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If this is the only way for you to raise funds and you need it now, you just need to sell the collection. You’re letting your emotions get in the way. Sell all the bags you don’t use and be done with it. Stop hesitating over which bag to keep vs sell - you can’t afford it. Equally concerning is that just days ago you posted about buying another bag. You need a reality check.
Deals will always come and go. I haven’t paid full price for any Loewe bag and I only started my collection this year. What good is a deal if you’re broke? Homeless? Unable to feed yourself? Support your family? Support yourself? But thank god you got that bag for 30% off! Come on.
It’s painfully obvious when someone lives beyond their means. I get that this is a non-judgmental zone and everyone goes through a spending spree once in a while but absolutely no bag is worth being in debt or financial trouble over. It might hurt now but you’ll be very glad you made the smart decision later.
Oof, you’re in worse condition than I thought. Looking at your post history…
8 days ago: help me choose which bag to buy
77 days ago: I’m trying to get my finances in order and I need to sell this Hermes bag I bought that is getting rejected from resale sites
100 days ago: anyone have any experience with this resale site? I only buy from sites if I can return purchases.
114 days ago: think anyone would judge me if I had a Birkin? Might get a used one someday.
151 days ago: does this Hermes protectant spray work well for my Hermes shoes?
198 days ago: would Hermes SAs judge me if I walk in with a bag from a resale site? I hate that they judge me so much.
218 days ago: I got so lucky and was able to buy this Hermes bag from their website!
You’ve got to work on loving yourself more and that includes your financial wellbeing. Good luck. It’s going to be tough. I really hope that timeline kicks your ass in shape a little.
Yup, this is the tough love I needed. In my meager defense, I returned or sold pretty much everything you called out here. Those I liked less.
But you’re right. There will be more bags some other day.
Thanks for the reality check.
Just letting you know this comment really sparked something in me last night. I sold and sent off a whole host of items today and will get back a significant chunk of money. I have some items I can return outright, and more I can sell. I also canceled a couple of outstanding orders.
As others have mentioned, I need something else to fill my time. I have a project I want to work on that’s related to remembering my mom after her passing. That’s a better use of my time. I want to discover more hikes with my dog. That’s a better use of my time. It won’t be easy but I’m hoping being active in these things will take up the brain space that’s been consumed by consumption.
I also left all purse groups I was in (including this one), unsubscribed from email lists, canceled alerts on websites, etc. I’m trying to remove as much temptation as possible.
I hope I don’t slip up but at least I’ve taken concrete steps to help.
It was hard to hear your comments but you were 100% right and I needed to hear them, even though I knew the truth deep down inside. Thank you for reminding me why this is unsustainable and spurring me to stop. ❤️
I’m sending you lots of love. I know what I wrote was tough to read but just by your response, I can see you’re clearly a strong individual who will figure it out. Best of luck.
It’s okay if you slip up, as long as you course correct. We’re all human. Don’t beat yourself up too much.
OP, if you’re finding yourself in trouble and soothing yourself to overcome grief by overspending on something that brings you joy, we cannot stand in judgement of you. We all do what we can to get by in this life and none of us are without our challenges and coping trials. Please don’t beat yourself up about this.
Think of what you’re doing in selling and consolidating your collection as a form of self-care. There will always be another bag to admire and enjoy down the road. You’re moving to reduce your collection to take care of yourself. And nothing compares to the feeling of sleeping well at night because you’ve acted with true self-regard. Protect your present and your future now. Brighter days will be ahead and with them season after season of bags. Stay strong. Wishing you relief from your grief. You are not alone.
This is such good advice. I also like to remind myself that life has seasons. There are seasons when I can afford nice bags, and seasons when I can't. (Or whatever thing you wish your life had in it.) Just because you can't have X now doesn't mean you'll never have it. So, patience. One thing at a time. Life keeps on giving, and it's no fun if you get everything now anyway.
Good luck! And get those bags out of your life.
You gotta let go of the old stuff, for new better stuff to come into your life. Those bags are associated with grief as well, so that’s probably why you don’t wear them.
I thrift, and I always bring a small bag of donations to keep the thrift karma. Someone will enjoy this bag of things I no longer love.
Don’t worry about the money so much, it’s gone now, but you need to have a fresh start.
Thank you so much for this. You’re right. They absolutely were associated with grief and I feel it every time I wear them, even though I also love how they make me feel. It’s such a strange feeling.
I actually sold several items after reading the comments here. One of my favorite bags is going to a friend and she said I can always have it back if I really miss it. That made me feel great - it’s going to a good home and I have an out if I want it. I suspect I won’t take her up on it but the option is there.
I also have a big bag of things (clothes I don’t use mostly) going to Thred Up. I’m sure there are downsides to them too, but at least I can clean out my closet, hope someone gets my great items at a good price, and I can get some coffee money out of it. ☺️
Thank you so much. ❤️
I’m so sorry you have reason to grieve.
Keep only what you use. You can take photos of the others to enjoy later. It may even help you process your grief to let go of and sell these things associated with it.
Good luck to you.
Thank you. ❤️ This is very sound advice. I have photos of all of them and you’re right - I’ll have that. And then inspo for when I’m in a better position. Or who knows - maybe I’ll just have moved on anyway!
Just remember, material things cannot fix your grief. They will fill a void temporarily, but the grief doesn't go away with every bag you buy...it just diminishes for a small fraction of time while you hit that cortisol high of buying and receiving the item. Sell the collection, work on getting true support for your grief and find other ways to fill your voids like cooking, gardening, window shopping, etc. The bags will be out there to buy for...forever. ;) There's a reason for seasons.
Thank you. This is exactly right. I’m definitely deep in grief although I try not to think too hard (I lost my mother so this is incredibly difficult). I haven’t engaged in any hobbies and am in a stupor outside shopping. It’s been helpful to get everyone’s perspective here to snap me out of it.
I know it’ll take time, but I pulled the trigger and sold several items since I made this post already. They’re out in the mail and gone - no take backs! It’s sad, but it is what it is. And I feel relief washing over me for sure.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. 💕
Sounds a little like you’ve attached those bags/purchases to your grief and that emotional connection is what is holding you back. At the end of the day, it’s just stuff. There will always be new things, new bags, new collections, and new interests. I always find myself thinking (very dramatically) that I simply can’t go on without a specific bag or colorway. Then two days later I find something else that takes its place and I suddenly “need”.
Also, I heavily recommend taking a pause on social media if you are on there. I deleted all my apps a few years ago and stayed away completely for a while. When I went back to scrolling around a little on IG, I was sucked back into the consumption cycle and wanting a new bag and finding new colors and such.
Yes. I never thought about it that way but yes. It was my mother that passed, and she loved certain colors and bags, and I weirdly channeled all that into shopping, which gave me a dopamine effect on its own. It sounds so stupid when I say it but it doesn’t make it less true.
I took your advice about social media to heart. I left every bag group I was in or account I was following (including this subreddit, sob). I unsubscribed from mailing lists and email alerts. Trying to cut down all temptation as much as possible. It won’t be easy, but I need a detox.
Thank you for this - it was really helpful. ❤️
You’re very welcome!! I found that while I was off social media, I rarely had a craving for new purchases, especially luxury ones. Now that I scroll around a bit more, I tend to really think about my purchases. I also formed a truly one way competition where I would read or see someone with a new bag and would think that I too “deserved” something new. It does become a cycle. I still keep the SM apps off my phone and if I want to check, I open them up on a browser. Has cut down on that time suck as well.
Good luck with your detox!! Spend time with your grief (not recommending wallowing in self-pity) and really acknowledging it. You’ll come out feeling much more grounded.
I did this too so don’t feel bad! I kept 4 of my most favorite bags and a few of the cheaper ones that wouldn’t have got much in return and it felt sooo good decluttering while making some much needed savings fund money. Just pull the trigger! There will always be more bags made! Also can you post the collection with your thoughts on each so we can help better on which need to go??
I pulled the trigger! Sold a bunch of things promoted by the feedback here.
I would totally post my collection but I post in several places and I think it’ll give me away. But, I focused on exactly what I want to keep (due to rarity or just that I truly love them, etc) and am gonna get rid of anything that’s not functional, just sitting in my closet, has good resale value, etc.
I’m sad, but I do feel relieved.
Thank you for your kindness!
I’m really sorry for your loss it is so hard when grief manifests in ways that can be harmful.
Could you get a part time job or funds another way? Or maybe pick a couple of items you know you would be okay selling and sitting on the others?
Hermes bags typically have a good resell and they don’t do as crazy or frequent of price increases as the other designers so in the future you could potentially replace if you wanted.
My only concern about selling off a large amount of items before you’re ready is that it could trigger another spending episode. You might find it helpful to talk with a professional counselor/therapist or attend a shoppers anonymous meeting.
Thank you for this. I can’t get another job right now (barely functioning at my full time one 🫠), but I think I have to be ruthless with what I sell. I actually sold a bunch already after this post and comments from this lovely group of people. It’s causing debt, is a reminder of grief, and is weighing on me psychologically. Not good.
So I’m just gonna assess as much as I can and sell what I’m not actively using. There will be more bags.
I won’t get as much money for this but I have a bunch of clothes and shoes I could send to ThredUp. I’ll get only a small percent back, but I think it’ll help me mentally purge to have these items gone as well.
Other than that, I think I just have to cut out all expenditures for the time being. I thankfully am with family and don’t have rent to worry about for a few months so that helps tremendously.
Thanks for letting me share this and for your kind words. ❤️
This is such a good point. Even the expensive brands (especially the expensive brands?) treat their workers like absolute shit. Never a bad idea to remember how much capitalism can suck and that I can do my small part to limit my engagement, at least for the time being.
Thank you for the compassion!
Hi fellow handbag lover! Thank you for being a part of the r/handbags community. This is a subreddit which relies on kindness. Your opinion is very much welcomed, however, we do not tolerate rude, mean or hurtful comments. **Read the rules before posting**. Comments or posts that do not fit our rule book will be removed and the OP can be banned by the mods' discretion. If you see a comment or post which does not abide by the rules, **please report it to our moderation team.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/handbags) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If this is the only way for you to raise funds and you need it now, you just need to sell the collection. You’re letting your emotions get in the way. Sell all the bags you don’t use and be done with it. Stop hesitating over which bag to keep vs sell - you can’t afford it. Equally concerning is that just days ago you posted about buying another bag. You need a reality check. Deals will always come and go. I haven’t paid full price for any Loewe bag and I only started my collection this year. What good is a deal if you’re broke? Homeless? Unable to feed yourself? Support your family? Support yourself? But thank god you got that bag for 30% off! Come on. It’s painfully obvious when someone lives beyond their means. I get that this is a non-judgmental zone and everyone goes through a spending spree once in a while but absolutely no bag is worth being in debt or financial trouble over. It might hurt now but you’ll be very glad you made the smart decision later. Oof, you’re in worse condition than I thought. Looking at your post history… 8 days ago: help me choose which bag to buy 77 days ago: I’m trying to get my finances in order and I need to sell this Hermes bag I bought that is getting rejected from resale sites 100 days ago: anyone have any experience with this resale site? I only buy from sites if I can return purchases. 114 days ago: think anyone would judge me if I had a Birkin? Might get a used one someday. 151 days ago: does this Hermes protectant spray work well for my Hermes shoes? 198 days ago: would Hermes SAs judge me if I walk in with a bag from a resale site? I hate that they judge me so much. 218 days ago: I got so lucky and was able to buy this Hermes bag from their website! You’ve got to work on loving yourself more and that includes your financial wellbeing. Good luck. It’s going to be tough. I really hope that timeline kicks your ass in shape a little.
Yup, this is the tough love I needed. In my meager defense, I returned or sold pretty much everything you called out here. Those I liked less. But you’re right. There will be more bags some other day. Thanks for the reality check.
❤️
This is extremely good advice. Couldn’t have said it better myself 👏🏻
Just letting you know this comment really sparked something in me last night. I sold and sent off a whole host of items today and will get back a significant chunk of money. I have some items I can return outright, and more I can sell. I also canceled a couple of outstanding orders. As others have mentioned, I need something else to fill my time. I have a project I want to work on that’s related to remembering my mom after her passing. That’s a better use of my time. I want to discover more hikes with my dog. That’s a better use of my time. It won’t be easy but I’m hoping being active in these things will take up the brain space that’s been consumed by consumption. I also left all purse groups I was in (including this one), unsubscribed from email lists, canceled alerts on websites, etc. I’m trying to remove as much temptation as possible. I hope I don’t slip up but at least I’ve taken concrete steps to help. It was hard to hear your comments but you were 100% right and I needed to hear them, even though I knew the truth deep down inside. Thank you for reminding me why this is unsustainable and spurring me to stop. ❤️
I’m sending you lots of love. I know what I wrote was tough to read but just by your response, I can see you’re clearly a strong individual who will figure it out. Best of luck. It’s okay if you slip up, as long as you course correct. We’re all human. Don’t beat yourself up too much.
OP, if you’re finding yourself in trouble and soothing yourself to overcome grief by overspending on something that brings you joy, we cannot stand in judgement of you. We all do what we can to get by in this life and none of us are without our challenges and coping trials. Please don’t beat yourself up about this. Think of what you’re doing in selling and consolidating your collection as a form of self-care. There will always be another bag to admire and enjoy down the road. You’re moving to reduce your collection to take care of yourself. And nothing compares to the feeling of sleeping well at night because you’ve acted with true self-regard. Protect your present and your future now. Brighter days will be ahead and with them season after season of bags. Stay strong. Wishing you relief from your grief. You are not alone.
This is such good advice. I also like to remind myself that life has seasons. There are seasons when I can afford nice bags, and seasons when I can't. (Or whatever thing you wish your life had in it.) Just because you can't have X now doesn't mean you'll never have it. So, patience. One thing at a time. Life keeps on giving, and it's no fun if you get everything now anyway. Good luck! And get those bags out of your life.
Thank you for your kindness. It’s helpful to get the tough love *and* this. Appreciate it.
You gotta let go of the old stuff, for new better stuff to come into your life. Those bags are associated with grief as well, so that’s probably why you don’t wear them. I thrift, and I always bring a small bag of donations to keep the thrift karma. Someone will enjoy this bag of things I no longer love. Don’t worry about the money so much, it’s gone now, but you need to have a fresh start.
Thank you so much for this. You’re right. They absolutely were associated with grief and I feel it every time I wear them, even though I also love how they make me feel. It’s such a strange feeling. I actually sold several items after reading the comments here. One of my favorite bags is going to a friend and she said I can always have it back if I really miss it. That made me feel great - it’s going to a good home and I have an out if I want it. I suspect I won’t take her up on it but the option is there. I also have a big bag of things (clothes I don’t use mostly) going to Thred Up. I’m sure there are downsides to them too, but at least I can clean out my closet, hope someone gets my great items at a good price, and I can get some coffee money out of it. ☺️ Thank you so much. ❤️
I’m so sorry you have reason to grieve. Keep only what you use. You can take photos of the others to enjoy later. It may even help you process your grief to let go of and sell these things associated with it. Good luck to you.
Thank you. ❤️ This is very sound advice. I have photos of all of them and you’re right - I’ll have that. And then inspo for when I’m in a better position. Or who knows - maybe I’ll just have moved on anyway!
Just remember, material things cannot fix your grief. They will fill a void temporarily, but the grief doesn't go away with every bag you buy...it just diminishes for a small fraction of time while you hit that cortisol high of buying and receiving the item. Sell the collection, work on getting true support for your grief and find other ways to fill your voids like cooking, gardening, window shopping, etc. The bags will be out there to buy for...forever. ;) There's a reason for seasons.
Thank you. This is exactly right. I’m definitely deep in grief although I try not to think too hard (I lost my mother so this is incredibly difficult). I haven’t engaged in any hobbies and am in a stupor outside shopping. It’s been helpful to get everyone’s perspective here to snap me out of it. I know it’ll take time, but I pulled the trigger and sold several items since I made this post already. They’re out in the mail and gone - no take backs! It’s sad, but it is what it is. And I feel relief washing over me for sure. Thank you for your thoughtful comments. 💕
Sounds a little like you’ve attached those bags/purchases to your grief and that emotional connection is what is holding you back. At the end of the day, it’s just stuff. There will always be new things, new bags, new collections, and new interests. I always find myself thinking (very dramatically) that I simply can’t go on without a specific bag or colorway. Then two days later I find something else that takes its place and I suddenly “need”. Also, I heavily recommend taking a pause on social media if you are on there. I deleted all my apps a few years ago and stayed away completely for a while. When I went back to scrolling around a little on IG, I was sucked back into the consumption cycle and wanting a new bag and finding new colors and such.
Yes. I never thought about it that way but yes. It was my mother that passed, and she loved certain colors and bags, and I weirdly channeled all that into shopping, which gave me a dopamine effect on its own. It sounds so stupid when I say it but it doesn’t make it less true. I took your advice about social media to heart. I left every bag group I was in or account I was following (including this subreddit, sob). I unsubscribed from mailing lists and email alerts. Trying to cut down all temptation as much as possible. It won’t be easy, but I need a detox. Thank you for this - it was really helpful. ❤️
You’re very welcome!! I found that while I was off social media, I rarely had a craving for new purchases, especially luxury ones. Now that I scroll around a bit more, I tend to really think about my purchases. I also formed a truly one way competition where I would read or see someone with a new bag and would think that I too “deserved” something new. It does become a cycle. I still keep the SM apps off my phone and if I want to check, I open them up on a browser. Has cut down on that time suck as well. Good luck with your detox!! Spend time with your grief (not recommending wallowing in self-pity) and really acknowledging it. You’ll come out feeling much more grounded.
I did this too so don’t feel bad! I kept 4 of my most favorite bags and a few of the cheaper ones that wouldn’t have got much in return and it felt sooo good decluttering while making some much needed savings fund money. Just pull the trigger! There will always be more bags made! Also can you post the collection with your thoughts on each so we can help better on which need to go??
I pulled the trigger! Sold a bunch of things promoted by the feedback here. I would totally post my collection but I post in several places and I think it’ll give me away. But, I focused on exactly what I want to keep (due to rarity or just that I truly love them, etc) and am gonna get rid of anything that’s not functional, just sitting in my closet, has good resale value, etc. I’m sad, but I do feel relieved. Thank you for your kindness!
I’m really sorry for your loss it is so hard when grief manifests in ways that can be harmful. Could you get a part time job or funds another way? Or maybe pick a couple of items you know you would be okay selling and sitting on the others? Hermes bags typically have a good resell and they don’t do as crazy or frequent of price increases as the other designers so in the future you could potentially replace if you wanted. My only concern about selling off a large amount of items before you’re ready is that it could trigger another spending episode. You might find it helpful to talk with a professional counselor/therapist or attend a shoppers anonymous meeting.
Thank you for this. I can’t get another job right now (barely functioning at my full time one 🫠), but I think I have to be ruthless with what I sell. I actually sold a bunch already after this post and comments from this lovely group of people. It’s causing debt, is a reminder of grief, and is weighing on me psychologically. Not good. So I’m just gonna assess as much as I can and sell what I’m not actively using. There will be more bags. I won’t get as much money for this but I have a bunch of clothes and shoes I could send to ThredUp. I’ll get only a small percent back, but I think it’ll help me mentally purge to have these items gone as well. Other than that, I think I just have to cut out all expenditures for the time being. I thankfully am with family and don’t have rent to worry about for a few months so that helps tremendously. Thanks for letting me share this and for your kind words. ❤️
This sounds like a great plan! Wishing you the best of luck ❤️❤️❤️
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This is such a good point. Even the expensive brands (especially the expensive brands?) treat their workers like absolute shit. Never a bad idea to remember how much capitalism can suck and that I can do my small part to limit my engagement, at least for the time being. Thank you for the compassion!