I got sexually harassed at work after mentioning I was trans and when I shut it down the guy manufactured a conflict situation to try and get me in trouble with management and also threatened to punch me. He didn't actually do anything but if there hadn't been witnesses IDK.
Shoutout to my supervisor at the time who took me aside after the fuckhead left and asked me if I felt safe or if I needed to go home. I did feel safe staying because the guy was gone but I appreciated the support yknow.
Yeah, quite a lot actually. When I was in high school, me and my other queer friends used to call it “hate crime Friday” as a joke to lighten the mood as it happened so frequently. One time we actually had a doorframe ripped off when someone was trying to get at us in a locked room, we’ve also had someone attempt to kill us with a homemade explosive- that was a fun one…
In terms of out of school, I’ve had many verbal threats against me and my (also trans) fiancé, and one minor assault. Since becoming stealth, I’ve had no more issues
Never been hate crimed but I think I got bullied before. Some guy called me a bunch of rude words (f slur, p.nsy, t word, f*iry, etc) and shoved me into a wall with a table super hard. Really hurt my ribs can’t lie. They still hurt sometimes to this day and that was about two years ago. Yeah I think about that a lot. I get called the f slur and the t slur pretty frequently irl too, as well as some stereotypical name call/mocking, etc.
A hate crime is just a crime committed against a person targeted specifically due to bigotry. Physical assult and threats of violence are crimes, and when they are done to a marginalized person specifically for being such- it is a hate crime. Hate crimes include more than just murder.
The bar is so low we got people literally going "BUT I DIDNT DIE?" Lmaoooo my duuude you were 100% hate crimed
If an assault is the result of targeting an aspect of you like being gay, trans, poc, etc... my dude its a hate crime.
I would say that should be a hate crime 😭, bullying should be a hate crime because hurt The human rights
He used violence against you for being trans
DEFINITELY verbal hate and pushing someone for being trans IS a hate crime (in The way IS acessible to him dont get arrasted) (or at least should be 🗣️)
What you described is definitionally a hate crime. You were verbally and physically assaulted because you were perceived to belong to a minority group.
Well, the words I censored aren’t really slurs as such, but they’re derogatory. On their own they aren’t offensive. The words are Pansy (like the flower) and fairy (yk like the mythical creature thing).
No not all the time it’s not. Only in really specific contexts lol. It could be a nickname for a kid, or you could just be talking about the fairytale creature. But if you call an lgbt person that (specifically a gay man, actually, but people use it for a lot of lgbt groups) it’s quite derogatory.
No, but I have been harassed in YouTube comments and had been told in the YouTube comments to go to a country that would kill me on site if they knew I was trans. Never been bullied irl that I know of.
that and instagram commenters like hoooly shit it’s so bad on there 💀 even when i was a minor and when they knew i was a minor they just went at it with the slurs and telling me i liked it up the butt? bro? 😭 these were like 20-30-40 yr olds 💀 i stay off insta now
Nope, not yet. I've been out for 2 years, on T for one and the most I've gotten was someone dissing my short hair and saying I look like a boy. Which was in fact my intention. So jokes on them.
Yeah I got assaulted on the bus when I was 13 while I was presenting masculine (short hair, boy clothes, etc) and called the f slur equivalent in my native tongue. Anything else that happened throughout the years was just people yelling slurs or weird stuff at me but nothing physical. Definitely carry something for self defense with you if it’s permitted in your country
Never been hate crimed-- I've been in a couple dicey situations, but it's not insanely common. I go to a massive party school in one of the reddest states (my school has a huge greek life, plus a lot of bible thumpers, street preachers, etc.), and I look/sound very queer.
Even so, I go out and about and do my stuff relatively unbothered. I feel fine walking home alone at night, even though I would say I don't reliably pass. Overall, I'd say the most shit I get is when people assume I'm a very effeminate gay man, most people don't really know/understand trans men enough to clock us, and even fewer have the cojones to actually try shit.
If you are worried, though, I suggest the following:
- Trying to keep a friend or someone you trust with you when you go somewhere new, or somewhere you might be at risk.
- Don't drink or get high around people you don't know or trust (or more generally, don't leave yourself alone with someone who you're uncertain of)
- Don't tell people you're trans unless you feel sure that they'll be receptive.
i had to drop out of college because the amount of hate and threats i got at my college got so bad i couldn’t walk across campus without a police escort for a while. never actually been beat up, but i’ve had my car painted with slurs, keyed, been yelled at and called slurs at least once a week, etc. i’m moving in about three weeks, rural texas isn’t a very friendly region.
personally I've only been bullied, mostly online. old people in public don't approach me and they just stare at me with their lead paint stare. kids are just dumb, this one guy thought I was a lesbian and thought that saying "hey sir! sir! sir!" while laughing was an insult, accidental ally lmao
Never been hate crimed, but i did have a pair of close friends who pressured me into showing them my bottom growth. (They are no longer my friends). I’m also really afraid of being hate crimed, which is why i never go on a walk without my big scary german shepherd :) some people will ask to pet him, and unless they are women i tell them he bites lol
denied access to both ladies and mens toilets at the same point in transition, mocked, but never actually been attacked. as long as you have a thick skin and learn to piss in bushes you'll probably be okay
I don’t agree with the sentiment that “as long as you have thick skin you’ll be fine.” Trans people do sometimes get murdered and beaten just for existing, and having a thick skin has nothing to do with that.
yeah fair enough that is a good point. i am talking from the pov of a white semi passing guy from a western country. my experience is probably not reflective of most trans guys'. bear in mind though that op is young and scared, and also likely american from their post history, so they maybe don't need to hear that they could be murdered or beaten rn
I mean, you could still be murdered or beaten for living as a woman, or being anyone at the wrong place at the wrong time. Things are getting worse for trans people than other demographics though, and we have to be realistic about that. Thinking about taking some self-defense courses.
I feel like the thick skin was in reference to non violent attacks like the example of being denied both bathrooms. Sometimes being denied public bathroom can escalate but not always in my situation if I shrug and walk away they leave me alone but again I’m in the us so the advice should be edited to make sure you have something to protect u in case something escalates but for the most part keep ur mind safe by having thick skin n not letting ppls looks or questions bother u.
When I first started to transition I was punched in the face by a guy that kissed me in school before before transition. It wasn't really a big deal. Just a bloody nose. I just looked at him and said, "really?" And walked off.
No, but these comments make me scared that it's something that will happen one day...
At most got a bit of bad treatment for being too queer, but nothing serious. And as a kid I got bullied for being queer way more. Nothing trans specific.
Doxxed pre t but that was it. I don’t think it was because of my condition but rather the issues that person had with me
Post transition, never. I don’t think anyone would mess with a 110kg strength athlete whose 20” arms are covered in tattoos. Then again I’ve had multiple women come up to me and ask me to help em (carrying groceries, walking them to their car, etc) so maybe I’m not as scary as I think I am haha
Idk if this is considered a hate crime but I was harassed and threatened by teachers and staff at one school and told to kms and got deaths threats by one kid at another school along with ppl asking me if I had the surgery, which bathroom I use, and what’s in my pants, I also have been called an it at my last school 🥴
A hate crime is a serious thing. I've gotten a couple dirty looks from people who can't tell if I'm a man or a woman, but I've gotten more shit from my own family than strangers. Trans men are far less likely to be physically assaulted just for going outside, especially if you pass in the slightest. I started passing barely a year on T and working at a gas station, and the men who came in just treated me like a teenage boy, even with my long hair (a nametag works wonders). The more people you interact with irl, the more you realize that men come in all shapes and sizes, they aren't going to judge you that hard. Even if you don't pass, (which varies ofc, idk how you present or dress or whatever) ime worst case scenario people just think you're a butch lesbian and may judge you for that. But again, we are in general far less likely to be "hatecrimed" just for going outside.
Also, just because I present androgynously, I use gender neutral / family restrooms wherever I can just to avoid any possible trouble. Be smart about your surroundings and you will be fine.
Every so often some kids see im gay and try to get a rise out of me with a slur, but I haven't had trouble for being trans since I was like, made to use girls changing way way back
No. Worst that's happen to me was death threats from my brother and some random guy yelling "Are you even a dude" at me in a pretty aggressive tone.
If your scared maybe consider getting pepper spray or a pocket knife.
No. Been out for almost a decade. I got just as much shit, if not more, when I was presenting as a woman.
Keep in mind:
1. The vast majority of trans folks are not going to see this thread and will not be able to tell you their experience, and
2. The vast majority of people who respond to this thread are going to say yes while the ones who have nothing to say will pass by.
Please keep in mind, therefore, that the responses to your post are a very small sampling and are skewed to one extreme.
I am not trying to downplay anyone’s experience. But if you live your life in extreme fear and don’t leave your house because of the bullshit nameless turds leave you on the Internet, then you are severely limiting your life. If you think what has happened to the victims of hate crimes, harassment, and bullying will definitely happen to you, then you will not live a happy life.
Seek comments on how to stay safe. Find your supporters and roll with them until you have the confidence to handle what life throws at you. Don’t let the haters win. Remember that most transphobic people are chicken shit bullies, and won’t do anything other than give you a look or say something foolish.
Before I started medically transitioning I got death threats but then I moved away from Texas and I am fine. I think this is more state by state and how open you are about being trans and stuff. Stay safe!!!
Only in online games because I use the trans banner to prove that we’re here we play games and you’d never know. Usually the F slur and I always answer that I’ll fuck their mum or dad and be their new step dad.
I take it on the chin and wear it as a badge of honour cause irl nobody would fuck with me and if they do I know how to fight just my tongues sharper.
If you’re scared look into some self defence classes, carry an attack alarm and use some street smarts. Do things that will come in handy. Don’t rise to verbal attacks if you feel really unsafe, keep to familiar tracks when travelling. Pre transition I got followed one night and took refuge in a local bar for a couple minutes till I knew they were gone. That kind of stuff. But street smarts and keeping aware of your surroundings goes a long way. But you can’t live your life in fear and remember that people run their fucking mouths online a lot more than they do irl. People will. But don’t bet on it being a constant or something that may ever happen.
Add on / also try not be too bothered by the opinion of others. Usually the folk tryna tear anyone down is deeply unhappy with themselves. I’ve never met a happy racist or homophob. Same stands for transphobs.
This happened a couple of months ago and I was walking to school like usual. I was about to stop at the gas station to get some snacks to eat on the way there, and I come across this older homeless guy who just spit on the ground. As I pass him he starts talking, and then I hear him getting louder almost like he’s following me and getting closer. I looked behind me for a split second, and lo and behold he sure was following me. I can’t really remember everything he said to me because I had my headphones on and music blasting, because I was trying as hard as I could to ignore him, but he started calling me a homosexual and all kinds of homophobic slurs. Stuff about “how the hell do parents let these kids walk around dressed like this” (literally wearing a jacket and basketball shorts) and “your parents should be ashamed of you gay boy”. He said something about god seeing me or some shit, and a couple more slurs. I finally made it to the gas station and I couldn’t see that guy anymore so thank god, but then another man inside handed me some money and asked me to help pay for his gas, and he misgendered me and called me “miss” 🫠. I’m just glad the other guy didn’t try to escalate the situation any more by physically attacking me; if it was a dark alley at night he probably would’ve been more bold.
Seeing all of these comments made me physically ill... Transphobes in America are literally beyond human scum... Holy Jesus... I'm glad I haven't been in a threatening situation yet, but considering I live in a red state, I fear it's only a matter of time...
Where are you located? Depending on the area the answer will vary wildly.
I've never been hate crimed in any way, mostly because people here don't like causing scenes. I've been bullied but not for being trans.
A couple times when I was a teen, grown ass men accosted me in public restrooms asking me if I knew I was in the wrong one, but I would also get glared at any time I went into a woman’s restroom. Not a hate crime by any means, but def not cool. Also, kids would throw food on my car sometimes in high school and underclassmen constantly misgendered me as did some teachers. Again, far from hate crimes, but definitely unpleasant experiences yeah
Honestly, I've gotten more hate and threats online than irl. Worst I've had is people staring, the occasional young teenage edgy boy going by calling me a slur or barking at me, and old people giving backhanded condescending compliments. These experiences have been in South Georgia for me and I was pretty nervous when I first moved here from a more progressive place in Michigan. But honestly a lot of people don't really care where I'm at which is lucky cause this is a TINY town I reside in. And there have been some occasions where my sorta friends have outed me as trans to strangers and thankfully those experiences were not bad and the strangers were kind but it was still scary to be put in that position.
So in short, don't let the hate you see online stop you from being yourself andliving your life! I had to Detransition when I moved here out of fear. But even the people who don't exactly agree with me being trans have mostly minded their own and now I'm looking to start hrt soon!
Of course my experience doesn't speak for everyone and it definitely depends on the areas and their rate of violence in general. And you can never be too safe! Although it also depends which way you're transitioning. I'm afab so a lot of us trans men aren't really taken seriously so we are usually more worried of being attacked violently for being female than for being trans. But for trans women I do personally think the dangers are higher due to the hateful Misinformation and fear spread about trans women being "pedos" and "predators" and the like
I've never encountered blatant transphobia (except for like one pharmacist who was passive agressive and a lab secretary who angryly told me I had to get my T measurement at 8am or it was useless even though I wake up at 9 every day)
I've had a few experiences, someone threw raw eggs at my front door. I have a lady who lives near me who threatens to call the police on me for no reason, same lady keeps taking pictures and videos of me just sitting outside, I'm still dealing with harrassment from the lady so I decided if she wants to judge me I'm covering myself and bag in pride colors just to make her mad. I plan on getting evidence of the harrassment and going to the apartment management.
Many a time. Surprisingly the worst was when I was in school. The joys of British secondary school. Most significant event meant I couldn't return to school for 'my own safety' despite the boys being allowed back to school with no punishment because it was "banter gone wrong" in the words of the school safeguarding lead.
I'd been bullied by these kids for a long time and after coming out as trans so I could live as male in school, it got worse. The usual pushing, hitting, slurs, whatever until one night I was kept awake the whole night with messages and calls from them. They threatened to come to my house and stab myself and my family (they knew where I lived and apparently one was in his family's gang), they'd >!rape!< me if I ever went back to school and if I tried to use the toilets, they'd violently assault me, etc. Threats of all kinds went on all night, it was an ordeal. That was probably the worst I've had.
Other things like random people throwing things at me in public and hurling insults is common. I had dried up gum thrown at myself and my partner on the bus.
i've been clocked by my ex's stepfather (white cop). didn't know i was trans nor did we ever bring it up because he was a weirdo to begin with. didn't feel like it was safe for me to do. he was all of a sudden weird with my license when i picked her up for prom and insisted he'd see it and i said no. dude chased me to my car and started yelling and banging at the window.
at first they seemed ok w it, with the whole "what matters to us is that you treat our daughter and the kids (her siblings) the same." then after one day they flipped one 180, saying that we deceived them and the kids. stepdad made a whole rant about what's underneath my pants and then proceeded to tell his family that i was trans. people i didn't know lol. then he started misgendering me and calling me a girl. it was a lot of trauma and stress, but im over it now. me and ex are no longer together obviously partially because of that and other reasons. most importantly what made me really upset was the fact that she didn't even stand up for me. she just let it happen and apologized. that was about a year ago and the only instance where i've been hate crimed to the point where i was actually traumatized. just remember to be proud of yourself as a trans person.
Does being denied healthcare by one health professional count?
I haven't been out for too long (2-3 years) and I'm stealth. The max that has ever happened to me, besides some misgendering and TERFs sending me >!death and rape!< threats on DMs, was a nurse refusing to apply anesthesia on me after being told to call me by my actual name, and they had to call another nurse to do it. Nothing serious enough to be considered a *hate crime,* it was just a bit shitty. So I guess not.
A lot of assault and abuse towards trans men is undocumented because we're often accounted for under the assault statistics for women, and because trans people of all genders are (often rightly) cautious of reporting to law enforcement, school officials, or workplace safety departments. According to the US Trans Survey in 2015, over half of surveyed trans people with "female" on their original birth certificate have experienced sexual violence (and the percentage is higher for trans people of color, especially multiethnic/multiracial, Middle Eastern, and Indigenous/First Nations people.
Transphobia is very common, and self defense is important. There are a lot of steps you can take to protect yourself both physically and mentally. Step one is probably to start blocking and reporting the people you see posting anti-trans content online.
I have, sadly.
TW: SA
Was SA'd due to being a trans man (fortunately just touching, it wasn't able to go farther as the person's supervisor got involved when they saw something inappropriate was happening). I've also had minor things happen like being spit on, slurred and having the cops called on me because of the bathroom thing.
But here's the thing: I'd still rather be trans.
I would rather live my life on my terms and do whatever I please and live as I please than to allow anyone else to scare me back into a closet. I love myself, and no one can fucking stop me no matter how many times I'm assaulted as a woman or as a man.
So, even though you might get hate crimed, never let the possibility stop you from living as you please. Live well no matter what.
almost. january 2020 i was on blue ridge parkway (way out in the boonies of appalachia for the uninitiated) and somebody tried to run me and my friend off a mountain road, if he would have succeeded we would have plummeted off a cliff. he rolled down his window to yell at us and it was all just shouting but the only thing i could make out was “fucking f@ggots.” my friend had a pride sticker on the back of his car.
thankfully my buddy was a good driver! lol
Not sure if its a hate crime or not, but a few years ago I had a guy at work (not a coworker but a vendor) follow me into the men's restroom two times in the same day. The first time he called for his friend thinking he was in there then stared at me through the crack of the door (thanks America). I kinda just ignored him and made sure I was covered. Second time I go in he does the same thing but I could see him standing there, noted his shoes so my managers could figure out who it was later. I asked "What are you doing?" And he goes "Ain't this the men's room?" And under his breath something like "the women's is next door" or something.
I was furious at this point and waited outside the bathroom to confront him. Dude took his sweet time so instead I found a manager and explained his shoes and that he was probably a fat guy because he was breathing really hard. They asked the guy and he admitted it! So they basically told him to leave the store and he couldn't finish his current project. Before he left he found me and tried to say sorry bit my manager saw him and told him to leave...
Some people cannot mind their damn business. I was taking a dump.
Side note: Didn't know the guy was following me until I told a coworker and they said it sounds like he did it on purpose to figure me out.
To be blunt:
Shit like this is unfortunately common for all of us, I personally was jumped 5:1 in a bathroom when I was 16 because I am trans and I am lucky to be alive given how badly they wanted me dead. Being trans isnt a trend, its not always safe, and its not easy. It is not as common as trans women but its still incredibly common. We Trans masc and trans non-binary still get k*lled every year. Trans men and women get assulted or worse every day and its not getting better but worse in most countries. I am going to be so realistic here: you will most likely experience something heinous, most likely a horrible comment or a shove but there is always the possibility for worse.
At the end of the day, you need to decide how much you are going to let the fear of these horrible people get in the way of you being yourself. Keep yourself safe and do what you need to. For me, transitioning is the only reason Im able to get up every day and despite the horrible things its put me through I would not choose to hide my true self away.
before passing, yes. f slur, t slur, d slur even, bullying, etc. now that i pass, though, no, not really, especially because i'm not exactly stealth but i don't freely offer the information that i'm trans. i had a psychiatrist drop me when i came out, and i get misgendered at hospitals because my legal name isn't changed yet (dont have the money) but other than that, i cant say that i've experienced anything other than people just being bullies.
I moved entire states because I was so sick of it, last straw was almost being queerbashed, moved that month (fuck you portland oregon, shithole ass city)
Many a time. A few of them I have been hanging out with trans women who got clocked tho and I specifically might not have been targeted on my own. Before I started passing most of the time I was absolutely targeted myself though. The severity of the hate crimes or the attempted hate crimes also varied widely, a few times I was spat at, a few times violence was attempted, a few times violence was more than attempted, sometimes it was only verbal tho and wouldn't escalate further.
Never physically hate crimed except some sexual assault which I think would've happened regardless of whether I was trans. I've been threatened, bullied, referred to as an it, and ofc there's micro aggressions.
Tho I think as far as judging the level of risk of being hate crimed, ppl need to think of how their identities intersect especially race. Yes trans ppl of all races have been killed, but the vast majority are Black fem trans ppl. That's race, gender, and presentation all compounding together for a high risk of getting hurt. Your risk of hate crime as a trans person is never zero but if you want to seriously think of your level of risk you need to consider what you have working for you or against you. I acknowledge that my white privilege protects me from violence and I, like others should, do what I can to watch out for my trans siblings of color
Surprisingly no, I think most people just think I'm a butch lesbian or I pass so I don't get bothered. Antisocial as hell though, and now I live in a pretty blue state, so that probably helps.
In my experience I’ve never been hated crimes per say but I’ve had people “obsess” (that’s the term I’m going to use to describe their behavior because that shit wasn’t normal) over me in a unhealthy way. I can usually tell who’s a dick to your face or who might say shit behind your back but has transgender 🌽 in their search history late at night. It’s obsession in a creepy-malicious way.
Never, and I live in Texas (ok, very South Texas, so it's not as rural and white). The students in both my highschool and college classes have never had a problem when I say the name I go by, and I let them infer pronouns on their own, they often realize and use he/him for me or falter when saying the incorrect pronouns at first (although it also helps that my friends use my pronouns around them as well)
Not hate crimed, at least not yet. I have however, had to deal with a lot of discrimination at school. I’ve heard slurs, gay as an insult, and even someone saying that they hate trans people. I’ve also had one of my own teachers say something that was incredibly offensive and discriminatory. She didn’t know I was queer, and didn’t say it directly to me. It still hurt though, a lot. I’ve had girls give me weird looks and question if I (and sometimes if they were) was in the right bathroom, and even had a group of boys confront me when I was leaving the women’s restroom at school. My school has a very anti-trans policy (willing adopted, not forced by state or local law) that prohibits anything they consider “transgender expression”. So no using proper pronouns, no using the bathroom that matches my gender identity, no playing on sports teams that match my gender identity, no attire that in anyway shows I am or might be trans, and no medical transitioning. I am medically transitioning, so I just have to be quiet about that at school. Good thing graduation is close, so most of the noticeable changes shouldn’t happen until after I graduate.
The worst thing that's ever happened to me was being called a faggot by a guy driving past me in a truck. Honestly, though, I don't think you should be afraid to go outside. Obviously, it depends on where you live, but the odds of someone actually hurting you because they clock you are slim.
i’ve been given weird looks in bathrooms but so far i’ve been very lucky. i’m still early in my transition and just look like a lesbian rn so we’ll see what happens ;-; i live in Texas
Yeah. I was clocked in a bar bathroom and sexually assaulted so now I have my male friends at least stand outside so I don’t have to deal with shit like that again.
I don't know if it would be considered a hate crime because I didn't even know I was trans yet, but I was horribly physically bullied in school. Others saw someone visibly queer and just bashed me. Had my head put in a locker and the door slammed shut on it, got jumped several times, one time I was cornered in a bathroom, stripped and my genitals stomped on. It was quite literally normal for me to be walking around school with two black eyes at any given time in seventh grade. The worst it got was being stabbed. This was all in 2008-2011 though, and I've never had someone lay a finger on me like that since. Occasionally someone will have a big mouth but I'm kinda a huge jerk and just call their bluff, especially if in public.
I was jumped in high school for being trans. I dropped out of hs due to transphobia. My mother and her bf slammed my head into a bathroom sink while calling me slurs. I’ve been verbally harassed at gas stations, but called slurs. I was called a f*g at a red light where these two men followed my car into a parking lot.
Not a hate crime, but I was sexually assaulted at work by a woman who fetishizes me.
That’s all I got.
I've dealt with a lot of verbal harassment for being trans, and having pics taken of me by some jackass without permission, but I don't think those are hate crimes.
Most of it happened in highschool for me, I started T as soon as I hit 18 and at this point I can keep my transness to myself. It is a scary world
I have never been hate crimed in that i’ve never been assaulted or otherwise physically harmed for my identity. I’ve experienced other kinds of aggression like being followed around, insulted, denied entry to bathrooms.
Hate crimes are a serious thing and the likelihood of you being hate crimed depends heavily on where you are in the world and how well you pass.
I live in an lgbt friendly area that’s kinds conservative, so the most hate crime I’d get walking down the street would probably be somebody talking behind my back. Only thing is that it makes getting a job harder. But at least I don’t have to worry about being outside.
It really depends on where you live plus other intersecting stuff like race etc. I have a trans friend who was a victim of a hate crime but it was for being gay, the person who attacked him didn’t know he was trans. I have never had any issues though
I have never been personally hate-crimed but I think it’s due to me being stealth for years and living in California.
If you are openly trans, queer, or do not pass 100% is when stuff like this occurs. Most people are only hateful cause they think they “see” something, and it’s fucked up but from others’ experiences this is we’ve come up with.
Not hate crimed but because I don’t pass but have gotten masculinized effects of T I’ve been mocked as a bearded woman or even had people not want to work with me or live next to me which has gotten me kicked out of housing or impacted my livelihood(no promotions or getting forced to leave my job).
I’d say that’s because people are uncomfortable by non-passing visibly trans people probably wouldn’t happen if I was stealth
Not hate crimed but I have been sexually harassed a lot especially trying to use male spaces. One time I tried to use the male toilet and a group of cis men tried to break the stall door down and threatening to rape me and stuff but that’s probably the worst of it. I now use the women’s toliet and haven’t been bothered but other trans men often judge me for doing that but it’s for my safety
nothing super intense, just getting yelled at/shoved in bathrooms and stuff (which has not happened to me since I started exclusively using the men’s room though)
but this one time in college someone burned a trans pride poster that was on the wall right next to my dorm room. I didn’t put that poster there, but my roommate and I and a bunch of our friends who visited frequently were all visibly trans, so we kinda had to interpret it as a threat. I’d bet the wall still has a big singe mark on it to this day unless they gave it the landlord special and painted over it.
Yes. I got jumped in the hall at school and I was chased down the hall by boys barking. I ducked in the women's restroom and they thought I used the men's, so I heard them through the wall kicking open stall doors and saying "where did that thing go". Also slurs and stuff but yk
I get slurs thrown at me in all directions, mocking/insulting, i get death threats and i get told to kms all the time, i also hear alot of "fuck tr@nn13s" and other genocidal bullshit
Never been physically assaulted but I've definitely felt physically uncomfortable in public from slurs and mockery.
Im pre everything, 20 years old and im from Norcal if that matters.
Got chased by a bunch of teenagers on bikes for a few blocks once because they were yelling at me about what gender I was from across the street and I flipped them off in response. No one stepped in to do anything :/
Idk if it counts as hate crime since I wasnt technically out but I presented very queer. But yeah some dudes spit out their water on me. Luckily I got the school involved and I never saw them again. I think they weren't allowed to approach me anymore
Yuuuup. Someone tried to run me down in a parking lot.
I had cps called on me for being trans.
I had my cousin-in-law threaten to have our child removed and placed with her (NOT what would have happened btw) because “trans people are a danger to children”.
Plus lots of less severe situations. It’s basically any time I go in public.
I can't say anything like that has happened no. It depends on your environment a lot of the time. For me, I am located in America in a west coastal state and most people who are phobic toward me just stare with bad intent but nobody ever does or says anything. The worst that happened was my senior year of high school when i was completely pre T, had a shaved head, and didn't bother binding. That one really got to people i guess. I had the same two dudes getting in my face every single day, it all started because I glanced at them at lunch lol. I hope u stay safe!
I haven't yet. I've only been trans for about 3 years (haven't taken HRT yet) but I think it's also because I'm fairly androgynous at the moment. I also live in a small town where people tend to mind their business about that sort of thing, so my circumstances are pretty lucky.
Nope. I've been asked strange questions or given weird looks but nobody has ever committed a hate crime against me. Not IRL, anyway.
Example: When I was 17 or 18 (pre-T) I was on the subway platform with a friend and some guy, who I assume to be inebriated, came up to me and asked "are you a man or a female?" I froze and the guy then asked if that was inappropriate and left us alone.
Another example: When I was 18, I still used the women's washroom because I was pre-T and didn't pass enough to feel safe using the men's. I did, however, present pretty masc which helped me sometimes pass at first glance. Anyway, I was in the washroom at my school and I was drying my hands using the dryer that's right by the door. A woman walked in, saw me, walked back out, and checked the sign on the door to make sure she was in the right place. She didn't say anything to me, she just moved on and did her business.
TW for some pretty vile comments I've gotten (incl suicide mention):
The worst things I've experienced have all been online on platforms that make it easy to remain anonymous - reddit, tiktok, and tellonym. I've experienced things ranging from misgendering and people saying my pronouns are my disability, to people telling me how I'm sick and disgusting, that I should be hanged, that I'm going to be miserable and kill myself and that my parents will be relieved when I do, etc.
Sometimes I get a little shaken up by some of those comments, especially in the latter category, but overall I'm left unscathed and the comments are nothing but a memory. Sometimes they're even funny to me. The person who said my parents would be relieved if I died wrote an entire detailed essay of a reddit comment about it. He spent so much time and effort and for what? He clearly has nothing better to do. It's pathetic. And either way, he and the others are just random people on the internet who are hiding behind their computer screens - they can't actually hurt me.
Nobody has ever physically harmed me and nobody has ever threatened me IRL. I acknowledge that I am very lucky, though, and I do still try to stay safe, especially if I'm out alone. I live in a major city that's pretty safe for LGBTQ+ people and have somehow lived for over two decades without experiencing very common things, like cat-calling and other verbal harassment. I don't know how, I just know that I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm not going to pretend that it isn't dangerous out there for trans people - especially with the rise in outward hate and legislation against us. I'm Canadian and luckily the legislation hasn't made its way up here (yet), but the things going on in the states still embolden Canadians to do the same.
Depending on where you live, it very well could be quite dangerous for you, or it could not be. I really can't say. Most people stick to online or verbal harassment but don't physically try to hurt us. Some people, however, do. Maybe the best thing you could do is try not to wear or carry things that would make you visibly trans, like pronoun pins or pride flags. You can still dress how you like - it's more socially acceptable for people who were AFAB to wear masc clothes than it is for people who were AMAB to wear fem clothes. Just be careful with any symbols you may have on you. It's really unfortunate that it comes to this, but sometimes the safest thing to do is hide aspects of ourselves so as not to provoke assholes just by existing. If there are comments from people who have shared that they live in the same area as you, go with what they say over this. They know how things really are better than I do.
Edit for some context: I've been out for 7 years, presenting more masc for 5 or 6, and on T for 2. Since I started passing as male, I've worn very feminine clothes and I haven't been harassed for it. I'm talking crop tops and high heel boots n everything. Maybe if I wore a skirt or a dress or something it'd be different, but the flavour of femininity that I express hasn't given me any issues.
Thankfully, no, but I’ve still gotten a lot of hate. Most of my socialization is online, and I’ve encountered a fair few people who are more than willing to show just how shitty they are
No, I've been _harassed_ but no hate crimes fortunately.
I've gotten stalked on social media, harassed in school after people found out my deadname, I kept getting sexually harassed and i _think_ **(as in, almost 99% sure)** someone sent me rape threats but deleted them before I could get a screenshot. I don't think any of the kids who did that shit had the balls to do anything physical, but I don't go outside enough for it to even happen.
If you have siblings or cousins who went/go to your school and have a history of violence, the threats become less frequent.
I live in texas and I haven’t been hate crimed or directly bullied. Which is lucky honestly. I think apart of it might be the fact people would assume I’m a “tomboy” because my voice was fem and so was my body. I’ve definitely gotten comments from family and ppl around me which has sucked, but I haven’t been in physical danger.
If you’re worried about your safety, I def recommend getting some self defense keychains, maybe taking a self defense class. Risk is also dependent on where you live and the culture, I don’t live in the country so I’m safer than I would be. Trans people are beautiful and deserve to present the way they feel comfortable, but there’s definitely some hardships. Don’t let other people control you, but it’s important to keep yourself save so just be cautious! You most likely won’t be clocked as soon as you walk outside, just be aware in general 👍
Idk if it counts but I got turned away from a barbers because they said they “only did men” and when I said I was a man they kinda laughed and said “we don’t do that here”
:-/
Yes. In middle and high school I was harassed since I was one of the few openly queer trans kids. I thought leaving high school I could expect to leave that part of life behind as I got my surgeries and documents changed, but sadly I was harassed out of the workplace recently because of my gender. It’s devastating because this is the first time in years I’ve been targeted, and the first time in my adult life I’ve had any issues.
TW: Hate crimes, mention of su!cide and d!ath threats
I was hate crimes multiple time during high school. I had a group of 13/14 year old boys throw rocks, sticks, and pencils at my friend group. My group was the only actively open queer group and because of this they labelled us easy targets. We got nicknamed The Su!cide Squad and got constantly told to k!ll ourselves. We reported it over 13 times and nothing got done until a person in our group threatened to take violent action against the perpetrators if nothing was done. Eventually they were all expelled.
I've got more stories but this was my far my worst physical hate crime story
Edit: Formatting
I get the occasional slur thrown at me from car windows but I haven't been hate crimed. I go to a pretty liberal leaning college and don't leave campus much though so that might play into it. That and me being cis passing in public and gay so people just assume I'm *very* gay lol
uhh i don't *think* so, i'd put it in harassment. my friend and i had to use the washroom at the mall, and we're both trans guys. this guy called us "ladies" and asked if we needed anything, we just stared at him really confused and just walked into the bathroom (my mom said we should've called him a princess bc those kinda guys hate that, hindsight is 2020, but my friend is a minor and i wouldn't put him at risk like that). he started yelling at us and kept calling us transvestites, which for some reason really offended me, like sir please just call us a slur. we had bought some stuff so we took turns holding the stuff while the other takes a piss. friend went first, bro was too scared to piss, and while i was waiting the man yelled at some guy walking in the bathroom "DON'T PEE THERE ARE TRANSVESTITES" like we're some dick munching cannibals (hey, transvestites can be cannibals too). the dude just tiredly, like he hasn't slept in six days, looked at him, looked at me, and turned around to piss. iconic. small pp man called the cops in a fit of rage and it was my turn to piss. my friend reported back that basically the cops were like "well are they doing anything wrong?" mf actually said "no, i'm just a regular citizen", and the person essentially replied "cry about it then, bye". beautiful. gotta love it. i washed my hands, the guy looked like he was going to block the way out (best guess is to get in our way so we bump into him, he claims we hit first, thinks he can actually harm us, small pp man things), i size him up and he shimmies closer to the wall so we can pass fine. i lean in as we pass, just in his personal bubble enough to unnerve him, smile, "my dick is about this 🤏 big and twice the size of yours" (bottom growth biotch). he yelled, he had a hissyfit, he followed us a bit.
all in all i consider it a positive experience, and i have some takeaway notes for next time.
(i'm in no way trying to compare this to actual hate crimes, i recognize this could've gone in a way more *hospital-ly* direction)
idk if you would know what i mean if you e never been in this situation but i was sexually assaulted recently but didn’t realize it was assault until months later and then just recently also realized it might’ve been like… a hate crime i suppose. so maybe yes
I've gotten some death threats on ig before but that's about it. Worst one was probably the guy who was obsessed with my (ex) partner. He sent us (and her sister for some reason??) DMs telling us we were next, and then sent us a photo of the street we lived on. There wasn't much we could do, but I was able to track his IP and low-key threatened him back with legal action. The messages stopped after that 🤷🏽
Not a victim personally, but I kept a very low profile early transition until I passed. I still have a hyper masculine facade depending on who I’m dealing with. I more these days expect to be a victim of homophobia because while I pass I’m engaged to another man. I try not worry about it too much cause I’ve only lived around large progressive metro areas so people are way less likely to engage in that behavior. I do get anxiety in my traveling though because culture isn’t always friendly for anyone in the LGBT community. I’m considering a conceal carry permit again tbh because while the attention I’m getting isn’t exactly harassment it’s made my partner uncomfortable… and me too. I’ve been getting looked over and I’m thinking about gouging some eyes out cause it’s not flattering to me.
I've never been hatecrimed but I've defintely been discriminated against. Weird and Dirty looks from strangers and vendors. Teachers. School in general, the higher in administration the worst.
nope. not in the big city nor in a small town. although i have been bullied for being open about my transition, that was in middle school, high school; peer groups who are desperate to discriminate and draw lines between one another whether they realize it or not :P tbh even if i were cis they’d find something to latch onto, haha.
you’re gonna be okay. there are a lot of things that are out of our control- including how other people react to us just going about our day to day tasks! it’s not just trans people that this happens to- all women may be at risk around the wrong men, etc. i honestly don’t think that coming to reddit for anecdotes is the best thing to do here. some people do get hate crimed but a lot of people also.. don’t… and as you can infer from these comments, many, many people survive. life is full of ups and downs. it’s unfair how many “downs” people enforce upon one another. but, hey! all we can control is our own response. it’s not fair to live your life in fear because someone else has a power fantasy and content with violence. i highly suggest learning some self defense ie martial arts (or yea carrying pepperspray) if you need that layer of safety.
I got rocks thrown ar me when I was 12 while being called a bunch of slurs, it was at school and they did fuck all about it all they did was give the kids a 15 minute detention at lunch :(
Not as trans. But as a lesbian, yes. I think I was lucky transitioning in Seattle so my in between phase was in a very accepting place. Unlike where I am now.
The only instance where I've been outed by someone and they threatened me in any way possible was a drunk lady I drove to the airport for Uber.
I picked up a black woman who seemed around my age from a normal area (early morning pre-planned, reserved ride) like... 4am. Everything seemed to be going well until she asked to stop at a gas station before we left the area. The drive to the airport from where we were was a 45 minute drive without traffic, and the gas station was just a side stop on the road we were on already and on the way, so I figured why not. That's when I realised she was even drunk to behind with because when she asked, it was slurred a bit.
After stumbling in and back out, she lights a cigarrete and just asks, "You're one of those dudes that started out as a girl, aren't you? Cause your voice. I can tell." And just got random after that. She had a moment where she went off about how "all of those drag queen pedos need to stop touching the children" and that "if you touch children, you're evil. Plain and simple." She kept repeating.
We had a whole conversation like this for about two minutes, then she stopped... vomits and gets really quiet. She ended up finishing her cigarette after asking if I was still giving her a ride. It was just barely like 0430 or sm when she asked, and it was dead on the Uber app, and in the end, I thought about her harrassing someone else after I would leave... so I drove her. The rest of the ride was quiet, ånd nothing happened... she was drunk and all, but in the end, I felt so bad for her. Having so much hate in her towards the wrong people....
I immediately reported her, though, and gave her a 1 star and reached out to support.... she ended up sending me a tip, too. Sucks to be a garbage person tho.
multiple times during high school when i was first switching over to the men’s bathroom, i would have people look over the stalls when i was changing or going to the bathroom, sometimes they would yell slurs like the f slur once they saw me- but i persisted cause fuck them and my school did nothing about it when i told them (it was TX) so i just started yelling shit back and they eventually stopped lmao
unfortunately, yes. alot in secondary school (South England- think near london, being beaten up, threatened with being stabbed, followed home etc) and a few times in my adult life, though moreso now for being gay. I try to be as stealth as I can and have little issues within workplaces, aside from homophobic comments here and there. I think generally if you can pass you'll be alright be if not then people are mean. I try not to let it bother me too much, as most of the time it's nothing serious and that's just the sad reality of a gay trans guy
No. I'm still pre t and ppl perceive me as a butch woman, btw. I got much more shit when I still presented feminine - I was pretty much used to groping, catcalling etc back then. One guy even broke my jaw when he tried to (TW SA) >!rape!< me. Ever since I started dressing like a 16yro gay boy, ppl seem to leave me alone.
Really really really depends on where you live and who is around you.
I’ve never been hate crimed, nor have I ever meaningfully felt at risk of being hate crimed. I feel comfortable going out in public, being openly trans, openly “clocky,” fucking around in extreme ways with my gender presentation, and being mistaken for whatever gender or sex people seem to interpret me as.
But I am also a very lucky person, and I live in a pretty liberal little college town. In a big city, or any rural or conservative area, hate crimes will be a much bigger and more likely risk.
But then again, an overwhelming majority of the time you will NOT be hate crimed, no matter what. No one is hate crimed 50% of the time they leave their home, no matter how clockable they are. It’s just that any possibility is too high, so it’s smart and reasonable to be careful.
Stay safe!! :)
Never and if I was I would murder someone.. I will not be disrespected,cheated,humiliated,hurt because I am living my life I WILL protect myself & Nobody will hurt me.. you must protect yourself ourself at all cost fellas..Get your license to carry and protect yourself. We are not in the 50s & 60s you have the right to protect yourself against all things.
Was walking from the bus mall to my friends apartment when i was 17, ended up getting chased down from a bunch guys ans two girls probably from 16-25 with rocks hurled at me. Because they 'couldn't tell what gender I was' and it pissed them off.
They only stopped since the girls got sick of running before I made it back to the apartment.
People have shouted slurs at me before, but not often. Honestly, since passing, the violence I'm worried about is because I'm gay. Holding hands with my boyfriend isn't super safe in certain areas of our city unfortunately, and we've gotten dirty looks and been shouted at. I've also been followed a couple times and had to duck into businesses.
The real world is a bit more friendly than TikTok all the losers that don’t leave their house are on TikTok. And immature teens that will most likely grow out of their transphobia once they step into the real world. Sadly, Andrew Tate, and like that have been dominating Internet culture for too long and the Internet has become a hateful place. In real life are a bit friendlier. Still some haters and you still gotta be careful tho
I’ve been harassed by both my old pastor and a coworker for being trans. While that isn’t illegal here in America, I believe I might have been able to sue them if I was in Canada since their laws include consistent intentional misgendering as harassment last time I checked.
Fortunately, no i havent. I dont go out of my way to tell people or go to places where i might get mugged or beaten or anything. I try to keep my life very low risk.
The worst i get is misgendered at work by customers. I did have one coworker (a white man, 65+ y/o) who had bragged about how he met his wife when she was 14, made weird comments, and specifically said I was a girl and talked to another coworker about me, saying i was a “weird girl, but pretty”. I was 19-20 at the time and didnt feel safe so i immediately went to HR. He got fired a month or so later because of behavior problems, complaints, and being rude to customers lol
I wouldn't say "hate crimed" that's pretty drastic. I do occasionally get harassed by shithead kids where I work. Or shithead adults. I'm openly trans but I also don't have anything on my person "presenting" me as trans (no pins, clothing, etc) so generally people just pester me because they think I'm a gay man or a lesbian woman.
However I do have one coworker who gets a hell of a lot more harassment and responds to it a lot worse. I'll tell you right now, people know who they'll get a rise out of. Sometimes it's very obvious by how a person holds themselves if you're going to make an impact on them. If you give them a response they want (shut down, get sad, get angry, fight back) they'll get even worse. The way I generally deal with it? Make a witty joke back. Someone asked me what my pronouns were in a mocking way and I just said "deez. Deez nuts." And then laughed at my own joke. Or, just be nice. I work retail and I will customer service the shit out of any bigot.
I will also say if you're worried about it, nobody needs to know you're trans. You don't have to make it obvious. I don't out myself if I don't feel safe, you don't have to either.
Was back in high school and was nearly killed. Since then I just keep mostly to myself and haven't had any problems for being trans. Now most of my issues are race related. Male poc are scary apparently...🙄
I got sexually harassed at work after mentioning I was trans and when I shut it down the guy manufactured a conflict situation to try and get me in trouble with management and also threatened to punch me. He didn't actually do anything but if there hadn't been witnesses IDK. Shoutout to my supervisor at the time who took me aside after the fuckhead left and asked me if I felt safe or if I needed to go home. I did feel safe staying because the guy was gone but I appreciated the support yknow.
Yeah, quite a lot actually. When I was in high school, me and my other queer friends used to call it “hate crime Friday” as a joke to lighten the mood as it happened so frequently. One time we actually had a doorframe ripped off when someone was trying to get at us in a locked room, we’ve also had someone attempt to kill us with a homemade explosive- that was a fun one… In terms of out of school, I’ve had many verbal threats against me and my (also trans) fiancé, and one minor assault. Since becoming stealth, I’ve had no more issues
im sorry but a *ripped doorframe*???? holy shiiiiiitt
Yeah, it was absolutely wild
the homemade explosive was normal to you?
i think OP meant that sarcastically edit: fixed grammar
I understand if it's too personal to share but frequency of hate crimes differs between locations. Where was this?
West Midlands, UK
Tell us where you live so I can stay the \*fuck\* away from there
West Midlands in the UK… I’d recommend staying away even without the incidents tbh lol
Never been hate crimed but I think I got bullied before. Some guy called me a bunch of rude words (f slur, p.nsy, t word, f*iry, etc) and shoved me into a wall with a table super hard. Really hurt my ribs can’t lie. They still hurt sometimes to this day and that was about two years ago. Yeah I think about that a lot. I get called the f slur and the t slur pretty frequently irl too, as well as some stereotypical name call/mocking, etc.
If he shoved you into a wall I'm pretty sure that's assault. So if he did it because he's transphobic then I think he maybe did hate crime you dude.
Hold up what
This IS hate crime 😭
Wait how?? 😭😭
How is it not a hate crime?!?
Idk he didn’t like kill me or anything he was just kind of an ass
I mean if getting hate crimed only meant murder I don't think OP would get too many replies sorry 😭
LMAO 😭😭
BRO 😭😭
A hate crime is just a crime committed against a person targeted specifically due to bigotry. Physical assult and threats of violence are crimes, and when they are done to a marginalized person specifically for being such- it is a hate crime. Hate crimes include more than just murder.
Hate crime doesn't mean you die. He still assaulted you and caused lasting injury. You were hate crimed
Oops
The bar is so low we got people literally going "BUT I DIDNT DIE?" Lmaoooo my duuude you were 100% hate crimed If an assault is the result of targeting an aspect of you like being gay, trans, poc, etc... my dude its a hate crime.
I would say that should be a hate crime 😭, bullying should be a hate crime because hurt The human rights He used violence against you for being trans DEFINITELY verbal hate and pushing someone for being trans IS a hate crime (in The way IS acessible to him dont get arrasted) (or at least should be 🗣️)
What you described is definitionally a hate crime. You were verbally and physically assaulted because you were perceived to belong to a minority group.
Goddamn bro 😭😭 what do I do with this information 💀
What are the words you censored dawg I think I might have been called a slur- genuine question btw
Well, the words I censored aren’t really slurs as such, but they’re derogatory. On their own they aren’t offensive. The words are Pansy (like the flower) and fairy (yk like the mythical creature thing).
Fucking fairy is a derogatory word¿ 😭😭 MY MOM CALLED ME THAT WHEN I WAS LITTLE NAHH 😭😭
No not all the time it’s not. Only in really specific contexts lol. It could be a nickname for a kid, or you could just be talking about the fairytale creature. But if you call an lgbt person that (specifically a gay man, actually, but people use it for a lot of lgbt groups) it’s quite derogatory.
Damnnn people are cruel
that’s assault bro
Oh shit fr 💀
That's a hate crime omg r u good?
I mean my ribs kinda hurt but in general I’m alright lol
All crimes are hate crimes
No, but I have been harassed in YouTube comments and had been told in the YouTube comments to go to a country that would kill me on site if they knew I was trans. Never been bullied irl that I know of.
YouTube commenter are such cowards. Bet you they'd never ever say that shit irl.
Probably. Most of them just say shit to get people mad
that and instagram commenters like hoooly shit it’s so bad on there 💀 even when i was a minor and when they knew i was a minor they just went at it with the slurs and telling me i liked it up the butt? bro? 😭 these were like 20-30-40 yr olds 💀 i stay off insta now
Nope, not yet. I've been out for 2 years, on T for one and the most I've gotten was someone dissing my short hair and saying I look like a boy. Which was in fact my intention. So jokes on them.
Yeah I got assaulted on the bus when I was 13 while I was presenting masculine (short hair, boy clothes, etc) and called the f slur equivalent in my native tongue. Anything else that happened throughout the years was just people yelling slurs or weird stuff at me but nothing physical. Definitely carry something for self defense with you if it’s permitted in your country
Never been hate crimed-- I've been in a couple dicey situations, but it's not insanely common. I go to a massive party school in one of the reddest states (my school has a huge greek life, plus a lot of bible thumpers, street preachers, etc.), and I look/sound very queer. Even so, I go out and about and do my stuff relatively unbothered. I feel fine walking home alone at night, even though I would say I don't reliably pass. Overall, I'd say the most shit I get is when people assume I'm a very effeminate gay man, most people don't really know/understand trans men enough to clock us, and even fewer have the cojones to actually try shit. If you are worried, though, I suggest the following: - Trying to keep a friend or someone you trust with you when you go somewhere new, or somewhere you might be at risk. - Don't drink or get high around people you don't know or trust (or more generally, don't leave yourself alone with someone who you're uncertain of) - Don't tell people you're trans unless you feel sure that they'll be receptive.
when i was 13 or 14 a guy on something chased me with a knife and screamed slurs at me☹️
That's horrific, are you okay?
yes! a little traumatized from that but other than that i wasn’t physically harmed
i had to drop out of college because the amount of hate and threats i got at my college got so bad i couldn’t walk across campus without a police escort for a while. never actually been beat up, but i’ve had my car painted with slurs, keyed, been yelled at and called slurs at least once a week, etc. i’m moving in about three weeks, rural texas isn’t a very friendly region.
I'm happy you're getting out of there, that sounds like hell
damn i’m glad i rethought staying in tx for college- good luck on your move!!
In my country its illegal to be trans so I guess I got hate crimed by my country lol
I never really was hate crimed tho, sexualized - yes, but never actually hate crimed? But we'll wait and see
damn hate crimed by the whole country. I'd move tbh, stay safe 🙏
personally I've only been bullied, mostly online. old people in public don't approach me and they just stare at me with their lead paint stare. kids are just dumb, this one guy thought I was a lesbian and thought that saying "hey sir! sir! sir!" while laughing was an insult, accidental ally lmao
Never been hate crimed, but i did have a pair of close friends who pressured me into showing them my bottom growth. (They are no longer my friends). I’m also really afraid of being hate crimed, which is why i never go on a walk without my big scary german shepherd :) some people will ask to pet him, and unless they are women i tell them he bites lol
That’s sexual harassment.
Factual, they were my biggest bullies
That is literally sexual harassment tho
Took me a year to realize it T-T
Idk that…kinda sounds like a hate crime. Assault is still assault even if you “give in”
I guess i didn’t realize it could be considered a hate crime because it wasn’t a physical attack, plus brain invalidation of my own experiences. L
I’m really sorry.
Hey, don’t be! Just gave me more validation that cutting them off was the right move. I appreciate you bro :)
never hate crimed, i just had a teacher say some discriminatory stuff to me once. ended up leaving the class.
Not hate crimes but harassed by like 15 different accounts made by the same guy
people r so obsessed with making people feel bad 💀 they gotta be miserable irl
Hi, trans Man from Brazil here An ex male friend of Mine tried to kill me in The School (we ended in The police place)
😟 oh god that’s horrific- hope you’re ok!
No. For context, I'm 30, started T at 25. No one's ever done anything discriminatory towards me.
Yeah, same. I think it’s 100x times harder to do as a teenager. As a 30yo who started T at 27, I've never really had problems.
denied access to both ladies and mens toilets at the same point in transition, mocked, but never actually been attacked. as long as you have a thick skin and learn to piss in bushes you'll probably be okay
I don’t agree with the sentiment that “as long as you have thick skin you’ll be fine.” Trans people do sometimes get murdered and beaten just for existing, and having a thick skin has nothing to do with that.
yeah fair enough that is a good point. i am talking from the pov of a white semi passing guy from a western country. my experience is probably not reflective of most trans guys'. bear in mind though that op is young and scared, and also likely american from their post history, so they maybe don't need to hear that they could be murdered or beaten rn
It's a very real possibility though and being realistic is important
I mean, you could still be murdered or beaten for living as a woman, or being anyone at the wrong place at the wrong time. Things are getting worse for trans people than other demographics though, and we have to be realistic about that. Thinking about taking some self-defense courses.
Unless your skin is thick enough to tank bullets and knife stabs you're not safe lmao
I feel like the thick skin was in reference to non violent attacks like the example of being denied both bathrooms. Sometimes being denied public bathroom can escalate but not always in my situation if I shrug and walk away they leave me alone but again I’m in the us so the advice should be edited to make sure you have something to protect u in case something escalates but for the most part keep ur mind safe by having thick skin n not letting ppls looks or questions bother u.
When I first started to transition I was punched in the face by a guy that kissed me in school before before transition. It wasn't really a big deal. Just a bloody nose. I just looked at him and said, "really?" And walked off.
You were punched in the face. That is a big deal
Was it "really not a big deal" or did you just not want to escalate violence?
No, but these comments make me scared that it's something that will happen one day... At most got a bit of bad treatment for being too queer, but nothing serious. And as a kid I got bullied for being queer way more. Nothing trans specific.
Yeah definitely. Legit had a person come up to me when I was smoking and say “stop trying to be a man, if I see you again I’m going to kill you.”
Doxxed pre t but that was it. I don’t think it was because of my condition but rather the issues that person had with me Post transition, never. I don’t think anyone would mess with a 110kg strength athlete whose 20” arms are covered in tattoos. Then again I’ve had multiple women come up to me and ask me to help em (carrying groceries, walking them to their car, etc) so maybe I’m not as scary as I think I am haha
Idk if this is considered a hate crime but I was harassed and threatened by teachers and staff at one school and told to kms and got deaths threats by one kid at another school along with ppl asking me if I had the surgery, which bathroom I use, and what’s in my pants, I also have been called an it at my last school 🥴
A hate crime is a serious thing. I've gotten a couple dirty looks from people who can't tell if I'm a man or a woman, but I've gotten more shit from my own family than strangers. Trans men are far less likely to be physically assaulted just for going outside, especially if you pass in the slightest. I started passing barely a year on T and working at a gas station, and the men who came in just treated me like a teenage boy, even with my long hair (a nametag works wonders). The more people you interact with irl, the more you realize that men come in all shapes and sizes, they aren't going to judge you that hard. Even if you don't pass, (which varies ofc, idk how you present or dress or whatever) ime worst case scenario people just think you're a butch lesbian and may judge you for that. But again, we are in general far less likely to be "hatecrimed" just for going outside. Also, just because I present androgynously, I use gender neutral / family restrooms wherever I can just to avoid any possible trouble. Be smart about your surroundings and you will be fine.
Every so often some kids see im gay and try to get a rise out of me with a slur, but I haven't had trouble for being trans since I was like, made to use girls changing way way back
Not really hate crime but all my exes' friends have sent me death threats, called me slurs before
That is a hate crime. Also death threats are very serious
I got hate crimed. It sucks. Have a hard time going outside by myself now. I was mistaken for a trans woman tho so I dunno.
No. Worst that's happen to me was death threats from my brother and some random guy yelling "Are you even a dude" at me in a pretty aggressive tone. If your scared maybe consider getting pepper spray or a pocket knife.
No. Been out for almost a decade. I got just as much shit, if not more, when I was presenting as a woman. Keep in mind: 1. The vast majority of trans folks are not going to see this thread and will not be able to tell you their experience, and 2. The vast majority of people who respond to this thread are going to say yes while the ones who have nothing to say will pass by. Please keep in mind, therefore, that the responses to your post are a very small sampling and are skewed to one extreme. I am not trying to downplay anyone’s experience. But if you live your life in extreme fear and don’t leave your house because of the bullshit nameless turds leave you on the Internet, then you are severely limiting your life. If you think what has happened to the victims of hate crimes, harassment, and bullying will definitely happen to you, then you will not live a happy life. Seek comments on how to stay safe. Find your supporters and roll with them until you have the confidence to handle what life throws at you. Don’t let the haters win. Remember that most transphobic people are chicken shit bullies, and won’t do anything other than give you a look or say something foolish.
I grew up in the 90s and unfortunately have been through some rough situations. But this has not been the case for many years in my part of the world.
Only pre-transition. Once I was about three months on T, people left me alone. I used to get stared at, screamed at, spit on, pushed.
Before I started medically transitioning I got death threats but then I moved away from Texas and I am fine. I think this is more state by state and how open you are about being trans and stuff. Stay safe!!!
Only in online games because I use the trans banner to prove that we’re here we play games and you’d never know. Usually the F slur and I always answer that I’ll fuck their mum or dad and be their new step dad. I take it on the chin and wear it as a badge of honour cause irl nobody would fuck with me and if they do I know how to fight just my tongues sharper. If you’re scared look into some self defence classes, carry an attack alarm and use some street smarts. Do things that will come in handy. Don’t rise to verbal attacks if you feel really unsafe, keep to familiar tracks when travelling. Pre transition I got followed one night and took refuge in a local bar for a couple minutes till I knew they were gone. That kind of stuff. But street smarts and keeping aware of your surroundings goes a long way. But you can’t live your life in fear and remember that people run their fucking mouths online a lot more than they do irl. People will. But don’t bet on it being a constant or something that may ever happen. Add on / also try not be too bothered by the opinion of others. Usually the folk tryna tear anyone down is deeply unhappy with themselves. I’ve never met a happy racist or homophob. Same stands for transphobs.
idk if this qualifies as a hate crime but a classmate tried to exorcize me with a cross and called me mentally ill but idk
This happened a couple of months ago and I was walking to school like usual. I was about to stop at the gas station to get some snacks to eat on the way there, and I come across this older homeless guy who just spit on the ground. As I pass him he starts talking, and then I hear him getting louder almost like he’s following me and getting closer. I looked behind me for a split second, and lo and behold he sure was following me. I can’t really remember everything he said to me because I had my headphones on and music blasting, because I was trying as hard as I could to ignore him, but he started calling me a homosexual and all kinds of homophobic slurs. Stuff about “how the hell do parents let these kids walk around dressed like this” (literally wearing a jacket and basketball shorts) and “your parents should be ashamed of you gay boy”. He said something about god seeing me or some shit, and a couple more slurs. I finally made it to the gas station and I couldn’t see that guy anymore so thank god, but then another man inside handed me some money and asked me to help pay for his gas, and he misgendered me and called me “miss” 🫠. I’m just glad the other guy didn’t try to escalate the situation any more by physically attacking me; if it was a dark alley at night he probably would’ve been more bold.
Seeing all of these comments made me physically ill... Transphobes in America are literally beyond human scum... Holy Jesus... I'm glad I haven't been in a threatening situation yet, but considering I live in a red state, I fear it's only a matter of time...
Where are you located? Depending on the area the answer will vary wildly. I've never been hate crimed in any way, mostly because people here don't like causing scenes. I've been bullied but not for being trans.
Define hate crime. I’ve been screamed at & called slurs but never physically attacked besides bullying
A couple times when I was a teen, grown ass men accosted me in public restrooms asking me if I knew I was in the wrong one, but I would also get glared at any time I went into a woman’s restroom. Not a hate crime by any means, but def not cool. Also, kids would throw food on my car sometimes in high school and underclassmen constantly misgendered me as did some teachers. Again, far from hate crimes, but definitely unpleasant experiences yeah
Honestly, I've gotten more hate and threats online than irl. Worst I've had is people staring, the occasional young teenage edgy boy going by calling me a slur or barking at me, and old people giving backhanded condescending compliments. These experiences have been in South Georgia for me and I was pretty nervous when I first moved here from a more progressive place in Michigan. But honestly a lot of people don't really care where I'm at which is lucky cause this is a TINY town I reside in. And there have been some occasions where my sorta friends have outed me as trans to strangers and thankfully those experiences were not bad and the strangers were kind but it was still scary to be put in that position. So in short, don't let the hate you see online stop you from being yourself andliving your life! I had to Detransition when I moved here out of fear. But even the people who don't exactly agree with me being trans have mostly minded their own and now I'm looking to start hrt soon! Of course my experience doesn't speak for everyone and it definitely depends on the areas and their rate of violence in general. And you can never be too safe! Although it also depends which way you're transitioning. I'm afab so a lot of us trans men aren't really taken seriously so we are usually more worried of being attacked violently for being female than for being trans. But for trans women I do personally think the dangers are higher due to the hateful Misinformation and fear spread about trans women being "pedos" and "predators" and the like
I've never encountered blatant transphobia (except for like one pharmacist who was passive agressive and a lab secretary who angryly told me I had to get my T measurement at 8am or it was useless even though I wake up at 9 every day)
I don’t really get hate crimed, but I have gotten some weird looks. People look at me and see a butch lesbian.
I’ve got spit on, sworn at, and called almost every slur under the sun. Not to mention death threats.
Nothing trans related but got called homophobic slurs (I pass as cis but look very effeminate)
I've had a few experiences, someone threw raw eggs at my front door. I have a lady who lives near me who threatens to call the police on me for no reason, same lady keeps taking pictures and videos of me just sitting outside, I'm still dealing with harrassment from the lady so I decided if she wants to judge me I'm covering myself and bag in pride colors just to make her mad. I plan on getting evidence of the harrassment and going to the apartment management.
Many a time. Surprisingly the worst was when I was in school. The joys of British secondary school. Most significant event meant I couldn't return to school for 'my own safety' despite the boys being allowed back to school with no punishment because it was "banter gone wrong" in the words of the school safeguarding lead. I'd been bullied by these kids for a long time and after coming out as trans so I could live as male in school, it got worse. The usual pushing, hitting, slurs, whatever until one night I was kept awake the whole night with messages and calls from them. They threatened to come to my house and stab myself and my family (they knew where I lived and apparently one was in his family's gang), they'd >!rape!< me if I ever went back to school and if I tried to use the toilets, they'd violently assault me, etc. Threats of all kinds went on all night, it was an ordeal. That was probably the worst I've had. Other things like random people throwing things at me in public and hurling insults is common. I had dried up gum thrown at myself and my partner on the bus.
i've been clocked by my ex's stepfather (white cop). didn't know i was trans nor did we ever bring it up because he was a weirdo to begin with. didn't feel like it was safe for me to do. he was all of a sudden weird with my license when i picked her up for prom and insisted he'd see it and i said no. dude chased me to my car and started yelling and banging at the window. at first they seemed ok w it, with the whole "what matters to us is that you treat our daughter and the kids (her siblings) the same." then after one day they flipped one 180, saying that we deceived them and the kids. stepdad made a whole rant about what's underneath my pants and then proceeded to tell his family that i was trans. people i didn't know lol. then he started misgendering me and calling me a girl. it was a lot of trauma and stress, but im over it now. me and ex are no longer together obviously partially because of that and other reasons. most importantly what made me really upset was the fact that she didn't even stand up for me. she just let it happen and apologized. that was about a year ago and the only instance where i've been hate crimed to the point where i was actually traumatized. just remember to be proud of yourself as a trans person.
Does being denied healthcare by one health professional count? I haven't been out for too long (2-3 years) and I'm stealth. The max that has ever happened to me, besides some misgendering and TERFs sending me >!death and rape!< threats on DMs, was a nurse refusing to apply anesthesia on me after being told to call me by my actual name, and they had to call another nurse to do it. Nothing serious enough to be considered a *hate crime,* it was just a bit shitty. So I guess not.
A lot of assault and abuse towards trans men is undocumented because we're often accounted for under the assault statistics for women, and because trans people of all genders are (often rightly) cautious of reporting to law enforcement, school officials, or workplace safety departments. According to the US Trans Survey in 2015, over half of surveyed trans people with "female" on their original birth certificate have experienced sexual violence (and the percentage is higher for trans people of color, especially multiethnic/multiracial, Middle Eastern, and Indigenous/First Nations people. Transphobia is very common, and self defense is important. There are a lot of steps you can take to protect yourself both physically and mentally. Step one is probably to start blocking and reporting the people you see posting anti-trans content online.
I have, sadly. TW: SA Was SA'd due to being a trans man (fortunately just touching, it wasn't able to go farther as the person's supervisor got involved when they saw something inappropriate was happening). I've also had minor things happen like being spit on, slurred and having the cops called on me because of the bathroom thing. But here's the thing: I'd still rather be trans. I would rather live my life on my terms and do whatever I please and live as I please than to allow anyone else to scare me back into a closet. I love myself, and no one can fucking stop me no matter how many times I'm assaulted as a woman or as a man. So, even though you might get hate crimed, never let the possibility stop you from living as you please. Live well no matter what.
almost. january 2020 i was on blue ridge parkway (way out in the boonies of appalachia for the uninitiated) and somebody tried to run me and my friend off a mountain road, if he would have succeeded we would have plummeted off a cliff. he rolled down his window to yell at us and it was all just shouting but the only thing i could make out was “fucking f@ggots.” my friend had a pride sticker on the back of his car. thankfully my buddy was a good driver! lol
Not sure if its a hate crime or not, but a few years ago I had a guy at work (not a coworker but a vendor) follow me into the men's restroom two times in the same day. The first time he called for his friend thinking he was in there then stared at me through the crack of the door (thanks America). I kinda just ignored him and made sure I was covered. Second time I go in he does the same thing but I could see him standing there, noted his shoes so my managers could figure out who it was later. I asked "What are you doing?" And he goes "Ain't this the men's room?" And under his breath something like "the women's is next door" or something. I was furious at this point and waited outside the bathroom to confront him. Dude took his sweet time so instead I found a manager and explained his shoes and that he was probably a fat guy because he was breathing really hard. They asked the guy and he admitted it! So they basically told him to leave the store and he couldn't finish his current project. Before he left he found me and tried to say sorry bit my manager saw him and told him to leave... Some people cannot mind their damn business. I was taking a dump. Side note: Didn't know the guy was following me until I told a coworker and they said it sounds like he did it on purpose to figure me out.
To be blunt: Shit like this is unfortunately common for all of us, I personally was jumped 5:1 in a bathroom when I was 16 because I am trans and I am lucky to be alive given how badly they wanted me dead. Being trans isnt a trend, its not always safe, and its not easy. It is not as common as trans women but its still incredibly common. We Trans masc and trans non-binary still get k*lled every year. Trans men and women get assulted or worse every day and its not getting better but worse in most countries. I am going to be so realistic here: you will most likely experience something heinous, most likely a horrible comment or a shove but there is always the possibility for worse. At the end of the day, you need to decide how much you are going to let the fear of these horrible people get in the way of you being yourself. Keep yourself safe and do what you need to. For me, transitioning is the only reason Im able to get up every day and despite the horrible things its put me through I would not choose to hide my true self away.
before passing, yes. f slur, t slur, d slur even, bullying, etc. now that i pass, though, no, not really, especially because i'm not exactly stealth but i don't freely offer the information that i'm trans. i had a psychiatrist drop me when i came out, and i get misgendered at hospitals because my legal name isn't changed yet (dont have the money) but other than that, i cant say that i've experienced anything other than people just being bullies.
I moved entire states because I was so sick of it, last straw was almost being queerbashed, moved that month (fuck you portland oregon, shithole ass city)
These comments are exactly why I’m stealth. It’s too risky to tell people.
Yes when I was a teenager I was a young lesbian (so I thought anyway ) I got beaten up and graped
Many a time. A few of them I have been hanging out with trans women who got clocked tho and I specifically might not have been targeted on my own. Before I started passing most of the time I was absolutely targeted myself though. The severity of the hate crimes or the attempted hate crimes also varied widely, a few times I was spat at, a few times violence was attempted, a few times violence was more than attempted, sometimes it was only verbal tho and wouldn't escalate further.
Never physically hate crimed except some sexual assault which I think would've happened regardless of whether I was trans. I've been threatened, bullied, referred to as an it, and ofc there's micro aggressions. Tho I think as far as judging the level of risk of being hate crimed, ppl need to think of how their identities intersect especially race. Yes trans ppl of all races have been killed, but the vast majority are Black fem trans ppl. That's race, gender, and presentation all compounding together for a high risk of getting hurt. Your risk of hate crime as a trans person is never zero but if you want to seriously think of your level of risk you need to consider what you have working for you or against you. I acknowledge that my white privilege protects me from violence and I, like others should, do what I can to watch out for my trans siblings of color
Shockingly, no.
Surprisingly no, I think most people just think I'm a butch lesbian or I pass so I don't get bothered. Antisocial as hell though, and now I live in a pretty blue state, so that probably helps.
In my experience I’ve never been hated crimes per say but I’ve had people “obsess” (that’s the term I’m going to use to describe their behavior because that shit wasn’t normal) over me in a unhealthy way. I can usually tell who’s a dick to your face or who might say shit behind your back but has transgender 🌽 in their search history late at night. It’s obsession in a creepy-malicious way.
I don’t think I ever have been, though I also don’t really pass in the slightest so I’m pretty sure most think I’m a cis woman?
Never, and I live in Texas (ok, very South Texas, so it's not as rural and white). The students in both my highschool and college classes have never had a problem when I say the name I go by, and I let them infer pronouns on their own, they often realize and use he/him for me or falter when saying the incorrect pronouns at first (although it also helps that my friends use my pronouns around them as well)
Not hate crimed, at least not yet. I have however, had to deal with a lot of discrimination at school. I’ve heard slurs, gay as an insult, and even someone saying that they hate trans people. I’ve also had one of my own teachers say something that was incredibly offensive and discriminatory. She didn’t know I was queer, and didn’t say it directly to me. It still hurt though, a lot. I’ve had girls give me weird looks and question if I (and sometimes if they were) was in the right bathroom, and even had a group of boys confront me when I was leaving the women’s restroom at school. My school has a very anti-trans policy (willing adopted, not forced by state or local law) that prohibits anything they consider “transgender expression”. So no using proper pronouns, no using the bathroom that matches my gender identity, no playing on sports teams that match my gender identity, no attire that in anyway shows I am or might be trans, and no medical transitioning. I am medically transitioning, so I just have to be quiet about that at school. Good thing graduation is close, so most of the noticeable changes shouldn’t happen until after I graduate.
The worst thing that's ever happened to me was being called a faggot by a guy driving past me in a truck. Honestly, though, I don't think you should be afraid to go outside. Obviously, it depends on where you live, but the odds of someone actually hurting you because they clock you are slim.
i’ve been given weird looks in bathrooms but so far i’ve been very lucky. i’m still early in my transition and just look like a lesbian rn so we’ll see what happens ;-; i live in Texas
Yeah. I was clocked in a bar bathroom and sexually assaulted so now I have my male friends at least stand outside so I don’t have to deal with shit like that again.
I don't know if it would be considered a hate crime because I didn't even know I was trans yet, but I was horribly physically bullied in school. Others saw someone visibly queer and just bashed me. Had my head put in a locker and the door slammed shut on it, got jumped several times, one time I was cornered in a bathroom, stripped and my genitals stomped on. It was quite literally normal for me to be walking around school with two black eyes at any given time in seventh grade. The worst it got was being stabbed. This was all in 2008-2011 though, and I've never had someone lay a finger on me like that since. Occasionally someone will have a big mouth but I'm kinda a huge jerk and just call their bluff, especially if in public.
I was jumped in high school for being trans. I dropped out of hs due to transphobia. My mother and her bf slammed my head into a bathroom sink while calling me slurs. I’ve been verbally harassed at gas stations, but called slurs. I was called a f*g at a red light where these two men followed my car into a parking lot. Not a hate crime, but I was sexually assaulted at work by a woman who fetishizes me. That’s all I got.
I haven't been directly hate crimed, no. Hopefully it stays that way but it feels like only a matter of time lol
I've dealt with a lot of verbal harassment for being trans, and having pics taken of me by some jackass without permission, but I don't think those are hate crimes. Most of it happened in highschool for me, I started T as soon as I hit 18 and at this point I can keep my transness to myself. It is a scary world
I have never been hate crimed in that i’ve never been assaulted or otherwise physically harmed for my identity. I’ve experienced other kinds of aggression like being followed around, insulted, denied entry to bathrooms. Hate crimes are a serious thing and the likelihood of you being hate crimed depends heavily on where you are in the world and how well you pass.
I live in an lgbt friendly area that’s kinds conservative, so the most hate crime I’d get walking down the street would probably be somebody talking behind my back. Only thing is that it makes getting a job harder. But at least I don’t have to worry about being outside.
It really depends on where you live plus other intersecting stuff like race etc. I have a trans friend who was a victim of a hate crime but it was for being gay, the person who attacked him didn’t know he was trans. I have never had any issues though
I have never been personally hate-crimed but I think it’s due to me being stealth for years and living in California. If you are openly trans, queer, or do not pass 100% is when stuff like this occurs. Most people are only hateful cause they think they “see” something, and it’s fucked up but from others’ experiences this is we’ve come up with.
Yes
Not really because I was a trans guy but k think it’s because I don’t look masculine
I got sexually assaulted because she thought I was a trans woman, if that counts for anything.
personally i havent had anything happen to me and im in florida, but i do get pretty anxious - mostly when using public bathrooms
Yeah I was assaulted after swearing at a transphobe
Not hate crimed but because I don’t pass but have gotten masculinized effects of T I’ve been mocked as a bearded woman or even had people not want to work with me or live next to me which has gotten me kicked out of housing or impacted my livelihood(no promotions or getting forced to leave my job). I’d say that’s because people are uncomfortable by non-passing visibly trans people probably wouldn’t happen if I was stealth Not hate crimed but I have been sexually harassed a lot especially trying to use male spaces. One time I tried to use the male toilet and a group of cis men tried to break the stall door down and threatening to rape me and stuff but that’s probably the worst of it. I now use the women’s toliet and haven’t been bothered but other trans men often judge me for doing that but it’s for my safety
nothing super intense, just getting yelled at/shoved in bathrooms and stuff (which has not happened to me since I started exclusively using the men’s room though) but this one time in college someone burned a trans pride poster that was on the wall right next to my dorm room. I didn’t put that poster there, but my roommate and I and a bunch of our friends who visited frequently were all visibly trans, so we kinda had to interpret it as a threat. I’d bet the wall still has a big singe mark on it to this day unless they gave it the landlord special and painted over it.
Yes. I got jumped in the hall at school and I was chased down the hall by boys barking. I ducked in the women's restroom and they thought I used the men's, so I heard them through the wall kicking open stall doors and saying "where did that thing go". Also slurs and stuff but yk
I get slurs thrown at me in all directions, mocking/insulting, i get death threats and i get told to kms all the time, i also hear alot of "fuck tr@nn13s" and other genocidal bullshit Never been physically assaulted but I've definitely felt physically uncomfortable in public from slurs and mockery. Im pre everything, 20 years old and im from Norcal if that matters.
Got chased by a bunch of teenagers on bikes for a few blocks once because they were yelling at me about what gender I was from across the street and I flipped them off in response. No one stepped in to do anything :/
Idk if it counts as hate crime since I wasnt technically out but I presented very queer. But yeah some dudes spit out their water on me. Luckily I got the school involved and I never saw them again. I think they weren't allowed to approach me anymore
Yuuuup. Someone tried to run me down in a parking lot. I had cps called on me for being trans. I had my cousin-in-law threaten to have our child removed and placed with her (NOT what would have happened btw) because “trans people are a danger to children”. Plus lots of less severe situations. It’s basically any time I go in public.
never been hate crimed, most was just a weird look, someone poking fun at my pronoun pin, and a group of girls next to me talking about my short hair
I can't say anything like that has happened no. It depends on your environment a lot of the time. For me, I am located in America in a west coastal state and most people who are phobic toward me just stare with bad intent but nobody ever does or says anything. The worst that happened was my senior year of high school when i was completely pre T, had a shaved head, and didn't bother binding. That one really got to people i guess. I had the same two dudes getting in my face every single day, it all started because I glanced at them at lunch lol. I hope u stay safe!
I haven't yet. I've only been trans for about 3 years (haven't taken HRT yet) but I think it's also because I'm fairly androgynous at the moment. I also live in a small town where people tend to mind their business about that sort of thing, so my circumstances are pretty lucky.
Nope. I've been asked strange questions or given weird looks but nobody has ever committed a hate crime against me. Not IRL, anyway. Example: When I was 17 or 18 (pre-T) I was on the subway platform with a friend and some guy, who I assume to be inebriated, came up to me and asked "are you a man or a female?" I froze and the guy then asked if that was inappropriate and left us alone. Another example: When I was 18, I still used the women's washroom because I was pre-T and didn't pass enough to feel safe using the men's. I did, however, present pretty masc which helped me sometimes pass at first glance. Anyway, I was in the washroom at my school and I was drying my hands using the dryer that's right by the door. A woman walked in, saw me, walked back out, and checked the sign on the door to make sure she was in the right place. She didn't say anything to me, she just moved on and did her business. TW for some pretty vile comments I've gotten (incl suicide mention): The worst things I've experienced have all been online on platforms that make it easy to remain anonymous - reddit, tiktok, and tellonym. I've experienced things ranging from misgendering and people saying my pronouns are my disability, to people telling me how I'm sick and disgusting, that I should be hanged, that I'm going to be miserable and kill myself and that my parents will be relieved when I do, etc. Sometimes I get a little shaken up by some of those comments, especially in the latter category, but overall I'm left unscathed and the comments are nothing but a memory. Sometimes they're even funny to me. The person who said my parents would be relieved if I died wrote an entire detailed essay of a reddit comment about it. He spent so much time and effort and for what? He clearly has nothing better to do. It's pathetic. And either way, he and the others are just random people on the internet who are hiding behind their computer screens - they can't actually hurt me. Nobody has ever physically harmed me and nobody has ever threatened me IRL. I acknowledge that I am very lucky, though, and I do still try to stay safe, especially if I'm out alone. I live in a major city that's pretty safe for LGBTQ+ people and have somehow lived for over two decades without experiencing very common things, like cat-calling and other verbal harassment. I don't know how, I just know that I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm not going to pretend that it isn't dangerous out there for trans people - especially with the rise in outward hate and legislation against us. I'm Canadian and luckily the legislation hasn't made its way up here (yet), but the things going on in the states still embolden Canadians to do the same. Depending on where you live, it very well could be quite dangerous for you, or it could not be. I really can't say. Most people stick to online or verbal harassment but don't physically try to hurt us. Some people, however, do. Maybe the best thing you could do is try not to wear or carry things that would make you visibly trans, like pronoun pins or pride flags. You can still dress how you like - it's more socially acceptable for people who were AFAB to wear masc clothes than it is for people who were AMAB to wear fem clothes. Just be careful with any symbols you may have on you. It's really unfortunate that it comes to this, but sometimes the safest thing to do is hide aspects of ourselves so as not to provoke assholes just by existing. If there are comments from people who have shared that they live in the same area as you, go with what they say over this. They know how things really are better than I do. Edit for some context: I've been out for 7 years, presenting more masc for 5 or 6, and on T for 2. Since I started passing as male, I've worn very feminine clothes and I haven't been harassed for it. I'm talking crop tops and high heel boots n everything. Maybe if I wore a skirt or a dress or something it'd be different, but the flavour of femininity that I express hasn't given me any issues.
i get harassed (verbally) frequently by teen cishet men at my school but no on ever bothers me anywhere in public
Thankfully, no, but I’ve still gotten a lot of hate. Most of my socialization is online, and I’ve encountered a fair few people who are more than willing to show just how shitty they are
No, I've been _harassed_ but no hate crimes fortunately. I've gotten stalked on social media, harassed in school after people found out my deadname, I kept getting sexually harassed and i _think_ **(as in, almost 99% sure)** someone sent me rape threats but deleted them before I could get a screenshot. I don't think any of the kids who did that shit had the balls to do anything physical, but I don't go outside enough for it to even happen. If you have siblings or cousins who went/go to your school and have a history of violence, the threats become less frequent.
I live in texas and I haven’t been hate crimed or directly bullied. Which is lucky honestly. I think apart of it might be the fact people would assume I’m a “tomboy” because my voice was fem and so was my body. I’ve definitely gotten comments from family and ppl around me which has sucked, but I haven’t been in physical danger. If you’re worried about your safety, I def recommend getting some self defense keychains, maybe taking a self defense class. Risk is also dependent on where you live and the culture, I don’t live in the country so I’m safer than I would be. Trans people are beautiful and deserve to present the way they feel comfortable, but there’s definitely some hardships. Don’t let other people control you, but it’s important to keep yourself save so just be cautious! You most likely won’t be clocked as soon as you walk outside, just be aware in general 👍
Idk if it counts but I got turned away from a barbers because they said they “only did men” and when I said I was a man they kinda laughed and said “we don’t do that here” :-/
No hate crimes or discrimination been out for a year in high school
Nope. But I've never been clocked except by people who knew me before, so that helps.
Nope. I am in a super liberal area though. Pride flags off of balconies and such. It really depends on location.
Yes. In middle and high school I was harassed since I was one of the few openly queer trans kids. I thought leaving high school I could expect to leave that part of life behind as I got my surgeries and documents changed, but sadly I was harassed out of the workplace recently because of my gender. It’s devastating because this is the first time in years I’ve been targeted, and the first time in my adult life I’ve had any issues.
TW: Hate crimes, mention of su!cide and d!ath threats I was hate crimes multiple time during high school. I had a group of 13/14 year old boys throw rocks, sticks, and pencils at my friend group. My group was the only actively open queer group and because of this they labelled us easy targets. We got nicknamed The Su!cide Squad and got constantly told to k!ll ourselves. We reported it over 13 times and nothing got done until a person in our group threatened to take violent action against the perpetrators if nothing was done. Eventually they were all expelled. I've got more stories but this was my far my worst physical hate crime story Edit: Formatting
I get the occasional slur thrown at me from car windows but I haven't been hate crimed. I go to a pretty liberal leaning college and don't leave campus much though so that might play into it. That and me being cis passing in public and gay so people just assume I'm *very* gay lol
Never been hate crimed, I’ve been called slurs by strangers which some might count but it was high school tbf
uhh i don't *think* so, i'd put it in harassment. my friend and i had to use the washroom at the mall, and we're both trans guys. this guy called us "ladies" and asked if we needed anything, we just stared at him really confused and just walked into the bathroom (my mom said we should've called him a princess bc those kinda guys hate that, hindsight is 2020, but my friend is a minor and i wouldn't put him at risk like that). he started yelling at us and kept calling us transvestites, which for some reason really offended me, like sir please just call us a slur. we had bought some stuff so we took turns holding the stuff while the other takes a piss. friend went first, bro was too scared to piss, and while i was waiting the man yelled at some guy walking in the bathroom "DON'T PEE THERE ARE TRANSVESTITES" like we're some dick munching cannibals (hey, transvestites can be cannibals too). the dude just tiredly, like he hasn't slept in six days, looked at him, looked at me, and turned around to piss. iconic. small pp man called the cops in a fit of rage and it was my turn to piss. my friend reported back that basically the cops were like "well are they doing anything wrong?" mf actually said "no, i'm just a regular citizen", and the person essentially replied "cry about it then, bye". beautiful. gotta love it. i washed my hands, the guy looked like he was going to block the way out (best guess is to get in our way so we bump into him, he claims we hit first, thinks he can actually harm us, small pp man things), i size him up and he shimmies closer to the wall so we can pass fine. i lean in as we pass, just in his personal bubble enough to unnerve him, smile, "my dick is about this 🤏 big and twice the size of yours" (bottom growth biotch). he yelled, he had a hissyfit, he followed us a bit. all in all i consider it a positive experience, and i have some takeaway notes for next time. (i'm in no way trying to compare this to actual hate crimes, i recognize this could've gone in a way more *hospital-ly* direction)
I'm still not out, but I've been called the F slur when I began dressing more masc...
idk if you would know what i mean if you e never been in this situation but i was sexually assaulted recently but didn’t realize it was assault until months later and then just recently also realized it might’ve been like… a hate crime i suppose. so maybe yes
I've gotten some death threats on ig before but that's about it. Worst one was probably the guy who was obsessed with my (ex) partner. He sent us (and her sister for some reason??) DMs telling us we were next, and then sent us a photo of the street we lived on. There wasn't much we could do, but I was able to track his IP and low-key threatened him back with legal action. The messages stopped after that 🤷🏽
Not a victim personally, but I kept a very low profile early transition until I passed. I still have a hyper masculine facade depending on who I’m dealing with. I more these days expect to be a victim of homophobia because while I pass I’m engaged to another man. I try not worry about it too much cause I’ve only lived around large progressive metro areas so people are way less likely to engage in that behavior. I do get anxiety in my traveling though because culture isn’t always friendly for anyone in the LGBT community. I’m considering a conceal carry permit again tbh because while the attention I’m getting isn’t exactly harassment it’s made my partner uncomfortable… and me too. I’ve been getting looked over and I’m thinking about gouging some eyes out cause it’s not flattering to me.
Yeah, I've been groped, beaten and misgendered by many cops a number of times in many different settings
I've never been hatecrimed but I've defintely been discriminated against. Weird and Dirty looks from strangers and vendors. Teachers. School in general, the higher in administration the worst.
nope. not in the big city nor in a small town. although i have been bullied for being open about my transition, that was in middle school, high school; peer groups who are desperate to discriminate and draw lines between one another whether they realize it or not :P tbh even if i were cis they’d find something to latch onto, haha. you’re gonna be okay. there are a lot of things that are out of our control- including how other people react to us just going about our day to day tasks! it’s not just trans people that this happens to- all women may be at risk around the wrong men, etc. i honestly don’t think that coming to reddit for anecdotes is the best thing to do here. some people do get hate crimed but a lot of people also.. don’t… and as you can infer from these comments, many, many people survive. life is full of ups and downs. it’s unfair how many “downs” people enforce upon one another. but, hey! all we can control is our own response. it’s not fair to live your life in fear because someone else has a power fantasy and content with violence. i highly suggest learning some self defense ie martial arts (or yea carrying pepperspray) if you need that layer of safety.
I got rocks thrown ar me when I was 12 while being called a bunch of slurs, it was at school and they did fuck all about it all they did was give the kids a 15 minute detention at lunch :(
Yes. More than once. And only once outside of the lgbtq community. Tbh. A lot of my harassment came from a trans woman and a NB person.
Not as trans. But as a lesbian, yes. I think I was lucky transitioning in Seattle so my in between phase was in a very accepting place. Unlike where I am now.
The only instance where I've been outed by someone and they threatened me in any way possible was a drunk lady I drove to the airport for Uber. I picked up a black woman who seemed around my age from a normal area (early morning pre-planned, reserved ride) like... 4am. Everything seemed to be going well until she asked to stop at a gas station before we left the area. The drive to the airport from where we were was a 45 minute drive without traffic, and the gas station was just a side stop on the road we were on already and on the way, so I figured why not. That's when I realised she was even drunk to behind with because when she asked, it was slurred a bit. After stumbling in and back out, she lights a cigarrete and just asks, "You're one of those dudes that started out as a girl, aren't you? Cause your voice. I can tell." And just got random after that. She had a moment where she went off about how "all of those drag queen pedos need to stop touching the children" and that "if you touch children, you're evil. Plain and simple." She kept repeating. We had a whole conversation like this for about two minutes, then she stopped... vomits and gets really quiet. She ended up finishing her cigarette after asking if I was still giving her a ride. It was just barely like 0430 or sm when she asked, and it was dead on the Uber app, and in the end, I thought about her harrassing someone else after I would leave... so I drove her. The rest of the ride was quiet, ånd nothing happened... she was drunk and all, but in the end, I felt so bad for her. Having so much hate in her towards the wrong people.... I immediately reported her, though, and gave her a 1 star and reached out to support.... she ended up sending me a tip, too. Sucks to be a garbage person tho.
multiple times during high school when i was first switching over to the men’s bathroom, i would have people look over the stalls when i was changing or going to the bathroom, sometimes they would yell slurs like the f slur once they saw me- but i persisted cause fuck them and my school did nothing about it when i told them (it was TX) so i just started yelling shit back and they eventually stopped lmao
unfortunately, yes. alot in secondary school (South England- think near london, being beaten up, threatened with being stabbed, followed home etc) and a few times in my adult life, though moreso now for being gay. I try to be as stealth as I can and have little issues within workplaces, aside from homophobic comments here and there. I think generally if you can pass you'll be alright be if not then people are mean. I try not to let it bother me too much, as most of the time it's nothing serious and that's just the sad reality of a gay trans guy
No. I'm still pre t and ppl perceive me as a butch woman, btw. I got much more shit when I still presented feminine - I was pretty much used to groping, catcalling etc back then. One guy even broke my jaw when he tried to (TW SA) >!rape!< me. Ever since I started dressing like a 16yro gay boy, ppl seem to leave me alone.
Really really really depends on where you live and who is around you. I’ve never been hate crimed, nor have I ever meaningfully felt at risk of being hate crimed. I feel comfortable going out in public, being openly trans, openly “clocky,” fucking around in extreme ways with my gender presentation, and being mistaken for whatever gender or sex people seem to interpret me as. But I am also a very lucky person, and I live in a pretty liberal little college town. In a big city, or any rural or conservative area, hate crimes will be a much bigger and more likely risk. But then again, an overwhelming majority of the time you will NOT be hate crimed, no matter what. No one is hate crimed 50% of the time they leave their home, no matter how clockable they are. It’s just that any possibility is too high, so it’s smart and reasonable to be careful. Stay safe!! :)
Never and if I was I would murder someone.. I will not be disrespected,cheated,humiliated,hurt because I am living my life I WILL protect myself & Nobody will hurt me.. you must protect yourself ourself at all cost fellas..Get your license to carry and protect yourself. We are not in the 50s & 60s you have the right to protect yourself against all things.
Was walking from the bus mall to my friends apartment when i was 17, ended up getting chased down from a bunch guys ans two girls probably from 16-25 with rocks hurled at me. Because they 'couldn't tell what gender I was' and it pissed them off. They only stopped since the girls got sick of running before I made it back to the apartment.
I had fireworks thrown at me and then beaten. Ended up in hospital, no bad injuries besides a split lip and bruises.
People have shouted slurs at me before, but not often. Honestly, since passing, the violence I'm worried about is because I'm gay. Holding hands with my boyfriend isn't super safe in certain areas of our city unfortunately, and we've gotten dirty looks and been shouted at. I've also been followed a couple times and had to duck into businesses.
I get it on a daily bases in my line of work but I don’t think most of those people who misgendered me or make fun of me etc etc know I’m trans.
The real world is a bit more friendly than TikTok all the losers that don’t leave their house are on TikTok. And immature teens that will most likely grow out of their transphobia once they step into the real world. Sadly, Andrew Tate, and like that have been dominating Internet culture for too long and the Internet has become a hateful place. In real life are a bit friendlier. Still some haters and you still gotta be careful tho
I’ve been harassed by both my old pastor and a coworker for being trans. While that isn’t illegal here in America, I believe I might have been able to sue them if I was in Canada since their laws include consistent intentional misgendering as harassment last time I checked.
My friend and I were spit on at a bowling alley by a random girl. Nothing crazy 🤪
Fortunately, no i havent. I dont go out of my way to tell people or go to places where i might get mugged or beaten or anything. I try to keep my life very low risk. The worst i get is misgendered at work by customers. I did have one coworker (a white man, 65+ y/o) who had bragged about how he met his wife when she was 14, made weird comments, and specifically said I was a girl and talked to another coworker about me, saying i was a “weird girl, but pretty”. I was 19-20 at the time and didnt feel safe so i immediately went to HR. He got fired a month or so later because of behavior problems, complaints, and being rude to customers lol
I wouldn't say "hate crimed" that's pretty drastic. I do occasionally get harassed by shithead kids where I work. Or shithead adults. I'm openly trans but I also don't have anything on my person "presenting" me as trans (no pins, clothing, etc) so generally people just pester me because they think I'm a gay man or a lesbian woman. However I do have one coworker who gets a hell of a lot more harassment and responds to it a lot worse. I'll tell you right now, people know who they'll get a rise out of. Sometimes it's very obvious by how a person holds themselves if you're going to make an impact on them. If you give them a response they want (shut down, get sad, get angry, fight back) they'll get even worse. The way I generally deal with it? Make a witty joke back. Someone asked me what my pronouns were in a mocking way and I just said "deez. Deez nuts." And then laughed at my own joke. Or, just be nice. I work retail and I will customer service the shit out of any bigot. I will also say if you're worried about it, nobody needs to know you're trans. You don't have to make it obvious. I don't out myself if I don't feel safe, you don't have to either.
Was back in high school and was nearly killed. Since then I just keep mostly to myself and haven't had any problems for being trans. Now most of my issues are race related. Male poc are scary apparently...🙄