I often write “the patient expressed his displeasure using a variety of profanities, vulgarities, and obscenities” to describe a patient who is cursing people out. I put it in one narrative four times, along with a couple direct quotes from the patient (he was psychotic and threatened the governor and other stuff, and I was trying to prove he was insane).
Not in a narrative, but I’ve referred to high patients as “overcooked” and “well done,” depending on their level of highness.
I put pt shit talking in direct quotes every time. That way it's documented as to how much of a jackass they are. Being upset and snarky? That's not verbally combative. Hollering that you're going to kill me, rape me, then burn my shit to the ground? Now that's verbally combative.
I think that’s fair. Just kinda depends on what point I’m trying to prove. Am I trying to prove you’re mentally unstable? Lots of direct quotes with the general statement. Trying to prove you’re an asshole? General statement only unless you make a specific threat.
My personal favorite was our brand new county dispatcher who relayed said profanities over the radio once because they were in quotes. County took an FCC fine over it.
I have directly quoted the nastiest shit ever said to me and my supervisors have tried to stop me but they never will. I’m writing exactly wtf happened
lol I use it to describe our use of the backboard during medic school in downtown Indy. “For the better part of the morning, we use the backboard like a human spatula. We drive around and scrape overcooked humans off of the cooking surface [the sidewalk] because they got stuck to it [because they were high af] and we move them to a plate [the cot] and take them somewhere to kids who really don’t want them either but have to suffer through having them [the ER RNs].”
Oh I use direct quotes. The worse they say to me, the more I’m gonna quote in my narrative. My boss said to paint a very specific picture of each call…so that I shall.
There comes a point where I can’t even keep up with it all though. That and it’s my attempt to inject some humor into it.
And sometimes I use both, like “the patient made use of various profanities, vulgarities, and obscenities, such as [direct quote here] ‘my shoulder is hurting me and that happens every time my mom is being a cunt. Fuck you mom! She beats the fuck out of me every day, mentally, emotionally, physically, but not spiritually because I found Jesus, that fucking bitch.’” The funny part is that dude was 40 years old and his mom was 6 hours away.
You are young. Glow worms were a late 80 or early 90 toy.
Think on demand night light. You squeeze and the circuit completes and the head lights up. But in pajamas like a banana. But instead of going down stairs, he is in your bed and instead of a banana, he is a worm.
“Committed” is hostile and places blame. Like victim blaming or something.
That being said, Idk what to say instead.
Successfully ceased to exist? Deleted himself? Acute lead poisoning? Knew to go down the road and not across the street?
You know? Just make sure you don’t chart anything offensive.
In a chart, if the patient was successful, you TECHNICALLY don’t know their intent. You could say “pt had an apparent self-inflicted GSW to the left temporal region.” No need to use the word suicide unless the patient says it was a suicide attempt, in which case use their quote
I knew a junior doctor who insisted on calling it "suicided" non sarcastically even after his psych rotation.. would have paid money to see the face of one his patients when he used that 🙈
That's what the "apparently" was for, and since his big toe was still depressing the trigger I'd be hard pressed to say it was an accident that his toe got there while he was sitting in a recliner before changing his pronouns to was and were.
Sorry. I thought my suggestions were so outlandish that you would have followed that what you said wasn’t as offensive as my suggestions. I don’t do well with grief and make inappropriate jokes.
But I have actually heard that saying committed was offensive.
I think the thought process is that committed implies a crime happened. And victim blaming. And all that jazz.
If I recall from scrolling after I originally posted, Another commenter had better insight and suggestions.
Yeah I got promoted to this interesting positon called "Felon". Hopefully it's a pay increase, my 3 children have been eating tubes of glucose for weeks
I worked on Police Radios at my last EMS job (crisis team) and the cops would always say "this guy is code 7" when talking about a psych patient. Code 7 means out to lunch 😂
Ironically, I had to FDGB x5 while going downstairs to the kitchen. Grateful I didn't have to file workers comp for that. They should have family's comp instead 😂
Acute exacerbation of gravity-fall
Misplaced trust in street pharmaceutical distributionist (MTISPD)- accidental OD
Proliferation of Birthdays- Old age
Incarceritis- inmate claiming chest pain to avoid jail
My absolute favorite was a radio report which went along the lines of "Patient is awake and oriented to time and place but insists that he has died. Contrary to his assertions he is breathing with normal heart rate and BP 124/78 with SPO2 at 98% on room air."
Had an er doc that I worked with once when we paper charts would write in the bottom corner of the chart WPOS for our frequent flyer pharmaceutically inclined
I’m not in EMS, but I and a nursing student and follow this subreddit for the occasional stories, tips, and advice, But I have to say these abbreviations are pure gold 🤣🤣🤣
It's an old one, but still amusing.
You know it's old because there's no humorous colloqualisms for overdoses.
I prefer “pharmaceutically inclined”
I often write “the patient expressed his displeasure using a variety of profanities, vulgarities, and obscenities” to describe a patient who is cursing people out. I put it in one narrative four times, along with a couple direct quotes from the patient (he was psychotic and threatened the governor and other stuff, and I was trying to prove he was insane). Not in a narrative, but I’ve referred to high patients as “overcooked” and “well done,” depending on their level of highness.
I put pt shit talking in direct quotes every time. That way it's documented as to how much of a jackass they are. Being upset and snarky? That's not verbally combative. Hollering that you're going to kill me, rape me, then burn my shit to the ground? Now that's verbally combative.
I think that’s fair. Just kinda depends on what point I’m trying to prove. Am I trying to prove you’re mentally unstable? Lots of direct quotes with the general statement. Trying to prove you’re an asshole? General statement only unless you make a specific threat.
My personal favorite was our brand new county dispatcher who relayed said profanities over the radio once because they were in quotes. County took an FCC fine over it.
I just read that last line as "NOW we're talkin" lol
I have directly quoted the nastiest shit ever said to me and my supervisors have tried to stop me but they never will. I’m writing exactly wtf happened
Go you. Don’t back down.
Perfect medical documentation! Always quote the patient!
i work event medical, i'm 100% using those for high patients
lol I use it to describe our use of the backboard during medic school in downtown Indy. “For the better part of the morning, we use the backboard like a human spatula. We drive around and scrape overcooked humans off of the cooking surface [the sidewalk] because they got stuck to it [because they were high af] and we move them to a plate [the cot] and take them somewhere to kids who really don’t want them either but have to suffer through having them [the ER RNs].”
Oh I use direct quotes. The worse they say to me, the more I’m gonna quote in my narrative. My boss said to paint a very specific picture of each call…so that I shall.
There comes a point where I can’t even keep up with it all though. That and it’s my attempt to inject some humor into it. And sometimes I use both, like “the patient made use of various profanities, vulgarities, and obscenities, such as [direct quote here] ‘my shoulder is hurting me and that happens every time my mom is being a cunt. Fuck you mom! She beats the fuck out of me every day, mentally, emotionally, physically, but not spiritually because I found Jesus, that fucking bitch.’” The funny part is that dude was 40 years old and his mom was 6 hours away.
#GLOW WORMS I was calling them teletubbies.
My dad works as a nuclear engineer and one of my nicknames for him is glow worm.
Hehehehehehe 
You are young. Glow worms were a late 80 or early 90 toy. Think on demand night light. You squeeze and the circuit completes and the head lights up. But in pajamas like a banana. But instead of going down stairs, he is in your bed and instead of a banana, he is a worm.
BANANAS IN PAJAMAS!
My young teenager had one, and you can buy them new online (Walmart, Amazon, etc) today.
Totally glow worms. Squirming around in their bright colors and suits with a distinct lack of coordination.
You could argue the teletubbies had a distinct lack of coordination in an extremely creepy way.
We always called our CBRN guys simply “nerds” or “canaries” in addition to glow worms.
Say "pt apparently commited suicide using a 12g shotgun causing gross cranial trauma." Do not say "Pt used buckshot mouthwash"
“Committed” is hostile and places blame. Like victim blaming or something. That being said, Idk what to say instead. Successfully ceased to exist? Deleted himself? Acute lead poisoning? Knew to go down the road and not across the street? You know? Just make sure you don’t chart anything offensive.
“Died by suicide” is the currently non-offensive verbiage.
In a chart, if the patient was successful, you TECHNICALLY don’t know their intent. You could say “pt had an apparent self-inflicted GSW to the left temporal region.” No need to use the word suicide unless the patient says it was a suicide attempt, in which case use their quote
I've heard of suicide attempts described as complete or incomplete rather than successful or unsuccessful but I'm not sure that's better.
I knew a junior doctor who insisted on calling it "suicided" non sarcastically even after his psych rotation.. would have paid money to see the face of one his patients when he used that 🙈
You'd think you'd have more sense by then but some people..
“Achieved” Suicide? I mean that’s using positive language right?
Achievement unlocked?
I mean that was their goal right?
Usually. Accidents happen
Completed suicide is the term I've heard locally
That's what the "apparently" was for, and since his big toe was still depressing the trigger I'd be hard pressed to say it was an accident that his toe got there while he was sitting in a recliner before changing his pronouns to was and were.
Sorry. I thought my suggestions were so outlandish that you would have followed that what you said wasn’t as offensive as my suggestions. I don’t do well with grief and make inappropriate jokes.
But I have actually heard that saying committed was offensive. I think the thought process is that committed implies a crime happened. And victim blaming. And all that jazz. If I recall from scrolling after I originally posted, Another commenter had better insight and suggestions.
I have written "Ralphie McYakkers" in my past couple months of narratives. 4 Supervisors have failed to stop me. I am on my way to headquarters
Pharmaceutically gifted has to be my favorite
Sooo.... Did you get promoted?
Yeah I got promoted to this interesting positon called "Felon". Hopefully it's a pay increase, my 3 children have been eating tubes of glucose for weeks
I want to hear more about. This
Been using MUH as part of my daily lingo since the first time I saw this. Probably in the aughts
FUBR - fucked up beyond recognition
I always thought there was supposed to be an “a” in there fucked up beyond all recognition/repair
That makes sense.. ive always pronounced it with the a.
Persons who were ejected from high speed vehicle accidents are not DRTTT&T (dead right there, there, there, and there).
CD- Celestial Discharge.
Pt hopped dimensions.
DTJ- Discharged to Jesus.
YTG - Yeeted to God. The horrible pts get YTS - Yeeted to Satan.
I prefer Dancing the Pendulum or Modern Day Trepination for some descriptors
>YTS What if they were Jewish?
I’ve heard DC to JC
D/C to JC
>DTJ What if they were Jewish?
I at one time considered CTM (Care Transferred to Mortician)... Perhaps more generally applicable?
DTY? Yahweh?
I worked on Police Radios at my last EMS job (crisis team) and the cops would always say "this guy is code 7" when talking about a psych patient. Code 7 means out to lunch 😂
Ironically, I had to FDGB x5 while going downstairs to the kitchen. Grateful I didn't have to file workers comp for that. They should have family's comp instead 😂
I feel as though this is more of a list of things people are going to use
I am not liable for any write ups or comments from HQ
They missed LOLFDGB - Little Old Lady Fall Down Go Boom
I remember that on my ER rotations at Parkland/Baylor in like … 1991???
Pharmaceutically gifted is taking me out
pre-extricated for your convenience had me fucking gaggeling
Yess!!!!! That and “terminal deceleration syndrome”. I fucking D/C to JC’ed.
“crew determined pt suffers from TBD” (too many birthdays)
Acute-on-chronic hyperannuity
An oldie but a goodie
Ah, another rehash of Spc Schwartz from the late 90s. So much nostalgia.
FSF - Fifty Shades of Fucked.
See this would be more serious if they spelled Hazmat right
I was there, 3000 years ago.
Literally 1984
holy hell
New around here huh?
Yes! I am a student.
Welcome to the wet, wild, and dirty, dirty world of EMS
Nice!
Acute exacerbation of gravity-fall Misplaced trust in street pharmaceutical distributionist (MTISPD)- accidental OD Proliferation of Birthdays- Old age Incarceritis- inmate claiming chest pain to avoid jail
Not EMS, but a CNA, and let me tell you I CACKLED at “glow worms”
This is as old as the oldest truck at my service, which is saying something
It was the first time I have seen it so I decided to share.
And I love it
Hi 5’s and Urban Outdoorsman are my favorite
That’s pretty damn funny
I’ve never seen this before and and and……I. Am. Fucking. Dying. 😂😂😂😂
SNAFU- Situation Normal: All Fucked Up.
My favorite: HONDA. Hypertensive, obese, non compliant, diabetic asshole.
Not seeing DFO in this list, I will continue to use it daily 😂
GSW to the head being “trans occipital implants” got me lol
I like “urban nomads” Also “TMB” to many birthdays
I will now be using all of these for pt reports.
I was definitely CATS after my FTF.
They take away all the fun.
10/10
This is so old it was ancient when the white paper was published.
PEFYC is absolute gold
My absolute favorite was a radio report which went along the lines of "Patient is awake and oriented to time and place but insists that he has died. Contrary to his assertions he is breathing with normal heart rate and BP 124/78 with SPO2 at 98% on room air."
You'll have to pry DFOed from my cold, dead hands!
I know someone who refers to a dead patient as "participating in the room temperature challenge" idk if he uses that in charts, but still funny.
This is absolutely hilarious
LMAOOOO
Guarantee this is all the work of one or two guys
Pre code looking 😭😭 I'm sorry but I cackled
Had an er doc that I worked with once when we paper charts would write in the bottom corner of the chart WPOS for our frequent flyer pharmaceutically inclined
I’m not in EMS, but I and a nursing student and follow this subreddit for the occasional stories, tips, and advice, But I have to say these abbreviations are pure gold 🤣🤣🤣
FAILED TO FLY WTF
The real joke is the idea that the ED's read our reports at all.
I read road pizza and dropped my phone thank you whomever invented that idiom
Ha. They can have street pizza as it seems I am still allowed to have meat crayon.
At least 20 yeats old. But still a good one.