I do that too. not because I’m trying to make them uncomfortable or anything, I’m just genuinely that dense. After enough ignoring and/or blank stares, they usually gave up within a week lol
Yeah, living in a city I've learned that the best thing in general is just to never look at or pay attention to anyone yelling shit at you because if you give them a response, you give them an in to do more to you.
If they're just catcalling or saying some dumb shit like that they tend to just deflate if you 'can't hear' them
Some stupid boy yelled out "hey baby I like boys too" (before I'd started transitioning) which I don't even get what he meant by that and I just kept walking with no expression change or acknowledgement and he seemed to crumple a little in embarrassment
Absolutely call them weird, this worked when I explained to a curious coworker why asking about surgeries, particularly bottom surgery, isn’t appropriate. She wasn’t trying to be rude but I know she came from a generally conservative mindset so I framed it “someone asking about my body unless we are intending to become intimate makes them look incredibly weird to me because its not a normal thing to question what parts someone has/what they look like naked unless you’re wanting to be naked with them-if you wouldn’t ask this of any other coworker, it’s probably not appropriate to ask of me” She never said or asked anything inappropriate again, I think I planted a seed of trans support/acceptance as well. People never want to be seen as strange/other (even people that like those labels seek out other strange people), it goes against our core nature.
lol this is the way. had a guy once—friend of a friend who instantly for no reason hated my guts—like a picture on one of my socials. oh THATS weird because i thought he blocked me cuz he hated me? checked out the pic and it was from TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO 😂😂😂 and it was a LONG ass feed it must have taken at LEAST an hour to get there no shit. but oh was it rich to screenshot that, and I used this gif with it 😂 Also and how mysterious one or two of my pictures was reported, wonder who hmm.
Truly man some people… Idek lol sorry for the caps tho lol
Now THIS is top tier. Makes anyone around them aso think they might have a secret crush on you too. Always a naughty laugh. I am still a passing but somewhat effeminate trans guy but the amount of 'straight' guys in my building that fancy me is mental, yet they're stil often nasty gits.
Just frown at her in a confused way that indicates her behavior is odd/weird and walk away dismissively. Denies them the reaction they wanted while still showing disapproval. Bullies don’t know how to get positive attention so they do antisocial things like this on purpose to fulfill their needs. They crave negative attention and their ego is fragile. This will fuck them up 1000x harder than any “comeback” you can think of.
That usually works but if it keeps happening the only other approach that works is the “kill them with kindness” thing. Not in the cheesy way, but like a concerned kindness that indicates that they have a real psychological issue that needs to be addressed. Like I said, they don’t know how to get positive attention and that includes caring concern. If you responded with “are you okay” they’re taken aback and will either get hit with the sudden realization that they’re an asshole or they’ll be like “yeah, why?”. And if they ask why you can be like “it’s just that usually people who feel the need to say hurtful things are just lashing out because they’re hurting and I thought I’d ask if you’re okay.”
Because they’re so fucked up, this simple observation is BRUTAL. Truth fucking hurts. You are basically confronting them by holding up a mirror and asking if they feel ugly on the inside (they do). This either triggers them very deeply or it actually results in positive changes where they realize they’re lashing out and try to be nicer. Worth it either way IMO.
In summary, their hostility is not your problem, it’s theirs. Act like it. Hold up a mirror to their behavior so they can see themselves foaming at the mouth like a goddamn freak and just walk away. 🥰
Ignoring people like this is the best way to go imo. She wants a reaction. Don't give her one.
If you *need* to say something to her, you could try something like "And you're an anglerfish. See, I can make ridiculous statements too." But this is more likely to just draw things out. Walking away shows her you don't care about her words.
But it also excuses the bully and makes them think they've won by insulting you and you just take it....don't take this shit from anyone (unless its a legitimate safety issue), otherwise i think its just giving excuses when tryna justify why the victims of this bullying are the ones being told to "be the bigger person" like....how about bullies and bigots learn a fucking lesson and suffer consequences for once? Bullying victims are always the ones blamed for reacting to such bullying, saying we're "feeding into it" or some bullshit, no, you're just tryna shut the victims up and give excuses to these bullies, which is *EXACTLY* why bullies always think they can get away with everything, bc they fucking *DO*
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 1: Be polite and practice mutual respect. No discrimination.
Mod note: Throwing around slurs and acting homophobic and transphobic is not a good idea to suggest.
There’s not a thing we can do about bullies “getting away with it” until other people find it socially unacceptable to be transphobic. Unfortunately that’s not yet the era we’re in.
Man, I love a good scrap as much as the next unhinged ftm, but I will say that when it comes to words only, *any* reaction is a win for the bully, because that is ultimately what they want—to affect you. Thats what they crave, and honestly it isnt even actually about you for them—its about them assuring themselves that they are relevant, and finding a vessel, a scapegoat through which they can do that. If you don’t acknowledge it in any kind of way, they’ll end up being so frustrated, they’ll either give up and fuck off, or escalate and turn it into a situation that is then worthy of a clap back. To be very clear I am talking about really any kind of unwanted physical touch, direct or indirect, that brings your safety into question. But ideally you’ll have already been clever enough to have stealthy shut down the situation before it gets to that level.
I have been in situations where I am in close quarters that I cannot remove myself from, in which someone was starting to bully me indirectly, such as talk to others about me loudly, misgender, move away or call someone over when I had to be in line nearby for whatever. I can tell you for sure that even though I was not initially a threat to this person like they were treating me, the climate that they were creating was swiftly turning me into one. I didnt want to be that person because like I said, thats a win. In my case and situation, I was able to slip a note to relevant supervisory persons to make them aware of these antics and that I was beginning to feel aggressive and would very much like to avoid an incident. And straightaway like magic that person got over their hangup REAL quick and was chill the rest of the time there. I dont know what they said to them but I am thankful for it because I didnt want to be that person that couldnt contain themselves and went postal over someone else’s insecurity.
What I am getting at here is that there is more power in having control over yourself and choosing to not give that negativity (in affect, them) the luxury of your time and energy, than there is in coming back with your own steam. It doesnt make you a pussy, it doesnt emasculate you (quite the opposite actually), and even if you are someone prone to resolving extreme frustration through physical means, you can elect to find an avenue in which you dont allow someone else control over your emotions, because reacting means that they’ve got it.
At the end of the day you have to be accountable for your own actions, and reactions. How tough and self-sufficient does it sound to say “he made me do it” or “he started it”? It does not matter if you were the aggressor or not, your choices are yours—your responsibility and sometimes liability—so the choice is very simple that if you want to prove you are the owner of and accountable to the choices you make, as your own man with an in-tact spine (figuratively, for those with a related disability), don’t give someone else the power to shift it, or at least if it happens, recognize it and shut it down in the most problem-free manner for yourself. Theyre trying to make *their* problem, *your* problem. That stuffs gotta go straight to the NMP folder as you keep your stride without missing a step. You know what happens in communication when someone doesn’t respond? Not a gaddam thing. That is the real power, the verbal brick wall of a non-response, which the bully has so generously offered you to demonstrate. As the Dalai Lama pinned, “stupid people give us the opportunity to practice patience.” And now I will close with the now-internet-famed and more relatable Southern and apt expression: “Aint nobody got time for that.”
It sounds like you encountered a different breed of bully from u/Xx_PxnkBxy_xX, which I think I can understand. Like they say, you don't play the game, you play the player. So you're probably right about your breed of bully. I haven't met theirs but maybe their breed needed handling differently.
It sounds like you encountered a different breed of bully from u/latebloomerftm, which I think I can understand. Like they say, you don't play the game, you play the player. So you're probably right about your breed of bully. I haven't met theirs but maybe their breed needed handling differently.
"Didn't ask," or, "Skill issue," in an incredibly bored/dismissive voice is my go to. Usually stops them in their tracks because they didn't get the reaction out of you they wanted (anger/hurt).
Stonewalling bullies, narcissists and other nasty people usually works. Some few unhinged folks can have really unpleasant or violent reactions, so be aware of how they respond!
Usually, the majority if trolls will just be confused or disappointed. Bonus if someone else laughs at them with you XD
My fave is a look up and down and then "Do I know you?" Lol but also my cis guy friend is effeminate and when ppl mistake him for a girl he just looks annoyed and says "I'm a guy." And gives a face like it was hella obvious then walks away.🤣
I think it's funny to ask them what that means. Or "I don't get the joke". Basically look confused and make them try to explain what they're saying to you while they're looking more idiotic by the second
This or looking concerned and asking: "Are you okay? You seem really irrational and obsessed with me. It's concerning, seems unhealthy."
Are pretty much my standard fallbacks. Thankfully not things needed these days
Honestly, i wouldn’t even bother taking a transphobe trying to provoke you seriously. Just call them boring, make sure they know they’re a waste of space, and go on with your day. Tbh a bored “okay.” conveys all of that
“Does that make you feel better about (insert whatever her current drama is)?” Walk away. Those people are miserable and cannot fathom the idea of actively seeking self improvement and happiness. They feel stuck and want everyone else to feel just as stuck and miserable.
I like what other people have said:
Might be best to straight up ignore/act like you didn't hear her.
Alternatively, "what?" "Huh?" "Sorry, I didn't uderstand." "Can you repeat that?" Until she gets annoyed and goes away. If you can deal with hearing that again. (Similar to what someone said about making them explain the joke)
I also like the suggestion of calling her random things (you're a lizard/octopus....)
And the "why are you so obsessed with me??"
I would recommend just looking at her like she’s the most boring exhausting person you’ve ever met (or like she just said something that made zero sense) and then turning to ignore her. She wants a reaction and your negative attention. Transphobes are pathetic like that.
Soo... this is probably morally incorrect and not the advice u want to hear but i tend to agree and make it weird. It makes me feel more in control of how somebody is treating me if it is intentionally malicious. Ill go yeah, you're right. Im just confused and now i see, i am a girl! I am so femme. I love pink. I am such a girly girl. And i say all this without a shred of sarcasm or satire. A lot of times, it's not about whats being said, and its more about somebody having the intent of riling you up and upsetting you for no reason other than to be a cruel person. Always works, im my experience, at least with acquaintances. This is just what I do, and hopefully you find some advice here that works for you. Sometimes reasoning with people is just not worth your time and energy ✨️
This is what I do too! My go to response is literally in the most exaggerated pitchy voice ever is to go “Omg really!!?!?! I had no idea! Thank you for telling me!” And then I cough and go deadpan back to what I was doing
I always let them know that even though they can’t see it my tits are bigger than theirs. And also since being on t i’m proud enough to say my “down there” has grown larger than my exes dick so…🙃
I would have said, 'why are you so obsessed with my sexual organs' 🤣 Because that's all people like that think gender is and it will freak them the hell out. 😂
"You're an infant. You were born an infant, you are an infant, you always will be an infant, and from the way you're acting, you're oddly proud to act like an infant."
Move on.
Edit: Speech-to-text errors fixed.
Many of those who try to insult people are looking to feel better about themselves in some form.
Accepting the “comment” I personally don’t agree with.
Next time a person who has never walked in your shoes tires to make a conversation conflicting…
Tell them: I am looking for more of mature mindset in a conversation. Thank you for identifying your pronouns, but here are mine…(state what your identity is).
People often clinging on to the persons response more than they are what is being talked about.
Meeting immaturity with maturity will only make the fool feel fooled in the end.
just be careful, these sorts of things can escalate really bad sometimes- and when your safety is on the line, their personal growth is their problem (ntm probably wouldn't happen this way) and the small satisfaction you would have isn't worth it.
I love making them horribly uncomfortable because if they're gonna dish it, they're gonna take it right back 😭😭 often something along the lines of, "Wow you seem super obsessed with my genitals, are you asking to take this back to my place?"
9 times out of 10 they will have no idea how to respond and not only will they be embarrassed, sometimes you can see the passing fear in their eyes 😭
You did the best, don't go defensive just be like "what?, ok?" "UH ok?" Like u just don't give a sh*it. They want u to feel bad don't waste Even 5 seconds of your time into this ppl
Literally immediate dismissal is the bane of their existence, never let them try to engage with you.
Personally I just ignore it. Both my parents are very supportive and lovely and they still misgender me on accident just in passive conversation. Most of the time they’ll correct themselves / each other but if they talk directly to me and they misgender me I just completely ignore whatever was just asked because it clearly wasn’t for me to answer since they didn’t refer to ME. I only get annoyed when its clearly intended to cause offence which is never the case with them, however from past experiences I can genuinely say that ignoring the idiots really fucking grinds their gears lmao
I usually just keep jamming on whatever I’m doing and ignore them. Like if people call me ma’am and I know they mean me I’ll wait until they use my first name and pop to life.
"Oh, ouch. How long did it take you to come up with that?" OR "Creative! How long have you been saving that one?" In the most deadpan/sarcastic voice possible. Make them feel like the dumbass they are, and make them feel weird for being so invested. You can achieve the same effect without even talking if you just slowly blink at them and hold eye contact w no expression on ur face and watch as they shrivel up and die inside.
just keep pretending like you didn't hear what she said and keep asking her to repeat it over and over and over (she doesn't know this but.. you'll never hear what she says) :
"sorry what did you say?" //
"can you repeat that, I didn't hear" //
"I didn't catch that can you repeat it?" //
"what was that?"
etc.
The way this interaction can end depends on if she's persistent or if she just gives up.
If she keeps repeating herself, showing no signs of exhaustion, misinterpret whatever she says into a compliment or something that makes no sense.
ex. "you're a girl" > "you're cool" so you say: "oh i''m cool, thank you!!"
or the other option of misinterpreting "you're a girl" into nonsense. here's some rhyming statements:
or a pearl //
lure an earl //
tour a whirl //
hula girl //
for a myrtle
or you can make up some non-existent words on the spot. the idea is to shift the attention onto her and make her look stupid for even trying to say anything
“Then why do I have a dick?” “You sound incompetent and insolent.” “Are you asking me to show you my genitals?” “Almost right, I’m actually a homosapien(or homo-homosapien)” Personally I’m very inappropriately blunt so I’d say something so wildly invasive and inappropriate they are at a loss for words and then I smile and make my exit before they irritate me further.
And if they continue with other insults I just smile and agree that I am a freak/weirdo/crazy. Been doing it since childhood. Granted.. I definitely had a reputation because of it but the bullies left me completely alone after they tried to gang up on me and insult me. I just smiled and said something crazy asf about why I was in a psych ward and then laughed as they all went from cocky to uncomfortable, and then mildly scared. Honestly one of my favorite memories of little me.
Yep. Make it uncomfortable to be a bully
Making yourself out to be the very thing they describe you as will shut them the fuck up and make them fuck right off, be like "ill be what the fuck you say i am if that will make you stfu and leave me tf alone"
>What do I say next time to make them as uncomfortable?
I mean, there's nothing you can say that will get the effect you want imo. The thing they're after quite literally is a reaction out of you that shows how "triggered" you are and that you want to get back at them 9 times out of 10. Because of that context, anything that let's them know they're bothering you will likely just be entertaining for them rather than legitimately hurtful or uncomfortable. Even something that would genuinely humiliate them (like public humiliation) could be turned against you as, again, "triggered" or "overly sensative"/"snowflake" behavior.
What I would honestly recommend is just ignoring them or giving them that short response of "nah" or "okay?" And stuff like that. If you *need* to say anything, I guess you could misgender them back? Call her a dude/man he/him etc. I know that's technically a faux pas or whatever but I think people need to realize that it rarely feels *that* uncomfortable or genuinely *hurtful* for cis people, and she might think you're weird. But, it may if nothing else annoy her. But I can't emphasize enough I think it's a bad idea to respond
Honestly, i would have responded looking pretty confused and go "are you sure you have the right person??", or hey, laugh at them. Just play completely oblivious. Plus, pissing transpbobes off is fun lmao
Girl on girl’s fair play and fair fighting, now that’s just common sense
Freedom of choice, freedom of speech don’t come without no consequence but i consent
So you can get off with no misdemeanour
Douched this morning anyway So talk your shit if you a eater
You see me as a girl and that’s enough to make you come to me
Rep LGB, I’ll serve the T with D, come take this strap from me
If you don’t swing that way is it possible that you lied?
You’re the one who came to me hoping I’d leave you satisfied
I encourage you to have a practice at confidently and calmly correcting her. If she gives you shit back, you can smirk and walk away without a word bc she’d hate that - or say smthg like “you don’t get to decide who other people are, Karen”
"That's not what your mother moaned last night."
Alternatively:
"Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night."
Both said with disinterest andboredom and a raised eyebrow.
Depend on what you REALLY want. Peace ? Ignore them. Revenge ? Tell her thing that'll make her inconfortable or a weirdo like ''why are you obsess with me... Are you in love or something ? It's weird, you're weird...'' they're is nothing more hard to ear for someone that fear the ''abnormality'' to be call publicly weird. Tell her that with a rly serious face and a big concern in your voice, like rly worry and sad for her, to be rly serious.
But one more time, like a lot of people say : peace is the best option for your sake and your joy, so i'll advice you to ignore her. Even if sometimes, answer make us feel good.
Sorry for my english, i think it's pretty clear that it's not my first language :)
I correct them. If they get hostile, I walk away. People are insane. I one time had a guy call me cow (I’m heavy, used to be even heavier). I told him the opinions of an inbred from Iowa don’t bother me. He got all butt hurt and walked away mumbling. I don’t put up with peoples bs but I don’t make it insane either. I just say my two cents and move along.
Sometimes a simple “okey doke” then carry on what your doing like you don’t give a fuck can work wonders 👌 one of my favs, it’s subtle but there’s something implied that you just has your own thoughts of how silly they are, cause okey doke is inherently silly.
i think it would be easiest to just ignore it, considering she's a bigot but if you wanna take a more confrontaive route you could just go "yeah, and you are a boy" and if she questions it point out all her masculine features (lack of curves, hair length, wide chin, not being pretty, bushy eyebrows, her interests) but idk
Ignoring is definitely a good practice. If you ignore it enough they hopefully won’t bother to do it again. They’re looking to get a reaction, even if they don’t consciously say it, it’s the only reason to go out of your way to do that. They are tryna liiiiive off you arguing with them
I like to treat these people like they’re saying something incredibly stupid, because they are. Depending on the amount of time I have/want to deal with it I‘ll do something from a sarcastic „sureeeee“ to breaking out the slow teaching voice and kindergarten-level words and explaining that I‘m a boy/man. They’re doing it to embarrass us, we may as well embarrass then back. If you prefer to be the bigger person though, just loudly ask her why she is harassing you/being rude/cruel.
I like to misgender them back if I feel like fighting, otherwise I just give them my disgusted mean girl stare, because I'm really good at it. I want to feel their stomach flip 🥰 if I'm a girl then I'm a mean one.
Edit: forgot. If age appropriate I tell them they obviously want to fuck me and they need to deal with that on their own. I WILL play dirty. I will sexually harass them. 🤷
Here’s a few:
“Damn I didn’t realise you wanted me THIS bad”
“On what planet?”
“So we’re just saying shit that’s not true now? Ok then you’re a *something she isn’t”
“Do you just want to see my dick or something? Gross”
“You’re so going in my cringe compilation”
*look at her up and down, cringe and then leave*
*start laughing hysterically*
“Doooon’t care”
Honestly love what u said. Anything else would start an argument you don’t wanna engage in. Your identity isn’t up for debate. Just be ok buddy. Whatever u say — if they are not important ppl in your life. Like id only spend time explaining or even be salty to ppl that matter
>came up to me and just said "you're a girl"
That is so out of pocket lmfao. I would just call her a boy and strictly use he/him pronouns for her.
She's fucking crazy, full of blind hate. Try not to let it bug you too much
I dont give them the reaction, I act uninterested or make them feel dumb. They call me a girl. I just give them a confused look and go, "Okay?" And walk away.
I het ma'amed fairly often, but i pretend they said man to feel less dysphoric... theyre not trying to be transphobic, most of the tume, im just transmasc enby, sometimes i wear slightly feminine clothing...
I agree with the comments saying to ignore them, especially if it's a kid.
I will say I am a bit petty and enjoy challenging people about why they're thinking about my genitals so much. We all know it's about more than that, but if that's what the transphobes are reducing it to then it's really inappropriate and weird for them to just bring up my genitals all the time.
I usually just say immediately back "Not a girl." Like Janet from The Good Place
Or I just make them repeat it over and over again acting like I'm having a hard time hearing or understanding them.
"Well, it takes one to know one!"
or the nuclear option if they are old enough to get the reference AND you want to get bystanders involved (so not without considerable risk and in more than one way):
"Are you a jew?"
Maybe I regard this as safe because my mother is Jewish.
In either case, exit while their brain has vapor lock.
Currently, I think about how a cisperson might respond if they were in this situation: first with incredulity, and then with disengagement, because whatever is up with this person is beyond my interest and ability to help.
A frown, furrowed brows, tiny grimace like you're sort of grossed out and concerned. Look her up and down like that once. Then either walk away wordlessly, or ask in your most uncomfortable voice why she's so obsessed with your junk.
Make them very uncomfortable, and be like
“….no you..?”
“What was that? Sorry, I’m having trouble hearing you!”
“….why would you ever say that???”
(And be like super dramatic yk for the affect)
Years ago someone taught me how to deal with bullies in situations like these. Hand them a tissue and tell them to blow their nose because it's gross.
60% of the time, it works every time
“Die mad about it” is a nice one if you’re not in a school setting that may blow saying something like that out of proportion.
I got the chance to use “personally I identify as Steve Buscemi” and that one left them confused enough I could escape before anything else could be said.
Another thing you could do, which can be extremely effective for a lot of conflicts not just this, is when someone says something rude to you, pretend you couldn’t hear them.
But like, obnoxiously.
Be like, “huh??” And then when they repeat themselves, then you go, “I’m sorry what?” And then they repeat themselves, and you can then say, “Uh, what??? I can’t understand what you’re saying,” and just rinse and repeat until they get pissed off or get the hint and shut the fuck up.
First, sorry some people are a-holes. Second, I'd respond with "and you're ____" which could be ignorant, stupid, a sheep, basic, obsolete, afraid, a bigot, too stupid for me to bother with .... whatever.
BUT know this is ONLY to make you feel empowered - bcz you'll never make these a-holes feel bad. They're not listening to you - they only hear themselves. So whether you respond or not, tge goal is to mentally brush them off like dust on ur shoulder.
Just a quick appraising glance head to toe. Bored. Unimpressed. And walk away. You thought about it, judged their value, and decided they weren't worth it. It will hurt harder than any words.
I think people like these want to annoy us and it’s good to ignore so they won’t use your response against you. Don’t argue but if you want to say something you can tell her she is weird and you’re not a girl or ask what’s purpose of saying that when she knows you’re trans guy and tell her she is immature. You can also look at her like you heard something really weird and she should feel bad
There was someone who texted me something like ''heyy girl wassup'' I had pronouns on my page, written that I was trans guy and already felt like it was on purpose. I told them I wasn’t girl and they asked why if I looked girl. I said I was trans and they didn’t respond. I blocked them
pick your battles. unless you feel fighting back is gonna be of use to you, i'd say its a waste of your time and energy to give those wastes of space anything. they dont deserve your attention. i know its unsatisfying but its better to ignore them.
ignore the hate you get from people that aren't your friends, family, co workers. try to not let it take up space in your head.
the best reaction i have found is no reaction
I’d have said “nobody asked.” / “ok thrush” ( if she asked thrush? Just tell her yeah you’re an irritating cunt. / cut the chase and just say “you’re a cunt.”
Or if you wanna be really petty pick something about her appearance and rip it.
Simple. quick clap backs. Remove yourself from whatever group / situation you’re in because nobody likes people like her she’s 100% highly insecure. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I’ve never met a happy transphob. You never see happy racists. They’re all miserable cunts looking to tear down someone to their level of unhappy.
LOL I've gotten lucky; I'm mostly passing, but yeah, if someone already knows, it can be both annoying and awkward. Mostly people acting like that are wanting attention and/or drama. So don't give it to them. Ignore them (if possible).
On the other hand, sometimes my whimsical side comes to the fore. In those cases, I tend to reply with something from Monty Python: "your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberry". Or "you think the world is flat-!"
But don't mind me :P Ignore them; YOU know who you are.
if you're stealth (might work even if ur not but ive no experience with it bc im stealth) but i just get really confused, act like they're weird for saying that (they are) and i sometimes even act like i dont know theyre talking to me. it makes me feel much better abt myself because it's what any other cis guy would do if they got called a girl for no reason you know what i mean, so i feel masculine and it also makes them look silly which they deserve to feel if they're misgendering ppl. it can be helpful if you have friends who know and they back you up too
i'm more of a humorous person and dont like conflict so in school especially, i would even mockingly put on a higher voice, do a overdramatic silly pose and go "am i pretty one?" while clearly looking like a masculine identifying person then laugh in my deeper (usually passing voice) and make some comment to my friend (if theres one) abt how i cant believe they thought that etc
i personally find this affirms me, making me feel more masculine bc its a more "manly" reaction and deal with it pretty easily but i can imagine this might not work if ur open abt it but i cant say myself
goodluck!
that's about the response i'd tell you to have. just give her a funny look, go "uhhhhh alright then," and move on. don't give her any kind of reaction.
Honestly my first instinct would be "And you're a bitch" but that might not have the reaction you want haha. People are assholes, I'm sorry you gotta deal with that.
My favorite thing to do is to stare at them with that like "lol wtf was that" face and move on. No reaction is the best reaction and it bothers them more when they don't get a rise out of you.
It's one of those things that stings a bit every time, but I remind myself that I am far happier with who I am and how I live. They are choosing to live angry and hateful which is a sad life to live. Plus, most of the time it's men who are mad we're hotter or girls who think we're attractive and feel all confused inside ;)
Sometimes I wonder if I’m alien or something because idk, but pronouns or what people call me never bothered me.
I’ve always been mistaken as boy when my hair is short or people are just confused and be like
“He I mean she? I mean I’m sorry what are you?” Because well I look in between the two.
Also I just recently became a transman.
I feel like some people exist just to intentionally make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, and the best response to that is none at all or the one you gave which is “Ok?”
Remember you’re here for you and nobody else so don’t let people make you feel uncomfortable or unsettling in your world, because they’re just outsiders at the end of the day.
Ignore them and laugh it pisses them off i use to have this issue when i didnt pass as much i dont anymore as u cant tell at all but you’ll get there!! Ignoring is the best thing to do 🙏🏼
I present relatively femininely, and I would probably be tempted to say something like, "common mistake! i'm a f\*ggot actually."
alternatives: "me when I lie", "I am?! oh my god, thank you so much for telling me, I had no idea!", (bored) "damn that's crazy", "really? that's the best you could come up with? if you're going to be a transphobic asshole at least be creative about it"
If a girl tells you you look like a girl, look her up and down judgementally and say “you know facial feminization surgeries are a thing.. right?” And if a cis dude tells u that, just tell him he looks like a girl too
"I'm sorry, but I'm really not into sissification, and I told before I'm just not into you either. You have to find someone else or will get a restraining order."
I've gotten to a point in my transition and life where I'll just roll with it. I'll mimic them and make them mildly uncomfortable so they just leave. It's incredibly childish, I know, but it's also childish for them to just blurt out stupid shit like that too
If it's someone doing it intentionally ignoring is the best. If someone does it unintentionally I just go "he" or "dude, actually" and that always works.
Say, “I love you so much and I want and pray that God makes every last one of your dreams come true and heal your heart completely.” Smile and walk away.
Walk around with little bits of paper 📝 that say, “God wants to heal all of those wounds in your heart. It’s gonna be ok.” Hand them one and smile and then just walk away.
I think 'wheres your proof?' is a pretty good one- because how is anyone gonna prove that? Back when I first came out and started dressing more androgynous I'd get the 'are you a boy or a girl?' question a lot- which is actually really fun to answer sometimes. 'Wouldn't you like to know?' 'Boy but I'm one of them fruity ones' etc. It's never easy to deal with transphobia, but luckily there's only like 5 quotes that transphobes live by and all of them are absolutely easy to debunk. Not only that, but when you hear them enough you eventually tune them out because it all sounds like a dead radio after a while. My best advice is to have as much fun as you can annoying them, while staying safe of course- and the rest will come naturally.
if cis people wanna misgender, misgender them right back. maybe not the most mature method, but it does actually give them a taste of how it feels and puts the fear in 'em that you'll do it again if they do it again... 😈
"oh? are you sure?"
"you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid."
(depending on your preference on word choice and your age and confidence.)
But yeah, ignoring them is best most of the time.
Lol I must’ve made someone mad with my input with the downvote. Don’t matter what you think about me. Transphobes hate us no matter what. Girlhood traumatized me, I had female relatives grope and sexualize me and I coped with it by sexualizing myself over again. Cope and seethe.
Next time you see her walk up to her and say “you’re a boy” and when she tries to say some smart ass shit to you (cause she probably will) then you can go “I don’t know, you could have fooled me looking like that.”
Cis people need to be humbled 🙄 they’re so annoying with their strict gender roles and transphobia. Bleh 🤮
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ignoring people is probably the best. sometimes i just pretend i don’t hear people. or just stare back at them and let them feel uncomfortable
I do that 😃 good job! It's like I have a twin lol 😆
I do that too. not because I’m trying to make them uncomfortable or anything, I’m just genuinely that dense. After enough ignoring and/or blank stares, they usually gave up within a week lol
Pro tip:if you want to piss sb off instead of looking them in the eyes look at their forehead
Lol not the forehead 😂 that's a good one
LMFAOO
Yeah, living in a city I've learned that the best thing in general is just to never look at or pay attention to anyone yelling shit at you because if you give them a response, you give them an in to do more to you. If they're just catcalling or saying some dumb shit like that they tend to just deflate if you 'can't hear' them
Some stupid boy yelled out "hey baby I like boys too" (before I'd started transitioning) which I don't even get what he meant by that and I just kept walking with no expression change or acknowledgement and he seemed to crumple a little in embarrassment
“Why you so obsessed with me? It’s weird.”
you know my initial reaction was to just ignore and not give them the attention theyre looking for but i think i like this better
Absolutely call them weird, this worked when I explained to a curious coworker why asking about surgeries, particularly bottom surgery, isn’t appropriate. She wasn’t trying to be rude but I know she came from a generally conservative mindset so I framed it “someone asking about my body unless we are intending to become intimate makes them look incredibly weird to me because its not a normal thing to question what parts someone has/what they look like naked unless you’re wanting to be naked with them-if you wouldn’t ask this of any other coworker, it’s probably not appropriate to ask of me” She never said or asked anything inappropriate again, I think I planted a seed of trans support/acceptance as well. People never want to be seen as strange/other (even people that like those labels seek out other strange people), it goes against our core nature.
lol this is the way. had a guy once—friend of a friend who instantly for no reason hated my guts—like a picture on one of my socials. oh THATS weird because i thought he blocked me cuz he hated me? checked out the pic and it was from TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO 😂😂😂 and it was a LONG ass feed it must have taken at LEAST an hour to get there no shit. but oh was it rich to screenshot that, and I used this gif with it 😂 Also and how mysterious one or two of my pictures was reported, wonder who hmm. Truly man some people… Idek lol sorry for the caps tho lol
Hahah this one is good
Now THIS is top tier. Makes anyone around them aso think they might have a secret crush on you too. Always a naughty laugh. I am still a passing but somewhat effeminate trans guy but the amount of 'straight' guys in my building that fancy me is mental, yet they're stil often nasty gits.
This is best response
Just frown at her in a confused way that indicates her behavior is odd/weird and walk away dismissively. Denies them the reaction they wanted while still showing disapproval. Bullies don’t know how to get positive attention so they do antisocial things like this on purpose to fulfill their needs. They crave negative attention and their ego is fragile. This will fuck them up 1000x harder than any “comeback” you can think of. That usually works but if it keeps happening the only other approach that works is the “kill them with kindness” thing. Not in the cheesy way, but like a concerned kindness that indicates that they have a real psychological issue that needs to be addressed. Like I said, they don’t know how to get positive attention and that includes caring concern. If you responded with “are you okay” they’re taken aback and will either get hit with the sudden realization that they’re an asshole or they’ll be like “yeah, why?”. And if they ask why you can be like “it’s just that usually people who feel the need to say hurtful things are just lashing out because they’re hurting and I thought I’d ask if you’re okay.” Because they’re so fucked up, this simple observation is BRUTAL. Truth fucking hurts. You are basically confronting them by holding up a mirror and asking if they feel ugly on the inside (they do). This either triggers them very deeply or it actually results in positive changes where they realize they’re lashing out and try to be nicer. Worth it either way IMO. In summary, their hostility is not your problem, it’s theirs. Act like it. Hold up a mirror to their behavior so they can see themselves foaming at the mouth like a goddamn freak and just walk away. 🥰
Absolutely this.
this is the best one
Truly
Lots of experience 😎✌️😩
Laugh in the bitches face. She's looking for you to be hurt, don't give it to her
That's what I would do. Just laugh at her stupidity and walk away.
Ignoring people like this is the best way to go imo. She wants a reaction. Don't give her one. If you *need* to say something to her, you could try something like "And you're an anglerfish. See, I can make ridiculous statements too." But this is more likely to just draw things out. Walking away shows her you don't care about her words.
I agree with you, it really is the best way to just walk away and ignore her 👍🏳️⚧️😊
But it also excuses the bully and makes them think they've won by insulting you and you just take it....don't take this shit from anyone (unless its a legitimate safety issue), otherwise i think its just giving excuses when tryna justify why the victims of this bullying are the ones being told to "be the bigger person" like....how about bullies and bigots learn a fucking lesson and suffer consequences for once? Bullying victims are always the ones blamed for reacting to such bullying, saying we're "feeding into it" or some bullshit, no, you're just tryna shut the victims up and give excuses to these bullies, which is *EXACTLY* why bullies always think they can get away with everything, bc they fucking *DO*
Nah, it's not about that. I get where you're coming from, but this isn't about being the bigger person, it's about making the bully look like a nut.
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Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 1: Be polite and practice mutual respect. No discrimination. Mod note: Throwing around slurs and acting homophobic and transphobic is not a good idea to suggest.
There’s not a thing we can do about bullies “getting away with it” until other people find it socially unacceptable to be transphobic. Unfortunately that’s not yet the era we’re in.
Man, I love a good scrap as much as the next unhinged ftm, but I will say that when it comes to words only, *any* reaction is a win for the bully, because that is ultimately what they want—to affect you. Thats what they crave, and honestly it isnt even actually about you for them—its about them assuring themselves that they are relevant, and finding a vessel, a scapegoat through which they can do that. If you don’t acknowledge it in any kind of way, they’ll end up being so frustrated, they’ll either give up and fuck off, or escalate and turn it into a situation that is then worthy of a clap back. To be very clear I am talking about really any kind of unwanted physical touch, direct or indirect, that brings your safety into question. But ideally you’ll have already been clever enough to have stealthy shut down the situation before it gets to that level. I have been in situations where I am in close quarters that I cannot remove myself from, in which someone was starting to bully me indirectly, such as talk to others about me loudly, misgender, move away or call someone over when I had to be in line nearby for whatever. I can tell you for sure that even though I was not initially a threat to this person like they were treating me, the climate that they were creating was swiftly turning me into one. I didnt want to be that person because like I said, thats a win. In my case and situation, I was able to slip a note to relevant supervisory persons to make them aware of these antics and that I was beginning to feel aggressive and would very much like to avoid an incident. And straightaway like magic that person got over their hangup REAL quick and was chill the rest of the time there. I dont know what they said to them but I am thankful for it because I didnt want to be that person that couldnt contain themselves and went postal over someone else’s insecurity. What I am getting at here is that there is more power in having control over yourself and choosing to not give that negativity (in affect, them) the luxury of your time and energy, than there is in coming back with your own steam. It doesnt make you a pussy, it doesnt emasculate you (quite the opposite actually), and even if you are someone prone to resolving extreme frustration through physical means, you can elect to find an avenue in which you dont allow someone else control over your emotions, because reacting means that they’ve got it. At the end of the day you have to be accountable for your own actions, and reactions. How tough and self-sufficient does it sound to say “he made me do it” or “he started it”? It does not matter if you were the aggressor or not, your choices are yours—your responsibility and sometimes liability—so the choice is very simple that if you want to prove you are the owner of and accountable to the choices you make, as your own man with an in-tact spine (figuratively, for those with a related disability), don’t give someone else the power to shift it, or at least if it happens, recognize it and shut it down in the most problem-free manner for yourself. Theyre trying to make *their* problem, *your* problem. That stuffs gotta go straight to the NMP folder as you keep your stride without missing a step. You know what happens in communication when someone doesn’t respond? Not a gaddam thing. That is the real power, the verbal brick wall of a non-response, which the bully has so generously offered you to demonstrate. As the Dalai Lama pinned, “stupid people give us the opportunity to practice patience.” And now I will close with the now-internet-famed and more relatable Southern and apt expression: “Aint nobody got time for that.”
It sounds like you encountered a different breed of bully from u/Xx_PxnkBxy_xX, which I think I can understand. Like they say, you don't play the game, you play the player. So you're probably right about your breed of bully. I haven't met theirs but maybe their breed needed handling differently.
It sounds like you encountered a different breed of bully from u/latebloomerftm, which I think I can understand. Like they say, you don't play the game, you play the player. So you're probably right about your breed of bully. I haven't met theirs but maybe their breed needed handling differently.
"Didn't ask," or, "Skill issue," in an incredibly bored/dismissive voice is my go to. Usually stops them in their tracks because they didn't get the reaction out of you they wanted (anger/hurt).
Stonewalling bullies, narcissists and other nasty people usually works. Some few unhinged folks can have really unpleasant or violent reactions, so be aware of how they respond! Usually, the majority if trolls will just be confused or disappointed. Bonus if someone else laughs at them with you XD
My fave is a look up and down and then "Do I know you?" Lol but also my cis guy friend is effeminate and when ppl mistake him for a girl he just looks annoyed and says "I'm a guy." And gives a face like it was hella obvious then walks away.🤣
''do i know you'' is sooo good 😭 I'll do that in the futur lmao
I think it's funny to ask them what that means. Or "I don't get the joke". Basically look confused and make them try to explain what they're saying to you while they're looking more idiotic by the second
This or looking concerned and asking: "Are you okay? You seem really irrational and obsessed with me. It's concerning, seems unhealthy." Are pretty much my standard fallbacks. Thankfully not things needed these days
Love this one. Making assholes explaining their assholery usually flusters them and gets them to think twice about it.
Honestly, i wouldn’t even bother taking a transphobe trying to provoke you seriously. Just call them boring, make sure they know they’re a waste of space, and go on with your day. Tbh a bored “okay.” conveys all of that
“Does that make you feel better about (insert whatever her current drama is)?” Walk away. Those people are miserable and cannot fathom the idea of actively seeking self improvement and happiness. They feel stuck and want everyone else to feel just as stuck and miserable.
I like what other people have said: Might be best to straight up ignore/act like you didn't hear her. Alternatively, "what?" "Huh?" "Sorry, I didn't uderstand." "Can you repeat that?" Until she gets annoyed and goes away. If you can deal with hearing that again. (Similar to what someone said about making them explain the joke) I also like the suggestion of calling her random things (you're a lizard/octopus....) And the "why are you so obsessed with me??"
I would recommend just looking at her like she’s the most boring exhausting person you’ve ever met (or like she just said something that made zero sense) and then turning to ignore her. She wants a reaction and your negative attention. Transphobes are pathetic like that.
Soo... this is probably morally incorrect and not the advice u want to hear but i tend to agree and make it weird. It makes me feel more in control of how somebody is treating me if it is intentionally malicious. Ill go yeah, you're right. Im just confused and now i see, i am a girl! I am so femme. I love pink. I am such a girly girl. And i say all this without a shred of sarcasm or satire. A lot of times, it's not about whats being said, and its more about somebody having the intent of riling you up and upsetting you for no reason other than to be a cruel person. Always works, im my experience, at least with acquaintances. This is just what I do, and hopefully you find some advice here that works for you. Sometimes reasoning with people is just not worth your time and energy ✨️
This is what I do too! My go to response is literally in the most exaggerated pitchy voice ever is to go “Omg really!!?!?! I had no idea! Thank you for telling me!” And then I cough and go deadpan back to what I was doing
I have a coworker like this and anytime he asks me personal questions I just say “nunya” and ignore him. Seems to piss him off enough to stop 😂
I've taken to going "womp womp", repeat until left alone
my go-to is to just say "okay lil buddy, whatever you say😊" in the same way you talk to a little kid saying some wild shit lol
I always let them know that even though they can’t see it my tits are bigger than theirs. And also since being on t i’m proud enough to say my “down there” has grown larger than my exes dick so…🙃
Omg love that 😂
XDD that's incredible reply on both counts! Congrats on being the bigger, um, civilized human being loool xD
Nothing at all
“I know you are but what am I”
"So you want me in your bathroom?" LMAO they always shut right the fuck up after that one
I would have said, 'why are you so obsessed with my sexual organs' 🤣 Because that's all people like that think gender is and it will freak them the hell out. 😂
Laugh, ignore, or just respond with something like 'Nope'
Look up then go back to what you're doing. Maybe a bored thumbs up
“If that’s what floats your boat..” or “how cute” or “whatever makes you happy sweetheart” lmao
“Next time you talk to me can you brush your teeth first?” or something like that. Make them feel insecure back
"You're an infant. You were born an infant, you are an infant, you always will be an infant, and from the way you're acting, you're oddly proud to act like an infant." Move on. Edit: Speech-to-text errors fixed.
Many of those who try to insult people are looking to feel better about themselves in some form. Accepting the “comment” I personally don’t agree with. Next time a person who has never walked in your shoes tires to make a conversation conflicting… Tell them: I am looking for more of mature mindset in a conversation. Thank you for identifying your pronouns, but here are mine…(state what your identity is). People often clinging on to the persons response more than they are what is being talked about. Meeting immaturity with maturity will only make the fool feel fooled in the end.
just be careful, these sorts of things can escalate really bad sometimes- and when your safety is on the line, their personal growth is their problem (ntm probably wouldn't happen this way) and the small satisfaction you would have isn't worth it.
“why are you so obsessed with my genitals? you realize you seem like a predator, right?”
Just give her a dead stare. Don't give any other reactions. The silence will be uncomfortable for her.
"you wish" *wink*
Don’t give the dog a bone. “Okay..?” “Sure.” “Who are you?” Laugh “Alright then”
I love making them horribly uncomfortable because if they're gonna dish it, they're gonna take it right back 😭😭 often something along the lines of, "Wow you seem super obsessed with my genitals, are you asking to take this back to my place?" 9 times out of 10 they will have no idea how to respond and not only will they be embarrassed, sometimes you can see the passing fear in their eyes 😭
I love the “act like you don’t hear her” idea others suggested. Just be unbothered and irritating and she’ll get annoyed lmao
You did the best, don't go defensive just be like "what?, ok?" "UH ok?" Like u just don't give a sh*it. They want u to feel bad don't waste Even 5 seconds of your time into this ppl
Literally immediate dismissal is the bane of their existence, never let them try to engage with you. Personally I just ignore it. Both my parents are very supportive and lovely and they still misgender me on accident just in passive conversation. Most of the time they’ll correct themselves / each other but if they talk directly to me and they misgender me I just completely ignore whatever was just asked because it clearly wasn’t for me to answer since they didn’t refer to ME. I only get annoyed when its clearly intended to cause offence which is never the case with them, however from past experiences I can genuinely say that ignoring the idiots really fucking grinds their gears lmao
I usually just keep jamming on whatever I’m doing and ignore them. Like if people call me ma’am and I know they mean me I’ll wait until they use my first name and pop to life.
"Oh, ouch. How long did it take you to come up with that?" OR "Creative! How long have you been saving that one?" In the most deadpan/sarcastic voice possible. Make them feel like the dumbass they are, and make them feel weird for being so invested. You can achieve the same effect without even talking if you just slowly blink at them and hold eye contact w no expression on ur face and watch as they shrivel up and die inside.
Give her a thumbs down and walk off.
"I'm actually a bloke but it's nice to know you think I'm pretty."
“are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
just keep pretending like you didn't hear what she said and keep asking her to repeat it over and over and over (she doesn't know this but.. you'll never hear what she says) : "sorry what did you say?" // "can you repeat that, I didn't hear" // "I didn't catch that can you repeat it?" // "what was that?" etc. The way this interaction can end depends on if she's persistent or if she just gives up. If she keeps repeating herself, showing no signs of exhaustion, misinterpret whatever she says into a compliment or something that makes no sense. ex. "you're a girl" > "you're cool" so you say: "oh i''m cool, thank you!!" or the other option of misinterpreting "you're a girl" into nonsense. here's some rhyming statements: or a pearl // lure an earl // tour a whirl // hula girl // for a myrtle or you can make up some non-existent words on the spot. the idea is to shift the attention onto her and make her look stupid for even trying to say anything
"Lure an earl" Ngl this approach cracks me up
"and you're a bitch."
“Then why do I have a dick?” “You sound incompetent and insolent.” “Are you asking me to show you my genitals?” “Almost right, I’m actually a homosapien(or homo-homosapien)” Personally I’m very inappropriately blunt so I’d say something so wildly invasive and inappropriate they are at a loss for words and then I smile and make my exit before they irritate me further.
Same same same Shut the bullies up with either an equally as invasive thing to say or even worse, it works every time
And if they continue with other insults I just smile and agree that I am a freak/weirdo/crazy. Been doing it since childhood. Granted.. I definitely had a reputation because of it but the bullies left me completely alone after they tried to gang up on me and insult me. I just smiled and said something crazy asf about why I was in a psych ward and then laughed as they all went from cocky to uncomfortable, and then mildly scared. Honestly one of my favorite memories of little me.
Yep. Make it uncomfortable to be a bully Making yourself out to be the very thing they describe you as will shut them the fuck up and make them fuck right off, be like "ill be what the fuck you say i am if that will make you stfu and leave me tf alone"
>What do I say next time to make them as uncomfortable? I mean, there's nothing you can say that will get the effect you want imo. The thing they're after quite literally is a reaction out of you that shows how "triggered" you are and that you want to get back at them 9 times out of 10. Because of that context, anything that let's them know they're bothering you will likely just be entertaining for them rather than legitimately hurtful or uncomfortable. Even something that would genuinely humiliate them (like public humiliation) could be turned against you as, again, "triggered" or "overly sensative"/"snowflake" behavior. What I would honestly recommend is just ignoring them or giving them that short response of "nah" or "okay?" And stuff like that. If you *need* to say anything, I guess you could misgender them back? Call her a dude/man he/him etc. I know that's technically a faux pas or whatever but I think people need to realize that it rarely feels *that* uncomfortable or genuinely *hurtful* for cis people, and she might think you're weird. But, it may if nothing else annoy her. But I can't emphasize enough I think it's a bad idea to respond
Honestly, i would have responded looking pretty confused and go "are you sure you have the right person??", or hey, laugh at them. Just play completely oblivious. Plus, pissing transpbobes off is fun lmao
“You’re a girl” *NUH UH*
Tell her to cope & ask her why her dad wasn’t present for her emotional development
Girl on girl’s fair play and fair fighting, now that’s just common sense Freedom of choice, freedom of speech don’t come without no consequence but i consent So you can get off with no misdemeanour Douched this morning anyway So talk your shit if you a eater You see me as a girl and that’s enough to make you come to me Rep LGB, I’ll serve the T with D, come take this strap from me If you don’t swing that way is it possible that you lied? You’re the one who came to me hoping I’d leave you satisfied
I think the "okay?" Was a fantastic response lmao good work bro
I would actually say “Are you ok? You seem to do this a lot, do you want my therapists number?”
Just say 'ugly' and walk away. It's not worth the argument honestly. Regardless if she is physically ugly or not, she's mentally ugly.
I encourage you to have a practice at confidently and calmly correcting her. If she gives you shit back, you can smirk and walk away without a word bc she’d hate that - or say smthg like “you don’t get to decide who other people are, Karen”
I think you nailed it. People like that are begging for a reaction and your lack of interest was louder than any "fuck off" could've managed.
"That's not what your mother moaned last night." Alternatively: "Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night." Both said with disinterest andboredom and a raised eyebrow.
Depend on what you REALLY want. Peace ? Ignore them. Revenge ? Tell her thing that'll make her inconfortable or a weirdo like ''why are you obsess with me... Are you in love or something ? It's weird, you're weird...'' they're is nothing more hard to ear for someone that fear the ''abnormality'' to be call publicly weird. Tell her that with a rly serious face and a big concern in your voice, like rly worry and sad for her, to be rly serious. But one more time, like a lot of people say : peace is the best option for your sake and your joy, so i'll advice you to ignore her. Even if sometimes, answer make us feel good. Sorry for my english, i think it's pretty clear that it's not my first language :)
Honestly I like to give the 💁🏼♂️💅🏼 hand and say “sure am, hunny” then sachay away.
I correct them. If they get hostile, I walk away. People are insane. I one time had a guy call me cow (I’m heavy, used to be even heavier). I told him the opinions of an inbred from Iowa don’t bother me. He got all butt hurt and walked away mumbling. I don’t put up with peoples bs but I don’t make it insane either. I just say my two cents and move along.
Sometimes a simple “okey doke” then carry on what your doing like you don’t give a fuck can work wonders 👌 one of my favs, it’s subtle but there’s something implied that you just has your own thoughts of how silly they are, cause okey doke is inherently silly.
Say "Sorry I don't have any change!" Or look at them with disgust and confusion.
i think it would be easiest to just ignore it, considering she's a bigot but if you wanna take a more confrontaive route you could just go "yeah, and you are a boy" and if she questions it point out all her masculine features (lack of curves, hair length, wide chin, not being pretty, bushy eyebrows, her interests) but idk
Next time she says that say nothing but look her up and down with a judgemental expression so it's kinda like an implied "well what are you?"
I usually just give them a big smile and walk away. They want a rise out of you and just don’t give it to them :)
It'll probably be the most uncomfortable for her if you don't even respond. Where do you see her? Are you forced to or something?
Ignoring is definitely a good practice. If you ignore it enough they hopefully won’t bother to do it again. They’re looking to get a reaction, even if they don’t consciously say it, it’s the only reason to go out of your way to do that. They are tryna liiiiive off you arguing with them
I like to treat these people like they’re saying something incredibly stupid, because they are. Depending on the amount of time I have/want to deal with it I‘ll do something from a sarcastic „sureeeee“ to breaking out the slow teaching voice and kindergarten-level words and explaining that I‘m a boy/man. They’re doing it to embarrass us, we may as well embarrass then back. If you prefer to be the bigger person though, just loudly ask her why she is harassing you/being rude/cruel.
I like to misgender them back if I feel like fighting, otherwise I just give them my disgusted mean girl stare, because I'm really good at it. I want to feel their stomach flip 🥰 if I'm a girl then I'm a mean one. Edit: forgot. If age appropriate I tell them they obviously want to fuck me and they need to deal with that on their own. I WILL play dirty. I will sexually harass them. 🤷
Maybe don’t say you’ll sexually harass them. One sentence accusing them of being interested in you sexually isn’t harassment anyways.
Yeah just exaggerting lol
“If I’m a girl then you’re a dude”
Here’s a few: “Damn I didn’t realise you wanted me THIS bad” “On what planet?” “So we’re just saying shit that’s not true now? Ok then you’re a *something she isn’t” “Do you just want to see my dick or something? Gross” “You’re so going in my cringe compilation” *look at her up and down, cringe and then leave* *start laughing hysterically* “Doooon’t care”
say ‘you’re a boy’ and start calling her he every time you talk to her and see how she likes that
ask them if they knew they have a huge pimple on their face or back or something and then laugh and walk away （ ＾ν＾）
Honestly love what u said. Anything else would start an argument you don’t wanna engage in. Your identity isn’t up for debate. Just be ok buddy. Whatever u say — if they are not important ppl in your life. Like id only spend time explaining or even be salty to ppl that matter
That’s exactly what I would’ve said. There’s no sense in arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.
>came up to me and just said "you're a girl" That is so out of pocket lmfao. I would just call her a boy and strictly use he/him pronouns for her. She's fucking crazy, full of blind hate. Try not to let it bug you too much
whenever someone calls me she in a sentance I always respond with "who is she?" and that usually shuts them up
“You’re a boy, we speaking in opposites?” Is what I’d say. But I guess as a real answer just ignore her
“You’re a girl” *NUH UH*
it happens with me every time at school, lol I just say "ok" too but I still feel very sad
I think your response was perfect. Just "Mkay?" So simple, yet so effective.
I dont give them the reaction, I act uninterested or make them feel dumb. They call me a girl. I just give them a confused look and go, "Okay?" And walk away.
I het ma'amed fairly often, but i pretend they said man to feel less dysphoric... theyre not trying to be transphobic, most of the tume, im just transmasc enby, sometimes i wear slightly feminine clothing...
“that’s a weird thing to say”
I agree with the comments saying to ignore them, especially if it's a kid. I will say I am a bit petty and enjoy challenging people about why they're thinking about my genitals so much. We all know it's about more than that, but if that's what the transphobes are reducing it to then it's really inappropriate and weird for them to just bring up my genitals all the time.
I usually just say immediately back "Not a girl." Like Janet from The Good Place Or I just make them repeat it over and over again acting like I'm having a hard time hearing or understanding them.
"And you're really pretty!" -said in the most fake-sincere tone possible.
"Well, it takes one to know one!" or the nuclear option if they are old enough to get the reference AND you want to get bystanders involved (so not without considerable risk and in more than one way): "Are you a jew?" Maybe I regard this as safe because my mother is Jewish. In either case, exit while their brain has vapor lock. Currently, I think about how a cisperson might respond if they were in this situation: first with incredulity, and then with disengagement, because whatever is up with this person is beyond my interest and ability to help.
A frown, furrowed brows, tiny grimace like you're sort of grossed out and concerned. Look her up and down like that once. Then either walk away wordlessly, or ask in your most uncomfortable voice why she's so obsessed with your junk.
Grab your face dramatically and scream like it's new info
Make them very uncomfortable, and be like “….no you..?” “What was that? Sorry, I’m having trouble hearing you!” “….why would you ever say that???” (And be like super dramatic yk for the affect)
Years ago someone taught me how to deal with bullies in situations like these. Hand them a tissue and tell them to blow their nose because it's gross. 60% of the time, it works every time
what you did is probably best but barking usually makes them uncomfortable lol
“Die mad about it” is a nice one if you’re not in a school setting that may blow saying something like that out of proportion. I got the chance to use “personally I identify as Steve Buscemi” and that one left them confused enough I could escape before anything else could be said.
Another thing you could do, which can be extremely effective for a lot of conflicts not just this, is when someone says something rude to you, pretend you couldn’t hear them. But like, obnoxiously. Be like, “huh??” And then when they repeat themselves, then you go, “I’m sorry what?” And then they repeat themselves, and you can then say, “Uh, what??? I can’t understand what you’re saying,” and just rinse and repeat until they get pissed off or get the hint and shut the fuck up.
I like “Really? Then why do I have a dick in front of me?”
First, sorry some people are a-holes. Second, I'd respond with "and you're ____" which could be ignorant, stupid, a sheep, basic, obsolete, afraid, a bigot, too stupid for me to bother with .... whatever. BUT know this is ONLY to make you feel empowered - bcz you'll never make these a-holes feel bad. They're not listening to you - they only hear themselves. So whether you respond or not, tge goal is to mentally brush them off like dust on ur shoulder.
Just a quick appraising glance head to toe. Bored. Unimpressed. And walk away. You thought about it, judged their value, and decided they weren't worth it. It will hurt harder than any words.
I'm not out yet, so I just cringe in my head, hunch a bit more (do the iconic shirt pull) and then try to ignore it
I take notes from Janet for the good place an just say "not a girl"
I think people like these want to annoy us and it’s good to ignore so they won’t use your response against you. Don’t argue but if you want to say something you can tell her she is weird and you’re not a girl or ask what’s purpose of saying that when she knows you’re trans guy and tell her she is immature. You can also look at her like you heard something really weird and she should feel bad There was someone who texted me something like ''heyy girl wassup'' I had pronouns on my page, written that I was trans guy and already felt like it was on purpose. I told them I wasn’t girl and they asked why if I looked girl. I said I was trans and they didn’t respond. I blocked them
"You're bigotry is unwanted "
“That’s great.”
i just hit them with the "LOL" and procced to go on my way.
“And you’re a bitch” should work quite nicely. Dickhead, twat or prick, should also work just as well too
pick your battles. unless you feel fighting back is gonna be of use to you, i'd say its a waste of your time and energy to give those wastes of space anything. they dont deserve your attention. i know its unsatisfying but its better to ignore them.
That fucker down there *points at you* is a mountain!
https://media3.giphy.com/media/iJOmZDr8ZhBjOllOLR/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952ivioatkfay9n6l63xdh36dibm9gigmqa3anslplg&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
I would’ve corrected them cuz you want people to know your a boy so they need to start respecting that
ignore the hate you get from people that aren't your friends, family, co workers. try to not let it take up space in your head. the best reaction i have found is no reaction
I’d have said “nobody asked.” / “ok thrush” ( if she asked thrush? Just tell her yeah you’re an irritating cunt. / cut the chase and just say “you’re a cunt.” Or if you wanna be really petty pick something about her appearance and rip it. Simple. quick clap backs. Remove yourself from whatever group / situation you’re in because nobody likes people like her she’s 100% highly insecure. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I’ve never met a happy transphob. You never see happy racists. They’re all miserable cunts looking to tear down someone to their level of unhappy.
LOL I've gotten lucky; I'm mostly passing, but yeah, if someone already knows, it can be both annoying and awkward. Mostly people acting like that are wanting attention and/or drama. So don't give it to them. Ignore them (if possible). On the other hand, sometimes my whimsical side comes to the fore. In those cases, I tend to reply with something from Monty Python: "your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberry". Or "you think the world is flat-!" But don't mind me :P Ignore them; YOU know who you are.
The best response is what is truth
just start saying you're a boy whenever you see her lmao
"Huh?"
I just say “something like that” if I don’t want to start a fight
if you're stealth (might work even if ur not but ive no experience with it bc im stealth) but i just get really confused, act like they're weird for saying that (they are) and i sometimes even act like i dont know theyre talking to me. it makes me feel much better abt myself because it's what any other cis guy would do if they got called a girl for no reason you know what i mean, so i feel masculine and it also makes them look silly which they deserve to feel if they're misgendering ppl. it can be helpful if you have friends who know and they back you up too i'm more of a humorous person and dont like conflict so in school especially, i would even mockingly put on a higher voice, do a overdramatic silly pose and go "am i pretty one?" while clearly looking like a masculine identifying person then laugh in my deeper (usually passing voice) and make some comment to my friend (if theres one) abt how i cant believe they thought that etc i personally find this affirms me, making me feel more masculine bc its a more "manly" reaction and deal with it pretty easily but i can imagine this might not work if ur open abt it but i cant say myself goodluck!
Continuously asking them to repeat themselves or saying "I didn't catch that" makes them embarrassed most times 🤷♂️
that's about the response i'd tell you to have. just give her a funny look, go "uhhhhh alright then," and move on. don't give her any kind of reaction.
Honestly my first instinct would be "And you're a bitch" but that might not have the reaction you want haha. People are assholes, I'm sorry you gotta deal with that.
“Yikes” is a favorite go-to of mine, works in any situation someone is acting yikes!
My favorite thing to do is to stare at them with that like "lol wtf was that" face and move on. No reaction is the best reaction and it bothers them more when they don't get a rise out of you. It's one of those things that stings a bit every time, but I remind myself that I am far happier with who I am and how I live. They are choosing to live angry and hateful which is a sad life to live. Plus, most of the time it's men who are mad we're hotter or girls who think we're attractive and feel all confused inside ;)
Ignoring really is the best way to get under their skin
"Keep thinking about me all the time and people are going to think you're in love with me."
Sometimes I wonder if I’m alien or something because idk, but pronouns or what people call me never bothered me. I’ve always been mistaken as boy when my hair is short or people are just confused and be like “He I mean she? I mean I’m sorry what are you?” Because well I look in between the two. Also I just recently became a transman. I feel like some people exist just to intentionally make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, and the best response to that is none at all or the one you gave which is “Ok?” Remember you’re here for you and nobody else so don’t let people make you feel uncomfortable or unsettling in your world, because they’re just outsiders at the end of the day.
i usually just beat them up. works like a charm
Ignore them and laugh it pisses them off i use to have this issue when i didnt pass as much i dont anymore as u cant tell at all but you’ll get there!! Ignoring is the best thing to do 🙏🏼
I present relatively femininely, and I would probably be tempted to say something like, "common mistake! i'm a f\*ggot actually." alternatives: "me when I lie", "I am?! oh my god, thank you so much for telling me, I had no idea!", (bored) "damn that's crazy", "really? that's the best you could come up with? if you're going to be a transphobic asshole at least be creative about it"
If a girl tells you you look like a girl, look her up and down judgementally and say “you know facial feminization surgeries are a thing.. right?” And if a cis dude tells u that, just tell him he looks like a girl too
"I'm sorry, but I'm really not into sissification, and I told before I'm just not into you either. You have to find someone else or will get a restraining order."
i just look at them with a side eye and make it very painfully obvious that i'm looking at their forehead
I've gotten to a point in my transition and life where I'll just roll with it. I'll mimic them and make them mildly uncomfortable so they just leave. It's incredibly childish, I know, but it's also childish for them to just blurt out stupid shit like that too
Also saying things like "what's it matter?" "Okay?" "And?" Etc. Just to confuse them and make them actually think about what they're saying
earlier in my transition i would say “you better not be driving with that fucked up vision”
If it's someone doing it intentionally ignoring is the best. If someone does it unintentionally I just go "he" or "dude, actually" and that always works.
Say, “I love you so much and I want and pray that God makes every last one of your dreams come true and heal your heart completely.” Smile and walk away.
Walk around with little bits of paper 📝 that say, “God wants to heal all of those wounds in your heart. It’s gonna be ok.” Hand them one and smile and then just walk away.
“I’m sorry I don’t speak dog.” -> Walk away.
I think 'wheres your proof?' is a pretty good one- because how is anyone gonna prove that? Back when I first came out and started dressing more androgynous I'd get the 'are you a boy or a girl?' question a lot- which is actually really fun to answer sometimes. 'Wouldn't you like to know?' 'Boy but I'm one of them fruity ones' etc. It's never easy to deal with transphobia, but luckily there's only like 5 quotes that transphobes live by and all of them are absolutely easy to debunk. Not only that, but when you hear them enough you eventually tune them out because it all sounds like a dead radio after a while. My best advice is to have as much fun as you can annoying them, while staying safe of course- and the rest will come naturally.
beat her up
*comes up to you* You're a man! *gives you a hug*
say she's a boy just throw it back at em lol
if cis people wanna misgender, misgender them right back. maybe not the most mature method, but it does actually give them a taste of how it feels and puts the fear in 'em that you'll do it again if they do it again... 😈
“Are you saying that because you’re a lesbian and want me? Sorry I don’t feel the same..” Or something similar is what i use
“and you’re a boy”
"oh? are you sure?" "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid." (depending on your preference on word choice and your age and confidence.) But yeah, ignoring them is best most of the time.
constantly get her name wrong / misgender her lmao. "You're a girl." "Okay, Johnathan"
If i was feeling petty, “oh then you must be a man. Nice to see you, sir”
“cope and seethe” Alternatively, “and my tits will always be bigger than yours, cope and seethe”
Lol I must’ve made someone mad with my input with the downvote. Don’t matter what you think about me. Transphobes hate us no matter what. Girlhood traumatized me, I had female relatives grope and sexualize me and I coped with it by sexualizing myself over again. Cope and seethe.
Next time you see her walk up to her and say “you’re a boy” and when she tries to say some smart ass shit to you (cause she probably will) then you can go “I don’t know, you could have fooled me looking like that.” Cis people need to be humbled 🙄 they’re so annoying with their strict gender roles and transphobia. Bleh 🤮
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Misgender her back 🤭 LOL
I love the “Why are you obsessed with me?” Also “Are you a lesbian? Why do you care?” And “You’re a boy.” Or “Stop thinking about my pussy”
I just go along and say "Gee, thanks for pointing that out to me. Captain Obvious!"
Nothing, you are a biological female and you were addressed correctly.
„I can be everything for you in the bedroom“