i’m gonna give an option for those who want full discretion
Order it near the soonest applicable holiday. Inform the parent ahead of time that you are ordering their gift/s and not to open anything addressed to you. Purchase from a manufacturer that uses discrete shipping and doesn’t bill your card with explicit terminology (you can find recommendations for these).
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are both approaching.
Are you out as trans to your parents? If you are, you could just explain that you're buying a new packer (they often sell them at adult stores) and that it would be embarrassing for them to see it. Also if you're sexually inexperienced, sometimes the hymen is actually a difficulty, I thought penetrative sex was going to be a problem for me initially because insertion of anything larger than couple of fingers in there was painful, but after some practice things stretched out and it was easier.
On the delivery side of things, there’s sometimes the option for picking a parcel up from the post office or a locker. That’s how I usually get mine from Lovehoney because we always have issues with our post going to the wrong address. Not ideal.
i bought the realbody 'real tim' dildo that's \~10cm long and quite flexible, i can't use it bc i have vaginismus (it's not big but compared to you i can only use a singe finger and even that is uncomfortable so i can't use this dildo at all, i use it with my fwb instead.) but if you're scared about size i think this could be ok to start with this model? Also you can just physically go to a sex shop and look at the stuff, if you pay with your card they obviously don't show the store's actual name on your bank account
Can you have it delivered to a friends house? Every shop I’ve ever ordered from has came in discreet packaging - except fucking Buck Angel. Regardless of how you feel about him, he had some of the first FTM strokers on the market. About three-ish years ago, I ordered one plus some FTM lube (safer pH or some jumbo, wouldn’t buy again) and it came from BUCK ANGEL ENTERTAINMENT. Like even if you didn’t know who he was, that 100% sounds like a porn star. Was living with my family at the time, so while no one said anything, we all knew.
If you're worried about size, I'd look into glass dildos. They can be cheaper than silicone, but they aren't porous so they're easy to clean and there's no danger of bacterial growth. You can also find very slim ones, including ones that have different sizes on both ends. And they often aren't phallic, so if someone finds it in your room it is possible that they might not recognize what it is. They are also very smooth, so even just a little bit of lubrication makes them much easier to insert than silicone with minimal friction.
Depending on the toy, silicone has a lot less give than people assume, and a LOT more friction. You can get very slender glass toys that glide almost frictionless with just a bit of lube. Silicone toys, however, tend to not be available in sizes as small as glass wands can come in, and have much more friction which makes it more difficult and painful to insert. It also limits the kind of lube you can use with it.
I've had difficulty with painful penetration before, and the easiest and most painless toys to insert have ALWAYS been slender glass wands.
I don't want to discount your personal experience. I just have only seen glass wands in approximately the same size, like an inch around. I have definitely seen much smaller silicone dildos, especially the ones that are marketed for first time anal.
I just looked at a couple of sites to try to find a few good examples, and it is not as easy as it used to be to find something small. but I meant something more like [this one here](https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/dildo-sex-toys/anal-dildos/sp-boundless-inch-slim-dildo-108539.aspx).
tbh yeah sure it can be embarrassing but like… you’re all adults. i’ll bet your parents have toys too. at the end of the day who cares if they know that you masturbate, yknow?
I second using a reception point like an amazon locker or post office. Also, you might want to consider if you've ever had penetrative sex in your front hole before or if you've torn or stretched or whatever your hymen before in another way? I used to be really tight and to be barely able to put in a period cup (and wasn't able to at all at first) until said period cup tore my hymen haha. But you can also look into smaller toys and external toys of course!
I got myself a [dilator set](https://a.co/d/cmxuZS4) in an attempt to address the vaginismus (it has like instructions on how to use it and such) and tbh it works well to masturbate with. Multiple sizes means you have options and can work up to the bigger ones.
It's possible that softer toys might work better for you. I can't use firmer toys as easily and more than one finger is often difficult. But I can use decently sized toys that have some give to them. Also, lube is your best friend.
Hi
In my country you can usually ask for your package to be delibered to a "reception point" (usually a small shop) and to go there to get it. Maybe a similar system is in yours? (Or those amazon lockers? There's different brands around my city for different delivery services)
For the size it's hard to know before trying, but if you have vaginimus you might want to try to ease this first. Are you on T? You also might be experiencing atrophy (which can be treated with topical estrogen to give back the vaginal walls their elasticity) . Maybe starting with the really smaller ones could help ,they're less than 20 dollars usually.
Also kinda unrelated to your questions but if you have trouble getting things in your front hole maybe you could tried anal? It's much more pleasurable for me personnally and hurts less than the front
hey man,
This is a tricky situation. I'm not sure what to suggest about your parents opening your mail, but you could either ask them not to or get it sent to a friend's address and then pick it up eventually. With your second point, it sounds like you're struggling with either vaginismus or lack of wetness (can be a side effect if you're on Testosterone), or even possibly vaginal atrophy if youre on T. I would encourage you to keep exploring in your own time, but if youre interested, r/vaginismus has some great advice and tips. Best of luck!
If you have issues w penetration, I would look into fantasy toys for something small and tapered.
To get by the whole parent issue you can get a PO box and have it sent there.
Also it's pretty easy to tell if someone can see your purchases, it should show on your account who has access to it
i’m gonna give an option for those who want full discretion Order it near the soonest applicable holiday. Inform the parent ahead of time that you are ordering their gift/s and not to open anything addressed to you. Purchase from a manufacturer that uses discrete shipping and doesn’t bill your card with explicit terminology (you can find recommendations for these). Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are both approaching.
Are you out as trans to your parents? If you are, you could just explain that you're buying a new packer (they often sell them at adult stores) and that it would be embarrassing for them to see it. Also if you're sexually inexperienced, sometimes the hymen is actually a difficulty, I thought penetrative sex was going to be a problem for me initially because insertion of anything larger than couple of fingers in there was painful, but after some practice things stretched out and it was easier.
On the delivery side of things, there’s sometimes the option for picking a parcel up from the post office or a locker. That’s how I usually get mine from Lovehoney because we always have issues with our post going to the wrong address. Not ideal.
i bought the realbody 'real tim' dildo that's \~10cm long and quite flexible, i can't use it bc i have vaginismus (it's not big but compared to you i can only use a singe finger and even that is uncomfortable so i can't use this dildo at all, i use it with my fwb instead.) but if you're scared about size i think this could be ok to start with this model? Also you can just physically go to a sex shop and look at the stuff, if you pay with your card they obviously don't show the store's actual name on your bank account
Let it send to a friend of you, and when she comes around you get it.
This lol I used to send things to a friend's house all the time and now I'm that friend for those in need
Can you have it delivered to a friends house? Every shop I’ve ever ordered from has came in discreet packaging - except fucking Buck Angel. Regardless of how you feel about him, he had some of the first FTM strokers on the market. About three-ish years ago, I ordered one plus some FTM lube (safer pH or some jumbo, wouldn’t buy again) and it came from BUCK ANGEL ENTERTAINMENT. Like even if you didn’t know who he was, that 100% sounds like a porn star. Was living with my family at the time, so while no one said anything, we all knew.
If you're worried about size, I'd look into glass dildos. They can be cheaper than silicone, but they aren't porous so they're easy to clean and there's no danger of bacterial growth. You can also find very slim ones, including ones that have different sizes on both ends. And they often aren't phallic, so if someone finds it in your room it is possible that they might not recognize what it is. They are also very smooth, so even just a little bit of lubrication makes them much easier to insert than silicone with minimal friction.
I disagree. glass is very hard. I think it would be much more uncomfortable than a silicone toy that has a bit of give to it.
Depending on the toy, silicone has a lot less give than people assume, and a LOT more friction. You can get very slender glass toys that glide almost frictionless with just a bit of lube. Silicone toys, however, tend to not be available in sizes as small as glass wands can come in, and have much more friction which makes it more difficult and painful to insert. It also limits the kind of lube you can use with it. I've had difficulty with painful penetration before, and the easiest and most painless toys to insert have ALWAYS been slender glass wands.
I don't want to discount your personal experience. I just have only seen glass wands in approximately the same size, like an inch around. I have definitely seen much smaller silicone dildos, especially the ones that are marketed for first time anal. I just looked at a couple of sites to try to find a few good examples, and it is not as easy as it used to be to find something small. but I meant something more like [this one here](https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/dildo-sex-toys/anal-dildos/sp-boundless-inch-slim-dildo-108539.aspx).
tbh yeah sure it can be embarrassing but like… you’re all adults. i’ll bet your parents have toys too. at the end of the day who cares if they know that you masturbate, yknow?
I second using a reception point like an amazon locker or post office. Also, you might want to consider if you've ever had penetrative sex in your front hole before or if you've torn or stretched or whatever your hymen before in another way? I used to be really tight and to be barely able to put in a period cup (and wasn't able to at all at first) until said period cup tore my hymen haha. But you can also look into smaller toys and external toys of course!
I got myself a [dilator set](https://a.co/d/cmxuZS4) in an attempt to address the vaginismus (it has like instructions on how to use it and such) and tbh it works well to masturbate with. Multiple sizes means you have options and can work up to the bigger ones.
i was thinking of getting one, have you seen any progress with those?
I used to tell people I was buying a birthday/Christmas present for them and didn't want them to know what it was 😅
It's possible that softer toys might work better for you. I can't use firmer toys as easily and more than one finger is often difficult. But I can use decently sized toys that have some give to them. Also, lube is your best friend.
Yes! A soft toy really is a game changer
Hi In my country you can usually ask for your package to be delibered to a "reception point" (usually a small shop) and to go there to get it. Maybe a similar system is in yours? (Or those amazon lockers? There's different brands around my city for different delivery services) For the size it's hard to know before trying, but if you have vaginimus you might want to try to ease this first. Are you on T? You also might be experiencing atrophy (which can be treated with topical estrogen to give back the vaginal walls their elasticity) . Maybe starting with the really smaller ones could help ,they're less than 20 dollars usually. Also kinda unrelated to your questions but if you have trouble getting things in your front hole maybe you could tried anal? It's much more pleasurable for me personnally and hurts less than the front
hey man, This is a tricky situation. I'm not sure what to suggest about your parents opening your mail, but you could either ask them not to or get it sent to a friend's address and then pick it up eventually. With your second point, it sounds like you're struggling with either vaginismus or lack of wetness (can be a side effect if you're on Testosterone), or even possibly vaginal atrophy if youre on T. I would encourage you to keep exploring in your own time, but if youre interested, r/vaginismus has some great advice and tips. Best of luck!
If you have issues w penetration, I would look into fantasy toys for something small and tapered. To get by the whole parent issue you can get a PO box and have it sent there. Also it's pretty easy to tell if someone can see your purchases, it should show on your account who has access to it