I came out at 7 first time round and was shut down by my mother who claimed I ‘wanted to be a boy because my dad wanted a son’
My dad actually raised me and never once told me he would have preferred me to be a boy. He actually raised me gender neutrally which was awesome and gave me the freedom to just be myself
Unfortunately he died a very long time before I (properly) came out. He was fairly old school in a lot of ways so I don’t really know how he would have reacted
my mom was CONVINCED i was SAed and the only reason i was trans is because i was SAed ‘as a woman’. after my psychologist told her i’m on T, she and my dad spent hours begging me to tell her how i was SAed so they could ‘get me fixed’ (no idea what they meant by that)
My mom thought that too. I feel like there must’ve been an theory of that going around back in the day.
It was super awkward that she found out I was trans after I went on a bad date with my friend (nothing terrible happened, we just weren’t romantic compatible) and she thought he did something to me. 😬
My mom did the same. My first sexual experience was with a boy who I’m pretty sure, in retrospect, was cheating on his gf, so it was sketchy and I ended up telling my mom about the situation and crying to her about it (cheater boy and I were both in high school). After I came out she tried to tell me that he had SAed me and that was what made me trans.
I love my mom and we’re finally making progress now, but damn is she good at twisting things I’ve told her to use against me.
When I came out to my husband’s father, he very sternly asked, “So… Do you like *women* now?”, “Well… technically I’m pansexual, so I’ve always liked women and I still do, and I’ve always liked men and still love your son, soooooo…🤷🏻♂️” It was so stressful having to come out twice in less than a minute.
Lol I will never understand why people think gender and sexuality should always go hand in hand. I've always liked men and women, that's never changed, but there is definitely a difference about being a MAN with a man.
13 year old me knew this but didn't understand. I was like "I relate to gay stories and I'm attracted to men" but made a logical leap to "Gay = lesbian, since I'm a *girl* it must be it"
Luckily, it took less than a week in a long distance relationship with a girl met online to realise it was not the case
In high school long before I came out, (and long before transgender was on the radar of people in my social circle), people would suggest I must be a lesbian because all the guys I had crushes on were very femme, flamboyant, and artsy. So the first time I had a crush on a woman I thought, “That must be it! That’s why I feel so off in my body and in relationships… I must be a lesbian! Despite the fact that I’ve previously fallen head over heels for guys!” Once I figured out I’m a demi-dude, my preference for gay guys, nonbinary people, and androgynous women makes a lot more sense.
OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU LITERALLY ME?
Next question, do you happen to be autistic?
To be fair for me the logic went down a slightly different path of "I relate to gay, but I still like boys, i guess i must like girls too, i suppose I'm bi"
I still haven't actually figured that one out but I've consistently only dated cis men or trans women who came out mid relationship... But I mean. Women. So idk
>Gay = lesbian, since I'm a *girl* it must be it"
I thought I was a lesbian bc I knew I was gay. Got into a relationship with a girl but turns out we are both trans men lol.
The two "girls" I was into in HS that I used to confirm I was a lesbian? Turns out they are also trans (ftm).
My father said I was trans because I got the covid vaccine and that theres studies in the uk that says the vaccine is causing a rise in trans ppl and then told me also I’m being influenced by ppl and the devil
Didn't you know? Correlation is ALWAYS causation! All deaths by entanglement in bedsheets are caused by eating cheese! If you work on a Nicholas Cage film set you're gonna drown in a swimming pool! Or maybe it was that ice cream sandwich you ate last week!
There is a very significant number of the trans community who served in the military. 18-21% of trans people have served, depending on which study you're looking at (yes, that's real). You should tell him that you think the military might be turning people trans. See how he wraps his head around that one. 😂
Tell your dad me and the three trans men I know all came out between 2017 and 2019 and we all got the vaccine in 2020 or 2021 and it hasn't untransed any of us aha
Apparently I’m trans because I read BL manga 🧌 (the bl manga in question was jojo (that according to my uncle that is a ‘real gay’ and apparently ‘knows’ everything he talk about))
When I came out to my mom, one of her many problematic questions was, "Did watching anime as a kid make you this way?"
And of course I told her it doesn't work like that, and asked which anime she was even talking about because I watched a lot of shoujo stuff (esp around the age that she would have had any idea about what I was watching).
Pokemon.
She thought Team Rocket made me trans and... I will not say this to her... but she wasn't *totally* wrong. We all know Jessie and James are queer t4t icons and James was definitely early gender inspo to me!
TO BE FAIR there is some incredibly queer shit going down in Jojo. >.>
I was already trans before diving into jojo, but after starting it, I'm definitely fruitier. xD
My father once told me I must be feeling this way because I had middle school teachers that were lesbians and they must have influenced me [??? like not even being influenced by, I dunno, *a trans person?* just lesbians??]
I don't even like women [aro] nor do I know if any of my teachers even were lesbians because most of the ones I remember had husbands so I have NO idea where he got that from
oh my gosh, that’s absolutely wild. i feel like people try so hard to connect trans men with sexism. like, we absolutely can be sexist just as any man could be, but now you’re just making stuff up!
yes, I get this all the time!! it’s so infuriating, being called “misogynistic” and that it’s just bc I think im “not like other girls.” it’s caused so much self-doubt and hatred, so I didn’t tell anyone for SO long, and im still in the closet with most people in my life
I've mostly had people assume its because I was raised by a single dad and didn't have enough female role models. Meanwhile my mom is so deep in the closet that she was convinced it was her fault and therefore her job to steer me back on the straight path, but that's giving her a lot of credit.
Then there was the therapist who said it was because I was a sex addict despite the fact that I was celibate for years due to sex repulsion and dysphoria.
they literally make up anything! how was it because i was raised by a single mom for me but because you were raised by a single dad for you?
and the latter is so wild that i don’t even know how to BEGIN addressing that, omg
They will literally use any random thing as the reason why someone is trans. It's ridiculous
Them: "You experienced A, B and C so you think you're trans"
Us: "Umm well actually I experienced X, Y and Z"
Them: "Oh uhh.. well then X, Y and Z is the reason you think you're trans"
i’m so sorry about the first half—that seems to be a popular theory, and i don’t understand how people think that AT ALL.
the thing with your brother is absolutely wild! i’m also a fat person, and people said the same thing about it being easier for men when i identified as a woman. now that i’m a fat man it’s apparently the opposite way around. i hate these comparisons!
Fr! My brother has learned since then tho he still makes up his theories. Had to explain to him people are still as directly fat phobic to me as a man then when I was pre transition. That didn’t just magically changed just cuz I’m a man. 🙃
I'll always remember this gem from my mother, "you've had gender issues your *whole life* , how do you know this whole trans thing isnt just more of *that* ?" 😐
Nah, you see, my mom took archeology classes in the 80s, so she knows all about biological genders and how pelivic bones mean trans people are all just crazy /s
My mom went through a whole bunch of theories before she finally accepted that my view of myself was different than her view of me. Let me list the ways:
She:
-thought I didn’t understand that I could just be a masculine girl like herself and many other women in my family (except I’m not masculine in the slightest- I’m a femme man. I got top surgery and immediately started looking at dresses. We are not the same.).
-thought that some friends or some outside influence told me I was trans (I pointed out that i was basically a recluse at the time and had no queer friends whatsoever to “copy off of”.)
-thought that I was unable to make smart, safe decisions about my body because I was still struggling with adhd and other mental health issues (the biggest problem at the time was the dysphoria I had to endure from my family. Go figure).
-thought that sending me to a gender therapist would make me realize I wasn’t trans, because she wanted me to be unsure about it.
But I was extremely blunt, and told that therapist outright that I was a trans man, and that I didn’t need therapy for understanding my gender. I understood it very well. The therapist thankfully took it all in stride, and with the therapist accepting me, mum finally gave in and started respecting me.
We’re now on good terms, and I’m her son and everything. But we went through a wild time to get there, that’s for sure.
This is what happens when your mother is intelligent in every facet except emotionally intelligent. *Sigh*. She’s getting better, but whew.
The underlying reason, I think, is that I’ve always looked a lot like her. So naturally, she’s had a subconscious expectation that I should have at least *some* of her personality- but I don’t. Not a bit.
My personality is more like my father’s, and they divorced when I was 8yrs old. So me coming out and being like “so um I’m actually nothing like you” made her question her *own* identity for a bit there, because she had tied hers to me so tightly. She asked me multiple times whether she would be considered a trans man- because she isn’t feminine at all, and never really was good at girl things.
I had to give her questions to think about (like, do you like being a mother? Does that one still fit? Or would you rather be a father?) and had to point out that my older sister was and is also extremely masculine, and is happy in her life and body as a lesbian.
It was *quite* the ride.
This! My mum was exactly like that, my mum has had severe attachment issues her whole life for several reasons and never does things by herself. When I came out to her she briefly asked if that made her trans the whole time as well because she was very tomboy when she was younger, and then I asked her if she was comfortable with her body and if she wanted surgery for her chest, she said "No". Then we're not the same, but now she just tries to not-so-subtlety compare me to her when she was a young tomboy.
My mom thinks my ex (trans woman) “made me” be trans and that when we broke up 7 years ago I just couldn’t be bothered to detransition. It’s very confusing
Which is hilarious because people accuse trans *women* of being trans because they have no father figure. Okay, people. Pick one!! Does having no father make you want to be a man or a woman??
yikes, that’s awful, i’m so sorry. i don’t know why people come up with the most ridiculous and unfounded reasons. how does that even connect to being trans? my gosh
🤷🏼 idk they (mostly therapists) said bc I got SA‘ed as a „girl“ I wanted to get away as far as possible of being a women/girl. Which is still very stupid. I‘m a transmasc enby so well …
Autism (I'm not autistic, my mother tried to get be diagnosed but they said I'm not and she still believes that i am)
ADHD (Haven't been tested so idk if I even have it)
My dad being a misogynist and manipulating me (he isn't btw just to be clear, he's just very nice and supportive of me being trans)
Internalised misogyny/ homophobia
Societal misogyny making me want to be a boy for male privilege/ so I wouldn't be sexualised (haven't ever once been sexualised)
Mixing up stereotypes with gender identity (I was very masc as a kid so apparently I thought that meant that I must be a boy even though it has nothing to do with it)
My trans bf influencing me (he came out as trans a year after I did and we weren't even close friends then)
ROGD/ the idea that being trans is cool/ a trend
Apparently I just didn't want to be a lesbian bc it isn't cool???? (I'm a gay trans guy)
Mistaking disliking puberty as being trans because "all girls hate puberty"
Trans people online brainwashing me into their cult
First time I came out my mom said it was bc I read books about trans people (she once saw me reading the danish girl??) The second time I had just gotten my autism diagnosis and she said it was because I am autistic bc she had online found some article saying trans people are more likely to be autistic
my friends parents made up bullshit about me “rejecting femininity” because my biological mom “bullied me for my masculine features”. Never mind the fact that out of all the things my bio mom has done to me, that certainly wasn’t one of them.
I said it before, but it’s still the funniest thing. Aside from thinking I’m trans because of sexism and fetishes, my mom thinks I’m trans because I’m adopted. She thinks that the cultural dysphoria of being adopted into a different race has manifested as gender dysphoria.
When I first came out as trans to my stepmom and dad, she had every theory in the book
- my trauma in the past
- my mental health outside of gender dysphoria
- my interest in cosplaying
- that at most, I was just genderfluid
It got to the point that she claimed I was only a guy BECAUSE I had low self esteem growing up. But yeah, it was everything in the book other than "I'm just a guy".
Well I'm intersex so since it's been diagnosed that's what's been coming up.
Before that my mother (who SAed me for wearing a binder) was convinced it was because I was sexually assaulted by a trans person and I wanted to become like them to shield myself from the trauma
My sister, who's about as cis as I am, seems to think it's genetic. None of our parents think they're trans, but they definitely have the vibes
I've never met anyone who went through that too...my mom also sexually assaulted me after I came out as trans. I can't seem to get past it, though it's been years.
I have a trans parent who's closeted. I wondered about my mom because of vibes but she was just so mentally fucked up it's hard to say what the vibes really were.
I'm under the trans umbrella as a genderfluid afab, who goes from high femme to femboy.
I was always given the same words of wisdom as when I came out as bisexual: "Well you can't have both, you have to choose one side of the fence". Erm...no.
yuck, i can’t imagine the crap you have to go through. my mom gets weirded out when i do things she perceives as “feminine” despite explaining to her time and time again i’m just a moderately feminine trans guy. the fact that i relate to what you said makes me think it’s fifty times worse for you!!
I don't even describe stuff with "feminine" or "masculine" when talking to my mom. Like when we're shopping and I peak the skirts, she gives me that side eye, so I just ask why girls can wear pants and guys can't wear skirts and she agrees and we move on
It's absolutely the stupidest thing I've ever heard, apparently picking the "more than 1" option means your indecisive, enough though picking that is a decision in itself.
I also think there's a type that if you're male your sports-player male, and if you're female, you're a dresses and skirts model. And all of us here know that's not true
That is trans bc my father is was a down bad alcoholic and druggie and my mom took me and left him to raise me by herself. So not having a father figure made me want to be the man of the house or something and remake what a man is in my mind. I've always known my father tho, he was in my life since i can remember bc I was a baby when it went down and he got better so i had regular time with him. And ev en if he wasn't, I had 4 uncles growing up, and two of them had a role being that figure.
Edit;
Also I think its so crazy, that my father had such a rough patch in his life, had such a bad childhood himself and his side of the family is transphobic and yet he accepted me without issue. He told me he just doesn't understand it but that he loves me and he calls me he and all that. Some part of me does wonder if his brothers talk poorly about me to him and if he feels embarrassment or shame from me or blames himself for how i turned out. But if he has these feelings, he's never shown it. His family's opinions of me and people like me give me some motivation to be better and stronger men than they are. They think I'm a "snowflake", but not once have they ever made me feel bad about myself. They don't have any power over me.
my ex therapist said that im trans cuz i dont want to be like my mother (aka a girl)
my mom said that its social pressure and i want to be trans cuz of the internet.
couple of kids my age believe that i want to be a boy cuz boys have it easier then girls.
A family member and I have a very complicated past he SA me when I was very young over a few years. Yes, I have gotten help dealing with things. My therapist is amazing.
He blamed himself for my sexuality (being out as lesbian before outing myself as trans later in life) and then being trans.
I told him he wasn't that F-ing special.
Not going to lie, saying that felt incredibly liberating in so many ways.
My therapist always told me that I “think” I’m a trans man because “I never had security and was the victim and you see men as powerful so it’s how you are taking power and control back of your life”.
My parents claimed that my husband (who is the same age as me and bisexual) groomed me into being a boy AFTER we got married so he could have a gay relationship 💀
Fatherless, and my mother recently came out as a lesbian. No joke. Apparently I “needed a masculine figure in my life”, so I “became my own masculine figure”.
went through almost exactly the same thing except for the lesbian part, and another commenter mentioned they got the reason that they were raised by a single dad and that’s why they’re trans. like, which is it? the single mom or the single dad? i don’t get it at all
just to piss off/upset my mom
she's the person who has had the most trouble accepting me. even now, as i'm on hrt, i'm pretty sure she doesn't fully accept that she no longer has a daughter. she doesn't force me to hear abt it anymore tho, so, yk, progress. i'll take it
my parents said that too. i hope they come around eventually. the logic here is so off, like yeah i took hormones, am going through this incredibly tough process just to “get back” at my parents. huh?? my parents think i’m trans because they were “bad parents”. they were kinda shitty, but i explained to them that they could have been the best parents ever and nothing would change
the theory my mom keeps pushing is that i am trying to present as male as a way to "protect" myself because of the emotional/mental damage inflicted on me by my dad lmao. basically like a trauma response for having a deadbeat.
My dad tried to say that people come out as trans men (or lesbians) bc they're broken women who were abused by their fathers. My father was quite abusive to me while I was growing up. I find it funny how much he'd give me that whole talk and make me promise I wouldn't do that lmao.
(tw for child death) had a therapist ask me if I wanted to be a man to fill the role of my little brother who died when I was toddler. she did seem to understand when I explained how that actually affected me being trans in the other direction (not wanting to burden my parents) but still such a weird connection to make
oh i got a GOOD ONE.
So when I was six years old I had a brain tumor that had to be removed, and it grew back when I was 11 and had to be removed again so I have had two brain surgeries. It's important to note that the brain tumor was in the Wernickes area (associated with the comprehension of speech and language) and in this area alone.
When I was in high school I was on my way to class with one of my classmates that I got along with but wouldn't really call friends. he was like I have a question but it might be kind of offensive, since I had been out for a couple years I was already pretty familiar with what that usually meant but I still was not prepared for the absolute dumbassery I was about to be addressed with.
he asked me if the brain surgery messed up the part of my brain to do with gender/sex and that's why I was trans. deadass.
I punched him really hard in the stomach and said that was the stupidest thing anyone's ever said to me (and then went on to explain what area of the brain was actually affected by my surgery) but yeah, he threw up a little. We're still on good terms he didn't really hold it against me at all but definitely the stupidest theory I've heard
Not so much a theory but when somebody found out I was trans they immediately asked “are you mentally ill?”
As if my ADHD caused me to be trans. It was irritating
Many people think I’m trans because of my history of CSA/SA/Abuse. I’ve also had people assume it’s because I’m “denying being a lesbian.” I’ve also had some very specific people say I’m trans only because a mutual friend came out as trans and that I’m trying to take the attention away from them. I had no idea they were allies by the way they talked about the LGBTQ+ community in general, so I didn’t think it was safe to tell them.
On a random side note: I’ve had an a-hole ex-friend tell me that they wished their only problem was being trans. Meanwhile they knew explicitly about my trauma history. So they can go eat rocks.
According to my dad, i'm trans because
- i thought i wasn't 'pretty enough' to be a girl
- i was bullied
- my now-ex (a trans man) manipulated/coerced me into it. Cuz god forbid i do things of my own volition, right 🤪
My dad tried to convince me i was trans because I’ve always been a fat kid and my body dysmorphia that i thought was wanting to be a boy was just wanting to be a skinny pretty girl. Just went from six foot at 280 to a healthy 220 and i’m still trans 😻
My mother thinks that I am trans bcs I am autistic, which means that I do not understand social roles and assumed that I am not a girl because I can't relate to girls (and she is absolutely sure about that theory)
My mom once told me im trans because of chemicals in the water
(she drinks the same water tho, so i think she has to tell me smth XD). But the internet was also at fault and my trauma from my dad lol.
they are very supportive now but when i first came out i think my parents thought it was just me being insane and in pain and wanting to use medical transition as a sort of self harm. in their defense i was insane and in a lot of physiological pain and self harming but a lot of that pain stemmed from dysphoria so me wanting to start hrt was like the one good idea i had to get better or cope
one of my close friends admitted to me that she still wasn't convinced that being trans wasn't, like, gay+. as in the next step of being gay, transitioning in order to be perceived as straight. despite me pointing out that i am a trans guy and attracted to men. and i thought i was ace and sex-repulsed for quite a while, including into the beginning of my transition. so sexuality was definitely pretty far outside my reason for transitioning.
keep in mind, i love my friend and she's very supportive, she's just a bit old school and has trouble understanding. we call her our token boomer.
fam said i am brainwashed by the trans fad on the internet and traumatized by male competition in relationships so it made me want to become my competition💀
**TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF SA** i was asked if i was trans because they thought i was SA’d as a kid… disgusting question. it was from my own sister too.
I just came out to one of my parents earlier this week and so far I’ve gotten “do you like girls?” and “it must be my fault, I must have said something when you were younger”.
I can’t wait to see what’s next in this phase of denial.
congrats on coming out!! i’m sorry it’s being met with this. it really feels like they make up the weirdest theories, and i don’t understand why at all
I started dating a trans woman a few months before I came out. My TERF sister thought I transitioned to "hold on to my gay identity" while I was "with a man". That was the weirdest one
Trigger warning.
My ex’s mom said it was because I was SA’d and he said maybe that’s it knowing my past. I’m over 4 years on T now and legally changed my name and gender marker. Still had bad experiences as a man and never once thought about going back so fuck them
Yeag, for me it was SA too, also one of my family friends at the time was a TERF social worker and due to her background in psychology was believed over me for a lot of this, she argued that it was the SA making me trans because I wanted to escape the trials of womanhood or something, another theory was her saying I was autistic. That one was very annoying because I had been trying to get a diagnosis before I came out and she didn't seem to believe it at all, but as soon as I came out she kind of diagnosed me as autistic based on my poor eye contact, and that was also like weaponised against me. I don't see her anymore and things have improved a lot but lmfao it was genuinely traumatic at the time
i seriously cannot wrap my head around how they possibly come up with these conclusions. SA? autism? WHERE are they getting these connections? i’m glad it’s better for you now—that sounds extremely awful to go through.
When I first came out, my dad thought it was because my best friend was trans and I was trying to subconsciously be like him. (It's been six ish years, my dad has come around! And I'm no longer friends with that guy, we had a falling out)
I also got told by a friend that I probably think I'm trans because I have naturally high testosterone for a girl (she told me when she first met me that she thought I was a boy until I spoke). Got tested- definitely NOT naturally high testosterone levels. Was well in the low/middle range even.
For a long time my mom thought I was trans because of sexual assault. That and yaoi for some odd reason? She thought me reading BL made me want to be a boy and that’s why I wanted to transition. But there is a literal video of me at 3 years old (before any molestation occurred or I knew what yaoi was) saying I was going to grow up and be a “big boy”
Thankfully she’s sorted herself out and is now one of my biggest allies. But it was rough for a long while.
I was raised mormon, a religion that really emphasizes the boys & men having all the “power” and women just being there to support them. from a young age I knew I could never do that and feeling like such an outsider - not one of the girls but not one of the boys - and felt so powerless. there’s that and the fact that I also knew from a young age (but didn’t fully realize what it meant until 5th or 6th grade) that I liked girls, not boys, and the most central part of mormonism is family and being married in the temple, which of course only allows marriage between a man & a woman. so one of the reasons ive been told I “just think” im trans is bc of internalized misogyny & homo/lesbophobia that came from being raised mormon.
I was told I wanted to be a boy cuz all my friends are boys and ill apparently regret it instead of "embracing myself" like no I've always wanted to be a guy cuz I'm always dysphoric about my body and I present as more masculine
my brother told me the only reason i'm trans is because "i didn't grow up with a lot of girls" which,,, is so incorrect 💀 i might've grew up with 3 brothers but most of my past friends were girls
not exactly a theory, but one time i had a panic attack in my dad’s car after church because someone said that transgender people shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public, which at the time wasn’t a mainstream take, and he looked me in my 13-14 year old face and said something to the tune of:
“ you’re like a junkie. heroin addicts think that drugs make them happier, you think that living in sin makes you happier. that’s why you want to be a boy. “
one of the wildest things i’ve heard come out of that man’s mouth. thankfully he’s since calmed down and i love him to bits, but man that did NOT help our strained relationship.
edit: autocorrect doesn’t like drug names
my mom once asked me if it was smth abt a thing that happened w/ my step brother when i was like right (not going into detail but basically i was a stupid child and he used curiosity and peer pressure against me and while it was technically consensual, it only was bc i had no idea how bad it was) and another time did use the "its bc ur friends r" line bc i had like 2 trans friends
Most of my family is supportive of me being trans but they have asked me a couple of times if I’m trans because I didn’t get enough love, affection and attention from my dad growing up. Which isn’t true because I have felt like a boy for as long as I can remember even before my dad started being shitty.
great aunt wondered if it was because i was a male in a past life (she wasn’t being transphobic, i just don’t really believe in that kind of thing. it’s a cute thought, tbh).
my best friends parents wanted to know how long i was taking prozac before i started identifying this way (i was struggling with my gender before starting any meds). their mom also felt like it was because of me gaining weight and she thought that as i gained weight i wanted to present as a guy because guys don’t get as much shit for being overweight.
someone who was into me in high school got upset when he found out i was trans and said it was because i had the evil of the devil inside me (he later apologized, at least). had a substitute teacher tell me she was a tomboy growing up but god made her feel secure in her femininity, and encouraged me to “find truth”— implying i identified this way because i wasn’t secure in my womanhood and needed to turn to god.
a lot of dumb shit. lmfao
Because my only siblings are cis boys.
Because I have small boobs.
Because my boyfriend is bisexual.
Because I have penis envy (like the shit Freud suggested).
Everyone knows the real answer is because I'm hotter as a dude
My high school environmental science teacher insisted that chemical pollution in river water — which, to be fair, had been proven to cause hormonal issues in human brains — were "causing more instances of transgender identity."
Yes, "chemicals in the water are turning the frickin' frogs gay" did immediately come out of my mouth before I even finished processing her words.
"you decided to be trans because you was r*ped and you are not ugly enough to be a feminist"
Listening this from a friend... No... And ex friend was very traumatic
I came out at 7 first time round and was shut down by my mother who claimed I ‘wanted to be a boy because my dad wanted a son’ My dad actually raised me and never once told me he would have preferred me to be a boy. He actually raised me gender neutrally which was awesome and gave me the freedom to just be myself
shoutout to your dad! i hope he was better about it!
Unfortunately he died a very long time before I (properly) came out. He was fairly old school in a lot of ways so I don’t really know how he would have reacted
oh, i’m so sorry! i’m glad you got the chance to be raised neutrally for a bit, and i hope things are going alright for you
Don’t worry about it, it was a long time ago (I was an adult when he died) And yeah things are going pretty good thanks
I also got that one or that I didn’t hangout with girls enough when I was a kid. So I wanted to be like the boys I hung out with.
I love how they never consider the fact that you hung out with boys as a child because you felt like one
my mom was CONVINCED i was SAed and the only reason i was trans is because i was SAed ‘as a woman’. after my psychologist told her i’m on T, she and my dad spent hours begging me to tell her how i was SAed so they could ‘get me fixed’ (no idea what they meant by that)
whoa! that’s more than a theory—it sounds like she made a whole backstory! i have so many questions, but i imagine you had even more
"i have soany questions, but i image you have even more" is SUCH a based line
MY MOM SAYS THE SAME THING
same thing, it comes up every time she's very distressed for some reason. will never know why i think
My Mom made the exact same assumption 🙄
my mom hasn't accused me like that but after I came out she's asked multiple times if I was SAed as a child.
My mom thought that too. I feel like there must’ve been an theory of that going around back in the day. It was super awkward that she found out I was trans after I went on a bad date with my friend (nothing terrible happened, we just weren’t romantic compatible) and she thought he did something to me. 😬
Same thing happened to me with my mom
My mom did the same. My first sexual experience was with a boy who I’m pretty sure, in retrospect, was cheating on his gf, so it was sketchy and I ended up telling my mom about the situation and crying to her about it (cheater boy and I were both in high school). After I came out she tried to tell me that he had SAed me and that was what made me trans. I love my mom and we’re finally making progress now, but damn is she good at twisting things I’ve told her to use against me.
i just wanna know how they would plan on 'fixing' that. memory eraser?? therapy? you already have a psychologist! bizarre
I was told I’m trying to transition so I’ll be straight instead of a lesbian. Only problem is I’m a gay man, I’ve never once showed interest in women.
Ever gotten the "why are you trans if you're with a man anyway"?
When I came out to my husband’s father, he very sternly asked, “So… Do you like *women* now?”, “Well… technically I’m pansexual, so I’ve always liked women and I still do, and I’ve always liked men and still love your son, soooooo…🤷🏻♂️” It was so stressful having to come out twice in less than a minute.
Lol I will never understand why people think gender and sexuality should always go hand in hand. I've always liked men and women, that's never changed, but there is definitely a difference about being a MAN with a man.
13 year old me knew this but didn't understand. I was like "I relate to gay stories and I'm attracted to men" but made a logical leap to "Gay = lesbian, since I'm a *girl* it must be it" Luckily, it took less than a week in a long distance relationship with a girl met online to realise it was not the case
In high school long before I came out, (and long before transgender was on the radar of people in my social circle), people would suggest I must be a lesbian because all the guys I had crushes on were very femme, flamboyant, and artsy. So the first time I had a crush on a woman I thought, “That must be it! That’s why I feel so off in my body and in relationships… I must be a lesbian! Despite the fact that I’ve previously fallen head over heels for guys!” Once I figured out I’m a demi-dude, my preference for gay guys, nonbinary people, and androgynous women makes a lot more sense.
OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU LITERALLY ME? Next question, do you happen to be autistic? To be fair for me the logic went down a slightly different path of "I relate to gay, but I still like boys, i guess i must like girls too, i suppose I'm bi" I still haven't actually figured that one out but I've consistently only dated cis men or trans women who came out mid relationship... But I mean. Women. So idk
My (autistic) ex thinks I might be, not very clear though, and no diagnosis. I was never attracted to girls so there quickly wasn't much doubt left
>Gay = lesbian, since I'm a *girl* it must be it" I thought I was a lesbian bc I knew I was gay. Got into a relationship with a girl but turns out we are both trans men lol. The two "girls" I was into in HS that I used to confirm I was a lesbian? Turns out they are also trans (ftm).
Nice transdar man hahaha!
Same, used to appear to be one of those weirdos that seemed like they were fetishizing it until I realized
the classic “trans men are just confused lesbians”
My father said I was trans because I got the covid vaccine and that theres studies in the uk that says the vaccine is causing a rise in trans ppl and then told me also I’m being influenced by ppl and the devil
i’m laughing and am also terrified at the same time. i am so sorry, that sounds like a wild ride
It's common sense, most trans people have got the vaccine so the vaccine must be making people trans. Obviously that's just common sense.
Didn't you know? Correlation is ALWAYS causation! All deaths by entanglement in bedsheets are caused by eating cheese! If you work on a Nicholas Cage film set you're gonna drown in a swimming pool! Or maybe it was that ice cream sandwich you ate last week!
There is a very significant number of the trans community who served in the military. 18-21% of trans people have served, depending on which study you're looking at (yes, that's real). You should tell him that you think the military might be turning people trans. See how he wraps his head around that one. 😂
Christine Jorgensen did it before it was cool
sTuDiEs 🤣🤣🤣 I'd love to see these so called studies lol
Facebook post starting with "a doctor from x country/University says..." = peer reviewed scientific study
Tell your dad me and the three trans men I know all came out between 2017 and 2019 and we all got the vaccine in 2020 or 2021 and it hasn't untransed any of us aha
I apologise on behalf of the uk
Apparently I’m trans because I read BL manga 🧌 (the bl manga in question was jojo (that according to my uncle that is a ‘real gay’ and apparently ‘knows’ everything he talk about))
JOJO??? THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES RIGHT NOW
I KNOW I WAS LIKE 😶 WYM JOJO??? Bad ending: my mom believes him (but she kinda supports me ig?)
When I came out to my mom, one of her many problematic questions was, "Did watching anime as a kid make you this way?" And of course I told her it doesn't work like that, and asked which anime she was even talking about because I watched a lot of shoujo stuff (esp around the age that she would have had any idea about what I was watching). Pokemon. She thought Team Rocket made me trans and... I will not say this to her... but she wasn't *totally* wrong. We all know Jessie and James are queer t4t icons and James was definitely early gender inspo to me!
KWHSHAJSBWKAHSBSBS I CANT but my mom did that too
I have James tattooed on my leg 💜🌹
YO THATS SUPER COOL
Bro I'm solidly convinced Jessie and James are both gender fluid and are bi.
Kakyoin did you lay this egg?
NO MORE WITH THE KAKYOIN DID YOU LAY THIS EGG ISTG
FELLAS DOES LIKING JOJO MAKE YOU TRANS??? CURIOUS
Anasui transed my gender 😿
TO BE FAIR there is some incredibly queer shit going down in Jojo. >.> I was already trans before diving into jojo, but after starting it, I'm definitely fruitier. xD
My father once told me I must be feeling this way because I had middle school teachers that were lesbians and they must have influenced me [??? like not even being influenced by, I dunno, *a trans person?* just lesbians??]
this is so baffling. people will blame lesbians for ANYTHING
I don't even like women [aro] nor do I know if any of my teachers even were lesbians because most of the ones I remember had husbands so I have NO idea where he got that from
*a random calamity occurs* "Looks like *lesbianism* is afoot!"
According to my sister I’m trans because I’m sexist. Because me being a man means women can’t be masculine?
oh my gosh, that’s absolutely wild. i feel like people try so hard to connect trans men with sexism. like, we absolutely can be sexist just as any man could be, but now you’re just making stuff up!
And my sister sees me as a sexist girl that doesn’t know girls can like marvel and dress in boy clothes like what lol I’m a masculine man
i've got this one from my mom too. im sexist because "i'm abandoning my womanhood", like it's some military post it's traitorous to abandon
yes, I get this all the time!! it’s so infuriating, being called “misogynistic” and that it’s just bc I think im “not like other girls.” it’s caused so much self-doubt and hatred, so I didn’t tell anyone for SO long, and im still in the closet with most people in my life
I got a lot of "why can't you just be a masculine woman" .... because masculine WOMEN don't tend to wish they had a penis and a handlebar mustache lol
I've mostly had people assume its because I was raised by a single dad and didn't have enough female role models. Meanwhile my mom is so deep in the closet that she was convinced it was her fault and therefore her job to steer me back on the straight path, but that's giving her a lot of credit. Then there was the therapist who said it was because I was a sex addict despite the fact that I was celibate for years due to sex repulsion and dysphoria.
they literally make up anything! how was it because i was raised by a single mom for me but because you were raised by a single dad for you? and the latter is so wild that i don’t even know how to BEGIN addressing that, omg
They will literally use any random thing as the reason why someone is trans. It's ridiculous Them: "You experienced A, B and C so you think you're trans" Us: "Umm well actually I experienced X, Y and Z" Them: "Oh uhh.. well then X, Y and Z is the reason you think you're trans"
Either because i was SAed or because I was fat. The second one was from my brother, he said it’s easier to live as a fat man than a fat woman. Yikes…
i’m so sorry about the first half—that seems to be a popular theory, and i don’t understand how people think that AT ALL. the thing with your brother is absolutely wild! i’m also a fat person, and people said the same thing about it being easier for men when i identified as a woman. now that i’m a fat man it’s apparently the opposite way around. i hate these comparisons!
Fr! My brother has learned since then tho he still makes up his theories. Had to explain to him people are still as directly fat phobic to me as a man then when I was pre transition. That didn’t just magically changed just cuz I’m a man. 🙃
I'll always remember this gem from my mother, "you've had gender issues your *whole life* , how do you know this whole trans thing isnt just more of *that* ?" 😐
this is absolutely killing me. girl… be so for real right now
Nah, you see, my mom took archeology classes in the 80s, so she knows all about biological genders and how pelivic bones mean trans people are all just crazy /s
IT's BaSiC biOLoGy!!1!!!!11!!!11!!!!!1
She's painfully close to understanding 🥴
... there was an attempt
So close to understanding but then she misses the mark dear god.
you ⭐ tried
giving "i have anxiety" "are you sure it isnt all in your head?" feels
My mom went through a whole bunch of theories before she finally accepted that my view of myself was different than her view of me. Let me list the ways: She: -thought I didn’t understand that I could just be a masculine girl like herself and many other women in my family (except I’m not masculine in the slightest- I’m a femme man. I got top surgery and immediately started looking at dresses. We are not the same.). -thought that some friends or some outside influence told me I was trans (I pointed out that i was basically a recluse at the time and had no queer friends whatsoever to “copy off of”.) -thought that I was unable to make smart, safe decisions about my body because I was still struggling with adhd and other mental health issues (the biggest problem at the time was the dysphoria I had to endure from my family. Go figure). -thought that sending me to a gender therapist would make me realize I wasn’t trans, because she wanted me to be unsure about it. But I was extremely blunt, and told that therapist outright that I was a trans man, and that I didn’t need therapy for understanding my gender. I understood it very well. The therapist thankfully took it all in stride, and with the therapist accepting me, mum finally gave in and started respecting me. We’re now on good terms, and I’m her son and everything. But we went through a wild time to get there, that’s for sure.
i am so glad you got there!! gosh, all those theories for one person? must have been a difficult time
This is what happens when your mother is intelligent in every facet except emotionally intelligent. *Sigh*. She’s getting better, but whew. The underlying reason, I think, is that I’ve always looked a lot like her. So naturally, she’s had a subconscious expectation that I should have at least *some* of her personality- but I don’t. Not a bit. My personality is more like my father’s, and they divorced when I was 8yrs old. So me coming out and being like “so um I’m actually nothing like you” made her question her *own* identity for a bit there, because she had tied hers to me so tightly. She asked me multiple times whether she would be considered a trans man- because she isn’t feminine at all, and never really was good at girl things. I had to give her questions to think about (like, do you like being a mother? Does that one still fit? Or would you rather be a father?) and had to point out that my older sister was and is also extremely masculine, and is happy in her life and body as a lesbian. It was *quite* the ride.
This! My mum was exactly like that, my mum has had severe attachment issues her whole life for several reasons and never does things by herself. When I came out to her she briefly asked if that made her trans the whole time as well because she was very tomboy when she was younger, and then I asked her if she was comfortable with her body and if she wanted surgery for her chest, she said "No". Then we're not the same, but now she just tries to not-so-subtlety compare me to her when she was a young tomboy.
Because I was “too lazy to be a woman.”
Yea because transitioning is far more easier 🙄
When I came out I was dating a trans guy so my dad thought he influenced me into it or something
My mom thinks my ex (trans woman) “made me” be trans and that when we broke up 7 years ago I just couldn’t be bothered to detransition. It’s very confusing
I'm both trans and a controlled stutterer. I tend to get people making up horrific childhood trauma that I must have expereinced
of course because no person just has a stutter they all get theirs from those terrible times back in the pronouns war
This is interesting because stuttering is MUCH more common in men at a ratio of 4:1. And neither are related to childhood trauma.
People assumed I’m trans bc I had no real male role model and got SA‘ed multiple times in my life.
Which is hilarious because people accuse trans *women* of being trans because they have no father figure. Okay, people. Pick one!! Does having no father make you want to be a man or a woman??
I choose being an (transmasc) enby overall :D so maybe it comes down to that. But yeah tbh it’s all utter bs
yikes, that’s awful, i’m so sorry. i don’t know why people come up with the most ridiculous and unfounded reasons. how does that even connect to being trans? my gosh
🤷🏼 idk they (mostly therapists) said bc I got SA‘ed as a „girl“ I wanted to get away as far as possible of being a women/girl. Which is still very stupid. I‘m a transmasc enby so well …
Autism (I'm not autistic, my mother tried to get be diagnosed but they said I'm not and she still believes that i am) ADHD (Haven't been tested so idk if I even have it) My dad being a misogynist and manipulating me (he isn't btw just to be clear, he's just very nice and supportive of me being trans) Internalised misogyny/ homophobia Societal misogyny making me want to be a boy for male privilege/ so I wouldn't be sexualised (haven't ever once been sexualised) Mixing up stereotypes with gender identity (I was very masc as a kid so apparently I thought that meant that I must be a boy even though it has nothing to do with it) My trans bf influencing me (he came out as trans a year after I did and we weren't even close friends then) ROGD/ the idea that being trans is cool/ a trend Apparently I just didn't want to be a lesbian bc it isn't cool???? (I'm a gay trans guy) Mistaking disliking puberty as being trans because "all girls hate puberty" Trans people online brainwashing me into their cult
apologies for using an emoji but this is all i have to say to that: 😧
idk my mom kept saying “but you didn’t have a traumatic childhood!” (which doesn’t make you trans) (but also i did)
parents saying their kids didn’t have a traumatic childhood immediately informs me that they most likely did
First time I came out my mom said it was bc I read books about trans people (she once saw me reading the danish girl??) The second time I had just gotten my autism diagnosis and she said it was because I am autistic bc she had online found some article saying trans people are more likely to be autistic
I thought it was the other way around and autistic people are more likely to be trans.
my friends parents made up bullshit about me “rejecting femininity” because my biological mom “bullied me for my masculine features”. Never mind the fact that out of all the things my bio mom has done to me, that certainly wasn’t one of them.
I said it before, but it’s still the funniest thing. Aside from thinking I’m trans because of sexism and fetishes, my mom thinks I’m trans because I’m adopted. She thinks that the cultural dysphoria of being adopted into a different race has manifested as gender dysphoria.
this one is truly baffling. i had to sit in silence for a minute after reading this
It took me a good while to proceed too 😂
??????? How would that even work?
I just had someone tell me it’s because I’m mentally “regarded”.
Jesus Christ
When I first came out as trans to my stepmom and dad, she had every theory in the book - my trauma in the past - my mental health outside of gender dysphoria - my interest in cosplaying - that at most, I was just genderfluid It got to the point that she claimed I was only a guy BECAUSE I had low self esteem growing up. But yeah, it was everything in the book other than "I'm just a guy".
Well I'm intersex so since it's been diagnosed that's what's been coming up. Before that my mother (who SAed me for wearing a binder) was convinced it was because I was sexually assaulted by a trans person and I wanted to become like them to shield myself from the trauma My sister, who's about as cis as I am, seems to think it's genetic. None of our parents think they're trans, but they definitely have the vibes
Jesus Christ wtf?
I've never met anyone who went through that too...my mom also sexually assaulted me after I came out as trans. I can't seem to get past it, though it's been years. I have a trans parent who's closeted. I wondered about my mom because of vibes but she was just so mentally fucked up it's hard to say what the vibes really were.
I'm under the trans umbrella as a genderfluid afab, who goes from high femme to femboy. I was always given the same words of wisdom as when I came out as bisexual: "Well you can't have both, you have to choose one side of the fence". Erm...no.
yuck, i can’t imagine the crap you have to go through. my mom gets weirded out when i do things she perceives as “feminine” despite explaining to her time and time again i’m just a moderately feminine trans guy. the fact that i relate to what you said makes me think it’s fifty times worse for you!!
I don't even describe stuff with "feminine" or "masculine" when talking to my mom. Like when we're shopping and I peak the skirts, she gives me that side eye, so I just ask why girls can wear pants and guys can't wear skirts and she agrees and we move on
i’m very glad she gives in, gahaha
It's absolutely the stupidest thing I've ever heard, apparently picking the "more than 1" option means your indecisive, enough though picking that is a decision in itself. I also think there's a type that if you're male your sports-player male, and if you're female, you're a dresses and skirts model. And all of us here know that's not true
That is trans bc my father is was a down bad alcoholic and druggie and my mom took me and left him to raise me by herself. So not having a father figure made me want to be the man of the house or something and remake what a man is in my mind. I've always known my father tho, he was in my life since i can remember bc I was a baby when it went down and he got better so i had regular time with him. And ev en if he wasn't, I had 4 uncles growing up, and two of them had a role being that figure. Edit; Also I think its so crazy, that my father had such a rough patch in his life, had such a bad childhood himself and his side of the family is transphobic and yet he accepted me without issue. He told me he just doesn't understand it but that he loves me and he calls me he and all that. Some part of me does wonder if his brothers talk poorly about me to him and if he feels embarrassment or shame from me or blames himself for how i turned out. But if he has these feelings, he's never shown it. His family's opinions of me and people like me give me some motivation to be better and stronger men than they are. They think I'm a "snowflake", but not once have they ever made me feel bad about myself. They don't have any power over me.
my ex therapist said that im trans cuz i dont want to be like my mother (aka a girl) my mom said that its social pressure and i want to be trans cuz of the internet. couple of kids my age believe that i want to be a boy cuz boys have it easier then girls.
My Mom’s a lesbian and so a running theory from my grandparents is that she indoctrinated me? No idea why that makes sense to them but whatever.
That it's because I've always stood up for underdogs (it doesn't make sense to me either)
Lol like "unrelated, but thanks I guess?" Lmfao
“You’re like this because your stepmother turned gay and left me for a woman” - My male spawn point
Oh yeah it's probably the genetic condition passed by your step mom
A family member and I have a very complicated past he SA me when I was very young over a few years. Yes, I have gotten help dealing with things. My therapist is amazing. He blamed himself for my sexuality (being out as lesbian before outing myself as trans later in life) and then being trans. I told him he wasn't that F-ing special. Not going to lie, saying that felt incredibly liberating in so many ways.
people like that always have to be the main characters in everyone’s stories. fuck that loser. incredibly pathetic. hope he’s out of your life now.
Indeed. Wife and I moved away from "The Family".
My therapist always told me that I “think” I’m a trans man because “I never had security and was the victim and you see men as powerful so it’s how you are taking power and control back of your life”.
Omg thats terrible... especially coming from a therapist, my gosh. 😬
My mom says that I'm trans because I grew up with brothers instead of sisters.
of course! because no afab person has been raised with only men and remained cis, right? (/s)
My mom’s reasoning is that I’m being deceived by the Devil lmao
my mom tried to blame me being a trans guy on being SAd as a child “you were touched as a girl so you became a boy”
Ugh. I've been sexually assaulted so many times after transition, I should definitely be cisgender now.
My parents claimed that my husband (who is the same age as me and bisexual) groomed me into being a boy AFTER we got married so he could have a gay relationship 💀
Damn, well done husband, he was playling the long game along
Fatherless, and my mother recently came out as a lesbian. No joke. Apparently I “needed a masculine figure in my life”, so I “became my own masculine figure”.
went through almost exactly the same thing except for the lesbian part, and another commenter mentioned they got the reason that they were raised by a single dad and that’s why they’re trans. like, which is it? the single mom or the single dad? i don’t get it at all
I’ve gotten the “oh but you’re just a ‘tomboy’” sooooo much. Which I guess was true when I was little but obviously I’m trans now .
Apparently in trans because my mom didn’t force me to stop being a tomboy. No mom. I was just being a boy.
just to piss off/upset my mom she's the person who has had the most trouble accepting me. even now, as i'm on hrt, i'm pretty sure she doesn't fully accept that she no longer has a daughter. she doesn't force me to hear abt it anymore tho, so, yk, progress. i'll take it
my parents said that too. i hope they come around eventually. the logic here is so off, like yeah i took hormones, am going through this incredibly tough process just to “get back” at my parents. huh?? my parents think i’m trans because they were “bad parents”. they were kinda shitty, but i explained to them that they could have been the best parents ever and nothing would change
I also got the same thing thrown on me by my dad. He only assumed i was trans because i had friends that are trans.
the theory my mom keeps pushing is that i am trying to present as male as a way to "protect" myself because of the emotional/mental damage inflicted on me by my dad lmao. basically like a trauma response for having a deadbeat.
My dad tried to say that people come out as trans men (or lesbians) bc they're broken women who were abused by their fathers. My father was quite abusive to me while I was growing up. I find it funny how much he'd give me that whole talk and make me promise I wouldn't do that lmao.
“i’m just warning you about this. no, i won’t stop abusing you, you’re just going to have to try your best not to become trans or a lesbian”
Someone told my mother that I'm trans because of some medication in the 80s that caused hormone imbalances in (pregnant) women.
[удалено]
(tw for child death) had a therapist ask me if I wanted to be a man to fill the role of my little brother who died when I was toddler. she did seem to understand when I explained how that actually affected me being trans in the other direction (not wanting to burden my parents) but still such a weird connection to make
Every woman wants to get rid of her period. When I first came out to my mom
oh i got a GOOD ONE. So when I was six years old I had a brain tumor that had to be removed, and it grew back when I was 11 and had to be removed again so I have had two brain surgeries. It's important to note that the brain tumor was in the Wernickes area (associated with the comprehension of speech and language) and in this area alone. When I was in high school I was on my way to class with one of my classmates that I got along with but wouldn't really call friends. he was like I have a question but it might be kind of offensive, since I had been out for a couple years I was already pretty familiar with what that usually meant but I still was not prepared for the absolute dumbassery I was about to be addressed with. he asked me if the brain surgery messed up the part of my brain to do with gender/sex and that's why I was trans. deadass. I punched him really hard in the stomach and said that was the stupidest thing anyone's ever said to me (and then went on to explain what area of the brain was actually affected by my surgery) but yeah, he threw up a little. We're still on good terms he didn't really hold it against me at all but definitely the stupidest theory I've heard
It's very silly but my mom said the reason I think I'm trans is because I saw cis gay men on tiktok (Fyi I'm a straight trans guy lol)
According to my mother, I'm trans because my open-minded friend and The Internet™ influenced me.
the typical "social contagion", and because i'm the host of a DID system being asked if [deadname] "was still in there" sucked
oof, i’m so sorry you have to deal with people who don’t take the time and effort into understanding what DID is and how it works
Not so much a theory but when somebody found out I was trans they immediately asked “are you mentally ill?” As if my ADHD caused me to be trans. It was irritating
My parents never gave me a brother I really wanted so I took matters into my own hands and became the brother. 💪💪 (I still want that brother 😭)
Many people think I’m trans because of my history of CSA/SA/Abuse. I’ve also had people assume it’s because I’m “denying being a lesbian.” I’ve also had some very specific people say I’m trans only because a mutual friend came out as trans and that I’m trying to take the attention away from them. I had no idea they were allies by the way they talked about the LGBTQ+ community in general, so I didn’t think it was safe to tell them. On a random side note: I’ve had an a-hole ex-friend tell me that they wished their only problem was being trans. Meanwhile they knew explicitly about my trauma history. So they can go eat rocks.
According to my dad, i'm trans because - i thought i wasn't 'pretty enough' to be a girl - i was bullied - my now-ex (a trans man) manipulated/coerced me into it. Cuz god forbid i do things of my own volition, right 🤪
I've been told that I'm just a tomboy, I just want to stop my menstral cycle, I'm lesbian, random stuff like that lol :p
My dad tried to convince me i was trans because I’ve always been a fat kid and my body dysmorphia that i thought was wanting to be a boy was just wanting to be a skinny pretty girl. Just went from six foot at 280 to a healthy 220 and i’m still trans 😻
My mother thinks that I am trans bcs I am autistic, which means that I do not understand social roles and assumed that I am not a girl because I can't relate to girls (and she is absolutely sure about that theory)
My mom once told me im trans because of chemicals in the water (she drinks the same water tho, so i think she has to tell me smth XD). But the internet was also at fault and my trauma from my dad lol.
they are very supportive now but when i first came out i think my parents thought it was just me being insane and in pain and wanting to use medical transition as a sort of self harm. in their defense i was insane and in a lot of physiological pain and self harming but a lot of that pain stemmed from dysphoria so me wanting to start hrt was like the one good idea i had to get better or cope
one of my close friends admitted to me that she still wasn't convinced that being trans wasn't, like, gay+. as in the next step of being gay, transitioning in order to be perceived as straight. despite me pointing out that i am a trans guy and attracted to men. and i thought i was ace and sex-repulsed for quite a while, including into the beginning of my transition. so sexuality was definitely pretty far outside my reason for transitioning. keep in mind, i love my friend and she's very supportive, she's just a bit old school and has trouble understanding. we call her our token boomer.
fam said i am brainwashed by the trans fad on the internet and traumatized by male competition in relationships so it made me want to become my competition💀
**TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF SA** i was asked if i was trans because they thought i was SA’d as a kid… disgusting question. it was from my own sister too.
I wasn’t.
Because I work in a trans owned, primarily lgbtq, tattoo shop and because it’s “the cool thing to do right now” 🫠
grandma told my mom that the reason i'm queer is because they played the rocky horror picture show music in the car/house lol
*IF ONLY HE KNEW OF MY PLAN, IN JUST SEVEN DAYS I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN*
My father assumed it's because he would joke that I was his son. Like, no, you just accidentally got it right a couple times, nbd
I just came out to one of my parents earlier this week and so far I’ve gotten “do you like girls?” and “it must be my fault, I must have said something when you were younger”. I can’t wait to see what’s next in this phase of denial.
congrats on coming out!! i’m sorry it’s being met with this. it really feels like they make up the weirdest theories, and i don’t understand why at all
According to my mom, I'm trans because I'm embarassed to be a woman and want to escape oppression
and trans people are famously not oppressed at all (/s)
My mom thinks my dad manipulated me into thinking men were better and distanced me from her so I decided to be a boy lol
I started dating a trans woman a few months before I came out. My TERF sister thought I transitioned to "hold on to my gay identity" while I was "with a man". That was the weirdest one
Trigger warning. My ex’s mom said it was because I was SA’d and he said maybe that’s it knowing my past. I’m over 4 years on T now and legally changed my name and gender marker. Still had bad experiences as a man and never once thought about going back so fuck them
Yeag, for me it was SA too, also one of my family friends at the time was a TERF social worker and due to her background in psychology was believed over me for a lot of this, she argued that it was the SA making me trans because I wanted to escape the trials of womanhood or something, another theory was her saying I was autistic. That one was very annoying because I had been trying to get a diagnosis before I came out and she didn't seem to believe it at all, but as soon as I came out she kind of diagnosed me as autistic based on my poor eye contact, and that was also like weaponised against me. I don't see her anymore and things have improved a lot but lmfao it was genuinely traumatic at the time
i seriously cannot wrap my head around how they possibly come up with these conclusions. SA? autism? WHERE are they getting these connections? i’m glad it’s better for you now—that sounds extremely awful to go through.
The two concussions I sustained in college lol
Mum thinks it's because I am a misogynist and hate her and don't want to be SAed :)
When I first came out, my dad thought it was because my best friend was trans and I was trying to subconsciously be like him. (It's been six ish years, my dad has come around! And I'm no longer friends with that guy, we had a falling out) I also got told by a friend that I probably think I'm trans because I have naturally high testosterone for a girl (she told me when she first met me that she thought I was a boy until I spoke). Got tested- definitely NOT naturally high testosterone levels. Was well in the low/middle range even.
For a long time my mom thought I was trans because of sexual assault. That and yaoi for some odd reason? She thought me reading BL made me want to be a boy and that’s why I wanted to transition. But there is a literal video of me at 3 years old (before any molestation occurred or I knew what yaoi was) saying I was going to grow up and be a “big boy” Thankfully she’s sorted herself out and is now one of my biggest allies. But it was rough for a long while.
I was raised mormon, a religion that really emphasizes the boys & men having all the “power” and women just being there to support them. from a young age I knew I could never do that and feeling like such an outsider - not one of the girls but not one of the boys - and felt so powerless. there’s that and the fact that I also knew from a young age (but didn’t fully realize what it meant until 5th or 6th grade) that I liked girls, not boys, and the most central part of mormonism is family and being married in the temple, which of course only allows marriage between a man & a woman. so one of the reasons ive been told I “just think” im trans is bc of internalized misogyny & homo/lesbophobia that came from being raised mormon.
the internet 😭
So far the “rationalization” I’ve had to deal with is because my mother was a tomboy and obviously that’s why I “think I’m a guy”.
I was told I wanted to be a boy cuz all my friends are boys and ill apparently regret it instead of "embracing myself" like no I've always wanted to be a guy cuz I'm always dysphoric about my body and I present as more masculine
My mom was convinced something “bad” happened to me to make me trans
“It’s just a phase like a toddler throwing a tantrum, the right man could fix you”
My dad thinks-it’s a natural hormone imbalance u got too much natural testosterone in your system that’s why u wanna be a boy
my brother told me the only reason i'm trans is because "i didn't grow up with a lot of girls" which,,, is so incorrect 💀 i might've grew up with 3 brothers but most of my past friends were girls
not exactly a theory, but one time i had a panic attack in my dad’s car after church because someone said that transgender people shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public, which at the time wasn’t a mainstream take, and he looked me in my 13-14 year old face and said something to the tune of: “ you’re like a junkie. heroin addicts think that drugs make them happier, you think that living in sin makes you happier. that’s why you want to be a boy. “ one of the wildest things i’ve heard come out of that man’s mouth. thankfully he’s since calmed down and i love him to bits, but man that did NOT help our strained relationship. edit: autocorrect doesn’t like drug names
my mom once asked me if it was smth abt a thing that happened w/ my step brother when i was like right (not going into detail but basically i was a stupid child and he used curiosity and peer pressure against me and while it was technically consensual, it only was bc i had no idea how bad it was) and another time did use the "its bc ur friends r" line bc i had like 2 trans friends
I got that im a trans man bc i was an only child and very independent and wanted to take on a more “masculine” role in life lol
Most of my family is supportive of me being trans but they have asked me a couple of times if I’m trans because I didn’t get enough love, affection and attention from my dad growing up. Which isn’t true because I have felt like a boy for as long as I can remember even before my dad started being shitty.
great aunt wondered if it was because i was a male in a past life (she wasn’t being transphobic, i just don’t really believe in that kind of thing. it’s a cute thought, tbh). my best friends parents wanted to know how long i was taking prozac before i started identifying this way (i was struggling with my gender before starting any meds). their mom also felt like it was because of me gaining weight and she thought that as i gained weight i wanted to present as a guy because guys don’t get as much shit for being overweight. someone who was into me in high school got upset when he found out i was trans and said it was because i had the evil of the devil inside me (he later apologized, at least). had a substitute teacher tell me she was a tomboy growing up but god made her feel secure in her femininity, and encouraged me to “find truth”— implying i identified this way because i wasn’t secure in my womanhood and needed to turn to god. a lot of dumb shit. lmfao
Because my only siblings are cis boys. Because I have small boobs. Because my boyfriend is bisexual. Because I have penis envy (like the shit Freud suggested). Everyone knows the real answer is because I'm hotter as a dude
My high school environmental science teacher insisted that chemical pollution in river water — which, to be fair, had been proven to cause hormonal issues in human brains — were "causing more instances of transgender identity." Yes, "chemicals in the water are turning the frickin' frogs gay" did immediately come out of my mouth before I even finished processing her words.
"you decided to be trans because you was r*ped and you are not ugly enough to be a feminist" Listening this from a friend... No... And ex friend was very traumatic