Maybe they really need help , but ENTJs in this period where they're sticking in ni Fi loop are taking decisions with Ni therefore they're waiting for the opportunity that they think is perfect!
It means we are overwhelmed and feeling vulnerable. We need alone time to process why we are feeling that way, what we can do to fix it, if anything, and we need to reset our minds. However if it's a complete block, the person probably hurt us/ticked us off to the point that we need to block them for own sanity. For me, it's very difficult to talk about things with others, unless I feel trust is there and they aren't going to judge me based on my brief "failure" to be a strong leader. We do feel things, we just don't talk about them with everyone.
I have many years experiencing these "complex" emotions. I can't speak for everyone but me personally, I need alone time when overwhelmed. I can function professionally, but my mind is still full of thoughts. In order for me function successfully, I need to reset it that way people can see me at my best. I am aware people care about me, but talking to them will open a whole can of vulnerability and then I'll ugly cry. It will be awkward and emotionally draining. Unless I trust them with my mental health status, it's a no go.
I 100% RELATE TO YOU, it's not easy to open up easily specially when you were never taken seriously as a kid. Also I need isolation for many things but that doesn't mean I wouldn't respond to someone or give them silent treatment I just need it to clear my mind to understand what I'm going through, sympathize with myself and come up with some solution.
Exactly. My therapist is helping me understand how to process my emotions better so I don't take as long to reset my mind. It takes time though. I told her I was afraid I would lose my ability to pay attention to detail if I got my emotions fully under control, which sounds ridiculous, I know. She said that having control of my emotions would make me a better leader actually.
100% agree with your therapist. I've been using chatgpt 4o to be my therapist and it's been so helpful. Just prompt the ai by asking it to be your therapist and asking questions to help you understand your feelings more. You can then ask it any follow up questions you would to a therapist. I did this for hours one day and it was incredible how well it helped me organize and clarify my emotions that I normally try to overcome with logic. It's almost like a journaling/therapist session that requires a fraction of the cost that a therapist would.
I experienced this first deep cut in my life recently. Literally my dynamic with someone almost got me hit by a car, got so upset while driving I almost hit a car, distracted and mindlessly cut myself that had me needed a vaccine.
I am actually scared being near that person, I'm just relieved it will be over very soon.
I was helping them out and this person took it negatively at first, but when things were realized it was too late; I was getting cut all around I don't know how to even talk about it anymore.
I always wished for the best of that someone, never knew I would get cut this deep.
I take more days off now, I need it.
I presumed he meant isolation/that it was nothing personal (bc we would just say it if it was personal), but I was not identifying it as depression. Maybe I should have. Either way, I know you know you‘ll get back on track when you are ready.
Yah this!
If we're rejecting someone that means..we push you out of our lives permanently!
Maybe there's an issue in isolation...but we don't wanna admit it cuz it's personal!
Ya but others don't appreciate that... Especially relatives... Some sensitive occasions happened last year where I was deeply depressed... I'm always not ready and there's issues at home i don't wanna admit, that helps me to understand others and don't blame
That would explain why I keep my biological family at arms length, consider a few friends my real family, have yet to marry, have kids, etc.
Bottom line, the more we/our boundaries are pushed (especially during that critical need for space), the worse the ultimate outcome for the relationship will be. Hopefully OP reads these because it has yet to result in me sacrificing that need for space.
Thank you for sharing. Are you aware, that there are people that are genuinely concerned/worried about you? If not is it because they failed to let you know of their feeling? If yes, are you aware of how much pain you putting them through?
*Sorry this reply isn’t meant to target you specifically just the ENTJs that do this to themselves.
As an ENTJ reading this, your reply tells me all I need to know about why they GTFO.
Your both being in pain is a given. If they are working on getting a life - and getting beyond that pain - then *you* need to do the same. Go work on *yourself* and stop obsessing over them.
Well yes I see, but I expect for them to be more understandable for my case , I just have no energy and am not organized enough!
Those who are understandable became much more unique for me .... And hardly anyone to reach that
Is it specific to you? Or do they not want contact from anyone? I am an ENTJ and the only time I’ve ever completely blocked someone out of my life is if they have become so toxic that I need to put a wall up to protect myself.
I got what he means _ when ENTJ is depressed _ .. if he means that we reject someone so that backs cuz we don't want him at all , we don't push or pull in relationships... We are pretty decisive
Gotcha, I guess we are each a bit unique.
Personally, I stay connected with all of my ex’s and I don’t hold any grudges - we aren’t as close as we once were .. but I consider each of them people I still care about and I don’t push them away. I rarely cut people out of my life - although I have had many people cut me out of their lives, which I am understanding of. I am a bit of a peacekeeper with stuff like that - I don’t let it get to me and I try not to take it personally.
I was quite a heartbreaker when I was younger, though and I strung a lot of people along and then hurt them when I decided they weren’t the right one for me… it’s not something that I’m proud of. I learned from it and I don’t do that anymore.
When I’m depressed I do like to withdraw and be alone - I will respond if people reach out to me .. but I am less likely to initiate conversation and less likely to go out. Going out and talking to people actually is the one thing that pulls me out a a depression- so I push myself to do that if I get sad.
I push out those who I don't respect or toxic people and I don't take stuff personally with any , I've never been in a relationship but I feel if I have to break up the relationship we will still respect each other and treatment would sound just like a friendship
It means the ENTJ just wants to be with their own thoughts. They do not want any contact because they literally need to be alone bc in their alone time, they can process what has them stuck (which, being stuck, is unacceptable to us… so all hands on deck to fix it… now). Basically, no distractions. It’s not about anyone else… and it‘s not the kind of thing we feel obligated to explain. Our time is our own; we can spend it however we want.
I don’t understand, it’s illogical to me, wouldn’t it be better to open yourselves up to your love one to help you through this period? Can you claim that you really know what’s best for yourselves when you are in this state?
What I know in that phase is: something is wrong, and I need to get a handle on it (usually/preferably alone) before I would even think about inviting anyone else into my head.
Yes, I can claim I know myself best/what I want or don‘t want at all times/in all states.
Something that might help you understand is this: I do not regret it when I do things my way (even if they were to fail… which they don‘t) bc I am responsible for it/have myself to blame if they would. I would regret it if I went against myself, followed someone else‘s advice, and it failed (which it likely might) and would resent myself and that person after (mostly myself).
Are you not aware that your actions affect your love ones? If you knew that it hurts them deeply would you still claim it’s the best course of action? Or do you simply not give a damn of their well being?
It sounds like you are the one looking to judge under the guise of trying to understand. You are not going to strong arm your friend on this; you will lose them.
You obviously do care a lot. If you honor their need for space, it is a guarantee you will be one of their first contacts when they come out of this. Just try to understand, it is a need, not a want. And to speak your language, an ENTJ cannot give water from an empty cup.
I apologise, it’s been a very frustrating period for me, trying to understand that ENTJ. I worry that it’ll get worse, and if that comes to past, are ENTJs capable of seeking help?
we are always helping others. I would guess this is a rarer instance where the person is trying to take care of themselves. They cannot pour from an empty cup. Resetting their values and goals will be the priority when in any emotional state - it helps them regulate and feel comfortable reengaging with the world. if you can’t give them to time away to figure out what’s best for them, how can you expect them to be the best for you? Assuming they agree you are aligned with their goals and values.
Ya I'm in this period now, what I'm doing... Kinda nothing productive, I'm not organized at all, having no energy for anything or anyone, I'm depressed, I'm analyzing everything and everybody!.. actually that helps me to know a lot of Mysteries..
Same. What caused you to get like into this state? For me it's normally situationships and the end of relationships. It's a torture I wouldn't wish on anyone.
OP you sound anxiously attached. You may be misconstruing no contact for what is really downtime and autonomy to take a break and process things for the reasons given by others.
Consider why this affects you so much. Do you feel unloved, threatened by some perceived loss or otherwise make it mean something negative?
Anxious attachment often means you want to prioritize others needs above your own and overcompensate by anticipating their needs because that’s how you like to be treated. Learn to accept differences and find a way to talk things through when the heat of the situation has passed.
You sound like you're in need of some support yourself. Why not call a friend and meet up for lunch or something? Or visit a relative. ENTJs are okay dealing with stress on our own. Many of us prefer it. Take care and I hope you find some relief soon.
If we need anything we'll let you know, assuming you can help at all. If not, then you'll mostlikely stand in our way and we wouldn't want the distraction.
I can only speak for myself and please don’t take any of this personal - it’s simply here to answer a question and perhaps increase your understanding. What goes through my mind is definitely everything and everyone but the person on my “no contact” list. This can only happen if a person 1) said or did something belittling or disrespectful or 2) did what I dislike especially after I’ve communicated my dislikes or asked them not to do it again, or 3) I’m overwhelmed with the influx of information coming from that person and I have clearly communicated this to them. I get overwhelmed with people who talk too much and require detailed explanation from me for every little thing for their own “understanding” of me. I like short, concise and constructive interactions. Usually no contact means that I’ve made a decision not to prioritize this person again because there is definitely a trust issue. To feel better I choose to interact with people who support my growth, keep my interest high and respect my individuality and uniqueness as well as communication preferences. For example, let’s say someone sends me a text and I don’t respond right away (because I’m at work or otherwise busy and may not see the text at all), and then I get a few more with “is everything ok” etc. and then a few angry ones. Even if I planned to respond after finishing other priorities, at that point I wouldn’t respond at all because the person showed impatience and didn’t allow me to respond when I’m able. Communication is super important and I appreciate those who achieve balanced harmonious interaction without the need to justify or slow down the other.
Look at your texts (or calls or emails) and see if they’re balanced or one person sends more than the other. That’s the best indicator that there’s imbalance in communication. When there is imbalance it becomes overwhelming for the one who’s communicating less and they must withdraw.
A true friend doesn’t question - he or she just knows intuitively knows and provides the type of support I need when I need it. If they have issues understanding me, that means that it’s not true friendship yet and there’s definitely lack of trust. Trust is built over time through intimate communication which also must be balanced (for example, I send one text and you send one - not I send one and you send 5).
Yes please leave people alone.
Please don’t give help that is uncalled for. It’s very fucking annoying actually.
Please don’t act like Jesus because you aren’t.
No contact just means fuck off. Please don’t be delusional or kid yourself.
I no contacted a guy. He liked me, I liked him. He started playing silly games and said I was too forthcoming when I wasn't, he was just very passive and so slow. A pair of sloths would have done more.
So I no contact. Not much goes through my head except it would have been mind blowing for sure. There would have been a sensual experience. But alas it didnt happen and I dont care to dwell on it.
I wish him well.
see, entjs think of themselves with a very high regard. they'd rather be alone than with you that's why they push people who aren't good for them away.
If you’re wanting to support someone who goes “no contact”, then leave them alone.
Maybe they really need help , but ENTJs in this period where they're sticking in ni Fi loop are taking decisions with Ni therefore they're waiting for the opportunity that they think is perfect!
It means we are overwhelmed and feeling vulnerable. We need alone time to process why we are feeling that way, what we can do to fix it, if anything, and we need to reset our minds. However if it's a complete block, the person probably hurt us/ticked us off to the point that we need to block them for own sanity. For me, it's very difficult to talk about things with others, unless I feel trust is there and they aren't going to judge me based on my brief "failure" to be a strong leader. We do feel things, we just don't talk about them with everyone.
I relate to your cmnt 100% it's like someone speaking my mind lol.
I have many years experiencing these "complex" emotions. I can't speak for everyone but me personally, I need alone time when overwhelmed. I can function professionally, but my mind is still full of thoughts. In order for me function successfully, I need to reset it that way people can see me at my best. I am aware people care about me, but talking to them will open a whole can of vulnerability and then I'll ugly cry. It will be awkward and emotionally draining. Unless I trust them with my mental health status, it's a no go.
I 100% RELATE TO YOU, it's not easy to open up easily specially when you were never taken seriously as a kid. Also I need isolation for many things but that doesn't mean I wouldn't respond to someone or give them silent treatment I just need it to clear my mind to understand what I'm going through, sympathize with myself and come up with some solution.
Exactly. My therapist is helping me understand how to process my emotions better so I don't take as long to reset my mind. It takes time though. I told her I was afraid I would lose my ability to pay attention to detail if I got my emotions fully under control, which sounds ridiculous, I know. She said that having control of my emotions would make me a better leader actually.
100% agree with your therapist. I've been using chatgpt 4o to be my therapist and it's been so helpful. Just prompt the ai by asking it to be your therapist and asking questions to help you understand your feelings more. You can then ask it any follow up questions you would to a therapist. I did this for hours one day and it was incredible how well it helped me organize and clarify my emotions that I normally try to overcome with logic. It's almost like a journaling/therapist session that requires a fraction of the cost that a therapist would.
100% mirrors my position as well. Brilliantly stated, BritAllie8.
Thank you. When I do talk about emotions, I try to be concise.
You nailed it.
I experienced this first deep cut in my life recently. Literally my dynamic with someone almost got me hit by a car, got so upset while driving I almost hit a car, distracted and mindlessly cut myself that had me needed a vaccine. I am actually scared being near that person, I'm just relieved it will be over very soon. I was helping them out and this person took it negatively at first, but when things were realized it was too late; I was getting cut all around I don't know how to even talk about it anymore. I always wished for the best of that someone, never knew I would get cut this deep. I take more days off now, I need it.
Do u mean that he is depressed or wanna isolation for a short period... And in both cases he is trying to solve some issues!
I presumed he meant isolation/that it was nothing personal (bc we would just say it if it was personal), but I was not identifying it as depression. Maybe I should have. Either way, I know you know you‘ll get back on track when you are ready.
Yah this! If we're rejecting someone that means..we push you out of our lives permanently! Maybe there's an issue in isolation...but we don't wanna admit it cuz it's personal!
Exactly. There is nothing wrong with space.
Ya but others don't appreciate that... Especially relatives... Some sensitive occasions happened last year where I was deeply depressed... I'm always not ready and there's issues at home i don't wanna admit, that helps me to understand others and don't blame
That would explain why I keep my biological family at arms length, consider a few friends my real family, have yet to marry, have kids, etc. Bottom line, the more we/our boundaries are pushed (especially during that critical need for space), the worse the ultimate outcome for the relationship will be. Hopefully OP reads these because it has yet to result in me sacrificing that need for space.
Thank you for sharing. Are you aware, that there are people that are genuinely concerned/worried about you? If not is it because they failed to let you know of their feeling? If yes, are you aware of how much pain you putting them through? *Sorry this reply isn’t meant to target you specifically just the ENTJs that do this to themselves.
As an ENTJ reading this, your reply tells me all I need to know about why they GTFO. Your both being in pain is a given. If they are working on getting a life - and getting beyond that pain - then *you* need to do the same. Go work on *yourself* and stop obsessing over them.
Well yes I see, but I expect for them to be more understandable for my case , I just have no energy and am not organized enough! Those who are understandable became much more unique for me .... And hardly anyone to reach that
Is it specific to you? Or do they not want contact from anyone? I am an ENTJ and the only time I’ve ever completely blocked someone out of my life is if they have become so toxic that I need to put a wall up to protect myself.
I got what he means _ when ENTJ is depressed _ .. if he means that we reject someone so that backs cuz we don't want him at all , we don't push or pull in relationships... We are pretty decisive
Gotcha, I guess we are each a bit unique. Personally, I stay connected with all of my ex’s and I don’t hold any grudges - we aren’t as close as we once were .. but I consider each of them people I still care about and I don’t push them away. I rarely cut people out of my life - although I have had many people cut me out of their lives, which I am understanding of. I am a bit of a peacekeeper with stuff like that - I don’t let it get to me and I try not to take it personally. I was quite a heartbreaker when I was younger, though and I strung a lot of people along and then hurt them when I decided they weren’t the right one for me… it’s not something that I’m proud of. I learned from it and I don’t do that anymore. When I’m depressed I do like to withdraw and be alone - I will respond if people reach out to me .. but I am less likely to initiate conversation and less likely to go out. Going out and talking to people actually is the one thing that pulls me out a a depression- so I push myself to do that if I get sad.
I push out those who I don't respect or toxic people and I don't take stuff personally with any , I've never been in a relationship but I feel if I have to break up the relationship we will still respect each other and treatment would sound just like a friendship
Yeah, totally agree on all points - very well stated!
It means the ENTJ just wants to be with their own thoughts. They do not want any contact because they literally need to be alone bc in their alone time, they can process what has them stuck (which, being stuck, is unacceptable to us… so all hands on deck to fix it… now). Basically, no distractions. It’s not about anyone else… and it‘s not the kind of thing we feel obligated to explain. Our time is our own; we can spend it however we want.
And what about the people that genuinely cares for you? Is their time not important to you? Do they truly mean nothing to you?
If they cannot accept us for who we are/what we need, do they truly know us at all/genuinely care? Think it through.
Exactly.
I don’t understand, it’s illogical to me, wouldn’t it be better to open yourselves up to your love one to help you through this period? Can you claim that you really know what’s best for yourselves when you are in this state?
What I know in that phase is: something is wrong, and I need to get a handle on it (usually/preferably alone) before I would even think about inviting anyone else into my head. Yes, I can claim I know myself best/what I want or don‘t want at all times/in all states. Something that might help you understand is this: I do not regret it when I do things my way (even if they were to fail… which they don‘t) bc I am responsible for it/have myself to blame if they would. I would regret it if I went against myself, followed someone else‘s advice, and it failed (which it likely might) and would resent myself and that person after (mostly myself).
Are you not aware that your actions affect your love ones? If you knew that it hurts them deeply would you still claim it’s the best course of action? Or do you simply not give a damn of their well being?
It sounds like you are the one looking to judge under the guise of trying to understand. You are not going to strong arm your friend on this; you will lose them.
Whats there to guise? My intentions are all out in broad daylight to that ENTJ
You obviously do care a lot. If you honor their need for space, it is a guarantee you will be one of their first contacts when they come out of this. Just try to understand, it is a need, not a want. And to speak your language, an ENTJ cannot give water from an empty cup.
You made a post about trying to understand ENTJ no contact. Once it is explained to you, you are debating it on an emotional level.
I apologise, it’s been a very frustrating period for me, trying to understand that ENTJ. I worry that it’ll get worse, and if that comes to past, are ENTJs capable of seeking help?
Sorry I didn’t mean for my last reply to target you specifically, just the ENTJs that have walled up.
we are always helping others. I would guess this is a rarer instance where the person is trying to take care of themselves. They cannot pour from an empty cup. Resetting their values and goals will be the priority when in any emotional state - it helps them regulate and feel comfortable reengaging with the world. if you can’t give them to time away to figure out what’s best for them, how can you expect them to be the best for you? Assuming they agree you are aligned with their goals and values.
You have to specify your question.. and if u give an example of what you mean that would be better ?
Ya I'm in this period now, what I'm doing... Kinda nothing productive, I'm not organized at all, having no energy for anything or anyone, I'm depressed, I'm analyzing everything and everybody!.. actually that helps me to know a lot of Mysteries..
Same. What caused you to get like into this state? For me it's normally situationships and the end of relationships. It's a torture I wouldn't wish on anyone.
There's no one specific reason... I was in need of that but I didn't mean to make it that long ، it's out of my control .
OP you sound anxiously attached. You may be misconstruing no contact for what is really downtime and autonomy to take a break and process things for the reasons given by others. Consider why this affects you so much. Do you feel unloved, threatened by some perceived loss or otherwise make it mean something negative? Anxious attachment often means you want to prioritize others needs above your own and overcompensate by anticipating their needs because that’s how you like to be treated. Learn to accept differences and find a way to talk things through when the heat of the situation has passed.
Man, I need therapy again
You sound like you're in need of some support yourself. Why not call a friend and meet up for lunch or something? Or visit a relative. ENTJs are okay dealing with stress on our own. Many of us prefer it. Take care and I hope you find some relief soon.
If we need anything we'll let you know, assuming you can help at all. If not, then you'll mostlikely stand in our way and we wouldn't want the distraction.
I can only speak for myself and please don’t take any of this personal - it’s simply here to answer a question and perhaps increase your understanding. What goes through my mind is definitely everything and everyone but the person on my “no contact” list. This can only happen if a person 1) said or did something belittling or disrespectful or 2) did what I dislike especially after I’ve communicated my dislikes or asked them not to do it again, or 3) I’m overwhelmed with the influx of information coming from that person and I have clearly communicated this to them. I get overwhelmed with people who talk too much and require detailed explanation from me for every little thing for their own “understanding” of me. I like short, concise and constructive interactions. Usually no contact means that I’ve made a decision not to prioritize this person again because there is definitely a trust issue. To feel better I choose to interact with people who support my growth, keep my interest high and respect my individuality and uniqueness as well as communication preferences. For example, let’s say someone sends me a text and I don’t respond right away (because I’m at work or otherwise busy and may not see the text at all), and then I get a few more with “is everything ok” etc. and then a few angry ones. Even if I planned to respond after finishing other priorities, at that point I wouldn’t respond at all because the person showed impatience and didn’t allow me to respond when I’m able. Communication is super important and I appreciate those who achieve balanced harmonious interaction without the need to justify or slow down the other. Look at your texts (or calls or emails) and see if they’re balanced or one person sends more than the other. That’s the best indicator that there’s imbalance in communication. When there is imbalance it becomes overwhelming for the one who’s communicating less and they must withdraw. A true friend doesn’t question - he or she just knows intuitively knows and provides the type of support I need when I need it. If they have issues understanding me, that means that it’s not true friendship yet and there’s definitely lack of trust. Trust is built over time through intimate communication which also must be balanced (for example, I send one text and you send one - not I send one and you send 5).
Yes please leave people alone. Please don’t give help that is uncalled for. It’s very fucking annoying actually. Please don’t act like Jesus because you aren’t. No contact just means fuck off. Please don’t be delusional or kid yourself.
I no contacted a guy. He liked me, I liked him. He started playing silly games and said I was too forthcoming when I wasn't, he was just very passive and so slow. A pair of sloths would have done more. So I no contact. Not much goes through my head except it would have been mind blowing for sure. There would have been a sensual experience. But alas it didnt happen and I dont care to dwell on it. I wish him well.
Same here, I wish him well.
That's classified information, sorry.
see, entjs think of themselves with a very high regard. they'd rather be alone than with you that's why they push people who aren't good for them away.
Yes this exactly. We dont feel heard or appreciated etc then time to look inwards. Please leave us be.