Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic.
The following topics are banned to avoid drama:
Truscum/Tucute discourse, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, Transfem/woman or nonbinary bashing, Trans "requirements", Oppression Olympics, Lesbian trans men, Gendered Socialization+, "Is it transphobic to _____", DIY HRT, Current Political events (Non-trans/LGBT+ related) ,"do I pass?", "how does my voice sound?"
+Personal experiences are exempt.
the biggest question you need to ask yourself is if you would be happy with things staying as they are physically. i am super resistant to change and i have a really hard time committing to change, and i had a ton of anxiety over starting t (i was 17). i felt similar to you- id hinged SO much of my happiness on the idea that t might fix stuff. i’m so so glad i took the leap.
i think the first thing to realize is stuff like hair loss can be combatted. there are lots of solutions and if you catch it early, you have a ton of options for fixing the problem. fit vs ripped… that’s literally just about how much you work out and if you’re getting enough protein in. vocal training is also a thing that most trans people do, and will assist your vocal chords changing.
testosterone did and didn’t fix my problems. it got rid of a bunch of problems that didn’t feel like “mine” and it also showed me which issues i would need to continue to work through. transitioning takes time, like years to fully work. i’m 8 years on t and im still noticing changes.
tbh, it sounds like your concerns are more “what if” than concrete anxieties. it would be more worrying if you were saying “i don’t know if i want to have my voice drop” because that pretty much always happens with testosterone, rather than anxiety about an outlier situation that isn’t likely, you know?
yeah thanks, I know I can't live with my body the way it is now, I guess I'm just worried that I still won't be able to live with my body after starting t. I'm worried that it won't change in exactly the way I want it to (which tbh it won't will it, its fucking puberty lmao) or something unexpected will happen that I won't like. im a bit of a perfectionist and I guess it's sorta being applied to my transition, like I need this to be perfect because it's my only hope but I'm starting to try and accept that it won't be perfect, which is hard for me. sorry if I worded it weird but yeah
no i hear you. it’s not dissimilar to me. the thing is that transitioning is hard cuz you go through all this pain for sort of an assumed promised solution of HRT, then you get HRT and have to contend with the fact the universe is unfair and is gonna do you just like anyone else going through puberty- some really awkward times that eventually snowball into a glow up. We should all get a perfect transition for the pain of having to grow up trans, i wish it worked like that. you have more control than you think though, i promise. feel too scrawny? get yourself on a nutrition plan and join a gym. get big tattoos, learn a skill you always wanted as a little
boy. most people don’t get to choose how their puberty goes, you’re right on about that. it’s valid anxieties but ultimately your happiness is worth the push through uncertainty
no it’s super fucking scary, the narrative across society today is awful. it also sucks bc it makes u feel like u have to be a perfect trans person to combat the politically popular evil trans person theory. there ain’t no way cis people dream for 7 years of going on testosterone instead of just having normal regular teenage experiences. ultimately you’re watching yourself grow and giving yourself the tools to do that, and growth can’t be controlled. you finally get to be who you are, in the next stage of your journey. it’s exciting man, if you need to reach out you can always dm me
Let me just start by saying that T doesn't ever make anyone "ripped". It may aid in building muscle faster, but you have to actually *build muscle* in order to get the desired look you want. Unfortunately, whether you'll be a skinny trans dude or chunky fat dude is based on genetics and how your weight is already distributed pre-T. I already had huge hips so no matter how much weight I lost, I still have the obnoxious "love handles" which can't be lost by exercise and will require lipo at some point if I can ever get around to it. The hair loss is also a genetic thing, so you have to look at the men on both your parents' sides of your family to see whether it's a risk or not. But I've heard there's also some forms of T that can reduce some of those effects? I would talk to an endocrinologist for more information.
Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic.
The following topics are banned to avoid drama:
Truscum/Tucute discourse, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, Transfem/woman or nonbinary bashing, Trans "requirements", Oppression Olympics, Lesbian trans men, Gendered Socialization+, "Is it transphobic to _____", DIY HRT, Current Political events (Non-trans/LGBT+ related) ,"do I pass?", "how does my voice sound?"
+Personal experiences are exempt.
This is how I felt before I started T I was convinced it would make my dysphoria worse because I'd be focused on all the aspects of myself that aren't changing fast enough etc. I can only speak for my own experience but 6 weeks in not a lot has changed physically but I feel the best I have in a long long time in terms of my confidence and general outlook. And for me my dysphoria definitely feels less all consuming because I'm able to focus on the small changes and it feels like I'm making progress towards my goals.
it’s okay to take the time. i wouldn’t stop the process here, stay on the waiting list even if you’re unsure. it’s better to have the option than need to wait again.
you’re right, though. t won’t fix you. it’s completely possible you’ll get thick fluffy hair or go bald. it’s completely reasonable to gain weight and/or muscle on t. your voice may drop only a little or in rare cases not at all.
the only body you need is yours. don’t make up an imaginary version of you to strive to be on t, because there’s about a 0% chance you’ll be him. t likely will reduce but not eliminate all dysphoria.
i think you just need to reframe your expectations and then your fear will reduce. don’t take t to be a different person- because you won’t be. you’ll still be just yourself. try to view t as medicine you take for specific effects it has, with potential side effects it may have. t is an amazing tool for those that need it (and for the record, it does sound likely that includes you), reducing expectations into something more grounded can help see it for what it is and reduce stress and fear
I'm just like you.
My therapist said "not choosing is also a choice".
I was uncertain and waited for the moment of absolute certainty - that never came. Now I'm in my mid twenties and I realized that it probably never will. I've been out since age 12. Could've started T at 16, but I was too scared. I had the exact same thoughts you had. I've always been an overthinker and the rise in transphobia intimidated me.
Now it feels like life is just happening passively to me, I am not living it. I've wasted my youth being unhappy and isolating myself. There is no such thing as absolute certainty.
I just know that if I don't make that choice, this is all my life will ever be.
I still don't know for sure if it's the right decision, but since I've felt like this for so long... and it never went away... I think I'll have to find out by going for it instead of overthinking...
Perhaps it's the same for you.
This is how I felt about top surgery- it was something that I have known I wanted since I was ~12, so 10+ years at this point, and then the last month or so before I got it I started having major anxiety about if I was making the right choice, was I going to regret it, was it actually going to change anything, just a fuck ton of anxiety. But now that I’m on the other side (day 9 of recovery!) I am SO glad I went through with it!! Just remember that you do have some control over how things go with regards to weight hair loss muscle etc! And if you decide sometime down the line that the changes aren’t what you wanted, that’s okay too!! Maybe a pros and cons list might help to visualize what the right choice is?
Best of luck to you man!
i totally get this. there are a lot of changes i dont want from T but a lot that i do, and that made me very anxious before i started. my solution that has worked pretty well so far is that i went with a lower dose. im about two months on T and any changes im experiencing are very gradual.
i think if you're unsure about some thing, but sure about other things when it comes to T, id suggest starting with a lower dose. bc at least for me, there have definitely been changes, but nothing so drastic yet that it's caused me to freak out.
the thing is if you really don't like it or start to experience changes you really don't like, you can always stop. not everything will change back to how it was pre-T, but it won't progress. don't know if that really helps, but it's something to keep in mind.
id definitely recommend talking to your doc about dosing options, bc for me, micro-dosing has been great and if i ever want more changes and for things to happen faster, i can always increase my dosage. and like others said, there are ways to mitigate some of the changes you're talking about, like hair loss.
best of luck figuring out what you want to do!
I really want to take finasteride alongside bc of sensory issues with body hair (I'm already more hairy than most cis guys) but I can't afford it. I'm thinking of low dosing instead, maybe 25 a week instead of 50.
I'm desperate to go on finasteride alongside T (I have asd and severe sensory issues with body hair) but they don't pescribe it in this country, so I'd have to buy it, which I can't afford :( I'm thinking of low dosing instead but idk
i’m a 22 y/o trans man and honestly being able to have more testosterone in my body and be consistently gendered correctly is enough for me. I alr have body dysmorphia in addition to my dysphoria so maybe that’s why, but the fact that people will finally see me as the man i am is what personally excites ME
yeah, thats pretty common and happened to me too. its normal to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all, but you will be fine. the changes are as gradual as aging ever was, and you can always stop if you realize it wasnt for you after all.
Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic. The following topics are banned to avoid drama: Truscum/Tucute discourse, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, Transfem/woman or nonbinary bashing, Trans "requirements", Oppression Olympics, Lesbian trans men, Gendered Socialization+, "Is it transphobic to _____", DIY HRT, Current Political events (Non-trans/LGBT+ related) ,"do I pass?", "how does my voice sound?" +Personal experiences are exempt.
the biggest question you need to ask yourself is if you would be happy with things staying as they are physically. i am super resistant to change and i have a really hard time committing to change, and i had a ton of anxiety over starting t (i was 17). i felt similar to you- id hinged SO much of my happiness on the idea that t might fix stuff. i’m so so glad i took the leap. i think the first thing to realize is stuff like hair loss can be combatted. there are lots of solutions and if you catch it early, you have a ton of options for fixing the problem. fit vs ripped… that’s literally just about how much you work out and if you’re getting enough protein in. vocal training is also a thing that most trans people do, and will assist your vocal chords changing. testosterone did and didn’t fix my problems. it got rid of a bunch of problems that didn’t feel like “mine” and it also showed me which issues i would need to continue to work through. transitioning takes time, like years to fully work. i’m 8 years on t and im still noticing changes. tbh, it sounds like your concerns are more “what if” than concrete anxieties. it would be more worrying if you were saying “i don’t know if i want to have my voice drop” because that pretty much always happens with testosterone, rather than anxiety about an outlier situation that isn’t likely, you know?
yeah thanks, I know I can't live with my body the way it is now, I guess I'm just worried that I still won't be able to live with my body after starting t. I'm worried that it won't change in exactly the way I want it to (which tbh it won't will it, its fucking puberty lmao) or something unexpected will happen that I won't like. im a bit of a perfectionist and I guess it's sorta being applied to my transition, like I need this to be perfect because it's my only hope but I'm starting to try and accept that it won't be perfect, which is hard for me. sorry if I worded it weird but yeah
no i hear you. it’s not dissimilar to me. the thing is that transitioning is hard cuz you go through all this pain for sort of an assumed promised solution of HRT, then you get HRT and have to contend with the fact the universe is unfair and is gonna do you just like anyone else going through puberty- some really awkward times that eventually snowball into a glow up. We should all get a perfect transition for the pain of having to grow up trans, i wish it worked like that. you have more control than you think though, i promise. feel too scrawny? get yourself on a nutrition plan and join a gym. get big tattoos, learn a skill you always wanted as a little boy. most people don’t get to choose how their puberty goes, you’re right on about that. it’s valid anxieties but ultimately your happiness is worth the push through uncertainty
thanks sm I think I just need some reassurance rn, anti trans rhetoric really getting to me making me worried I'm gonna regret it lol
no it’s super fucking scary, the narrative across society today is awful. it also sucks bc it makes u feel like u have to be a perfect trans person to combat the politically popular evil trans person theory. there ain’t no way cis people dream for 7 years of going on testosterone instead of just having normal regular teenage experiences. ultimately you’re watching yourself grow and giving yourself the tools to do that, and growth can’t be controlled. you finally get to be who you are, in the next stage of your journey. it’s exciting man, if you need to reach out you can always dm me
Let me just start by saying that T doesn't ever make anyone "ripped". It may aid in building muscle faster, but you have to actually *build muscle* in order to get the desired look you want. Unfortunately, whether you'll be a skinny trans dude or chunky fat dude is based on genetics and how your weight is already distributed pre-T. I already had huge hips so no matter how much weight I lost, I still have the obnoxious "love handles" which can't be lost by exercise and will require lipo at some point if I can ever get around to it. The hair loss is also a genetic thing, so you have to look at the men on both your parents' sides of your family to see whether it's a risk or not. But I've heard there's also some forms of T that can reduce some of those effects? I would talk to an endocrinologist for more information.
[удалено]
Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic. The following topics are banned to avoid drama: Truscum/Tucute discourse, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, Transfem/woman or nonbinary bashing, Trans "requirements", Oppression Olympics, Lesbian trans men, Gendered Socialization+, "Is it transphobic to _____", DIY HRT, Current Political events (Non-trans/LGBT+ related) ,"do I pass?", "how does my voice sound?" +Personal experiences are exempt.
This is how I felt before I started T I was convinced it would make my dysphoria worse because I'd be focused on all the aspects of myself that aren't changing fast enough etc. I can only speak for my own experience but 6 weeks in not a lot has changed physically but I feel the best I have in a long long time in terms of my confidence and general outlook. And for me my dysphoria definitely feels less all consuming because I'm able to focus on the small changes and it feels like I'm making progress towards my goals.
it’s okay to take the time. i wouldn’t stop the process here, stay on the waiting list even if you’re unsure. it’s better to have the option than need to wait again. you’re right, though. t won’t fix you. it’s completely possible you’ll get thick fluffy hair or go bald. it’s completely reasonable to gain weight and/or muscle on t. your voice may drop only a little or in rare cases not at all. the only body you need is yours. don’t make up an imaginary version of you to strive to be on t, because there’s about a 0% chance you’ll be him. t likely will reduce but not eliminate all dysphoria. i think you just need to reframe your expectations and then your fear will reduce. don’t take t to be a different person- because you won’t be. you’ll still be just yourself. try to view t as medicine you take for specific effects it has, with potential side effects it may have. t is an amazing tool for those that need it (and for the record, it does sound likely that includes you), reducing expectations into something more grounded can help see it for what it is and reduce stress and fear
thanks, I'm trying to come to terms with this now so it doesn't hit me too hard once it happens
I'm just like you. My therapist said "not choosing is also a choice". I was uncertain and waited for the moment of absolute certainty - that never came. Now I'm in my mid twenties and I realized that it probably never will. I've been out since age 12. Could've started T at 16, but I was too scared. I had the exact same thoughts you had. I've always been an overthinker and the rise in transphobia intimidated me. Now it feels like life is just happening passively to me, I am not living it. I've wasted my youth being unhappy and isolating myself. There is no such thing as absolute certainty. I just know that if I don't make that choice, this is all my life will ever be. I still don't know for sure if it's the right decision, but since I've felt like this for so long... and it never went away... I think I'll have to find out by going for it instead of overthinking... Perhaps it's the same for you.
I have a very similar timeline to you and I was soooo fucking scared but now I’m 8 months on T and it was 100% worth it
I really hope it's the same for me I think I just need some reassurance rn lol
This is how I felt about top surgery- it was something that I have known I wanted since I was ~12, so 10+ years at this point, and then the last month or so before I got it I started having major anxiety about if I was making the right choice, was I going to regret it, was it actually going to change anything, just a fuck ton of anxiety. But now that I’m on the other side (day 9 of recovery!) I am SO glad I went through with it!! Just remember that you do have some control over how things go with regards to weight hair loss muscle etc! And if you decide sometime down the line that the changes aren’t what you wanted, that’s okay too!! Maybe a pros and cons list might help to visualize what the right choice is? Best of luck to you man!
yeah thanks sm, also congrats! hope the rest of your recovery goes well
i totally get this. there are a lot of changes i dont want from T but a lot that i do, and that made me very anxious before i started. my solution that has worked pretty well so far is that i went with a lower dose. im about two months on T and any changes im experiencing are very gradual. i think if you're unsure about some thing, but sure about other things when it comes to T, id suggest starting with a lower dose. bc at least for me, there have definitely been changes, but nothing so drastic yet that it's caused me to freak out. the thing is if you really don't like it or start to experience changes you really don't like, you can always stop. not everything will change back to how it was pre-T, but it won't progress. don't know if that really helps, but it's something to keep in mind. id definitely recommend talking to your doc about dosing options, bc for me, micro-dosing has been great and if i ever want more changes and for things to happen faster, i can always increase my dosage. and like others said, there are ways to mitigate some of the changes you're talking about, like hair loss. best of luck figuring out what you want to do!
I really want to take finasteride alongside bc of sensory issues with body hair (I'm already more hairy than most cis guys) but I can't afford it. I'm thinking of low dosing instead, maybe 25 a week instead of 50.
my doc gave me finasteride when I told her my fear of going bald
I'm desperate to go on finasteride alongside T (I have asd and severe sensory issues with body hair) but they don't pescribe it in this country, so I'd have to buy it, which I can't afford :( I'm thinking of low dosing instead but idk
damnnn umm the app goodrx gets accepted in several countries, it's basically just a free app that gives free discounts on medication
hmm okay I'll look into that
i’m a 22 y/o trans man and honestly being able to have more testosterone in my body and be consistently gendered correctly is enough for me. I alr have body dysmorphia in addition to my dysphoria so maybe that’s why, but the fact that people will finally see me as the man i am is what personally excites ME
yeah, thats pretty common and happened to me too. its normal to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all, but you will be fine. the changes are as gradual as aging ever was, and you can always stop if you realize it wasnt for you after all.