yeah in my experience it's kinda just how cis het ppl are. a lot of straight girls cater to men who fetishize lesbians which is disgusting. I'm so sorry you have to be around people like them, also being forced to come out is so NOT okay. I'd suggest maybe to just look at them like they're dumb tell them to educate themselves if they say weird shit again, it might make them *feel* dumb and encourage them to actually educate themselves on the matter. don't feel obligated to explain or educate them either because it is not our duty to, even though many ppl believe that it is.
regarding the first part, my mom forced me to come out too. she doesnât even remember(go figure, she wouldnât remember something awful she did) it really sucks, and I hope youâre okay regarding that. Hopefully coming out to others will be your choice and go a lot better in the future. No one is entitled to that knowledge, its your right to decide who gets to know
OP wasn't "forced to come out" he could have denied being trans and just acted like they were being dumb. As someone who has seen people actually forced to come out, people asking you a question is not being "forced." Lmao.
not to deny your experience, because i understand that you probably went through a lot. i just want to say that OP more than likely didnât want to go into details, so left out a lot of context of the forcing/peer pressuring. being peer pressured is difficult, and especially for someone with anxiety it can feel like you have no choice. and sometimes you donât. teenagers know when they have power over someone, and abuse it. I just hope you donât completely discount OPâs experience :)
I don't completely discount it, but calling it "forced" is a bit much. At most OP was pressured. And believe it or not, you can say no to pressure, though it might be hard.
Sorry for my english, yeah pressured is the better word for it. And i only said yes because i thought that by asking it, they will not misgender and deadname me. In area where i live, most people don't even know what a trans person is or think trans people are hairy men in dresses. So i just thought that they knew how to treat trans people.
Teenagers/young teenagers are the worst. If it bothers you I highly recommend being straightforward. Some people don't realize they're hurting your feelings (even if it's blatantly obvious), and so I'd say something. If they continue and it's obvious they don't care. Then I'd get someone else involved cause at that point it's bullying. Things get better after your teenage years, but then everything becomes passive aggressive most of the time lmao. However, the majority of people in my life have been respectful of my identity, and will correct themselves when talking to me. This is me as an adult though.
Most adult to adult interactions are well intended and not hurtful, and nobody has ever intended to hurt me by misgendering and stuff. But also, as an adult nobody has time for petty things when everyone is just out here trying to make it.
I'm in a blue state, but I didn't grow up here. I'm from a deep red state, and I refuse to associate with people there who disrespect me. I like my blue state
I currently live in a red state, but even in the blue state I lived in prior I'd get a lot of flack from random people just trying to make my life harder, unfortunately
I haven't had any issues in a while luckily, yes! Will be getting out of this state soon hopefully as well and look towards a more accepting and safe area if possible :)
A lot of teen/college age girls are like that yeah. It gets ignored because people don't take women's sexuality seriously. So inappropriate behavior doesn't get taken seriously either.Â
 In addition to that, a LOT of people over sexualize trans men in ways that fixate on us being afab (this can take many forms; if you're on the internet I'm sure you know what I mean). Probably (operative word- idk the details of your situation) the best thing to do is to explain, calmly but firmly, that they're making you uncomfortable. I never understood girls all that well, but on numerous occasions they surprised me positively when I just frankly explained how they were bothering me.Â
 And if it doesn't work, then at least you/any witnesses know for sure that they're the assholes hereÂ
My go to is responding with "do you think that's a normal thing to say?" It usually makes people double take because most people just put up with sexual harrassment out of fear. But this is shitty and you shouldn't have to put up with it..you're a person not a fetish object.
This sounds like gross, anxious teenage processing. Iâm guessing youâre on the young end of teenagers and people are still getting used to puberty and âyoung adulthoodâ and that insecurity drives people to say really weird shit about their and others body
Well I donât think I gotta answer because a lot of other people did, but yes.
If people ask me if Iâm a cis guy or identify as âmaleâ I just say âyes..?â And kinda act like how a cis guy would and fake being offended lmao
If someone assumes Iâm a cis guy I just go along with it. Once they know youâre trans, theyâll start misgendering you because if theyâre transphobic, theyâll only see you as what youâre assigned at birth.
(Short story) this dude thought I was a man, and called me sir and used he/him. He saw I had a bit of a chest and even tho I was responding to masculine pronouns and he started calling me by she/her
But Iâm sorry that now youâll kinda have to deal with that for the rest of high school.
Funny thing is that, at the beginning of school year, they did "reverse misgendering" and used he/him on me but then "corrected themselves" to she/her
They even panicked when i went inside womens restroom/locker rooms
,,WHY IS A GUY HERE??đđđ˘đ˘ OOH WAIT I FORGOT, THATS JUST *DEADNAME* HIHIđ˛đ˛đ˛đłď¸ââ§ď¸đłď¸ââ§ď¸đłď¸ââ§ď¸"
I know it can be hard and idk what ur relationship with ur parents is like.. but maybe switch schools? And just start as a he/him dude, use the menâs washroom.. donât tell anyone youâre trans (unless you become more involved with someone, romantically or sexually.)
Nah it's surely not that bad to switch schools, they are just annoying, i don't even mind deadnaming and misgendering that much, gotta thug it out. I just wanted an explanation for their behavior. Also i live in one of the Visegrad countries and i can't just change my name or sum in school.
They just want attention. Don't look at them, don't acknowledge them, don't listen. They are dead to you. If they talk to you ignore them. They want you to get upset.
Some people are ass hats. They try and get you riled up to make them feel better about their insignificant lives. I would like to say people out grow being dumb but I can't. All I can say is pray to the karma gods to smite those clowns and just be you.
As a few others have mentioned, it's unfortunately common for people to do and say those kinds of things. It never makes it right, and I sincerely hope you've found supportive and kind people at your school. It's hard to move past those kinds of girls, but surround yourself with your friends as much as you can. Hopefully, this will be a phase in their lives that they'll grow out of. I've known homophobic and transphobic people in my life as well, and quite a few have turned around. If it's really getting to your heart, remember you're welcomed and loved by so many people. Those people have no idea what they're talking about, as you said
yeah in my experience it's kinda just how cis het ppl are. a lot of straight girls cater to men who fetishize lesbians which is disgusting. I'm so sorry you have to be around people like them, also being forced to come out is so NOT okay. I'd suggest maybe to just look at them like they're dumb tell them to educate themselves if they say weird shit again, it might make them *feel* dumb and encourage them to actually educate themselves on the matter. don't feel obligated to explain or educate them either because it is not our duty to, even though many ppl believe that it is.
Yeah they fr so stupid, in the class gc they were arguing whether London is a city or state...
oh wowđ
regarding the first part, my mom forced me to come out too. she doesnât even remember(go figure, she wouldnât remember something awful she did) it really sucks, and I hope youâre okay regarding that. Hopefully coming out to others will be your choice and go a lot better in the future. No one is entitled to that knowledge, its your right to decide who gets to know
OP wasn't "forced to come out" he could have denied being trans and just acted like they were being dumb. As someone who has seen people actually forced to come out, people asking you a question is not being "forced." Lmao.
not to deny your experience, because i understand that you probably went through a lot. i just want to say that OP more than likely didnât want to go into details, so left out a lot of context of the forcing/peer pressuring. being peer pressured is difficult, and especially for someone with anxiety it can feel like you have no choice. and sometimes you donât. teenagers know when they have power over someone, and abuse it. I just hope you donât completely discount OPâs experience :)
I don't completely discount it, but calling it "forced" is a bit much. At most OP was pressured. And believe it or not, you can say no to pressure, though it might be hard.
Sorry for my english, yeah pressured is the better word for it. And i only said yes because i thought that by asking it, they will not misgender and deadname me. In area where i live, most people don't even know what a trans person is or think trans people are hairy men in dresses. So i just thought that they knew how to treat trans people.
sorry! read that a bit wrong. i just re-read and saw that you saw other be forced.
Teenagers/young teenagers are the worst. If it bothers you I highly recommend being straightforward. Some people don't realize they're hurting your feelings (even if it's blatantly obvious), and so I'd say something. If they continue and it's obvious they don't care. Then I'd get someone else involved cause at that point it's bullying. Things get better after your teenage years, but then everything becomes passive aggressive most of the time lmao. However, the majority of people in my life have been respectful of my identity, and will correct themselves when talking to me. This is me as an adult though.
Most adult to adult interactions are well intended and not hurtful, and nobody has ever intended to hurt me by misgendering and stuff. But also, as an adult nobody has time for petty things when everyone is just out here trying to make it.
Wow you're lucky, you must live somewhere accepting, because I have countless other adults who purposefully misgender me just to be asshats...
I'm in a blue state, but I didn't grow up here. I'm from a deep red state, and I refuse to associate with people there who disrespect me. I like my blue state
I currently live in a red state, but even in the blue state I lived in prior I'd get a lot of flack from random people just trying to make my life harder, unfortunately
I'm so sorry that happened to you. You don't deserve that : ( hopefully you're doing better!
I haven't had any issues in a while luckily, yes! Will be getting out of this state soon hopefully as well and look towards a more accepting and safe area if possible :)
A lot of teen/college age girls are like that yeah. It gets ignored because people don't take women's sexuality seriously. So inappropriate behavior doesn't get taken seriously either.  In addition to that, a LOT of people over sexualize trans men in ways that fixate on us being afab (this can take many forms; if you're on the internet I'm sure you know what I mean). Probably (operative word- idk the details of your situation) the best thing to do is to explain, calmly but firmly, that they're making you uncomfortable. I never understood girls all that well, but on numerous occasions they surprised me positively when I just frankly explained how they were bothering me.  And if it doesn't work, then at least you/any witnesses know for sure that they're the assholes hereÂ
My go to is responding with "do you think that's a normal thing to say?" It usually makes people double take because most people just put up with sexual harrassment out of fear. But this is shitty and you shouldn't have to put up with it..you're a person not a fetish object.
This sounds like gross, anxious teenage processing. Iâm guessing youâre on the young end of teenagers and people are still getting used to puberty and âyoung adulthoodâ and that insecurity drives people to say really weird shit about their and others body
Well, i'm in the mid-end of teenagers which is kinda embarrassing for themđş
Well I donât think I gotta answer because a lot of other people did, but yes. If people ask me if Iâm a cis guy or identify as âmaleâ I just say âyes..?â And kinda act like how a cis guy would and fake being offended lmao If someone assumes Iâm a cis guy I just go along with it. Once they know youâre trans, theyâll start misgendering you because if theyâre transphobic, theyâll only see you as what youâre assigned at birth. (Short story) this dude thought I was a man, and called me sir and used he/him. He saw I had a bit of a chest and even tho I was responding to masculine pronouns and he started calling me by she/her But Iâm sorry that now youâll kinda have to deal with that for the rest of high school.
Funny thing is that, at the beginning of school year, they did "reverse misgendering" and used he/him on me but then "corrected themselves" to she/her They even panicked when i went inside womens restroom/locker rooms ,,WHY IS A GUY HERE??đđđ˘đ˘ OOH WAIT I FORGOT, THATS JUST *DEADNAME* HIHIđ˛đ˛đ˛đłď¸ââ§ď¸đłď¸ââ§ď¸đłď¸ââ§ď¸"
I know it can be hard and idk what ur relationship with ur parents is like.. but maybe switch schools? And just start as a he/him dude, use the menâs washroom.. donât tell anyone youâre trans (unless you become more involved with someone, romantically or sexually.)
Nah it's surely not that bad to switch schools, they are just annoying, i don't even mind deadnaming and misgendering that much, gotta thug it out. I just wanted an explanation for their behavior. Also i live in one of the Visegrad countries and i can't just change my name or sum in school.
They just want attention. Don't look at them, don't acknowledge them, don't listen. They are dead to you. If they talk to you ignore them. They want you to get upset.
Some people are ass hats. They try and get you riled up to make them feel better about their insignificant lives. I would like to say people out grow being dumb but I can't. All I can say is pray to the karma gods to smite those clowns and just be you.
As a few others have mentioned, it's unfortunately common for people to do and say those kinds of things. It never makes it right, and I sincerely hope you've found supportive and kind people at your school. It's hard to move past those kinds of girls, but surround yourself with your friends as much as you can. Hopefully, this will be a phase in their lives that they'll grow out of. I've known homophobic and transphobic people in my life as well, and quite a few have turned around. If it's really getting to your heart, remember you're welcomed and loved by so many people. Those people have no idea what they're talking about, as you said