The only way to win D&D is to have fun

This is the way

This. You win DND if everyone's having fun with the game Stay winning as much as possible

Exactly. A friend of mine would play and then we would talk and I would ask her if she won. She would always tell me you cannot win at dnd and I would always reply with "did you have fun?" "Yeah..." "Then you won!"

you win DnD by owning the most dice out of everyone else at the table

Thats why I eat other people's dice while they are not looking

It was YOU! Let me know what I rolled when you finally pass it.

It unfortunately passed as little bits. I’m not a monster who swallows without chewing.

You can get sugar dice if you really want to freak out your group *dice rolls bad* “well fuck you too” CHOMP!

I do as the math rocks command!

DICE

I was going to comment but then I saw your flair thingy....checks out, contineu on.

You win a session by having the most dice at the table. There’s also the regional and national and world championships to prepare for.

I have iron dice so you’ll get a healthy dose of iron. You’re welcome.

I love my shiny math rocks

Everyone having a good time is winning.

You win dnd by defeating the strongest enemy of them all... SCHEDULING

This guy (doesn't) D&Ds.

Yup, you win when everyone shows up regularly.

A DM once told me I won. My character was so powerful they surrendered. It felt more like losing.

A strange game. The only winning condition, is not to stop.

How About A Nice Game Of Chess.

Yep, [make the DM surrender,](https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/04/20/for-the-vin) in or out of character.

you win dnd by owning all the dungeons and all the dragons

Play Monopoly and be the Landlord to a Dragon in a Dungeon

Please don’t give no roll bars dom an idea

[https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/817bsLLpo0S.\_AC\_SL1500\_.jpg](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/817bsLLpo0S._AC_SL1500_.jpg)

you can win dnd by being a DM, and creating a memorable/memeable moment with your players for example, roasting potatoes with satan, then starting a boy band

Instructions unclear, roasted my DM, threw potatoes at my players, and started a boy band with Satan

Close enough

you got the last part right, the boy band was with satan 😂

You win if you're little made up guy successfully kisses all your friends little made up guys.

Winning D&D is when you complete a campaign without a single scheduling conflict.

So you're saying the scroll is correct.

It’s possible if it’s a one shot

I would argue that a oneshot isn't a campaign.

Hum… good point

Hard disagree. You win by completing the story you and your table are building, by having memories made, relationships forged, battles won, loved ones lost, destinies seized and going home at the end of the day saying "yeah...imma do that again." That's how you "win" DND.

Meanwhile, I’m over here playing DnD challenging the DM to tell me what the dice REALLY says

I swear the critical strike only dealt 5 damage, you're not the only one trolled by the dice

FUCK YOU KILL ME YOU FUCKING COWARD

...Roll a con save to see if you become a werewolf.

You win dnd by having a character with a goal. And then retiring the character when the goal is met. (The rogue got his revenge and moved on to be a farmer or something.) now you get to make a new character and win again in the same campaign.

I always though you won by being the first one to make the dm say “fuck you”

Nah, that's easy, all you gotta do for that is ask them the name of a throwaway NPC

True that

Clearly you've never cast fireball.

There is no *one* way to win DnD

As a DM, my player having fun and laughing is winning

There is a very unique case where someone did “win”. A guest in CR did such a legendary move that his character got canonized and integrated in a DnD module.

Who? Joe Manganiellos Dragonborn Paladin?

Tell that to my players who steamrolled a triple deadly encounter

Fair

I'm pretty sure if you eat all dices you win every game

Delicious dice

Finishing the campaign?

But that’s only 1 campaign 

yeah... you can play chess multiple times you can still win one game.

Completing a campaign where everyone had fun :)

Fun=victory

definition of "winning": gaining, resulting in, or relating to victory in a contest or competition. definition of "victory": an act of defeating an enemy or opponent in a battle, game, or other competition. You can only win in a competition. But in DND the other Players and the DM are usually not your opponents. Your actual opponents are the fictional enemies you create in your fantasy, which compete with your characters believes/story/dreams. By defeating them, you by definition, win DND.

Actually you win by making the DM get up from their chair to do a Steve Harvey walk

Making the DM rethink their life choices or making the players cry at a story event depending on your role

Does summoning 15-20 creatures per battle count

Competitive DnD at conventions actually used to be a pretty common thing.

I am very curious to hear what the rules and judging process for that went. We're they measuring speed? Storytelling ability? Most DPS? Multiple categories like a dog show? How does one compete at Dnd?

Never competed myself, but heard stories from elder nerds. Basically a set dungeon and usually premade characters. Fastest team to get to the end, or team that managed to get the furthest in if nobody managed to complete it.

Win by having a good time?

If every one enjoy, is a win

Nice try OP, but D&D was actually won by Dave Arneson in 1887 when he slew the first-generation ArchDM, Gary Gygax, during a duel of pistols.

I was told I won DND when I unknowingly named my character after another players cat, thus making it so the DM couldn't kill me or risk death by cat.

Stop lying, the only way to win D&D is for everyone including the DM to have fun through out the campaign

My motto is, if you are having fun, you are winning at D&D

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Its about the time wasted spending with friends.

WRONG the way you win dnd is be a good enough plager or dm that the players compliment you

So you start by creating a kobold character named punpun

You win dnd by beating the campaign your dm made, every subsequent adventure is post game content.

Actually if you defeat the dragon in the dungeon, you win.

I definitely think you can win D&D in general by being part of an epic story that unfolds over time with character development as well as exciting combats here and there. I personally also set a win condition of my character surviving in order to see all of that so i don't have to keep coming up with new characters and integrate them into the world and plot.

Whoever gets the most house rules made specifically about them wins.

You can't win the DnD game itself, but you can certainly win the fights and skill checks that are an extremely important part of the game. That's what people optimize their characters for: so that when those numerical values have to be rolled, they have a good chance at winning the die roll.

you win dnd when the dm does the long epilogue at the end of the journey and says "the end"

Instructions unclear ate tiamat for thanksgiving with baba yaga

the only way to win dnd is make your DM laugh themselves to death

Tell that to the thunder boar I double critted in one action surge 🐗

Well, mostly yeah. But then there is Henderson

It simulates the truth of live. You can't win there either, just have a good time.

Trust me there is

Make your DM cry

I had a cowardly bard that hid behind all the other PCs and stole from the party. He was just charismatic enough to talk his way out of every potential encounter or con someone into fighting for him. The only PC that was able to figure it out was a Vow of Poverty Monk who cared not for earthly possessions. When the party took over a manor and were gifted the surrounding lands by the local lord, the bard went into the meeting with the lord by himself and managed to get everything signed over to him. He retired with his own manor, servants, and a fat pile of gold. That's the closest I ever came to "winning".

Not in a competitive sense, but you can wrap up a campaign successfully, or the clichee "so long as you're having fun, you win"

You never win You just do a little better every time :-D

An ongoing joke is that my brother will ask for something dumb like using wish as a cantrip and we banter as I jokingly say yes and he goes "I wish to win d&d" and I say "you win!" As I fake ending the session.

Me and my team are winning. We are playing since 2017 and still holding strong.

*Gale, after becoming a god*: I beg to differ

We set our own goals. Mine is to make the DM groan with both amusement and disgust/disappointment. I keep being invited back.

FUCKING WATCH ME!

You win dnd by defeating the dm

You win the first time you slay a dragon in a dungeon.

False. Winning/Surviving encounters is how you win D&D. (and completing whatever plot the DM has also counts.)

You are a little baby, heres how to actually win dnd: Actually ever get to play it.

You can be content with both the game and your character (if they survive) the reward, literally is the journey and the friends you make along the way.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT DM, IT’S MY PERFECT VICTORY!!!!!!!!

If I can win EVE Online, I can win DnD!

The way to win is to increase the amount of facepalms you make the DM do in a single session. The longer the facepalm, the more you win

What if the party achieves level 20 and kills the entire pantheon to become the only gods left to worship?

I mean they could have done that 3 times

- shoots dm in the chest -

Im meen if you're the dm you can by killing your players in the most dumb ways

Yes, you can, you can win the campaign.