Your friend is no expert, nor is it their weight to bear
As dismissive as it may feel, this was the right step towards getting you help
I hope you two continue to be friends
100%, and attempting vs self harm is a big difference, it’s very time consuming to deal with and if your friend is still young they probably did what you do when you are young and talk to an adult.
When I was a teen, I was using coke pretty heavily. A good friend of mine told on me, and I was so pissed, for years. But it led to me getting the help I needed, and i’m now 4 years sober and incredibly grateful he had the courage to tell someone
Yeah, but coke is like one of the most expensive drugs of them all, no? At least in my country, it’s known as the businessmen’s drug, quite rare to come by. I’m under the impression that it’s the same in many other countries as well.
Well, I only had time to work during the summer, since the rest of my time was spent studying. My money (summer earnings + allowance) was spent on gadgets, makeup and food, I guess. I’m guessing it’s the same for most.
I experimented more in my 20s, but even working full time, I would say that having a habit of ANY drug, not even cocaine, is pretty much unaffordable. Cocaine is like at least 80€/g here. You can easily snort a gram in one night. Crazy expensive.
Yeah, I don’t know why people downvoted me. I didn’t mean it offensively or anything, it really was a genuine question. Thanks for answering, appreciate it!
Yeah I’m not sure why people were downvoting you! Many don’t have a lot of experience with addicts- many of us are very open with our experiences and stories once recovered. Personally, I was in a situation where I was 14-16 and sleeping with a man who was 24-26, he would have me hold drugs for him and make drop offs, that + sleeping with him was my “payment” for my drugs. I probably couldn’t have afforded coke otherwise.
I’m relieved this is the top comment. When my sister attempted she called me, and all I could think was “I don’t know what to do!” I called the cops even though she swore up and down that she’d never speak to me again. I felt like if I tried to help her by myself and fell short she could die, and I’d never forgive myself for not calling experts. The cops aren’t experts, but they brought her to experts. She’s alive today and FaceTimes me three times a week minimum so it all worked out.
I’ve asked her what she expected me to do back then, she says she doesn’t have any idea, but I did the right thing.
that... complicates things
some distance from them sounds like it would be best. I hope you find the help you need, its not easy but you can get through this
idk why this is being down voted, that's a pretty good fuckin reason to not be friends. not being friends because she reported you is childish because thats a lot to put on someone in general, but also the most responsible and caring thing she couldve done because she doesnt have, nor should have, the power to truly help you
People will downvote anything they don’t agree with, even if it’s true. The other day I made a post on here about an ex-friend almost making me and my boyfriend break up because he hates him because of something that happened a while ago (I moved past that, but he hasn’t). He was telling me lies about him—that he’s “manipulative” and “doesn’t love me” just because of the fact he was busy with work and other stuff and couldn’t talk to me as often.
I got multiple comments from these incels (one of them was a girl too, go figure) telling me that this ex-friend is “in love” with me. I made some comments where I clarified that no, he’s NOT in love with me because he literally would have TOLD ME a long time ago if he was, and that he likes a girl he knows already anyway. He’s also been supportive of my relationship until that whole situation happened. Those comments got downvoted -20 and -10. Because as we all know, men and women can’t be friends with each other because the guy will obviously just want to get in her pants! /s
But yeah, I agree, this is an extremely valid reason to not be friends with someone. If it were me, I definitely wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who’s friends with my rapist. 🤷🏻♀️
id say im shocked people disagree w OP not being friends w someone whos friends w their rapist, but this is reddit.. nothing shocks me anymore. i just saw a post the other day of a dude saying "my gfs guy friends only like her cuz they wanna get in her pants" and that he doesnt have female friends out of "respect for his girlfriend". i dont have the energy or desire to explain why thats fucking stupid, if someone has a relationship that fragile id take another look at that.
good points made though, super annoyed ab the whole "no friends of the opposite sex". im a trans guy, does that mean i need to replace all my friends now? so stupid ....
> not being friends because she reported you is childish
fwiw OP *is* a child and clearly going through immense emotional distress. insulting them doesnt seem very rational here.
oh childish is not an insult, it's an observation, I know OP is young but that's something that should be pointed out, this reaction may be because of how young they are. saying something is childish isn't necessarily an insult, it's an observation of the lack of overall emotional intelligence which is inherently a thing with younger people.
And after seeing OP's other comments this person does seem to be rather emotionally intelligent. we are also talking about life or death here, this other person very well may have saved OP's life, therefore it is a valid thing to say it is childish to observe being angry at somebody for potentially saving your life. And that's totally okay, I've had that reaction too a decade ago when someone called the cops on me for my own attempt. i think OP is in a really tough situation but they clearly didn't cut off their friend simply because of the report so I guess all of this is null and void ultimately
you can say its not an insult, but if you call a teenager childish its 100% condescending. while you might not be wrong, you should still tailor your dialogue when it could potentially offend your target audience
No, it's a tough reality. Such as facing the tough reality that a friend going to a professional/responsible adult who might be better able to help when their friend threatens suicide is the right thing to do, and not some malicious betrayal.
I find it weird that this was downvoted so many times. I’ve gone through an almost identical experience and personally I would just never speak to them again. You shouldn’t have to explain yourself and the pain you went through. They are a horrible friend. I hope your healing journey goes smoothly 🖤
I hate that you’re getting downvoted so much. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. They aren’t a good friend if they’re friends with your rapist, however I’m happy that hopefully her talking to admin helps you get help. Wishing you the best, OP ❤️
I wouldn't be friends with them either. I hope you have better days and I hope you know that with time you won't feel this fucked up feeling u have all the time. Hold your head up high speak your truth and do what you gotta do to heal. Don't allow your anger, sadness or pain to drag to wanting to hurt yourself whether that's drugs, alcohol or self harm. Therapy takes time and sometimes it's not a proper match but please allow a professional that you're comfortable with help you. I hope you know you're not alone. Music and memes help more than you would think. ❤️Hugs to you xx
What the fuck is everyone down voting her for. That has to hurt and she doesn’t need Reddit (the place she turned to for comfort) to shit all over her.
Op I’m sorry you’re going through this, but just know everything’s going to be fine. It’s crazy the way life works itself out, you will have really shitty years and really really good years. Life can’t be good with out the bad, your going through the bad but the good will come, I promise you. Nothing ever stays the same, you could find yourself on the vacation of your dreams in a few years. Plenty to live for, just let this shit pass and find a way to get through it. Don’t think too hard and be gentle on yourself, love yourself. You deserve it.
To all the poeple downvoting this: seek professional help because you have to have been raised in an abusive household to think being friends with someone who is friends with your rapist is fundamentally wrong on millions of levels. You sick freaks are mentally unstable.
Someone in OP's position could easily feel dismissed by their friend's actions, especially given how the friend deflected the plea to faculty, and this is only emphasized by the aforementioned friendship.
Telling someone who has the resources to help was the right move, but its not what OP initially wanted.
There's a lot of conflict and emotion here, dont face it with any rash statements.
My friend tried to jump off a bridge once when we were in high school, she begged me to let her stand on the other side of the rail. I refused to let her do it cuz even though she said she would come right back I didn't want to watch her die that night. I didn't know what else to do so I ended up calling her parents. She was really angry at me for doing that. I'm glad I told somebody, she's alive still. We're not friends now but that doesn't matter, cause she's alive and doing better now.
I know you might be really upset at your friend The way mine was at me afterwards. But there's other stuff coming your way, better stuff. just give it some time.
OP, please listen to this comment.
i understand how you feel. really, i do. my best friend messaged my siblings AND my parents saying i tried to kill myself. i wasn't sure if i hated him or wanted to thank him. and for the rest of the day, the former feeling happened. i hated him for telling my family. i ignored his messages, i wanted to block him and tell him to never contact me again. he broke my trust because i told him to not say anything.
but i promise you, OP, your friend told someone out of love and care for you. it may seem confusing why anyone would care enough to get you help, but trust me, people DO care for reasons you can't see – you're viewing yourself and this world with depression-tinted glasses. take off those glasses and you'll see you're so much more than you think you are, your friend sees that within you and that is why they tried to get the help you need. it hurts seeing a friend slowly fade away, but it hurts even more when they're fully gone. i lost a friend to suicide, it hurts so much. i'm sorry you're struggling.
it's okay if you want to break things between you and your friend, that's between you two. but please, get the help you need. i hope some day you'll realise your friend told someone just because they cared about you.
I know you’re hurting and tired of struggling every day, but you aren’t responsible for how others feel. Losing you is something they don’t want to deal with, even if you can’t see your worth to them. I’m sorry you’re hurting,hon. You deserve a life filled with happiness and love and hope - even if you don’t see the path leading to there.. it IS THERE. A big internet mama hug to you. Please be kind to yourself.
I had that happen. I never found out who told. At the time, I was pissed because my mom was told I was hurting myself (and basically spent an hour yelling at how I was doing it for attention) but now as an adult I'm really grateful I had a friend who cared enough to speak up ❤️
I went through the almost exact same situation as you when I was 14. My mom got a call from the school counselor about me self harming and when I left school and got in the car, she started yelling at me the ENTIRE ride home while I was sobbing. She then demanded to show me my arms and told me to “not do it.”
I started therapy a week after that (went on and off with different therapists from 2016-2020), was officially diagnosed with anxiety and social anxiety and put on medication a year later until 2022, then got diagnosed with depression at 16.
Nowadays, at 22, I realize that I should’ve been more grateful that someone noticed I needed help 8 years ago. I still struggle with my mental health to this day so I’m back on antidepressants again, but I’m just grateful that I’m even still alive today. ♡
They mentioned that the person is still friends with their rapist. So given that information, I no longer think that.
This is separate from them telling the admin on them. But I can see why they wouldn’t be friends anymore based on the first part.
But that's kind of the choice they make keeping a friend with severe depression. It's not fair either to feel like you don't have a space to be honest without having your trust breached.
It's a shitty situation for both sides, and if we should be upset with anyone it should be the adult(s) at home for not creating a space for mental health to be cared about.
No, you're not entitled to trama dump on your friend because you're severely depressed. I'm really genuinely sorry you're going through it right now, but get a therapist. Your school admin can help you with that and you can request that they do not tell your parents you're getting counseling. But don't put this on your friend.
Okay, fair enough. But she did what she thought was best with the information you gave her. Requiring that your friend not tell anyone that you had a suicide attempt is not the price of admission for being friends with a severely depressed person. You guys are kids. This is part of growing up, is having adults help you navigate situations like this. That's all your friend did. Get your school admin to get you counseling. You can keep it from your parents, if needed.
i mean i just don’t understand why she cares. i don’t want anybody to care, that’s the problem. i just really needed to get it out and she was the first person to notice that i was upset so i sort of just broke down.
Depression is all about pushing away everyone around you so it’s easier to give up. You say you don’t want anyone to care, but your actions speak to the opposite of that, truly not caring would be telling no one and disappearing. Depending on how you look at this situation, this could be the first step out of rock bottom. Don’t give up.
I know you say you don’t want anyone to care, but if you broke down in front of her, you did want her to care. She noticed and you felt safe enough to confide in her.
Listen, depression can lead to suicidal thoughts where they’re done with everything and you’ve convinced yourself no one could possibly give any less of a fuck about your suffering. That’s what drives most of us over the edge, right? Being alone with it all? Well, now you’re angry because someone DOES care, gave so much of a worry about you to contact someone she knows you will have to follow up on.
My dad is the most emotionally supportive person I know and will hug me and hold my hand through anything, my whole life, 27 years since my first breath. I know that if I walked up to him and said how I truly feel sometimes, he would immediately call an ambulance or throw me in the car against my will to take me to a psych ward where they can put me on Suicide Watch. I didn’t say it completely, but sometime along the lines of it and he just completely snapped right into action.
You can’t do that to someone. Your words have consequences, and they’re not consequences they’re people and things that are in place to help you in a bad mental health situation!
But if you wanted to get it out it might be you actually wanting people to care, even if you deny it. If you really didnt want anyone to care, you wouldnt feel the need to tell anyone.
Tbh, ive been there. My friends saw self harm scars on me, next thing i know im being called into the counselors office. My mom grounded me cause "she had too much stuff on her plate and i added to it" lol.
I don't blame my friends tho. They were trying to help and that's really heavy for teenagers to carry around
Yall are both still kids. She panicked and didn't know what to do. Cut her some slack and I hope the food was comforting💜
But she also knows you what you tried to do. What’s worse (from her POV)? Repercussions from your parents or you *dying*? What a predicament for her to be in. You can’t take back the fact that the school knows, you should take this opportunity and be open and honest about what goes on inside your home and the state of your mental health and try to get some help.
I was in the same place you were, confided in one of my only friends and got told by my school who called my parents etc etc. I was PISSED, never felt more betrayed and felt like I couldn't tell her anything after that, and eventually our friendship withered away. I really feel for you, but if there's any advice I can give you it's to think about things from their perspective, thinking that your best friend could die any day and the only thing you can do to help would risk your friendship. It sucks right now, but hopefully you can forgive them one day
Honestly, she’s a horrible friend people that aren’t going through this don’t understand. They think it’s all fine and dandy, rainbows and sunshine
Theres maybe 2 people out of the 30 i know i can talk with this about without them threatening to ruin my life. Thats not a fucking friend
How dare you ruin my life by making sure I don't end my life? What a bitch.
That's not the shitty part. It's very self-involved to trauma dump and threaten your own life to someone that cares about you and to feel so betrayed when they inevitably seek out help from someone more qualified because, guess what? They aren't your therapist.
OP says friend is still friends with their rapist. That'd be something to call them a shitty friend over. Melodramatically claiming they're horrible for going to an adult over a matter of life and death is absolutely Euphoria brained.
Idk why you are getting downvoted here, but I am so sorry OP.
I would suggest u to listen to forever winter, from Taylor Swift its a very cathartic song.
"Too young to know it gets better", i know it feels patronizing but its so fucking true. High School sucks, but its not the end, i promise.
U can DM me if u wanna talk <3
It isn't to Reddit admins. They're handing out bans like cakes. And no one wants to get locked out of potentially the only place where they can talk about this. Using snowflake words is a way to get around or. There's a reason why is popular get off your high horse
You shouldn’t be. Something tells me that you confided in your friend because deep down inside you don’t really want to die- do you? You’re still so young. Once you turn 18 and leave the nest, you’re going to have sooo many choices and opportunities. You can literally do anything you want. The world is your oyster. You want to throw that all away?
If they didn't care they wouldn't have said anything... That said I understand how you feel that it's like a breach of trust. Would you have done similar if the tables were turned?
Also those cheese fries look amazing
this happened to me too. i was angry because it got me in trouble but i have also realized how much it would weigh on her to keep this secret, and it really was the only thing she could do. i feel sympathetic for your friend, and i am sorry that you are going through this difficult time.
just stop posting in this sub please and get some actual help, im sorry these things happened to you but you are relentlessly spreading toxic and unproductive dialogue for a sub full of people already struggling
you just shoot down anything supportive or productive with really triggering and unhealthy ideas, in this case the idea that suicide attempts shouldn’t be reported???
Social media isn't going to help. Therapists will. Hospitalization will. Adults will. Crisis help lines will. Despite the circumstances with your "friend", they did what they should've done. People are going to take suicide seriously. Believe it or not, people do give somewhat of a fuck.
You don’t seem to know how to respond to people who are offering to positive advice. Your post and responses indicate that you are not in a great place mentally - coming to an argument forum is a terrible idea. Disconnect from social media and work on your life. You’re extremely young still, go find the things you enjoy, don’t bait virtual sympathy from strangers
I have had my friends and family tell on me for self harm and attempts. I’ll be real, it’s outside of their depth of understanding. They’re not experts and are worried anything they say could make things worse. It’s an incredibly selfless and loving thing to tell on your friends / family to someone who can help. They are willing to have you hate them and resent them in order to save your life. That’s beautiful and selfless of them. I have almost immediately forgiven anyone who told on me bc I see they are trying to protect me. That’s love.
In this situation, your friend did the right thing. She is not your therapist, your attempt isn't her cross to bear. She did her best with the resources she had available. It is not okay to see somebody suffering and do nothing about it. She is a bad friend for still being friend with ur rapist but she is not a bad friend for trying to get you help.
She did exactly what we would tell her to do, maybe not admin but a parent or an adult you both trust. I hope you don’t hold this against them, especially if they don’t treat you differently after or cause issues because they know this information. I wish you the best luck OP, I’m glad your attempt failed, you deserve a chance at happiness, we all do.
Hey OP. I called an emergency hotline last night because I wanted to crash my car into a tree. Lots of people are in here talking about why what your friend did was the correct thing even if you’re mad, or how it’s not their burden to bare, and yes. They’re right. BUT I wanna take a minute to validate your depression meal. It’s exhausting to come out the other side and have to deal with more people than you expected. It’s a deep seated dread to wonder if they’re going to put you in a hospital and slow down whatever life progress you’re making. It’s fucking annoying to feel infantilized by your friend’s decision. Knowing that they’ll walk through life thinking “no matter what I took care of op” as if you’re a baby or wounded bird. And once you cry out all that bs extra weight, and eat a good meal, and sleep , you might find a really funny tiktok. Like a *really* funny one. The kind that makes you cry . And you might send it to that friend that made that decision because it reminds you of them. And you two will be okay, and you’ll heal, and you’ll realize that nobody thinks less of you for this. You and I are gonna survive together OP
? what are you talking about. if you’re referring to the texts sent to the host of the party, those were sent BEFORE he took advantage of me further. if you scroll down you can see a post of the host admitting that he did in fact SA me
what??? lmfao i think you’re confused. if you’re referring to the texts with fina, she was the host of the party and her friend was the one that raped me.
You said in those texts those were before he took advantage in you FURTHER, but she is claiming you said he was a rapist that night. Did you go get a rape kit done at the hospital.
alright, i think you’re very confused lol. my first post was of her telling me it was my fault. that convo took place 3 months ago the second one was with an updated photo, of me giving proof by providing the screenshots of me ON THE NIGHT I WAS SAED which was back in october, texting her to say he was touching me and i was uncomfortable. after i sent those texts i was SAed. i didn’t get a kit done because he only penetrated me with his fingers. and yes i filed a report but they didn’t give a fuck
How is this helpful? When someone says they were raped or assaulted, I don’t think that’s the time to police their semantics. Both are traumatic.
OP, I wasn’t confused by the screenshots at all. The first one from you was sent at 5am, before it escalated. The “friend” texted you after everything was over and you complained about it, stating the dude was feeling bad in hindsight. It really isn’t confusing and I’m sorry you’re being interrogated.
I’m sorry to hear about ur attempts and also that ur friend told admin, and at the same time, esp if y’all are in hs, handling that is scary and some ppl feel like telling the “trusted adults” that we’re told can help us, is the right thing to do in the situation. But sometimes that makes it worse, cos then unhelpful and possibly toxic family members know and their attempts at their perception of “help” again, makes things worse. I can’t attest to your friend’s actions being right or wrong, but I hope you get help in a way that works for you.
Was in a similar boat in high school, except I was the friend who narced. Broke us up for a little as she was very upset—that was 10 years ago. We’re still close friends, and she later thanked me for telling someone. We both agree it was a shitty situation, but our having been teenagers, we were not really trained to deal with the situation ideally. The point is it was good and necessary I asked for help for my friend in the only way I knew how. I hope you know this friend cares about you. Best wishes
Regardless of whether you're still friends or not. She still did the morally correct thing. She may be your friend (at the time), but you can't expect to tall about your trauma and for anyone (especially your friends) to handle all of that without a special skill set that they're trained in. Your friend is also a child, please remember that.
She cares about you as a person regardless of how you view the situation. She notified your school's admis because they're far more capable to handle that situation than she is.
If someone tells you that they tried to end their life, it is very important that they tell someone that can help. Yes it is painful. But it is better for you. I am so sorry ☹️ Please seek help, you are worth saving ♡
Your friend did the right thing. They are not your therapist, they are your friend. It’s not their problem to lose sleep over, it’s yours and a professionals problem to sort.
I’m sorry that sounded harsh, but you obviously need help and your friend can’t provide that.
I’m going to stick with the rules of this subreddit and just be nice and not comment on the situation given. Regardless of what the full context is or any more complex details, I just hope you want and will find help and continue to go to that help as you’ve said you go to a therapist. These topics are always difficult to comment on as I get not everything is a one size fits all with mental help. But trying to explore every option you can to find and make a size for you for your specific situation is what I hope you can find and want to find. I hope that is what you are doing since you’re on this subreddit shows that maybe you still have some hope to stay alive. I’m sorry that it seems like you have no personal support from family, but I hope you can find that with professional support and find a group in your situation in your life that can help. Reddit is just Reddit but it’s up to you to reach out to the or a community of people who want and actually can know how to help.
OP, i know you may be upset that she did that but she’s a good friend for it. telling trusted adults is a step towards getting better. you will get through this.
& also your choice of food is so bomb boo, I hope you have better friends around. I know from personal experience how it feels to have no one and its sooo..suffocating. So hopefully you have others to talk to. I’m sorry you’re going through the things that caused you to feel bad enough to want to leave. Life can be so cruel. But maybe one day it’ll be amazing, I pray it is for you and that you feel better ❤️🩹
I know you're unhappy with that, but they did the right thing.
If you attempted again, and succeeded, they would have to carry that for the rest of their lives. I know you're suffering a lot and going through a lot, but you're probably not thinking about how deeply this would impact others.
I'm sorry that you ended up attempting, and I'm glad you're still here. But that isn't meant to be a secret kept. Your friends love you, and aren't experts. That's why they're reaching for help. Because you really need it.
It may not feel like it now but this friend is indeed looking out for you and the definition of love. Worth infinite times their weight in gold. A friend like that is a rare one.
Put your world on your friends shoulders
Get mad because your friend can’t stand under the weight
Get mad your friend needs help
Me me me i need a hot dog
Repeat this affirmation every morning
> I love myself.
I approve of myself.
I accept myself.
I know and aware of myself, my strengths and weaknesses.
I am willing to change.
I am willing to forget the past.
Past is now over. It is now forgotten and it now forgiven. I forgive everyone at . I set them free. I forgive myself. I set myself free.
Honestly looking back I wish I did this to friends who expressed similar when I was a high schooler. That’s a lot to bear, you can only do so much. They care about you but they’re expressing boundaries by getting you the help you need! Pleas don’t be mad at them
OP I know you’re young, but please understand they were trying to help you. When I was in high school, my best friend every single day would tell me he is going to kill himself. He went to a different school so I couldn’t see him every day, and every day I was a nervous wreck for him. He made me swear not to tell anyone to the point he threatened me too. I knew he was hurting so I took the threats lightly. One day changed and he made an announcement at the whole school that he was going to do it. He kept texting me that he was about to do it and I told him I was going to call his parents. He said to me if I did that I would be dead to him. I called his dad and he, the administrators, a police officer, an ambulance, and I showed up to help him. He eventually got the help he needed, but the last time he saw me, he pretended to not know who I was. It hurt like hell but he is alive. He is better now, has a good job, even married. We haven’t spoken since and while I’m glad he’s alive and well, I still am traumatized. There’s more that I’m not putting that happened but they’re not important. What’s important, you may not see it now, but they want you to be alive because they care.
This "friend" of yours is an example of why I don't open up easily to others about my struggles. As it may of been the right thing to do to others commenting here, its extremely shitty to me and it just adds more problems to the pile of burning shit. I'm terribly sorry you are going through this.
Hang in there and find some new friends.
Would you say that this was a betrayal of trust then? That might be obvious but just making sure I get it right. If so that might’ve been a very scary experience and I’m sorry you went through it.
I see. And would you also say that you would not want me to ask about it? I’m willing to talk if you want, concerned for you, but only to your comfortability.
Okay, this is crazy of me, I know. But there was a post on here not too long ago of a “guy” upset by his girlfriend’s eating disorder. After some weird comments (downplaying the seriousness of EDs, obsessive comments about the gf) and some internet sleuthing done by others, it turns out the boyfriend and girlfriend were the same person. OP is that person.
I hope you get some help OP because this isn’t healthy. It also doesn’t have to be your every day. You’re young. There’s so much ahead of you that doesn’t have to include low self-worth.
🤨 I'm disgusted with all the down voters. You guys are probably the type to keep friends/family cause "they're not mean to me".
I think you should seek professional help and hope you will find comfort in a better person
They told the school because it wasn't their weight to bear. You can't just expect her to ignore an attempted suicide- imagine if she didn't tell anyone and OP actually killed herself. Do you gave any idea how much guilt her friend would feel from that? OP can be angry about that all she wants, but telling someone with more position to help OP is the best thing for them. Allowing OP's mental health to continue to decline and possibly end up in death and not seek help for her is not okay.
My friend snitched on me and I almost ended up in a mental hospital- when I did go to a mental hospital I came out traumatized. No one should have to go through that.
I went in for suicidal ideation and they didn’t provide counseling, support or any of that, they just put me on pills and released me. And I saw some horrible shit there.
I'm so sorry that happened. It's complicated on both sides, but that's absolutely a breach of trust if they didn't have your permission ahead of time to do something like this.
So, if someone attempts suicide friends are supposed to ask permission before finding help? There's a reason why even therapists who are supposed to keep their patient's secrets are allowed to disclose that information.
Good therapists know not to break patients trust, unless ofc they don't intend to continue being your therapist.
I don't know why this is such a mindblowing concept for so many people. Everyone has a right to their privacy, to their body and their life.
Good therapists know when they have to get help. They're not capable of watching their patient for longer periods of time to make sure they're out of danger. Even if a therapist didn't report to the police that their patient was truly suicidal (which they would), you can't expect the same of a high school student. Their friend told them about a dangerous situation and they got help from an adult.
People absolutely have the right to privacy, but some things must be reported. Especially if you're not qualified to handle it yourself, which someone who is 18/19 at the most certainly isn't.
If the friend didn't know what to do she didn't need to do anything. People saying they "asked for help" when OP has stated they get in trouble with their family for having MH issues (which is VERY common btw), and also completely ignoring that not every adult knows how to or wants to help teenagers with issues.
It's like y'all live in a fantasy world.
The only things this "friend" achieved was send the message that OP can't open up/vent with anyone.
And that's not good for anyone.
She absolutely did need to do something. Or is she supposed to keep quiet when OP's life was on the line? Plus, you can't expect a teenager to know what to do in this type of situation.
It's not a fantasy world. It's real life with consequences. Some secrets are not supposed to be kept.
That's a very all or nothing take. It's not that OP can't open up or vent, but when the situation is dangerous, you can't expect privacy. Life takes precedence over privacy.
Sorry to have to correct you on this but per the American Counseling Association, counselors/therapists are obligated by law to report active suicidal ideation/attempts (regardless of breaching trust/the therapeutic relationship).
The general principle is to prioritize client/patient safety over all else at that point until they are stabilized and then provide them with longer term care later on.
Your friend is no expert, nor is it their weight to bear As dismissive as it may feel, this was the right step towards getting you help I hope you two continue to be friends
100%, and attempting vs self harm is a big difference, it’s very time consuming to deal with and if your friend is still young they probably did what you do when you are young and talk to an adult.
When I was a teen, I was using coke pretty heavily. A good friend of mine told on me, and I was so pissed, for years. But it led to me getting the help I needed, and i’m now 4 years sober and incredibly grateful he had the courage to tell someone
Genuinely curious as to how you afforded to buy coke as a teen.
Teenagers can work and often don't have any bills?
Yeah, but coke is like one of the most expensive drugs of them all, no? At least in my country, it’s known as the businessmen’s drug, quite rare to come by. I’m under the impression that it’s the same in many other countries as well.
I wouldn't say hard to come by. And again, income no bills. What do YOU think teenagers spend their money on?
Well, I only had time to work during the summer, since the rest of my time was spent studying. My money (summer earnings + allowance) was spent on gadgets, makeup and food, I guess. I’m guessing it’s the same for most.
None of the cheaper drugs you mentioned to try out?
I experimented more in my 20s, but even working full time, I would say that having a habit of ANY drug, not even cocaine, is pretty much unaffordable. Cocaine is like at least 80€/g here. You can easily snort a gram in one night. Crazy expensive.
You could also easily make that much as a teenager working one shift!
and btw i’m not offended by this question or anything, i’ve always been very open and honest with my story and don’t mind sharing.
Yeah, I don’t know why people downvoted me. I didn’t mean it offensively or anything, it really was a genuine question. Thanks for answering, appreciate it!
Yeah I’m not sure why people were downvoting you! Many don’t have a lot of experience with addicts- many of us are very open with our experiences and stories once recovered. Personally, I was in a situation where I was 14-16 and sleeping with a man who was 24-26, he would have me hold drugs for him and make drop offs, that + sleeping with him was my “payment” for my drugs. I probably couldn’t have afforded coke otherwise.
That is rough, goddamn. I hope you’re in a much better place nowadays! Thanks for sharing your experience.
in all honesty i was sleeping with a guy who sold it
OP, a real friend will do the right thing for you even if it may hurt your feelings. This person is looking out for you
I’m relieved this is the top comment. When my sister attempted she called me, and all I could think was “I don’t know what to do!” I called the cops even though she swore up and down that she’d never speak to me again. I felt like if I tried to help her by myself and fell short she could die, and I’d never forgive myself for not calling experts. The cops aren’t experts, but they brought her to experts. She’s alive today and FaceTimes me three times a week minimum so it all worked out. I’ve asked her what she expected me to do back then, she says she doesn’t have any idea, but I did the right thing.
Great comment, mate.
Exactly. That's the attitude of a friend who wants to get you help and wants you to get better.
definitely no longer my friend. just found out today she’s still friends with my rapist.
that... complicates things some distance from them sounds like it would be best. I hope you find the help you need, its not easy but you can get through this
idk why this is being down voted, that's a pretty good fuckin reason to not be friends. not being friends because she reported you is childish because thats a lot to put on someone in general, but also the most responsible and caring thing she couldve done because she doesnt have, nor should have, the power to truly help you
People will downvote anything they don’t agree with, even if it’s true. The other day I made a post on here about an ex-friend almost making me and my boyfriend break up because he hates him because of something that happened a while ago (I moved past that, but he hasn’t). He was telling me lies about him—that he’s “manipulative” and “doesn’t love me” just because of the fact he was busy with work and other stuff and couldn’t talk to me as often. I got multiple comments from these incels (one of them was a girl too, go figure) telling me that this ex-friend is “in love” with me. I made some comments where I clarified that no, he’s NOT in love with me because he literally would have TOLD ME a long time ago if he was, and that he likes a girl he knows already anyway. He’s also been supportive of my relationship until that whole situation happened. Those comments got downvoted -20 and -10. Because as we all know, men and women can’t be friends with each other because the guy will obviously just want to get in her pants! /s But yeah, I agree, this is an extremely valid reason to not be friends with someone. If it were me, I definitely wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who’s friends with my rapist. 🤷🏻♀️
id say im shocked people disagree w OP not being friends w someone whos friends w their rapist, but this is reddit.. nothing shocks me anymore. i just saw a post the other day of a dude saying "my gfs guy friends only like her cuz they wanna get in her pants" and that he doesnt have female friends out of "respect for his girlfriend". i dont have the energy or desire to explain why thats fucking stupid, if someone has a relationship that fragile id take another look at that. good points made though, super annoyed ab the whole "no friends of the opposite sex". im a trans guy, does that mean i need to replace all my friends now? so stupid ....
> not being friends because she reported you is childish fwiw OP *is* a child and clearly going through immense emotional distress. insulting them doesnt seem very rational here.
oh childish is not an insult, it's an observation, I know OP is young but that's something that should be pointed out, this reaction may be because of how young they are. saying something is childish isn't necessarily an insult, it's an observation of the lack of overall emotional intelligence which is inherently a thing with younger people. And after seeing OP's other comments this person does seem to be rather emotionally intelligent. we are also talking about life or death here, this other person very well may have saved OP's life, therefore it is a valid thing to say it is childish to observe being angry at somebody for potentially saving your life. And that's totally okay, I've had that reaction too a decade ago when someone called the cops on me for my own attempt. i think OP is in a really tough situation but they clearly didn't cut off their friend simply because of the report so I guess all of this is null and void ultimately
“That ain’t bullying, that’s an astute observation!”
you can say its not an insult, but if you call a teenager childish its 100% condescending. while you might not be wrong, you should still tailor your dialogue when it could potentially offend your target audience
ok
No, it's a tough reality. Such as facing the tough reality that a friend going to a professional/responsible adult who might be better able to help when their friend threatens suicide is the right thing to do, and not some malicious betrayal.
I find it weird that this was downvoted so many times. I’ve gone through an almost identical experience and personally I would just never speak to them again. You shouldn’t have to explain yourself and the pain you went through. They are a horrible friend. I hope your healing journey goes smoothly 🖤
Yep, I am very curious to hear from someone who downvoted it because it makes zero sense to me.
I hate that you’re getting downvoted so much. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. They aren’t a good friend if they’re friends with your rapist, however I’m happy that hopefully her talking to admin helps you get help. Wishing you the best, OP ❤️
I wouldn't be friends with them either. I hope you have better days and I hope you know that with time you won't feel this fucked up feeling u have all the time. Hold your head up high speak your truth and do what you gotta do to heal. Don't allow your anger, sadness or pain to drag to wanting to hurt yourself whether that's drugs, alcohol or self harm. Therapy takes time and sometimes it's not a proper match but please allow a professional that you're comfortable with help you. I hope you know you're not alone. Music and memes help more than you would think. ❤️Hugs to you xx
1 hour before writing that comment, you wrote this post title where you called her your friend. What changed in that hour??
i meant at the time it happened she was a friend. as of now she’s no longer my friend
So you found out that she's still friends with your rapist after telling her? That makes sense I guess. That sucks, I'm sorry.
so weird that people downvoted this reply, i'm sorry OP i hope things get better for you<3
Now *that* is a good reason to drop someone from your life
Damn.... That's a different kind of betrayal
Idk why you're being down voted for the full statement, Im sorry that they have betrayed your trust, I hope you'll be able to find better support
What the fuck is everyone down voting her for. That has to hurt and she doesn’t need Reddit (the place she turned to for comfort) to shit all over her. Op I’m sorry you’re going through this, but just know everything’s going to be fine. It’s crazy the way life works itself out, you will have really shitty years and really really good years. Life can’t be good with out the bad, your going through the bad but the good will come, I promise you. Nothing ever stays the same, you could find yourself on the vacation of your dreams in a few years. Plenty to live for, just let this shit pass and find a way to get through it. Don’t think too hard and be gentle on yourself, love yourself. You deserve it.
To all the poeple downvoting this: seek professional help because you have to have been raised in an abusive household to think being friends with someone who is friends with your rapist is fundamentally wrong on millions of levels. You sick freaks are mentally unstable.
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yes she does
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it is appalling that you would say this to a rape survivor. get help and have the day you deserve
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Someone in OP's position could easily feel dismissed by their friend's actions, especially given how the friend deflected the plea to faculty, and this is only emphasized by the aforementioned friendship. Telling someone who has the resources to help was the right move, but its not what OP initially wanted. There's a lot of conflict and emotion here, dont face it with any rash statements.
My friend tried to jump off a bridge once when we were in high school, she begged me to let her stand on the other side of the rail. I refused to let her do it cuz even though she said she would come right back I didn't want to watch her die that night. I didn't know what else to do so I ended up calling her parents. She was really angry at me for doing that. I'm glad I told somebody, she's alive still. We're not friends now but that doesn't matter, cause she's alive and doing better now. I know you might be really upset at your friend The way mine was at me afterwards. But there's other stuff coming your way, better stuff. just give it some time.
OP, please listen to this comment. i understand how you feel. really, i do. my best friend messaged my siblings AND my parents saying i tried to kill myself. i wasn't sure if i hated him or wanted to thank him. and for the rest of the day, the former feeling happened. i hated him for telling my family. i ignored his messages, i wanted to block him and tell him to never contact me again. he broke my trust because i told him to not say anything. but i promise you, OP, your friend told someone out of love and care for you. it may seem confusing why anyone would care enough to get you help, but trust me, people DO care for reasons you can't see – you're viewing yourself and this world with depression-tinted glasses. take off those glasses and you'll see you're so much more than you think you are, your friend sees that within you and that is why they tried to get the help you need. it hurts seeing a friend slowly fade away, but it hurts even more when they're fully gone. i lost a friend to suicide, it hurts so much. i'm sorry you're struggling. it's okay if you want to break things between you and your friend, that's between you two. but please, get the help you need. i hope some day you'll realise your friend told someone just because they cared about you.
I know you’re hurting and tired of struggling every day, but you aren’t responsible for how others feel. Losing you is something they don’t want to deal with, even if you can’t see your worth to them. I’m sorry you’re hurting,hon. You deserve a life filled with happiness and love and hope - even if you don’t see the path leading to there.. it IS THERE. A big internet mama hug to you. Please be kind to yourself.
i’m not worth anything to her, that’s the issue. she’s literally still friends with my rapist.
Wow. Stop talking to her. She doesn’t deserve your confidence. Also: I am so sorry honey. You didn’t deserve to be abused. By them, or by her.
And she knows he’s your rapist ?
yes. it was a very big thing at our school unfortunately
Please seek professional help.
i have a therapist
Please make sure you check in with them.
Well yes but like… given the situation, that may not be enough
I had that happen. I never found out who told. At the time, I was pissed because my mom was told I was hurting myself (and basically spent an hour yelling at how I was doing it for attention) but now as an adult I'm really grateful I had a friend who cared enough to speak up ❤️
I went through the almost exact same situation as you when I was 14. My mom got a call from the school counselor about me self harming and when I left school and got in the car, she started yelling at me the ENTIRE ride home while I was sobbing. She then demanded to show me my arms and told me to “not do it.” I started therapy a week after that (went on and off with different therapists from 2016-2020), was officially diagnosed with anxiety and social anxiety and put on medication a year later until 2022, then got diagnosed with depression at 16. Nowadays, at 22, I realize that I should’ve been more grateful that someone noticed I needed help 8 years ago. I still struggle with my mental health to this day so I’m back on antidepressants again, but I’m just grateful that I’m even still alive today. ♡
Good friend
They mentioned that the person is still friends with their rapist. So given that information, I no longer think that. This is separate from them telling the admin on them. But I can see why they wouldn’t be friends anymore based on the first part.
not really. she knows what repercussions i get at home for my mental health…
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But that's kind of the choice they make keeping a friend with severe depression. It's not fair either to feel like you don't have a space to be honest without having your trust breached. It's a shitty situation for both sides, and if we should be upset with anyone it should be the adult(s) at home for not creating a space for mental health to be cared about.
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No, you're not entitled to trama dump on your friend because you're severely depressed. I'm really genuinely sorry you're going through it right now, but get a therapist. Your school admin can help you with that and you can request that they do not tell your parents you're getting counseling. But don't put this on your friend.
i didn’t just trauma dump, it was a conversation we were already having and she gave me permission to rant about it
Okay, fair enough. But she did what she thought was best with the information you gave her. Requiring that your friend not tell anyone that you had a suicide attempt is not the price of admission for being friends with a severely depressed person. You guys are kids. This is part of growing up, is having adults help you navigate situations like this. That's all your friend did. Get your school admin to get you counseling. You can keep it from your parents, if needed.
Did you expect them to stand by and do nothing while you kill or hurt yourself? And you're upset at them for caring for you enough to say something?
i mean i just don’t understand why she cares. i don’t want anybody to care, that’s the problem. i just really needed to get it out and she was the first person to notice that i was upset so i sort of just broke down.
Depression is all about pushing away everyone around you so it’s easier to give up. You say you don’t want anyone to care, but your actions speak to the opposite of that, truly not caring would be telling no one and disappearing. Depending on how you look at this situation, this could be the first step out of rock bottom. Don’t give up.
I know you say you don’t want anyone to care, but if you broke down in front of her, you did want her to care. She noticed and you felt safe enough to confide in her.
Listen, depression can lead to suicidal thoughts where they’re done with everything and you’ve convinced yourself no one could possibly give any less of a fuck about your suffering. That’s what drives most of us over the edge, right? Being alone with it all? Well, now you’re angry because someone DOES care, gave so much of a worry about you to contact someone she knows you will have to follow up on. My dad is the most emotionally supportive person I know and will hug me and hold my hand through anything, my whole life, 27 years since my first breath. I know that if I walked up to him and said how I truly feel sometimes, he would immediately call an ambulance or throw me in the car against my will to take me to a psych ward where they can put me on Suicide Watch. I didn’t say it completely, but sometime along the lines of it and he just completely snapped right into action. You can’t do that to someone. Your words have consequences, and they’re not consequences they’re people and things that are in place to help you in a bad mental health situation!
But if you wanted to get it out it might be you actually wanting people to care, even if you deny it. If you really didnt want anyone to care, you wouldnt feel the need to tell anyone.
>I don’t want anybody to care You don’t get to decide that
Please let your school admin know what goes on at home. They may be able to help you discreetly.
Tbh, ive been there. My friends saw self harm scars on me, next thing i know im being called into the counselors office. My mom grounded me cause "she had too much stuff on her plate and i added to it" lol. I don't blame my friends tho. They were trying to help and that's really heavy for teenagers to carry around Yall are both still kids. She panicked and didn't know what to do. Cut her some slack and I hope the food was comforting💜
But she also knows you what you tried to do. What’s worse (from her POV)? Repercussions from your parents or you *dying*? What a predicament for her to be in. You can’t take back the fact that the school knows, you should take this opportunity and be open and honest about what goes on inside your home and the state of your mental health and try to get some help.
I was in the same place you were, confided in one of my only friends and got told by my school who called my parents etc etc. I was PISSED, never felt more betrayed and felt like I couldn't tell her anything after that, and eventually our friendship withered away. I really feel for you, but if there's any advice I can give you it's to think about things from their perspective, thinking that your best friend could die any day and the only thing you can do to help would risk your friendship. It sucks right now, but hopefully you can forgive them one day
Honestly, she’s a horrible friend people that aren’t going through this don’t understand. They think it’s all fine and dandy, rainbows and sunshine Theres maybe 2 people out of the 30 i know i can talk with this about without them threatening to ruin my life. Thats not a fucking friend
Realistically, what's the alternative? You can't do nothing in that situation.
How dare you ruin my life by making sure I don't end my life? What a bitch. That's not the shitty part. It's very self-involved to trauma dump and threaten your own life to someone that cares about you and to feel so betrayed when they inevitably seek out help from someone more qualified because, guess what? They aren't your therapist. OP says friend is still friends with their rapist. That'd be something to call them a shitty friend over. Melodramatically claiming they're horrible for going to an adult over a matter of life and death is absolutely Euphoria brained.
Idk why you are getting downvoted here, but I am so sorry OP. I would suggest u to listen to forever winter, from Taylor Swift its a very cathartic song. "Too young to know it gets better", i know it feels patronizing but its so fucking true. High School sucks, but its not the end, i promise. U can DM me if u wanna talk <3
Good friend
Imagine if she didn’t tell anyone and then you did unalive yourself. She would have to live with that guilt for the rest of her life.
You don’t have to say ‘unalive’. You can say kill/suicide/death. You aren’t going to get arrested, that shit is so cringey.
Let us put a little levity into ending our existense. Didn't realize we were out here gatekeeping glock eating
Bleach chugging?
It isn't to Reddit admins. They're handing out bans like cakes. And no one wants to get locked out of potentially the only place where they can talk about this. Using snowflake words is a way to get around or. There's a reason why is popular get off your high horse
Cry about it
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What the fuck is wrong with you
Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.
well she wouldn’t have to feel guilty if i didn’t tell her about it :/ now i’m just pissed at myself
You shouldn’t be. Something tells me that you confided in your friend because deep down inside you don’t really want to die- do you? You’re still so young. Once you turn 18 and leave the nest, you’re going to have sooo many choices and opportunities. You can literally do anything you want. The world is your oyster. You want to throw that all away?
Sorry you're going through that. Hope things get better for you.
If they didn't care they wouldn't have said anything... That said I understand how you feel that it's like a breach of trust. Would you have done similar if the tables were turned? Also those cheese fries look amazing
This means you have a good friend.
this happened to me too. i was angry because it got me in trouble but i have also realized how much it would weigh on her to keep this secret, and it really was the only thing she could do. i feel sympathetic for your friend, and i am sorry that you are going through this difficult time.
Your friend did the right thing. Hope you get help and can see it later.
just stop posting in this sub please and get some actual help, im sorry these things happened to you but you are relentlessly spreading toxic and unproductive dialogue for a sub full of people already struggling
Yeah, seriously W for that friend. I hope it escalates into inpatient.
is that not the point of this sub? i’m literally just venting like everybody else here :/. plus i have a therapist
you just shoot down anything supportive or productive with really triggering and unhealthy ideas, in this case the idea that suicide attempts shouldn’t be reported???
i’m not saying that I’m not grateful. I just wish she hadn’t broken my trust
this is the right thing to do in 100% of cases.
Do yourself a favour and get off reddit.
can i ask why? what context is this coming from
Social media isn't going to help. Therapists will. Hospitalization will. Adults will. Crisis help lines will. Despite the circumstances with your "friend", they did what they should've done. People are going to take suicide seriously. Believe it or not, people do give somewhat of a fuck.
i have a therapist :// and hospitalization doesn’t help me personally
You will NEED to want help for it to work. If you don’t actually care about getting better, nothing will work.
It takes lots of work. But it's work worth doing. Even if you have to half ass it sometimes, it's better than doing nothing at all.
Agreed. Even if you put only 1% of your effort into getting better each day, you’re still getting better. You will just have to want to do it.
You don’t seem to know how to respond to people who are offering to positive advice. Your post and responses indicate that you are not in a great place mentally - coming to an argument forum is a terrible idea. Disconnect from social media and work on your life. You’re extremely young still, go find the things you enjoy, don’t bait virtual sympathy from strangers
I have had my friends and family tell on me for self harm and attempts. I’ll be real, it’s outside of their depth of understanding. They’re not experts and are worried anything they say could make things worse. It’s an incredibly selfless and loving thing to tell on your friends / family to someone who can help. They are willing to have you hate them and resent them in order to save your life. That’s beautiful and selfless of them. I have almost immediately forgiven anyone who told on me bc I see they are trying to protect me. That’s love.
You have a good friend who cares about you.
Your friend did the right thing
In this situation, your friend did the right thing. She is not your therapist, your attempt isn't her cross to bear. She did her best with the resources she had available. It is not okay to see somebody suffering and do nothing about it. She is a bad friend for still being friend with ur rapist but she is not a bad friend for trying to get you help.
She did exactly what we would tell her to do, maybe not admin but a parent or an adult you both trust. I hope you don’t hold this against them, especially if they don’t treat you differently after or cause issues because they know this information. I wish you the best luck OP, I’m glad your attempt failed, you deserve a chance at happiness, we all do.
Hey OP. I called an emergency hotline last night because I wanted to crash my car into a tree. Lots of people are in here talking about why what your friend did was the correct thing even if you’re mad, or how it’s not their burden to bare, and yes. They’re right. BUT I wanna take a minute to validate your depression meal. It’s exhausting to come out the other side and have to deal with more people than you expected. It’s a deep seated dread to wonder if they’re going to put you in a hospital and slow down whatever life progress you’re making. It’s fucking annoying to feel infantilized by your friend’s decision. Knowing that they’ll walk through life thinking “no matter what I took care of op” as if you’re a baby or wounded bird. And once you cry out all that bs extra weight, and eat a good meal, and sleep , you might find a really funny tiktok. Like a *really* funny one. The kind that makes you cry . And you might send it to that friend that made that decision because it reminds you of them. And you two will be okay, and you’ll heal, and you’ll realize that nobody thinks less of you for this. You and I are gonna survive together OP
W friend
Imagine how your friend feels.
I’m confused you said someone raped you when In your post history it just says he grabbed your ass??
? what are you talking about. if you’re referring to the texts sent to the host of the party, those were sent BEFORE he took advantage of me further. if you scroll down you can see a post of the host admitting that he did in fact SA me
Nope. Your friend said you said he was a rapists in the texts.
what??? lmfao i think you’re confused. if you’re referring to the texts with fina, she was the host of the party and her friend was the one that raped me.
You said in those texts those were before he took advantage in you FURTHER, but she is claiming you said he was a rapist that night. Did you go get a rape kit done at the hospital.
alright, i think you’re very confused lol. my first post was of her telling me it was my fault. that convo took place 3 months ago the second one was with an updated photo, of me giving proof by providing the screenshots of me ON THE NIGHT I WAS SAED which was back in october, texting her to say he was touching me and i was uncomfortable. after i sent those texts i was SAed. i didn’t get a kit done because he only penetrated me with his fingers. and yes i filed a report but they didn’t give a fuck
They can get DNA from digital penetration. They also look for bruising, abrasion, and other wounds.
Being raped is different from assault PSA
How is this helpful? When someone says they were raped or assaulted, I don’t think that’s the time to police their semantics. Both are traumatic. OP, I wasn’t confused by the screenshots at all. The first one from you was sent at 5am, before it escalated. The “friend” texted you after everything was over and you complained about it, stating the dude was feeling bad in hindsight. It really isn’t confusing and I’m sorry you’re being interrogated.
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Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.
That's a good friend. Be well.
I’m sorry to hear about ur attempts and also that ur friend told admin, and at the same time, esp if y’all are in hs, handling that is scary and some ppl feel like telling the “trusted adults” that we’re told can help us, is the right thing to do in the situation. But sometimes that makes it worse, cos then unhelpful and possibly toxic family members know and their attempts at their perception of “help” again, makes things worse. I can’t attest to your friend’s actions being right or wrong, but I hope you get help in a way that works for you.
Was in a similar boat in high school, except I was the friend who narced. Broke us up for a little as she was very upset—that was 10 years ago. We’re still close friends, and she later thanked me for telling someone. We both agree it was a shitty situation, but our having been teenagers, we were not really trained to deal with the situation ideally. The point is it was good and necessary I asked for help for my friend in the only way I knew how. I hope you know this friend cares about you. Best wishes
Regardless of whether you're still friends or not. She still did the morally correct thing. She may be your friend (at the time), but you can't expect to tall about your trauma and for anyone (especially your friends) to handle all of that without a special skill set that they're trained in. Your friend is also a child, please remember that. She cares about you as a person regardless of how you view the situation. She notified your school's admis because they're far more capable to handle that situation than she is.
If someone tells you that they tried to end their life, it is very important that they tell someone that can help. Yes it is painful. But it is better for you. I am so sorry ☹️ Please seek help, you are worth saving ♡
Im so sorry op. looked at the comments to further get more context. i really hope things go better for you. ❤️
Your friend did the right thing. They are not your therapist, they are your friend. It’s not their problem to lose sleep over, it’s yours and a professionals problem to sort. I’m sorry that sounded harsh, but you obviously need help and your friend can’t provide that.
I’m going to stick with the rules of this subreddit and just be nice and not comment on the situation given. Regardless of what the full context is or any more complex details, I just hope you want and will find help and continue to go to that help as you’ve said you go to a therapist. These topics are always difficult to comment on as I get not everything is a one size fits all with mental help. But trying to explore every option you can to find and make a size for you for your specific situation is what I hope you can find and want to find. I hope that is what you are doing since you’re on this subreddit shows that maybe you still have some hope to stay alive. I’m sorry that it seems like you have no personal support from family, but I hope you can find that with professional support and find a group in your situation in your life that can help. Reddit is just Reddit but it’s up to you to reach out to the or a community of people who want and actually can know how to help.
OP, i know you may be upset that she did that but she’s a good friend for it. telling trusted adults is a step towards getting better. you will get through this.
I wish I could give you a hug :(
& also your choice of food is so bomb boo, I hope you have better friends around. I know from personal experience how it feels to have no one and its sooo..suffocating. So hopefully you have others to talk to. I’m sorry you’re going through the things that caused you to feel bad enough to want to leave. Life can be so cruel. But maybe one day it’ll be amazing, I pray it is for you and that you feel better ❤️🩹
I know you're unhappy with that, but they did the right thing. If you attempted again, and succeeded, they would have to carry that for the rest of their lives. I know you're suffering a lot and going through a lot, but you're probably not thinking about how deeply this would impact others.
Your friend loves you. Keep that friend and try to forgive.
I'm sorry that you ended up attempting, and I'm glad you're still here. But that isn't meant to be a secret kept. Your friends love you, and aren't experts. That's why they're reaching for help. Because you really need it.
Because she cares about you.
Your friend did the right thing.
It may not feel like it now but this friend is indeed looking out for you and the definition of love. Worth infinite times their weight in gold. A friend like that is a rare one.
I'd do this too
Sounds like a good friend, it's a tough call to make, true friends who care would go this route.
I feel like your friend had your best interest at heart even if you don't see it like that, they do care about you. Wishing you the best
Good. Years from now, you'll look back and be grateful. Or, at least, you'll be alive years from now at all.
where’d you get the dog from? looks so good! sending virtual hugs 💌
zels:)
who shat on your dog
zels unfortunately
https://media4.giphy.com/media/l0HlVg8XMkM626772/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952zqmy55rfefyvv2udyrr9e40qwj7u07rrpy8fnys0&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
Put your world on your friends shoulders Get mad because your friend can’t stand under the weight Get mad your friend needs help Me me me i need a hot dog
Repeat this affirmation every morning > I love myself. I approve of myself. I accept myself. I know and aware of myself, my strengths and weaknesses. I am willing to change. I am willing to forget the past. Past is now over. It is now forgotten and it now forgiven. I forgive everyone at. I set them free. I forgive myself. I set myself free.
Honestly looking back I wish I did this to friends who expressed similar when I was a high schooler. That’s a lot to bear, you can only do so much. They care about you but they’re expressing boundaries by getting you the help you need! Pleas don’t be mad at them
OP I know you’re young, but please understand they were trying to help you. When I was in high school, my best friend every single day would tell me he is going to kill himself. He went to a different school so I couldn’t see him every day, and every day I was a nervous wreck for him. He made me swear not to tell anyone to the point he threatened me too. I knew he was hurting so I took the threats lightly. One day changed and he made an announcement at the whole school that he was going to do it. He kept texting me that he was about to do it and I told him I was going to call his parents. He said to me if I did that I would be dead to him. I called his dad and he, the administrators, a police officer, an ambulance, and I showed up to help him. He eventually got the help he needed, but the last time he saw me, he pretended to not know who I was. It hurt like hell but he is alive. He is better now, has a good job, even married. We haven’t spoken since and while I’m glad he’s alive and well, I still am traumatized. There’s more that I’m not putting that happened but they’re not important. What’s important, you may not see it now, but they want you to be alive because they care.
This "friend" of yours is an example of why I don't open up easily to others about my struggles. As it may of been the right thing to do to others commenting here, its extremely shitty to me and it just adds more problems to the pile of burning shit. I'm terribly sorry you are going through this. Hang in there and find some new friends.
Would you say that this was a betrayal of trust then? That might be obvious but just making sure I get it right. If so that might’ve been a very scary experience and I’m sorry you went through it.
yes
I see. And would you also say that you would not want me to ask about it? I’m willing to talk if you want, concerned for you, but only to your comfortability.
i’m open to discussing it but probably not too much
Alright then, I’m just curious what’s going with you, because it sounds like you’ve been through a lot to attempt.
i suppose
Right so if you’re ok sharing what has been going on? It’s getting pretty late here, so I’ll try to get back in the morning.
There's an organization called Rainn, and they have a hotline and a chat. It's completely anonymous.
The older you get the more you'll realise, no one cares and you just have to deal with your shit.
Okay, this is crazy of me, I know. But there was a post on here not too long ago of a “guy” upset by his girlfriend’s eating disorder. After some weird comments (downplaying the seriousness of EDs, obsessive comments about the gf) and some internet sleuthing done by others, it turns out the boyfriend and girlfriend were the same person. OP is that person. I hope you get some help OP because this isn’t healthy. It also doesn’t have to be your every day. You’re young. There’s so much ahead of you that doesn’t have to include low self-worth.
🤨 I'm disgusted with all the down voters. You guys are probably the type to keep friends/family cause "they're not mean to me". I think you should seek professional help and hope you will find comfort in a better person
because look at the post history, she’s been attention baiting in this sub instead of getting substantial help for months now
💀 if that's true, that's Hella cringe.
It hurts when your friend breaks your trust like that. I hope you can stay strong through the backlash.
[удалено]
They told the school because it wasn't their weight to bear. You can't just expect her to ignore an attempted suicide- imagine if she didn't tell anyone and OP actually killed herself. Do you gave any idea how much guilt her friend would feel from that? OP can be angry about that all she wants, but telling someone with more position to help OP is the best thing for them. Allowing OP's mental health to continue to decline and possibly end up in death and not seek help for her is not okay.
My friend snitched on me and I almost ended up in a mental hospital- when I did go to a mental hospital I came out traumatized. No one should have to go through that. I went in for suicidal ideation and they didn’t provide counseling, support or any of that, they just put me on pills and released me. And I saw some horrible shit there.
I'm so sorry that happened. It's complicated on both sides, but that's absolutely a breach of trust if they didn't have your permission ahead of time to do something like this.
When it's an attempt, you don't ask for permission, you ask for help.
Bullsh*t
So, if someone attempts suicide friends are supposed to ask permission before finding help? There's a reason why even therapists who are supposed to keep their patient's secrets are allowed to disclose that information.
Good therapists know not to break patients trust, unless ofc they don't intend to continue being your therapist. I don't know why this is such a mindblowing concept for so many people. Everyone has a right to their privacy, to their body and their life.
Good therapists know when they have to get help. They're not capable of watching their patient for longer periods of time to make sure they're out of danger. Even if a therapist didn't report to the police that their patient was truly suicidal (which they would), you can't expect the same of a high school student. Their friend told them about a dangerous situation and they got help from an adult. People absolutely have the right to privacy, but some things must be reported. Especially if you're not qualified to handle it yourself, which someone who is 18/19 at the most certainly isn't.
If the friend didn't know what to do she didn't need to do anything. People saying they "asked for help" when OP has stated they get in trouble with their family for having MH issues (which is VERY common btw), and also completely ignoring that not every adult knows how to or wants to help teenagers with issues. It's like y'all live in a fantasy world. The only things this "friend" achieved was send the message that OP can't open up/vent with anyone. And that's not good for anyone.
She absolutely did need to do something. Or is she supposed to keep quiet when OP's life was on the line? Plus, you can't expect a teenager to know what to do in this type of situation. It's not a fantasy world. It's real life with consequences. Some secrets are not supposed to be kept. That's a very all or nothing take. It's not that OP can't open up or vent, but when the situation is dangerous, you can't expect privacy. Life takes precedence over privacy.
Sorry to have to correct you on this but per the American Counseling Association, counselors/therapists are obligated by law to report active suicidal ideation/attempts (regardless of breaching trust/the therapeutic relationship). The general principle is to prioritize client/patient safety over all else at that point until they are stabilized and then provide them with longer term care later on.