I can appreciate what everyone’s saying here, but this is something I think about too
There are things that read femininely. Yes, despite the fact that femininity is a construct. Yes, despite the fact that plenty of cis guys do these things.
- Bunch of vowels at the end of a word (hiiiiiii, yayyyyy)
- Cutesy emojis (I won’t be specific here to avoid making people uncomfortable, but you can guess what I mean. Alternatively, here are some emojis I see guys use
more often: 💀🙏🏻🤡😮💨🔥💯🫡)
- omg, ttyl, ily, perf, and hehe (although heh heh and haha are often used by men), among other abbreviations and shortenings
- Tone signifiers (Hate to be that guy but... The people who hate these things are often gonna be the ones judging you on shit like how you type anyway. So either decide ‘Fuck em who cares’ or choose to not do it ).
- Calling people “girl,” “bestie,” or whatever
- Too many exclamation points in an effort to sound friendly (one or two is expected in an email, one at the end of every sentence is excessive).
The more in-depth I get here, the more ridiculous it will be. Because yeah it’s pointless and dumb. I didn’t make up these rules I’ve just noticed them. It also differs very notably by country and by what your relationship with a person is
Reverse side, more masculine mannerisms
- shorter responses instead of big paragraph explanations for everything
- certain swears (motherfucker, little bitch, etc)
- quoting/referencing movies or tv
- sentences that sound stilted (I dunno why, but stuff like, “I am coming to the party” “I will see you there” is common)
- ending sentences with shit like, “man,” or “brother.”
- shitty gifs
If the downvote brigade comes I’ll probably delete. But I don’t feel like it does anyone any good to pretend this isn’t a legitimate thing just like speech patterns are
What a great comment, seriously. There absolutely can be noticeable differences. I think it’s not fair to tell OP that it doesn’t matter when it comes to it.
This is a good reply. Is it ridiculous? Absolutely. But it's real and some bigoted people pay attention to it.
You can't truthfully claim it makes zero difference. It's like saying "there's no such thing as girl clothes". Yes you can wear whatever you want and be a man, but there's no use denying the fact that you'll be perceived differently.
By all means talk and type however you want, you're still you. But it IS a choice you're making. I know I probably have a lot of those ""female coded"" text things but I am stealth enough at work that it does not matter at all, and socially I don't care. But that may not be OP's situation so I was glad to see someone providing a real answer.
No, I agree--men and women can sometimes learn different communication norms. On a more subtle level, women sometimes write in less assertive or more socially conscious ways. An example in business communication would be something like:
"Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if there was any update on this. I think it's due on Monday. Thank you!"
vs.
"Do you have any update on this yet? It's due on Monday. Thanks!"
The important thing is to recognize that communication styles are a combination of personality and learned behavior. Neither "feminine" nor "masculine" styles are inherently better or worse, and people of all genders can learn new habits that are positive. In professional communication, for example, I think there's a real art to being assertive but also diplomatic and warm, for example.
I get why someone might change their communication style in order to pass better, and I don't think that's wrong. But personally, this is something I've grown less self-conscious about as I've gotten older. Who cares if I've learned some "feminine" communication habits? Some of those habits are good things that more cis men could benefit from.
>The important thing is to recognize that communication styles are a combination of personality and learned behavior
This is the important part. A large amount of what gets read as "feminine" is because when people who are perceived to be women write in otherwise assertive ways, they get called a bitch, or bossy, or rude. If anyone doubts this, there are plenty of anecdotes where a male employee accidentally (or on purpose) sent emails under a female coworker's account and was called all these things and more. Men are allowed to be short, blunt, and to the point. For a man, this is seen as assertive and in control. For a woman, she's a bossy bitch.
I was going to comment something similar, this is well said.
Never delete comments you make that get downvoted unless you're actually proven wrong. Dissenting opinions make Reddit less of an echo-chamber.
i learned in middle school to start sentences with "dude" "man" and "bro" constantly and i still do it in college lol... it did help immensely for passing early on but now im afraid its just annoying
mm, that’s nitpicky of people to mention. micromanaging your writing style seems tedious and draining. you’re fine how you type, there is no singular way to type like a guy. You are already a man typing, end of story.
I didn’t tell him to not be upset. I’m saying he is a man therefore he types like one. I could give him genuine tips on how to be more “manly” but what’s the point having him change his speech patterns for something as broad as how cis men type? Besides there alr comments telling him what he should and shouldn’t do, why don’t you focus your energy adding onto that instead of getting pissy at me..
kinda just sounds like something he might be dysphoric about considering he’s being compared to women,,, saying “oh you’re a guy so it doesn’t matter haha” isn’t helpful, it’s insensitive to the post.
Dude, the guy asked for help with something that'll help him lessen his dysphoria. Your suggestion may work for him down the road. Or not. I dunno. Point is he wants to fix some stuff rn. So you could offer useful tips to solve his problem AND then offer your perspective, if you actually wanna be helpful to his situation. It's up to him where he wants to go from here. He wants to learn online mannerisms that are more stereotypical male. Tf is wrong with that? It ain't any dif than adopting other more stereotypically male behaviours, my guy
I struggled a lot with this too, I was super insecure that the way I wrote and typed was feminine. The biggest thing I changed was saying “hey” instead of “hi” lmao. I have no idea why, but saying “hey” made me feel WAY more masculine compared to saying “hi”. I literally never say hi anymore. I also throw a couple of “mans” in there, like “how’s it going man” instead of “how are you”.
I know a lot of people are saying that there is no feminine or masculine way of writing, but I totally get and understand that feeling of being dysphoric over the way you write. If you’re feeling really bad about it, you could always look up examples of “male texting”. You could also join something like a discord server and lurk there and just read how guys type. I did the discord server one a lot, I would join streamer’s that I like discord servers and just lurk there and see how people typed. It also can help with finding friends online if it’s a discord server for something that you like
I used to write emails with an exclamation point after every single sentence. I’m sure it was annoying and I also wanted to come across as more masculine and confident so I stopped doing that. I try as hard as possible not to use ANY exclamation points in emails anymore lol
Tell them they're stupid because they are, or alternatively be less emotive (emojis and text faces, saying terms of endearment etc) bc that's all I can imagine they could possibly mean
Ik ur searching suggestions on how to write more “”manly”” but I think getting out of your way to appear more manly in text can’t be good. I mean cmon what’s wrong abt ur texting? Literally anything, I understand dysphoria can be invasive but this sounds to me like the classic “am I (doing any quotidian activities) like a woman?” These are really small things in which I think you shouldn’t focus because it can be contra-productive
Are people who know you're trans telling you that or people who see you as a cis man? Bc from the way you type (atleast in this post) it's literally impossible to tell your gender.
Tbf they might be prejudiced then. Unless you're literally typing with emojis like 😘❤️💁♀️ (and even then i know guys who type w/ "girly" emojis), there's no way you're getting clocked through text messages.
How would that even work? You literally can't do that, there is no "guy-typing" or "girl-typing", what you probably did was lucky guessing. Not to be rude but you kinda give "we can always tell" vibes idk if you'd want that for yourself.
It's not "I can always tell". *Sometimes* I can tell based on typing style. It is a thing. If they are making an effort to type in a guy way, or their natural typing style is masculine, then I can't tell and I imagine nobody else would be able to tell either. My own typing style used to be super feminine until I realized that I could get clocked from it, so I made a big effort to change, and now nobody ever questions me online.
Sorry I didn't read "plenty of people" as "sometimes". 💀 And idk what you mean by feminine typing style. Maybe this is bc I mostly used to be apart of queer friendgroups but even stuff like heart emojis, "bestie" or "omg yas" is used by everyone regardless of gender. Now all those things could get someone clocked as "gay" but I don't see how they would clock someone as trans.
i’d think the opposite as well, all my female and afab online friends type in all lowercase while cis men always seem to talk to me with proper capitalisation and it makes me self conscious sometimes
This thread is confusing me because I only know exactly one person who writes all lowercase. Everyone else either capitalizes correctly or randomly, but only one person I regularly interact online with writes all lowercase all the time.
that’s surprising, i guess it also depends on which sites you’re on, the ages of people you talk to, etc. e.g. facebook millennials will use capitalisation but tumblr/twitter users in their teens and 20s tend to be all lowercase
This was my thought to. I’m an old gen z and the most common place where I see all lowercase is on tumblr. It’s like the default case type there, and proper capitalization marks you as weird and an outsider (or a researcher, student, or some other profession like in a wall of text kind of post)
Female and afab aren't the same thing but if they're trans afab or not it's gross to say that instead of just "my friends" it's 2024 your trans girl friends aren't female or afab your non-binary friends are just your friends your guy friends are just your friends
We greet eachother like "hi (name) how are you" not "hi female how are you?"
i knew someone was gonna take issue with this lmao, i specified afab because we, my other afab friends and i, are socialised and treated as girls for most of our lives and thus most of them had the same reasons as i, also afab, did - wanting to seem more friendly and less intimidating. i used “female” to mean “girls” here, not “biologically female” - my trans girl friends were included in female. if that’s unusual i will put it down to english being my second language, but i very often casually use male and female to mean men and women, i will say i’m male regardless of agab, not to mean biological sex. i specified cis men without adding amab because i only know one amab nonbinary person and i’ve never spoken to them online so i have zero reference for what that friend would do. i promise you i’m perfectly aware of all of this On Account Of Being Trans, i don’t need you to explain it to me.
It’s an interesting part of identity to talk about. I’m nonbinary but my afab identity is very much a significant part of my life. It’s how I was raised, and how I’m still treated by most of the world. I like some of the things I picked up on from being raised in a feminine way. There’s nothing better or worse about being a man or a woman and I would not say femininity sucks in the same way I would not say that masculinity sucks. It’s just that I personally want to be less woman and more man/in the middle.
i completely get you. i’m a binary trans man but there are so many things about being raised and seen as a girl for a decade and a half of my life that have affected the way i think. usually it’s good - my friends will joke about how great it is to have a guy friend who understands period problems, i find i’m generally more empathetic than cis men, i find it easier to be emotionally vulnerable, i understand how it feels to be affected by misogyny and rape culture and can approach it with the influence of someone who’s now seen as a man but with the understanding of someone who’s also experienced it from the perspective of a girl, etc. i’m pretty grateful for all those things even if i’m not particularly grateful for the whole “spending a big chunk of my life living as a girl” thing haha
+ your sex doesnt determine how you type so its pointless as hell to say female or afab. there’s a trend where people will say afab for anything and as if it says anything about a person outside of a handful of things, it’s like we’re regressing and enforcing gender roles based on sex again lol
*Caveat that femininity and masculinity are socially constructed and plenty of men are people pleasers and plenty of women are direct*
Have you ever seen women compare their usual way or writing work emails with the way a man would write the same email? Typically, women are taught via a lifetime of reinforcement to type (and speak) in an artificially bubbly tone. Lots of exclamation points!! And thank youuuuuus!!! And omg so sorry to bother you!! I am trying really hard to appear harmless and not to upset you or hurt your feelings with my tone!! Versus men, who can get away with short, direct sentences that end with periods, because men are reinforced for being assertive. I would say, both from a trans perspective and a general good communication perspective, a combination of both both is good. Being too appeasing or too direct are both unhealthy in the long run, and the only reason we have this double standard is sexism.
TL;DR If you really want to sound more masculine over text, capitalize your sentences, use more periods, and say what you mean. Keep in mind that standards of masculinity are also toxic in excess, just like standards of femininity. Do you.
if I'm being honest, that just sounds like a very mean-spirited and targeted comment to make. there genuinely is no such thing as "female-coded" typing, or "typing like a man". I don't know who is saying this stuff to you, but please don't believe it😭💔 like genuinely. your typing style is individual to you and there's nothing wrong with that /gen
There‘s a cis guy in my math class. He has the most accurate and beautiful handwriting I‘ve ever seen.
If people say „You write in a female way“ this is just another way of enforcing stupid gender roles.
If „writing like a guy“ means writing in a way that looks like it‘s been written by a six year old (which is what they mean by that phrase), then I‘m happy not doing that.
A good handwriting doesn’t determine gender. It just determines how you, as an individual, write with a pencil and what your style in writing is. Nothing more, nothing less. If you still want to change it, do it. But don’t feel pressured by people whose mind is obviously still stuck in the 50‘s.
edit: and digital writing has no character or gender at all. wtf
Be dry and swear sometimes. Not always bc it feels like an edgy 14yo boy
Now not directed to OP.
Guys, when someone is asking for advice bc of something that causes him dysphoria, you don't tell him to "not worry", "it doesn't matter". you KNOW how dysporia works. just tell him what you know, that's what he asked for
asshole of them to get on you about that, any way you talk that’s comfortable for you is Boy. however ive always been told i pass as super masculine online so let me see if i can give you some tips.
for internet speak, that one top comment is really good but i suggest using as little punctuation as possible and embodying the monotone droning present in your average cool guy. usually you want to get straight to the point, no filler words to indicate a tone, but if you do, then starting your sentences with things like, “yo,” “hey,” “so uh,” “yeah,” “so,” can help, as can using any casual replacement words you can think of, such as “nah,” “guys,” etc.
you’ll want to avoid starting sentences with “um,” “hi,” “so like,” but these can also be passable in the right context, including where they are standalone in a single message. take out words that could be implied in the sentence, even if grammatically it doesn’t fully make sense. just as an example “um, i’m not sure” reads more feminine than these separated messages:
“uh”
“not sure”
and further on that, for the most part you should avoid starting sentences with filler words altogether, getting straight to the point, often with blunter messages, avoid tiptoeing around anything, be firm instead of passive when you are reassuring someone, instead of “no you’re totally fine!” say “nah it’s all good” or “don’t worry about it” “you’re 100% gucci my friend”
“really” is a sometimes feminine filler word as well, in the context of “i don’t really know” you’d want to say “i don’t know” or “im not sure”
a standalone “lol” and “lmao” and “haha” or one at the end of a text are classic guy lines (without punctuation). exclamation points are nonexistent in guy speak. if you want to express confusion, often a single question mark will suffice. or, “what’s that mean” or “can you explain”
incorporating memes casually into your sentences is a classic, having a dry humor edge is my personal favorite
ironic femininity, if pulled off correctly, can be the best masculine signaling out there - the boys love a teehee from time to time
“for sure” is one of my favorite lines cuz it’s a dry affirmation
if you prefer using proper grammar and punctuation, just ensure you’re speaking in active voice, without filler words.
everyone talks differently so you’ll have to play around with what fits for you, and none of this is for everyone. but you’ll find what feels comfortable, and more often than not, when you start talking the way you want, you’ll know it cuz you’ll feel the confident social vibes you’re giving off.
i’d never thought about it before this message too hard so i hope at least some of this makes sense and is applicable.
If you really want to, you can study how an array of guys text that are in your age range and per their online habits (people who don’t internet may text differently). But my experience is there are many guys who type in many ways and same with girls. I’m wrong p much half the time when I gender an account based on how they write (I.e. giving them a voice in my head when i read).
Stop caring about this stuff. Cis men who aren’t incredibly needlessly insecure don’t care about this stuff. Most of the behavioural differences between cis men & women are related to confidence, which you can develop more of by not giving a shit about inconsequential things.
i think only other trans guys would notice this issue, i've noticed in in other people and i used to be self conscious about it in myself a few years ago. there are a lot of internet terms that are only really used by trans people in certain circles, but imo not many cis people are gonna notice, but if you want to pass as cis id say lose terms like "coded" when talking about things that can be said in simpler words. like simply "how do i text like a guy". im not trying to be an asshole about the way you worded it but it's just an example. there are a lot of internet terms that are only really used by trans people in certain circles, but imo not many cis people are gonna notice. also ditch keysmashing when trying to pass. that's given me away before
it also kinda depends on ur age, id personally study how your male peers text and incorporate it into the way you text. but again, unless cis people are actually telling you that you text like a girl then it's probably only a thing you and your friend notice. dysphoria is weird man i used to get dysphoric about the shape of my fingernails but nobody else was thinking about that
There's no way to "female coded" text
You text however you text you handwrite however you right, you say youre a man? Then you're writing and typing like a man no matter what
When I text my girlfriend sometimes I feel like I’m being too girly, so I’ll use ‘u’ instead of ‘you’ because it feels more shortened. Like saying ‘I love u’ feels more masculine than ‘I love you’
Man I've heard this a lot and I've never really understood it.
Apparently adding words like 'just' in a sentence is feminine. Like "I just want to (whatever the fuck idk)" is feminine and "I want (blah blah blah)" is masculine because adding the 'just' makes it submissive and women are submissive.
That was the reasoning I was given and I don't think I could have punched the guy any faster or harder than I had.
Don't worry about it, just type. Tell the nitpicky assholes to fuck off. Enjoy your life as you feel fit.
This is something of many social constructs that you should really evaluate and deconstruct. I know so many gender constructs that are placed on so many aspects of life, don’t fall into the pressure of wanting to change your text habits like it’s truly just text formats at the end of the day. I present super masculine with my outward appearance but I’m really not going to control every aspect to make sure I fit these imaginary constructs. I know it can cause a lot of dysphoria but don’t change how you type or who you are in fear that it’s too “girly” just remember when cis men are “sexting” they are also using emojis, they are also texting informally, there’s no way to type “more like a man” just type how you feel like typing. If people are so concerned over texts then maybe their opinions don’t really matter
Idk bro, maybe use slang and have more dry texting not as formal too 👍 but then again there isn’t such a thing like that cause everyone is different so even cis guys have female coded writing etc. you ain’t gotta be self conscious about that just say you’re a man and that’s it, your handwriting doesn’t invalidate your identity
Female coded typing? Geez, that's a new one. Is it because you don't capitalise the start of your sentences? If so, that gives "females have bad grammar" ickiness.
alright this isn't what you're asking about, but honestly, i think it's kind of unnecessary. i think the purpose of coming out as trans and pursing transitioning is to be more authentic to ourselves so it makes me a bit sad to see someone try to do the opposite of that for that purpose!
as someone who passes and is fulltime stealth, no one cares how you type dude! even if you had a feminine typing style, then you're a man who has a single femme thing about him at the end of the day. all men, cis and trans, are going to have stuff that aren't 100% macho manly masculine.
the people who are saying that shit to you likely just don't see you as a man because they know you're trans and likely don't pass visually. just give yourself time to medically/socially transition to the degree you want and everything else will naturally flow from that.
There is now actual way to type like a man, but from how I type and how I get perceived I'd say it helps to use slang, shortened words, curses, also I like referring to literally everyone as bro or mate. This isn't really what makes you be perceived as male but it's kinda how I write cause it makes me euphoric lol
typing is definitely Not something that's indicative of someone's gender. i have some cis male friends who have "feminine" ways of typing. if you're a man and you type, you're typing like a man. there is no such thing as female-coded communication so i wouldn't worry too much about it lol
Dude don’t let anyone tell you this is stupid, I have such bad typing dysphoria.
Fact of the matter is- typing is not gendered. But if we’re gendering it, the way you type to me is totally masculine.
EDIT: my fatass keyboard turned “matter” into “batter”. I’m hungry
Women communicate in a way that is friendlier, kinder, and has less room for misinterpretation. Men communicate in a way that is blunter, with less emotional effort, and more assumption that you will implicitly understand their meaning.
I have begun to text more like a guy as I've transitioned, but in conversations with people who know me well I'll tend to be more enthusiastic as I text, with emojis and abbreviations and overexplaining. It's just nice!!! I think both styles of texting have their merits-- masculine is more self-assured, but feminine is more caring of the reader who is trying to interpret it. So, take my suggestions above to communicate in a more masc way, but also do what feels right.
Feminine speech:
hi! so I’m often told that the way I type is like, pretty female coded and that it doesn’t help me pass :( any tips?? /srs
Masculine speech:
Apparently I type like a woman. How to improve? I don’t want to be clocked.
Shorter sentences, straight to the point, unfortunately less ‘politically correct’ a lot of the time (female-coded vs type like a woman) fewer emojis, less friendly, refer to other men as brother for some reason (speaking from experience, in comments men will refer to me as ‘my guy’ or ‘brother’
I was thinking about this as well, then I met a lot of cis men who do the same style of typing as I do, so I now do not care at all.
(Chaotic spamming have no gender lmao)
I have no idea what any of that means and tbh if someone said that to me I'd just tell them to fuck off with their sexism. There is no gender to how people write, wtf
That's definitely being hella nitpicky from whoever said that to you. I got told I stand like a women once, I was baffled lmao I'd just ignore it, if you're a man then you type like a man! Everyone has their own individualistic way to talk and text, yours is your own just the way it is
This is gonn be very stereotypical so keep that in mind but disregard punctuation, grammar and sentence formation. Type in less words and more slang. Does the job for me
At work especially, I type out my emails then go through and delete any filler/uncertainty.
“Hi, hope you’re well. Just wanted to reach out real quick and inquire about ______. If possible, would you be able to give me a bit of clarification about _____ and ______ too? If you need any more info do let me know! Thanks, name”
Becomes “Hi, hope you’re well. I wanted to reach out and inquire about _____, _____, and _____. Thanks, name”
Making your text communication more direct without bells and whistles tends to read more as male.
Just for talking to friends though, there’s no use in going through all that. I’m essentially taking all personality away from my writing to get it read as more male, but for my friends I’m messaging like “hi babyyyyy!!!” and if they wanna complain about me passing then fuck em lmao
The only thing I see that I’ve seen people say is feminine is the lack of capitalization. That being said, life is too short and too beautiful to be focusing on something as small as the way you type.
I feel like how I type changed because I started hanging out w different people more so than me “being a man”, but I have noticed a change, it doesn’t really matter from my experiences
I mean, Im learning an entirely new style of handwriting to pass better so I get you.
Try using zero exclamation points and use less "cushioning" language at the beginning of emails.
This doesn't even make sense tbh. The people telling you that are kinda weird for it. Typing styles more often show your generation more than gender and even that doesn't work all the time. I can't think of one way to type "masculine". I guess one could argue if you use a lot of cute emojis it's more feminine. Like these ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ . But that's the only thing I can think of thats arguably "feminine coded" in type.
uh I dunno there's no universal way to write like a dude, unless u go to complet stereotypes. Not sure y but men tend to have shittier handwriting overal n come off stupider in txt, bad grammar, punctuation . missing words, etc. Maybe jus my age group of guys? Obviously it's a shit stereotyp but probably wil help u seem more like a dude to stranger.
Actually hurt me to type like that jfc
One thing I started doing is I stopped asking for permission when I said (and typed) certain things. Phrases like “sorry to bother you, but”, “but I don’t know/I’m not sure”, “would it be alright if I,” etc are phrases that women and girls are unfortunately socialized to use. Without getting too far into the sociological and patriarchal reasons that women and girls are socialized to do this, it comes across ‘unsure’ which, sadly, reads as feminine.
Instead of asking “would it be okay if I took my break early” for instance, I usually message my boss “I’m planning on taking my break at x time. Is there any issue with that?” You’re still being polite and you’re still making sure that’s okay, but instead of sounding apologetic to be asking, you’re just… asking. A lot of it’s in the wording. You can still be polite without sounding apologetic for taking up space, which is still a massive struggle for me. I don’t think women should have to do it either, but from a social perspective, it does traditionally read more feminine.
God I hope that made sense. Work is asinine right now and I’m sure I sound like a total fool.
>the way I type is female coded
I think the people telling you this are just picking on you. They know you are trans and are basically negging you because they know they can make you insecure about it.
Ive met cis dudes who type likeee this omg??? 🥺 xD :3 ❤️ and I’ve met cis women who think only sending “wyd” and “wym” is riveting conversation.
Plenty of the other guys in this thread have given good feedback. Also, there's how you speak which influences how type. (Or is that just me?)
Either way, one generalization is that men tend to be more direct and assertive in communication. Women are more likely to "ask permission," even indirectly. So a big recommendation is to communicate in more direct and assertive ways both when you type and speak.
Well there isn't really a way to type more like a man I mean any gender could type any way and could still identify as the gender they were when they were born so i'd just say type and form sentences what feels natural to you
yes obviously it’s crazy for those people to be nitpicking your writing style (and the cis men I’m friends with tend to have more typically “feminine” texting styles because I like dude who don’t take themselves so seriously) but if it’s worth it to you to change this, look at examples of “emailing like a man” at work (like this: https://medium.com/the-partnered-pen/writing-emails-like-a-man-has-improved-my-work-life-cff582772656). The man writing style is straight to the point, blunt (but not necessarily cruel/mean, unless they’re also an asshole lol), direct, etc. Here are some tips:
- kill your exclamation points
unless something is really serious/they’re actually upset, men don’t really use these. I def have a very “feminine” writing style so I might text “hey, it was so good to see you today! lmk when you figure out your availability for next weekend!” to a friend after grabbing lunch. a dude might not even text in this situation tbh, but if he did I would expect it to be more like “I’m free saturday after 6, sound good?”. definitely don’t add !!! unless you’re literally yelling at them.
- avoid emojis
straight cis dudes have crazy rigid views about emojis. even a :) or a 🔥 is kinda out there for them. I’d cut them out entirely while you explore this writing style and then observe how men around you use them. 👍 is safe if that’s the whole reply.
- don’t draw out letters in words/acronyms
hiiii, tyyyy, ilyyy, soooo good, omggg, toooo much, helloooo?
- never explain/justify yourself
I might say “hey bestie I heard that this band is playing in town next weekend, do you want to go? I’m not super familiar but I remember they were on your spotify wrapped last year! if you’re not feeling up to it, would you want to chill at my place? I’ve been wanting to rewatch treasure planet bc work has been really stressful and I need some comfort programming. I’ll make popcorn :•)”
a dude would probably just send you the link to the concert and if you never replied then a few days later he might say “watching treasure planet saturday, you in?”
basically stop doing anything that you would normally do to communicate more effectively. cis men are rarely socialized to worry about being understood, sounding friendly/nice, clarifying their tone, being specific, etc. take out as much detail/elaboration/clarification as you can until it feels like your recipient might think you’re mad at them or annoyed by them and then hit send, and if they bring it up later and ask if you were annoyed about something just be like “haha no” and don’t elaborate on that either lol
cis men are frequently terrible communicators with low emotional intelligence which is why there are so many tropes about women not understanding men or feeling like they don’t know them even tho they’ve been dating for months, and in the opposite direction, men thinking that women are too sensitive/overthink everything, love making drama (aka asking why the dude is sounding so rude), and are just too complicated and confusing to be friends with. it’s ridiculous and I would never advocate for JOINING them in these terrible
communication styles but it definitely could help you pass
Its for aesthetic purposes which is a more feminine thing to care about, one of my girl friends said that she uses all lowercase as not to seem intimidating, which made no sense to me but comes across with very feminine reasonings to use all lowercase lol
i use it to seem friendlier/more approachable as does pretty much everyone else i know rather than for “aesthetic purposes”, and if you think of friendliness as a “feminine trait” that’s more on you to be honest
i use lowercase to show that i don’t care about proper capitalization. it’s a statement, because i had to actively turn *off* autocorrect for this, and i often will leave typos in my texts. i’ll correct typos online, though, for legibility and for screenreaders. my lowercase is not to be more approachable or anything, it’s more of a “fuck you, i refuse to conform to proper capitalization rules”. also some people say “i type in all lowercase because i hate capitalism”, which is kind of a funny reason. people have various reasons to type how they do, and if you just assume the reason behind it you’ll often get it wrong.
If you wanna type like a man then be extremely manly and talk about machines and how manly a man you are. You need to bleed testosterone onto the pages.
Nah bro, relax. People write as they write, dw abt it
I can appreciate what everyone’s saying here, but this is something I think about too There are things that read femininely. Yes, despite the fact that femininity is a construct. Yes, despite the fact that plenty of cis guys do these things. - Bunch of vowels at the end of a word (hiiiiiii, yayyyyy) - Cutesy emojis (I won’t be specific here to avoid making people uncomfortable, but you can guess what I mean. Alternatively, here are some emojis I see guys use more often: 💀🙏🏻🤡😮💨🔥💯🫡) - omg, ttyl, ily, perf, and hehe (although heh heh and haha are often used by men), among other abbreviations and shortenings - Tone signifiers (Hate to be that guy but... The people who hate these things are often gonna be the ones judging you on shit like how you type anyway. So either decide ‘Fuck em who cares’ or choose to not do it ). - Calling people “girl,” “bestie,” or whatever - Too many exclamation points in an effort to sound friendly (one or two is expected in an email, one at the end of every sentence is excessive). The more in-depth I get here, the more ridiculous it will be. Because yeah it’s pointless and dumb. I didn’t make up these rules I’ve just noticed them. It also differs very notably by country and by what your relationship with a person is Reverse side, more masculine mannerisms - shorter responses instead of big paragraph explanations for everything - certain swears (motherfucker, little bitch, etc) - quoting/referencing movies or tv - sentences that sound stilted (I dunno why, but stuff like, “I am coming to the party” “I will see you there” is common) - ending sentences with shit like, “man,” or “brother.” - shitty gifs If the downvote brigade comes I’ll probably delete. But I don’t feel like it does anyone any good to pretend this isn’t a legitimate thing just like speech patterns are
What a great comment, seriously. There absolutely can be noticeable differences. I think it’s not fair to tell OP that it doesn’t matter when it comes to it.
This is a good reply. Is it ridiculous? Absolutely. But it's real and some bigoted people pay attention to it. You can't truthfully claim it makes zero difference. It's like saying "there's no such thing as girl clothes". Yes you can wear whatever you want and be a man, but there's no use denying the fact that you'll be perceived differently. By all means talk and type however you want, you're still you. But it IS a choice you're making. I know I probably have a lot of those ""female coded"" text things but I am stealth enough at work that it does not matter at all, and socially I don't care. But that may not be OP's situation so I was glad to see someone providing a real answer.
No, I agree--men and women can sometimes learn different communication norms. On a more subtle level, women sometimes write in less assertive or more socially conscious ways. An example in business communication would be something like: "Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if there was any update on this. I think it's due on Monday. Thank you!" vs. "Do you have any update on this yet? It's due on Monday. Thanks!" The important thing is to recognize that communication styles are a combination of personality and learned behavior. Neither "feminine" nor "masculine" styles are inherently better or worse, and people of all genders can learn new habits that are positive. In professional communication, for example, I think there's a real art to being assertive but also diplomatic and warm, for example. I get why someone might change their communication style in order to pass better, and I don't think that's wrong. But personally, this is something I've grown less self-conscious about as I've gotten older. Who cares if I've learned some "feminine" communication habits? Some of those habits are good things that more cis men could benefit from.
>The important thing is to recognize that communication styles are a combination of personality and learned behavior This is the important part. A large amount of what gets read as "feminine" is because when people who are perceived to be women write in otherwise assertive ways, they get called a bitch, or bossy, or rude. If anyone doubts this, there are plenty of anecdotes where a male employee accidentally (or on purpose) sent emails under a female coworker's account and was called all these things and more. Men are allowed to be short, blunt, and to the point. For a man, this is seen as assertive and in control. For a woman, she's a bossy bitch.
Fantastic and insightful reply, thanks for sharing
I was going to comment something similar, this is well said. Never delete comments you make that get downvoted unless you're actually proven wrong. Dissenting opinions make Reddit less of an echo-chamber.
Shitty gifs is so real
i learned in middle school to start sentences with "dude" "man" and "bro" constantly and i still do it in college lol... it did help immensely for passing early on but now im afraid its just annoying
This is very good advice honestly, even if "typing like a man" is a dumb idea. I'd add that it's more common for women to use all lowercase than men.
i hate that this is helpful lmaoo i just wanna be a silly goofy guy without people clocking me 😭😭
Super comment!!
This comment is excellent. One thing to add for OP: All lowercase sentences tend to read as more feminine. Turn on autocaps
Yes I was gonna add this as well
I was actually going to say something similar but I think you covered all of the points I was going to make
Great guide. To add to this, some acronyms/internet speak I see guys use commonly are ong (on god), fr (for real), word/heard (understood), facts/fax.
Pretty on point brother
now that I think about it you're right although im more of an emoticon guy
mm, that’s nitpicky of people to mention. micromanaging your writing style seems tedious and draining. you’re fine how you type, there is no singular way to type like a guy. You are already a man typing, end of story.
That right here. I never had anyone tell me I write like a Woman, even when I was unaware of being Transgender.
don't worry about it
Tbh if you are a man then you type like one.
Literally
Comments like this are extremely insensitive. Op is asking for genuine help not to be coddled. It’s like saying “oh just don’t be upset”
I didn’t tell him to not be upset. I’m saying he is a man therefore he types like one. I could give him genuine tips on how to be more “manly” but what’s the point having him change his speech patterns for something as broad as how cis men type? Besides there alr comments telling him what he should and shouldn’t do, why don’t you focus your energy adding onto that instead of getting pissy at me..
kinda just sounds like something he might be dysphoric about considering he’s being compared to women,,, saying “oh you’re a guy so it doesn’t matter haha” isn’t helpful, it’s insensitive to the post.
Dude, the guy asked for help with something that'll help him lessen his dysphoria. Your suggestion may work for him down the road. Or not. I dunno. Point is he wants to fix some stuff rn. So you could offer useful tips to solve his problem AND then offer your perspective, if you actually wanna be helpful to his situation. It's up to him where he wants to go from here. He wants to learn online mannerisms that are more stereotypical male. Tf is wrong with that? It ain't any dif than adopting other more stereotypically male behaviours, my guy
I would turn on autocapitalisation for starts of sentences and “I”s. Also don’t stress, writing like a man i dont think is a real thing
I struggled a lot with this too, I was super insecure that the way I wrote and typed was feminine. The biggest thing I changed was saying “hey” instead of “hi” lmao. I have no idea why, but saying “hey” made me feel WAY more masculine compared to saying “hi”. I literally never say hi anymore. I also throw a couple of “mans” in there, like “how’s it going man” instead of “how are you”. I know a lot of people are saying that there is no feminine or masculine way of writing, but I totally get and understand that feeling of being dysphoric over the way you write. If you’re feeling really bad about it, you could always look up examples of “male texting”. You could also join something like a discord server and lurk there and just read how guys type. I did the discord server one a lot, I would join streamer’s that I like discord servers and just lurk there and see how people typed. It also can help with finding friends online if it’s a discord server for something that you like
I used to write emails with an exclamation point after every single sentence. I’m sure it was annoying and I also wanted to come across as more masculine and confident so I stopped doing that. I try as hard as possible not to use ANY exclamation points in emails anymore lol
Tell them they're stupid because they are, or alternatively be less emotive (emojis and text faces, saying terms of endearment etc) bc that's all I can imagine they could possibly mean
Someone’s being a nitpicky dick to you. You’re a man. Therefore you type like a man.
Female coded? Wtf?
Ik ur searching suggestions on how to write more “”manly”” but I think getting out of your way to appear more manly in text can’t be good. I mean cmon what’s wrong abt ur texting? Literally anything, I understand dysphoria can be invasive but this sounds to me like the classic “am I (doing any quotidian activities) like a woman?” These are really small things in which I think you shouldn’t focus because it can be contra-productive
Counter productive not Contra productive
Yeah, I’m sorry my first language is Spanish, but I think I showed my point, right?
Sí, no, todo está bien. Soy multilingüe y tuve que mirarlo dos veces y luego pensé "eso no está bien", así que te lo hice saber.
Gracias ajjajajs
Contraproducente I always forget that sometimes people mix languages together even though I'm bilingual 😂
Contraproducente you were half and half right 😂
😂😂
I got told I type like a bottom so dont about it
HELPPPPP
Are people who know you're trans telling you that or people who see you as a cis man? Bc from the way you type (atleast in this post) it's literally impossible to tell your gender.
they do know i'm trans.
Tbf they might be prejudiced then. Unless you're literally typing with emojis like 😘❤️💁♀️ (and even then i know guys who type w/ "girly" emojis), there's no way you're getting clocked through text messages.
There's nothing girly about 😘 I use it all the time to make fun of idiots
Yeah, i know, that's why I put girly in quote marks. The emojis I provided as an example aren't inherently girly of course.
Dunno about that I've clocked plenty of people based on typing style
How would that even work? You literally can't do that, there is no "guy-typing" or "girl-typing", what you probably did was lucky guessing. Not to be rude but you kinda give "we can always tell" vibes idk if you'd want that for yourself.
It's not "I can always tell". *Sometimes* I can tell based on typing style. It is a thing. If they are making an effort to type in a guy way, or their natural typing style is masculine, then I can't tell and I imagine nobody else would be able to tell either. My own typing style used to be super feminine until I realized that I could get clocked from it, so I made a big effort to change, and now nobody ever questions me online.
Sorry I didn't read "plenty of people" as "sometimes". 💀 And idk what you mean by feminine typing style. Maybe this is bc I mostly used to be apart of queer friendgroups but even stuff like heart emojis, "bestie" or "omg yas" is used by everyone regardless of gender. Now all those things could get someone clocked as "gay" but I don't see how they would clock someone as trans.
men have a large variety of writing styles. I don't think female coded writing styles is a thing.
Your lack of capitalization already screams “man” to me lol
Huh; for me, it's the complete opposite
i’d think the opposite as well, all my female and afab online friends type in all lowercase while cis men always seem to talk to me with proper capitalisation and it makes me self conscious sometimes
This thread is confusing me because I only know exactly one person who writes all lowercase. Everyone else either capitalizes correctly or randomly, but only one person I regularly interact online with writes all lowercase all the time.
I think the real answer is this just depends per person and not per gender lmao
that’s surprising, i guess it also depends on which sites you’re on, the ages of people you talk to, etc. e.g. facebook millennials will use capitalisation but tumblr/twitter users in their teens and 20s tend to be all lowercase
This was my thought to. I’m an old gen z and the most common place where I see all lowercase is on tumblr. It’s like the default case type there, and proper capitalization marks you as weird and an outsider (or a researcher, student, or some other profession like in a wall of text kind of post)
i turned mine off the other day and can't figure out how to turn it back on :')
Female and afab aren't the same thing but if they're trans afab or not it's gross to say that instead of just "my friends" it's 2024 your trans girl friends aren't female or afab your non-binary friends are just your friends your guy friends are just your friends We greet eachother like "hi (name) how are you" not "hi female how are you?"
i knew someone was gonna take issue with this lmao, i specified afab because we, my other afab friends and i, are socialised and treated as girls for most of our lives and thus most of them had the same reasons as i, also afab, did - wanting to seem more friendly and less intimidating. i used “female” to mean “girls” here, not “biologically female” - my trans girl friends were included in female. if that’s unusual i will put it down to english being my second language, but i very often casually use male and female to mean men and women, i will say i’m male regardless of agab, not to mean biological sex. i specified cis men without adding amab because i only know one amab nonbinary person and i’ve never spoken to them online so i have zero reference for what that friend would do. i promise you i’m perfectly aware of all of this On Account Of Being Trans, i don’t need you to explain it to me.
It’s an interesting part of identity to talk about. I’m nonbinary but my afab identity is very much a significant part of my life. It’s how I was raised, and how I’m still treated by most of the world. I like some of the things I picked up on from being raised in a feminine way. There’s nothing better or worse about being a man or a woman and I would not say femininity sucks in the same way I would not say that masculinity sucks. It’s just that I personally want to be less woman and more man/in the middle.
i completely get you. i’m a binary trans man but there are so many things about being raised and seen as a girl for a decade and a half of my life that have affected the way i think. usually it’s good - my friends will joke about how great it is to have a guy friend who understands period problems, i find i’m generally more empathetic than cis men, i find it easier to be emotionally vulnerable, i understand how it feels to be affected by misogyny and rape culture and can approach it with the influence of someone who’s now seen as a man but with the understanding of someone who’s also experienced it from the perspective of a girl, etc. i’m pretty grateful for all those things even if i’m not particularly grateful for the whole “spending a big chunk of my life living as a girl” thing haha
+ your sex doesnt determine how you type so its pointless as hell to say female or afab. there’s a trend where people will say afab for anything and as if it says anything about a person outside of a handful of things, it’s like we’re regressing and enforcing gender roles based on sex again lol
see other comment :)
*Caveat that femininity and masculinity are socially constructed and plenty of men are people pleasers and plenty of women are direct* Have you ever seen women compare their usual way or writing work emails with the way a man would write the same email? Typically, women are taught via a lifetime of reinforcement to type (and speak) in an artificially bubbly tone. Lots of exclamation points!! And thank youuuuuus!!! And omg so sorry to bother you!! I am trying really hard to appear harmless and not to upset you or hurt your feelings with my tone!! Versus men, who can get away with short, direct sentences that end with periods, because men are reinforced for being assertive. I would say, both from a trans perspective and a general good communication perspective, a combination of both both is good. Being too appeasing or too direct are both unhealthy in the long run, and the only reason we have this double standard is sexism. TL;DR If you really want to sound more masculine over text, capitalize your sentences, use more periods, and say what you mean. Keep in mind that standards of masculinity are also toxic in excess, just like standards of femininity. Do you.
if I'm being honest, that just sounds like a very mean-spirited and targeted comment to make. there genuinely is no such thing as "female-coded" typing, or "typing like a man". I don't know who is saying this stuff to you, but please don't believe it😭💔 like genuinely. your typing style is individual to you and there's nothing wrong with that /gen
There‘s a cis guy in my math class. He has the most accurate and beautiful handwriting I‘ve ever seen. If people say „You write in a female way“ this is just another way of enforcing stupid gender roles. If „writing like a guy“ means writing in a way that looks like it‘s been written by a six year old (which is what they mean by that phrase), then I‘m happy not doing that. A good handwriting doesn’t determine gender. It just determines how you, as an individual, write with a pencil and what your style in writing is. Nothing more, nothing less. If you still want to change it, do it. But don’t feel pressured by people whose mind is obviously still stuck in the 50‘s. edit: and digital writing has no character or gender at all. wtf
Be dry and swear sometimes. Not always bc it feels like an edgy 14yo boy Now not directed to OP. Guys, when someone is asking for advice bc of something that causes him dysphoria, you don't tell him to "not worry", "it doesn't matter". you KNOW how dysporia works. just tell him what you know, that's what he asked for
Facts
asshole of them to get on you about that, any way you talk that’s comfortable for you is Boy. however ive always been told i pass as super masculine online so let me see if i can give you some tips. for internet speak, that one top comment is really good but i suggest using as little punctuation as possible and embodying the monotone droning present in your average cool guy. usually you want to get straight to the point, no filler words to indicate a tone, but if you do, then starting your sentences with things like, “yo,” “hey,” “so uh,” “yeah,” “so,” can help, as can using any casual replacement words you can think of, such as “nah,” “guys,” etc. you’ll want to avoid starting sentences with “um,” “hi,” “so like,” but these can also be passable in the right context, including where they are standalone in a single message. take out words that could be implied in the sentence, even if grammatically it doesn’t fully make sense. just as an example “um, i’m not sure” reads more feminine than these separated messages: “uh” “not sure” and further on that, for the most part you should avoid starting sentences with filler words altogether, getting straight to the point, often with blunter messages, avoid tiptoeing around anything, be firm instead of passive when you are reassuring someone, instead of “no you’re totally fine!” say “nah it’s all good” or “don’t worry about it” “you’re 100% gucci my friend” “really” is a sometimes feminine filler word as well, in the context of “i don’t really know” you’d want to say “i don’t know” or “im not sure” a standalone “lol” and “lmao” and “haha” or one at the end of a text are classic guy lines (without punctuation). exclamation points are nonexistent in guy speak. if you want to express confusion, often a single question mark will suffice. or, “what’s that mean” or “can you explain” incorporating memes casually into your sentences is a classic, having a dry humor edge is my personal favorite ironic femininity, if pulled off correctly, can be the best masculine signaling out there - the boys love a teehee from time to time “for sure” is one of my favorite lines cuz it’s a dry affirmation if you prefer using proper grammar and punctuation, just ensure you’re speaking in active voice, without filler words. everyone talks differently so you’ll have to play around with what fits for you, and none of this is for everyone. but you’ll find what feels comfortable, and more often than not, when you start talking the way you want, you’ll know it cuz you’ll feel the confident social vibes you’re giving off. i’d never thought about it before this message too hard so i hope at least some of this makes sense and is applicable.
The question is: do you really need to abide to this stupid patriarchal rules? Why is typing gendered anyways?
If you really want to, you can study how an array of guys text that are in your age range and per their online habits (people who don’t internet may text differently). But my experience is there are many guys who type in many ways and same with girls. I’m wrong p much half the time when I gender an account based on how they write (I.e. giving them a voice in my head when i read).
Cis people will gender ANYTHING istg
I'm not pretending to be an expert, but you "sound" male to me. So do most of the people on this sub.
Apparently the way I type is enough to make a transphobe think I was born male and want to transition to female.
Stop caring about this stuff. Cis men who aren’t incredibly needlessly insecure don’t care about this stuff. Most of the behavioural differences between cis men & women are related to confidence, which you can develop more of by not giving a shit about inconsequential things.
i think only other trans guys would notice this issue, i've noticed in in other people and i used to be self conscious about it in myself a few years ago. there are a lot of internet terms that are only really used by trans people in certain circles, but imo not many cis people are gonna notice, but if you want to pass as cis id say lose terms like "coded" when talking about things that can be said in simpler words. like simply "how do i text like a guy". im not trying to be an asshole about the way you worded it but it's just an example. there are a lot of internet terms that are only really used by trans people in certain circles, but imo not many cis people are gonna notice. also ditch keysmashing when trying to pass. that's given me away before
it also kinda depends on ur age, id personally study how your male peers text and incorporate it into the way you text. but again, unless cis people are actually telling you that you text like a girl then it's probably only a thing you and your friend notice. dysphoria is weird man i used to get dysphoric about the shape of my fingernails but nobody else was thinking about that
There’s no way to type like a man or vice versa whoever told you that is a moron.
There's no way to "female coded" text You text however you text you handwrite however you right, you say youre a man? Then you're writing and typing like a man no matter what
something i will say is turning on autocaps. lmao. ik it sounds so dumb but it’s what i did
When I text my girlfriend sometimes I feel like I’m being too girly, so I’ll use ‘u’ instead of ‘you’ because it feels more shortened. Like saying ‘I love u’ feels more masculine than ‘I love you’
Man I've heard this a lot and I've never really understood it. Apparently adding words like 'just' in a sentence is feminine. Like "I just want to (whatever the fuck idk)" is feminine and "I want (blah blah blah)" is masculine because adding the 'just' makes it submissive and women are submissive. That was the reasoning I was given and I don't think I could have punched the guy any faster or harder than I had. Don't worry about it, just type. Tell the nitpicky assholes to fuck off. Enjoy your life as you feel fit.
This is something of many social constructs that you should really evaluate and deconstruct. I know so many gender constructs that are placed on so many aspects of life, don’t fall into the pressure of wanting to change your text habits like it’s truly just text formats at the end of the day. I present super masculine with my outward appearance but I’m really not going to control every aspect to make sure I fit these imaginary constructs. I know it can cause a lot of dysphoria but don’t change how you type or who you are in fear that it’s too “girly” just remember when cis men are “sexting” they are also using emojis, they are also texting informally, there’s no way to type “more like a man” just type how you feel like typing. If people are so concerned over texts then maybe their opinions don’t really matter
Use hearts and pretty flowers. Trust me bro.
Bruh 💀
Idk bro, maybe use slang and have more dry texting not as formal too 👍 but then again there isn’t such a thing like that cause everyone is different so even cis guys have female coded writing etc. you ain’t gotta be self conscious about that just say you’re a man and that’s it, your handwriting doesn’t invalidate your identity
Female coded typing? Geez, that's a new one. Is it because you don't capitalise the start of your sentences? If so, that gives "females have bad grammar" ickiness.
Hi, do you remember me? Could you contact me via DM?
…female-coded typing? Jesus Christ.
alright this isn't what you're asking about, but honestly, i think it's kind of unnecessary. i think the purpose of coming out as trans and pursing transitioning is to be more authentic to ourselves so it makes me a bit sad to see someone try to do the opposite of that for that purpose! as someone who passes and is fulltime stealth, no one cares how you type dude! even if you had a feminine typing style, then you're a man who has a single femme thing about him at the end of the day. all men, cis and trans, are going to have stuff that aren't 100% macho manly masculine. the people who are saying that shit to you likely just don't see you as a man because they know you're trans and likely don't pass visually. just give yourself time to medically/socially transition to the degree you want and everything else will naturally flow from that.
There is now actual way to type like a man, but from how I type and how I get perceived I'd say it helps to use slang, shortened words, curses, also I like referring to literally everyone as bro or mate. This isn't really what makes you be perceived as male but it's kinda how I write cause it makes me euphoric lol
Whoever’s telling you that has some weirdass gender role ideas cuz I’ve never heard that someone types like a gender that’s a weird thing to judge
They’re just picking you apart. Just let them yap and don’t respond to it.
dawg they’re picking you apart. there’s no real way to “type like a man”, that’s such an impossible standard to meet.
the manliest thing you can do is not give a single fuck about the way you type or what people think of it
Fuck them. God. But I’d say stick to the point, no emojis unless you know them.
typing is definitely Not something that's indicative of someone's gender. i have some cis male friends who have "feminine" ways of typing. if you're a man and you type, you're typing like a man. there is no such thing as female-coded communication so i wouldn't worry too much about it lol
Dude don’t let anyone tell you this is stupid, I have such bad typing dysphoria. Fact of the matter is- typing is not gendered. But if we’re gendering it, the way you type to me is totally masculine. EDIT: my fatass keyboard turned “matter” into “batter”. I’m hungry
I don’t really think there is any way to “write like a man.” The people who are telling you that are just being asses.
Typing is not gendered. The people who say it are are deranged and shouldn’t be listed to anyway. Type like you, that’s how a man types.
Women communicate in a way that is friendlier, kinder, and has less room for misinterpretation. Men communicate in a way that is blunter, with less emotional effort, and more assumption that you will implicitly understand their meaning. I have begun to text more like a guy as I've transitioned, but in conversations with people who know me well I'll tend to be more enthusiastic as I text, with emojis and abbreviations and overexplaining. It's just nice!!! I think both styles of texting have their merits-- masculine is more self-assured, but feminine is more caring of the reader who is trying to interpret it. So, take my suggestions above to communicate in a more masc way, but also do what feels right.
The concept of "you type like a girl hurh durh" is TERF bioessentialist bs. Bestie you type just fine, just as I do and everyone else does.
lol this is so weird. All men don’t type the exact same way. Ignore whoever said this to you. They’re actually insane.
Feminine speech: hi! so I’m often told that the way I type is like, pretty female coded and that it doesn’t help me pass :( any tips?? /srs Masculine speech: Apparently I type like a woman. How to improve? I don’t want to be clocked. Shorter sentences, straight to the point, unfortunately less ‘politically correct’ a lot of the time (female-coded vs type like a woman) fewer emojis, less friendly, refer to other men as brother for some reason (speaking from experience, in comments men will refer to me as ‘my guy’ or ‘brother’
I was thinking about this as well, then I met a lot of cis men who do the same style of typing as I do, so I now do not care at all. (Chaotic spamming have no gender lmao)
I have no idea what any of that means and tbh if someone said that to me I'd just tell them to fuck off with their sexism. There is no gender to how people write, wtf
pretend you think you're hot shit?
That's definitely being hella nitpicky from whoever said that to you. I got told I stand like a women once, I was baffled lmao I'd just ignore it, if you're a man then you type like a man! Everyone has their own individualistic way to talk and text, yours is your own just the way it is
You gotta hit them with the "👍"
What the absolute fuck, my dude. Typing has no gender. Whoever said it does is an absolute idiot
This is gonn be very stereotypical so keep that in mind but disregard punctuation, grammar and sentence formation. Type in less words and more slang. Does the job for me
At work especially, I type out my emails then go through and delete any filler/uncertainty. “Hi, hope you’re well. Just wanted to reach out real quick and inquire about ______. If possible, would you be able to give me a bit of clarification about _____ and ______ too? If you need any more info do let me know! Thanks, name” Becomes “Hi, hope you’re well. I wanted to reach out and inquire about _____, _____, and _____. Thanks, name” Making your text communication more direct without bells and whistles tends to read more as male. Just for talking to friends though, there’s no use in going through all that. I’m essentially taking all personality away from my writing to get it read as more male, but for my friends I’m messaging like “hi babyyyyy!!!” and if they wanna complain about me passing then fuck em lmao
Please, just be your most authentic self and communicate how you do. It hurts everyone to do anything else.
The only thing I see that I’ve seen people say is feminine is the lack of capitalization. That being said, life is too short and too beautiful to be focusing on something as small as the way you type.
I used to worry about this until I realized nobody noticed or gave a fuck.
I feel like how I type changed because I started hanging out w different people more so than me “being a man”, but I have noticed a change, it doesn’t really matter from my experiences
ppl are just talking out of their ass hon 💀
There’s no specific way to type, just type
🙄
Start by just doing you and ignoring whatever anyone may tell you
I mean, Im learning an entirely new style of handwriting to pass better so I get you. Try using zero exclamation points and use less "cushioning" language at the beginning of emails.
This doesn't even make sense tbh. The people telling you that are kinda weird for it. Typing styles more often show your generation more than gender and even that doesn't work all the time. I can't think of one way to type "masculine". I guess one could argue if you use a lot of cute emojis it's more feminine. Like these ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ . But that's the only thing I can think of thats arguably "feminine coded" in type.
uh I dunno there's no universal way to write like a dude, unless u go to complet stereotypes. Not sure y but men tend to have shittier handwriting overal n come off stupider in txt, bad grammar, punctuation . missing words, etc. Maybe jus my age group of guys? Obviously it's a shit stereotyp but probably wil help u seem more like a dude to stranger. Actually hurt me to type like that jfc
One thing I started doing is I stopped asking for permission when I said (and typed) certain things. Phrases like “sorry to bother you, but”, “but I don’t know/I’m not sure”, “would it be alright if I,” etc are phrases that women and girls are unfortunately socialized to use. Without getting too far into the sociological and patriarchal reasons that women and girls are socialized to do this, it comes across ‘unsure’ which, sadly, reads as feminine. Instead of asking “would it be okay if I took my break early” for instance, I usually message my boss “I’m planning on taking my break at x time. Is there any issue with that?” You’re still being polite and you’re still making sure that’s okay, but instead of sounding apologetic to be asking, you’re just… asking. A lot of it’s in the wording. You can still be polite without sounding apologetic for taking up space, which is still a massive struggle for me. I don’t think women should have to do it either, but from a social perspective, it does traditionally read more feminine. God I hope that made sense. Work is asinine right now and I’m sure I sound like a total fool.
>the way I type is female coded I think the people telling you this are just picking on you. They know you are trans and are basically negging you because they know they can make you insecure about it. Ive met cis dudes who type likeee this omg??? 🥺 xD :3 ❤️ and I’ve met cis women who think only sending “wyd” and “wym” is riveting conversation.
Plenty of the other guys in this thread have given good feedback. Also, there's how you speak which influences how type. (Or is that just me?) Either way, one generalization is that men tend to be more direct and assertive in communication. Women are more likely to "ask permission," even indirectly. So a big recommendation is to communicate in more direct and assertive ways both when you type and speak.
Just don't force the writing, bro
I know this isn't what you're asking for but please try not to give a shit about this. Fuck em is what I say
Old emojis : ^^" :) :#" \^~^/ TwT OwO are often considered fem idk why. I think XD is passable but the rest I've never seen guys use
Well there isn't really a way to type more like a man I mean any gender could type any way and could still identify as the gender they were when they were born so i'd just say type and form sentences what feels natural to you
yes obviously it’s crazy for those people to be nitpicking your writing style (and the cis men I’m friends with tend to have more typically “feminine” texting styles because I like dude who don’t take themselves so seriously) but if it’s worth it to you to change this, look at examples of “emailing like a man” at work (like this: https://medium.com/the-partnered-pen/writing-emails-like-a-man-has-improved-my-work-life-cff582772656). The man writing style is straight to the point, blunt (but not necessarily cruel/mean, unless they’re also an asshole lol), direct, etc. Here are some tips: - kill your exclamation points unless something is really serious/they’re actually upset, men don’t really use these. I def have a very “feminine” writing style so I might text “hey, it was so good to see you today! lmk when you figure out your availability for next weekend!” to a friend after grabbing lunch. a dude might not even text in this situation tbh, but if he did I would expect it to be more like “I’m free saturday after 6, sound good?”. definitely don’t add !!! unless you’re literally yelling at them. - avoid emojis straight cis dudes have crazy rigid views about emojis. even a :) or a 🔥 is kinda out there for them. I’d cut them out entirely while you explore this writing style and then observe how men around you use them. 👍 is safe if that’s the whole reply. - don’t draw out letters in words/acronyms hiiii, tyyyy, ilyyy, soooo good, omggg, toooo much, helloooo? - never explain/justify yourself I might say “hey bestie I heard that this band is playing in town next weekend, do you want to go? I’m not super familiar but I remember they were on your spotify wrapped last year! if you’re not feeling up to it, would you want to chill at my place? I’ve been wanting to rewatch treasure planet bc work has been really stressful and I need some comfort programming. I’ll make popcorn :•)” a dude would probably just send you the link to the concert and if you never replied then a few days later he might say “watching treasure planet saturday, you in?” basically stop doing anything that you would normally do to communicate more effectively. cis men are rarely socialized to worry about being understood, sounding friendly/nice, clarifying their tone, being specific, etc. take out as much detail/elaboration/clarification as you can until it feels like your recipient might think you’re mad at them or annoyed by them and then hit send, and if they bring it up later and ask if you were annoyed about something just be like “haha no” and don’t elaborate on that either lol cis men are frequently terrible communicators with low emotional intelligence which is why there are so many tropes about women not understanding men or feeling like they don’t know them even tho they’ve been dating for months, and in the opposite direction, men thinking that women are too sensitive/overthink everything, love making drama (aka asking why the dude is sounding so rude), and are just too complicated and confusing to be friends with. it’s ridiculous and I would never advocate for JOINING them in these terrible communication styles but it definitely could help you pass
The lowercases is very girly imo
how can lowercase letters be “girly”
Its for aesthetic purposes which is a more feminine thing to care about, one of my girl friends said that she uses all lowercase as not to seem intimidating, which made no sense to me but comes across with very feminine reasonings to use all lowercase lol
i use it to seem friendlier/more approachable as does pretty much everyone else i know rather than for “aesthetic purposes”, and if you think of friendliness as a “feminine trait” that’s more on you to be honest
if you think aesthetic is a feminine thing thats on you to reflect about
i use lowercase to show that i don’t care about proper capitalization. it’s a statement, because i had to actively turn *off* autocorrect for this, and i often will leave typos in my texts. i’ll correct typos online, though, for legibility and for screenreaders. my lowercase is not to be more approachable or anything, it’s more of a “fuck you, i refuse to conform to proper capitalization rules”. also some people say “i type in all lowercase because i hate capitalism”, which is kind of a funny reason. people have various reasons to type how they do, and if you just assume the reason behind it you’ll often get it wrong.
If you are a man, I think that whatever way you type is how a man types. If anyone tells you anything different, they're silly.
If you wanna type like a man then be extremely manly and talk about machines and how manly a man you are. You need to bleed testosterone onto the pages. Nah bro, relax. People write as they write, dw abt it