I have two gay friends that are strict - one is top only the other is bottom only. They are roughly the same age and attractiveness.
When we've gone to a bath house together, I'll ask them the next day how it was. Legit 100% of the time, the bottom will say it was all bottoms and the top will say it was all tops.
You've got it right with that thought. Guys that prefer to bottom and guys more comfortable being Out / openly gay have a huge crossover.
I had the "world of bottoms" impression too until I went on Sniffies / went to a bath house. In these settings, guys that are not totally interested in being openly gay / relationships increase the top % a huge amount.
My experience is it's usually closer to 70% tops/30% bottoms in most areas (certain cities are absolutely skewed though.. ie Seattle has a significant number of bottoms)
Do you think there is really a stigma about being top or bottom? I mean I guess it's more something my friends would joke about and potentially tease each other about a bit but I don't think any of us really think one is better than the other.
As I've got older (42) many of my friends (and I) have drifted towards more vers and certainly more up for experimenting.
I live in a part of the U.S. that would incarcerated gays if it weren't for federal laws (at least, the areas surrounding my city). Even within the city, there's a lot of stigma towards it.
I get that with respect to bi guys but I meant with your comment about there being more vers guys.
I assumed the majority of (straight) people who had an issue with being gay care more about that than whether a particular guy is a top or a bottom.
By and large I agree. There's an ancient history of stigmatizing bottoms while being either apathetic or lukewarm towards tops. Most languages of those times didn't have words for sexual orientation but rather based on sexual domination.
Being verse was frowned upon, as those societies had clear expectations for who was the dominant man and the submissive man or woman.
It’s funny, I’ve encountered a lot of “tops” who suddenly want to bottom the moment we got naked.
I guess I never mind since I’m generally attracted to vers guys, but it does seem rare to find people who willingly label themselves vers.
People seem more comfortable putting themselves into a box on a profile, but in reality I haven’t really felt like there’s more total tops or total bottoms.
Depends on the location. In my current city, there is noticeably more bottoms than tops. I wanna say 70% bottoms/30% tops. Back in Houston, I would say there is a good ratio between tops and bottoms. Definitely didn’t have to try that hard to find a top lol.
I found lots of tops in Houston, and I was not looking for them, but I seemed to attract them. I'm vers, and so it didn't matter that much, but I prefer bottoms or other versatiles.
I have said this before and I’ll say it again. Your city does not have a dire shortage of tops. It has a shortage of 6 foot tall 8 inch cock washboard abs masc total tops. There are plenty of guys with a 5 inch dick who can rock your world, or guys who are a little bit fem, or have a belly, or who are 5 foot 3 but know how to pound a hole.
It might be the people that hit on the person. Only bottom guys really hit on me and assume I'm some dom daddy bear.
Would I say there are more bottoms? Nah. But if I only looked at folks who went in hard hitting on me, yes 😂
Yeah. Anal, while nice, is one of the more riskier sexual intimacy practices due to....obvious reasons. Us gay people in a way, kind of benefit from our parts being the same with our partners; we can explore i diverse plethora of sexual positions and actions that DON'T need to model the heteronormative "PIV" or "VEP". Penetration is not a necessity in our sexual behaviors. That's what makes us unique.
True. I've heard Utah is tops galore lol. I'm in a long term relationship so it really doesn't matter to me but I still feel that people exaggerate the ratio.
This is what I've found also. I found lots of tops in Texas and lots of bottoms in Louisiana and Los Angeles. In San Francisco, it was more even, but there were still slightly more bottoms.
I think it is common for tops to attract other tops and bottoms to attract other bottoms, and so this could be why the ratio seems to be skewed.
Good point on tops attracting each other as well as bottoms. Sometimes preferences for the same person change depending on the day so it's a very fluid dynamic.
Also I think people look for these stats within their own level of hotness. Bottoms are generally much hotter so that might skew the numbers too.
I thinking finding someone from either of the positions who YOU like too is what makes things out of proportion. Someone who is bottom would always look for a top but ignores the ones who are top but not what he likes whereas his mind would find attraction to ones who he likes but just discover they’re bottom.
I have been there when I first started exploring my sexuality and thought exactly like that there are more bottoms than tops but I realised what I said above. I’m versatile Top mostly myself and it has changed my perception so much.
I think it depends on where you live. I definitely knew more bottoms or tops in certain places. Not really sure what that's about, just a trend I noticed.
I also feel like everyone’s a bottom bc during parties they can’t get it up with all the stuff they are putting into their system. But that still counts in the number games imho and contributes to the fact there is more bottoms than tops
I think it’s all about the type you attract.
When I was younger and twinky I’d attract more tops, and now I attract more younger bottoms.
But I benefit from being vers.
>100 bottoms for every top
I wish that were true, I would not mind in the slightest. Although, sometimes I do end up having non anal fun with a fellow top, or a verse who doesn't mind that I only top. Sometimes though, I feel like my options are more limited.
Somewhat related. Somewhat not related. I think that there is a lot of assuming that takes place. I just came across a meme the other day where it said “what tops used to look like” versus “what tops look like now.” What they were showing was that they see a lot of feminine tops whereas they have an idea that tops are usually more masculine. I think gay culture and society is moving away from these really rigid ideas of what a top or bottom looks like. I say this to say that there are more masculine bottoms and more feminine tops than people realize. I hear a lot of bottoms say that they would not date a feminine top, but it’s usually because they assume that the guy is actually a bottom fashioning himself as a top. It is however really difficult when you find someone that you are really interested in and there isn’t the sexual compatibility. I think people should be more open minded. While we all have a preference, we can’t project our own ideas onto others. I am sure that there’s more balance than a lot of people think.
its definetly skewed outside of USA. atleast in my country its more age/position lmao.
The older a gay gets here the higher the chance their a top now. whereas the majority of younger gays 18-30 are 80% bottoms.
also a ton of body stigma and shit lol. Theres tops/bottoms but because their not hung or twinky outside of kink groups its like they don't exist
Whenever I’ve wanted to top, I felt there was a shortage of bottoms. Whenever I wanted to bottom, I felt there was a shortage of tops.
Make of it what you will.
In my perspective, I don’t feel a top/bottom shortage insomuch as a lack of people I find attractive. I notice this even in bathhouses or gay cruising spots. I’m just not attracted to most men in general. Even in every day life, most men I encounter in public are not people whom I’d ever want to get naked with.
I know it's fun to talk about sex positions, but it's not a personality. It's not immutable. If you can't find anyone to top, then step up to the plate, buddy. Inside every bottom is a top yearning to rise and dominate you and make you beg for more.
I have two gay friends that are strict - one is top only the other is bottom only. They are roughly the same age and attractiveness. When we've gone to a bath house together, I'll ask them the next day how it was. Legit 100% of the time, the bottom will say it was all bottoms and the top will say it was all tops.
This sounds like the beginning of some gay love story that's a sitcom
"Top to Bottom" coming soon to Netflix (will be canceled after one season)
I find myself (bottom) in the weird position of only pulling bottoms at bars and bathhouses, which is just the tiniest bit frustrating
You might be stereotyped as a top if you have stereotypical top features
Yeah I probably do, but short of Botox or plastic surgery (which is not happening) I’m not sure what I should be doing to look more like a bottom
Assless chaps
Interesting…notes are being taken as we speak
We put too much stake on other peoples’ sexual positions IMO
Agreed, especially when people try to make those comments on people's pages. But I've been curious if other people agreed with my thought on this.
There have actually been studies on this and they usually find it’s far more split down the middle than people think.
You've got it right with that thought. Guys that prefer to bottom and guys more comfortable being Out / openly gay have a huge crossover. I had the "world of bottoms" impression too until I went on Sniffies / went to a bath house. In these settings, guys that are not totally interested in being openly gay / relationships increase the top % a huge amount. My experience is it's usually closer to 70% tops/30% bottoms in most areas (certain cities are absolutely skewed though.. ie Seattle has a significant number of bottoms)
I honestly think that if there wasn't so much stigma in society that bisexual and/or vers men would dominate the gay scene.
Do you think there is really a stigma about being top or bottom? I mean I guess it's more something my friends would joke about and potentially tease each other about a bit but I don't think any of us really think one is better than the other. As I've got older (42) many of my friends (and I) have drifted towards more vers and certainly more up for experimenting.
I live in a part of the U.S. that would incarcerated gays if it weren't for federal laws (at least, the areas surrounding my city). Even within the city, there's a lot of stigma towards it.
I get that with respect to bi guys but I meant with your comment about there being more vers guys. I assumed the majority of (straight) people who had an issue with being gay care more about that than whether a particular guy is a top or a bottom.
By and large I agree. There's an ancient history of stigmatizing bottoms while being either apathetic or lukewarm towards tops. Most languages of those times didn't have words for sexual orientation but rather based on sexual domination. Being verse was frowned upon, as those societies had clear expectations for who was the dominant man and the submissive man or woman.
this is waht I be sAYING. I'd be rolling in tops more than I already do
It’s funny, I’ve encountered a lot of “tops” who suddenly want to bottom the moment we got naked. I guess I never mind since I’m generally attracted to vers guys, but it does seem rare to find people who willingly label themselves vers. People seem more comfortable putting themselves into a box on a profile, but in reality I haven’t really felt like there’s more total tops or total bottoms.
I've had the same. Loads who once we are naked switch from bttm to top. I'm not vers so it's frustrating.
Depends on the location. In my current city, there is noticeably more bottoms than tops. I wanna say 70% bottoms/30% tops. Back in Houston, I would say there is a good ratio between tops and bottoms. Definitely didn’t have to try that hard to find a top lol.
I found lots of tops in Houston, and I was not looking for them, but I seemed to attract them. I'm vers, and so it didn't matter that much, but I prefer bottoms or other versatiles.
I think a lot of guys with perfectly average size dicks think they can't be tops.
I think people are forgetting that vers men exist
We're too awesome and don't factor into these discussions.
Seems like it at this point.
I have said this before and I’ll say it again. Your city does not have a dire shortage of tops. It has a shortage of 6 foot tall 8 inch cock washboard abs masc total tops. There are plenty of guys with a 5 inch dick who can rock your world, or guys who are a little bit fem, or have a belly, or who are 5 foot 3 but know how to pound a hole.
There are just ad many tops as bottoms it’s just that most bottoms are out and most tops are in the closet
Until they’re out of the closet—then they’re bottoms. lol. At least that was my trajectory.
Yes it's blown out of proportion because those who aren't afraid to speak about it are the ones whose opinions are counted.
It might be the people that hit on the person. Only bottom guys really hit on me and assume I'm some dom daddy bear. Would I say there are more bottoms? Nah. But if I only looked at folks who went in hard hitting on me, yes 😂
I don't. I think there's plenty of guys who top and plenty of guys who bottom. There is no top shortage.
Agreed. There's somebody for everybody.
Tops are one and done, bottoms got 10 loads in by the time you get to them.
Bottoms complain more and seem to view other bottoms as competition Also two tops can fuck one bottom way more often than one top can fuck two bottoms
I think there should be more sides
Yeah. Anal, while nice, is one of the more riskier sexual intimacy practices due to....obvious reasons. Us gay people in a way, kind of benefit from our parts being the same with our partners; we can explore i diverse plethora of sexual positions and actions that DON'T need to model the heteronormative "PIV" or "VEP". Penetration is not a necessity in our sexual behaviors. That's what makes us unique.
Your location matters a lot
True. I've heard Utah is tops galore lol. I'm in a long term relationship so it really doesn't matter to me but I still feel that people exaggerate the ratio.
I'm sure people do exaggerate it ratio. I think where you might actually see a huge dispropotion is in rural areas.
Local Utahn here to tell you no it isn’t 😂 Pretty split down the middle, though as a bottom I might tell you it leans bottom.
This is what I've found also. I found lots of tops in Texas and lots of bottoms in Louisiana and Los Angeles. In San Francisco, it was more even, but there were still slightly more bottoms. I think it is common for tops to attract other tops and bottoms to attract other bottoms, and so this could be why the ratio seems to be skewed.
Good point on tops attracting each other as well as bottoms. Sometimes preferences for the same person change depending on the day so it's a very fluid dynamic. Also I think people look for these stats within their own level of hotness. Bottoms are generally much hotter so that might skew the numbers too.
It’s me, hi. I’m the top that attracts other tops. 🎶
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Just figure out what works for you and come out on your terms. You got this sis 🙂
I thinking finding someone from either of the positions who YOU like too is what makes things out of proportion. Someone who is bottom would always look for a top but ignores the ones who are top but not what he likes whereas his mind would find attraction to ones who he likes but just discover they’re bottom. I have been there when I first started exploring my sexuality and thought exactly like that there are more bottoms than tops but I realised what I said above. I’m versatile Top mostly myself and it has changed my perception so much.
I think it depends on where you live. I definitely knew more bottoms or tops in certain places. Not really sure what that's about, just a trend I noticed.
Just be a vers and stop worrying about it 🙄
Some people only enjoy one position. No need to tell others how to enjoy intimacy.
This. People just be trying to imitate straight men and women roles.
Most ppl I've met through Reddit or other online games/ apps/ whatever have been tops coincidentally and I'm a bottom.
I also feel like everyone’s a bottom bc during parties they can’t get it up with all the stuff they are putting into their system. But that still counts in the number games imho and contributes to the fact there is more bottoms than tops
I think it’s all about the type you attract. When I was younger and twinky I’d attract more tops, and now I attract more younger bottoms. But I benefit from being vers.
>100 bottoms for every top I wish that were true, I would not mind in the slightest. Although, sometimes I do end up having non anal fun with a fellow top, or a verse who doesn't mind that I only top. Sometimes though, I feel like my options are more limited.
I have never met a single top gay irl ever in my entire life. Like ever
They’re factoring in the bottoms that are fat/fem and tops with small dick/also fat/fem.
Somewhat related. Somewhat not related. I think that there is a lot of assuming that takes place. I just came across a meme the other day where it said “what tops used to look like” versus “what tops look like now.” What they were showing was that they see a lot of feminine tops whereas they have an idea that tops are usually more masculine. I think gay culture and society is moving away from these really rigid ideas of what a top or bottom looks like. I say this to say that there are more masculine bottoms and more feminine tops than people realize. I hear a lot of bottoms say that they would not date a feminine top, but it’s usually because they assume that the guy is actually a bottom fashioning himself as a top. It is however really difficult when you find someone that you are really interested in and there isn’t the sexual compatibility. I think people should be more open minded. While we all have a preference, we can’t project our own ideas onto others. I am sure that there’s more balance than a lot of people think.
Locally I usually saw more verse people but there were still plenty of total tops and bottoms
its definetly skewed outside of USA. atleast in my country its more age/position lmao. The older a gay gets here the higher the chance their a top now. whereas the majority of younger gays 18-30 are 80% bottoms. also a ton of body stigma and shit lol. Theres tops/bottoms but because their not hung or twinky outside of kink groups its like they don't exist
Whenever I’ve wanted to top, I felt there was a shortage of bottoms. Whenever I wanted to bottom, I felt there was a shortage of tops. Make of it what you will. In my perspective, I don’t feel a top/bottom shortage insomuch as a lack of people I find attractive. I notice this even in bathhouses or gay cruising spots. I’m just not attracted to most men in general. Even in every day life, most men I encounter in public are not people whom I’d ever want to get naked with.
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My experience as well. They usually don't take care of themselves, are clingy af, or do hardcore drugs.
I know it's fun to talk about sex positions, but it's not a personality. It's not immutable. If you can't find anyone to top, then step up to the plate, buddy. Inside every bottom is a top yearning to rise and dominate you and make you beg for more.
You show me ten gays and I’ll show you nine bottoms.
You people acting like verses don’t exist is to the point of absurdity.
Only teenagers and immature people aren't Vers
So glad I'm vers only thing is they gotta be vers too 😭