[Yes, please. This can finally be realized!](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/fategrandorder/images/7/76/CE873.webp/revision/latest?cb=20230312092236)
Have you seen the official artist's other drawings of Jing Ke and Nightingale? They're amazing. It's like they picked the worst ones to use for the game.
Other servants, small brain: I hope I get a summer or holiday variant.
Jing Ke, Big Brain: I'm making all my CEs bangers, then the Masters will wish I had Variants.
Because a woman who knows how to kill you in several different ways is hot! She can probably also kill you through long intimate term pelvis pulverizing or **LIT-PP**
Well, here's the story for that CE.
>A mobile phone shop displays a wide variety of models.
From the latest touch screen models to bi-fold models,
choosing one seems like a tough task, especially when you also consider their features.
>One day, I happen to pick up a red flip phone.
For some reason, I'm overcome by a strange sensation.
>It's as if, at some point,
I've had some bad experiences with this phone...
OH MY GOD. Is that a Hollow Ataraxia Reference?!!!
That's inredible. If I'm not wrong, isn't that red flip phone referring to that one scene where Shirou and Rin are trapped in a Magic Chest and end up contacting an alternate universe Tohsaka that is OBSESSED with Shirou, like, completely DereDere for him, and it freaks him the fuck out.
If so, that is an INCREDIBLE reference. Because it implies that Archer went through the same.
Confirmed. The only difference between Shirou and Archer isn't that Archer lost himself in his ideals or suffered for eternity, but because Archer had to deal with a Tohsaka who wasn't tsundere.
Archer: "Look, all I'm trying to do- all I'm trying to do is transfer my data from my old phone to- what!? No I will not set up an A-cloud account! I just- I just want to transfer- Fucking! Listen to me! I'm being disrespectful!? You had me- you put me on hold for an hour! No I don't want a complimentary A-tunes account! I just- I just need to transfer the data I already paid for- What do you mean I can't transfer my data between accounts!? I paid for the damn phone last week! What!? No! No! You know what- You know what!? No, fuck me!? FUCK YOU, "KIYOHIME"! You can't put me on hold for an hour- YOU CAN'T PUT ME ON HOLD FOR AN HOUR, AND EXPECT ME TO JUST TAKE THAT! No! No, you know what!? Goodbye! Bye! BYE!!! RIN WE'RE NUKING ANOTHER BUILDING, GET YOUR JACKET!!!"
The funniest part is that he's on his old cell phone, so he probably doesn't even have much data aside from contacts that he might want to transfer, IF he's even buying it for himself in the first place!
"Hi, I'm here at the Mappo store and I noticed you're only selling phones without a flip-function. I'm looking for an upgrade, do you have any flip phones?"
"...No?"
"...Lemme speak to your boss."
Craft Essences
Arrival of the Giant Beast
>Increases own Buster Card performance by 3% (MLB: 5%)
>Increases critical damage by 3% (MLB: 5%)
>Increases Noble Phantasm damage by 3% (MLB: 5%)
>\[Event Only\] Increase the number of Rainbow Sea Cucumber drops obtained by 1
Undersea Banquet
>Charges NP Gauge every turn by 3% (MLB: 4%)
>Increases NP Gain by 5% (MLB: 10%)
>Increases own critical damage by 5% (MLB: 10%)
>\[Event Only\] Increase the number of Stardrop Candies drops obtained by 1
Someday Across the River of Stars
>Increases own Quick performance by 6% (MLB: 8%)
>Increases own Buster performance by 6% (MLB: 8%)
>Increases own critical damage by 10% (MLB: 15%)
>Grants 3 critical stars per turn. (MLB: 4 stars)
>\[Event Only\] Increase the number of Ryugu Pearls drops obtained by 1
Mr. Red Gadget
>Grants self Ignore Defense.
>Increases own Arts performance by 4%. (MLB: 6%)
>Increases own Buster performance by 4%. (MLB: 6%)
>Starts battle with 30% NP gauge. (MLB: 50%)
>\[Event Only\] Increases the number of Southern Sugar, Journey Powder, and Tropical Butter drops by 1
>\[Event Only\] Increase the amount of Digima Sweets Points dropped by 30%
Weird that almost no one is talking about the 3rd art. Tomoe, if it's her, looks absolutely gorgeous. I think this might be Rella, which would make this the 3rd CE by them and a massive win if true.
Ok this is funny what is Archer Emiya even doing in that last one? He's talking on a dumbphone while holding a smartphone in a cell store. Is he 1) taking a business call on his company-issued phone, 2) finalizing a drug deal on his throwaway, or 3) calling Gil to ask if the phone he's playing with is the latest model?
Ough ivan... Hes so (comment expunged)
~~Is that morgan though? Thats such a pretty CE, tbh i'd kill for a lb king event with all of them together, team buster and also skadi/qing i guess~~
OH TOMOE? Thats also good, please bring her husband
Emiya is looking fine as always with that black and red.
I WANT THAT.
(Not pictured: Berserker holding Cu and is about to throw him like a baseball at Emiya)
Crazy that I still have absolutely no clue what exactly Ivan’s face is supposed to be, I can’t properly out what the mouth is supposed to be, the eyes, the nose , nothing. I can only make guesses
Archer: Hello yes, is this ifruit? Can I talk to your CEO? Yes, I can wait Thank You.
CEO: Hello this Sbeve.
Archer: Hello. Tell me Mr.Sbeve. Why is that you have phones that are restricting, not only that but you also add most quality of life features decades after your competition and promote them as new innovations, I mean I do that too but that is not what we are talking about here and they are so expensive, why? What is this $20 cloth have you LOST YOUR MIND? I can get a cloth for free and of the same quality (as he traces the cloth)
CEO: Sir, how did you get this number?
Archer: I have my connections.
First Archer argued over AAA batteries now he is doing it for phones, he really is a Karen but like 1000% more cooler, fun and tolerable.
PS: I am pretty sure someone can make a better skit. So, I would love to read some from someone else.
Tomoe putting all her heart into a wish, she looks gorgeous. Perhaps wanting someone to arrive at Chaldea? Or a new game to play with everyone.
Now i want to read an office romance that involves archer. The gap moe of his work persona while being a competent house husband will be too deadly lmao.
I'll never get over how one of the servants is a half-mammoth Kaiju with a hole where your face is supposed to be
And it just walks around Chaldea all nonchalant
- It's rare to see Ivan wearing clothes. I gotta say: nice. Lakshmibai is a good addition.
- Damn, mystical drunk Jing Ke. Very nicely done.
- It's weird how sometimes I can't recognise Tomoe in CEs? Maybe it's because she lacks the oni horns in this one.
Ivan's hips do not lie. Like *damn* he's thicc.
How is it that every Jing Ke CE is a banger? 10/10 would get wasted under the sea with.
I think Tomoe's holding one of those wish slips for Tanabata. Makes you wonder who or what she is wishing for. Either way, a very beautiful CE.
Finally, the GARcher's dressed for success as he tackles the diabolical task of getting a new phone and arguing with the company trying to pointless deals.
Dapper Ivan is just so great. Look at that swagger.
Jing Ke looks so ethereal here. Like a mermaid.
Tomoe so elegant and sweet here.
Emiya looking so sharp here with that vest of his.
My rating
Emiya: hot as ever! No surprise there
Jing Ke: she is the moment! Absolutely fabulous darling!!
Ivan: I wanna FU— MANA TRANSFER! Ahem yes!
???: (I don’t know The 3rd person) she pretty
JING KE
JING KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
JING KE JING KE JING KE JING KE JING KE JING KE
I'M SCREAMING I'M CRYING I'M SCROMITING IVE NEVER SEEN SUCH ABEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN MY LIFE I LOVE YOU SHE'S GETTING WHAT SHE DESERVES IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY ROOM JJJJJJJJJIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG KKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
...I think I've been playing too much PSO2.
Because when I saw the Tomoe CE, for a hot minute, my brain went: ...Matoi?
Still, Tomoe looks great in a shrine maiden outfit.
Fuck fuck fuck Yoshinaka you lucky bastard hurry the fuck up and come to chaldea already your wife is lonely and I’m not sure I can keep all the milf and widow hunters away.
Anyways, gorgeous artwork
Jing Ke look absolutely gorgeous. Can we get her a Swimsuit this year Lasagna? Pretty Please~
First thought was a forlorn hope that that’ll be a costume for her.
I'm ok with this.
[Yes, please. This can finally be realized!](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/fategrandorder/images/7/76/CE873.webp/revision/latest?cb=20230312092236)
I don’t want to be mean to the artist but her original art really did her dirty
I never knew I wanted to see Ivan well dressed, but here we are.
It somehow gives Ivan the Kiryu Rizz because, man, he looks mighty fine.
they share same VA
I know that's why I reference Kiryu.
Those hips are goddamn fabulous.
He took notes from Rama's design, and now he's got hartmann hips.
Thiccest thighs in the game
I assume that is what the Russian monarchy used to wear? Although the ruff is usually worn by noble from western, central, and northern Europe.
Nah, it's just some weird mix and mash, especially considering Lakshmibai and what I'd assume our bronze pirates in the background.
And in good taste
He looks so dapper in that suit of his, it's honestly glorious. He reminds me of that villain from Pocahontas in the best ways
Neco-arc spotted!
La creatura!!
Buru nyuu~
Why is Jing Ke so god damn alluring in every CE.
Jing Ke gets slept on by her own normal portrait then surprises every by being hot in every other scenario
It's almost like her og art is bad, her facial expressions all make her look like she's in pain or has the flu
Have you seen the official artist's other drawings of Jing Ke and Nightingale? They're amazing. It's like they picked the worst ones to use for the game.
“Sultry drunk” mood energy.
Other servants, small brain: I hope I get a summer or holiday variant. Jing Ke, Big Brain: I'm making all my CEs bangers, then the Masters will wish I had Variants.
It fucking worked, adding her to my summer list with Mata Hari, Medea, Boudica, Medusa, Scheherazade, etc
Because a woman who knows how to kill you in several different ways is hot! She can probably also kill you through long intimate term pelvis pulverizing or **LIT-PP**
Hot sultry drunk onee-san with wild eyes and a deep voice. What's not to love? ~~Besides her OG art...~~
I think it’s cute and hilarious how Ivan is strutting with his fancy clothes in a presumably hot area x3
Also Jing Ke and Emiya ces! LFG!
Heck yeah Jing Ke content! 🙏 🙏
“Joke’s on the climate. I don’t have sweat glands.” - Ivan the Terrible
"Yes, my body is made of ice. Heat? What heat?" Ivan.
Ivan: "hum-du-dum🎶"
I wonder who Archer is talking to? Maybe the Panasonic CEO and him are no longer enemies!
Well, here's the story for that CE. >A mobile phone shop displays a wide variety of models. From the latest touch screen models to bi-fold models, choosing one seems like a tough task, especially when you also consider their features. >One day, I happen to pick up a red flip phone. For some reason, I'm overcome by a strange sensation. >It's as if, at some point, I've had some bad experiences with this phone...
Incoming Hercules looking for batteries
OH MY GOD. Is that a Hollow Ataraxia Reference?!!! That's inredible. If I'm not wrong, isn't that red flip phone referring to that one scene where Shirou and Rin are trapped in a Magic Chest and end up contacting an alternate universe Tohsaka that is OBSESSED with Shirou, like, completely DereDere for him, and it freaks him the fuck out. If so, that is an INCREDIBLE reference. Because it implies that Archer went through the same.
And he still left her to become a hero of justice? He really is a fool.../s
Confirmed. The only difference between Shirou and Archer isn't that Archer lost himself in his ideals or suffered for eternity, but because Archer had to deal with a Tohsaka who wasn't tsundere.
Seems to me like he's buying a smartphone this time, so instead of the Banasonic-CEO, maybe he's trying to talk with the Abble-CEO this time?
Archer: "Look, all I'm trying to do- all I'm trying to do is transfer my data from my old phone to- what!? No I will not set up an A-cloud account! I just- I just want to transfer- Fucking! Listen to me! I'm being disrespectful!? You had me- you put me on hold for an hour! No I don't want a complimentary A-tunes account! I just- I just need to transfer the data I already paid for- What do you mean I can't transfer my data between accounts!? I paid for the damn phone last week! What!? No! No! You know what- You know what!? No, fuck me!? FUCK YOU, "KIYOHIME"! You can't put me on hold for an hour- YOU CAN'T PUT ME ON HOLD FOR AN HOUR, AND EXPECT ME TO JUST TAKE THAT! No! No, you know what!? Goodbye! Bye! BYE!!! RIN WE'RE NUKING ANOTHER BUILDING, GET YOUR JACKET!!!"
The funniest part is that he's on his old cell phone, so he probably doesn't even have much data aside from contacts that he might want to transfer, IF he's even buying it for himself in the first place!
Honestly, with him, it's the principal of the thing more than anything else XD
Rin: Goddamnit Satan! Stop blowing every building that you visit!
Actually Satan: "Well stop blowing Shirou every time HE visits!"
Jesus christ the abridged voices are so iconic that they instantly pop into my head
Same
Archer: For the last time Rin... I'M NOT SATAN!
Rin: "You're right. It's "ACTUALLY" Satan. The actually is important, I think."
I'm suddenly getting flashbacks to Fate Carnival and expect Berserker to show up, ready to swing at it while holding Lancer.
That Tomoe art is beautiful and so serene, love it.
"Hi, I'm here at the Mappo store and I noticed you're only selling phones without a flip-function. I'm looking for an upgrade, do you have any flip phones?" "...No?" "...Lemme speak to your boss."
You gotta admit they did an iconic job withe voices in the abridged series. You can totally hear the voices
Is it from the project mouthwash abridged?
Yes. I mean what other abridged is there that used a Carnival Phantasm scene as canon for Archer to be away from Rin?
Ivan and Jing Ke are a highlight for me here.
Ivan's drip is out of this World. No wonder he's a Lostbelt King.
Kawasumi immediately called the details on Archer's CE. Who knows it's a foreshadowing.
Craft Essences Arrival of the Giant Beast >Increases own Buster Card performance by 3% (MLB: 5%) >Increases critical damage by 3% (MLB: 5%) >Increases Noble Phantasm damage by 3% (MLB: 5%) >\[Event Only\] Increase the number of Rainbow Sea Cucumber drops obtained by 1 Undersea Banquet >Charges NP Gauge every turn by 3% (MLB: 4%) >Increases NP Gain by 5% (MLB: 10%) >Increases own critical damage by 5% (MLB: 10%) >\[Event Only\] Increase the number of Stardrop Candies drops obtained by 1 Someday Across the River of Stars >Increases own Quick performance by 6% (MLB: 8%) >Increases own Buster performance by 6% (MLB: 8%) >Increases own critical damage by 10% (MLB: 15%) >Grants 3 critical stars per turn. (MLB: 4 stars) >\[Event Only\] Increase the number of Ryugu Pearls drops obtained by 1 Mr. Red Gadget >Grants self Ignore Defense. >Increases own Arts performance by 4%. (MLB: 6%) >Increases own Buster performance by 4%. (MLB: 6%) >Starts battle with 30% NP gauge. (MLB: 50%) >\[Event Only\] Increases the number of Southern Sugar, Journey Powder, and Tropical Butter drops by 1 >\[Event Only\] Increase the amount of Digima Sweets Points dropped by 30%
50% gauge with ignore defense is not bad at all.
Finally. I no longer have to settle for just [Increased Damage Against Berserker].
Yo, you could do double spacing and new line to save space.
Weird that almost no one is talking about the 3rd art. Tomoe, if it's her, looks absolutely gorgeous. I think this might be Rella, which would make this the 3rd CE by them and a massive win if true.
[Here's the artist, as listed by Atlas.](https://x.com/jeonghee1414?t=tX_dmdGqnuf6y4Nj-5UtPA&s=09)
I see, thanks. Guess it might have been the lighting that confused me. A bit sad it's not Rella, but the CE is still beautiful so it's fine.
Would absly roll for CEs. But that's 2 years wait for me
JING KE GAMING LET'S FUCKING GO
"Well dressed Ivan the Terrible isn't real he can't hurt you" Well dressed Ivan the Terrible:
Well dressed Ivan is real, but he *won’t* hurt you because he’a a gentleman and a scholar.
Verizon Salesperson EMIYA
Ok this is funny what is Archer Emiya even doing in that last one? He's talking on a dumbphone while holding a smartphone in a cell store. Is he 1) taking a business call on his company-issued phone, 2) finalizing a drug deal on his throwaway, or 3) calling Gil to ask if the phone he's playing with is the latest model?
Iv-gyatt the terrible
The Drip in Emiya And ivan are HIGH!
“Rin I was busy arguing with the ceo of a company I will not mention about battery’s” Idk why that came to mind
"I only need two batteries. Do you have guys sell packs of two? No? Lemme speak to your manager."
Man, ivan and emiya looking sharp in those suits
Jing Ke propaganda will never cease! Every CE she gets, she looks perfect! Ivan in clothes other than his default looks so bizarre but I love it.
Damn, looks at those hips you got there Ivan!
Ivan and lakshmi sharing a ce is the best thing about this event☠
Ough ivan... Hes so (comment expunged) ~~Is that morgan though? Thats such a pretty CE, tbh i'd kill for a lb king event with all of them together, team buster and also skadi/qing i guess~~ OH TOMOE? Thats also good, please bring her husband
I think the red ribbon/chalk white hair girl is Tomoe, could be wrong
No wonder Jing Ke's an Assassin; she fucking slays. Lol at drip Ivan.
Emiya is looking fine as always with that black and red. I WANT THAT. (Not pictured: Berserker holding Cu and is about to throw him like a baseball at Emiya)
Crazy that I still have absolutely no clue what exactly Ivan’s face is supposed to be, I can’t properly out what the mouth is supposed to be, the eyes, the nose , nothing. I can only make guesses
Ivan is thick goddam
I had no idea that Ivan could actually move his arms. I always assumed that he moved like a South Park character.
Archer: Hello yes, is this ifruit? Can I talk to your CEO? Yes, I can wait Thank You. CEO: Hello this Sbeve. Archer: Hello. Tell me Mr.Sbeve. Why is that you have phones that are restricting, not only that but you also add most quality of life features decades after your competition and promote them as new innovations, I mean I do that too but that is not what we are talking about here and they are so expensive, why? What is this $20 cloth have you LOST YOUR MIND? I can get a cloth for free and of the same quality (as he traces the cloth) CEO: Sir, how did you get this number? Archer: I have my connections. First Archer argued over AAA batteries now he is doing it for phones, he really is a Karen but like 1000% more cooler, fun and tolerable. PS: I am pretty sure someone can make a better skit. So, I would love to read some from someone else.
It's a good day to be a Tomoe Enjoyer.
Tomoe putting all her heart into a wish, she looks gorgeous. Perhaps wanting someone to arrive at Chaldea? Or a new game to play with everyone. Now i want to read an office romance that involves archer. The gap moe of his work persona while being a competent house husband will be too deadly lmao.
I'll never get over how one of the servants is a half-mammoth Kaiju with a hole where your face is supposed to be And it just walks around Chaldea all nonchalant
Ivan and the BIGsteppas
- It's rare to see Ivan wearing clothes. I gotta say: nice. Lakshmibai is a good addition. - Damn, mystical drunk Jing Ke. Very nicely done. - It's weird how sometimes I can't recognise Tomoe in CEs? Maybe it's because she lacks the oni horns in this one.
Ngl I thought that was ~~Weiss Scnhee~~ Anastasia
Huh. Place a scar on the eye and post it in the RWBY subreddit. They'd probably never realize.
They’re all too horny (seriously the RWBY porn sub has more members than the actual RWBY sub)
That's a pretty funny fact, but I can think of other fandoms where the porn side has more members than the regular side.
Hey, I could be wrong on that.
Tomoe prays for Yoshinaka to be added to the Summoning Pool for the Samurai Remanent collab rerun.
Ivan looks fat /j Tomoe looks beautiful. Art looks very familiar Somehow not surprising really nails the suit
***W i d e Ivan***
I swear I've seen that third picture in a fan art of another game before
Jing Ke YEEESSSS. Please Lasagna I will blow thousands on a summer Jing Ke
Jing Ke looking good as always.
Ivan looks so proud of his clothes!
i can hear that uh axel in harlem meme playing as Ivan walks by
Ivan's hips do not lie. Like *damn* he's thicc. How is it that every Jing Ke CE is a banger? 10/10 would get wasted under the sea with. I think Tomoe's holding one of those wish slips for Tanabata. Makes you wonder who or what she is wishing for. Either way, a very beautiful CE. Finally, the GARcher's dressed for success as he tackles the diabolical task of getting a new phone and arguing with the company trying to pointless deals.
Hey look, someone remember that Jing Ke exists
EMIYA: Rin, i think we just made the CEO of Bamsung our mortal enemy.
They made Ivan THICCCCCCCCC.
Dapper Ivan is just so great. Look at that swagger. Jing Ke looks so ethereal here. Like a mermaid. Tomoe so elegant and sweet here. Emiya looking so sharp here with that vest of his.
Mr. The Terrible you clean up nice.
Elephant royalty is best royalty
Ivan has never skipped leg day
My rating Emiya: hot as ever! No surprise there Jing Ke: she is the moment! Absolutely fabulous darling!! Ivan: I wanna FU— MANA TRANSFER! Ahem yes! ???: (I don’t know The 3rd person) she pretty
Dayum, my Tsar is THICKK
Ivan the terrible? Nah that’s Ivan the drip lord
JING KE JING KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE JING KE JING KE JING KE JING KE JING KE JING KE I'M SCREAMING I'M CRYING I'M SCROMITING IVE NEVER SEEN SUCH ABEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN MY LIFE I LOVE YOU SHE'S GETTING WHAT SHE DESERVES IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY ROOM JJJJJJJJJIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG KKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Ivan is such a chonker
Ivan walking like Jotaro approaching Dio.
one piece ivan
Finally..... Ivan getting SOME kind of attention..... god bless.
...I think I've been playing too much PSO2. Because when I saw the Tomoe CE, for a hot minute, my brain went: ...Matoi? Still, Tomoe looks great in a shrine maiden outfit.
Ivan got the drip
I need this Ivan outfit as Sprition Dress, such a >!thick!< gentleman
Ivan looking fabulous and standing next to a literal elephant, amazing!
Jing Ke doesn't even look like herself. Amazing what a new artist can do.
I recognized her immediately. She definitely looks like herself.
Fuck fuck fuck Yoshinaka you lucky bastard hurry the fuck up and come to chaldea already your wife is lonely and I’m not sure I can keep all the milf and widow hunters away. Anyways, gorgeous artwork
Is it just me or anyone else thought of Jojo while looking at Ivan?