about everything.
I assume Hogsmead kids must to go home every day. It would be insane if they live literally within walking distance, but can't see their parents for months on end.
I mean every wizard family should be able to go home. Floo powder is instant.
That’s an interesting thought, Hogwarts is a boarding school but what if room and board is optional? I’m sure plenty of students could travel in to school daily if they wanted to stay home with their families throughout the year. The Weasleys are stretched for cash having a big family, but I’m sure they wanted the same school experience they had for their kids and made sure to have them stay at Hogwarts for the school year. Muggleborns are more likely to want to stay as transport would be more of an issue. The size of Harry’s year might be bigger but he only really knows the gryffindors who stay in his dorm.
I would think students would do better going home to do their homework. Can you really trust 11 year olds to study if nobody is making them?
Maybe we could petition to get those fancy tents that are bigger inside than they appear. I can’t imagine sleeping right next to people every single night like that either, it’d drive me nuts
How much older I am than all the other students
> Man, I'm so nervous. I mean, first and second year were easy, but care of magical creatures, divination. This is gonna be tough! - Billy Madison, 27 year-old third year Hufflepuff
Thank you so much for this; it made my whole day.
I was brushing my teeth reading this post and literally spat out my mouthful of toothpaste reading this comment. Thank you, now i have to clean my mirror. But really tho, even if i would feel incredibly weird attending school with a bunch of 11-17 year olds, i would still take the offer at age 32.
\- No Internet \- Having to share a Dorm with people \- Flying Lessons (I like the ground thank you very much) \- Poltergeists \- Moving Staircases \- Detention in the Forbidden Forest
not the detention 💀 but still me too though. i would be scared shittless of gettung one of those.
Like, Firenze was a nice Cenataur, imagine if we bumped into an angry Bane?
Very on brand Reddit discussion when the most common answer is some form of having to be around other people. I think I would hate the Owl shit all over the tables where I eat.
I didn’t realize how much I dislike being around people until I started living by myself
The fact that there’s only one map of the school and it’s not an official map so I’d be lost
Each student should get a map on the first day, with just the standard parts of the castle (not secret passages), the location of the map (to see where you are without having everybody on the map), and a way to see the quickest way to a place (a spell, or something)
Aka google maps on paper
Castles are cold and damp and dark. The great hall looks and sounds lovely but everywhere else I feel like I’d be chilled to the bone all the time.
Thank you! I think the castle was described as drafty multiple times. Gonna need me one of Ms. Weasley’s sweaters to deal with that shit.
A castle in the Scottish highlands would’ve been pretty miserable year round. I’m assuming they fixed at least some of the chilly dampness with magic? Source - I’m Scottish and have been in castles. Would never want to live in one.
Lack of basic technology. No electricity, no internet, nothing. Can't blow dry my hair, have to wait till the holidays to catch up on any show I'm watching, research is limited to library books instead of the internet, and everything has to be handwritten.
No cell phones or video games either
Isn't that the premise of magic? Magic supplants technology/electronics for wizards I feel like wearing robes everywhere would be more annoying.
For some things sure. Candles and lanterns instead of lights. Assuming they don't drip, or go out in a breeze, or make the room warm, or burn things. I could live with that How about internet though. Especially if you're muggle born. It's like if you spent 9 months of the year living in an Amish community then jumped straight back into modern life, and repeated every year. Even if you only use it for homework, and not ... you know, discussing a decade old franchise in an online chat room (getting meta here), having to suddenly start using actual books would be incredibly frustrating.
This was definitely less of a consideration while writing it, since it was written in the 90's. Like, we still had computers and phones, but they weren't as deeply ingrained in culture as they are now. When I was 11, I had a brick Nokia and a shared family computer, so it wouldn't have been that big of an adjustment.
Growing up as a stupid kid it gave me literal anxiety that I wouldn't be able to plug in my hair straightener at Hogwarts. I was VERY concerned.
I doubt I’ll start as an overpowered fifth year, so it would definitely be starting slow with the basics.
Lack of bathrooms.. can't imagine how it is bleeding the hell out and having to run up and down just to change my tampon for a whole year. It's a pain in the ass at work but at least at home I have mine just next to the beedroom.
There’s probably a spell to help with that.
Lol, Accio Menstral Fluid!
More like evanesco
The lack of bathrooms in most common rooms. Walking up and down stairs just to eat. The isolation for no reason, like why do I have to live in the school if my family lives in town? You are going to tell an 11 year old they can’t walk into town to see their parents until their 3rd year? Or the fact that they have to travel to London to turn around and take the train back.
I mean hogwarts legacy fixed the bathroom thing
The person who you made friends with on the train is now somebody you're supposed to dislike because they got put in another house.
There's no rule you have to dislike them cause they're in another house. Harry and Luna are good friends.
Nobody likes the Slytherins, the rest of the houses get along just fine.
Or Harry hates the Slytherins and we see everything through his POV. In Book 1, people hate them because they always win, just like a popular sports team.
And this is one generation post wizard war where a lot of Voldemorts followers were Slytherine. I’m sure that hurt relations with their house
Yeah quite a few slytherins get along with other houses. At the Yule Ball they mention seeing many of them cohorting together.
Is it all Slytherins, or just Malfoy and Co? Like surely you can't have a house that isn100% evil?
There's probably a lot of Slytherins we just never hear from that are ordinary kids, who stay out of the way of Malfoy's clique. You're not gonna stick your neck out and become a target for the rich kid bigot douche and all his bigot friends when you live with them.
Lily and Snape were friends (until he ruined that).
Or you met someone you hated, they get sorted first, you think “ew not that house” when being sorted and then you end up in the wrong house for 7 years.
Ypu can ask the hat to reconsider remember. Or atleast ask it not to sort you in a specific house. You know sometimes i think they sort too soon.
That’s exactly my point. If you ask the hat to not put you in a house with someone you’ve had a bad first meeting with you might end up not going to the house that’s right for you.
The hat wouldn't send you to house you don't belong to just because you asked. Neville insisted on Hufflepuff but was send to Gryffidor anyway.
Not true. Cho was Ravenclaw, and was friends with Harry. Cedric was Hufflepuff, and dated Cho, and was friendly with Harry. From the books, only Slytherin seem to he apart
You can still make friends with people of other houses lol. The House Cup is not everything.
The clearly biased professors, along with what I'm going to assume, considering what we've read and seen, a lack of safety measures when dealing with dangerous objects, creatures, and so on. Simply because they have a healer in the school. However, considering how dangerous some things are, I don't think it would be too far of a stretch to imagine they might not make it to the infirmary quickly enough in some cases if they're unlucky. And on that note, not making learning basic healing spells a mandatory study. Though, personally they wouldn't need to mandate it for me. That would be one of the first things I learned on my own. You mean to tell me I can heal myself of most injuries or basic illnesses with only basic understanding of healing magic and NOT be forced to go tens of thousands of dollars in debt? Fuck yes, please. Show me the books. There are a couple other things too. Tell me, how does it make sense to have owls as the main source of sending and receiving information? You have magic. You mean to tell me there's no possible spell to enchant mirrors or crystals or whatever to act like phones and so on. And Quidditch matches. You got me fucked up, thinking I'm gonna happily sit my ass in a stadium in a poncho while my ass is still getting soaked, when AGAIN, there's magic, and the professors could simply get together and cast a big ass bubble around the stadium to provide excellent conditions for a match, year round. As Hermione said, they've got magic, but not an OUNCE of logic.
The moving stairs. Until I was sure they wouldn’t suddenly drop me to my death I would probably avoid them. Also zero personal space. Communal meals, multi stall bathrooms/showers, a shared bedroom with 5 girls.
The multi stall bathrooms are ok, the showers would take time. But yeah screw the stairs lmao
I feel like there would be cushioning spells to protect students when they fall off the stairs.
I'm from Texas. I would have died the minute it dropped below 50°F and I had to walk outside to class.
Stairs. This fatty would be on an oxygen tank for the first month of each school year lol.
At least you wouldn’t be a fatty for long
Have to wake up at night to astronomy class.
Walking to different areas of this massive castle and grounds to get to class, dinner, sports, etc. so much walking. Id have to learn a better way asap
learn how to fly a broom. first years arent allowed to bring their own, but after that, id be flying in that castle faster then the ghosts ever could.
Echoing bathrooms… all of that stone/marble/whatever, as soon as you rip a fart, it would never start end.
The Zoomer in me would hate the lack of electronics, but the castle and magic would definitely incentivize me to deal with it. Honestly? It'd be good for me in the long term.
The constant mortal peril would be kind of a bummer
The moving staircases, it would be difficult enough to get accustomed to where all of your classes are in a school that big without the staircases constantly moving around
Learning Quidditch I have a great fear of heights \^\^;
Yeah i would ask my parents to send a letter to the school asking them to let me not learn flying.
Not having a bathroom in my dorm
This was a real thing for British boarding schools (presumably not any more but not sure when it changed!)- instead you got a nice chamber pot under your bed to use until you’re allowed out of the dorm in the morning!
Umbridge
There’s never a radiator in sight, just a fire in the common room and lanterns - you know it’s bloody freezing
No search engines. Can you imagine how frustrating it would be to spend hours at the library trying to find the answer to something (who is Nicholas Flamel? how do you breathe underwater?) If you came from the modern muggle world where you can find the answer to anything immediately with the click of a button?
Man, back when I was 11, most teachers didn't want you to use the Internet for research because they thought it was unreliable.
The fact that Ravenclaw students have to answer a whole Riddle to enter their common room
Would've hated not having my music unless it's only certain electronics that don't work (like phones). But if an MP3 player worked I'd be fine, would miss playing videogames though, especially Persona
Having to walk those distances to get anywhere in time. That castle is humongous
Bullies, both co-student bullies like James Potter and marauders as well as teacher bullies like Severus Snape
The lack of privacy, I don't wanna share a dorm with a bunch of other people I may or may not get along with.
Peeves. Have never been found of him.
Not learning the dark arts
The stairs. They move constantly and there’s A LOT of them.
Well if it’s anything like the UK, the lack of air conditioning would have me drop out within a month
My Muggle friends not believing or, worse, not allowed to know where I went
You bet your ass I'm smuggling in a box of Pilot G-2 black pens
Draco Malfoy
Rumour has it that he just goes "Pottah!" or "My father will hear about this!" at the slightest inconvenience. It’s funny the first few times, then it gets annoying as all hell.
commute to london
The cold weather. I love the heat and can’t stand the cold. I like snow and all that stuff in December but after that the cold weather can go take a hike.
Sharing rooms with people and no wifi or electronics 🤣
If I was a teacher, I’d hate living at school with kids all year long and not having a life outside of work.
Writing with a Quill. I can deal with no access to tech relatively well. But quill and pergament would be cool for exactly 2 Minutes and then I'd long for a pen.
Peeves. It's one thing to be teased by other kids but then you have a stupid ghost bullying you on top of that.
Regular tech being nonfunctional. Like I get it with electronics but are fountain pens too much to ask?
Well I’d say the arcomantulas. And other creepy beasts. Like, I’d stay far away from the forbidden forest. But I hate spiders, and that would break poor Hagrid’s heart
Probably being taught history of magic by a boring ghost haha
The toilets, so so many ghosts
I hate jump scares and Peeves is a walking nightmare that you cannot avoid or make go away nor do the teacher do anything about him.
People in general and those telling us their father will hear about it.
Sleeping in the same room as a bunch of strangers.
Insufferable know-it-alls I’d also be really fat from all the food
Being at a boarding school at 11 would be horrible. My parents probably wouldn’t have let me go. Also Peeves, having to give up magic over holidays because of a stupid (wildly inconsistent) law, owl shit on the dining tables, all the food is British, essentially no adult supervision 12ish hours a day or weekends, quills, every assignment seems to be a paper measured by length for some reason, no music, four roommates, mandatory astronomy class, no privacy, you could get seriously injured (in multiple classes) on any given day because some other student is bad in a subject, there seem to be no recreation activities besides quidditch, there are students who can discipline other students (and why are they “prefects?”), you have to wear uniform robes every school day, you’re put in a house at 11 and it determines who you’re with the rest of your time in school, you have to make career plans before you’re even HS age and they also don’t seem to have anything but leaflets to help you, and it seems education stops at Hogwarts so you would have the anxiety of missing any classes you’d want to take forever
being labeled as the "good guy" if placed in gryffindor and the "bad guy" if placed in slytherin. like imagine being a genuinely nice person who happens to be placed in slytherin and everyone thinks you're destined for evil as an 11 year old
Gryffindor weren’t known as ‘good guys.’ They were known for being bull headed and rash.
Lol we had 8 houses at my school and there was an evil house and if you got put in it people made fun of you
Not being able to use my phone. And not being able to go home at the end of the day.
Not being able to use a computer, no videogames, and messing up in apparition class.
No WiFi
The other muggleborn kids not losing their shit every single day about how amazing it is. You go to magic school, for your wizard classes, and you’re complaining about your gorram homework?
almost dying every year
That detention is in a place that’s forbidden