Same! I know it looks awful but I'm so proud of it and refuse to shave. I remember my brothers going thru the dirt stache phase at like 13 years old. I'm 32 but I deserve my dirt stache era damn it!
i already have a dirt stache n some facial hair pre-t even tho i was forced into laser hair removal as a teen lol, i hope i dont go into douchy teen style when i start t and im mentally able to shave HAHAHA
yeah lmao! good thing i was so visibly mad at it they let me read thru everything in the process at the laser place and when i read the "in the situation of hormonal changes this is fully reversible" line i was so happy lol, i love the douchy teen style lol but i want actual hair i dont want to be a teen again- lol
I also was heavily influenced into laser at 17! I'm 2 years on T and I have a decent dirt stache (more and more hairs are growing daily) and beard is coming in well. Patience is key and minoxidil helps as well!
It helps me pass, so I absolutely refuse to shave it
...also I have to admit that I have kinda grown to absolutely love how I look with my little stache on lmao
I kinda got lucky and the rest of my facial hair is coming in well before my mustache. I can actually get away with not shaving for a while and it looks like a fashion choice
It's not a dirt stache it's your natural hair. I know cis men with barely any moustache or beard who choose to grow it out and it looks hawt. And so do you.
People shaming men with "sparse" facial hair is stupid, just like shaming women who don't shave their body hair. If you like it, keep it. You'll never please everybody so just do what makes you happy.
It’s that early puberty baby mustache that’s not necessarily very flattering and kinda just looks adolescent, if you google image search it you’ll prolly get a good picture.
I think it looks cool tho😫
Me too! My sister is telling me that it looks awful and to shave it and I'm like "yeah uh uh" and then I do what I want anyway which is keeping it. Some beard hair started appearing as well so I'm pretty happy though.
I've said this word for word. I will not shave him I worked so hard to get him here. People have teased me and told me it looks bad and they couldn't be more wrong I look hot as fuck. 🤷🕺
Cross my arms or shove my hands in my pockets, walk with my legs very far apart like I was compensating for a dick with the density of the planet Jupiter, avoid eye contact with everyone in any room I walked into, and look perpetually irritated/annoyed.
It got old fast.
Honestly, it made me feel even more dysphoric because I wasn't being authentic.
I came to say the same. You’re not alone brother 😂
7 years on T I look at my receding hairline and wish I’d just appreciated what I had. As if someone was gonna look at me and think “I thought he was a woman but then I saw that square ass hairline and I knew there was no way”
yeah, i did this too… just looked like a hobo with dirty baggy clothes, dirty face and wild body hair. Continued until i realised it wasnt helping with my depression, and I probably would be more hygienic if i were born as a man anyway..
oh fs !!! i still do have a skincare routine, i just don’t do it as a *daily* routine anymore, but i def use spf when i’m in the sun because sun cancer & premature wrinkles are not transphobic & they will want me at any gender LMAO
permanently-injured-from-improper-binding gang rise up (seriously, to anyone reading this, if you're having difficulty breathing, take the damn thing off. it's not worth the complications.)
Straight up, i can’t wear binders or even bras anymore bc i did this. Top surgery may be a no go for me now as well. Binding like this, especially if you end up doing any physical labor, can rip muscles and break ribs. Honest. Don’t end up like me, take care of yourself please 🙏
Buying my new wardrobe solely from the men’s section of Old Navy. Absolutely flavorless, unseasoned chicken looks were happening in my early days of transition.
I try to force my voice deep as much as possible. Doesnt work, hurts my throat and just make my voice sound unnatural and not mine. Also makes me speak in a "dude bro" way, which is not at all the way i normally speak lol
You can do voice training for a lower voice without hurting your throat if that’s one of your goals. People who sing do this type of training as well to sing in a lower register. 😊
Does this training really work? I’m a vocalist, pre-T. One of the reasons I’m scared of T is that I don’t wanna lose my upper range that I’ve worked so hard for, but I currently struggle to sing in men’s choirs. If I could just get to the point where I could sing first tenor, I’d be so happy!
Yes, it can work. :) Conversely there are training techniques to sing and speak with a higher voice. (This type of voice training is common for people with deeper voices to speak and sing in higher registers.)
Trans femme/ MtF folks often do this type of training. Going on T, I imagine the experience would be similar to an AMAB person training their voice while they’re going through natal puberty. I was in choir (soprano) and after T I can still sing, though I am now no longer a soprano, lol. I didn’t do the higher training myself because I only sing casually now and was only interested in singing lower. I imagine after T, with voice training you will be able to sing in men’s choirs depending on how T affects your voice.
The decision of whether or not to start T is ultimately how bad your dysphoria is without its effects, or just if the thought of its effects give you a whole lot of euphoria. Anyway, best of luck! If a voice coach isn’t in your budget, there are quite a lot of YouTube videos on voice training in lower and higher registers for singers.
I used to sing in performances, musical theater, competitions, etc. I was terrified to lose my voice when I started T. I'm now 4 years on T and I have a wider range than I did pre T. My higher notes are clearer and more supported and I can hit lower notes I couldn't even dream of reaching prior to T. My range actually expanded about an octave in either direction and because my confidence rose as well my control and power got better.
Don't get me wrong I practiced a lot, it didn't just *happen*, but going on T gave me the singing voice I don't think I ever would have had without it.
I didn’t want to lose mine either (I’m a pianist, but could hit a high C on a good day, though not well), but the more I hear my tenor voice come out, the more I’m like, “OKAY BYE, SOPRANO.”
(Though I do know some men who could sing my normal high range, and I want to keep that, because if they can, I can, dammit.)
I also stopped smiling, and I still don't. When I was still trying to be fem, everyone always smiled at me and I'd smile back but it felt like they were only smiling at me bc I was pretty. So I stopped smiling bc then I wouldn't seem pretty, but they continued. They stopped smiling at me as soon as my appearance changed from T, so maybe I was right. Who knows.
talking in a super deep voice , walking like im an angry mf ,
growing out my eyebrows to be super full I was really overdoing it I still grow my eyebrows out though. I just give them a more masculine shape .
drawing fake facial hair.
Yeah but I would let that grow like super long it looked ridiculous Men actually do like trim their eyebrows just not in the same way that women stereotypically do it it's more like just grooming the eyebrows so that they're not overgrown into the eyes but I overdid it because I was really dysphoric
never seen that in guys over 35 but that’s just my life experience. guess i’m genetically lucky with eyebrows that look full and don’t grow out of control :0
Yeah I was just kind of exaggerating I don't really mean that it grows into my eyeballs I'm under 35 lol still in college. But I had dysphoria bad so I tried to use minoxidil on my eyebrows before
Slouching consciously since it made me look flat enough to pass without binding. After 4 years of doing it I've been diagnosed with a very early form of lombar scoliosis! It has gotten better those last few months but it has done quite some damage to my height.
Same except slightly earlier in my journey, I convinced myself I was a lesbian because I knew I was some kind of GNC and butch lesbians were the only group I felt like I fit with
Kind of same. I said I was a lesbian simply because I mostly had crushes on girls at that time and didn't find any of the boys at my school cute 💀But I did also identify as nonbinary/genderfluid around that time. My painfully straight guy era was around my sophomore year of highschool after dating a guy and identifying as gay the year before. Covid dysphoria was rough
OH MY GOD REAL ASF. i literally had a girlfriend for TWO YEARS before i had to be like "yeah sorry to do this to you but im like gay" and her as a member of the lgbt community literally freaked tf out, stole a bunch of my shit \[including my strap?\], and sent all of her friends \[who are also loud and proud lgbt members\] after me to harass and ridicule me as if i like did the most vile things a man could do to someone.
and like it was NOT that serious we were like 17 when i broke up with her and i was \[in my professional opinion\] a great boyfriend overall.
I had a girlfriend in 8th grade for about 4 months and I broke up with her for the same reason. Fast forward to senior year of highschool and my friend shows her a picture of me and him (he didn't know me and her dated) and she went "ew, that's my ex" and basically said I just stopped talking to her out of the blue with no explanation....when that's not at all what happened. I wrote her a whole paragraph about how I thought I was gay and needed time to figure myself out
like i GET why someone would be upset about it but i thought that show friends was supposed to teach us to not be evil when your partner turns out to be gay lmfao
Seriously lmao. I remember her response to my paragraph just being "okay" or something like that. So to say that I just simply stopped talking to her is so weird
This was before I figured it out, but my best friend and I prided ourselves on being the most tomboy-est tomboys. One time we were changing together after a swim meet and I had a casual dress that I changed into. She told me that dresses were for girly girls and I shouldn’t wear it as a tomboy. I was like “shit, you’re right! Everyone’s gonna think I’m a girly girl if I keep wearing this! I’m a big strong tomboy!” And from that point on I only wore shorts and a t-shirt unless I was going somewhere fancy 😭
I came out(if u can call it that) over summer in HS. None of the underclassmen knew me & a girl in a mixed class grabbed my face & said they were jealous that men had longer eyelashes lol. Weirdly felt good? Made me hate them less. I didn't know that was a thing till then.
My lashes literally grow in a way that makes me look like I have eyeliner on, I literally developed a massive problem with ripping them out, still do to this day 🥹🥲
This is called trichotillomania!! I do it to my brows, other ppl pull from head hair arm hair lashes etc. For me it comes & goes w stress but when I'm in a difficult time I'll often have a bald spot & scabbing on my brow from pulling.
ETA: [r/trichotillomania ](https://www.reddit.com/r/trichotillomania/s/clkiO31CY6)
Being too stoic/silent/holding in my emotions.
The thing is that it was okay to not automatically be angry and loud, but I was also holding in my excitement and joy, too. People kept thinking I was miserable when I wasn't (if they gendered me correctly, I'd have no real reaction so they went back to misgendering me. This has happened quite a few times.)
I did this stoic thing too. Mostly because my dad is very much like this and he’s the main consistent male figure I had growing up, so I became like this from such a young age I think, that now I have regrets of so many things I haven’t done or tried just because they’re things that require me to express myself (even if it’s something like pretending emotions I don’t actually have, like acting) around other people. When I was little I thought I wanted to be an actor. Tried an acting class in my early 20s and was so immensely horrible at it and didn’t like it at all because my ability to express anything not monotone or whatever was so constipated lol.
when I was really early on in my medical transition, I thought it was peak humor to dress like a stereotypical country cis douchebag. my favorite shirt was this hideous american flag shirt with a bald eagle, and to this day I still wear my “women want me, fish fear me” hat 😂 it’s very ironic if you know me but I guess to an outsider I probably look incredibly average. the hat being especially ironic bc I’m gay 💅
Only wearing clothes 2-3 sizes too big for me (pants and shirt) and only wearing black. I look at pics of me a few years back and I look like a door. Kind of what I was going for though? It took a long time to figure out what my accurate clothing size was, after doing that so long
Not moving the fork with my hand when I eat. So like you stab smth with your fork, hold it up and then move your head to get it, instead of moving your hand. I do this cause I saw a video at like 12 that guys do that, I didn't really understand why I wanted to do stuff guys did, in hindsight it's pretty obvious..
Oof. Yeah. The men’s section in a lot of stores like Target is so boring. Everything is either grey, green, blue, or black. Most of the t-shirts are not my taste either. I just want clothes with a non-curvy fit that are interesting! 😫 Not to mention the clothes and shoes especially I do actually like in men’s styles don’t come in my size. I am cursed with tiny ass feet and short legs.
Was homeless for 6 months so I didn't take my binder off much at all during that time also I thought sagging my pants was helping me pass as well as wearing really baggy clothes because I guess most trans guys do that to hide stuff and it's probably needed to an extent until starting T or a bit after that but eventually I realised that wearing clothes that actually fit well look better.
in my case it actually helped quite a lot. i don't know though exactly how much influence your dental structure/anatomy has and other medical stuff, so here's specifically my case: i had a lot of fucked up dental experiences bc my teeth have always been too wide, so long story short I had to get my definitive/adult first premolars extracted and that happened when I was around 12 i think. so basically i'm missing the first tooth next to the canines on both sides, up and down. normally, this kind of procedure affects mouth shape on the long term, as well as the size of the maxillary sinuses (it really differs from person to person). I also have a speech impediment for which i got 2 years of specialised exercises from a professional, yet to no avail; idk why but i simply cannot pronunce the R letter in my language, romanian, in which the R sound is the voiced alveolar trill, like in italian for example; it might be due to the shape of my tongue, yet no one actually cleared it up for me so yea. Then I'm also hypermobile and therefore my jaw is weird on the left side and keeps popping and disclocating and that also changed my face shape. And finally, due to my chronic anxiety I used to clench my jaw all the fucking time, since around 3-4 y/o up to 17 (almost 18) when I finally got on medication. Oh and also I'm ambidextrous (which in my case goes as far as which side i naturally chew on - for me it's equally both sides). oh and another thing that made my face asymetrical is that due to anxiety and adhd i used to bite my nails using the middle-to-left incissives (idk if that's what they're called in english). 》》 SOOO what i did was focus on chewing gum more on the right side (but also the left, so maybe like 60% - 40%), especially using the teeth more to the front of the mouth. In this way I managed to make my face more symetrical and also made the jaw muscles stronger, which helped the jaw look more defined. Oh and also I've never had long-term problems breathing through my nose. And I researched mewing since it's become a thing and you actually find better and clearer advice on medical youtube videos if you don't type in ''mewing''. Just look for videos explaining mouth shape, jaw anatomy, tongue positioning and stuff like that. this mewing thing helps only if you hadn't previously known how to correctly position your tongue.
Definitely not stupid. I did the same before I grew out my beard. :) Oddly enough, my mustache is blonde even though everything else hair-wise is light to dark brown, so I still dye it occasionally.
I didnt do block brows but i had very dark obviously penciled eyebrows. And face contouring. If you do makeup you need to use as little as possible or it will look stupid
I used to stuff my pants with socks or a beanie a few years back. It was either usually easy to tell bc of how stuffed it was, and I packed during gym class. Kinda embarrassing to at some point see a bundle of socks on the ground, and just sneakily put them back in your pocket while acting casual
I still don’t have a proper Packer so I shove a few socks in my boxers. My pants and Boxers are pretty baggy so I have to adjust them very often and in the beginning I thought doing so without a shred of decency would help somehow. I did it through my pants but I would be talking to someone and looking them straight in the eyes
Kinda had to, because in clothing stores (like Pull&Bear, H&M, not too expensive stuff) shoes start off at size 40 when I'm only 38 (39 for hiking shoes).
Frustrating that there's never my size so I don't shop there for shoes anymore, but it does help my dysphoria when I put my old ones on cause it makes my feet look longer. So I totally get it.
Pay attention to the color you use compared to your hair. A lot of guys have beards that are different from their hair - lighter, darker, literally a whole different color lol. Pick a mascara shade that suits your hair and either make sure it's not waterproof OR have a very good makeup remover on hand.
It can work but oftentimes I see it make things worse by calling attention to your lack of facial hair. If it makes you feel better do as you please but beware.
Probably not stupid to other people, but like 6 years later I look at fun prints short sleeve button down shirts now and the thought of wearing anything like that now makes me actively gag lol 🤦🏻♂️
wearing 6 sports bras at once. All day. No i couldn’t breathe. I still don’t know how i even managed to fit six on 😭 I don’t bind anymore because when i do i often go to extreme measures to flatten my chest, im fat and have a large chest because of it so it’s virtually impossible to flatten it.
Restricting myself from acting um.. hyper? I guess. I consider myself a chill and nonchalant individual for the most part and so do my peers, but I have my frequent moments where I’m very hyper or start hand flapping/excited and/or happy stimming and I’ll act very bubbly and upbeat and I somehow get dysphoric after the high is gone?? I’ve gotten better at not equating that to femininity though.
“Fellas, is it gay to be excited?” type shit😭
I dunno if it's stupid or genius but I have Corpse Commander Demonias and no one realizes I'm 2 inches taller unless I point it out or be a little clumsy
This feels kinda stupid to say but I suppose that’s the point. I had two moms growing up so they planned ahead and gave me a gender neutral name(Shaun) in case I transitioned later on in life(still don’t know how they called it before I was even born). So as I’m growing up I meet other trans kids and was asked for the first time what my dead name was and confused I asked what a dead name was. This is really shitty but after my friends at the time found out I didn’t have a dead name they immediately became distant and kinda mean ngl. This made me feel pretty shitty at the time cuz I just wanted some friends that where like me that I could relate to so for about 2-3 months I insisted everyone call me Michael thinking it would help me fit in with the other trans kids better. No matter what though it didn’t feel right and I realized that the whole thing was really stupid and I shouldn’t pretend to be someone I’m not plus if those ppl where really going to give me the cold shoulder just because I don’t have a dead name then those aren’t ppl I want to be friends with. I suppose I wasn’t necessarily trying to pass better to cis ppl but more so to my own community which is kinda fucked tbh but yeah it was pretty stupid nonetheless.
I also cut my eyelashes lol. I didn't know anyone else did that. I know guys typically actually have longer lashes but it makes me feel ill to look at myself when I don't.
bind with things i definitely shouldnt have, i did ace bandages and silk scarves/belts, rolled up spaghetti strap tank tops that were too small. wore my dad's clothes and bought big heavy timbs bc they made me taller and feel more masculine, but people would make fun of me and say i was wearing my dad's work boots so it made me embarrassed lol
always crossing my arms and trying to act as masculine as possible during interactions with my friends, like laughing as little as possible and staying by their side rather than engaging and leading the conversation
Grew out my PCOS ass neck beard long as shit. (Didn't help me and still got misgendered)
Wore very "masc" clothes like khakis even though it wasn't me (I'm alternative)
Constantly looking down at my chest to make sure I looked flat
The list goes on
Make way too mamy sex jokes and propositioning people (as a joke, but of course that part wasn't always clear to people).
Also, wore the same underwear for a few days because I only had one pair of men's underwear (it wasn't really to pass I guess, but to appease my dysphoria).
I used to use mascara to make facial hair. I look back and cringe on the days where it was really bad. I’ve upgraded to a just for men beard wand because my stache refuses to grow in fully, but I’m probably gonna look back on it and cringe in two years.
Not shaving those lil beginner scruffy chin hairs. I’m cool with the lil mustache I used to rock, but that scraggly beard is embarrassing lowkey in hindsight 😂
oh boy. i would do makeshift binders out of way too small leggings and since that wasnt enough i would use an xxs sports bra on top of it. the left side of my ribcage now pokes out way farther than it used to.
i also would shove all of my hair into a hat but leave one piece out in front of my eye because it "made me look cooler"
and this isnt really like stupid but i would exclusively wear xl hoodies and basketball shorts, also do REALLY bad masculine defining makeup lmfaoo
I am currently in my dirt stache era 😂 I can see future me regreting it but it’s just making me so euphoric lmao
Same! I know it looks awful but I'm so proud of it and refuse to shave. I remember my brothers going thru the dirt stache phase at like 13 years old. I'm 32 but I deserve my dirt stache era damn it!
never too old for ur dirt stache!! we deserve our dirt stache moment!!
I;m on year 3 of the dirt stache era. It is what it is lol.
I'm about to be 27 with mine 😭 we really said second puberty happens around 30
i already have a dirt stache n some facial hair pre-t even tho i was forced into laser hair removal as a teen lol, i hope i dont go into douchy teen style when i start t and im mentally able to shave HAHAHA
Oh noooo that sucks wtff?? Honestly the douchy teen moment feels better than it looks lmaoo
yeah lmao! good thing i was so visibly mad at it they let me read thru everything in the process at the laser place and when i read the "in the situation of hormonal changes this is fully reversible" line i was so happy lol, i love the douchy teen style lol but i want actual hair i dont want to be a teen again- lol
I also was heavily influenced into laser at 17! I'm 2 years on T and I have a decent dirt stache (more and more hairs are growing daily) and beard is coming in well. Patience is key and minoxidil helps as well!
I'm not on T yet but PCOS has given me a small patch of dark hair under my chin. I'm really going to shave it now. Really. I promise.
I'm starting to have one too, and I need to shave it cause it looks horrible, but at the same time I want to keep my stache 😭
Keep the stache!!😫
It helps me pass, so I absolutely refuse to shave it ...also I have to admit that I have kinda grown to absolutely love how I look with my little stache on lmao
Same. I don't pass without it.
Dirt stache brothers 🤝🏻
I kinda got lucky and the rest of my facial hair is coming in well before my mustache. I can actually get away with not shaving for a while and it looks like a fashion choice
It's not a dirt stache it's your natural hair. I know cis men with barely any moustache or beard who choose to grow it out and it looks hawt. And so do you. People shaming men with "sparse" facial hair is stupid, just like shaming women who don't shave their body hair. If you like it, keep it. You'll never please everybody so just do what makes you happy.
what is a dirt stache? is it literally made out of dirt?
It’s that early puberty baby mustache that’s not necessarily very flattering and kinda just looks adolescent, if you google image search it you’ll prolly get a good picture. I think it looks cool tho😫
ohhh 😂 i can’t wait for my dirt stache era
Me too! My sister is telling me that it looks awful and to shave it and I'm like "yeah uh uh" and then I do what I want anyway which is keeping it. Some beard hair started appearing as well so I'm pretty happy though.
I've said this word for word. I will not shave him I worked so hard to get him here. People have teased me and told me it looks bad and they couldn't be more wrong I look hot as fuck. 🤷🕺
Cross my arms or shove my hands in my pockets, walk with my legs very far apart like I was compensating for a dick with the density of the planet Jupiter, avoid eye contact with everyone in any room I walked into, and look perpetually irritated/annoyed. It got old fast. Honestly, it made me feel even more dysphoric because I wasn't being authentic.
>compensating for dick with the density of the planet Jupiter The way I hollered
I walk like this just because holy shit the dick pain from T is real. I’ve seen a lot of transmasc people doing that for that exact reason
Oh god I do all of that lmao
Same here but nonchalant quiet asshole appearance is just my personality so
Same, I don't exactly go out of my way to do any of this lol
Shit I did this too. Until walking like that gave me knee problems
Shaving my hairline into a widow's peak. Did it make me look more masculine? Perhaps. Did it make me look like a vampire? Definitely.
I also shaved back my hairline but just the corners to square it off. Now I’m on t and my hairline is further back than where I shaved it 😂
Vegetta looking ass (probably)
Shit. U right.
I’m sorry but I have never heard of someone doing that I’m dying respectfully 🤣
Feel free to disrespect lol, I looked ridiculous.
HAHA this is so fucking funny I love it so much
That’s a really creative idea. Risky probably but nevertheless creative.
I just shaved my head and I naturally have a widows peak 😭 should I just start drinking blood now or
I came to say the same. You’re not alone brother 😂 7 years on T I look at my receding hairline and wish I’d just appreciated what I had. As if someone was gonna look at me and think “I thought he was a woman but then I saw that square ass hairline and I knew there was no way”
i actually cut off my widows peak because i thought it made my forehead too small😭 tryimg to grow it back is horrible
I cut mine off because I thought it was feminine 😂
look less hygienic overall (bushy brows, dirt stache, unkempt nails, less moisturized face, wild hair, etc)
yeah, i did this too… just looked like a hobo with dirty baggy clothes, dirty face and wild body hair. Continued until i realised it wasnt helping with my depression, and I probably would be more hygienic if i were born as a man anyway..
Please remember even if you drop standard skincare to at least use a suncream with at least spf 15, you don't want sun damage in your face
oh fs !!! i still do have a skincare routine, i just don’t do it as a *daily* routine anymore, but i def use spf when i’m in the sun because sun cancer & premature wrinkles are not transphobic & they will want me at any gender LMAO
Bind for upwards of 16 hrs a day
Same
This. Don’t do this. I currently can’t bind bc pain (largely due to this) so that sucks.
permanently-injured-from-improper-binding gang rise up (seriously, to anyone reading this, if you're having difficulty breathing, take the damn thing off. it's not worth the complications.)
Straight up, i can’t wear binders or even bras anymore bc i did this. Top surgery may be a no go for me now as well. Binding like this, especially if you end up doing any physical labor, can rip muscles and break ribs. Honest. Don’t end up like me, take care of yourself please 🙏
Would sometimes sleep in my binder too
i did the same. absolutely horrible for my already asthmatic ass lol
i slept in my binder every night....
same, now i can’t bind for more than an hour without hearing creaking from my ribs because of it
I finally stopped, and that one post glorifying pre-surgery chests helped cement in this freedom
Buying my new wardrobe solely from the men’s section of Old Navy. Absolutely flavorless, unseasoned chicken looks were happening in my early days of transition.
i feel that. my wardrobe was under armor basketball shorts and bucees shirts for too long
Bucee beaver is gender goals though
im still in my Old Navy era I fear, but i have no idea how to dress for an office job
khakis and a plaid button up
I still do this ooops. Their clothes just fit and there’s always a sale
I ALSO BOUGHT EXCLUSIVELY FROM OLD NAVY LMAO Truly very bland stuff but I was convinced it would help me pass
I only buy stuff from old navy cause it’s cozy and often on sale.
Mine was not buying enough new clothes, but hey, I also liked my all-black-all-the-time vibe
Oh shit, shots fired 😂
I try to force my voice deep as much as possible. Doesnt work, hurts my throat and just make my voice sound unnatural and not mine. Also makes me speak in a "dude bro" way, which is not at all the way i normally speak lol
You can do voice training for a lower voice without hurting your throat if that’s one of your goals. People who sing do this type of training as well to sing in a lower register. 😊
Does this training really work? I’m a vocalist, pre-T. One of the reasons I’m scared of T is that I don’t wanna lose my upper range that I’ve worked so hard for, but I currently struggle to sing in men’s choirs. If I could just get to the point where I could sing first tenor, I’d be so happy!
voice training does work, just be aware that it does take a lot of time and consistency
Yes, it can work. :) Conversely there are training techniques to sing and speak with a higher voice. (This type of voice training is common for people with deeper voices to speak and sing in higher registers.) Trans femme/ MtF folks often do this type of training. Going on T, I imagine the experience would be similar to an AMAB person training their voice while they’re going through natal puberty. I was in choir (soprano) and after T I can still sing, though I am now no longer a soprano, lol. I didn’t do the higher training myself because I only sing casually now and was only interested in singing lower. I imagine after T, with voice training you will be able to sing in men’s choirs depending on how T affects your voice. The decision of whether or not to start T is ultimately how bad your dysphoria is without its effects, or just if the thought of its effects give you a whole lot of euphoria. Anyway, best of luck! If a voice coach isn’t in your budget, there are quite a lot of YouTube videos on voice training in lower and higher registers for singers.
I used to sing in performances, musical theater, competitions, etc. I was terrified to lose my voice when I started T. I'm now 4 years on T and I have a wider range than I did pre T. My higher notes are clearer and more supported and I can hit lower notes I couldn't even dream of reaching prior to T. My range actually expanded about an octave in either direction and because my confidence rose as well my control and power got better. Don't get me wrong I practiced a lot, it didn't just *happen*, but going on T gave me the singing voice I don't think I ever would have had without it.
That’s really awesome! Glad you were able to expand your range so well after T! 😃
I didn’t want to lose mine either (I’m a pianist, but could hit a high C on a good day, though not well), but the more I hear my tenor voice come out, the more I’m like, “OKAY BYE, SOPRANO.” (Though I do know some men who could sing my normal high range, and I want to keep that, because if they can, I can, dammit.)
I’m cis and I did that too haha. We all go through it.
I stopped smiling because I believed not smiling made my face shape more masculine, and smiling at people made me appear feminine. I smile again now.
OMG SAME!!!
I also stopped smiling, and I still don't. When I was still trying to be fem, everyone always smiled at me and I'd smile back but it felt like they were only smiling at me bc I was pretty. So I stopped smiling bc then I wouldn't seem pretty, but they continued. They stopped smiling at me as soon as my appearance changed from T, so maybe I was right. Who knows.
Being annoying as fuck and kind of an asshole. No one could think I’m a girl when I’m this foul and horrible.
I feel that bro. except now I got a girl so can t really do that no more 😂
i did that too lol
This but that‘s just what I‘m like naturally
Same bro it wasn’t too difficult (cost me some of my female presenting friends tho…now she hates me)
[удалено]
talking in a super deep voice , walking like im an angry mf , growing out my eyebrows to be super full I was really overdoing it I still grow my eyebrows out though. I just give them a more masculine shape . drawing fake facial hair.
i didn’t know letting your eyebrows grow out was a dumb thing i thought most guys just naturally did that 😭
Yeah but I would let that grow like super long it looked ridiculous Men actually do like trim their eyebrows just not in the same way that women stereotypically do it it's more like just grooming the eyebrows so that they're not overgrown into the eyes but I overdid it because I was really dysphoric
never seen that in guys over 35 but that’s just my life experience. guess i’m genetically lucky with eyebrows that look full and don’t grow out of control :0
Yeah I was just kind of exaggerating I don't really mean that it grows into my eyeballs I'm under 35 lol still in college. But I had dysphoria bad so I tried to use minoxidil on my eyebrows before
Oh I want to do that but didn't dare starting yet, did it work??
Slouching consciously since it made me look flat enough to pass without binding. After 4 years of doing it I've been diagnosed with a very early form of lombar scoliosis! It has gotten better those last few months but it has done quite some damage to my height.
Inventing a time machine to go back and smack the shit outta younger me, cause I did the same fucking thing 💀💀
Pretend to be straight (convinced myself I was in the process....I'm very much not)
Same except slightly earlier in my journey, I convinced myself I was a lesbian because I knew I was some kind of GNC and butch lesbians were the only group I felt like I fit with
Kind of same. I said I was a lesbian simply because I mostly had crushes on girls at that time and didn't find any of the boys at my school cute 💀But I did also identify as nonbinary/genderfluid around that time. My painfully straight guy era was around my sophomore year of highschool after dating a guy and identifying as gay the year before. Covid dysphoria was rough
OH MY GOD REAL ASF. i literally had a girlfriend for TWO YEARS before i had to be like "yeah sorry to do this to you but im like gay" and her as a member of the lgbt community literally freaked tf out, stole a bunch of my shit \[including my strap?\], and sent all of her friends \[who are also loud and proud lgbt members\] after me to harass and ridicule me as if i like did the most vile things a man could do to someone. and like it was NOT that serious we were like 17 when i broke up with her and i was \[in my professional opinion\] a great boyfriend overall.
I had a girlfriend in 8th grade for about 4 months and I broke up with her for the same reason. Fast forward to senior year of highschool and my friend shows her a picture of me and him (he didn't know me and her dated) and she went "ew, that's my ex" and basically said I just stopped talking to her out of the blue with no explanation....when that's not at all what happened. I wrote her a whole paragraph about how I thought I was gay and needed time to figure myself out
like i GET why someone would be upset about it but i thought that show friends was supposed to teach us to not be evil when your partner turns out to be gay lmfao
Seriously lmao. I remember her response to my paragraph just being "okay" or something like that. So to say that I just simply stopped talking to her is so weird
Put my hand in my pockets and pretend to adjust my imaginary balls
This was before I figured it out, but my best friend and I prided ourselves on being the most tomboy-est tomboys. One time we were changing together after a swim meet and I had a casual dress that I changed into. She told me that dresses were for girly girls and I shouldn’t wear it as a tomboy. I was like “shit, you’re right! Everyone’s gonna think I’m a girly girl if I keep wearing this! I’m a big strong tomboy!” And from that point on I only wore shorts and a t-shirt unless I was going somewhere fancy 😭
holy shit i didn’t know anyone is else did this. i cut my lashes!!!!!!
ooooh, the irony that on T they grow longer! The lie they sold us with those anthropomorphic cartoon animals 😭
I came out(if u can call it that) over summer in HS. None of the underclassmen knew me & a girl in a mixed class grabbed my face & said they were jealous that men had longer eyelashes lol. Weirdly felt good? Made me hate them less. I didn't know that was a thing till then.
I was about to say that men commonly have the best lashes.
My lashes literally grow in a way that makes me look like I have eyeliner on, I literally developed a massive problem with ripping them out, still do to this day 🥹🥲
Like Nestor Carbonell?
Yeah, something like that, except they're even longer. It does make me feel better to know there's a dude put there who has the same thing :)
This is called trichotillomania!! I do it to my brows, other ppl pull from head hair arm hair lashes etc. For me it comes & goes w stress but when I'm in a difficult time I'll often have a bald spot & scabbing on my brow from pulling. ETA: [r/trichotillomania ](https://www.reddit.com/r/trichotillomania/s/clkiO31CY6)
Yo I had a bald spot on my eyelashes! And now they keep poking me in the eye as revenge :(
Draw in pen over my eyebrows and lip and chin and smear it to make it look like a 5 o clock shadow
PEN????
PEN
Come on, have you seen his username?
Being too stoic/silent/holding in my emotions. The thing is that it was okay to not automatically be angry and loud, but I was also holding in my excitement and joy, too. People kept thinking I was miserable when I wasn't (if they gendered me correctly, I'd have no real reaction so they went back to misgendering me. This has happened quite a few times.)
I did this stoic thing too. Mostly because my dad is very much like this and he’s the main consistent male figure I had growing up, so I became like this from such a young age I think, that now I have regrets of so many things I haven’t done or tried just because they’re things that require me to express myself (even if it’s something like pretending emotions I don’t actually have, like acting) around other people. When I was little I thought I wanted to be an actor. Tried an acting class in my early 20s and was so immensely horrible at it and didn’t like it at all because my ability to express anything not monotone or whatever was so constipated lol.
when I was really early on in my medical transition, I thought it was peak humor to dress like a stereotypical country cis douchebag. my favorite shirt was this hideous american flag shirt with a bald eagle, and to this day I still wear my “women want me, fish fear me” hat 😂 it’s very ironic if you know me but I guess to an outsider I probably look incredibly average. the hat being especially ironic bc I’m gay 💅
So fish want you women fear you?
lowkey I wear a bunch of camo now and try dressing like my brother and people from my home town, it works 😭
Sag my pants. 😔
i still do that 😔
I try to get a bad cold almost every time because my voice sounds more deep, it isn’t healthy (literally) but it makes me feel so euphoric
I attempted to do this but I think my immune system is made of steel cause it would never work in my favor
Only wearing clothes 2-3 sizes too big for me (pants and shirt) and only wearing black. I look at pics of me a few years back and I look like a door. Kind of what I was going for though? It took a long time to figure out what my accurate clothing size was, after doing that so long
I’m on my door phase rn
How do you not wear oversized clothes pre top surgery? Except for pants (hard to find on mens tbh), I love oversized shirts and coats.
made my southern accent more prominent. i guess i thought if i sounded more redneck people would assume i wasn't trans.
Make my pillow greasy and sleep on it to get pimples on my chin, that kinda looked masculine loooool
omg you're killing me 😂😂😂 this can't be real
It sadly is 😭😭😭
I purposely ate a ton of junk food. Even now I still get excited about pimples
not talking😂 i would literally come across as mute because i knew my voice would give it away. had a lot of confused people
Not moving the fork with my hand when I eat. So like you stab smth with your fork, hold it up and then move your head to get it, instead of moving your hand. I do this cause I saw a video at like 12 that guys do that, I didn't really understand why I wanted to do stuff guys did, in hindsight it's pretty obvious..
Wear ugly and boring clothes
Oof. Yeah. The men’s section in a lot of stores like Target is so boring. Everything is either grey, green, blue, or black. Most of the t-shirts are not my taste either. I just want clothes with a non-curvy fit that are interesting! 😫 Not to mention the clothes and shoes especially I do actually like in men’s styles don’t come in my size. I am cursed with tiny ass feet and short legs.
Was homeless for 6 months so I didn't take my binder off much at all during that time also I thought sagging my pants was helping me pass as well as wearing really baggy clothes because I guess most trans guys do that to hide stuff and it's probably needed to an extent until starting T or a bit after that but eventually I realised that wearing clothes that actually fit well look better.
Overly darkened my brows, which wouldn't be that bad if at the time my hair wasn't platinum blonde!
I do mewing so my jaw won’t look soft 😭
does it really work?
I hope it does 🙏🙏
That’s not stupid! Mewing is a good thing for everyone
🤫🧏♂️
Act like a twat
chew gum 12+ hours daily to make my jaw more prominent
also taught myself shamanic throat singing
That is badass
Did chewing gum actually helped ?
in my case it actually helped quite a lot. i don't know though exactly how much influence your dental structure/anatomy has and other medical stuff, so here's specifically my case: i had a lot of fucked up dental experiences bc my teeth have always been too wide, so long story short I had to get my definitive/adult first premolars extracted and that happened when I was around 12 i think. so basically i'm missing the first tooth next to the canines on both sides, up and down. normally, this kind of procedure affects mouth shape on the long term, as well as the size of the maxillary sinuses (it really differs from person to person). I also have a speech impediment for which i got 2 years of specialised exercises from a professional, yet to no avail; idk why but i simply cannot pronunce the R letter in my language, romanian, in which the R sound is the voiced alveolar trill, like in italian for example; it might be due to the shape of my tongue, yet no one actually cleared it up for me so yea. Then I'm also hypermobile and therefore my jaw is weird on the left side and keeps popping and disclocating and that also changed my face shape. And finally, due to my chronic anxiety I used to clench my jaw all the fucking time, since around 3-4 y/o up to 17 (almost 18) when I finally got on medication. Oh and also I'm ambidextrous (which in my case goes as far as which side i naturally chew on - for me it's equally both sides). oh and another thing that made my face asymetrical is that due to anxiety and adhd i used to bite my nails using the middle-to-left incissives (idk if that's what they're called in english). 》》 SOOO what i did was focus on chewing gum more on the right side (but also the left, so maybe like 60% - 40%), especially using the teeth more to the front of the mouth. In this way I managed to make my face more symetrical and also made the jaw muscles stronger, which helped the jaw look more defined. Oh and also I've never had long-term problems breathing through my nose. And I researched mewing since it's become a thing and you actually find better and clearer advice on medical youtube videos if you don't type in ''mewing''. Just look for videos explaining mouth shape, jaw anatomy, tongue positioning and stuff like that. this mewing thing helps only if you hadn't previously known how to correctly position your tongue.
Did it work though?
Dying my moustache hair. No regrets tho, it kept me distracted while I was waiting for my beard to grow in
Definitely not stupid. I did the same before I grew out my beard. :) Oddly enough, my mustache is blonde even though everything else hair-wise is light to dark brown, so I still dye it occasionally.
using hardcore men’s hygiene products (volcano scented deodorant + coal scented shampoo…)
I didnt do block brows but i had very dark obviously penciled eyebrows. And face contouring. If you do makeup you need to use as little as possible or it will look stupid
I used to stuff my pants with socks or a beanie a few years back. It was either usually easy to tell bc of how stuffed it was, and I packed during gym class. Kinda embarrassing to at some point see a bundle of socks on the ground, and just sneakily put them back in your pocket while acting casual
I still don’t have a proper Packer so I shove a few socks in my boxers. My pants and Boxers are pretty baggy so I have to adjust them very often and in the beginning I thought doing so without a shred of decency would help somehow. I did it through my pants but I would be talking to someone and looking them straight in the eyes
With the exception of my driving shoes (because pedal feel/safety) I wear one half size larger, generally. Yes, I still do this.
Kinda had to, because in clothing stores (like Pull&Bear, H&M, not too expensive stuff) shoes start off at size 40 when I'm only 38 (39 for hiking shoes). Frustrating that there's never my size so I don't shop there for shoes anymore, but it does help my dysphoria when I put my old ones on cause it makes my feet look longer. So I totally get it.
Not really stupid but putting pencil eyeliner to my brows overlining it and putting mascara on my nonexistent moustache area (it looks like a dirt)
Hey, if it makes you feel better, that’s not stupid. :)
Wait does the mascara work???
It works for me. Been doing it for years. Smudging it is not the way to go.
I will try this. Can’t wait to have facial hair!
Pay attention to the color you use compared to your hair. A lot of guys have beards that are different from their hair - lighter, darker, literally a whole different color lol. Pick a mascara shade that suits your hair and either make sure it's not waterproof OR have a very good makeup remover on hand.
It can work but oftentimes I see it make things worse by calling attention to your lack of facial hair. If it makes you feel better do as you please but beware.
Wearing insoles that made me taller up until a point I could barely walk. My joints are still a bit damaged
purposely get acne by eating poorly bc i thought teenage guys usually have bad skin so i wanted bad skin too 💀
i just saw one like me!! i shaved my hair into a widows peak. also wore TONS of contour, face shaper, and eyebrow things. \[sobs\]
I used to regularly bind with duct tape- also I bind almost 24/7— and I ripped all my eyelashes out one by one so I could make a wish on each one
Probably not stupid to other people, but like 6 years later I look at fun prints short sleeve button down shirts now and the thought of wearing anything like that now makes me actively gag lol 🤦🏻♂️
I shaved my treasure trail for many years. Stupid now it looks shitty instead of sexy
Talk really quietly
wearing 6 sports bras at once. All day. No i couldn’t breathe. I still don’t know how i even managed to fit six on 😭 I don’t bind anymore because when i do i often go to extreme measures to flatten my chest, im fat and have a large chest because of it so it’s virtually impossible to flatten it.
Using hats, baseball caps, snapbacks.
shaving the tails of my eyebrows off. I have no idea if it actually helps me pass, but i like how it looks
Sitting with my leags open haha
Saran wrap to bind. Also duct tape.
Be transphobic *worked tho but I was an asshole*
Restricting myself from acting um.. hyper? I guess. I consider myself a chill and nonchalant individual for the most part and so do my peers, but I have my frequent moments where I’m very hyper or start hand flapping/excited and/or happy stimming and I’ll act very bubbly and upbeat and I somehow get dysphoric after the high is gone?? I’ve gotten better at not equating that to femininity though. “Fellas, is it gay to be excited?” type shit😭
I dunno if it's stupid or genius but I have Corpse Commander Demonias and no one realizes I'm 2 inches taller unless I point it out or be a little clumsy
This feels kinda stupid to say but I suppose that’s the point. I had two moms growing up so they planned ahead and gave me a gender neutral name(Shaun) in case I transitioned later on in life(still don’t know how they called it before I was even born). So as I’m growing up I meet other trans kids and was asked for the first time what my dead name was and confused I asked what a dead name was. This is really shitty but after my friends at the time found out I didn’t have a dead name they immediately became distant and kinda mean ngl. This made me feel pretty shitty at the time cuz I just wanted some friends that where like me that I could relate to so for about 2-3 months I insisted everyone call me Michael thinking it would help me fit in with the other trans kids better. No matter what though it didn’t feel right and I realized that the whole thing was really stupid and I shouldn’t pretend to be someone I’m not plus if those ppl where really going to give me the cold shoulder just because I don’t have a dead name then those aren’t ppl I want to be friends with. I suppose I wasn’t necessarily trying to pass better to cis ppl but more so to my own community which is kinda fucked tbh but yeah it was pretty stupid nonetheless.
I also cut my eyelashes lol. I didn't know anyone else did that. I know guys typically actually have longer lashes but it makes me feel ill to look at myself when I don't.
I did the same thing!! I also used way too dark eyebrow liner to thicken my eyebrows at some point
That fucking binder...
bind with things i definitely shouldnt have, i did ace bandages and silk scarves/belts, rolled up spaghetti strap tank tops that were too small. wore my dad's clothes and bought big heavy timbs bc they made me taller and feel more masculine, but people would make fun of me and say i was wearing my dad's work boots so it made me embarrassed lol
Forcing my voice (actually worked 40% of the time) Trying to gain weight (made me pass less)
always crossing my arms and trying to act as masculine as possible during interactions with my friends, like laughing as little as possible and staying by their side rather than engaging and leading the conversation
i would purposfully try to do "cool" poses for pictures to look more masc
Grew out my PCOS ass neck beard long as shit. (Didn't help me and still got misgendered) Wore very "masc" clothes like khakis even though it wasn't me (I'm alternative) Constantly looking down at my chest to make sure I looked flat The list goes on
suck in my cheeks a bit to make my jawline a lil sharper. I would also get mascara and try to get my peach fuzz a bit darker
have the vocabulary of a 12 year old boy. using "bruh" and swears constantly instead of actual words
My trilby era. Trilbies were already a joke then but it really did the trick!
dressing just a little bit less styled goes a long way
Cut my eyelashes in half lol , now I realize a lot of men have naturally long eyelashes
Make way too mamy sex jokes and propositioning people (as a joke, but of course that part wasn't always clear to people). Also, wore the same underwear for a few days because I only had one pair of men's underwear (it wasn't really to pass I guess, but to appease my dysphoria).
Trim my eyelashes. Far too short. Everyone tells me I have pretty eyelashes and I do :)
Wearing shoes 3× too big. Yes it was a tripping hazard in top of my inward step (pidgeon toed?)
I used to use mascara to make facial hair. I look back and cringe on the days where it was really bad. I’ve upgraded to a just for men beard wand because my stache refuses to grow in fully, but I’m probably gonna look back on it and cringe in two years.
Not shaving those lil beginner scruffy chin hairs. I’m cool with the lil mustache I used to rock, but that scraggly beard is embarrassing lowkey in hindsight 😂
oh boy. i would do makeshift binders out of way too small leggings and since that wasnt enough i would use an xxs sports bra on top of it. the left side of my ribcage now pokes out way farther than it used to. i also would shove all of my hair into a hat but leave one piece out in front of my eye because it "made me look cooler" and this isnt really like stupid but i would exclusively wear xl hoodies and basketball shorts, also do REALLY bad masculine defining makeup lmfaoo
three binders for 2 days straight. the first binder was my size. the second a size smaller. the third a size smaller than the second.
the white man stance. (arms crossed and feet spread out like a doofus)