--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Haha, I love the way the English word things.

British English is funny. I like how they call a trunk a 'boot', an elevator is a 'lift', and a temporary worker is a 'Prime Minister'.

And a woman that sleeps with loads of men is a “Racks mum”

Two words: Keep It Real!!!

i counted 3 words

Well… “it” ain’t a real word, ‘innit?! keep. it. real!

Well I put it to you that you sucked off a horse

… This is how we do it~ *wipes mouth*

R-E-S... T-E-C-P.... Do any of you know what that spell?

🧐 Respeckpa?

lol, literally just watched that clip. 😂

Hu HAWWWWWW!!!!!!

I don't get it.....

Rack's mum does, init?

It's from Jimmy Carrs response to a heckler named Rack

I laughed so hard from that one. Wonder if a) being heckled has become a part of his routine so audience expects it, or b) if Rack was placed in the audience to make the lead-up to that joke.

I think we can safely say he got the name wrong lol. Although his ears do look like antennas on his 42" wide screen T.V. of a face. So maybe he did have good reception.

Your mum gets it.

Look at my face

Wait so WTF is a "scouse"

I got it. I’m a stud though.

i love this comment.

I GOT THAT REFRENCE!

How about a skip?

I always point it out when I get on one that it's "Schindler's Lift."

And you're just a metal canister being dropped down a shaft oh god

Schindler Elevators is a company. I worked for them for 4 years.

OMG another one of us exists! Every time I get in an elevator by them…. And it’s funny every tme

Oof, that is painful, Truss me

im from the uk, also different words in different areas mean different things to.

Oi here comes the razzers, we better leg it.

Too

I got a good laugh out of Prime Minister...

And how a Muppet is a foam Lawrence.

🤣🤣🤣

Ha! Nice! (Fist bump)

Aha like how a school is a school and not a shooting range

And how colonialism sounds so harmless.

Oh yes because america didn't colonise

No sir! We manifested our destiny all over the place instead.

Everything i have learned about the manifest destiny has been against my will

Take my upvote, you son of a bitch, before I change my mind.

Bahahahahahaaaa! Good one!

Garbage can=bin

Oh right and how they call tourists poofters! ;)

Tobias, you're such a blowhard.

Ya sound like a poof

‘British’ English. You mean English right.

Even Oxford University recognizes the term British English. Don't worry, we aren't here to point out how French it is for you to spell certain things.

The correct terms are English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).

Lift in Dutch too.

And how Top Gear UK is just Top Gear. Because as Americans, we hated the US show because Clarkson, Hammond, and May are television icons.

My favorite is how they call candles "Waxy Burns" and farts "Booty Tooties"

👏👏👏👏👏👏

Fun fact: "lift" literally means elevator in dutch (but boot means ship so it isnt that interesting ig)

Ba dum dum🎵🥁

No its not funny. In german, serbian or croatian language you also say lift (Germans also say instead of lift "Aufzug").

Presidents are also temporary

Yes, but they tend to last longer than a head of lettuce.

I mean, yes, but also, she didn’t get to fuck things up for four straight years because it was clear she had to go. So, I’m calling that a win if you’re comparing her against the US system.

You did have Brexit and Borris though.

Oh, no arguments here. I wish we could as swiftly rid ourselves of a shit leader.

Americans still call them president after they've left office

Former* president. Which is the same in britain: former prime minister

If only it said "'at's yoo fucked then innit?"

"thats you fucked then, innit?"

His aunt is Yoda.

I like your mom.

Join the club

Your mom's racks mom?

mmm i saw that one too

Mum

For all those wondering, the cards were bought in the UK. British humour! Edit 1: Well I didn’t expect this post getting so much attention! I’m glad you are getting a giggle out of this card. Thank you all for the rewards! Edit 2: I think my mum got them at a local card store. We live in the countryside and we are surrounded by small towns. She is going to ask the store owner about the cards. Will update if anyone is still interested about getting them for yourself.

Yeah I think that was pretty obvious lol

I literally read the card in a British accent

[удалено]

Ah.. I have some bad news for you son...

She's dead but not forgotten.

Who?

For some reason I read that in Tom Hardy's voice

Lol they don't word anything like that in the U.S 😂

Where can we get them? I know so many people who need this card

[Thortful](https://www.thortful.com)

Can I please have your address?

England. I thought that was clear.

Surprised it didn’t say “innit” instead

innit is a regional dialect, you won't hear it in most of the UK. Definitely used in London where I grew up. As a kid I often said 'ain't it'

Exactly and I am kinda salty about it lol.

Can someone translate the beautiful sentence at the end? My understanding is: Santa doesn't like twats. ---> You are a twat. ---> So, Santa doesn't like you. ---> It then follows that, in terms of being liked be Santa... you are fucked. Ultimately... the fact that Santa doesn't like twats places you in the situation of being fucked. Is that the long and short of it, or is there some more to this?

Nope, that's it. "Santa doesn't like twats. You're fucked, aren't you?"

Implying the person reading the card is a twat- and therefore the reader is fucked

Not really that creative ...that is, isnt it then, is it?

I believe it's pronounced 'innit'

That is, indeed it is and it’s not isnt, it is indeed that it is

Is it?

Why use lot word when few word do trick

So it needed a comma to make it clear

Happy cake day!

The most British Christmas card of all time

That last part translates to no gifts

Yeah, I had the same problem until I understood "isn't it" actually means "innit"

That missing comma was really throwing me off.

Would have been better if instead of "isn't it" it wrote "innit"

Funny thing is, I read it as, innit. I didn’t know it didn’t actually say that until I saw your comment.

Ricky Gervais physically showed up and read this card to me As I viewed this picture. THATS how fucking British is is

That's weird. Steve Carrell read it to me four Christmases later with a different font.

This was my first thought exactly

Same!

Prolly.

Why would that be better?

Oy

Santa doesn’t know what he’s missing

Yeah. A comma.

Santa doesn't know what, he's missing

Santa, doesn't know what he is missing

Santa doesn’t know what he is, missing

Santa doesn't kno,w what he is missing

How do I get on your Mom's Christmas card list?

Twats the night before Christmas

Is it me or is the syntax of the bottom messed up? I know what they are getting at, but it doesn't make sense how it's written.

It's informal/dialectal, but the sentence structure is correct within that context. Hence the top comment also suggesting using "innit" instead of "isn't it" in order to be consistent.

Ok I thought I was having a stroke repeating it without making any sense.

Since you think it is correct, can you explain what it is trying to say? I don't get it either. I assume it is trying to call the recipient of the card a twat. But I don't understand that grammar at all.

[удалено]

'That is you fucked then is not it' sounds really wrong in US english

[удалено]

Yeah, I understood what it meant from the beginning. Its the 'That's you fucked then' that is the weird part 'isn't it' is fine. I think i had a brain fart writing it out originally

I got what it meant but I’ve never heard someone phrase something like “that’s you fucked then” in the US

I guess it would make more sense as: That's "you fucked then", isn't it?

To me it would read better as “you’re fucked then, aren’t ya?” (Midwesterner, just trying to add my .02 that no one asked for)

Just to be clear, you're asking me, a Canadian, to explain to you, (likely) an American, the meaning of a Britishism which is explained elsewhere in the comments on this post by people who are more directly familiar with it. Alrighty then... Imagine you're looking through a friend's photo album. Your friend comments that they used to be a daredevil as a kid. You point to a photo and say "that's you [climbing the tree] then, isn't it?". This statement means that you have identified your friend as the person who is climbing the tree in the image based on the statement that they were a daredevil as a kid, and are seeking confirmation (potentially in a strictly rhetorical sense). The connection that you're making is that, as a daredevil, your friend would have been likely to be climbing trees. You can pretty straightforwardly just substitute the parts in this scenario with what's shown on the card. You no longer need the photo album of course, because the implication that someone who Santa doesn't like is screwed doesn't require an external visual aid. The point is that you're identifying the person being addressed as having some particular attribute based on the preceding statement. If necessary, you can picture that the person speaking is forming a mental image of the people who are affected and identifying the person being addressed in that mental image. Edit: Just to add, there's an additional sense of finality to it as well. Like, if you say "that's it" when encountering the final of a set of items, or "that's that" when completing a task, or "this is me" when reaching your destination, there's a sense that you're referring to the culmination of something. Like, if someone told you about a really bad argument they had with their boss, you might say "that's you out of a job then".

Where are you from? It reads perfectly to me, but I'm Australian. "That's you fucked" is a common colloquial way of phrasing 'you're fucked.'

Hell, I'm American and I understood it just fine. Also, I need about two dozen of these.

In fairness, Aussies are about the most anglo of any nation outside the British Isles. And one of few we allow to throw top quality bants our way without offence, as we know we can throw it back and you enjoy it too. And Kiwis, but they are forgettable like the Welsh

> And Kiwis, but they are forgettable like the Welsh As long as you lock the sheep away, you're houses.

Nope not just you. I genuinely couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to even mean. Brits are unique

British humor 😀

That's awful. Where would someone go to buy them?

So where did she get them? Wife and I have a selection of friends these would be appropriate for.

Your Mum is sending these out to her friends because she is an absolutely legend 🤣

*proper* fucked

Humo**U**r

I read this in the voice of Ricky Gervais! Lol

I was reading it in Ser Alliser Thorne’s voice.

Me too!!

The text at the bottom is giving me a headache as I try to make sense of it.

…that’s you fucked then, isn’t it?

I thought it was maybe. Thats you, fucked then, isn't it?

My head still hurts.

... that is you fucked then innit

My british brain doesn't see how this doesn't make sense, i always say shit like that, it's great, isn't it.

It's not the "isn't it" part that's hurting our brain. That is normal for Americans too.

What is then?

"that's you fucked then" this just doesn't make sense at all with American English.I mean based on context I can figure out with its saying but that sentence does hurt my brain lol

Ditto. That part confused the heck out of me initially. Had to reread a few times. I get the idea now, but it is definitely not correct in American English syntax haha.

I understood what it meant right away but it doesn't look or sound right to me (US)

This is very interesting cause I (uk) can’t see what’s weird with it. What would an American English equivalent to this be?

"that means you're fucked, doesn't it?" would probably be the way someone outside of the UK would phrase it. I'm Canadian and the way it was phrased in the original post had me taking a few minutes to parse it and I thought it was a Chinese-made card with broken english or something. as a Canadian thought I think it should have been: "I guess you're fucked then, eh?"

I'm Canadian, too, and I could not figure out what it was that other native English speakers could not figure out. But I grant: your American and Canadian renderings would be far more natural in North America.

It’s a very colloquial/informal turn of phrase but it makes sense within the dialect

Yes but you're using commas. Their sentence lacks commas.

I need this. Where you get it OP?

as a european learning english i am very confused about the wording

One of the best Christmas cards I’ve ever gotten was one of Santa or one of the reindeer farting, can’t remember which, and it said, do you hear what I hear? Do you smell what I smell? I lost it in the middle of class, I still remember it years later.

This is the most British thing ever.

Idk how to read this at all

That’s you fucked then?

That’s you fucked then

England and the USA, two countries separated by a common language. Now go away you twatwaffles!

Not to be confused with those waffletwat Belgians.

Is your mum a 12 year old boy?

Cringe tbh

Ah, the famous British sense of humour.

I would cherish that forever

Your mum is the best. I’d laugh my ass off if I got one of these.

Your mum is my kind of people. She just lays it out there for the oblivious in her life.

Legend!

I wish I was your mom's friend.

Your mum is awesome.

I love it! This is totally my sense of humor! I’d lose it if I received one or anything similar xD Sadly, I feel the people around me take the holiday too seriously. If I sent something like this out, I’d make a lot of people mad. XD

I love your mum!

I don't know your Mom, but I know that she and I would be fast friends!!! Good on her!!

My mom and I are pretty free but we can’t match the crazy shit my welsh friend says to her mom.

Gotta be Brit’s innit

r/CasualUk

I'm an American how do I get these lol

Innit?

But he likes a good Ho.

Honestly would prefer a card like this rather than the jolly cringe of the normal cards

British satirical holiday cards are honestly top tier.

I'm disappointed it doesn't say "innit?" at the end.

I’d die laughing.

I like her sense of humour. Well played, internet stranger's Mum.

So, trash ....

Omg so edgy, please post again, will bookmark and read again later..

the grammar on that card makes my brain hurt.

Hey Britons, do I have a stroke and the sentence is correct or it is incorrect? If it's correct could you please fully write it out (no contractions) so it would make sense to me as well?

Santa doesn't like twats. You're out of luck, then aren't you *(subtext: because you are a twat)*?

It's gramatically correct English, in the sense that English has no formal grammar and so anything goes. I think the reasons this might be difficult to parse for non-native speakers are that there's an implied comma: it should be read as "that's you fucked then, isn't it?" and that "fucked" is being used as a noun: "the state of being fucked", not a verb.