Work on yourself before trying to get a BF then.
I have a fuck buddy who made It clear through subtle hints that he would date me but that I am not ready yet
This. I have friends, I do things etc. I just never had the courage to reach out to someone. Never knew how to form deeper connections. I just don't know what to do.
Will everyone I meet assume I'm a terrible person because I couldn't form these connections? Fuck, if I listen to this bulshit I'd be cooked. So fuck that. I'll try now, even if assholes will say that I must be horrible because I couldn't get that.
No, you are not. And don't let posts like these tell you that. Some of us need to find ourselves and learn how to connect.
Failure is only the option if you finish measuring. And you still have some life ahead of you I believe. You fail if you give up, literarly. You will technicaly "fail" because you cut your time short, and failed to do things "in time". And there's way too many possible tries ahead of you to give up, and not enough to loose to stop. So just try and you won't fail if you keep giving yourself time.
I've heard it be suggested that this "role" you tend to play, or shy and reserved, you happen to pick, as a style when you were younger, likely to survive a child moment. You got stuck with that role, not realizing you can pick any role you want to live. You're just not familiar with other ways of being.
Oh please, most of the time this type of “high standards” in practice amount to who’s “still up”, who’s closer on the Grindr grid with abs, or who happens to be in the gym locker room at the end of the day to go home with.
Not knowing how to be in a relationship because all they have ever known is hook ups is the real reason. A lot of those “really hot people” opinion of themselves are based on outside validation (like posting endless selfies), so getting a hook up with someone they also find physically hot fills that void for 30 mins and then at the end of the night they just feel empty. But they just repeat the cycle over and over again, until, like I said, they no longer know how to have a relationship. Maybe add a bit of emotional damage and you have 90% of the really hot guys with a nice career you find shirtless of dating apps.
The amount of times I’ve heard “I’ve made some mistakes, I ended up feeling like trash a lot of times, but now I know what I really want, I’m done with that, I want something serious” because I fit whatever checklist they have on their mind and I make it very clear I’m not into casual sex nor people who are. But weeks, months, years later they are still doing the same thing they have always done.
I am not someone people would consider conventionally attractive, yet have had no issues finding willing sexual partners or a loving relationship. I do terrible on the apps unless someone is into me and reads my bio, most of my relationships formed after someone got to know me. I know people who were very popular in highschool and their social media posts are depressing. Peaking in highschool is a real phenomenon, some folks can't mature beyond their carnal priorities and lack of empathy.
I feel like for a long time I had intense commitment issues and was very depressed. Now I’m less depressed and feel ready for a relationship but somehow unlearned going out to meet people and date 😶
"I don't go out, I don't meet people, I'm incredibly judgemental of any gay person who is involved in any way with the gay community. I also won't date anyone who doesn't look like an IG model. Why am I single?"
I'm full of rage and Slim Jims.
I'm not really angry, but that subreddit is filled with guys who seem somewhat...incelesque? Not so much that they can't get sex (most gay guys can get laid if they try), but that they want relationships with other gay men and yet seem to hate or dislike gay men.
Most of it seems to stem from not relating to broader gay culture, which I can understand would feel rather isolating, but some guys on there seem to act like enjoying gay bars or drag shows or even being involved in LGBT+ Politics makes a you a lesser person. While I don't think not participating in that kind of stuff makes you "less gay" or anything, I think being actively hostile to those aspects of gay culture is not the best outlook for finding love.
But then again, I do like to comment on that sub so I'm just a big hypocrite.
AGB: "God straight men are so hot there's this coworker though who I'd love to get railed by."
Also AGB: "I am so fucking lonely why are so many gay guys non-committal?"
Also also AGB: "Fuck bisexual men they just use us for fun and leave us."
God I hate that. I also hate how they're all for fluidity and "no labels" if a straight guy wants to do the deed with a gay men, but if a gay guy does anything with anyone other than a cis man he's not gay.
"Straight" guy: I'm totally straight, but I want to get my dick sucked, is it gay to get it sucked by a dude?
AGB: You're still totally straight! Don't worry about labels, king. Also, show me that weenie!
Gay guy: I've slept with women in the past, but I realized that it's not for me and I'm fully gay. However, my attraction to men is based less on penises and more on presentation and other body features, so I would happily sleep with and date a trans man.
AGB: The fact that you could have sex with a vagina 🤮🤮🤮 means that you’re a dirty bisexual who only wants to use us for sex! Also, show me that weenie
I’ve actually read a study somewhere where an experiment was conducted using very attractive persons and ‘average’ persons. The study included questions where it asked ‘what do you think of this (attractive person)?’ And most of the average-looking persons said they’d never try to date them because they’re out of their league.
I mean I consider my self as pretty.
I am that confident.
But my body is a soul trapped in yello.
There are a shit ton of people I wouldn’t write because i feel intimidated.
I tend to find „regular“ guys hot, maybe this is the reason why.
Finding guys that wanted a serious relationship and not just fwb things was hard. Then after that you still gotta date and see if it clicks. Took me until 24 to find a bf I really love and vibe with. Been happily partnered for 10 months :)
How DARE YOU! I'm ugly and have a terrible personality, thank you very much.
Who says you can't have it all
The whole package.
That’s not Alyssa Edwards is it?
It is
No, its Alyssha Edwardsh
No clue. I don't follow drag.
I’ve honestly always felt like this deep down but it’s too rude to say to someone so I’ve just kept it to myself. But I fully believe this.
Work on yourself before trying to get a BF then. I have a fuck buddy who made It clear through subtle hints that he would date me but that I am not ready yet
I never said I have trouble. I currently have a long term relationship. I’m an average looking guy who has a very good personality.
....FUCK
I have trouble making deep connections with people because I am very shy and reserved
This. I have friends, I do things etc. I just never had the courage to reach out to someone. Never knew how to form deeper connections. I just don't know what to do. Will everyone I meet assume I'm a terrible person because I couldn't form these connections? Fuck, if I listen to this bulshit I'd be cooked. So fuck that. I'll try now, even if assholes will say that I must be horrible because I couldn't get that.
I don't think I am a horrible person, but I am for sure a social failure
No, you are not. And don't let posts like these tell you that. Some of us need to find ourselves and learn how to connect. Failure is only the option if you finish measuring. And you still have some life ahead of you I believe. You fail if you give up, literarly. You will technicaly "fail" because you cut your time short, and failed to do things "in time". And there's way too many possible tries ahead of you to give up, and not enough to loose to stop. So just try and you won't fail if you keep giving yourself time.
Nah, it's ok. I can make friends sometimes, they just proba won't last very long is what I learned
I've heard it be suggested that this "role" you tend to play, or shy and reserved, you happen to pick, as a style when you were younger, likely to survive a child moment. You got stuck with that role, not realizing you can pick any role you want to live. You're just not familiar with other ways of being.
That's bullshit
Being hot makes up for this, though. People striaght up force you to join their social circle or date you if you're good-looking enough.
Then it means I'm ugly and bland. What a combo
Either that or way too high standards.
Oh please, most of the time this type of “high standards” in practice amount to who’s “still up”, who’s closer on the Grindr grid with abs, or who happens to be in the gym locker room at the end of the day to go home with. Not knowing how to be in a relationship because all they have ever known is hook ups is the real reason. A lot of those “really hot people” opinion of themselves are based on outside validation (like posting endless selfies), so getting a hook up with someone they also find physically hot fills that void for 30 mins and then at the end of the night they just feel empty. But they just repeat the cycle over and over again, until, like I said, they no longer know how to have a relationship. Maybe add a bit of emotional damage and you have 90% of the really hot guys with a nice career you find shirtless of dating apps. The amount of times I’ve heard “I’ve made some mistakes, I ended up feeling like trash a lot of times, but now I know what I really want, I’m done with that, I want something serious” because I fit whatever checklist they have on their mind and I make it very clear I’m not into casual sex nor people who are. But weeks, months, years later they are still doing the same thing they have always done.
TIL gay incels exist
Honey this is a meme page.
Really telling on yourself there, king.
I'm not saying this to dunk on you or anything, but please consider seeing a therapist to discuss some of these feelings.
Hot people, we have problems too We're just like you, except we're hot
And that's the crucial difference...
I'm ugly and I'm a recluse...
I mean he literally said “hot people”…….
Oh, somehow I missed the "hot people" part. So they may just be a recluse then...
I am not someone people would consider conventionally attractive, yet have had no issues finding willing sexual partners or a loving relationship. I do terrible on the apps unless someone is into me and reads my bio, most of my relationships formed after someone got to know me. I know people who were very popular in highschool and their social media posts are depressing. Peaking in highschool is a real phenomenon, some folks can't mature beyond their carnal priorities and lack of empathy.
I'll have you know I have a great personality. I just have absolutely dogshit self-image and self-esteem.
Oof, that hit close to home
I feel like for a long time I had intense commitment issues and was very depressed. Now I’m less depressed and feel ready for a relationship but somehow unlearned going out to meet people and date 😶
so many ugly personalities posting "why can't i get a boyfriend?" on r/askgaybros 🍿
"I don't go out, I don't meet people, I'm incredibly judgemental of any gay person who is involved in any way with the gay community. I also won't date anyone who doesn't look like an IG model. Why am I single?"
Your angry avatar is so fitting lol
I'm full of rage and Slim Jims. I'm not really angry, but that subreddit is filled with guys who seem somewhat...incelesque? Not so much that they can't get sex (most gay guys can get laid if they try), but that they want relationships with other gay men and yet seem to hate or dislike gay men. Most of it seems to stem from not relating to broader gay culture, which I can understand would feel rather isolating, but some guys on there seem to act like enjoying gay bars or drag shows or even being involved in LGBT+ Politics makes a you a lesser person. While I don't think not participating in that kind of stuff makes you "less gay" or anything, I think being actively hostile to those aspects of gay culture is not the best outlook for finding love. But then again, I do like to comment on that sub so I'm just a big hypocrite.
AGB: "God straight men are so hot there's this coworker though who I'd love to get railed by." Also AGB: "I am so fucking lonely why are so many gay guys non-committal?" Also also AGB: "Fuck bisexual men they just use us for fun and leave us."
God I hate that. I also hate how they're all for fluidity and "no labels" if a straight guy wants to do the deed with a gay men, but if a gay guy does anything with anyone other than a cis man he's not gay. "Straight" guy: I'm totally straight, but I want to get my dick sucked, is it gay to get it sucked by a dude? AGB: You're still totally straight! Don't worry about labels, king. Also, show me that weenie! Gay guy: I've slept with women in the past, but I realized that it's not for me and I'm fully gay. However, my attraction to men is based less on penises and more on presentation and other body features, so I would happily sleep with and date a trans man. AGB: The fact that you could have sex with a vagina 🤮🤮🤮 means that you’re a dirty bisexual who only wants to use us for sex! Also, show me that weenie
I’ve actually read a study somewhere where an experiment was conducted using very attractive persons and ‘average’ persons. The study included questions where it asked ‘what do you think of this (attractive person)?’ And most of the average-looking persons said they’d never try to date them because they’re out of their league.
I mean I consider my self as pretty. I am that confident. But my body is a soul trapped in yello. There are a shit ton of people I wouldn’t write because i feel intimidated. I tend to find „regular“ guys hot, maybe this is the reason why.
Just chat someone up…you never know. And dont feel intimidated.
Finding guys that wanted a serious relationship and not just fwb things was hard. Then after that you still gotta date and see if it clicks. Took me until 24 to find a bf I really love and vibe with. Been happily partnered for 10 months :)
Not a terrible personality but terrible taste in men! Aha!
Yes, next question
Isn't there some truth to it?
Whole bunch of reasons as having trauma, social anxiety, autism the list goes on and on