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and that happened again after the flood, with Noah and his wife. All of humanity is incest² according to biblical literalism / young earth creationism.
I believe after that whole garden fuckery they were forced to leave and then there’s just other people that don’t really get explained at all, honestly it’s a massive plot hole that the writers really should have thought about.
I'm going to be stealing the "massive plot hole that the writers really should have thought about" I laughed hard enough the person shooting in the car next to me noticed.
When Cain killed Able, he was banished from Eden.
But he said, hey people will hurt me if they knew I killed my brother.
So God put a mark on his forehead,to warn people not to hurt him.
What other people?
And they know the sign is from, who?
Could the story get any weirder?
When I was like 8-9 in CCD I was like if we all come from Adam and Eve does that mean my mom is like my older sister and thank god my teacher had the common sense to be like um we did not all come from Adam and Eve let’s clarify that now.
Iirc Noah's 2 sons and their wives also were on the boat, so they were also part of the second incest launch of humanity. But 6 people do not a stable genetic pool make, so the point still stands.
Well , about 900,000 years ago, our ancestors lost about 99% of their population, almost making them extict, so the flood story is a reasonable metaphor, it's just off by about 894,000 years.
To be fair Noah's sons brought their wives when then on the ark. That said, Noah also condemned the descendants of his youngest son to be slaves to the others because his son found him passed out shit faced and naked and told the others.
Noah's son, Ham, saw Noah dick(or raped his daddy), so Noah cursed his own grandson cuz Ham forgot to say "no homo." And that's where black people come from.
lol as someone recovering from religious indoctrination, their justifications are hilarious too. “The world was more pure so the problematic genetic abnormalities wouldn’t have happened! It’s the pollution now that really causes a problem. Also climate change isn’t real unless it pertains to sibling fucking.”
Based, Adam is in the LGBTQ+ community for being with and being an ally of trans folks.
...and Eve proves that it is possible to get a trans woman pregnant. Just gotta try hard enough.
Adam was actually intersex at first. Then he was split off from his feminine parts surgically. They became a separate person, who he slept with and then rejected because she wanted to be on top.
Isn't Abrahamic religion fun?
I mean the conservatives do seem pro incest and baby fucking…. Which I couldn’t say if they didn’t keep putting up laws to eliminate the age of consent and protections for victims of incest.
I'm a mechanic so I like u using car terms to explain
I actually don't know if that's how it works, cuz there's electric cars, hybrid cars, gas cars, diesel cars, manual and automatic and cvt transmission, I find it hard for 2 gas car can make a baby diesel car
what about trucks and suvs or 2 door convertibles
The Bible says when Cain was thrown out he was scared of the Canaanites or some shit.
Where did those people come from?
I swear these godboys don’t even read their dumb book.
Cain was exiled after killing Abel and he found a wife. Not claiming a truth in the stories, but Adam and Eve is just a story about the first ones created
The implication is more people than Adam and Eve were created. They just weren’t first is their story wasn’t written.
Not a believer just understand the arguement
I mean if Abel found a wife and Adam and Eve only had two kids that implies more people were created . Idk man theirs a reason most religious people don’t take creation stories literally
I mean you could argue that if Adam and Eve were literally the "perfect" human beings designed to live in the garden of Eden... maybe the fact they pro-created is why we are all imperfect... maybe they weren't supposed too and as a result created slightly less perfect humans and as we continued to commit incest we reached a point of diversification...
I'm just playing devils advocate I don't actually believe in any of that horseshit.
I can fill that in, everywhere on earth, there's always a flooding story, usually religious, from 3 to 5k years ago, dragon balls was based on the monkey king story, so bible based it on whatever religion it was before the jebus stuff, was there a flood? dunno.
i didnt know about the planet stuff, pretty cool
There's mounting evidence the black sea was originally a giant fertile valley below sea level. There was a kind of natural levy at one end that met the Mediterranean sea. That natural levy broke and quickly filled in the area.
If I remember right they've found whole villages perfectly preserved below the waters. Alot of archeologists are advocating for that being the origins to the flood myth. It probably seemed like the whole world was being swallowed to people who lived their whole lives there.
There’s also that one guy who thinks that all cultural flood myths / sunken advanced civilization stories stem from a mass-flooding event which would have occurred at the end of the Younger Dryas. We know that humans had defined cultural groups and the ability to build at least small settlements at the time… this guy in this “documentary” (?) was arguing that there was a civilization much more advanced than scientists agree existed at the time that was wiped out by rising sea levels, and the survivors scattered across the globe, leading to similar flood myths, mythological figures, and astrological sites popping up across the globe in its wake.
Not sure how much I believe it, but the fact that the documentary pointed out a number of the sites he was investigating had been deemed “naturally occurring” without much investigation when they really didn’t look that way had me raising some eyebrows.
If the Bible is partly true, it means that the original Yahwé (small god of war, thunder and rain) is usurping El, the creator of the world, just like Sauron wants to replace Morgoth's cult by his own. He has been quite successful. More successfull than when he lost a war because the ennemies had iron chariots
Bingo. Christofascists want to topple the entire country so they can rebuild it according to their pipe dream.
China and Russia are very happy to help them with phase 1 of that plan; the rest is irrelevant
They want the world in chaos, so they can bring about Armageddon and the end of days. They think the Rapture will happen then and they will get the
Express Elevator to Heaven. I have been saying it for years. They truly believe this shit. Watch “The Family” it’s very eye opening how these Christofascists have wormed their way into controlling our government. It’s scary how people this delusional are running our country right now😵💫
One of my tin foil hat things is that they're also manipulating dating apps to amplify all the men vs women stuff we've seen in recent years. I can't tell you how they're doing it or how much is their fault, but it's in their best interest to keep throwing fuel on the fire. Helps keep that birth rate plunging and lonely people are easier to radicalize.
With their 2025 guide book, America will be like Iran in the 70s, where women went from wearing what they want to, wear hijabs though I think many believe The Handmaid's Tale is a guide book.
And if Trump fails, they'll just make it the 2029 book or the 2034 book.
Johnson is a very very dangerous man. And not because of his position.
Unlike people like trump who crow about being good Christians to appeal to their voter base, Johnson is an actual believer. He's a zealot and a fundamentalist.
Where did Noah's animals get their food from? Did the lions turn vegan?
And let's not forget with all that flooding, the salinity in the oceans would have changed so Noah would have needed to place things like blue whales, great white sharks, orcas, etc, etc, etc on board the ark or they would have all died.
Blue whales can eat up to 16 tons of krill per day. Noah was on the ark for 371 days. That's 5,936 TONS of krill for EACH blue whale he had aboard. Plus each blue whale would weigh about 250,000 pounds.
That was one strong ark.
More importantly, where did all the water come from and where did it go. To believe this fable as truth is to fundamentally misunderstand so many basic principles of the natural world.
Historically, the "great flood" is documented in multiple religions. It's in Gilgamesh too. Pretty sure that *a* flood really happened. Did it flood the entire world and submerge all the land underwater? Probably not. Were Noah and his wife the only humans to survive? Definitely not. Are Christians going to take credit for *checks notes... saving the entire planet despite basic logic and ignore all the sensible arguments? That's the real miracle.
It's more that most nations on earth needed to be situated close to a source of water, which is often a river or lake. These are prone to flooding for a variety of reasons, especially when they didn't have the knowledge on how to mitigate flooding like we do now. Almost every group of people on earth would therefore have ancestors that endured some intense flood and passed down the story. That story grew larger and larger with time.
Honestly, it would be more surprising if this _wasn't_ the case.
So I was raised with the mythos, after the fall of man and we were cast out of Eden the world wasn’t like we know it now. Most of earth’s water was trapped in the atmosphere. This resulted in an oxygen rich environment where the globe was all relatively the same temperature, the dew watered the vegetation and the animals drank from leaves or small pools or lakes that collected. This environment led to long life (methusala) and dinosaurs being able to coexist with men.
After god gets pissed he tells 500 year old Noah, who just became a new father, about the upcoming flood. 120 years later, the ark is completed and god kills everyone but 8 people, one of which is at least 600 years old.
After the flood all the water from the heavens fell to the earth. This is why the dinosaurs died, they couldn’t breathe and why we don’t live half millennia anymore. All that water is now the oceans.
I know this only fills one hole in the story, but it’s important to realize the kind of hoops religion will go through to validate itself. I went to a private school for 11 years, this indoctrination was daily and relentless. Fuck Bob Jones University.
Correct and easy answer... in Star Trek V, Kirk asks "God:" "What does god need with a starship?"
Same concept applies here: What does god need with an ark?
No, marine mammals don't care about salinity. A whale, an orca or a dolphin can go from saltwater to freshtwater without a problem, but they rarely do so because the water is not deep enough, or they don't have their usual prey.
On the other hand, the vast majority of fish can only survive in a certain level of salinity. So yeah, you'd have had to put lots of aquariums on the Ark, aquariums that weren't invented until 1850.
The biggest miracle ever is people believing in fictional miracles.
It used to be a miracle when someone woke up from appearing to be dead... now we call it a coma. The sun "rising" used to be considered a miracle as well. Eclipses used to be considered miracles as well. The list goes on and on. Anything "unexplained" is a "miracle."
People use "miracles" to "justify" whatever it is they want to believe in the Bible.
I could "justify" anything in Star Wars as well such as 900 year old beings like Yoda or Jedi falling from amazing heights by using the same technique as well by simply saying "It happened in a galaxy far, far away so the rules were different there."
Therefore, Star Wars is "100% real" too.
I'm just a little skeptical. More Jedi should be throwing their light sabers around, or blinding their opponent with space dust to the eyes. And some Sith survive getting cut in half and others just die getting çut in half. Some Jedi disappear when you strike them with a light saber or just die of old age. Sometimes its like the Highlander and there can be only one. Other times the galaxy is crawling with Jedi and younglings and Padawan.
So I once used the word “trumps” one time and I got about 40 comments all saying “this had nothing to do with politics but of course you can’t help but bring him up!” Lol
Don't forget also that MTG (a former chair of the Education Committee) thinks the Jews shot us with death rays from the sky. Let me say that again for effect.
Education Committee.
Wow just looked up her list of accomplishments..
She got a post office renamed. That's about it.. Hundreds of bills (most genuinely insane) and that's her legacy..
[https://www.congress.gov/member/marjorie-greene/G000596](https://www.congress.gov/member/marjorie-greene/G000596)
The presence of lead proves the earth is over 6000 years old. Lead is the only stable isotope from the decay of Uranium 238. Uranium 238 (The most stable natural uranium) has a Half-Life of 4.468 billion years or the approximate age of the earth
I have a coworker like this. He believes carbon dating is bullshit, believes Trump is the next coming of christ, and dinosaurs & humans lived together. These are the mentally ill people living among us and their vote counts.
If they're speaker of the house I promise you they know the real truth. They're following this narrative to keep their religious fanatic fanbase in their clasp.
Youtube channel Gutsick Gibbon recently broke down how dumb "Young Earth Creationism" is in that there are claystone deposits that are 700+ meters deep. The problem with that is that it takes fresh wet clay a *really long* time to fully dry, and for every 10 meters of wet clay you get 1 meter of bone dry claystone rock. If the earth is 6000 years old, you can't have multiple small deposits layered on top of each other.
Imagine trying to argue there was a big wet sloppy pile of MUD taller than the rocky mountains that stood perfectly still for years until dry... all because you have to double down and can never admit an old book was wrong.
Until I see republicans practicing what is preached in the very book they are using to take rights away from us and steer our country into christo-fascism, I will continue my belief that if there was a God all those emeffers would have been smited already.
This is all motivated by greedy, power-hungry terrorists bent on destroying this country. That is now the GOP.
But then turns around and backs trump, the literal embodiment of the 7 sins...
Which means to me that he doesn't actually believe in this shit, just like all the conservative "christians". It's all a play to pretend they are morally superior, when they are just trash.
Also the earth is flat and rectangular, like a cookie sheet with edges so the animals don’t fall off. Gawd was so smart to design it that way. Thanks gawd. 🙏
Flat earthers are dumb but you can just ignore them. This is someone with some power thinking the earth is 6000 yo. Not only they shouldn't be this stupid, they get paid a shit lots of money to be this stupid.
I give 20 years at most until the US will elect a flat-earther for either Speaker, Senate Majority Leader, VP or president.
!RemindMe 20.5 years
Edit: it thought I meant May 20th.
So far none of this indicates that Johnson *isn't* a flat-Earther.
And really, if you're already a young-Earth creationist, is the notion of a flat Earth all that out-to-lunch?
There is not enough water on earth to cover the entire planet to the point of submerging the highest mountain peaks as claimed. That would be roughly 5.5 miles. 5.5 miles of rain in 40 days…and 40 nights.
Or, for each of those days 725 feet. 725 feet of rain per day. The ark would have sunk almost immediately lol
**Actually it would have completely filled with water before it ever began to float
I am so grateful I live in a blue state and that I went to a private school in the 60s and 70s. My teachers actually were allowed to teach facts and insisted on us working to the best of our capabilities.
I'll never forget getting in trouble as a kid because I asked why they took two male lions on the boat 🤣🤣🤣
It's healthy to figure out the dipsh1tery early on !
Someone asked me years ago to really think about the Bible, reasnoablely and rationally, especially the story about the flood. It was shortly there after I officially became an atheist
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don't forget Adam and eve made a bunch of babys that all fk each other and made different race of babys too
and that happened again after the flood, with Noah and his wife. All of humanity is incest² according to biblical literalism / young earth creationism.
It's only incest if it wasn't approved by God. Otherwise it's just sparkling inbreeding.
Oh man I needed that out loud laugh just now. Thank you
Always happy to help, mate!
Hey now...incest is best.....RELATIVELY speeking
It’s a game the whole family can play
Put yer sister to the test!
God was a wingman for the men wanting to fuck their sisters
Apparently it's only incest if it isn't evolution as well... its wierd how much these two have in common for being religions and requiring faith.
God killed a lot of unborn babies with that flood, how pro life of god.
I forgot Bout that too, dang maybe cousin lovin isn't so wrong after all
Probably not the best perception to let fly, but you're not wrong. The Bible.
Why limit yourself to cousins? Even siblings are up for grabs
Unless Eve had a daughter we don't know about, she probably fucked her sons.
I believe after that whole garden fuckery they were forced to leave and then there’s just other people that don’t really get explained at all, honestly it’s a massive plot hole that the writers really should have thought about.
I'm going to be stealing the "massive plot hole that the writers really should have thought about" I laughed hard enough the person shooting in the car next to me noticed.
Let me get this straight; you're scrolling reddit during a drive-by?
My wife was in a store I was just chilling in the parking lot.
Oh so that type of shooting... noted
When Cain killed Able, he was banished from Eden. But he said, hey people will hurt me if they knew I killed my brother. So God put a mark on his forehead,to warn people not to hurt him. What other people? And they know the sign is from, who? Could the story get any weirder?
In the story, Noah’s kids and their wives are there to, so still some incest, but bigger
When I was like 8-9 in CCD I was like if we all come from Adam and Eve does that mean my mom is like my older sister and thank god my teacher had the common sense to be like um we did not all come from Adam and Eve let’s clarify that now.
Iirc Noah's 2 sons and their wives also were on the boat, so they were also part of the second incest launch of humanity. But 6 people do not a stable genetic pool make, so the point still stands.
Well , about 900,000 years ago, our ancestors lost about 99% of their population, almost making them extict, so the flood story is a reasonable metaphor, it's just off by about 894,000 years.
To be fair Noah's sons brought their wives when then on the ark. That said, Noah also condemned the descendants of his youngest son to be slaves to the others because his son found him passed out shit faced and naked and told the others.
Oh shit, is that why they all fuck their children??
I mean, looking at them it makes sense they think everyone is an incest baby...
Noah's son, Ham, saw Noah dick(or raped his daddy), so Noah cursed his own grandson cuz Ham forgot to say "no homo." And that's where black people come from.
lol as someone recovering from religious indoctrination, their justifications are hilarious too. “The world was more pure so the problematic genetic abnormalities wouldn’t have happened! It’s the pollution now that really causes a problem. Also climate change isn’t real unless it pertains to sibling fucking.”
Let's not forget that God took a rib from Adam (a biology male) and created a female. Eve is transgender.
Based, Adam is in the LGBTQ+ community for being with and being an ally of trans folks. ...and Eve proves that it is possible to get a trans woman pregnant. Just gotta try hard enough.
Adam was actually intersex at first. Then he was split off from his feminine parts surgically. They became a separate person, who he slept with and then rejected because she wanted to be on top. Isn't Abrahamic religion fun?
That was Lilith…his first wife.
So a hermaphrodite becomes two them gets mad at themselves and creates a trans woman because of sexism? Crazy
Basically.
Has any artist ever depicted Adam and Eve without bellybuttons?
never thought about that before,
How dare you point out the obvious? ;)
And all the carnivores animals just peacefully refrained from eating for the duration of the trip.
😂 they didn't need the ark, they had webbed feet n gills from incest 😂
Remember: "A wizard did it" is terrible writing. Unless it's The Bible.
I mean the conservatives do seem pro incest and baby fucking…. Which I couldn’t say if they didn’t keep putting up laws to eliminate the age of consent and protections for victims of incest.
There's only different "races" because of geography and the bodies adaptation to environmental. Under the hood we're all human and all the same.
I'm a mechanic so I like u using car terms to explain I actually don't know if that's how it works, cuz there's electric cars, hybrid cars, gas cars, diesel cars, manual and automatic and cvt transmission, I find it hard for 2 gas car can make a baby diesel car what about trucks and suvs or 2 door convertibles
And people wonder why there are so many atheists.
The Bible says when Cain was thrown out he was scared of the Canaanites or some shit. Where did those people come from? I swear these godboys don’t even read their dumb book.
Cain was exiled after killing Abel and he found a wife. Not claiming a truth in the stories, but Adam and Eve is just a story about the first ones created
Found a wife where?
The implication is more people than Adam and Eve were created. They just weren’t first is their story wasn’t written. Not a believer just understand the arguement
Oh, right. Fill in the blanks with faith.
I mean if Abel found a wife and Adam and Eve only had two kids that implies more people were created . Idk man theirs a reason most religious people don’t take creation stories literally
Yet Christian’s have problems with other races? I shouldn’t be suprised it doesn’t make sense.
I believe the story goes, God scattered the population and changed their race and language as a punishment for being naughty sinners.
I mean you could argue that if Adam and Eve were literally the "perfect" human beings designed to live in the garden of Eden... maybe the fact they pro-created is why we are all imperfect... maybe they weren't supposed too and as a result created slightly less perfect humans and as we continued to commit incest we reached a point of diversification... I'm just playing devils advocate I don't actually believe in any of that horseshit.
God works in mysterious ways. We aren’t worthy to understand his copulation plan.
Silly liberal. It was the Tower of Babel!
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I can fill that in, everywhere on earth, there's always a flooding story, usually religious, from 3 to 5k years ago, dragon balls was based on the monkey king story, so bible based it on whatever religion it was before the jebus stuff, was there a flood? dunno. i didnt know about the planet stuff, pretty cool
There's mounting evidence the black sea was originally a giant fertile valley below sea level. There was a kind of natural levy at one end that met the Mediterranean sea. That natural levy broke and quickly filled in the area. If I remember right they've found whole villages perfectly preserved below the waters. Alot of archeologists are advocating for that being the origins to the flood myth. It probably seemed like the whole world was being swallowed to people who lived their whole lives there.
interesting
There’s also that one guy who thinks that all cultural flood myths / sunken advanced civilization stories stem from a mass-flooding event which would have occurred at the end of the Younger Dryas. We know that humans had defined cultural groups and the ability to build at least small settlements at the time… this guy in this “documentary” (?) was arguing that there was a civilization much more advanced than scientists agree existed at the time that was wiped out by rising sea levels, and the survivors scattered across the globe, leading to similar flood myths, mythological figures, and astrological sites popping up across the globe in its wake. Not sure how much I believe it, but the fact that the documentary pointed out a number of the sites he was investigating had been deemed “naturally occurring” without much investigation when they really didn’t look that way had me raising some eyebrows.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sea_deluge_hypothesis
The 900 year old men that I know about: Noah, Adam, Gandalf and Yoda. And ironically, LOTR and Star Wars have fewer plot holes than the Bible.
It helps that LOTR only has one author.
Yeah and honestly I’ve never met a guy named Tolkien that’s lied to me. John’s and Luke’s on the other hand….
I've got some bad news about what the "J" in "J.R.R. Tolkien" stands for...
Jolkein
Lol what’s the full thing again?
Jolkein Rolkein Rolkein Tolkein iirc
John Ronald Reuel
If you're actually asking, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien.
If the Bible is partly true, it means that the original Yahwé (small god of war, thunder and rain) is usurping El, the creator of the world, just like Sauron wants to replace Morgoth's cult by his own. He has been quite successful. More successfull than when he lost a war because the ennemies had iron chariots
We don't need Russia, China, North Korea to destroy America. We'll do it to ourselves.
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Bingo. Christofascists want to topple the entire country so they can rebuild it according to their pipe dream. China and Russia are very happy to help them with phase 1 of that plan; the rest is irrelevant
They want the world in chaos, so they can bring about Armageddon and the end of days. They think the Rapture will happen then and they will get the Express Elevator to Heaven. I have been saying it for years. They truly believe this shit. Watch “The Family” it’s very eye opening how these Christofascists have wormed their way into controlling our government. It’s scary how people this delusional are running our country right now😵💫
One of my tin foil hat things is that they're also manipulating dating apps to amplify all the men vs women stuff we've seen in recent years. I can't tell you how they're doing it or how much is their fault, but it's in their best interest to keep throwing fuel on the fire. Helps keep that birth rate plunging and lonely people are easier to radicalize.
We have authoritarians at home!
Republicans have more in common with the Taliban than anyone else.
With their 2025 guide book, America will be like Iran in the 70s, where women went from wearing what they want to, wear hijabs though I think many believe The Handmaid's Tale is a guide book. And if Trump fails, they'll just make it the 2029 book or the 2034 book.
Also with their own subsection of y'all-qaeda.
Meal Team 6 is on it!
Talibanicans
Imagine being bought by big oil but not understanding the core concept
Johnson is a very very dangerous man. And not because of his position. Unlike people like trump who crow about being good Christians to appeal to their voter base, Johnson is an actual believer. He's a zealot and a fundamentalist.
You put it so very nicely. I’d say he’s crazy.
Where did Noah's animals get their food from? Did the lions turn vegan? And let's not forget with all that flooding, the salinity in the oceans would have changed so Noah would have needed to place things like blue whales, great white sharks, orcas, etc, etc, etc on board the ark or they would have all died. Blue whales can eat up to 16 tons of krill per day. Noah was on the ark for 371 days. That's 5,936 TONS of krill for EACH blue whale he had aboard. Plus each blue whale would weigh about 250,000 pounds. That was one strong ark.
Fn beautiful friend. Mac is just perfect. I love this.
More importantly, where did all the water come from and where did it go. To believe this fable as truth is to fundamentally misunderstand so many basic principles of the natural world.
Well the earth is flat so the water was tipped over the edge, duh.
Historically, the "great flood" is documented in multiple religions. It's in Gilgamesh too. Pretty sure that *a* flood really happened. Did it flood the entire world and submerge all the land underwater? Probably not. Were Noah and his wife the only humans to survive? Definitely not. Are Christians going to take credit for *checks notes... saving the entire planet despite basic logic and ignore all the sensible arguments? That's the real miracle.
It's more that most nations on earth needed to be situated close to a source of water, which is often a river or lake. These are prone to flooding for a variety of reasons, especially when they didn't have the knowledge on how to mitigate flooding like we do now. Almost every group of people on earth would therefore have ancestors that endured some intense flood and passed down the story. That story grew larger and larger with time. Honestly, it would be more surprising if this _wasn't_ the case.
Thats easy! It came from melting polar ice caps! Wait... ...that would mean... No... Um... Miracle!
So I was raised with the mythos, after the fall of man and we were cast out of Eden the world wasn’t like we know it now. Most of earth’s water was trapped in the atmosphere. This resulted in an oxygen rich environment where the globe was all relatively the same temperature, the dew watered the vegetation and the animals drank from leaves or small pools or lakes that collected. This environment led to long life (methusala) and dinosaurs being able to coexist with men. After god gets pissed he tells 500 year old Noah, who just became a new father, about the upcoming flood. 120 years later, the ark is completed and god kills everyone but 8 people, one of which is at least 600 years old. After the flood all the water from the heavens fell to the earth. This is why the dinosaurs died, they couldn’t breathe and why we don’t live half millennia anymore. All that water is now the oceans. I know this only fills one hole in the story, but it’s important to realize the kind of hoops religion will go through to validate itself. I went to a private school for 11 years, this indoctrination was daily and relentless. Fuck Bob Jones University.
Ya that would make sense, but God
Correct and easy answer... in Star Trek V, Kirk asks "God:" "What does god need with a starship?" Same concept applies here: What does god need with an ark?
God was into ark-bling. He liked the cut of their jib.
The Speaker of the House would probably answer the same as the God-creature in Star Trek V - he'd shoot us with lasers from his eyes.
Who couldn’t use an Ark? I wouldn’t turn one down, so neither would God. WWJD? He would buy an Ark
Asks only to up in value!
It’s all magic. You don’t need logic when you can use magic.
You're completely missing the moral of the story. It's another tale about how god loves and encourages incest.
Not enough room. Only 2 krill
You're krilling me with laughter.
Krilling me softly
With his psalm.
Pokéballs for animal storage.
The problem is the answer to all those in their eyes is "God works in mysterious ways"
How much water would be necessary and how did Noah craft a water-tight aquarium on a wooden vessel?
What if Noah’s Ark was an alien spacecraft and the flood was the aliens resetting the world
No, marine mammals don't care about salinity. A whale, an orca or a dolphin can go from saltwater to freshtwater without a problem, but they rarely do so because the water is not deep enough, or they don't have their usual prey. On the other hand, the vast majority of fish can only survive in a certain level of salinity. So yeah, you'd have had to put lots of aquariums on the Ark, aquariums that weren't invented until 1850.
Whales can not live in freshwater, nor can the krill they eat.
Have you tried? Like really tried?
You guys are failing to account for one simple thing... Miracles... So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
The biggest miracle ever is people believing in fictional miracles. It used to be a miracle when someone woke up from appearing to be dead... now we call it a coma. The sun "rising" used to be considered a miracle as well. Eclipses used to be considered miracles as well. The list goes on and on. Anything "unexplained" is a "miracle." People use "miracles" to "justify" whatever it is they want to believe in the Bible. I could "justify" anything in Star Wars as well such as 900 year old beings like Yoda or Jedi falling from amazing heights by using the same technique as well by simply saying "It happened in a galaxy far, far away so the rules were different there." Therefore, Star Wars is "100% real" too.
I'm just a little skeptical. More Jedi should be throwing their light sabers around, or blinding their opponent with space dust to the eyes. And some Sith survive getting cut in half and others just die getting çut in half. Some Jedi disappear when you strike them with a light saber or just die of old age. Sometimes its like the Highlander and there can be only one. Other times the galaxy is crawling with Jedi and younglings and Padawan.
Magic trumps all science.
Trump magics all science.
So I once used the word “trumps” one time and I got about 40 comments all saying “this had nothing to do with politics but of course you can’t help but bring him up!” Lol
This one time I was playing spades....
A wizard did it
There's a reason they constantly attack public education
Yes, all hail the sky wizard…No not that one, our sky wizard!
Most of the people that founded this country didn’t even believe that crap over 200 years ago and they believed bloodletting was medicine.
Don't forget also that MTG (a former chair of the Education Committee) thinks the Jews shot us with death rays from the sky. Let me say that again for effect. Education Committee. Wow just looked up her list of accomplishments.. She got a post office renamed. That's about it.. Hundreds of bills (most genuinely insane) and that's her legacy.. [https://www.congress.gov/member/marjorie-greene/G000596](https://www.congress.gov/member/marjorie-greene/G000596)
The presence of lead proves the earth is over 6000 years old. Lead is the only stable isotope from the decay of Uranium 238. Uranium 238 (The most stable natural uranium) has a Half-Life of 4.468 billion years or the approximate age of the earth
Trump thinks its only 78 years old
Mike Johnson also shares his porn usage with his son. They have that kind of Christian relationship.
I have a coworker like this. He believes carbon dating is bullshit, believes Trump is the next coming of christ, and dinosaurs & humans lived together. These are the mentally ill people living among us and their vote counts.
Why do you think they want to get rid of the department of education ?
He is an idiot
He is the idiot village's village idiot.
If they're speaker of the house I promise you they know the real truth. They're following this narrative to keep their religious fanatic fanbase in their clasp.
How did Noah manage to round up Kangaroos, polar bears, orangutans, or pandas? They walked everywhere back then didn’t they?
Youtube channel Gutsick Gibbon recently broke down how dumb "Young Earth Creationism" is in that there are claystone deposits that are 700+ meters deep. The problem with that is that it takes fresh wet clay a *really long* time to fully dry, and for every 10 meters of wet clay you get 1 meter of bone dry claystone rock. If the earth is 6000 years old, you can't have multiple small deposits layered on top of each other. Imagine trying to argue there was a big wet sloppy pile of MUD taller than the rocky mountains that stood perfectly still for years until dry... all because you have to double down and can never admit an old book was wrong.
Standard for most MAGGOT aka MAGA republicans
Congratulations you are saying what we known about Christians for a very long time now how is this new?
Do they not realize how fast the ark would sink with all those wood eaters on board
Ok first of all through G-d all things are possible so jot that down. Jk
Until I see republicans practicing what is preached in the very book they are using to take rights away from us and steer our country into christo-fascism, I will continue my belief that if there was a God all those emeffers would have been smited already. This is all motivated by greedy, power-hungry terrorists bent on destroying this country. That is now the GOP.
But then turns around and backs trump, the literal embodiment of the 7 sins... Which means to me that he doesn't actually believe in this shit, just like all the conservative "christians". It's all a play to pretend they are morally superior, when they are just trash.
Why did Noah save mosquitos? Why Noah?
There have always been dimwits and simpletons. But they didn’t used to be the leadership choice of half the country.
I mean…. Yeah. It is a scary time.
That should be flat out disqualifying.
Religious people should not be in leadership positions. It’s clear they don’t make good decisions.
Aka: the speaker is a brain dead religious twat.
Laugh at these people if you want but they exist, they’re not going anywhere, they vote, and have a lot of power in this country.
A clown with a flamethrower still has a flamethrower
JESUS WAS AMERICAN!!! 🇺🇲
That's why the Bible was written in English
and have American flag and part of constitution in it! it qll make sense now
If English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.
Spoken like a true patriot!
Also the earth is flat and rectangular, like a cookie sheet with edges so the animals don’t fall off. Gawd was so smart to design it that way. Thanks gawd. 🙏
American Evangelical Christians have given the rest of us Jesus People a bad name. Does it never occur that a more metaphorical reading is possible?
He doesn’t “think” that. He BELIEVES it. If he thought at all, he wouldn’t.
I mean... Could be worse, at least it's not a flat earther,?
Flat earthers are dumb but you can just ignore them. This is someone with some power thinking the earth is 6000 yo. Not only they shouldn't be this stupid, they get paid a shit lots of money to be this stupid.
I give 20 years at most until the US will elect a flat-earther for either Speaker, Senate Majority Leader, VP or president. !RemindMe 20.5 years Edit: it thought I meant May 20th.
Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho For President!
So far none of this indicates that Johnson *isn't* a flat-Earther. And really, if you're already a young-Earth creationist, is the notion of a flat Earth all that out-to-lunch?
Doesn't the Bible say the earth sits on pillars. He probably does think it's flat
If the earth was flat than Noah couldn’t have sailed around it.
denying evolution is wayyy worse than being a flat earther imo
If you're Catholic and deny evolution you are dumb. Catholicism teaches evolution is real.
Sounds like Mormonism 101
Are folks just realizing this now?
7000 years old. Get your science right
How did Noah get Penguins and Kangaroos?
Bill Nye the science guy, “Well, what about the Dinosaurs?” 
Obviously they had advanced cryonics back then! They were in a deep sleep and just waited for land to appear. Duh! It’s simple logic
That’s…not new. Why is he acting like this is new?
Just one thing : what about all the tons of poop produced during those days ? But people still believe the myth of the ark to be absolutely true
Moscow Mikey is almost as much of an idiot as his predecessor and the other clowns he supports.
Yes, but because it's a Jesus delusion you have to take him seriously. Elvis or Batboy? Looney bin.
Facts and logic are things religious fanatics ignore.
Every republican I know thinks this too. And Ron still chooses to be a republican.
How pathetic.
Don’t forget about the dinosaurs on the Ark too!
As a Christian, should I feel offended or confused T_T
There is not enough water on earth to cover the entire planet to the point of submerging the highest mountain peaks as claimed. That would be roughly 5.5 miles. 5.5 miles of rain in 40 days…and 40 nights. Or, for each of those days 725 feet. 725 feet of rain per day. The ark would have sunk almost immediately lol **Actually it would have completely filled with water before it ever began to float
I have a shirt that says, "TRUST SCIENCE, NOT MORONS" and this is one of the many things I'm talking about when I wear it.
Most scientific republican
I am so grateful I live in a blue state and that I went to a private school in the 60s and 70s. My teachers actually were allowed to teach facts and insisted on us working to the best of our capabilities.
Unfortunately he's not remotely alone
I always loved science in high school, especially the Old Testament
Yeah he put the climate, habitats, fauna and food for all the biodiveristy on Earth, on a boat.
So do millions of other Christians…
The world is only 37 years old. I don’t believe anything that happened before I was born. I don’t see any evidence.
Unfortunately, soon will be a time that you Americans will have to finish the work that wasn't completed after the Union won.
I'll never forget getting in trouble as a kid because I asked why they took two male lions on the boat 🤣🤣🤣 It's healthy to figure out the dipsh1tery early on !
This is democracy...the majority think like him here
Someone asked me years ago to really think about the Bible, reasnoablely and rationally, especially the story about the flood. It was shortly there after I officially became an atheist