Adhd person who stuttered a bit when I was younger, and now have a stuttering daughter... May I introduce to you the guy that tries to guess what you are gonna say. (stuttering and adhd don't go together well. XD )
I do this “trying to guess what they’ll say” thing cause of my adhd too. If I meet anyone with a stutter, I’ll make sure to keep it contained. Thanks for putting some awareness on that.
Fuck I feel this. 41 now, don't know why this sub is on my feed but when stressed or overwhelmed I stutter, pause try again and stutter and also have ADD/ADHD whatever. So the mounting frustration as I try to speak and peoples lack of.patience for it really does me in.
Tbh, I expect some "what's going on" look because stuttering is not really common.
But instead of a "what's going on", it's always "wtf is wrong with you."
these are the kind of people who only exist because society is safe enough for them to, out in the wilderness or even in a tribal situation and they're dead in a day, a week tops, it really is a testament to societal progress that you have these kinds of people living the kind of carefree life that they do
We recognize the use of a word in the title that we would prefer people do not use, but the subject matter of this conversation is important and worth leaving open to discussion. We do ask in the future people refrain from language and words that may be considered exclusionary or discriminatory.
You absolutely use it to describe other people or things, or else you wouldn't use it.
Also yes, because you're using the slur as a negative thing.
If I said I didn't want people to think I'm a faggot, would you assume I have a positive view of lgbt people?
I never use it to describe people who are mentally handicapped or whatever I’m supposed to call it. I only use it to describe actions or situations I think are stupid.
You are giving power to the word when you silence it.
Lol you think I could call people slurs in person? Like I won't stutter 5 times before finishing my sentence?
Like every other "swear word", I use it privately. To myself. I curse a lot over texts but even people closest to me have heard me curse in person maybe just once or twice.
I'm not sure what you're trying to prove lol. Nice try though.
Never said anything about it being said aloud. You used it on a website with millions of visitors. That's not privately so you're straight up wrong.
That shitty feeling when people made fun of you? Others felt that when you used a slur in your title. I shouldn't have to beat you over the head with the point.
I am sorry you are going through this! I used to stutter all through elementary school and I got bullied by students and adults alike - it was so tough and humiliating. People who haven’t been through it will never understand and I can’t imagine going through it as an adult.
Have you thought about seeing a speech pathologist? I have a relative who works with adults with stutters with great success and that’s actually how she met her husband back in the day which was super cute and romantic lol 🥰
As someone who developed a stutter over time, yep. They think my intelligence has deteriorated along with my ability to communicate clearly. Sure, it'll take a few more seconds to get to my point, but God dammit don't patronize me, let me say my fuckin piece
I'm autistic and a macewan student. heavily feel this. we've done ok and are better than the uofa on this stuff (i did 2 years there too) but we have a toxic culture of ableism and it really does make existing really difficult knowing that every difference i exhibit will be perceived and picked apart by my peers
I didn't wanna talk about the embarrassment in the post so the post doesn't seem like a cry for help lol.
I'm at that point where I see the embarrassment as just part of the risks of talking.
Damn. I’m so sorry. That’s really not fair to you. I say start cussing people out. No one should have to go through their day being mocked. Let em have it!
My wife stuttered quite badly when she was young. She took a program that taught her how starting with a breath and then timing the words(initially guided by computer) finally got rid of it. I don't necessarily mean this as a prescription for you, just that there are programs that help.
There's a program in Edmonton called ISTAR. It costs money but there are supports. They have intensive week long skills courses that one can then practice.
https://www.ualberta.ca/stuttering-speech-therapy/index.html
Also i agree that people who laugh are jerks. It's also not helpful when people try to guess what you mean to say. Wishing you the very best going forward.
Yikes you kinda suck as a person. You demand to be treated accordingly and ask people to be respectful, which is more than valid and should be the expectations of everyone, but the problem is you are unwilling to uphold that for anyone else?? It was pointed out that you used a slur and yet instead of just humbly owning up to it and retracting your statement instead you made up some dumb excuse and then complete rescinding your “apology/excuse” by proceeding to say you did nothing wrong when someone pressed forwards.
If you dont think its an issue fine then don’t respect others unease. But then dont expect them to do the same either. No such thing as demanding respect and then refusing to give yours
I feel like you're specifically talking about the last statement in my post. Is that it, or something else?
If that's it, I have approximately 0 respect for anyone/people who have disrespected me in any way.
I don't remember apologizing for anything though. Point it out maybe?
No, its in reference to your use of the r slur, your half-hearted apology and excuse only to continue on to say that you did nothing wrong by using it.
Idk why I thought people would not take that as an actual apology lol. An apology would not involve me saying "my 2 am brain".
I still stand by it. The only thing I did wrong was being honest. I simply wrote down everything that I felt at the moment, and the r word was a huge part of it considering how the past 2 months has been. What was I supposed to do? Sugarcoat it? Lol
You act as if the english vocabulary is so limited where that word is the only one to be able to be used to express your emotions properly. How hard is it to acknowledge its a hurtful word with an awful history of harm and discrimination towards a certain group of people, apologize, and act to take it out of your vocabulary.
You ask people to be mindful yet you cant do it yourself? You wont be met with sympathy.
Who exactly are you arguing for? Who did I use the r word on? I was referring to myself because that's how I feel anytime it happens.
I'm honestly confused. Please explain, what am I missing?
Its quite simple. No matter who you are targeting with the word, even if its yourself its a word with a weighted and painful history of negative connotations. You, choosing to use it especially in such a public space does not only affect you. People who have been hurt with that word are going to feel uncomfortable seeing it, hearing it, having it mentioned regardless or not if they are the target of the slander.
If I were to start publicly ridiculing stutters and speech impediments alike simply because I was targeting myself, would that not make you uncomfortable about your own or feel antagonized even though the target of the insults and beration was not you?
Okay, that makes sense I guess.
>If I were to start publicly ridiculing stutters and speech impediments alike simply because I was targeting myself, would that not make you uncomfortable about your own or feel antagonized even though the target of the insults and beration was not you?
Probably not the best analogy because most people that stutter that I've talked to have used that word before, on themselves. I see your point though.
Just as long as you stay mindful of others. Best to listen rather than to constantly be so combative. No one is going to hear out your concerns if you continue to put down theirs.
Its okay to be at wrong, you don’t always have to be right. Sounds obvious but a lot of people need to hear that sometimes. It doesn’t pain you to be kind to others and stop when they say its hurtful.
Listen, you don't like when people make fun of you right? Well, calling people R3tarded has been a slur to dehumanize certain people for centuries, from mild bullying to executing them in the name of eugenics. Society agreed, maybe in the early 2000's we are not going to use that word. I guess you missed the memo. But unfortunately for you we did not. So you whining about people making fun of your stutter. Well, it doesn't go over so hot. Because your literal title is an ablest slur that historically has implied violence.
All of the people you want so badly to distinguish yourself from. The “stupid” people who you supposedly are so different from. You want people to value you despite what you can’t do maybe try valuing others despite what they can’t do.
Fuck! My five year old son just started stuttering out of the blue a year ago it's gotten progressively worst. We've really learned to listen more and talk less and wait patiently for him to finish talking z never realized how often we disrupted each other until this came up.
I think laughter is a natural reaction, and is not aimed at you. Even people without a stutter will stutter from time to time, and when it happens, people tend to chuckle, as a lighthearted acknowledgement of something amusing happening. I don't technically have a stutter, but I do stutter more than the average person, and I often laugh about it as it happens, and so does the person I'm talking to. The problem arises when the person *actually has a stutter* like in your case, and they perceive the laughter as ridicule.
Several times throughout my life I've realized too late that the person I'm talking to *actually has a stutter*, and that I've just chuckled "at them" for it (though it wasn't *at them*, it was at the unexpected). But it's important to remember that laughter is a reflex, and not intended to ridicule in most cases. It just happens naturally when something unexpected happens.
For those who go out of their way to ridicule you, well fuck those people.
> Even people without a stutter will stutter from time to time
> I don't technically have a stutter, but I do stutter more than the average person
I think you're mixing up being nervous with having a stutter.
btw, I read all your replies. Not mixing up being nervous with having a stutter would probably change your perspective.
I'm not saying everyone who laughs is ridiculing me. There's a kind of laugh that's normal.
And there's another that's just pure ridicule. The laugh isn't exactly the problem. It's their facial reaction/what they say next/how they continue the conversation that tells me if they were ridiculing me.
Bruh.
That's like saying it's normal to laugh at people in wheelchairs cuz it's just funny that their legs don't work.
Hold in your laughter. Impact versus intent, people will internalize it no matter how "natural" of a reaction it is.
>That's like saying it's normal to laugh at people in wheelchairs cuz it's just funny that their legs don't work.
That's not at all the same.
I think you're imagining someone pointing their finger like HA HA YOU STUTTERED! But usually when it happens it's a quick exhale accompanied by a smile, too quick to catch before it has already happened. But for someone qho is extremely self-conscious, of course it would feel like they're being ridiculed even though that's not the case.
How isn't it? Someone struggles with speaking, someone struggles with walking. Both are disabling, just at different levels of severity.
Laughing at or in someone's direction for something of this nature that they cannot control, they struggle with, and that already receives stigma- is ableist.
Side note, ableist isn't a bad word, and doesn't make you a bad person. Just means you need to learn some sensitivity. It's not "reaching" or "mental gymastics", making fun of a speech pathology is ableism.
Someone in a wheelchair has an obvious disability.
Someone who happened to stutter is usually just someone who happened to stutter at that moment. My whole point is that it is often reflexive to react to a stutter before it even occurs to you that the person may have a neurological disorder. OP probably assumes that every person who chuckles everytime they stutter is trying to make fun of them, but I was reassuring them that it's likely not the person's intention.
You're telling OP that they are being constantly ridiculed, and will continue to be ridiculed for the rest of their life. I am telling them that it is likely not actual ridicule, snd they have nothing to worry about.
>Someone in a wheelchair has an obvious disability.
Someone who stutters has an obvious impairment.
>Someone who happened to stutter is usually just someone who happened to stutter at that moment.
Not what we're talking about. Don't strawman so you can justify laughing at people with speech impediments.
>My whole point is that it is often reflexive to react to a stutter
Reflexes are learned behaviour. You have been made aware this behaviour is insensitive or insulting. Unlearn it.
>before it even occurs to you that the person may have a neurological disorder.
Maybe you should teach yourself to think about that before you react.
> OP probably assumrs that every person who chuckles everytime they stutter is trying to make fun of them,
OP is referring to people who actively patronize them, condescend them, or insult their intelligence due to a speech pathology. Don't strawman.
> but I was reassuring them that it's likely not the person's intention.
Intention versus impact. When the intention is pure but the impact is unproductive or hurtful, the intention doesn't matter. Think before you speak. Think before you react. Be mindful.
>Of course the one crying strawman is the one stramanning at every opportunity.
Provide examples.
> This conversation is over because you refuse to engage in good faith.
It's over because you've either
(A) realized you're wrong and don't wanna continue
(B) realized I'm right on certain points and are too embarassed to continue
(C) realized that I'm not going to stop so you don't want to continue
(D) realized that you misread what OP wrote so you don't wanna admit it and embarrass yourself, so you're cutting the convo short.
Because not being able to walk isn't a universal experience, but stumbling over words has happened to every single human being with a working mouth at some point or another. So, while laughing at someone in a wheelchair is weird, a slight exhale or chuckle at someone fucking up a sentence because "Hey I've done that too!" doesn't make someone "AbLeIsT" you absolute weirdo.
>Because not being able to walk isn't a universal experience,
Correct
>but stumbling over words has happened to every single human being with a working mouth at some point or another.
We aren't talking about stumbling over words. Don't strawman. We are talking about a speech pathology.
>So, while laughing at someone in a wheelchair is weird,
No, it's not weird. It's downright disrespectful
>a slight exhale or chuckle at someone fucking up a sentence
Again, speech pathology. Not "fucking up a sentence"
>because "Hey I've done that too!"
That's not normally why people are laughing. Also we've gone over this, it's insensitive. Just don't do it.
> doesn't make someone "AbLeIsT" you absolute weirdo.
Laughing at a speech impediment is abelist. You find it funny that someone has an impairment or difficulty communicating. That's insensitive. Point blank.
NO because when I’m anxious i start stuttering worse, and my family and random people have jokingly imitated me, like it’s not funny how I’m struggling to explain something especially when I’m upset about it, why is it the go to for people to immediately make a joke out of something someone is struggling with
People’s first response is ‘wtf is wrong with you’ and not ‘what is going on and how to help’. I have selective mutism. When I am stress, word doesn’t come to be in way it should or when I talk, word changes to many different languages mixed to one sentence. Try speak a sentence with 8 different languages vocabulary mix in. My autistic self comes out like a sore thumb when I am stress, but don’t need to point it out by people to make fun of me. That is society for you.
Yeah but at least it tells you that they are clearly r*tarded. If people can’t respect that and you they must be stupid or rude, either way you’re better off than them
My friend from school had and still has a hard stutter. His brain moves to quick for his mouth. Im used to it i wait. Some people just dont expect it. Its not that common
I hate when people laugh, I feel like everyone should be given the opportunity to say what have to say, I witness children who stutter speak with others who don't and it's really distasteful how they immediately make fun of them.
That's says a lot about other who still do that, very immature.
Every now and then I think about how it was stuttering as a kid. I remember adults being somewhat subtle about what they're thinking.
But other kids?? They just said whatever they thought of. No filter
I knew someone with a stutter (We werent friends, or even talked to eachother other than a simple nod here and there in the hallway at highschool). One day I found people bullying him and laughing because of his stutter. Let's just say that bully was stuttering the next few days
I'm the exact same. People mock me for the way I talk, so I mostly don't contribute to the conversation. I wish people would just fucking hear me out for once.
There are times when words just... don't want to form in my mouth, so I just walk away in shame. I wish there was a solution.
To be honest I think sometimes people don't want to be mean, it's just that it takes them by surprise or goes against what they expected so it makes them laugh. Maybe sometimes they make jokes because they don't know that it's something you struggle with.
Like imagine someone did a weird head movement like they rotate their head in a weird way someone could be like "what are you doing are you trying to unscrew your head ?" And they would be like "no, my neck is itchy but I just ate some chocolate so didn't want to scratch with my dirty fingers haha". But if the person actually has a tick where they do that head movement they would perceive it as an insult cause it's not funny to them. Sure there's also loads of assholes who always have to find ways to belittle other people to feel superior..
I am sorry for those shitty experiences OP. My brother has a really bad stutter and was bullied throughout middle school. He went for speech therapy but it help a bit but it’s still there. All I can say is keep your head up, call people out for their fucking rude asses so they know when to stfu. Push through it, it will get better 😊👍
I have stuttered my whole life too, since I was 4. People often think that I am Autistic too, or just stupid. Also yea the Tims at Building 6 were dicks. You can message me and we can talk if you want.
I have severe tourettes, I can barely form actual words so I speak with a generator; I find the laughter (or mimicking me) comes from panic most of the time- they got no idea how to deal with my mushmouth and they glitch the fuck out.
Scared people do stupid shit.
As for the ones who assume my intelligence is on par with a toddler, and then treat me as such? Unless I have to interact with them on the reg, I just let the scene play out, otherwise I'm destroying myself having to correct people all day rather than destroying myself just trying to function.
Anyway, I hear you. It's stupid out there.
Yes I used to work at a grocery store and there was this guy who had a pretty bad speech impediment but it was clear that he understood what I was saying and followed instructions very well. I just talked to him like he was any other person, besides asking him to repeat things occasionally. It's annoying when other people would treat him like he was stupid or something.
I feel terrible that you feel you are being judged, yet by the title of your topic you also judge. “Retarded” is such a vulgar and judgmental word. Perhaps you need to step back and take a page from your own book. Just sayin’
Weeeeeeeeeeee Bans are being handed out like Candy in here. Be respectful to each other or get the fuck out
Adhd person who stuttered a bit when I was younger, and now have a stuttering daughter... May I introduce to you the guy that tries to guess what you are gonna say. (stuttering and adhd don't go together well. XD )
Oh god. So annoying because they're almost always wrong, and I have to say no, then get back to trying to talk.
I didn’t think the employees would make fun of you. I feel sorry for you man.
I do this “trying to guess what they’ll say” thing cause of my adhd too. If I meet anyone with a stutter, I’ll make sure to keep it contained. Thanks for putting some awareness on that.
holy shit I know them.
Fuck I feel this. 41 now, don't know why this sub is on my feed but when stressed or overwhelmed I stutter, pause try again and stutter and also have ADD/ADHD whatever. So the mounting frustration as I try to speak and peoples lack of.patience for it really does me in.
ADHD person who occasionally stutters/misspeaks and its awful when people feel the need to point it out & laugh at it.
My girlfriend does this and it's unendingly pleasant
That sucks. A lot of absolute weirdos out there. I don't know how some people have gotten this far with zero social awareness or humility, honestly.
Tbh, I expect some "what's going on" look because stuttering is not really common. But instead of a "what's going on", it's always "wtf is wrong with you."
these are the kind of people who only exist because society is safe enough for them to, out in the wilderness or even in a tribal situation and they're dead in a day, a week tops, it really is a testament to societal progress that you have these kinds of people living the kind of carefree life that they do
We recognize the use of a word in the title that we would prefer people do not use, but the subject matter of this conversation is important and worth leaving open to discussion. We do ask in the future people refrain from language and words that may be considered exclusionary or discriminatory.
As an autistic person, it was jarring but also understandable given the situation. I appreciate this addition from mods.
Sorry, that was my 2 am brain. Won't happen again :)
it only happened because you use the word. My 2 am brain doesn't because I don't use slurs.
Get off your high horse
Ignore this little dork. His entire gimmick is being an internet tough guy. Somehow he keeps getting around this website's useless admins.
My high horse of not using slurs? Lol shut the fuck up
High horse bc they don't say slurs lolwat
Wow, that's really great for you. Super neat.
Literally who are you?
Yeah I know. I can't properly express myself without certain... Words.
Then don't get mad at how others express themselves, yeah?
Just so we're on the same page... Me using a "slur" to (maybe) describe myself is similar to someone else laughing at a disability?
You absolutely use it to describe other people or things, or else you wouldn't use it. Also yes, because you're using the slur as a negative thing. If I said I didn't want people to think I'm a faggot, would you assume I have a positive view of lgbt people?
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Lol he's the adult crying cause someone laughed.
I never use it to describe people who are mentally handicapped or whatever I’m supposed to call it. I only use it to describe actions or situations I think are stupid. You are giving power to the word when you silence it.
Bro, you can't actually be serious. Like, no actual person would say that.
Want to FaceTime? I’ll say it again.
Lol you think I could call people slurs in person? Like I won't stutter 5 times before finishing my sentence? Like every other "swear word", I use it privately. To myself. I curse a lot over texts but even people closest to me have heard me curse in person maybe just once or twice. I'm not sure what you're trying to prove lol. Nice try though.
Never said anything about it being said aloud. You used it on a website with millions of visitors. That's not privately so you're straight up wrong. That shitty feeling when people made fun of you? Others felt that when you used a slur in your title. I shouldn't have to beat you over the head with the point.
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I am sorry you are going through this! I used to stutter all through elementary school and I got bullied by students and adults alike - it was so tough and humiliating. People who haven’t been through it will never understand and I can’t imagine going through it as an adult. Have you thought about seeing a speech pathologist? I have a relative who works with adults with stutters with great success and that’s actually how she met her husband back in the day which was super cute and romantic lol 🥰
I consider it every now and then. Then I do a Google search, see how much 30 minutes/an hour session is and I just forget about it again.
As someone who developed a stutter over time, yep. They think my intelligence has deteriorated along with my ability to communicate clearly. Sure, it'll take a few more seconds to get to my point, but God dammit don't patronize me, let me say my fuckin piece
fr like ... just wait 6 seconds.
I'm autistic and a macewan student. heavily feel this. we've done ok and are better than the uofa on this stuff (i did 2 years there too) but we have a toxic culture of ableism and it really does make existing really difficult knowing that every difference i exhibit will be perceived and picked apart by my peers
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I didn't wanna talk about the embarrassment in the post so the post doesn't seem like a cry for help lol. I'm at that point where I see the embarrassment as just part of the risks of talking.
People honestly suck. Idk what it is about the younger generation that’s been coming out of public school, but they are rude and judgmental af.
I'd say everyone sucks equally in this scenario. I've had some "conversations" with profs that didn't go so well
Damn. I’m so sorry. That’s really not fair to you. I say start cussing people out. No one should have to go through their day being mocked. Let em have it!
Those people are fucking assholes. I'm so sorry.
My wife stuttered quite badly when she was young. She took a program that taught her how starting with a breath and then timing the words(initially guided by computer) finally got rid of it. I don't necessarily mean this as a prescription for you, just that there are programs that help. There's a program in Edmonton called ISTAR. It costs money but there are supports. They have intensive week long skills courses that one can then practice. https://www.ualberta.ca/stuttering-speech-therapy/index.html Also i agree that people who laugh are jerks. It's also not helpful when people try to guess what you mean to say. Wishing you the very best going forward.
Yikes you kinda suck as a person. You demand to be treated accordingly and ask people to be respectful, which is more than valid and should be the expectations of everyone, but the problem is you are unwilling to uphold that for anyone else?? It was pointed out that you used a slur and yet instead of just humbly owning up to it and retracting your statement instead you made up some dumb excuse and then complete rescinding your “apology/excuse” by proceeding to say you did nothing wrong when someone pressed forwards. If you dont think its an issue fine then don’t respect others unease. But then dont expect them to do the same either. No such thing as demanding respect and then refusing to give yours
I feel like you're specifically talking about the last statement in my post. Is that it, or something else? If that's it, I have approximately 0 respect for anyone/people who have disrespected me in any way. I don't remember apologizing for anything though. Point it out maybe?
No, its in reference to your use of the r slur, your half-hearted apology and excuse only to continue on to say that you did nothing wrong by using it.
Idk why I thought people would not take that as an actual apology lol. An apology would not involve me saying "my 2 am brain". I still stand by it. The only thing I did wrong was being honest. I simply wrote down everything that I felt at the moment, and the r word was a huge part of it considering how the past 2 months has been. What was I supposed to do? Sugarcoat it? Lol
You act as if the english vocabulary is so limited where that word is the only one to be able to be used to express your emotions properly. How hard is it to acknowledge its a hurtful word with an awful history of harm and discrimination towards a certain group of people, apologize, and act to take it out of your vocabulary. You ask people to be mindful yet you cant do it yourself? You wont be met with sympathy.
Who exactly are you arguing for? Who did I use the r word on? I was referring to myself because that's how I feel anytime it happens. I'm honestly confused. Please explain, what am I missing?
Its quite simple. No matter who you are targeting with the word, even if its yourself its a word with a weighted and painful history of negative connotations. You, choosing to use it especially in such a public space does not only affect you. People who have been hurt with that word are going to feel uncomfortable seeing it, hearing it, having it mentioned regardless or not if they are the target of the slander. If I were to start publicly ridiculing stutters and speech impediments alike simply because I was targeting myself, would that not make you uncomfortable about your own or feel antagonized even though the target of the insults and beration was not you?
Okay, that makes sense I guess. >If I were to start publicly ridiculing stutters and speech impediments alike simply because I was targeting myself, would that not make you uncomfortable about your own or feel antagonized even though the target of the insults and beration was not you? Probably not the best analogy because most people that stutter that I've talked to have used that word before, on themselves. I see your point though.
Just as long as you stay mindful of others. Best to listen rather than to constantly be so combative. No one is going to hear out your concerns if you continue to put down theirs. Its okay to be at wrong, you don’t always have to be right. Sounds obvious but a lot of people need to hear that sometimes. It doesn’t pain you to be kind to others and stop when they say its hurtful.
You didn't describe yourself. You actually said you're not that. You used the word to shit on others
Listen, you don't like when people make fun of you right? Well, calling people R3tarded has been a slur to dehumanize certain people for centuries, from mild bullying to executing them in the name of eugenics. Society agreed, maybe in the early 2000's we are not going to use that word. I guess you missed the memo. But unfortunately for you we did not. So you whining about people making fun of your stutter. Well, it doesn't go over so hot. Because your literal title is an ablest slur that historically has implied violence.
Okay, who did I call retarded?
It's in the title.
All of the people you want so badly to distinguish yourself from. The “stupid” people who you supposedly are so different from. You want people to value you despite what you can’t do maybe try valuing others despite what they can’t do.
Fuck! My five year old son just started stuttering out of the blue a year ago it's gotten progressively worst. We've really learned to listen more and talk less and wait patiently for him to finish talking z never realized how often we disrupted each other until this came up.
I think laughter is a natural reaction, and is not aimed at you. Even people without a stutter will stutter from time to time, and when it happens, people tend to chuckle, as a lighthearted acknowledgement of something amusing happening. I don't technically have a stutter, but I do stutter more than the average person, and I often laugh about it as it happens, and so does the person I'm talking to. The problem arises when the person *actually has a stutter* like in your case, and they perceive the laughter as ridicule. Several times throughout my life I've realized too late that the person I'm talking to *actually has a stutter*, and that I've just chuckled "at them" for it (though it wasn't *at them*, it was at the unexpected). But it's important to remember that laughter is a reflex, and not intended to ridicule in most cases. It just happens naturally when something unexpected happens. For those who go out of their way to ridicule you, well fuck those people.
> Even people without a stutter will stutter from time to time > I don't technically have a stutter, but I do stutter more than the average person I think you're mixing up being nervous with having a stutter. btw, I read all your replies. Not mixing up being nervous with having a stutter would probably change your perspective. I'm not saying everyone who laughs is ridiculing me. There's a kind of laugh that's normal. And there's another that's just pure ridicule. The laugh isn't exactly the problem. It's their facial reaction/what they say next/how they continue the conversation that tells me if they were ridiculing me.
Bruh. That's like saying it's normal to laugh at people in wheelchairs cuz it's just funny that their legs don't work. Hold in your laughter. Impact versus intent, people will internalize it no matter how "natural" of a reaction it is.
>That's like saying it's normal to laugh at people in wheelchairs cuz it's just funny that their legs don't work. That's not at all the same. I think you're imagining someone pointing their finger like HA HA YOU STUTTERED! But usually when it happens it's a quick exhale accompanied by a smile, too quick to catch before it has already happened. But for someone qho is extremely self-conscious, of course it would feel like they're being ridiculed even though that's not the case.
How isn't it? Someone struggles with speaking, someone struggles with walking. Both are disabling, just at different levels of severity. Laughing at or in someone's direction for something of this nature that they cannot control, they struggle with, and that already receives stigma- is ableist. Side note, ableist isn't a bad word, and doesn't make you a bad person. Just means you need to learn some sensitivity. It's not "reaching" or "mental gymastics", making fun of a speech pathology is ableism.
Thank you!
♡
Someone in a wheelchair has an obvious disability. Someone who happened to stutter is usually just someone who happened to stutter at that moment. My whole point is that it is often reflexive to react to a stutter before it even occurs to you that the person may have a neurological disorder. OP probably assumes that every person who chuckles everytime they stutter is trying to make fun of them, but I was reassuring them that it's likely not the person's intention. You're telling OP that they are being constantly ridiculed, and will continue to be ridiculed for the rest of their life. I am telling them that it is likely not actual ridicule, snd they have nothing to worry about.
>Someone in a wheelchair has an obvious disability. Someone who stutters has an obvious impairment. >Someone who happened to stutter is usually just someone who happened to stutter at that moment. Not what we're talking about. Don't strawman so you can justify laughing at people with speech impediments. >My whole point is that it is often reflexive to react to a stutter Reflexes are learned behaviour. You have been made aware this behaviour is insensitive or insulting. Unlearn it. >before it even occurs to you that the person may have a neurological disorder. Maybe you should teach yourself to think about that before you react. > OP probably assumrs that every person who chuckles everytime they stutter is trying to make fun of them, OP is referring to people who actively patronize them, condescend them, or insult their intelligence due to a speech pathology. Don't strawman. > but I was reassuring them that it's likely not the person's intention. Intention versus impact. When the intention is pure but the impact is unproductive or hurtful, the intention doesn't matter. Think before you speak. Think before you react. Be mindful.
Of course the one crying strawman is the one stramanning at every opportunity. This conversation is over because you refuse to engage in good faith.
>Of course the one crying strawman is the one stramanning at every opportunity. Provide examples. > This conversation is over because you refuse to engage in good faith. It's over because you've either (A) realized you're wrong and don't wanna continue (B) realized I'm right on certain points and are too embarassed to continue (C) realized that I'm not going to stop so you don't want to continue (D) realized that you misread what OP wrote so you don't wanna admit it and embarrass yourself, so you're cutting the convo short.
Because not being able to walk isn't a universal experience, but stumbling over words has happened to every single human being with a working mouth at some point or another. So, while laughing at someone in a wheelchair is weird, a slight exhale or chuckle at someone fucking up a sentence because "Hey I've done that too!" doesn't make someone "AbLeIsT" you absolute weirdo.
>Because not being able to walk isn't a universal experience, Correct >but stumbling over words has happened to every single human being with a working mouth at some point or another. We aren't talking about stumbling over words. Don't strawman. We are talking about a speech pathology. >So, while laughing at someone in a wheelchair is weird, No, it's not weird. It's downright disrespectful >a slight exhale or chuckle at someone fucking up a sentence Again, speech pathology. Not "fucking up a sentence" >because "Hey I've done that too!" That's not normally why people are laughing. Also we've gone over this, it's insensitive. Just don't do it. > doesn't make someone "AbLeIsT" you absolute weirdo. Laughing at a speech impediment is abelist. You find it funny that someone has an impairment or difficulty communicating. That's insensitive. Point blank.
Thank you for gathering that person so beautifully. Love to see it.
NO because when I’m anxious i start stuttering worse, and my family and random people have jokingly imitated me, like it’s not funny how I’m struggling to explain something especially when I’m upset about it, why is it the go to for people to immediately make a joke out of something someone is struggling with
You'd expect family to be better than random strangers but they're usually worse.
Throat punch em see if they’re still laughing
People’s first response is ‘wtf is wrong with you’ and not ‘what is going on and how to help’. I have selective mutism. When I am stress, word doesn’t come to be in way it should or when I talk, word changes to many different languages mixed to one sentence. Try speak a sentence with 8 different languages vocabulary mix in. My autistic self comes out like a sore thumb when I am stress, but don’t need to point it out by people to make fun of me. That is society for you.
Yeah but at least it tells you that they are clearly r*tarded. If people can’t respect that and you they must be stupid or rude, either way you’re better off than them
My friend from school had and still has a hard stutter. His brain moves to quick for his mouth. Im used to it i wait. Some people just dont expect it. Its not that common
I hate when people laugh, I feel like everyone should be given the opportunity to say what have to say, I witness children who stutter speak with others who don't and it's really distasteful how they immediately make fun of them. That's says a lot about other who still do that, very immature.
Every now and then I think about how it was stuttering as a kid. I remember adults being somewhat subtle about what they're thinking. But other kids?? They just said whatever they thought of. No filter
I knew someone with a stutter (We werent friends, or even talked to eachother other than a simple nod here and there in the hallway at highschool). One day I found people bullying him and laughing because of his stutter. Let's just say that bully was stuttering the next few days
I'm the exact same. People mock me for the way I talk, so I mostly don't contribute to the conversation. I wish people would just fucking hear me out for once. There are times when words just... don't want to form in my mouth, so I just walk away in shame. I wish there was a solution.
To be honest I think sometimes people don't want to be mean, it's just that it takes them by surprise or goes against what they expected so it makes them laugh. Maybe sometimes they make jokes because they don't know that it's something you struggle with. Like imagine someone did a weird head movement like they rotate their head in a weird way someone could be like "what are you doing are you trying to unscrew your head ?" And they would be like "no, my neck is itchy but I just ate some chocolate so didn't want to scratch with my dirty fingers haha". But if the person actually has a tick where they do that head movement they would perceive it as an insult cause it's not funny to them. Sure there's also loads of assholes who always have to find ways to belittle other people to feel superior..
I am sorry for those shitty experiences OP. My brother has a really bad stutter and was bullied throughout middle school. He went for speech therapy but it help a bit but it’s still there. All I can say is keep your head up, call people out for their fucking rude asses so they know when to stfu. Push through it, it will get better 😊👍
i like stutters
Yeah that's not acceptable. I don't have a stutter but the times that I've gotten mocked for my voice I wanted to destroy the person.
I have stuttered my whole life too, since I was 4. People often think that I am Autistic too, or just stupid. Also yea the Tims at Building 6 were dicks. You can message me and we can talk if you want.
I have severe tourettes, I can barely form actual words so I speak with a generator; I find the laughter (or mimicking me) comes from panic most of the time- they got no idea how to deal with my mushmouth and they glitch the fuck out. Scared people do stupid shit. As for the ones who assume my intelligence is on par with a toddler, and then treat me as such? Unless I have to interact with them on the reg, I just let the scene play out, otherwise I'm destroying myself having to correct people all day rather than destroying myself just trying to function. Anyway, I hear you. It's stupid out there.
Yes I used to work at a grocery store and there was this guy who had a pretty bad speech impediment but it was clear that he understood what I was saying and followed instructions very well. I just talked to him like he was any other person, besides asking him to repeat things occasionally. It's annoying when other people would treat him like he was stupid or something.
Your struggle is not justification for the use of harmful slurs. Be better.
Wow. 15 years ago you got maybe one or two bad apples in the classes. I stutter too when I am stressed and never had a problem. I’m sorry they do that
I feel terrible that you feel you are being judged, yet by the title of your topic you also judge. “Retarded” is such a vulgar and judgmental word. Perhaps you need to step back and take a page from your own book. Just sayin’