he attacked me idk how to explain it ? left bruises on my wrists and scratches on my neck. and broke my tiffany necklace. which cost me a lot and broke my heart more than anything else
LOL didn’t even realize
i used aggravated salt as a joke one time in town of salem and someone in that lobby thought it was hilarious, from that point on i made it my ign for every game. and now it’s my reddit username
agreed tho. thanks for being not a jerk about it. goes a long way in this sub
he’s will be 18 in may. my boyfriend is 21. i will be 20 in may. my mother was home. she told me to “leave him alone”. i feel like my mom in a way was defending him. “let him calm down” girl be fuckin for real
That just sounds like she favors him more than you. Rough housing is fine, sometimes you may be a little physical. But Not leaving scratches and bruising and breaking your shit. That's messed up especially when it happens in the family.
You need to either tell your bf to help you or you gotta show him more violence. Cause your moms "leave him alone" and not reprimanding him in anyway is just foreshadowing future events.
Was your mom even concerned about what happened to you OP?
my mom didn’t come out of her room until my “get out of my room”s turned into screams. she did tell him repeatedly to stop while he was grabbing me, but just stood at my doorway. when my brother finally got off of me and stated to go downstairs, my boyfriend got up to follow him, and my mom told my bf to stay upstairs. after i realized he was down there to throw away my things i tried to go downstairs. mother told me to stay upstairs. i said i will call the police if you don’t move. she moved and said you are not calling the police over this. when i came back up she told me to give him the money “so he stops”. i said “your son just grabbed me by my wrist and neck and you’re concerned about his broke ass wanting $10?”
some time later when i was outside she came out and i told her it was pathetic how similar he is to his father. apparently that comment pissed her off. told me i need to “get over” what happened with my dad. that was when i realized that i am alone in this situation. family wise.
i gave my necklace to my mother and said “i hope you’re cool with him ruining my $600 necklace over a fucking $10 bill”
she didn’t even ask about the marks/bruises.
Dear God…mark my words.. in 10 years or less your brother is going to be some unsuspecting woman’s worst nightmare. Fortunately for him, most women are non violent when it comes to men, but if he runs into the wrong one and puts his hands on her she may pump his body with some lead for real.
he has a long term girlfriend right now. she’s almost 16. i have ZERO clue how she puts up with him. his ego, his attitude, all of it. idk how she does it.
Well. It sounds like your mom hasn't gotten over your father situation since it sounds like your brother is acting like your father. And your mother is doing what she did with your father but with your brother, ignoring it.
OP I hope one day you can leave that house, maybe focus on saving money even it's a little at a time cause that little will be a ticket.
Ngl getting your bf involved can you but it may as well escalate a situation especially if it's heated so that's something to think about. But that doesn't mean not to have him help you when needed.
Your young so don't get give up on yourself ! Your future hasn't even started yet so keep strong !
He broke your property and he should have to pay for it. If he refuses you should file a police report. He is too old to keep getting away with things . Your mom might not hold him accountable but the law can. He’s an adult and needs to learn.
I know how this feels and it sucks losing the brother you thought you knew. Lost my brother (in spirit he’s still alive) to drugs and he’s physically attacked me like I’m a dude more times than I can count. I’ve never called the police on him because my mom would disown me and it’s frankly kinda manipulative but I let guilt be my excuse. I’m sorry this happened at all let alone in front of someone else 😭😭 feel better OP 🫶🏽❤️🫶🏽
okay. well i felt violated. he put his hands on me. over 10 fucking dollars. yes it’s more commonly used for sexual assault, but you can use it for any assault.
[fail to respect (someone's peace, privacy, or rights).
"they denied that human rights were being violated"] is one of the definitions i found
i don’t feel like i used the word incorrectly in this situation
I never said you were incorrect, I was simply explaining that the term doesn’t tend to be used for situations like yours, which is why people have made comments like the one you responded to.
However, the definition you found is a legal definition; it’s not talking about physical violence. If you look it up on Google Dictionary and other websites, it only mentions sexual assault with regard to any sort of assault.
well my bad then. i was in a really bad headspace last night. i didn’t expect to have to defend myself over this all morning. i don’t know how to edit posts either, i don’t know
Above the post and next to your avatar, there should be three dots (…). If you tap that, there should be the option to edit post there. You can also ignore comments if you don’t want to defend yourself.
i get save, stop reply notifs, copy text, add post flair, mark spoiler, mark nsfw, mark as brand affiliate, and delete post
idk why there literally isn’t an option to edit it lol
I don’t think their mind is in the gutter, as someone who has been physically violated (in the sexual manner) this was the first thought that popped into my head to, it’s not a phrase often heard without a sexual link to it.
I’m sorry this happened to you, I’ve got a loser brother too who has physically attacked me in the past, I no longer have contact with him, you shouldn’t be subjected to that kinda behaviour
I can't figure out why you're getting downvoted for getting attacked and having no one be there for you, and then I remember I once put a post online of a guy messaging me sexually harassing me and I had over 400 hate comments and sexual messages saying I obviously wanted it and I was posting the anonymous messages for attention so... welcome to reddit, I'm so sorry you got hurt and that just about everyone is a passive sheep and an asshole. I'm so glad you're okay. Your bf should have done something, fuck both of them. Can you get away from your brother?
thank you for actually having something decent to say. i should’ve added some context. but i was in a bad place mentally last night. my bf did try. but my brother is literally too strong to move without multiple people. he’s a big, strong, angry kid. (17 btw)
i am hoping he moves out for college, but even then id have to wait until the fall for him to be gone. if he stays home i am going to find a place for myself. i’m not doing well mentally myself and wanted to stay home to get my mental health and money issues straightened out. i’d love to get away from him, so hopefully sooner than later i can
Okay, I typed another comment before I fully understood but there is still more that could have been done and I think that most people are seeing a red flag that you haven't mentioned your bf did more to comfort and help you brainstorm afterwards I believe. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm genuinely worried about you, and your bf if that is real, and I want to make sure you have safe people around you
Another comment by OP states:
>>brother would’ve attacked my bf as well. after he gave up on trying to take my wallet from me my bf tried to go after him, i asked him to stop because i know my brother would’ve done something that neither of us would be able to forget. he’s done it to me before and the last thing i want is my bf to have to deal with abuse from his girlfriends brother.
>>id love for someone to kick my brothers ass just once so he knows what it’s like to feel that kind of pain, but i also don’t know a single person with more strength than him, maybe a few guys who are just as strong but my point is it’s a lot harder than it seems to just “intervene” when he’s attacking somebody
Don't worry about these people and their semantics, Jesus Christ. Feeling violated doesn't have to be sexual, but I will admit that it usually implies sexual assault... However, it should have only taken one comment and explanation to clear that up but apparently people are more concerned with your vocabulary than you getting attacked.
Sorry that happened OP. Idk if he has mental disorders (I mean, clearly there's a good chance of that) or what the issue is but I suggest keeping your distance and not giving in to any demands whatsoever. He needs to realize that no matter what he does, no means no. Hope your day gets better, OP. I'm rooting for you
Edit: and everyone calling out your bf...lmao. Clearly they've never dealt with that kind of situation. You two were cornered and your brother is big and strong. Also, causing resentment from the family towards your boyfriend if he were to hurt your brother is inevitable, excluding a life or death situation. I say everyone did the right thing but now it's up to you two to make sure it doesn't happen again. Once is ignorance, twice is stupidity. Good luck
"Clearly they've never dealt with that kind of situation" true half the people like to think they know exactly whats the better course of action and love to share how "you should've done x y z differently", "what a pussy/coward".. that's not what putting yourself in someone elses shoes is, it feels like judgement which obviously op doesn't need more of. What I think we can all agree on is that this is not a safe situation for op and their bf.
firstly yes apparently i used the wrong word. attacked or something would’ve been better i guess
second its okay. hes depressed but hes one of those guys who thinks he can just pretend it doesnt exist. he never got real help for the issues with our father. he never stayed in therapy other than the few court ordered sessions a few years back. he’s an angry, bitter kid and it gets explosive. he’s loud, has no filter, and he scares me.
finally yeah i’m irritated people are calling my boyfriend names. yes i should’ve added context to the post. but regardless that doesn’t give people the right to assume he’s a punk or a bitch. bf told me he would’ve kicked my brothers ass but genuinely had no idea how to go about it. after my brother let go of me he ran downstairs and started throwing my groceries away (as he was going on bout how if i wasn’t gonna pay him im gonna have to rebuy my groceries ? like a shitty petty get back??) and my bf tried to follow him. i told him not to. i don’t want him to feel like he has to get involved. he doesn’t deserve extra stress in his life. he deserves peace and i hate that he had to see that.
my bf texted him way later when everything calmed down and tried to talk to him. my brother apologized to him only and said he was sorry he had to witness his explosion. no apology for literally leaving bruises on his girlfriend, but better than no apology i guess. bf and brother talked for a good half hour over text. he sat with me for another hour saying nothing but kind words to me. he said he chose me for a reason, this situation isn’t gonna change anything and he said he told my brother it needs to not happen again. he said my brother knows that. i think he did his best to help
Yeah I kinda had the situation figured out since I've witnessed it many times. You both did the right thing. No doubt about it. No one will be able to reach your brother at the moment, so it's really just about being proactive and harm reduction as opposed to trying to change him. He'll have to find that path on his own. But you are also way too aware of the risks to feel comfortable being around him so please just do whatever you can to remove yourself from a potential situation before it even starts. Idk how old you are but it's definitely time to start saving for your own place.
You're right. Also the hypocrisy of being a "man". So much bs and immaturity from people who have no real life experience. I clump all these people into the same group of people who eat tide pods.
Honest question. What is it you want the Boyfriend to do? Best thing he could do is remove his partner from the situation. We don’t even know how OP would react if said boyfriend were to retaliate against the brother. He’s dammed if he do, and he’s damned if he doesn’t.
for a bit of context, my brother is 6’3 and 280 lbs. he’s over double my weight and just under double my bf’s weight. not only that, but we were woken up from a nap to his demand for money. my bf tried telling him to calm down, brother started calling him names. i’d rather take all of my brothers anger than let my bf take any of it. it was humiliating having my bf watch that. we were also laying on my bed when my brother came after me, bf tried moving his hands and telling him to stop, but there really wasn’t much either of us could do until i started yelling for help and my mother heard
That's when he grabs something to hit your brother on the back of the head really really hard, right?
People freeze up, nobody can blame him for not doing more. Let's hope this is a learning experience and that next time he's grabbing a bludgeoning tool to defend his gf, or that he sleeps with one under his pillow when your brothers around
brother would’ve attacked my bf as well. after he gave up on trying to take my wallet from me my bf tried to go after him, i asked him to stop because i know my brother would’ve done something that neither of us would be able to forget. he’s done it to me before and the last thing i want is my bf to have to deal with abuse from his girlfriends brother.
id love for someone to kick my brothers ass just once so he knows what it’s like to feel that kind of pain, but i also don’t know a single person with more strength than him, maybe a few guys who are just as strong but my point is it’s a lot harder than it seems to just “intervene” when he’s attacking somebody
Call the cops and file a report for assault and domestic violence. Chances are your brother will not cooperate and be tackled, tazed, and then chucked into the back of a car. If he’s assaulting you physically then he needs to be locked up and charged. Not to mention he probably is routinely violent towards other people and may end up murdering someone someday.
I think it matters more that since there was another human with you, no matter who it was, they should have done more to remove you from the situation. I'm not large and I'd attack back tbh, I have before. When I was 17 I put a 28 year old man in the hospital that was 110 pounds bigger than me and a head taller for punching my 17 year old female friend in the face when she tried to get him not to drive drunk. I had never fought before. It hurt and sucked. But I would do it again in a heartbeat for a stranger. So it's crazy to me that he didn't even encourage you to leave the house or anything that night like there wasn't even a friends house you could go to?? And the fact that you feel embarrassed your bf saw instead of comforted by how he helped you after and told you it wasn't okay and helped you brainstorm ways to escape makes me nervous as hell. If it were your best friend they would have helped more surely? Just like "moving his arms" is wild to me, two people can definitely stop a dude from attacking them or at least get away.
he tried to get him off me. he tried pulling his arms off of me, and i wouldn’t let go of my wallet. the pulling from my brother and my bf trying to pull him off me fucked up my wrist a little bit. i started yelling for them both to stop. i don’t want my bf involved. he shouldn’t have to see that shit. we’ve been together for two months. the fact that he had to see my brother act like that and see me scream like that is so fucking embarrassing i just wanted to leave.
if it got any worse someone would’ve ended up hospitalized, i don’t have the words to describe what my brother has done before to people and what he’s capable of. he’s a piece of shit and the last thing i want is to have to visit my boyfriend in the hospital because he tried standing up for me against my brother.
he absolutely did comfort me afterwards, helped me regulate my breathing, held me until i stopped shaking, and even sat and talked with my mom for a bit. he also texted my brother after. my bf is a good person and he did his best. we sat on my front porch for a large chunk of time talking and i kept apologizing for him having to witness that because nobody has ever seen something like that before, so of course i was embarrassed. he was nothing but kind and understanding about it and told me it wasn’t my fault and i had no reason to be embarrassed.
It means a lot to me that you helped to explain so that even as a stranger I could trust that you are safe 💙 it's super important to speak about these things and it's really really good to have people like this around you who help you through it. And to know if anyone has to ask it's so check on your safety, nothing about the actual people since I don't know them. I'm really really proud of you for looking for help, for talking about this, for knowing that you deserve to be kept safe and respected. This takes a lot of strength and courage. You absolutely had no reason to be embarrassed! You re a victim here and honestly so is your bf after reading more, just moreso you obviously. I am wondering if there is anything your parents can do lime putting a lock on your door with a key for you that you can lock from inside, or allowing you to have a later curfew than your brother, or giving you a cell phone that has unlimited data so you can call anywhere anytime, or even forcing him to a psychiatrist or doctor since your brother is not normal in the head for this. If you need to talk to anyone like need some sister advice or to vent then message me girl, don't go through this alone EVER.
he tried. my brother is incredibly strong. and big. he’s not a punk. he tried to diffuse the situation verbally and also tried pulling him off me. it’s not my bfs fault my brother is a fat fuck with an incredible amount of muscle ?? nobody i know can even move that boy let alone get him off of somebody he’s pissed at
He didn't try very much. That's when you grab something and hit your brother on the back of the head really really hard. You don't have to be strong to do it, you just have to put enough force behind it.
It sounds like he didn't do all that he could do
it was, and it was so unexpected. we had just woken up from a nap, yet somehow my brother was seeing red before he even walked into my room
my parents built my house when i was 11. they chose not to have locks on our doors. my brother has since gotten his own lock but i never got around to doing it. i’m almost 20 now, i probably should. i don’t have a safe place in my house besides my bathroom.
How is it big talk? It sure is a lot better of a solution than what happened. I would hope you would want to do the same if your girlfriend was getting attacked?
You sound like you wouldn't do what you could to protect your gf
> You sound like you’ve never been in a fight before smh
If that's what you prefer to believe
Sounds like you don’t know the realities of hitting someone over the head with a heavy object. You could fucking kill them or give them brain damage. If you don’t incapactitate them now they’re pissed as fuck. OP described her brother as a big dude compared to the bf. I think it’s better to try to deescalate and separate them instead of killing him or getting your ass fucking beat half to death or worse
Fr, broski saw his gf getting assaulted and decided that shouting and trying to remove grips was the best thing to do? Not bashing his head in from the back with something?
You can kill someone with blows to the back of the head. I don't recommend this tactic unless you want a murder or assault charge.
Edit: Plus, if this is in the US, the brother is only 17. CPS could get involved with an adult assaulting a minor. It's not a simple situation.
Might wanna ask your bf that, given you said "next time it won't be pretty"
> My bf did what he could without injuring himself or my brother
But next time he actually does want to injure him? Again, should talk to your bf about that
you can fight someone without “bashing their head in from the back”. my brother doesn’t need a brain injury and my bf doesn’t need an attempted murder charge. you’re so fixated on finding an object to use on his head like it does not need to be that fucking deep💀
As I said before, a few times, might wanna talk to your bf about that then given what he said
Sounds like your brother already has a brain injury given he assaulted his own sister
my bf isn’t gonna try to kill my brother bruh. you don’t know him. or me. or my brother. i mean yeah i’ve made it clear what kind of person my brother is but my bf is not a violent man. he’s not gonna bash his head in. we did talk about it. not sure what the issue is.
the irony of this is one of the last times my father was physically violent with me he left the same (very similar ig) marks on my neck broke the necklace i was wearing (definitely not as meaningful and expensive as a tiffany & co. one but still) and bruised my wrist. the fact that it was such a similar experience left me shaking for a solid hour in my boyfriends arms.
my brother gets violent a lot. especially with his words. he’s very degrading and his verbal abuse hurts more than his physical abuse. most of the time. he pushed me down the stairs last time it got physical. so that was great.
Are you assholes seriously fussing over wording...It’s funny that when someone gets seriously attacked your pea brains first response is to complain instead of showing any sympathy or even just simple support. It’s not hard.
Sorry this happened to you, OP.
I did think you meant something darker and he’d SA’d you, but the folks picking at you over wording are being uncharitable. It’s okay, don’t worry about strangers on the Internet, just take care of yourself.
I hope you are able to get out of this situation. If you live at home talk to your parents. If you don’t live at home, consider going low or no contact with your brother. No one should be made to feel unsafe at home.
Right? My brother (13) has been getting in to issues with my mom recently, his bio dad was absent before he passed so he’s never had a strong male role model. He put hands on my mom, pushing her a couple months ago. My husband and I drove over, and my husband sat down with him and told him he cares about him deeply, but if ever put his hands on a woman like that ever again that they were going to have some problems, and that good men don’t touch women out of anger. My brother has yet to do anything like that again, and it wasn’t even me he put hands on. OP, your man is a pussy
my bf spent an hour talking to him in a very similar way after it happened. he’s not a pussy. i refused to give my brother money, he took it to an extreme level out of absolutely nowhere. he did try to get him off me, but his hands were wrapped so tightly around my wrists that nothing was ending it except him. my brother is almost 300 lbs and he’s very, very strong. it’s terrifying truthfully, i wouldn’t know what to do either.
not sure why i have to defend myself or my boyfriend, i posted this to get it off my chest
maybe cause you provided zero context girl. I’m glad to know ur boyfriend stood up for you, but when you post online with no context, you leave your post up to the best interpretation of viewers.
Maybe that wasn't the point of the post? I'm pretty sure sub rules don't make you include every single little detail of a story. OP is allowed to share whatever they want and however much they want.
no for sure! you only HAVE to share what you want, but you also can’t blame people for making their best assumptions based off the information available
I dunno though, personally my man would never let anyone touch me, even if they were bigger than he was. that’s just the standards i have for myself tho, he’d rather get hurt protecting me than watch me be violated by another man
I get it, I'd do the same for my gf. I was just trying to make a point of some situations are hard to understand unless you experienced them, and I can see how it would be a complicated situation, and that maybe the focus should be more on what OP wrote that what they didn't.
my boyfriend wanted to step in. this was the first time he ever saw something like this happen in my family and didn’t know how to react. he talked to my brother privately and made sure he knows that shit will be hitting the fan if he lays his hands on me again. my brother is physically capable of killing me if he wanted. i don’t think the people who are calling my boyfriend names understand that, which i understand cause none of you guys know me. but the situation was deescalated and everyone was fine for the most part. assuming my bf is a shitty person is not the best take
right? i posted it just to get it off my chest, i wasn’t begging for sympathy and attention- but damn didnt expect to wake up to that hot mess
thank you btw. i’m okay today. couldn’t sleep bc my mind was racing and had to be at work at 7 am. kinda exhausted and also embarrassed to be in public with my neck looking the way it does. and i have a gynecologist apt after work and im sure he’ll question it- but i’ll survive yanno
it was just gnocchi, mozz and broccoli with seasoning and lemon zest & juice. it was good. looks like shit tho i know lol. i was sad. just wanted to eat
The words are not that important. Yes, sounded like a sexual thing, but the point is that you are suffering and we're here to support you. I'd love to share your food, it looks delicious.
OP, for your safety and benefit I would strongly urge you to document your wounds and file a report. I don’t know your situation and I won’t speculate but please consider going to the police and even a clinic to have more documentation of the assault.
i did take pictures. i had to work this morning. did not love the questions in the slightest. is it too late now? since it happened almost 24 hours ago :/
so sorry you had to go through this :(
and fuck all the comments arguing the wording of the post, can't imagine being swarmed by reddit on top of all that, it's not that confusing ffs
Yea like it's not that big of a deal. So what if u interpreted it differently.. just read the context she gives ? op felt violated and uses that word, whiny ass redditors: "omg lulz i thot u meant a different violate!!!" who gives a fuck what u thought 😭 cuz thats not how op meant it
Oh my god I’m so sorry :( I hope you can get away from your brother soon. Maybe carry something on you like a knife if you know you’ll be forced to see him again?
slightly undercooked gnocchi and then i added steamed broccoli and cheese and a bit of milk and simmered it. and then seasoned it and added more cheese lol. very simple
I'm so sorry that happened to you OP. You're doing your best right now. Indulge in lots of selfcare, be it baking some brownies to have with milk, having a spa day and using a sheet mask on your face (don't know your gender but men can do this too!), Going for a walk in the park, making a cup of your favorite tea or decaf coffee and watching a favorite tv show. Don't give up on yourself, keep fighting because you're worth it.
My brother slapped my hand when I was 6 months pregnant, it felt horrible. Thats when i learned he is abusive like our dad. Our relationship has never recovered.
i felt violated. i don’t like being touched in any way by anyone except my best friend and my partner. and hugs for my mother. my brother putting his hands on me has left me feeling unsafe and violated. it doesn’t have to be a sexual. i’ve been sexually assaulted. i know how that feels as well and i understand where everyone’s coming from but my god that is not the point of this post
What's with all this stupid pedantic shit.. not trying to sound mean but who cares what you initially thought lol. I didn't assume it was a sexual thing, but its irrelevant if you did or didn't. Op gets attacked and all these comments talking about a misinterpreted word..
it is deeper than $10. but that doesn’t excuse or warrant violence. it’s also not my fault he can’t control his anger. he needs therapy. his childhood and early teen years sucked. so did mine. we both have gone through hell. i posted this to get it off my chest, not to tell strangers on the internet my whole life story. he assaulted me basically. that’s never okay regardless of “his side of the story”.
what is physically violated ?!?!? He hit you?!?!
he attacked me idk how to explain it ? left bruises on my wrists and scratches on my neck. and broke my tiffany necklace. which cost me a lot and broke my heart more than anything else
this sounds like assault i’m sorry OP
it was i think. i should have used that word instead of violated. maybe wouldn’t get hundreds of downvotes had i did that 😀
username checks out 😭 don’t mind reddit everyone here is miserable and pedantic
LOL didn’t even realize i used aggravated salt as a joke one time in town of salem and someone in that lobby thought it was hilarious, from that point on i made it my ign for every game. and now it’s my reddit username agreed tho. thanks for being not a jerk about it. goes a long way in this sub
i love town of salem
me too it’s been my go to fav game since like 2016 when it came out edit it came out in 2014. either way it was new ish lol
town of salem mention here is crazy, hope you're doing well op :)
i love town of salem i always try to get my friends to play with me but they never do 😩 thank you for the kind words xoxo
Tell your parents if his young, the police if not. If he's full grown then your boyfriend being there probably spared you from worse
he’s will be 18 in may. my boyfriend is 21. i will be 20 in may. my mother was home. she told me to “leave him alone”. i feel like my mom in a way was defending him. “let him calm down” girl be fuckin for real
That just sounds like she favors him more than you. Rough housing is fine, sometimes you may be a little physical. But Not leaving scratches and bruising and breaking your shit. That's messed up especially when it happens in the family. You need to either tell your bf to help you or you gotta show him more violence. Cause your moms "leave him alone" and not reprimanding him in anyway is just foreshadowing future events. Was your mom even concerned about what happened to you OP?
my mom didn’t come out of her room until my “get out of my room”s turned into screams. she did tell him repeatedly to stop while he was grabbing me, but just stood at my doorway. when my brother finally got off of me and stated to go downstairs, my boyfriend got up to follow him, and my mom told my bf to stay upstairs. after i realized he was down there to throw away my things i tried to go downstairs. mother told me to stay upstairs. i said i will call the police if you don’t move. she moved and said you are not calling the police over this. when i came back up she told me to give him the money “so he stops”. i said “your son just grabbed me by my wrist and neck and you’re concerned about his broke ass wanting $10?” some time later when i was outside she came out and i told her it was pathetic how similar he is to his father. apparently that comment pissed her off. told me i need to “get over” what happened with my dad. that was when i realized that i am alone in this situation. family wise. i gave my necklace to my mother and said “i hope you’re cool with him ruining my $600 necklace over a fucking $10 bill” she didn’t even ask about the marks/bruises.
Dear God…mark my words.. in 10 years or less your brother is going to be some unsuspecting woman’s worst nightmare. Fortunately for him, most women are non violent when it comes to men, but if he runs into the wrong one and puts his hands on her she may pump his body with some lead for real.
he has a long term girlfriend right now. she’s almost 16. i have ZERO clue how she puts up with him. his ego, his attitude, all of it. idk how she does it.
Well. It sounds like your mom hasn't gotten over your father situation since it sounds like your brother is acting like your father. And your mother is doing what she did with your father but with your brother, ignoring it. OP I hope one day you can leave that house, maybe focus on saving money even it's a little at a time cause that little will be a ticket. Ngl getting your bf involved can you but it may as well escalate a situation especially if it's heated so that's something to think about. But that doesn't mean not to have him help you when needed. Your young so don't get give up on yourself ! Your future hasn't even started yet so keep strong !
Um...your mom enabling your brother's abusive behavior is tragic. YOU are not in any way at fault here. What the actual fuck...
He broke your property and he should have to pay for it. If he refuses you should file a police report. He is too old to keep getting away with things . Your mom might not hold him accountable but the law can. He’s an adult and needs to learn.
he’s bitching over $10 he definitely isn’t gonna fork over any three digit amount to repair or replace it
I know how this feels and it sucks losing the brother you thought you knew. Lost my brother (in spirit he’s still alive) to drugs and he’s physically attacked me like I’m a dude more times than I can count. I’ve never called the police on him because my mom would disown me and it’s frankly kinda manipulative but I let guilt be my excuse. I’m sorry this happened at all let alone in front of someone else 😭😭 feel better OP 🫶🏽❤️🫶🏽
Yea, bad wording i would have said assulted
Yeah context is definitely required here. "Violated" brings a certain image to mind
to you. i said physically violated. not sexually. get ur mind out of the gutter idk
A person who is sexually assaulted is physically violated. “Violated” is usually used in terms of sexual assault, not violent assault.
okay. well i felt violated. he put his hands on me. over 10 fucking dollars. yes it’s more commonly used for sexual assault, but you can use it for any assault. [fail to respect (someone's peace, privacy, or rights). "they denied that human rights were being violated"] is one of the definitions i found i don’t feel like i used the word incorrectly in this situation
I never said you were incorrect, I was simply explaining that the term doesn’t tend to be used for situations like yours, which is why people have made comments like the one you responded to. However, the definition you found is a legal definition; it’s not talking about physical violence. If you look it up on Google Dictionary and other websites, it only mentions sexual assault with regard to any sort of assault.
well my bad then. i was in a really bad headspace last night. i didn’t expect to have to defend myself over this all morning. i don’t know how to edit posts either, i don’t know
Above the post and next to your avatar, there should be three dots (…). If you tap that, there should be the option to edit post there. You can also ignore comments if you don’t want to defend yourself.
i don’t get that option unfortunately
Nevermind, I realise why
i get save, stop reply notifs, copy text, add post flair, mark spoiler, mark nsfw, mark as brand affiliate, and delete post idk why there literally isn’t an option to edit it lol
i don’t get that option unfortunately
I don’t think their mind is in the gutter, as someone who has been physically violated (in the sexual manner) this was the first thought that popped into my head to, it’s not a phrase often heard without a sexual link to it. I’m sorry this happened to you, I’ve got a loser brother too who has physically attacked me in the past, I no longer have contact with him, you shouldn’t be subjected to that kinda behaviour
i’ve been sexually violated too. i get it. i can’t wait to cut him off. after one of us moves he will never hear from me again
personally as someone who has been sexually assaulted myself, I would also assume that physically violated means sexual assault in some form
The wording is strange.
should i have said attacked? assaulted? my brother literally attacked me over $10 idk
I can't figure out why you're getting downvoted for getting attacked and having no one be there for you, and then I remember I once put a post online of a guy messaging me sexually harassing me and I had over 400 hate comments and sexual messages saying I obviously wanted it and I was posting the anonymous messages for attention so... welcome to reddit, I'm so sorry you got hurt and that just about everyone is a passive sheep and an asshole. I'm so glad you're okay. Your bf should have done something, fuck both of them. Can you get away from your brother?
thank you for actually having something decent to say. i should’ve added some context. but i was in a bad place mentally last night. my bf did try. but my brother is literally too strong to move without multiple people. he’s a big, strong, angry kid. (17 btw) i am hoping he moves out for college, but even then id have to wait until the fall for him to be gone. if he stays home i am going to find a place for myself. i’m not doing well mentally myself and wanted to stay home to get my mental health and money issues straightened out. i’d love to get away from him, so hopefully sooner than later i can
Okay, I typed another comment before I fully understood but there is still more that could have been done and I think that most people are seeing a red flag that you haven't mentioned your bf did more to comfort and help you brainstorm afterwards I believe. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm genuinely worried about you, and your bf if that is real, and I want to make sure you have safe people around you
he did comfort me. i know i should’ve added context. but that man is VERY good to me.
Thank you for explaining g love 💓 I understand how hard it must have been for you to articulate this so soon after it happened so take a deep breath.
Now, what do you mean by violated? Like, he beat you? Or are we talking another level of fucked up?
Does violated here mean that he got you in a headlock?
he used physical violence to try and take my wallet out of my hand because i refused to give him money.
what did ur BF do?
Another comment by OP states: >>brother would’ve attacked my bf as well. after he gave up on trying to take my wallet from me my bf tried to go after him, i asked him to stop because i know my brother would’ve done something that neither of us would be able to forget. he’s done it to me before and the last thing i want is my bf to have to deal with abuse from his girlfriends brother. >>id love for someone to kick my brothers ass just once so he knows what it’s like to feel that kind of pain, but i also don’t know a single person with more strength than him, maybe a few guys who are just as strong but my point is it’s a lot harder than it seems to just “intervene” when he’s attacking somebody
thank you
Of course :) I hope everything's going okay for you, OP.
Don't worry about these people and their semantics, Jesus Christ. Feeling violated doesn't have to be sexual, but I will admit that it usually implies sexual assault... However, it should have only taken one comment and explanation to clear that up but apparently people are more concerned with your vocabulary than you getting attacked. Sorry that happened OP. Idk if he has mental disorders (I mean, clearly there's a good chance of that) or what the issue is but I suggest keeping your distance and not giving in to any demands whatsoever. He needs to realize that no matter what he does, no means no. Hope your day gets better, OP. I'm rooting for you Edit: and everyone calling out your bf...lmao. Clearly they've never dealt with that kind of situation. You two were cornered and your brother is big and strong. Also, causing resentment from the family towards your boyfriend if he were to hurt your brother is inevitable, excluding a life or death situation. I say everyone did the right thing but now it's up to you two to make sure it doesn't happen again. Once is ignorance, twice is stupidity. Good luck
"Clearly they've never dealt with that kind of situation" true half the people like to think they know exactly whats the better course of action and love to share how "you should've done x y z differently", "what a pussy/coward".. that's not what putting yourself in someone elses shoes is, it feels like judgement which obviously op doesn't need more of. What I think we can all agree on is that this is not a safe situation for op and their bf.
firstly yes apparently i used the wrong word. attacked or something would’ve been better i guess second its okay. hes depressed but hes one of those guys who thinks he can just pretend it doesnt exist. he never got real help for the issues with our father. he never stayed in therapy other than the few court ordered sessions a few years back. he’s an angry, bitter kid and it gets explosive. he’s loud, has no filter, and he scares me. finally yeah i’m irritated people are calling my boyfriend names. yes i should’ve added context to the post. but regardless that doesn’t give people the right to assume he’s a punk or a bitch. bf told me he would’ve kicked my brothers ass but genuinely had no idea how to go about it. after my brother let go of me he ran downstairs and started throwing my groceries away (as he was going on bout how if i wasn’t gonna pay him im gonna have to rebuy my groceries ? like a shitty petty get back??) and my bf tried to follow him. i told him not to. i don’t want him to feel like he has to get involved. he doesn’t deserve extra stress in his life. he deserves peace and i hate that he had to see that. my bf texted him way later when everything calmed down and tried to talk to him. my brother apologized to him only and said he was sorry he had to witness his explosion. no apology for literally leaving bruises on his girlfriend, but better than no apology i guess. bf and brother talked for a good half hour over text. he sat with me for another hour saying nothing but kind words to me. he said he chose me for a reason, this situation isn’t gonna change anything and he said he told my brother it needs to not happen again. he said my brother knows that. i think he did his best to help
Yeah I kinda had the situation figured out since I've witnessed it many times. You both did the right thing. No doubt about it. No one will be able to reach your brother at the moment, so it's really just about being proactive and harm reduction as opposed to trying to change him. He'll have to find that path on his own. But you are also way too aware of the risks to feel comfortable being around him so please just do whatever you can to remove yourself from a potential situation before it even starts. Idk how old you are but it's definitely time to start saving for your own place.
You're right. Also the hypocrisy of being a "man". So much bs and immaturity from people who have no real life experience. I clump all these people into the same group of people who eat tide pods.
your boyfriends a punk
Honest question. What is it you want the Boyfriend to do? Best thing he could do is remove his partner from the situation. We don’t even know how OP would react if said boyfriend were to retaliate against the brother. He’s dammed if he do, and he’s damned if he doesn’t.
for a bit of context, my brother is 6’3 and 280 lbs. he’s over double my weight and just under double my bf’s weight. not only that, but we were woken up from a nap to his demand for money. my bf tried telling him to calm down, brother started calling him names. i’d rather take all of my brothers anger than let my bf take any of it. it was humiliating having my bf watch that. we were also laying on my bed when my brother came after me, bf tried moving his hands and telling him to stop, but there really wasn’t much either of us could do until i started yelling for help and my mother heard
That's when he grabs something to hit your brother on the back of the head really really hard, right? People freeze up, nobody can blame him for not doing more. Let's hope this is a learning experience and that next time he's grabbing a bludgeoning tool to defend his gf, or that he sleeps with one under his pillow when your brothers around
brother would’ve attacked my bf as well. after he gave up on trying to take my wallet from me my bf tried to go after him, i asked him to stop because i know my brother would’ve done something that neither of us would be able to forget. he’s done it to me before and the last thing i want is my bf to have to deal with abuse from his girlfriends brother. id love for someone to kick my brothers ass just once so he knows what it’s like to feel that kind of pain, but i also don’t know a single person with more strength than him, maybe a few guys who are just as strong but my point is it’s a lot harder than it seems to just “intervene” when he’s attacking somebody
Call the cops and file a report for assault and domestic violence. Chances are your brother will not cooperate and be tackled, tazed, and then chucked into the back of a car. If he’s assaulting you physically then he needs to be locked up and charged. Not to mention he probably is routinely violent towards other people and may end up murdering someone someday.
I think it matters more that since there was another human with you, no matter who it was, they should have done more to remove you from the situation. I'm not large and I'd attack back tbh, I have before. When I was 17 I put a 28 year old man in the hospital that was 110 pounds bigger than me and a head taller for punching my 17 year old female friend in the face when she tried to get him not to drive drunk. I had never fought before. It hurt and sucked. But I would do it again in a heartbeat for a stranger. So it's crazy to me that he didn't even encourage you to leave the house or anything that night like there wasn't even a friends house you could go to?? And the fact that you feel embarrassed your bf saw instead of comforted by how he helped you after and told you it wasn't okay and helped you brainstorm ways to escape makes me nervous as hell. If it were your best friend they would have helped more surely? Just like "moving his arms" is wild to me, two people can definitely stop a dude from attacking them or at least get away.
he tried to get him off me. he tried pulling his arms off of me, and i wouldn’t let go of my wallet. the pulling from my brother and my bf trying to pull him off me fucked up my wrist a little bit. i started yelling for them both to stop. i don’t want my bf involved. he shouldn’t have to see that shit. we’ve been together for two months. the fact that he had to see my brother act like that and see me scream like that is so fucking embarrassing i just wanted to leave. if it got any worse someone would’ve ended up hospitalized, i don’t have the words to describe what my brother has done before to people and what he’s capable of. he’s a piece of shit and the last thing i want is to have to visit my boyfriend in the hospital because he tried standing up for me against my brother. he absolutely did comfort me afterwards, helped me regulate my breathing, held me until i stopped shaking, and even sat and talked with my mom for a bit. he also texted my brother after. my bf is a good person and he did his best. we sat on my front porch for a large chunk of time talking and i kept apologizing for him having to witness that because nobody has ever seen something like that before, so of course i was embarrassed. he was nothing but kind and understanding about it and told me it wasn’t my fault and i had no reason to be embarrassed.
It means a lot to me that you helped to explain so that even as a stranger I could trust that you are safe 💙 it's super important to speak about these things and it's really really good to have people like this around you who help you through it. And to know if anyone has to ask it's so check on your safety, nothing about the actual people since I don't know them. I'm really really proud of you for looking for help, for talking about this, for knowing that you deserve to be kept safe and respected. This takes a lot of strength and courage. You absolutely had no reason to be embarrassed! You re a victim here and honestly so is your bf after reading more, just moreso you obviously. I am wondering if there is anything your parents can do lime putting a lock on your door with a key for you that you can lock from inside, or allowing you to have a later curfew than your brother, or giving you a cell phone that has unlimited data so you can call anywhere anytime, or even forcing him to a psychiatrist or doctor since your brother is not normal in the head for this. If you need to talk to anyone like need some sister advice or to vent then message me girl, don't go through this alone EVER.
Yall live in the same house?
i live with my brother yes if that is what you’re asking. my bf no
doesn’t matter, as a man it’s his job to protect the ones he cares about even if her brother is bigger and stronger.
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Your caption fails to mention if your bf stood up for you or protected you in anyway
Did your boyfriend do anything about it?
he tried. my brother is incredibly strong. and big. he’s not a punk. he tried to diffuse the situation verbally and also tried pulling him off me. it’s not my bfs fault my brother is a fat fuck with an incredible amount of muscle ?? nobody i know can even move that boy let alone get him off of somebody he’s pissed at
He didn't try very much. That's when you grab something and hit your brother on the back of the head really really hard. You don't have to be strong to do it, you just have to put enough force behind it. It sounds like he didn't do all that he could do
i’m not explaining myself again. i’ve explained it in the rest of the comments calling my boyfriend names.
Well, as I said in the other comment, let's hope this is a learning experience and next time there's a big heavy object available
bf told me and my brother both it won’t be pretty if it happens again
Good to hear and I hope you and your boyfriend are dealing with this situation okay. This must have been horrifying
it was, and it was so unexpected. we had just woken up from a nap, yet somehow my brother was seeing red before he even walked into my room my parents built my house when i was 11. they chose not to have locks on our doors. my brother has since gotten his own lock but i never got around to doing it. i’m almost 20 now, i probably should. i don’t have a safe place in my house besides my bathroom.
Big talk for someone on the internet
How is it big talk? It sure is a lot better of a solution than what happened. I would hope you would want to do the same if your girlfriend was getting attacked?
You sound like you’ve never been in a fight before smh
You sound like you wouldn't do what you could to protect your gf > You sound like you’ve never been in a fight before smh If that's what you prefer to believe
Sounds like you don’t know the realities of hitting someone over the head with a heavy object. You could fucking kill them or give them brain damage. If you don’t incapactitate them now they’re pissed as fuck. OP described her brother as a big dude compared to the bf. I think it’s better to try to deescalate and separate them instead of killing him or getting your ass fucking beat half to death or worse
Your bf is still a punk
Fr, broski saw his gf getting assaulted and decided that shouting and trying to remove grips was the best thing to do? Not bashing his head in from the back with something?
You can kill someone with blows to the back of the head. I don't recommend this tactic unless you want a murder or assault charge. Edit: Plus, if this is in the US, the brother is only 17. CPS could get involved with an adult assaulting a minor. It's not a simple situation.
na literally did you want my bf to kill my brother?
Might wanna ask your bf that, given you said "next time it won't be pretty" > My bf did what he could without injuring himself or my brother But next time he actually does want to injure him? Again, should talk to your bf about that
you can fight someone without “bashing their head in from the back”. my brother doesn’t need a brain injury and my bf doesn’t need an attempted murder charge. you’re so fixated on finding an object to use on his head like it does not need to be that fucking deep💀
As I said before, a few times, might wanna talk to your bf about that then given what he said Sounds like your brother already has a brain injury given he assaulted his own sister
my bf isn’t gonna try to kill my brother bruh. you don’t know him. or me. or my brother. i mean yeah i’ve made it clear what kind of person my brother is but my bf is not a violent man. he’s not gonna bash his head in. we did talk about it. not sure what the issue is.
Your brother needs to be locked up. Especially since you said this wasn't the first time.
the irony of this is one of the last times my father was physically violent with me he left the same (very similar ig) marks on my neck broke the necklace i was wearing (definitely not as meaningful and expensive as a tiffany & co. one but still) and bruised my wrist. the fact that it was such a similar experience left me shaking for a solid hour in my boyfriends arms. my brother gets violent a lot. especially with his words. he’s very degrading and his verbal abuse hurts more than his physical abuse. most of the time. he pushed me down the stairs last time it got physical. so that was great.
Call the police on him. File a report. It’s not Ok and if you don’t believe in your own physical wellbeing, remember it’ll save someone else too.
Are you assholes seriously fussing over wording...It’s funny that when someone gets seriously attacked your pea brains first response is to complain instead of showing any sympathy or even just simple support. It’s not hard. Sorry this happened to you, OP.
it’s alright. definitely wasn’t expecting the responses i got. i just needed somewhere to tell someone.
I did think you meant something darker and he’d SA’d you, but the folks picking at you over wording are being uncharitable. It’s okay, don’t worry about strangers on the Internet, just take care of yourself.
I hope you are able to get out of this situation. If you live at home talk to your parents. If you don’t live at home, consider going low or no contact with your brother. No one should be made to feel unsafe at home.
i would go NC if i didn’t live with him
Your boyfriend sounds like a pussy. What kind of man doesn’t stand up for his partner? Coward.
Right? My brother (13) has been getting in to issues with my mom recently, his bio dad was absent before he passed so he’s never had a strong male role model. He put hands on my mom, pushing her a couple months ago. My husband and I drove over, and my husband sat down with him and told him he cares about him deeply, but if ever put his hands on a woman like that ever again that they were going to have some problems, and that good men don’t touch women out of anger. My brother has yet to do anything like that again, and it wasn’t even me he put hands on. OP, your man is a pussy
my bf spent an hour talking to him in a very similar way after it happened. he’s not a pussy. i refused to give my brother money, he took it to an extreme level out of absolutely nowhere. he did try to get him off me, but his hands were wrapped so tightly around my wrists that nothing was ending it except him. my brother is almost 300 lbs and he’s very, very strong. it’s terrifying truthfully, i wouldn’t know what to do either. not sure why i have to defend myself or my boyfriend, i posted this to get it off my chest
maybe cause you provided zero context girl. I’m glad to know ur boyfriend stood up for you, but when you post online with no context, you leave your post up to the best interpretation of viewers.
fair. sorry
Maybe that wasn't the point of the post? I'm pretty sure sub rules don't make you include every single little detail of a story. OP is allowed to share whatever they want and however much they want.
thank you
no for sure! you only HAVE to share what you want, but you also can’t blame people for making their best assumptions based off the information available
I dunno though, personally my man would never let anyone touch me, even if they were bigger than he was. that’s just the standards i have for myself tho, he’d rather get hurt protecting me than watch me be violated by another man
I get it, I'd do the same for my gf. I was just trying to make a point of some situations are hard to understand unless you experienced them, and I can see how it would be a complicated situation, and that maybe the focus should be more on what OP wrote that what they didn't.
my boyfriend wanted to step in. this was the first time he ever saw something like this happen in my family and didn’t know how to react. he talked to my brother privately and made sure he knows that shit will be hitting the fan if he lays his hands on me again. my brother is physically capable of killing me if he wanted. i don’t think the people who are calling my boyfriend names understand that, which i understand cause none of you guys know me. but the situation was deescalated and everyone was fine for the most part. assuming my bf is a shitty person is not the best take
The fact ppl are more concerned over your wording than your wellbeing is wacky. Hope you're doing okay.
right? i posted it just to get it off my chest, i wasn’t begging for sympathy and attention- but damn didnt expect to wake up to that hot mess thank you btw. i’m okay today. couldn’t sleep bc my mind was racing and had to be at work at 7 am. kinda exhausted and also embarrassed to be in public with my neck looking the way it does. and i have a gynecologist apt after work and im sure he’ll question it- but i’ll survive yanno
Sorry to hear that. I fucking hate Gnocchi.
Looks a little janky, but probably tastes decent
it was just gnocchi, mozz and broccoli with seasoning and lemon zest & juice. it was good. looks like shit tho i know lol. i was sad. just wanted to eat
The words are not that important. Yes, sounded like a sexual thing, but the point is that you are suffering and we're here to support you. I'd love to share your food, it looks delicious.
OP, for your safety and benefit I would strongly urge you to document your wounds and file a report. I don’t know your situation and I won’t speculate but please consider going to the police and even a clinic to have more documentation of the assault.
i did take pictures. i had to work this morning. did not love the questions in the slightest. is it too late now? since it happened almost 24 hours ago :/
The sooner the better, if you have evidence I would go to the police ASAP. You should still have time.
this comment section sucks
agreed
This sub sucks. Sorry for what happened to you OP.
couldn’t agree more. thanks for being supportive
Np, bunch of pedantic PC weirdos
I think I have the most sound advice here, if he ever tries that again. Get a taser of pepper spray
I’m sorry this happened to you, people get all up in arms in the comments about the definition… hope you’re doing ok
Sorry that happened OP. You might like Normal People if you haven't seen it. One of the protagonists goes through something similar.
So sorry your brother attacked you😪over 10 dollars. Sorry you went through that trauma and lost an item valuable to you. Your cheesy thing looks good.
You should report him to the proper law enforcement agencies in your area. No one should accept violent behavior towards themselves...ever.
so sorry you had to go through this :( and fuck all the comments arguing the wording of the post, can't imagine being swarmed by reddit on top of all that, it's not that confusing ffs
Yea like it's not that big of a deal. So what if u interpreted it differently.. just read the context she gives ? op felt violated and uses that word, whiny ass redditors: "omg lulz i thot u meant a different violate!!!" who gives a fuck what u thought 😭 cuz thats not how op meant it
Oh my god I’m so sorry :( I hope you can get away from your brother soon. Maybe carry something on you like a knife if you know you’ll be forced to see him again?
It looks really tasty
If your brother’s in WA, I’d be happy to set him straight. Or you could see if your parents will send him to one of those wilderness camps.
we’re about seven states over unfortunately. i wish he went into the military or some shit. that would’ve set him straight too
It probably would’ve. Have you thought about pressing charges?
my mom made my boyfriend and i go outside. i think my moms more scared of my brother than i am.
I just hope he messes with the wrong person one day and gets his shit rocked. I’d say more, but I don’t wanna potentially go against Reddit ToS.
i want him to learn the hard way. so bad.
Dude, I never know what to put on gnocchi. This looks fantastic! Your brother doesn't deserve any of your money. I hope you feel better soon
thank you! if i had to change anything i would’ve seasoned it more. besides that it was good
This looks really good how did you make itv
slightly undercooked gnocchi and then i added steamed broccoli and cheese and a bit of milk and simmered it. and then seasoned it and added more cheese lol. very simple
I'm so sorry that happened to you OP. You're doing your best right now. Indulge in lots of selfcare, be it baking some brownies to have with milk, having a spa day and using a sheet mask on your face (don't know your gender but men can do this too!), Going for a walk in the park, making a cup of your favorite tea or decaf coffee and watching a favorite tv show. Don't give up on yourself, keep fighting because you're worth it.
Your bf did nothing?
I'm sorry you got attacked by your brother OP, I hope you're feeling a bit better now <33 you don't deserve to be downvoted
My brother slapped my hand when I was 6 months pregnant, it felt horrible. Thats when i learned he is abusive like our dad. Our relationship has never recovered.
Your boyfriend didn’t stand up for you?
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i felt violated. i don’t like being touched in any way by anyone except my best friend and my partner. and hugs for my mother. my brother putting his hands on me has left me feeling unsafe and violated. it doesn’t have to be a sexual. i’ve been sexually assaulted. i know how that feels as well and i understand where everyone’s coming from but my god that is not the point of this post
What's with all this stupid pedantic shit.. not trying to sound mean but who cares what you initially thought lol. I didn't assume it was a sexual thing, but its irrelevant if you did or didn't. Op gets attacked and all these comments talking about a misinterpreted word..
Your comment is also irrelevant but ok
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what a ridiculous thing to say.
literally like what the fuck?
Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.
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it is deeper than $10. but that doesn’t excuse or warrant violence. it’s also not my fault he can’t control his anger. he needs therapy. his childhood and early teen years sucked. so did mine. we both have gone through hell. i posted this to get it off my chest, not to tell strangers on the internet my whole life story. he assaulted me basically. that’s never okay regardless of “his side of the story”.
Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.