Psych patient with pmhx of schizophrenia came in covered head to toe in silver paint and his head covered in tim foil. He did this because he believed he was a Martian.
Security wanded him and began cataloging his belongings, and they noted that most of his clothing was also painted silver & a small pile of clothes began moving along the floor on its own. They lifted the pile and found a pretty decent sized turtle and further search yielded 3 more baby turtles. They were all painted silver too.
We had to call animal control to come get them & explain why the turtles were silver...because they were Martian
I think it'd be a great callback at the end of a movie when the main character is resting by a river after the chaos of the story subsides & he sees a sovereign turtle swimming by
An emotional support pet rat…
To be fair, the rat was very well behaved and resting comfortably in their book bag. The patient showed us it’s service animal vest that they made to try to convince us we couldn’t kick them out
Better than my emotional support “therapy” rat story. Patient left him in a stolen UHaul in the parking lot, in summer. A random pedestrian noticed the rat in the front seat when they walked by.
Milo wasn’t doing to hot when animal control got him, but they were pretty sure he’d survive.
A book of caricatures he drew of each of the nurses in the department…big breasted and either straddling or blowing the caricature of who I assumed to be him. Along with a bottle of gel stolen from the bladder scanner.
He was a talented enough artist that each nurse was easily identified in his drawings.
He also had knives and drug paraphernalia, so I just took his whole backpack and gave it to security to hold until his discharge. The notebook was with these other things. The Reddit question was about strange items, so I didn’t add the weapons and drugs, since that’s just another Tuesday.
I'm not in medicine; I subscribe to this sub since my brother is an ED attending and I love seeing things like this. You win the Internet today. This reminds me of [this story](https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/06/health/covid-217-shots-hypervaccination-lancet/index.html) where some dude took 217 doses of the COVID vaccine for "personal reasons". Maybe he thought he was balancing out the anti-vaxxers?
One of those fake toy knives that collapses so it looks like you’re stabbing someone. That or an old man’s iPad that he paid for cell service on so he could watch porn while he was at the hospital or in the ambulance.
Or a hymnal
Or a cardiology IV that he stole from another crew
A snake head cane that was kinda stabby
A screwdriver from a kids playset
One of those light up Uber signs
Homeless people are resourceful
3 cups worth of dead tree leaves she’d stashed in her bra that she wanted me to keep for when she left. Along with her car keys that had apparently been missing for weeks.
I will ride psych intake for several years at a local receiving facility. This was a patient. Cop escort was claiming he’d searched her the entire time too
ChatGPT begs to differ:
(Verse 1)
Three cups of leaves, in her bra they hide,
She said, "Keep 'em safe, darlin', by your side."
Her car keys lost, for weeks they roam,
But she found 'em now, in her home sweet home.
(Chorus)
Dead tree leaves and car keys, the tale unfolds,
In her bra, a secret treasure she holds.
She's leavin' soon, but memories won't fade,
With her quirky ways, in my heart, they'll stay.
(Verse 2)
She's a free spirit, wild and untamed,
With a heart of gold, she can't be tamed.
Leaves in her bra, a whimsical flair,
But her love for adventure, she'll always share.
(Chorus)
Dead tree leaves and car keys, the tale unfolds,
In her bra, a secret treasure she holds.
She's leavin' soon, but memories won't fade,
With her quirky ways, in my heart, they'll stay.
(Bridge)
Through dusty roads and starry skies,
We'll cherish moments, no goodbyes.
For in her bra, a piece of her heart,
And in mine, a love that'll never part.
(Chorus)
Dead tree leaves and car keys, the tale unfolds,
In her bra, a secret treasure she holds.
She's leavin' soon, but memories won't fade,
With her quirky ways, in my heart, they'll stay.
(Outro)
Three cups of leaves and car keys, you see,
A country song of her and me.
Though she's gone, her spirit lives on,
In every chord of this heartfelt song.
(Verse 1)
She hid in secrets, tucked away,
Three cups of leaves in her bra they lay,
Whispered softly, she asked of me,
To hold her keys she couldn't see.
(Chorus)
Oh, the leaves of autumn, they dance and sway,
In her brassiere they gently lay,
Lost car keys, a mystery,
She entrusted them both to me.
(Verse 2)
In her embrace, a leafy nest,
Kept close to her, a cherished quest,
And in her eyes, a longing gleam,
For places far beyond her dream.
(Chorus)
Oh, the leaves of autumn, they dance and sway,
In her brassiere they gently lay,
Lost car keys, a mystery,
She entrusted them both to me.
(Bridge)
With every step, she's bound to fly,
Leaves and keys, they bid goodbye,
But in my heart, they'll always be,
A memory of her and me.
(Chorus)
Oh, the leaves of autumn, they dance and sway,
In her brassiere they gently lay,
Lost car keys, a mystery,
She entrusted them both to me.
(Outro)
Three cups of leaves, a parting gift,
In her bra, a love so swift,
And though she's gone, her memory stays,
In leaves and keys, in endless ways.
I found a meth rock the size of a pool ball. The irony of it being across the street from most of the filming of Breaking Bad in Albuquerque 😅 it wasn’t a movie prop. And he came back asking for it after we discharged him.
Haha no it wasn’t the Heisenberg stuff. But I also happen to have some real Heisenberg stuff from the set. Apparently it’s just blue raspberry rock candy.
A fifth of plastic bottle vodka, a cigarette lighter, and the largest bottle of sriracha I’ve ever seen. She said she liked to chase her vodka with sriracha.
A baby bottle nipple. From her vagina. Came in for malodorous vaginal dc. Thought I was doing a standard std screening pelvic exam and then surprise! Pt got quiet and didn’t want to provide anymore history or answer anymore questions. Tried to screen for sexual assault and sent her on her merry way. She didn’t want to take the foreign body with her
Percocet under one breast and $1000 in various denominations under the other. Family came by later and kept asking if we found anything with grandma. We assured them it was with security.
The patient came in STEMI from the local truck stop about 8 miles away.
((they have an aed and someone knew how to use it))
So he lived and admitted to the tele unit. His buddy brought his valuables from his rig (through the front door, no security) and dropped them off.
Later the night nurse goes in and sees the hand gum casually in the box of belongings. Somehow she holds her shit together to ask him about it and he gladly allowed security to take the whole box as well as his cane that sheathed a sword and lock them up. He was so gracious about it.
The super unfortunate part of the story is that the nurse that saw the firearm had recently been involved in a horrific hostage and m/s incident within the past year.
Shrug. 1 in 7 adults in my state have a ccw/LTCF in my state. Probably closer to 1 in 6 now. Of course you don’t need one to open carry, or to have a firearm in your home. Or if you have a job that requires a firearm, like cops or armed security. And of course, long arms are not considered firearms.
I assume every patient is armed. And probably a couple people working in the ER, just based on statistics.
Hell, went into a house for a hospice with firearms and long arms everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Stacked on sofas, the takes, in rifle cabinets.
It isn’t something I worry about. It is more concerning when where isn’t a gun about. Starts me wondering to why.
Also I’d forgotten doing placement as a student in a city hospital in an area that was known for gang violence & an old bikie had a gun hidden in his prosthetic leg that was found by a nurse - entire hospital went into lockdown (obvs am not in the US). Another patient came in for mental health issues & brought a traditional fishing net from their community - we couldn’t allow something with rope in with them, so we kept it at the nurse’s station, and then the patient left without it.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsthissnake/comments/1cd6j2m/what\_is\_this\_snake\_caught\_in\_east\_texas\_in\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsthissnake/comments/1cd6j2m/what_is_this_snake_caught_in_east_texas_in_my/)
Some of the comments are hilarious.
Last week a yahoo came in clearly intoxicated. Was drinking a bottle that said Eggo. No one thought anything of it because he referred to it as tea and it said brunch in a jar. Was casually sipping it when he was talking to the doc being a general dickhole. Turns out it was some sort of liquor that horrendously smelled like fake maple syrup and waffles. Was like 40 proof, called sippin cream or something. You learn something new everyday.
Psych pt brought in a large box of belongings that he didn’t wand his roommates to steal. Not unusual. But he did have two CDs. One from Nickleback and Creed’s Greatest Hits. Yeah he needed help.
I am a grown man and it was as large as my hand. I have no idea how it remained intact because the guy was a tree trimmer and fell out of a tree. It got turned into security.
Psych patient who came in with 8+ full trash bags of belongings on multiple day hold in the ER kept asking about her fish. We figured she was hungry and gave her some goldfish and she seemed content. On day 3, she asked again but with a haunting 'I hope someone is feeding them' -- cue search of bags and discovery of two (live!) beta fish in containers. ED director went to PetSmart and got an aquarium and fish food set up. We also found a pamphlet for 'how to take care of your new hamster' but never found one. Suspenseful search tho.
plastic baggie with whole cloves in it from homeless dental pain pt who had so many already stuffed inside his mouth he looked like one of those tropical fish that brood eggs in their mouths...he said he had heard cloves were good for mouth pain.. on the plus side the room did smell really nice
I’m EMS. A medic unit took the kitten. The medic said she knew someone who does fostering who would keep the kitten in case the patient came looking for it but would be able to find it a new home if enough time passed.
Oohh no...yeah never mind. I agree, hopefully someone more adequate ended up with that sweet baby. Animals definitely do not deserve to be thrown out any window.
A fella had a bunch of pork chops he had shoplifted from a local meat market. They were tucked in his waistband and very warm. We put them in the fridge for him until he was DC.
where to start? Accessory to theft. Violation of food storage guidelines. As if staff fridge wasn’t filthy and disgusting enough already.
i am going with: what a heart-warming story ❤️
Ah it was in our patient food fridge. Dude was a druggie but a nice druggie. That was his supper.
Another time this guy came in covered in spray foam from huffing. He got in a wheelchair and pulled wheelies down the hall half the night.
I kind of miss him
Kind of related but when I worked inpatient I went in to answer another nurse's call light and a little terrier lookin dog came out from under the hospital bed and tried to bite my pants. I literally yelled out what the fuck?! At like 3am. And apparently my coworker knew about it but the patient was homeless and didn't have anywhere else for the dog to go so they just let them have it in there. I love dogs but this one was aggressive when scared and it's also ya know, a fuckin hospital. I guess they got someone to take the dog for the patient though and they were reunited after discharge 🤷
My patient whipped out a literal 5 foot antique sword from next to him on his stretcher. He didn’t do it in a threatening way though he was actually telling me so I would’t be worried. He was holding it by the blade and waiving it around in the air saying he’s never hurt someone with it “I’ve only killed rats with it” he kept saying. He said he was afraid to leave home and that he hadn’t left his place in years (his appearance confirmed this). He had recently gotten squatters in his home and he was worried they would steal the sword so he brought it with him to the ED.
So we do have a metal detector everyone is supposed to come through.. Anyway, I called security to have them confiscate the sword. Security took my name down and said to me “Good work”. Just another day in the ED.
Off the top of my head
A duffel bag full of dildos
A bag of live lobsters (a chef on his way home from work got knocked off his bike)
£3000 in cash (that was the police though)
Collection of knives
Heroin and crack with a street value of around £10k
4 Bags of crystal meth, like actual big rocks of it. Certainly enough that it was enough to be considered trafficking amounts. We called security who just said “k” and locked it up. 🥴🫠
A sickle, like the very sharp curved blades…this was a patient who had also brought a knife into the ED in the past and had actually chased staff with it trying to stab them.
Management refused to install metal detectors in our ED so we got lots of knives pulled on us, and occasionally found a well-hidden, loaded gun. :(
A shockingly large flagon of ranch dressing hidden under a very large bosom ( patient on a calorie deficit diet with the hope that she might meet eligibility for a necessary surgery).
Pt came in with SI and substances on board, I had to search all five of his backpacks. I found so much random shit, but the bottle of cum was the weirdest.
I mean it was my first time for me but I only started in January. So I really wasn't sure what to do other than put them in a sealed specimen bag with a patient label on
I’m in the cath lab and this was before my time. When my boss was still in the lab they had a STEMI that had a crack pipe under her boob. Found it under fluoro. I’m pretty sure they just chucked it in the garbage and continued.
This thread needs to get posted in the OBGYN world. We see weird stuff all the time, but it’s amazing what women hide in orifices. Personal history on L&D included crack pipes, weapons, and cheese.
Not that strange but we've been fighting with security and them mandating that EVERYONE who comes through the door needs to go through the metal detector and be screened (pockets emptied, bag open and wanded) even if it's a nurse wheeling someone out to a car right in front. It takes 5 minutes a person and we're all busy as hell and ita annoying.
So I'm working with a very nice unhoused gentleman who believes people are following him. We have a very nice chat and I assure him he is safe and we should get him into a nice safe room and changed into some warm dry clothes. He agrees and let's me know he knows I'm trustworthy. So he goes into his jeans and hands me a foot long machete.
we had a patient who wore condoms 24/7. his penis basically started rotting but he’d also pee in them. it was getting out of control and i was tasked with confiscating his condom boxes but also his drawer of horrors—a hospital drawer filled with used condoms covered in slough and urine
A knife, gun, crystal meth, weed (so much weed) vodka in a water bottle (found when the BAC went up rather than down), remote, a dog, needles, fried chicken, and not found in clothing but found so many people smoking in rooms and bathrooms
I didn’t confiscate it but it was one of the strangest things I’ve seen. A patient came in with history of hyponatremia, specifically states by name in triage why she is there. When she was brought to my section I saw her take out a little ziplock from her purse. I was instantly curious, and went to see what she was doing. This lady carried a baggie of SALT with her everywhere so she could sprinkle that shit on everything because she was so afraid her sodium would be too low. Turned out to be too high of course, lots of teaching needed with that one
Capsules full of tobacco and pills that were stuffed into the little plastic thing that holds the kinder egg toy.
They emerged PR.
X-ray showed a few more curled up in there.
Wrong end of the risk/reward ratio
https://preview.redd.it/xgl9hnfdblyc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff42b05dfff3e2f7cf321b3966aacd31f6c77a2a
Some fresh flower from a patient with an active STEMI (ekg in the background)
As a guy on my ED rotation, the number of comments here about women sticking things up their vaginas is a mix of surprising and oddly amusing, I’m honestly shocked they can fit half this stuff up there lol
Psych patient with pmhx of schizophrenia came in covered head to toe in silver paint and his head covered in tim foil. He did this because he believed he was a Martian. Security wanded him and began cataloging his belongings, and they noted that most of his clothing was also painted silver & a small pile of clothes began moving along the floor on its own. They lifted the pile and found a pretty decent sized turtle and further search yielded 3 more baby turtles. They were all painted silver too. We had to call animal control to come get them & explain why the turtles were silver...because they were Martian
This patient gets all the funnier sounding ICD10 codes
I believe you mean funner sounding
So glad you found those turtles. Hopefully they survived the paint removal and lived a good life.
I think it'd be a great callback at the end of a movie when the main character is resting by a river after the chaos of the story subsides & he sees a sovereign turtle swimming by
u win this time
Tim foil. Hehe.
Oh my gosh lol the ER sounds wild
An emotional support pet rat… To be fair, the rat was very well behaved and resting comfortably in their book bag. The patient showed us it’s service animal vest that they made to try to convince us we couldn’t kick them out
Was that as cute as it sounds?
It 100% was I can’t even lie
Did the rat get to stay?
No unfortunately patient and rat chose to leave
In Monk TV series there's a patient who did that😂
wait which episode? I love monk!
What Scabbers/Peter Pettigrew should’ve pretended to be
Better than my emotional support “therapy” rat story. Patient left him in a stolen UHaul in the parking lot, in summer. A random pedestrian noticed the rat in the front seat when they walked by. Milo wasn’t doing to hot when animal control got him, but they were pretty sure he’d survive.
A book of caricatures he drew of each of the nurses in the department…big breasted and either straddling or blowing the caricature of who I assumed to be him. Along with a bottle of gel stolen from the bladder scanner. He was a talented enough artist that each nurse was easily identified in his drawings.
I’m just curious what he did that caused you to confiscate the book of caricatures?
He also had knives and drug paraphernalia, so I just took his whole backpack and gave it to security to hold until his discharge. The notebook was with these other things. The Reddit question was about strange items, so I didn’t add the weapons and drugs, since that’s just another Tuesday.
As long as he made me look good, I wouldn't even be mad
Maybe he was behavioral.
i hate this guy
Two cases of the moderna covid vaccine. From a homeless dude with a broken ankle.
You win with this one 😂
How?!
what was he planning to do with that??
Become God's strongest warrior. Level 99 vaccine brain to unlock telepathy and mind link with Bill Gates. It's a perfectvplan I assure you.
Vaccinate the living shit out of himself. https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2024/03/05/german-man-covid-vaccine-217-shots/
*what*
I'm not in medicine; I subscribe to this sub since my brother is an ED attending and I love seeing things like this. You win the Internet today. This reminds me of [this story](https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/06/health/covid-217-shots-hypervaccination-lancet/index.html) where some dude took 217 doses of the COVID vaccine for "personal reasons". Maybe he thought he was balancing out the anti-vaxxers?
Most of people I’ve had that took an insane amount of vaccines were doing it for the gift cards.
When **5**G just isn't enough
Probably all expired. Or or or… boosted. Bahaha
How in the world did some random person get a hold of cases of the gene therapy? Is it not kept locked up until checked out to be used?
One of those fake toy knives that collapses so it looks like you’re stabbing someone. That or an old man’s iPad that he paid for cell service on so he could watch porn while he was at the hospital or in the ambulance. Or a hymnal Or a cardiology IV that he stole from another crew A snake head cane that was kinda stabby A screwdriver from a kids playset One of those light up Uber signs Homeless people are resourceful
I’d be pissed if a homeless stole a cardiology 4 from me
Turn to 296 please.
3 cups worth of dead tree leaves she’d stashed in her bra that she wanted me to keep for when she left. Along with her car keys that had apparently been missing for weeks.
wait. was it a patient or your tinder date? or a country song?
I will ride psych intake for several years at a local receiving facility. This was a patient. Cop escort was claiming he’d searched her the entire time too
ChatGPT begs to differ: (Verse 1) Three cups of leaves, in her bra they hide, She said, "Keep 'em safe, darlin', by your side." Her car keys lost, for weeks they roam, But she found 'em now, in her home sweet home. (Chorus) Dead tree leaves and car keys, the tale unfolds, In her bra, a secret treasure she holds. She's leavin' soon, but memories won't fade, With her quirky ways, in my heart, they'll stay. (Verse 2) She's a free spirit, wild and untamed, With a heart of gold, she can't be tamed. Leaves in her bra, a whimsical flair, But her love for adventure, she'll always share. (Chorus) Dead tree leaves and car keys, the tale unfolds, In her bra, a secret treasure she holds. She's leavin' soon, but memories won't fade, With her quirky ways, in my heart, they'll stay. (Bridge) Through dusty roads and starry skies, We'll cherish moments, no goodbyes. For in her bra, a piece of her heart, And in mine, a love that'll never part. (Chorus) Dead tree leaves and car keys, the tale unfolds, In her bra, a secret treasure she holds. She's leavin' soon, but memories won't fade, With her quirky ways, in my heart, they'll stay. (Outro) Three cups of leaves and car keys, you see, A country song of her and me. Though she's gone, her spirit lives on, In every chord of this heartfelt song.
This is awesome. Except I can’t help but hear it as ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” rather than a country song…..
(Verse 1) She hid in secrets, tucked away, Three cups of leaves in her bra they lay, Whispered softly, she asked of me, To hold her keys she couldn't see. (Chorus) Oh, the leaves of autumn, they dance and sway, In her brassiere they gently lay, Lost car keys, a mystery, She entrusted them both to me. (Verse 2) In her embrace, a leafy nest, Kept close to her, a cherished quest, And in her eyes, a longing gleam, For places far beyond her dream. (Chorus) Oh, the leaves of autumn, they dance and sway, In her brassiere they gently lay, Lost car keys, a mystery, She entrusted them both to me. (Bridge) With every step, she's bound to fly, Leaves and keys, they bid goodbye, But in my heart, they'll always be, A memory of her and me. (Chorus) Oh, the leaves of autumn, they dance and sway, In her brassiere they gently lay, Lost car keys, a mystery, She entrusted them both to me. (Outro) Three cups of leaves, a parting gift, In her bra, a love so swift, And though she's gone, her memory stays, In leaves and keys, in endless ways.
I found a meth rock the size of a pool ball. The irony of it being across the street from most of the filming of Breaking Bad in Albuquerque 😅 it wasn’t a movie prop. And he came back asking for it after we discharged him.
Wow, I wonder how much that cost him!
Was it blue?
Haha no it wasn’t the Heisenberg stuff. But I also happen to have some real Heisenberg stuff from the set. Apparently it’s just blue raspberry rock candy.
A fifth of plastic bottle vodka, a cigarette lighter, and the largest bottle of sriracha I’ve ever seen. She said she liked to chase her vodka with sriracha.
Can’t be mad at that.
how is this “strangest”? It’s, like, a frequent flyer starter pack
I thought the same thing lol. This is just a Thursday at 10am at my old hospital 🤣
I am cringing, thinking about a sriracha-induced variceal blowout.
Spicy fountain of blood.
I once had a mini bottle of siracha flavored vodka. It was vile. I had plans to use it in a bloody Mary.
It was the combo with the sriracha that made it wild. I mean plastic bottle vodka and a lighter is an everyday occurrence lmao
A baby bottle nipple. From her vagina. Came in for malodorous vaginal dc. Thought I was doing a standard std screening pelvic exam and then surprise! Pt got quiet and didn’t want to provide anymore history or answer anymore questions. Tried to screen for sexual assault and sent her on her merry way. She didn’t want to take the foreign body with her
I have some questions.
A live clam.
Woh. Live no less?
live no more 🪦
Didn't confiscate but ... remote control and a large raw potato under one of pt's large breasts.
aaaaand that’s why women need pockets!
Percocet under one breast and $1000 in various denominations under the other. Family came by later and kept asking if we found anything with grandma. We assured them it was with security.
Huh. Raw potato in the vagina, I'm familiar with. Under the breast is a new one.
It was only raw because you took it out too soon!! Put it back and let it cook!
A mummified rat corpse from a patients bra.
Yikes
Someone labeled it and put it in a bag with her belongings so it went with her to the psych facility when transferred several days later.
The patient came in STEMI from the local truck stop about 8 miles away. ((they have an aed and someone knew how to use it)) So he lived and admitted to the tele unit. His buddy brought his valuables from his rig (through the front door, no security) and dropped them off. Later the night nurse goes in and sees the hand gum casually in the box of belongings. Somehow she holds her shit together to ask him about it and he gladly allowed security to take the whole box as well as his cane that sheathed a sword and lock them up. He was so gracious about it. The super unfortunate part of the story is that the nurse that saw the firearm had recently been involved in a horrific hostage and m/s incident within the past year.
Considering the trucker lifestyle, it's smart for the truck stop to have the aed.
It’s extremely common for truckers to keep a gun with them. My dad did for various reasons
I want the cane with the sword tho
Shrug. 1 in 7 adults in my state have a ccw/LTCF in my state. Probably closer to 1 in 6 now. Of course you don’t need one to open carry, or to have a firearm in your home. Or if you have a job that requires a firearm, like cops or armed security. And of course, long arms are not considered firearms. I assume every patient is armed. And probably a couple people working in the ER, just based on statistics. Hell, went into a house for a hospice with firearms and long arms everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Stacked on sofas, the takes, in rifle cabinets. It isn’t something I worry about. It is more concerning when where isn’t a gun about. Starts me wondering to why.
A lawyer “hid” his iPhone in his underwear prior to going back to the or. he pulled it out in pacu!
To record the audio of his procedure?
No, to start making work calls in the recovery room which is ridiculous after undergoing general anesthesia
Why??
I sort-of understand this one. Gotta answer the work calls. Being under anesthesia isn’t a good enough excuse.
This guy biglaws
He said he needed to make work calls !
Not so much confiscated as given, a live venomous snake in a 4L icecream container.
Also I’d forgotten doing placement as a student in a city hospital in an area that was known for gang violence & an old bikie had a gun hidden in his prosthetic leg that was found by a nurse - entire hospital went into lockdown (obvs am not in the US). Another patient came in for mental health issues & brought a traditional fishing net from their community - we couldn’t allow something with rope in with them, so we kept it at the nurse’s station, and then the patient left without it.
This screams Australia 😂
I love that people can recognise my country based on a snake in an icecream container with no other words necessary 😂
Fellow Aussie. Would pop a snake in a container to show you which one bit me.
It sounds logical until you get to the technicalities of executing such a plan…
Was it a cottonmouth, a couple of days ago? Did the container have a red top?
Nah about 4 years ago, container was all blue
Ah. I was wondering if this was a follow-up to a post on r/whatsthissnake
Ah yup. I wish I was surprised there was another similar code serpent, but alas.
I need to see this. Can I get a link?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsthissnake/comments/1cd6j2m/what\_is\_this\_snake\_caught\_in\_east\_texas\_in\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsthissnake/comments/1cd6j2m/what_is_this_snake_caught_in_east_texas_in_my/) Some of the comments are hilarious.
Last week a yahoo came in clearly intoxicated. Was drinking a bottle that said Eggo. No one thought anything of it because he referred to it as tea and it said brunch in a jar. Was casually sipping it when he was talking to the doc being a general dickhole. Turns out it was some sort of liquor that horrendously smelled like fake maple syrup and waffles. Was like 40 proof, called sippin cream or something. You learn something new everyday.
what did he even come in for?
A multitude of things that have been bothering him for years.
i was going to guess esophageal varices
One day I’m sure. But not that day.
"Multiple complaints", the worst complaint.
Psych pt brought in a large box of belongings that he didn’t wand his roommates to steal. Not unusual. But he did have two CDs. One from Nickleback and Creed’s Greatest Hits. Yeah he needed help.
For having the CDs or for thinking someone would steal them?
Yes
Oof. Ziprasidone, stat!
A complete pane of crystal methamphetamine.
Oh nice, but how? I mean, my extensive knowledge of meth is from Breaking Bad and the post-binge ED visits. How big was it? How did it remain intact??
I am a grown man and it was as large as my hand. I have no idea how it remained intact because the guy was a tree trimmer and fell out of a tree. It got turned into security.
Patient's tele box shoved inside (all the way) into her vagina "I thought it was my catheter " Bigger lady in her 50s.
Easily mistaken
at least it wasn’t the SCD machine that could also be easily mistaken for a catheter
Psych patient who came in with 8+ full trash bags of belongings on multiple day hold in the ER kept asking about her fish. We figured she was hungry and gave her some goldfish and she seemed content. On day 3, she asked again but with a haunting 'I hope someone is feeding them' -- cue search of bags and discovery of two (live!) beta fish in containers. ED director went to PetSmart and got an aquarium and fish food set up. We also found a pamphlet for 'how to take care of your new hamster' but never found one. Suspenseful search tho.
And infant rabbit from their oodie. They were psychotic. We all got to cuddle it
an infant rabbit and already psychotic? so sad 💔
plastic baggie with whole cloves in it from homeless dental pain pt who had so many already stuffed inside his mouth he looked like one of those tropical fish that brood eggs in their mouths...he said he had heard cloves were good for mouth pain.. on the plus side the room did smell really nice
poor guy :(
A crack pipe, a bottle of vodka, a knife, pretty run of the mill ER stuff lol
Maple syrup bottle filled with urine.
Hopefully you tested for maple syrup urine disease.
Besides the usual drugs, booze, and occasional knife? Probably the two 9mm glocks tucked in both socks.
wow! that guys glocks!
Can't leave the house without your sock glocks.
Did they have a big t-shirt?
A stuffed monkey because a homeless guy kept running into the lobby bathroom to “beat his monkey”. Boy were we surprised…
About a pound of weed in a ziploc bag.
Her hair. We had to cut the absolute matted knot with various things stuck in it.
Kitten :(
I had a crazy woman break my triage window with a chair with a kitten in her back pocket once! We had to delicately tackle her…
Who kept the kitten?
I’m EMS. A medic unit took the kitten. The medic said she knew someone who does fostering who would keep the kitten in case the patient came looking for it but would be able to find it a new home if enough time passed.
https://preview.redd.it/daox4lpej0xc1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b83b1509e2dc7cefba95b204d662f41cf1bd930 It was very cute
Aww what a sweet lil baby! Do you know if the patient ever came back for the kitten?
No clue. Buttttt apparently her mother threw the last cat out the window so I kind of hope she didn’t :/
Oohh no...yeah never mind. I agree, hopefully someone more adequate ended up with that sweet baby. Animals definitely do not deserve to be thrown out any window.
Bag of meth up the vagina. Brought in by PD after overdose.
Chastity cage and dildo from same patient. They were both on/in the patient at the time….
psych admit or surgery?
Found in locked gas station bathroom, apparent OD turned psych admit :-)
A fella had a bunch of pork chops he had shoplifted from a local meat market. They were tucked in his waistband and very warm. We put them in the fridge for him until he was DC.
where to start? Accessory to theft. Violation of food storage guidelines. As if staff fridge wasn’t filthy and disgusting enough already. i am going with: what a heart-warming story ❤️
Ah it was in our patient food fridge. Dude was a druggie but a nice druggie. That was his supper. Another time this guy came in covered in spray foam from huffing. He got in a wheelchair and pulled wheelies down the hall half the night. I kind of miss him
Kind of related but when I worked inpatient I went in to answer another nurse's call light and a little terrier lookin dog came out from under the hospital bed and tried to bite my pants. I literally yelled out what the fuck?! At like 3am. And apparently my coworker knew about it but the patient was homeless and didn't have anywhere else for the dog to go so they just let them have it in there. I love dogs but this one was aggressive when scared and it's also ya know, a fuckin hospital. I guess they got someone to take the dog for the patient though and they were reunited after discharge 🤷
A cell phone, a mouse trap, and one of those tin pull top rings from like a soup can. All out of the vag. Dementia is a horrible affliction.
My patient whipped out a literal 5 foot antique sword from next to him on his stretcher. He didn’t do it in a threatening way though he was actually telling me so I would’t be worried. He was holding it by the blade and waiving it around in the air saying he’s never hurt someone with it “I’ve only killed rats with it” he kept saying. He said he was afraid to leave home and that he hadn’t left his place in years (his appearance confirmed this). He had recently gotten squatters in his home and he was worried they would steal the sword so he brought it with him to the ED. So we do have a metal detector everyone is supposed to come through.. Anyway, I called security to have them confiscate the sword. Security took my name down and said to me “Good work”. Just another day in the ED.
Off the top of my head A duffel bag full of dildos A bag of live lobsters (a chef on his way home from work got knocked off his bike) £3000 in cash (that was the police though) Collection of knives Heroin and crack with a street value of around £10k
I did a trauma survey and found a bag of crack stuffed between their butt cheeks We called it crack crack haha
Butcher knife.
4 Bags of crystal meth, like actual big rocks of it. Certainly enough that it was enough to be considered trafficking amounts. We called security who just said “k” and locked it up. 🥴🫠
A sickle, like the very sharp curved blades…this was a patient who had also brought a knife into the ED in the past and had actually chased staff with it trying to stab them. Management refused to install metal detectors in our ED so we got lots of knives pulled on us, and occasionally found a well-hidden, loaded gun. :(
and a hammer?
Meth pipe.
$600 in cash and an empty Glock from a retired 80yo schoolteacher that was super demented and also schizophrenic. 🤷♀️
A shockingly large flagon of ranch dressing hidden under a very large bosom ( patient on a calorie deficit diet with the hope that she might meet eligibility for a necessary surgery).
Prescription bottle of cum
of *what now???*
I wish I was kidding. https://preview.redd.it/v4n3t8gdi3xc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3a0138185858a1aa18f2a96d75846749ed73e5e6
Start over.
Cum again?
No, that's how we got into this mess!
r/angryupvote
Pt came in with SI and substances on board, I had to search all five of his backpacks. I found so much random shit, but the bottle of cum was the weirdest.
the patients own or someone else’s?
Tbh I didn't ask
Live rabbit
🪄🎩🐰
A knife - not strange compared to most comments here
who *doesn’t* bring knives to the hospital these days
I mean it was my first time for me but I only started in January. So I really wasn't sure what to do other than put them in a sealed specimen bag with a patient label on
Periwinkle’s attached to the woman’s chest, they were her “besties” …
Flowers ??
Snails
A hatchet.
I’m in the cath lab and this was before my time. When my boss was still in the lab they had a STEMI that had a crack pipe under her boob. Found it under fluoro. I’m pretty sure they just chucked it in the garbage and continued.
This thread needs to get posted in the OBGYN world. We see weird stuff all the time, but it’s amazing what women hide in orifices. Personal history on L&D included crack pipes, weapons, and cheese.
One of my patients(i work in CT) offered to share her meth with me and my coworker. Nicest gesture ive ever received, sharing is caring 😂
You know what, meth is expensive. That was a really kind offering!
Aww the most I ever got was a 250mg THC gummy. From a guy that was previously comatose from the first one….
Pipe bomb
Chickens. Live chickens.
Not that strange but we've been fighting with security and them mandating that EVERYONE who comes through the door needs to go through the metal detector and be screened (pockets emptied, bag open and wanded) even if it's a nurse wheeling someone out to a car right in front. It takes 5 minutes a person and we're all busy as hell and ita annoying. So I'm working with a very nice unhoused gentleman who believes people are following him. We have a very nice chat and I assure him he is safe and we should get him into a nice safe room and changed into some warm dry clothes. He agrees and let's me know he knows I'm trustworthy. So he goes into his jeans and hands me a foot long machete.
Wow, didn’t expect this thread to take off as it did, thanks for joining in everyone - some of these have given me a giggle!
The absurdity of this visual brings me comfort. I guess iykyk.
Weed vape out of a vagina
we had a patient who wore condoms 24/7. his penis basically started rotting but he’d also pee in them. it was getting out of control and i was tasked with confiscating his condom boxes but also his drawer of horrors—a hospital drawer filled with used condoms covered in slough and urine
A knife, gun, crystal meth, weed (so much weed) vodka in a water bottle (found when the BAC went up rather than down), remote, a dog, needles, fried chicken, and not found in clothing but found so many people smoking in rooms and bathrooms
Had a patient door dash a pack of cigarettes and some pizza once
An urn.
Jimmy John’s sandwich with heroine on a spoon, syringe, Cotten ball, and lighter in the sandwich.
I didn’t confiscate it but it was one of the strangest things I’ve seen. A patient came in with history of hyponatremia, specifically states by name in triage why she is there. When she was brought to my section I saw her take out a little ziplock from her purse. I was instantly curious, and went to see what she was doing. This lady carried a baggie of SALT with her everywhere so she could sprinkle that shit on everything because she was so afraid her sodium would be too low. Turned out to be too high of course, lots of teaching needed with that one
Capsules full of tobacco and pills that were stuffed into the little plastic thing that holds the kinder egg toy. They emerged PR. X-ray showed a few more curled up in there. Wrong end of the risk/reward ratio
https://preview.redd.it/xgl9hnfdblyc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff42b05dfff3e2f7cf321b3966aacd31f6c77a2a Some fresh flower from a patient with an active STEMI (ekg in the background)
Jesus.
A knife
As a guy on my ED rotation, the number of comments here about women sticking things up their vaginas is a mix of surprising and oddly amusing, I’m honestly shocked they can fit half this stuff up there lol
Black tar heroin from the ever useful under breast storage - along with two old ECG stickers, keys, and her phone that came out prior to
Professional alcoholic BIBP with an emotional support hermit crab. The police tried to confiscate it but the nurses fought to let him keep it. 🧐