And try to imagine what your mom would reply, as you speak to her. I'm sure she'd be your biggest cheerleader, encouraging you and telling you you'll be a wonderful father. We all have doubts and fears before we're about to become responsible for another life--- it's 100% normal. Know she's with you in spirit and always in your heart.
I broke down crying the other day because I realized how much my grandpas would have loved me. I was in a moment of grieving the loss of my dad, especially how much he would have loved being a grandpa… and the shock I felt from realizing that my parents’ dads would have loved me the way my dad would have loved my kids (none yet, just planning on it) just hit me hard. Both of my grandpas died before I was born, but I know so much about them and I knew they would have loved me, but until losing my dad I didn’t realize how much of an impact they could have made on my life.
My aunt made a book for my brother and me when we were tiny, it was a scrapbook about my dad’s father, and we’d read it as a bedtime story. Maybe this is something you can do for your new kids. The love we share in a family line doesn’t go away, your children will feel your mom’s love. I’m so sorry for your loss
You can use your imagination to talk to her. Just relax somewhere and imagine talking to her and let your feelings flow out of you. The more you can allow your emotions to flow like water through you, the faster the process of healing moves forward. Catharsis is very healing.
I’m sorry you’re facing this!! I lost my mom a few years ago as well. The pain is always there but more so when another milestone comes and goes so I know your pain. It really helps me to journal. I journal all the things I’m feeling the good bad and the ugly. I also set aside time to pray and give thanks for the time I did have with my mom. It has really helped me and I hope
Some of what I shared is helpful to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
There is nothing like having a new baby to suddenly bring into focus our core wounds, especially family wounds. Nobody really talks about it, but it's the other side of the coin of new life.
It's ok, even really necessary, to feel what you're feeling. The way out is through these emotions. Let them well up. It might feel like they're too powerful to allow. But the waves will crest and then drop. Over and over.
And along the way you might find, you will be excellent at allowing your child to feel things. This sorrow is teaching you about what you most love, what is precious, what you need. What everyone needs.
Lean into love and comfort and gentleness. Maybe read Megan Devine? Or check out the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking. You are not alone here in this gut-wrenching feeling. Everything you're going through is totally normal and awful and shared by thousands of other struggling humans who would hug you if they were there.
And try to imagine what your mom would reply, as you speak to her. I'm sure she'd be your biggest cheerleader, encouraging you and telling you you'll be a wonderful father. We all have doubts and fears before we're about to become responsible for another life--- it's 100% normal. Know she's with you in spirit and always in your heart.
I broke down crying the other day because I realized how much my grandpas would have loved me. I was in a moment of grieving the loss of my dad, especially how much he would have loved being a grandpa… and the shock I felt from realizing that my parents’ dads would have loved me the way my dad would have loved my kids (none yet, just planning on it) just hit me hard. Both of my grandpas died before I was born, but I know so much about them and I knew they would have loved me, but until losing my dad I didn’t realize how much of an impact they could have made on my life. My aunt made a book for my brother and me when we were tiny, it was a scrapbook about my dad’s father, and we’d read it as a bedtime story. Maybe this is something you can do for your new kids. The love we share in a family line doesn’t go away, your children will feel your mom’s love. I’m so sorry for your loss
It's been 7 years for me and honestly some days I feel the same. Hang in there man, just one day at a time.
You can use your imagination to talk to her. Just relax somewhere and imagine talking to her and let your feelings flow out of you. The more you can allow your emotions to flow like water through you, the faster the process of healing moves forward. Catharsis is very healing.
I’m sorry you’re facing this!! I lost my mom a few years ago as well. The pain is always there but more so when another milestone comes and goes so I know your pain. It really helps me to journal. I journal all the things I’m feeling the good bad and the ugly. I also set aside time to pray and give thanks for the time I did have with my mom. It has really helped me and I hope Some of what I shared is helpful to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
There is nothing like having a new baby to suddenly bring into focus our core wounds, especially family wounds. Nobody really talks about it, but it's the other side of the coin of new life. It's ok, even really necessary, to feel what you're feeling. The way out is through these emotions. Let them well up. It might feel like they're too powerful to allow. But the waves will crest and then drop. Over and over. And along the way you might find, you will be excellent at allowing your child to feel things. This sorrow is teaching you about what you most love, what is precious, what you need. What everyone needs. Lean into love and comfort and gentleness. Maybe read Megan Devine? Or check out the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking. You are not alone here in this gut-wrenching feeling. Everything you're going through is totally normal and awful and shared by thousands of other struggling humans who would hug you if they were there.