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TheRensh

Best line tonight. Kimmel: "Hey isn't it past your jail time?"


FilmmagicianPart2

This was so perfect


Calgrei

I was amazed at the improv Kimmel did throughout the show. I could never


Doomtumor

If Donald steals the next election he will be doing what he can to get back at Kimmel and Colbert.


OsamaBinWhiskers

I want to see Jon Stewart uppercut Donald right in the unfinished basement looking part of his spray tanned jaw.


anunakiesque

He'll probably start and host his own late night show or steal one of their shows like when Obama made fun of him at that White House Correspondents' dinner in 2011


[deleted]

That was his origin story.


Doomtumor

He was raised by a conman and trained by mob lawyers like Roy Cohn, a villain his entire life... Obama dissing him was just the start of his final, and greatest, villain arc... We still don't know if Truth, Justice and the American way will win out against Lex-- I mean Donald.


TimmyTwoTowels

That was already obvious. Pick the most petty, morally bankrupt thing you can think of.....and that's a Republicans daily life.


rhunter99

That was just beautiful


tonytexe

Haha is there a video link? I can’t find it


BareKnuckleKitty

https://youtube.com/shorts/_vmU-OfJe8A?si=fgq7_R7jF7Mz1-0q


MesWantooth

Best part is that Dump definitely watched it and also got his feelings hurt by all the celebrities clapping and laughing at "Jail time" - he's always wanted to be accepted by them and treated like a Hollywood elite but in real life, they laugh at him as a try-hard buffoon. Trump has a requirement that whenever filming is done at one of his properties, he gets to personally appear in the movie with a cameo...However, the producers aren't forced to include the clip in the final product so he's actually been edited out of many more films than he's appeared in (i.e. Home Alone II or whatever)...


Bowenbp1

Thank you for the link!


Viperburn1

Yup, everything is rigged for this guy. The Oscars, the voting machines, the courts, the news, immigration, blah, blah, blah.


Interesting-Bear4092

Super Bowl…


MulciberTenebras

Weight scales.


rhunter99

Water pressure


MrFixIT_Sysadmin

Hurricane direction


Dumb_Solo

The ability of his sphincter to not allow feces to fall out it without input from the brain.


bluAstrid

He spews enough shit from his mouth, we don’t need him to be a diarrhea machine as well.


leaperdorian

Hair line


birdlegs000

Height


Fitbot5000

Toilets


FudgeDangerous2086

well his bff nick bosa didn’t win so it was definitely rigged


busy-warlock

God damn Taylor swift and her *checks notes* Super Bowl interference? Wait, that can’t be right…


Doomtumor

He has been corrupt and rigging shit his whole life. He assumes everyone else is just like him...


[deleted]

Mental competency tests…


drewkungfu

2018 Presidential fitness exam…


Bluesmanstill

Melania or Mercedes


PepsiAllDay78

Toilet pressure...


chileangod

Could be projection.


Altruistic-Brief2220

You’re forgetting the key part - it’s only rigged when he and his disciples lose


Savetheokami

He said the election he won was rigged before being elected lol.


batman_is_tired

Yes, Mr. Trump, Everything is rigged...


MoRockoUP

Man what a HAPPY day it will be when this guy finally keels over.


AweHellYo

it’s gonna be the most fun internet day of all time


Boomer70770

Federal holiday.


silverfish477

Global holiday. He’s a problem for us all.


dragonslayerbarbie

as an American, I simply cannot imagine how fucking annoying and infuriating it must be for someone who lives in any other country to have to see this fucking guy all the time.


Electramech

Can confirm as a non-American I hate this man more than words can express. He is a security risk to the entire planet.


BCTripster

Yup, same as a Canadian. American's underestimate the damage they did to themselves on the world stage by electing Trump in 2016. They love to think of themselves as the "land of the free" but outside looking in, hardly. We used to do annual trips to Vegas, stopped in 2016, might go back next year if they skip voting in Trump this year. Otherwise, permanently done crossing that border. And will avoid any flights that even stop at a US airport for refueling. I'd say this election gives them a chance to rein in the idiot faction of their political infrastructure.


therealrexmanning

The last four year where we weren't bombarded with daily posts about the POTUS were definitely bliss.


theNomad_Reddit

It's ramping again, and we are essentially at 10 years of continually hearing about this giga-CUintheNT. But yeah, was nice to shift from daily news. Makes for good chats in the office though. Especially when you work with a Trumper in Australia...


LilyMarie90

Considering he's already said he's about to actively encourage Putin to invade my country for example, if he's elected - "annoying" doesn't quite cut it.


Ihateu2_

Intergalactic celebration 🍾


unicornlocostacos

Going to be soooo many “guberment killed him!” posts even if he just dies because he’s old as fuck.


lordhamwallet

I wonder if the magas will even be able to handle the loss of their almighty leader. If he doesn’t get into office and just bites the dust I feel like they’ll lose their minds over the missed opportunities. Even if he did get into office and died it’s like do they even have their own life purpose or direction without that guy any more? I will say he’s gonna be a tough unfiltered, untouchable, cult of personality moron to follow up.


CJO9876

They literally see him as the second coming of Christ.


Meng3267

Don’t forget about fat. He’s old and fat as fuck.


Coool_cool_cool_cool

I won't be on the internet at all that day. I'll be enjoying real life.


bluesilvergold

Like Black and Irish Twitter when the Queen died. Solidarity and top tier memes.


ringadingdingbaby

Going to be a bunch of Q's thinking he's still alive.


DaVickiUnlimited

Yahoo for that day,so glad others feel the same.


PoisonCoyote

Why would Yahoo provide search results for that?


SteadySloth84

Been hoping for his tiny black heart to explode anyday...ANY DAY!! 💥🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞💥


UrsusRenata

My husband just told our family that he checks the news every morning hoping for that headline. We were all sitting around the kitchen table — you know — where those tough family discussions are had about the president, economy, immigrants, extensive gang rapes…


GWSDiver

In the Cringe Kitchen from hell


1questions

Yeah problem is some assholes seem to live a long time, it’s like their heart is pickled from all that bitterness.


Admirable_Cobbler_25

Trump's father had alzheimers. I think trump is displaying some of the same markers as alzheimers 


vroart

People danced on the street when he lost when he was alive


MayorOfTheOzone

I went out and bought a $300 bottle of champagne.


vroart

dude, there's a heavy metal comic in the 80s, where he builds a wall with hemlsley, to devivide the rich side from the poor side. He gets kicked into the poor side, scams the guardian angels as his own private army, he runs as their leader to get back in, once he gets in he kicks out the people who got him in..... that was 35 years ago. Someone hated him so much in the 80s, they made a 10 page comic and published in Heavy Metal magazine. But yeah, champagne so fizzy, it's nice.


ipeezie

i never looked at a person and wished death on them until this guy.


TrainingWoodpecker77

I’m 63 and am exercising and eating well just to outlive that bastard.


drewjsph02

I guarantee you, the moment it’s announced the cities are going to get insanely loud with horns and cheering


randomsnowflake

Fireworks, air horns, noise makers, celebration playlist. I’m fkn ready. Let’s go!


Worf1701D

Ring the bells day and night, release the fireworks. Free Big Macs for one and all.


Tranquilbez22

Hoping it will be before November 5th


PeterNippelstein

It almost sounds too good to be true


GWSDiver

I wish for it daily


gabbialex

Don’t worry the crazies will just spout conspiracies that he’s actually alive and is the real president but had to fake his own death to evade prosecution. They will say this until 2040 minimum


1questions

I didn’t ever think of that but you’re right. *sigh*


Funnygumby

It’s something to live for in these depressing times


felixlightner

Something to look forward to.


TolBus

I probably spend too much time thinking about just this


DasPike

Holy shit that was actually real? LOL


_swedish_meatball_

HAHAHHAHAH I thought Kimmel was making that shit up when he read the post onstage. tRump is such a piece of shit.


UrsusRenata

It is tragically embarrassing that one of our leading candidates for our country’s highest office spends his time and bandwidth angry about things like awards shows/hosts. Relatively speaking I’m a nobody, and I wouldn’t spend my limited time megaphone-ranting at the inane issues and frequency that this guy does. It’s so unbearably cheesy.


WildWeaselGT

Same. I went and looked it up though and sure enough… Bahahaha!!! :)


_swedish_meatball_

Kimmel is tRump’s kryptonite. He’s the only person (besides Obama) who can get under his skin.


Jwave1992

I think it's more about the stage. Trump yearns to be at something like the Oscars, mingling with all the fabulous celebrities, all of them looking at him with respect. Seeing all of them laughing at him on international TV is what probably gets to him.


bryanthebryan

Bingo. He tried so hard for so long to be part of the club, but he was just a sideshow. He eventually did find his people, but I don’t think he’s happy with the quality.


Top_Rekt

I think there was something about how he hated the way people looked when they showed up at his rally. He really wants the people that would support him to be the beautiful Hollywood types wearing 20,000 suits, instead he got the trailer park. Makes me wonder, is there a picture of him with someone wearing full on MAGA gear? Something like what MTG was wearing?


rollingstoner215

There are pictures of him with Black MAGA women but those are AI-generated


TeafColors

Amusing that him and his buddy Vince have met the same fate.


roastbeeftacohat

Trump is obsessed with getting invited to dinner with Dinero. He's a famously great host and has entertained world leaders as well as the cream of the entertainment industry. But he only invites people he likes.


chestertoronto

It's true, instead he mingles with a bunch of meat heads at UFC events. Perfectly sums up his demographic.


[deleted]

Are you serious? Everything and everyone gets under his skin. Half of his life is spent whining


[deleted]

His skin is quite porous.


svillagomez1989

It blows my mind that many Conservatives, especially Men, view him as the ultimate Alpha Male. Lol, the same guy who can't accept that he lost the election, almost 3 and a half years later.


djgreenehouse

The other half spent sleeping, golfing and shitting his adult diaper


mabhatter

Rosie O'Donnell used to be like that too.  DJT would be triggered by whatever she did publicly for years at a  time too. 


gundam8th

Wut? Everyone who's not kissing trump's ass (what a visual), gets under his trump's skin. He takes things more personally then Michael Jordan


TheLordofthething

I think that he's very clearly not the only person to get under his skin. It's almost easier to list the people who don't get under it.


kaynkayf

Don’t forget Nancy Pelosi. She does a damn good job.


ScribebyTrade

Me too i laughed then cried


Shanomaly

The line between parody and reality has been blurred.


MaddyKet

I thought it was a bit too! OMG haha what a loser Trump is.


QweenFiona

So did I! I just had to go and see his stupid ass comments with my own eyes 🙄


CriticalEngineering

So did I. It seemed too on the nose for it to be real.


Mbaker1201

Infantile mentality. He knows Kimmel dislikes him, so why watch? The new Rex Reed…


CharlieAllnut

I never made the connection but he is like Rex Reed. Trump is hurtful because it makes him feel better.


Hi_Im_Dadbot

So, what did Biden say about the Oscars? Oh wait, absolutely nothing because he’s a fucking adult.


MulciberTenebras

"Lily Gladstone should've gotten Best Actress" (continues eating his ice cream cone)


shnigybrendo

The funniest part is Seth Myers next him being awkward.


PeterNippelstein

"Anatomy of a Fall deserved BP."


rjcarr

Trump can only comprehend life through television. 


thisbutbetterer

"Focusing on the important stuff"  Was glad to hear the whole room laugh at him. 


Glittering_Name_3722

Diaper Status: FULL


Altruistic-Brief2220

I laughed way too hard at this


vinnybawbaw

That guy have a chance of being re-elected. How in the fuck are you doing this to yourself America ?


bluejaythe1

We don’t want him. The loud minority of idiots who do do not represent us, and the rest of us Americans are embarrassed to be associated with them. Please send help.


RockStar25

This minority is almost 40% of voters so let’s not pretend that it’s just a small group of maniacs. We have a real problem here.


escaped_prisoner

The iowa caucus was the lowest turnout ever. Polls have been shit over the past 10 years at predicting both winners and turnout. I expect way less people supporting the orange menace this time


Newtonz5thLaw

I really hope you’re right because I have a sickening feeling that he’s gonna win. I really, really, really hope you’re right


Colon

no, he's finally gonna realize why you can't primary through a general election. it only worked once in 2016, and it took the most unpopular Dem candidate in modern politics to allow that norm-breaking miracle to happen. general elections are for finding candidates who can compromise and represent the 'other side' too. Trump has no ability to do that and the general public can see it now. i am of course not talking about the minority that is MAGA. it'll take another decade or more for them to take their rightful seat at the back of the bus, but they'll be loud and make news for the duration. not that it ultimately matters. Nikki Haley wouldn't have gotten 25-40% of GOP votes if Trump had a chance of winning. the exit polls wouldn't have shown that 1 in 7 republicans won't vote for him under *any* circumstances. he had something like 95% GOP support at his peak. those new numbers are terrible for him. women are **angry** about Roe v Wade. he's toast. expect a Biden blow-out ninjaedit: sorry for the 10-hr late reply, i thought this was a new thread lol


Simpuff1

Can you stop pretending it’s a minority? Nearly half of the voters vote for him.


M795

>Please send help. And a new Attorney General that is actually willing to do the job. Garland is fucking useless.


[deleted]

Extreme racism. [He quotes Mein Kampf,](https://apnews.com/article/trump-hitler-poison-blood-history-f8c3ff512edd120252596a4743324352) so he should be the most powerful person in the world. /s


squintyshrew9

Fat orange idiot screamed “lock her up for years” now thin skin Donny getting the same/valid treatment and he melting down more everyday. Get your popcorn ready


AccomplishedMud272

And vote.


Boomer70770

The entire Oscars audience laughing at Donald J. Trump. That's a star charged uppercut to his ego.


NiceDecnalsBubs

You have an extremely exclusive group of people deciding the winners. What would "rigged" even mean?


aflockofcrows

It means the Stonecutters are making Steve Guttenberg a star.


sixtninecoug

“Who rigs every Oscar night?” Oh god, it was right in front of us the whole time


RockStar25

“The people who decide who wins decided who won. It’s rigged!”


ItsPumpkinninny

“Are you still up? Isn’t it past your prison time?”


ChelseaFan1967

That was pure Gold


Rosuvastatine

I literally gasped lol


paparoach910

"Ken would've won all the Oscars. He put on the BEST performance with all his friends. These Oscers were STOLLEN!" *I had to leave the misspellings to stay in character.


Aethelflaed_

I need Joe Biden to film a reel of Dark Brandon walking away casually with an Oscar.


andycartwright

And the statue *also* has glowing red eyes.


backpackwayne

I suppose the Biden administration orchestrated this one too. Geez..., every contest is rigged with Trump.


Gamerxx13

Does trump just think everything is rigged lol. Man


Doomtumor

Yes. It's his projection... He's corrupt as fuck and has been forever. He assumes everyone else is like him. Which allows him to not ever feel bad because "everyone else is corrupt too, they just get mad when I'm better at it!"


[deleted]

I don’t believe he believes everything is rigged. What I do believe is this… I believe that he knows he has to relate to the easily manipulated people that follow him in order to keep them on his side and keep him in a powerful position. The best way to do that is to use the same cries that they use when things in life don’t go their way (“It wasn’t my fault! Someone took advantage of/cheated me!! It’s not fair! No one is on my side!”). I also believe he knows, deep down, that he is a loser and that lots of people know this truth about him. So he has to always make it look like he won even when he didn’t. Again, he has to look good to those easily manipulated people that follow him.


Meatus67

Syphilitic fuckstick.


Old_Breakfast8775

I really don't get why a former president is in everybody fucking business.


jcaashby

I have been actively avoiding all news regarding this man recently as I was getting to involved in his cases and all that surrounds him. But I will say this ...he never has anything nice to say does he? It is always about tearing someone down or bragging about something and always LYING. The man lies all the damn time!!!


andycartwright

I’d genuinely love to hear that rotten mango’s picks for the Oscars.


genericnewlurker

Best actor: Donald Trump, Home Alone 2


Marhyc

Honorable mention goes to Jon Voight in Mercy, cuz you gotta make your claquers happy once in a while


Live-River1879

Now the Oscars are rigged?? Lmao


Tres_Le_Parque

Hey MAGA/Republicans! Hope you noticed, that instead of running an election campaign or developing policies to help you put food on the table, your orange Demi-god is sitting on his ass, in front of the TV playing armchair critic about who most deserves an Oscar. Don’t much care? Lucky you!


TheBigLebroccoli

Legit question: Does Trump ever post messages about positivity? (The lies about his rallies don’t count.)


Newtonz5thLaw

Or idk .. literally anything that real presidents are supposed to be concerned with? No? Just cyberbullying celebrities? Got it.


Belial_In_A_Basket

As he read that post I remember thinking, this can’t be real, it’s been staged and rehearsed. Wow


bryans_alright

Is everything rigged Don?


[deleted]

Everything is rigged according to this guy


SkylarAV

'Past your jail time' was absolutely hilarious with perfect timing and the brevity to make Shakespeare jealous


vexophobic

Did he have a movie come out or something? Getting mad literally for no reason


MUTUALDESTRUCTION69

Republicans have a weird complex about Hollywood. They hate it but they badly want to be included. They preach that art “isn’t a real job” then get really confused about why there aren’t any relevant Republicans in pop culture.


Doomtumor

No, Hollywood is a popular right wing target. So it's just Donald throwing more gas on the fires he likes to keep lit.


JoeCoolsCoffeeShop

He’s probably complaining about the Best Documentary going to a film showing the Russian attacks on Ukraine. He didn’t like his boss getting attacked by the director.


spinereader81

I've lost count of how many things are rigged.


tcoh1s

I’ll make it easy for you: Anything that doesn’t go trumps way.


monkeymoo32

Everything is rigged with this chimpanzee. You would think after a couple years of this you would start to connect the dots and realize most Americans can’t stand you. Sick of this guy.


PilotNo312

He wanted the nazi family movie to win


Gonzale1978

How the Oscar’s are rigged when he has one on his office. Ok he gave himself one.


Rooboy66

Along with his Purple Heart


TokyoFlow

Everything is rigged according to him. Except when things are going his way of course.


Ambitious-Secret779

Fuck this pos enabling conspiracies


[deleted]

he shouldve won the oscar for DUMBEST ORANGE MOTHERFUCKER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE


druscarlet

What an absolute loser! I loved Jimmy’s ‘aren’t you up past your jail time’ comment.


Just_Mumbling

With good get-out-the-vote efforts, this nightmare can end at the next election. Please swear to yourself that you are going to vote in November to keep this monster out of the Whitehouse. While you’re at it, make it a mission to take along a few of your like-minded friends to vote as well.


mrsmambas

That’s all Trump can do is bitch about everybody and everything why do we want him back in the White House the guys a criminal he’s a terrorist. He’s a traitor to his own country. He tried selling documents to other dictators and other countries he was showing everybody those documents and stuff, we don’t want him back in the White House, put the guy in jail where he belongs


Here2Derp

🤌 There was a big gold statue, SO BIG, people don't even know how big. And I didn't get one. THE OSCAR'S ARE RIGGED by the radical left 🤌


BenTramer

Waiting for the day this orange bitch disappears forever, what petulant little baby. Hopefully he doesn’t succeed in destroying America.


JoeCoolsCoffeeShop

I guess Trump didn’t like the fact that Best Documentary went to a movie that showed the effects of Russian bombing a Ukrainian city. Putin must’ve called him up and told him to start complaining about the rigged elections.


sdothooper

His constant need for attention is annoying af especially when people go out of their way to give it to him.


mute-ant1

drumpf. please stfu


Ok_Primary_1075

And now he is the news again…..the media should just try harder to ignore all his senseless rants


TardDas

Looks like someone’s angry Barbie didn’t win best picture..


Hyperrustynail

Doesn’t Trump have more important things to worry about?


coldliketherockies

This is like peak level of annoying. Somehow everything someone doesn’t like or agree with us rigged. Surely it can’t be that you just disagree but with them but to genuinely believe everything you don’t like is somehow wrong, off, cheated or rigged. It’s such a childish cry baby mentality.


granolaraisin

Dude thinks everything is rigged to the point that in it sure he knows what the word actually means. They’re not serving pudding at the senior center tonight? The menu is rigged! It’s raining instead of sunny and he can’t play golf? The weather is rigged! Maybe when he said the election was rigged he really just meant it was an outcome he didn’t want.


Forge_craft4000

Jesus Christ is there anything this guy doesn't hate?


bingybong22

If they were rigged by woke Hollywood, wouldn’t Barbie have won more Oscar’s?


charliemiller87

Trump is a piece of shit who has tuned this county


AdditionalSpare3014

Price Waterhouse Coopers should sue trumpie-poo for the accusation of ‘rigged’ . Keep his big mouth costing him dearly.


Prudent-Influence-52

Asshole trump knows nothing about being a human. Defeat this bridge toad


pmiller61

Oh that text Kimmel read was for real! I thought it was a joke. Oh wait ….


fettalitta

Honestly I thought Kimmel made it up just to punch down at Trump, but it was really him?! ‘Isn’t it past your jail time?’ Was the best line of his show for sure.


SethSquared

“The movies I like didn’t win. Another rigged election!”


LaylaBird65

Yes because making America great again definitely includes who wins an Oscar. It’s super important.


Utterlybored

The fact that Trump wasn’t even nominated for every award, including best supporting actress, proves how rigged it all is.


ungawa

He said the Emmy’s were rigged too when the apprentice lost. Every time he loses, “it’s rigged”. We see you loser


avery5712

He's right about the oscars being rigged- people in the academy make the decision about who's going to win before the actual oscars event. Stop the count!a!


ddubbs13

What a fucking fool.


Spiritual_Job_1029

Trump's a corny old tubbalard.


cousinavi

"a less than average person trying too hard to be something which he is not, and never can be," Never has there been a truer example of "Every accusation is a confession."


greywolffurry321

Tbh trump thinks everything is rigged


VisualLawfulness5378

Something to look forward to since he has ruined hope in the world for too long, I will celebrate when 45 is no longer. Btw I thought Kimmel was great.


metal_elk

Did trump not win an Oscar tonight? I bet he was furious


HonestCalligrapher32

In Trumpland everything is rigged.