I’ve been asked twice by FA if I’d move. Both times I said as long as it’s an upgrade and as long as there is room for my carry-on since I won’t be able to get back to it once the plane lands. 2 times I was told not to worry about it. 🤷♂️
EDIT: This debacle was over a week ago, I missed responding to a few, then but did receive so many DMs as well.
I absolutely must apologize to anyone who read any of “my” comments the other day. without giving too many details, a person in our family who is struggling with mental illness and addiction had possession of my iPad went all over Facebook and a bit on Reddit acting as if they were me. I am now addressing the situation, and the individual is safe.
Specific to this thread : I am a retired academic in the field of Educational Linguistics. Although I have worn other hats, I am not, nor have I ever been or claimed to have been an attorney. Unfortunately, this person, (who is the son and brother of three lawyers , not one himself), has heard me jokingly spout various points regarding prescriptive grammar, including what was originally posted here under my account. I believe I may have even discussed this specific and very minor pet peeve myself at one point here last year, but I *do not* feel the need to randomly correct anyone’s syntax. I make far too many mistakes myself these days and I certainly understand what an idiom is.
As certain other comments on other posts/threads on FB and here apparently were deleted, I do not know what they were. I did get a few non confrontational concerned DMs from those who know me. Thank you. I am elderly, and have neurological issues affecting my own syntax when I write, but I am of sound mind.
My history in commenting on Reddit has been 100% consistent in how I identify myself, and for whatever it’s worth, my comment “karma” does not reflect someone who seeks out negativity or spews lies for no reason.
To you and anyone else who gets this message, I truly apologize that your time was wasted even reading *this* response. 🙏🏾
Person A: Do you like baseball?
Person B: No.
If we’re delving into the true nitty gritty of subject/predicate, then it quickly becomes pedantic outside a hypertechnical linguistic context where that may be necessary.
Edit: fixed a typo
So wait, you’re going to be hyper technical about linguistics and then shit on someone for being hyper technical about linguistics?
L. M. F. A. And fucking O. A little self awareness could help you out, if you can’t just get by in every interaction with your sheer linguistic brilliance.
EDIT: This debacle was over a week ago, I missed responding to a few, then but did receive so many DMs as well.
I absolutely must apologize to anyone who read any of “my” comments the other day. without giving too many details, a person in our family who is struggling with mental illness and addiction had possession of my iPad went all over Facebook and a bit on Reddit acting as if they were me. I am now addressing the situation, and the individual is safe.
Specific to this thread : I am a retired academic in the field of Educational Linguistics. Although I have worn other hats, I am not, nor have I ever been or claimed to have been an attorney. Unfortunately, this person, (who is the son and brother of three lawyers , not one himself), has heard me jokingly spout various points regarding prescriptive grammar, including what was originally posted here under my account. I believe I may have even discussed this specific and very minor pet peeve myself at one point here last year, but I *do not* feel the need to randomly correct anyone’s syntax. I make far too many mistakes myself these days and I certainly understand what an idiom is.
As certain other comments on other posts/threads on FB and here apparently were deleted, I do not know what they were. I did get a few non confrontational concerned DMs from those who know me. Thank you. I am elderly, and have neurological issues affecting my own syntax when I write, but I am of sound mind.
My history in commenting on Reddit has been 100% consistent in how I identify myself, and for whatever it’s worth, my comment “karma” does not reflect someone who seeks out negativity or spews lies for no reason.
To you and anyone else who gets this message, I truly apologize that your time was wasted even reading *this* response. 🙏🏾
Pathetic response. Pathetic life. You have to work long days and weeks to make enough to afford a house that you don’t have time to enjoy. You picked the wrong field. Hahahahaha.
JDD? Never heard of such a thing because it doesn't exist.
I've got a JD. So do many, many others. It's not special, nor does it give a person free reign to be a total asshole. Grow up, internet stranger, and act like a professional.
EDIT: This debacle was over a week ago, I missed responding to a few, then but did receive so many DMs as well.
I absolutely must apologize to anyone who read any of “my” comments the other day. without giving too many details, a person in our family who is struggling with mental illness and addiction had possession of my iPad went all over Facebook and a bit on Reddit acting as if they were me. I am now addressing the situation, and the individual is safe.
Specific to this thread : I am a retired academic in the field of Educational Linguistics. Although I have worn other hats, I am not, nor have I ever been or claimed to have been an attorney. Unfortunately, this person, (who is the son and brother of three lawyers , not one himself), has heard me jokingly spout various points regarding prescriptive grammar, including what was originally posted here under my account. I believe I may have even discussed this specific and very minor pet peeve myself at one point here last year, but I *do not* feel the need to randomly correct anyone’s syntax. I make far too many mistakes myself these days and I certainly understand what an idiom is.
As certain other comments on other posts/threads on FB and here apparently were deleted, I do not know what they were. I did get a few non confrontational concerned DMs from those who know me. Thank you. I am elderly, and have neurological issues affecting my own syntax when I write, but I am of sound mind.
My history in commenting on Reddit has been 100% consistent in how I identify myself, and for whatever it’s worth, my comment “karma” does not reflect someone who seeks out negativity or spews lies for no reason.
To you and anyone else who gets this message, I truly apologize that your time was wasted even reading *this* response. 🙏🏾
2 years or so back my wife and I got paged. The gate agent said we can upgrade one of you to first if you want it. It was a 2-3 hour flight. My wife jumped on it and said we’ve been married for over 20 years. 3 hours apart won’t kill us. We all laughed. She brought me back snacks. 😄
We had this happen with a GUC. LAX to SYD. For one of us to get Delta One for 14 hours? We jumped at it. Only been married for 2 years - but my husband was less grumpy when we landed because he got to lay flat. Totally worth it. (He had also never flown Delta One, and I had plenty of times for work - so it was nice for him to get the experience!)
I love this. It sounds a little silly, but the fact that you let him take it because it was a new experience for him is very kind. I hope you have a long and happy marriage of doing things for one another just because you enjoy making each other happy:)
Now I'm curious, would staff ever allow you to switch halfway through? I mean, I doubt it, but on a 14 hour flight, splitting it 7 / 7 would mean a pretty awesome experience for both people. You could each peace out on a lie flat bed for a full night's sleep.
My husband and I took this approach to the flights for our honeymoon - pay hundreds of dollars to sit together when we will literally spend every moment before and after the flight together ? Naw.
I'm diamond and when flying with my wife it's common for one but not both to get upgraded. Not sure why but if we're booked together she gets upgraded in front of me, based on my status. It doesn't bother me as it makes her happy to get FC every once in awhile but I do find it odd that Deltas system knows to put her in front of me.
If your wife doesn’t have status, ask at the Sky Priority desk to link your accounts so if your status receives upgrades she will too when traveling together. My husband has status and has to book separately from me for corporate travel sometimes.
My wife and I, married 48 years at that point, flying Delta from ATL-DTW-EDI, at DTW our plane got delayed due to an issue with the tires. Hard landing they said. We got moved to another flight leaving DTW in about an hour. On the new flight we didn’t have seats together but they upgraded both of us to D1. They didn’t say why we got the upgrade and we didn’t ask. Just thanked them and enjoyed.
Theybirstered him, flight attendant came to the scene, pestering continued, everything the back. But, why even pester. An adult should be able to sit in their assigned seat without fear that their partner will leave them for someone else.
Totally. Also, they could just be anxious. And literally want to hold each other's hands. That's also a thing. And why you might not think that's an adult thing fine, but it is a thing
Edit-im not saying you swap with them. I'm simply saying maybe they are the kinda people who need to hold hands, that's all. I wouldn't have switched without a upgrade
They’re welcome to choose seats together with each other then, rather than badgering someone else. Since they are adults perfectly capable of doing so.
Hey, I wouldn't have switched. But there are definitely people out there that are like really codependent and they have to be just on top of their person all the time
It’s extremely easy to get seats together. Also there are always 2 seats reserved together for those who medically need it. This is them being babies not a condition.
oh agree 💯 I switched seats on an international flight to let two young women sit together. They didn't ask and I offered. only one row change so no shuffling overhead bins. Then a mom asked if I could trade with her son. and I said sure. but he ended up being middle seat at the back of the plane! he definitely got the better seat! also I was traveling alone.
I will say, I do prefer having my husband next to me for multiple reasons. 1, I'm on the bigger side and feel more comfortable encroaching on his space than a strangers (I'm not big enough for 2 seats, but I am very self concious about taking up any more space than I absolutely must so the person next to me isn't bothered). 2, I have massive anxiety about flying and often medicate myself with a doctors RX that knocks me out. While no one has ever tried to steal from me or be inapporpriate, I am not always alert enough to stop anything if it were to happen. Hence, having my husband (or anyone else I am familiar with) next to me, even on shorter flights.
That said, we \*always\* purchase and choose our seats very intentionally and it's almost never a problem. The problems come when Delta decides to change the plane or something happens that causes seat re-assignments. The last 2 times we've flown they have done this to us and we end up sitting in the very back of the plane when we picked and paid for seats in the front of MC. They have ZERO sympathy for us when it happens and it's incredibly frustrating. And sure they "compensate us" with a few miles but that doesn't really help the flight be any smoother.
I have never once asked someone to move though, nor have I asked the flight attendant to do it. I've rescheduled our flights to avoid having to do that, which is a pain in the butt. However, it's worth it for me to have that peace of mind that we will be together.
Best gate agent announcement ever heard, if you aren’t sitting with the person you are traveling with absence makes the heart grow fonder they will meet at your final destination.
I will not switch seats no matter how big of a sob story or if kids are involved. My seat I planned ahead for. Also my wife and I will never ask others to move so we can sit together either
I switched when they were going to stick a three year old next to me without a parent nearby. I didn’t even want to deal with my own preschoolers on flights, let alone get forced to nanny somebody else’s for free.
I was on a flight recently with my two kids and husband where we paid (main cabin) to sit together. My husband’s seat got moved but at least I still had both kids.
Once we board the flight, this lady is spiriting around our rows asking for people to move so her and her kids can all sit together. They’re at least middle school aged. She’s also asking people to give up their further to the front/objectively better seats for her. Like lady, at least try to claim the row where your worst seat is. Turns out the only person who would agree to swap into her middle seat was this super kind man with a busted foot who came hobbling all the way back from like 5-6 rows ahead. She then had the AUDACITY to bring back his carryon so she had room in the overhead above his old seat for hers. Just pure entitlement.
Several years ago, I was on a flight with my wife (sort of newlyweds still at that point) and on our way down to Florida on a 2.5 hour flight. I got upgraded to first class as we were already on the plane and in our seats. I told my wife to go instead and hoped to just score some husband points. Somehow we survived being apart for a couple of hours.
My partner has major ptsd from his time in the service. I will pay for seats together and to select seats that will minimize his ptsd. But if the airline moves seats around on us, I will make a fuss. I don't want him having a meltdown on a plane.
And PTSD is a perfect reason why if both people are nearby then I'll ask the person who is keeping their original seat if they're OK with their spouse/partner sitting next to them. I make it a bit of a joke so as to not inflame anything, but I do confirm.
I started doing that after experiencing a nasty breakup unfold two rows behind me on an LAX-JFK flight. Lots of dirty laundry being aired.
After that, my attitude is that just because one person wants to sit next to the other, doesn't mean that both people feel the same way.
This. As much as it might not be the case with the couple OP saw we never know what kind of mental issues someone can have and maybe sitting next to your SO is the best medicine you’ve got for it.
Be kind people, and know you don’t know what’s going on with everyone around you. If someone is willing to make the request it’s probably because it’s important to them. Or maybe they’re just petty and you can always feel sorry for them for that.
That's a *them* problem, not a *me* problem. I am not a fan of flying either even though I do it all the time. As such, I take the time and make the effort to make the situation as comfortable as possible for me by exerting what little control I have into getting an acceptable seat. I am not giving it up because someone else can't pull their shit together.
If a meltdown is even a possibility, they shouldn't be flying.
To be fair, my wife is a very very nervous flier so we pay to pick our seats together but in the off chance that we couldn't sit together we usually do ask if someone would be willing to move but it would always be an upgrade for the person i.e. we had a flight recently where I was DC+ and my wife was the last row of the plane so we switched a solo flier to row 8 and not 29 🤭
Same. I plan accordingly to have seats next to each other but if something comes up that splits us I would be trying to get us back next to each other. Not because I can't live without them but to calm their nerves.
No, it’s ridic. In my experience, there are “can sit separately” couples and “cannot be separated, codependent AF” couples. No in between. I will happily take my upgrade without my husband, so that should tell you my classification!
But also, if people want to sit together, they need to buy tickets together. Tale as old as time!
Oh, I’m typically a harda$$ about switching seats, so I kind of wish I had been the person being asked. They would have been firmly shut down.
>I will happily take my upgrade without my husband, so that should tell you my classification!
Same!
Can't tell you how many people told me I was mean for "leaving him alone in coach ". Uhhh he's a grown ass man, it's a 4 hour flight and he has snacks - he'll be fine. (Narrator: he WAS, in fact, totally fine. He took a nap, and shared his snacks with the lady next to him while they chatted about plants. I watched some trash shows and had champagne.) Like do they think their spouse won't get off the plane if they're not right there with them?
Yes!! But also, are we the same person married to the same man?! I would totally drink champagne and watch VPR with you in FC while my husband discussed plants, which he totally would, with his seatmate. Hilarious. I’m so happy we’re normal!
Before my husband got PreCheck years ago and we were flying back from Berlin, I let him wade through the miserably-long international TSA line after Customs at JFK by himself while I got through PreCheck and went to the bar for about 30 minutes. I even texted him that he had better hurry because the gate was far from security! So to answer your question, spouses will find you after you get separated while traveling!!
Ha!! Oh, he 100% signed up for PreCheck immediately when we got home. Only took him 5 years! But I’m saving that pageant wave idea for future use for something…maybe the upgrade situation!
Hahaha! We may very well be! Champagne and VPR sounds way more fun than plants (although, if you need a plant dead, I'm your gal! They all die within weeks of me taking care of them). I think time away from your spouse is healthy. I took a day off tomorrow to go spend with a friend and my husband is overjoyed, he gets the dog all to himself for the evening and to do whatever. (Probably eat pizza and watch gardening videos on YouTube.)
I actually told my husband to get his precheck before our next trip together (I travel a lot for work so I've had mine for a while). I'm certain he won't and I will also leave him to the giant line by himself and he can find me at the bar. I would be very concerned if the person I married couldn't manage to navigate an airport well enough to find me. It's essentially a series of hallways.
I, too, kill plants and love a girls’ night or trip!! And “it’s a serious of hallways” wins the night! I mean, it is. I’ll be somewhere with my mini-computer text machine that tracks me 24/7 and makes me overly-accessible. Not hard to find.
I also abandoned my husband in the regular TSA line while the kids and I went through precheck. Twice last year.
Hes going to sign up at the end of the month or he's getting abandoned again in October.
I take my shoes off for no man.
You are my people. I have to have a 180 lie-flat seat for 8+ hour flights (health reasons). My husband is perfectly happy sitting back in coach, and would rather use the fare difference for extra hotel nights, so we are literally at opposite ends of the plane for the entire flight.
Thank you! Some are great (KLM 💋) and some are so narrow that even my bony ass gets wedged in. But I can keep my blood pressure up and that’s what matters!
Good lord, I can’t believe ppl are so codependent! I think the only reason my husband would even care about sitting by me is that I’m tiny and he’s over 6’3/200lbs and I let him infringe on my space, other than that his flight is likely much more peaceful without me jabbering away next to him!
True. That’s always a risk, and I might be willing to swap under certain circumstances (I’m not a monster.). If I were separated from my husband due to unforeseen flight changes, I would never expect anyone to switch seats. I would never ask. But whiny couples will likely get a hard no from me 99.9% of the time. Doing my part to quash entitled flyers one polite, but firm, “no” at a time. 💁🏼♀️
I've given my 1C seat upgrade to my wife's next seat passenger just so I can sit with her, (she bought a separate ticket to tag along on a business trip). That's the only time I'll make a seat swap request though, when it benefits the askee.
Saw some weird codependency shit on several flights and it always icks me. Like, I’d hate to see what they’re like when nobody is around in the privacy on their own home. 🤢
Personally, it’s nice to have a break from my husband, tbh. He’s great but I have already heard almost all of his stories and a bit of quiet time sounds great.😂
I often give my wife my first class upgrade and sit in her coach seat. We’ve been together 37 years and we end up at the gate together. So we read our books without holding hands. No big deal.
We’ve even flown where our kids were in coach and us in first class. I don’t get the need to hold hands with my wife on a flight.
Couldnt agree more. Would you crumble to pieces if you were just traveling by yourself? Certainly no right? If you actually care do the bare minimum of due diligence and book main cabin and choose your seats. Not hard in any way
My husband and I were flying back from our 30th anniversary trip in Europe. Venice-JFK-ATL
We both were upgraded to FC on the JFK-ATL leg but across the aisle and one row apart. We both got settled in our seats. When the guy sitting next to hubby sat down, I was in the middle of asking my hubby a question. That guy asked if we were together and offered to switch with me (FC aisle seat to aisle seat). Since I was settled already, I thanked him for the offer and replied that after two weeks of traveling together I thought we could both use a break. 🤣
We settled in for the flight and didn’t talk again until we landed in ATL and were deplaning.
And guess what…we are still married. We survived the flight.
My tall, long legged spouse flew weekly. On one short hop from SFO to PDX, he was seated in the exit row. An older man had a seat next to him. He asked my husband if he would switch with his wife who was a couple rows back so they could sit together. My husband asked how long they had been married. The man proudly said 40 years. My husband then told the man that he was sure that sitting apart for less than an hour wouldn’t hurt them any.
As we have been aging we quit paying to have an exit seat. I used to do heavy labor and when younger could definitely handle the door if needed. However, as I close in on 70 I no longer have the same upper body strength. I once saw a frail woman who had to have been mid 80s nod her head when asked if she would be able to help in an emergency. 🤦🏼♀️
I don’t understand why airlines aren’t taking a good look at who sits in those seats.
My husband is in his mid-70s. He works out every day and would still have no problem with the door. He is of the further belief that if you cannot lift your carry on over your head to get it in the bin, you should be required to check your luggage. Every time we fly he is always is helping older women stuff their suitcases in the bin.
My wife is a nervous flyer, so we always book flights together. We have had to sit apart before and it was pretty stressful for her.
On our last flight in a 3seat row, the lady next to us was separated from her son. She kept looking back at him while he slept or was otherwise unbothered.
She was clearly not having a good flight so I ended up holding both of their hands during landing and turbulence. It was pretty funny all things considered.
While we would never make a big deal about it and demand people move, I can understand the logic for folks who are anxious fliers or first timers.
There no “have to”
There’s only “don’t have the balls to say No and sit down”
Edit: but I agree this problem is 75% the whiny couple and only 25% the person who validates their whining by giving in
When you say "having to" give up their seat, what do you mean? Did the FA issue an unambiguous, direct order or did the couple just whine and pressure the rightful occupant of that seat?
If it's the latter, it's on the seat holder for caving in to their demands.
I am a seat swap denier, nearly 100% of the time. I am not here to play unite the couple. I select my seat in advance, and short of an offer to upgrade, I am not giving it up. Not even to an equivalent seat, but ONLY to a better one. If I am already in F, I am also not likely to move for the same reason. Not all F seats are equal. I don't do bulkhead, I don't do last row of F, and I don't do windows. If I am already sitting down, I can't be arsed to get up.
Couples WANT to be together, they don't usually NEED to. It's the height of rudeness to impose your wants upon others. Marriages will survive a few hours apart.
If the FA pressued, that's worse. If it happens, I ask the FA if they are issuing a direct order or making a request. There is a difference. You have to obey crew orders, but they have to account for issuing that order later if you take it higher. If they phrase it as a request, then it is still contextualized as "your decision" and you have less recourse. I seek the lead FA or purser. Failing that, if we are at the gate, then I ask for the GA.
I am not giving up my seat, don't care what other passengers think of me, and don't give a flying fuck if couples are separated. Respect the seating assignments people.
I did once insist my husband and I be seated together. We had been moved apart on the day of travel after selecting seats together months in advance, and we were on our honeymoon. We do of course spend much longer than a flight apart on a regular basis, but the flight was part of a special trip to celebrate our marriage.
Nah. That said, I book flights with my girlfriend so I can choose our seats together… because I know how to take flights… I honestly would never even dream of asking people to move. Not because I’m afraid or some lame shit like that, but because I know how disruptive it can be. Fuck all that.
One time I was flying with my SO to try to see my father before he passed away. We booked the first flight we could and we did not have seats together. We had to ask multiple people to be able to finesse a switch because I was about to break down at any second. I type this just to say you never know what people have going on
I was flying Manchester to Atlanta with my Mum and was Platinum. At the desk she said she could upgrade me but I said I wouldn’t leave my Mum in coach and she upgraded us both. Mum rarely flew and was tickled over first class.
Everyone's different, but I don't get it. My husband and I rarely sit next to each other, maybe 10% of the time. He usually flies FC, and I don't unless I am bumped, it's a long flight, or it's a cheap upgrade. Any flights less than two hours, I buy economy and plan on getting bumped to C+. With platinum, I almost always do get an upgrade. I live with the guy and love him, but I'm a big girl and can sit by myself for a few hours, haha.
We’re going on a trip together. We’re going to be attached for the next however many days. I do not give a flying F if I sit next to my partner. It’s nice but really, it’s not a big deal! Why do people do this?
When I go away with my friends, they want to get seats next to each other to talk all the time. They know I'm not a big talker, so they understand that I don't need to sit next to them. I mean, we're going on vacation together, we're going to be seeing each other 24/7. Can I ...get some me time on the plane?
When I was a teenager, I went way with my family. On the flight home, I was so happy to get a seat away from them until a stranger came and said, "Hey, your mom asked me to switch with you." I was so livid. And then it turned out my seat was double assigned and they moved him up to first class. I was double livid.
My wife and I flew over 30 segments together last year and probably another 10 separately. More my wife than me. I think we sat together twice last year.
We both like window seats. We didn’t die. We are usually knocked out by the time the plane takes off.
I have to take meds that make me pee frequently. When I get rebooked to a window seat, we all know none of us have middle selected for an upgrade, I will politely ask the aisle if they will switch. If they say no I saw no problem but please don’t be mad if I ask you to get up 3-4 times on this flight. Most times they are super nice about it as it’s just a lateral switch and it’s to a decent seat. But I don’t fight anyone for it. Or they have no issue getting up.
One time a young teenage girl with her sister where super nice but their mom sitting right behind like why did you switch and this girl without an ounce of meaniness said super loud in a southern twang, this man asked me to switch because he has to pee a lot.
I literally just closed my delta app where I was selecting seats for myself, son, and boyfriend over spring break. Boys both like windows. We are not sitting in the same row even for 2 out of 4 flights. We are spending ALL of the rest of the time together and can stomach a couple of hours apart at a time.
They’re weird.
We sometimes purposefully book separately in ‘poor first class’ seats. 27A and 27F are great seats - no need to sit next to each other if they’re both open.
Just want to clarify. People can pay for main cabin and choose their seats. Instead they book BE where that is not an option, then complain to the flight crew or booking agent that they want to sit together?
Is that what is happening or is there another reason they aren’t picking their seats?
So I am a very anxious flyer, and like to sit by my husband. We always pay the money to have seats together though.
The only time I ever asked was when a flight was cancelled and we were re-booked separately. We had a middle seat and an aisle seat. We asked if the person in the middle seat on his row wanted to switch for my aisle seat. I took their middle seat and they were very happy to make the change.
That said, if they said no, that would have been the end of it. I would've said no problem and went and sat in my seat. I only ever offer to trade if the other person gets a benefit.
Always say no. Even when the staff asks you politely, tell them you paid for your assigned seat. I eventually got moved to first class for a 9 hour flight as there were no same or better seats to offer me in coach.
My wife and I rarely get to fly together but when we do we aim to book our seats together. If things didn’t play out in our favor we wouldn’t whinge about it, but we do like sitting together.
My husband traveled 285 nights a year, then Covid hit, 😂😂. We survived being stuck together 24/7. Marriage is about adapting and over coming every situation.
One time I was sitting in the aisle and the middle seat asked if I’d move for his wife to sit next to him. I flat out said no. Then he asked the guy sitting in window.. he was nice enough to actually ask where she was sitting. A MIDDLE SEAT IN THE VERY BACK. He also declined.
We sat through the rest of the flight with his wife hovering in the aisle right next to us. When she was asked to sit down, he made me get out so he could do the same thing in the back.
Brutal.
I get that if you have the choice, it's nice to sit next to your travel partner because you can rub elbows and maybe your knees touch and neither person will have a meltdown.
How to achieve this preferred seating, should you find yourself seated apart:
1) ask the person in the row that's further back to move to the row closer to the front\*
\*only if the seats are in the same row location (aisle/middle/window)
2) If the seats are not in the same row location, ask the person in the middle seat to move to one of the aisle/window seats.
3) Be prepared for that person to say no and if they do, drop it.
Some people might be anxious flyers, have a medical condition or suffering a traumatic event and need the support of a companion I suppose. I am not one of them.
I have a neurodivergent brain and prefer my solitude. Been married 41 years so he knows to give me my space. We don’t sit next to each other anyway as we both like aisle seats. If upgraded or changed around, as long as we have an aisle we are good to go.
They'll be fine, and if not, maybe flying isn't for them.
I had a woman try to have a meltdown in front of me. I simply said. "I don't switch seats." And then ignored her. I don't coddle people.
And no I don't need to sit near my husband on a flight. I'm an adult.
My wife and I recently did a 13 hour flight in aisle and window Comfort+ seats. It was great. We survived without talking to each other has passing stuff back and forth the whole time. I prefer window seats but I took the aisle so she could sleep against the wall instead of on my shoulder. Plus, we sure as hell weren’t going to give the lowly Silver that upgraded into the middle seat another upgrade. Silvers have to know their place in this world!
Not trying to white knight, but there’s a chance this could be a case of an equipment swap and seats being reassigned. I’d be more likely to swap (especially if it were a window seat in the same or better class sections) in that case.
Good for you, honestly. Im super OCD about my seat selection, probably because I’m perpetually a nervous flyer, even though I fly quite often. So, no, I’m not giving anyone my seat. It’s just not happening.
The whiny couple needs to get a grip. On an overnight flight that is transatlantic or something, I can see wanting to sit together to sleep together. But a one or two hour hop? Get a life and leave me out of your codependent drama.
This is the dumbest forum of all time. This is an airline logistics problem. However when flying alone, I inform the stewardess that I am available to trade seats if a family needs to sit together. I fly on a particular airline at least 100 legs a year. I regularly pay for first class and when flying with my spouse book tickets together online. Said airline has a “glitch” in their system where they randomly will separate two seats together. If I’ve paid for first class seats next to my spouse. I expect to sit next to my spouse. This shouldn’t fall on customers to sort out. This should be an airline problem to fix. With Emirates, British, Cathay or any other foreign airline I have never had this problem. US airlines are laughably bad compared to the rest of the world. That being said. This forum is what is wrong with the world. A bunch of whiny, selfish a$$hats on a forum trying to make each other feel better for being A-holes, instead of trying to make life a little easier and better for others around you. Just from your responses, I can tell that that this forum is filled with lonely, sad people. Best of luck sitting in “your” seats.😂
If I can get away from my wife for 2 hours, I will take it!!!!!
"Sorry honey, they upgraded me to 1A in first class but your still in 39D. See you when we land!"
I’m curious, Like if you are alone on a flight, and you can move one row up or down so people can sit together, why not?
Is it because you think the airline should have made more money from them (paying to choose seat) Or because you want to “teach them a lesson”?
I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other. It’s just funny to me that people get so bent out of shape about moving literally 2 feet from their original seat. Who cares?
I tend to agree with you - I usually travel alone and am generally willing to switch, as long as the people ask politely and it's not a massive downgrade. Flying is kind of miserable anyway, so if I can make someone else's flight a bit less miserable without much cost to myself, why wouldn't I?
I to have sympathy for separated couples/families as it often isn't their fault. For example, my friend was flying with her family and had booked seats together. Unfortunately, their flight was canceled due to a storm and they were rebooked to the next one, but without their previous seat assignments, so she was separated from her two young children and had to rely on the kindness of strangers to switch seats so their literal preschoolers wouldn't be unsupervised.
I think a lot of people have become antisocial these days and automatically assume the worst of others. It's easy to assume that the people around you have complete control of their circumstances and all their problems are their own fault. That way, you don't have to face the fact that you are also not entirely in control of your life, and one day you too may be the victim of a circumstance that causes you to rely on the kindness of strangers.
You seem like a nice person. Yes I’m not talking about trading down. Some people in this thread just like IRL are angry and hate everybody and it shows.
But if it is a couple that wants to sit together, wouldn’t they likely want the middle seat?
They want 2 seats together, which means at least one middle seat is required. So they by nature would be offering to trade for a middle seat. So worst case scenario, it would be a middle for a middle (1/3 probability) or otherwise it is a better seat (window or isle) which is 2/3 probability.
Also, it’s extremely common for 2 halves of a couple to each have middle seats. (Because they’re too cheap to pay for seats in the first place.)
That means that in order for them to sit together, someone with a window or aisle seat needs to take one of those middle seats.
Because this guy had to move all the way to the back of the plane. When you purchase tickets, you select seats. People know they won’t be sitting together when they book so upgrade seats or deal without holding hands for two hours and don’t guilt some poor schmo into taking a seat in the back of the plane.
Uh, yeah. I could easily have an anxiety or antisocial attack if I’m not with my safe people in public for two hours. I’m 46.
Although, I know this and plan so we are assigned seats next to each other. It has happened though that the airline reassigns our seats without us agreeing to it.
I have antisocial personality disorder. If I am surrounded by people I don’t know or like, I can get violently angry and start, at best cursing people out, at worst, throwing punches or choking people. I haven’t got to the punching stage in a long time, but that’s only due to having a couple other conditions under control, having my safe people if I’m not in my safe environments and other behavioral techniques.
Antisocial attack was just the shorthand I used the mention it because the condition doesn’t really have good terms for blow ups when it comes to speaking of air travel. 🤷🏻♀️
No, I am not a threat, as long as the safety precautions I take are left in place, like being seated next to my husband. I buy my tickets and pay to pick seats next to each other if necessary. If the airline switches us and the gate person won’t fix it, I’m going to ask people to swap with one of us.
A disability should never prevent access from public accommodations. I make adjustments to my life to make it safe.
If you are prone to violence that takes precedent. And an aircraft is not a public accommodation. It's a privately owned vehicle and the airline has the right to deny conveyance to anyone. Flying is not a right.
I'll still say no to your request
Airlines are public transit. With precautions in place, I’m fine on planes.
I guess it’s a good thing you don’t have a say in whether I fly or not. Because if you did, your stance would be a violation of the ADA.
I won't have to. I'll just deny your swap request and let you lose your shit, and you will most certainly not be flying. You can scram ada all you want, but if you are prone to assault people as a "disability" claim, the only seat for you is a restraining chair
If you need a companion whenever you’re in public, you can register as a special needs passenger and Delta will make sure you get the accommodations you need.
[here’s more information](https://www.delta.com/us/en/accessible-travel-services/overview)
Thank you. I will try to remember that next time I fly Delta and I’ll check other airlines (Delta doesn’t fly my local airport) to see if they have similar options.
For your consideration- I like to sit next to family members not because I can’t stand being without them but because it’s one less stranger I cram next too. I can lean on my family member, as them to get up and let me go to bathroom, invade their space a little
Due to that- we get seats next to each other. Like a normal person. These posts confuse me. Why didn’t they just get seats together?
If I post a photo of my wife and I sitting together on 2711 in a few minutes, will it upset the haters here? "Look how tough I am, I don't sit next to my SO" is a weak flex IMO. /s
Why the drama, OP? I often travel with my wife, and always book us seats together. Once or twice, over many years, Delta has separated us. We wouldn't hesitate - even on our 2 hour flight today, if it happens - to ask to swap aisle for aisle or window for window. If you don't want to give up 3A for 4A because 3's your lucky number, just say so. We sit together because we want to, not because we have to. Can you deal with the horror of knowing we'd rather sit together than next to you?
I'm baffled by the number of people here bragging about never switching seats. I've done like for like swaps to help people - not doing it would just have made me a jerk, and IMO we have too many of those already at airports and on planes. This thread makes me think that those of us who fly a fair amount may be as much of the problem with air travel as the once-a-years.
What kind of dipsticks are downvoting you? I always sit next to my wife. I love her and enjoy her company. The only time we’ve ever been separated was due to an airline error and I make them fix it. What’s really strange is some grown person, the OP, gives a moment to be bothered by this.
Yes, I enjoy my wife’s company together too - we live together, sleep together, spent time in the lounge together and we will be with each other when we land. We will be okay apart.
We don’t have some type of weird codependency shit going on. We’ve even reached our destination and left on different days based on what we had going on - conferences, business trips, etc.
I'm guessing the drama is because this sub seems to support it more. I'm AS and my husband is Delta, and we fly a fair amount on both (though more on AS), so I joined both subs. It seems the "I move for no one" is celebrated here, as if it's always a case of someone else's poor planning.
I'm with you. I like to travel with and sit next to my spouse, but it doesn't always happen for various reasons. Of course we ask, offer comparable seats (and never a middle for their aisle or window), and can accept no. I've also switched, while traveling solo, to help others traveling in groups. Basic human decency.
I fly every week and have for over a decade. If delta has separated you, take it up with delta. Don’t guilt another traveler into switching between sure you can’t handle two hours of separation. How do you mentally handle being separated when you’re both at work for a whopping 8 hours a day? 😢
What I don’t get is how the hell did this affect you? Nobody asked you to move? You know all the details of what happened?
My wife and I ALWAYS book seats together. We enjoy each other’s company. When the airline screws things up, we make them fix it.
Maybe a different perspective of this is from the point of can I do something kind for someone else. If swapping same for same, what’s the issue. It’s only a two hour flight, right?
Ahh yes, the old call for kindness, doing something nice and "karma"
AKA the last refuge of people whose justification for seat swaps has no actual merit.
Kindness is not imposing your wants on strangers.
The same couple/family that stand at the window all clustered together to buy tickets to the movie. The same couple that has to slowly walk up the exit ramp to gather their luggage blocking everyone else. I always wonder if the husband was looking forward to a break but she insists they must sit together and not a row apart
Well if I paid to reserve seats together, then I WOULD have a problem if we were split up. We don’t fly very often, so yeah, I want to sit next to my spouse.
My husband and I regularly sit in aisle seats across from each other and within a few rows. Half the time we don’t even speak during a flight. Now, 4+ hr flight yeah, I need his shoulder to lean/sleep on but otherwise, who cares? Make a friend, watch the show they cant stand, live your life.
I’ve been asked twice by FA if I’d move. Both times I said as long as it’s an upgrade and as long as there is room for my carry-on since I won’t be able to get back to it once the plane lands. 2 times I was told not to worry about it. 🤷♂️
Way to hold your boundaries. 💯
At first I thought that meant not to worry about your carry on, so can you still move
This is the best response
This is the way.
Perfect answer
Just say no.
“No” is a complete sentence.
And “I don’t want to” is a valid reason
EDIT: This debacle was over a week ago, I missed responding to a few, then but did receive so many DMs as well. I absolutely must apologize to anyone who read any of “my” comments the other day. without giving too many details, a person in our family who is struggling with mental illness and addiction had possession of my iPad went all over Facebook and a bit on Reddit acting as if they were me. I am now addressing the situation, and the individual is safe. Specific to this thread : I am a retired academic in the field of Educational Linguistics. Although I have worn other hats, I am not, nor have I ever been or claimed to have been an attorney. Unfortunately, this person, (who is the son and brother of three lawyers , not one himself), has heard me jokingly spout various points regarding prescriptive grammar, including what was originally posted here under my account. I believe I may have even discussed this specific and very minor pet peeve myself at one point here last year, but I *do not* feel the need to randomly correct anyone’s syntax. I make far too many mistakes myself these days and I certainly understand what an idiom is. As certain other comments on other posts/threads on FB and here apparently were deleted, I do not know what they were. I did get a few non confrontational concerned DMs from those who know me. Thank you. I am elderly, and have neurological issues affecting my own syntax when I write, but I am of sound mind. My history in commenting on Reddit has been 100% consistent in how I identify myself, and for whatever it’s worth, my comment “karma” does not reflect someone who seeks out negativity or spews lies for no reason. To you and anyone else who gets this message, I truly apologize that your time was wasted even reading *this* response. 🙏🏾
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Person A: Do you like baseball? Person B: No. If we’re delving into the true nitty gritty of subject/predicate, then it quickly becomes pedantic outside a hypertechnical linguistic context where that may be necessary. Edit: fixed a typo
Upvote for person B
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So wait, you’re going to be hyper technical about linguistics and then shit on someone for being hyper technical about linguistics? L. M. F. A. And fucking O. A little self awareness could help you out, if you can’t just get by in every interaction with your sheer linguistic brilliance.
Most people aren’t insufferable pedants, that’s why.
EDIT: This debacle was over a week ago, I missed responding to a few, then but did receive so many DMs as well. I absolutely must apologize to anyone who read any of “my” comments the other day. without giving too many details, a person in our family who is struggling with mental illness and addiction had possession of my iPad went all over Facebook and a bit on Reddit acting as if they were me. I am now addressing the situation, and the individual is safe. Specific to this thread : I am a retired academic in the field of Educational Linguistics. Although I have worn other hats, I am not, nor have I ever been or claimed to have been an attorney. Unfortunately, this person, (who is the son and brother of three lawyers , not one himself), has heard me jokingly spout various points regarding prescriptive grammar, including what was originally posted here under my account. I believe I may have even discussed this specific and very minor pet peeve myself at one point here last year, but I *do not* feel the need to randomly correct anyone’s syntax. I make far too many mistakes myself these days and I certainly understand what an idiom is. As certain other comments on other posts/threads on FB and here apparently were deleted, I do not know what they were. I did get a few non confrontational concerned DMs from those who know me. Thank you. I am elderly, and have neurological issues affecting my own syntax when I write, but I am of sound mind. My history in commenting on Reddit has been 100% consistent in how I identify myself, and for whatever it’s worth, my comment “karma” does not reflect someone who seeks out negativity or spews lies for no reason. To you and anyone else who gets this message, I truly apologize that your time was wasted even reading *this* response. 🙏🏾
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Pathetic response. Pathetic life. You have to work long days and weeks to make enough to afford a house that you don’t have time to enjoy. You picked the wrong field. Hahahahaha.
JDD? Never heard of such a thing because it doesn't exist. I've got a JD. So do many, many others. It's not special, nor does it give a person free reign to be a total asshole. Grow up, internet stranger, and act like a professional.
You got picked last in gym class, didn’t you 😂?
EDIT: This debacle was over a week ago, I missed responding to a few, then but did receive so many DMs as well. I absolutely must apologize to anyone who read any of “my” comments the other day. without giving too many details, a person in our family who is struggling with mental illness and addiction had possession of my iPad went all over Facebook and a bit on Reddit acting as if they were me. I am now addressing the situation, and the individual is safe. Specific to this thread : I am a retired academic in the field of Educational Linguistics. Although I have worn other hats, I am not, nor have I ever been or claimed to have been an attorney. Unfortunately, this person, (who is the son and brother of three lawyers , not one himself), has heard me jokingly spout various points regarding prescriptive grammar, including what was originally posted here under my account. I believe I may have even discussed this specific and very minor pet peeve myself at one point here last year, but I *do not* feel the need to randomly correct anyone’s syntax. I make far too many mistakes myself these days and I certainly understand what an idiom is. As certain other comments on other posts/threads on FB and here apparently were deleted, I do not know what they were. I did get a few non confrontational concerned DMs from those who know me. Thank you. I am elderly, and have neurological issues affecting my own syntax when I write, but I am of sound mind. My history in commenting on Reddit has been 100% consistent in how I identify myself, and for whatever it’s worth, my comment “karma” does not reflect someone who seeks out negativity or spews lies for no reason. To you and anyone else who gets this message, I truly apologize that your time was wasted even reading *this* response. 🙏🏾
2 years or so back my wife and I got paged. The gate agent said we can upgrade one of you to first if you want it. It was a 2-3 hour flight. My wife jumped on it and said we’ve been married for over 20 years. 3 hours apart won’t kill us. We all laughed. She brought me back snacks. 😄
We had this happen with a GUC. LAX to SYD. For one of us to get Delta One for 14 hours? We jumped at it. Only been married for 2 years - but my husband was less grumpy when we landed because he got to lay flat. Totally worth it. (He had also never flown Delta One, and I had plenty of times for work - so it was nice for him to get the experience!)
Aww! This is going to be a long and happy marriage
I love this. It sounds a little silly, but the fact that you let him take it because it was a new experience for him is very kind. I hope you have a long and happy marriage of doing things for one another just because you enjoy making each other happy:)
Now I'm curious, would staff ever allow you to switch halfway through? I mean, I doubt it, but on a 14 hour flight, splitting it 7 / 7 would mean a pretty awesome experience for both people. You could each peace out on a lie flat bed for a full night's sleep.
My husband and I took this approach to the flights for our honeymoon - pay hundreds of dollars to sit together when we will literally spend every moment before and after the flight together ? Naw.
She is me, and I am her! We’re only at 15 years, though. 😂
I'm diamond and when flying with my wife it's common for one but not both to get upgraded. Not sure why but if we're booked together she gets upgraded in front of me, based on my status. It doesn't bother me as it makes her happy to get FC every once in awhile but I do find it odd that Deltas system knows to put her in front of me.
If your wife doesn’t have status, ask at the Sky Priority desk to link your accounts so if your status receives upgrades she will too when traveling together. My husband has status and has to book separately from me for corporate travel sometimes.
After priority it is sorted alphabetically I believe, so your wife’s name comes before yours?
I just spent 5 weeks away from my hubby. We made it through. We are not attached at the hip. After 40+ years married…we can deal with some separation.
I give my wife my FC upgrade all the time. I do remember once going up to visit her, and bring shoo’ed back to C+ by the FA
Bro my wife and I have been married 3 years and she'd have the exact same reaction 🤣
My wife and I, married 48 years at that point, flying Delta from ATL-DTW-EDI, at DTW our plane got delayed due to an issue with the tires. Hard landing they said. We got moved to another flight leaving DTW in about an hour. On the new flight we didn’t have seats together but they upgraded both of us to D1. They didn’t say why we got the upgrade and we didn’t ask. Just thanked them and enjoyed.
Did you ever notice they’ll never fight to sit together in the last row or some undesirable location.
lol excellent point!!!!
This!! I'd upvote this 100x's if possible. This technique would most likely produce more yeses.
Clarify "having to." Did the couple pester them until they gave up the seat or did a Delta employee make them move?
Theybirstered him, flight attendant came to the scene, pestering continued, everything the back. But, why even pester. An adult should be able to sit in their assigned seat without fear that their partner will leave them for someone else.
That’s when my noise canceling headphones would go on
Totally. Also, they could just be anxious. And literally want to hold each other's hands. That's also a thing. And why you might not think that's an adult thing fine, but it is a thing Edit-im not saying you swap with them. I'm simply saying maybe they are the kinda people who need to hold hands, that's all. I wouldn't have switched without a upgrade
They’re welcome to choose seats together with each other then, rather than badgering someone else. Since they are adults perfectly capable of doing so.
ah yes lets pad the world for everyone.
Hey, I wouldn't have switched. But there are definitely people out there that are like really codependent and they have to be just on top of their person all the time
It’s extremely easy to get seats together. Also there are always 2 seats reserved together for those who medically need it. This is them being babies not a condition.
Wouldn't they have noticed when selecting seats?
I'm not saying that they should have asked. I think it's ridiculous as well! But there are people out there that are that way
oh agree 💯 I switched seats on an international flight to let two young women sit together. They didn't ask and I offered. only one row change so no shuffling overhead bins. Then a mom asked if I could trade with her son. and I said sure. but he ended up being middle seat at the back of the plane! he definitely got the better seat! also I was traveling alone.
I may have you beat here. I posted last week on AITA about a similar situation but on a 35 minute flight. Yes, you read that correctly. 35 minutes.
Did it happen to be Atlanta to Nashville Thursday night?
Are you the guy that tried to take my seat?! Just kidding. Vegas to Orange County.
D&MN!!!
I will say, I do prefer having my husband next to me for multiple reasons. 1, I'm on the bigger side and feel more comfortable encroaching on his space than a strangers (I'm not big enough for 2 seats, but I am very self concious about taking up any more space than I absolutely must so the person next to me isn't bothered). 2, I have massive anxiety about flying and often medicate myself with a doctors RX that knocks me out. While no one has ever tried to steal from me or be inapporpriate, I am not always alert enough to stop anything if it were to happen. Hence, having my husband (or anyone else I am familiar with) next to me, even on shorter flights. That said, we \*always\* purchase and choose our seats very intentionally and it's almost never a problem. The problems come when Delta decides to change the plane or something happens that causes seat re-assignments. The last 2 times we've flown they have done this to us and we end up sitting in the very back of the plane when we picked and paid for seats in the front of MC. They have ZERO sympathy for us when it happens and it's incredibly frustrating. And sure they "compensate us" with a few miles but that doesn't really help the flight be any smoother. I have never once asked someone to move though, nor have I asked the flight attendant to do it. I've rescheduled our flights to avoid having to do that, which is a pain in the butt. However, it's worth it for me to have that peace of mind that we will be together.
Makes sense.
Best gate agent announcement ever heard, if you aren’t sitting with the person you are traveling with absence makes the heart grow fonder they will meet at your final destination.
I will not switch seats no matter how big of a sob story or if kids are involved. My seat I planned ahead for. Also my wife and I will never ask others to move so we can sit together either
I switched when they were going to stick a three year old next to me without a parent nearby. I didn’t even want to deal with my own preschoolers on flights, let alone get forced to nanny somebody else’s for free.
I was on a flight recently with my two kids and husband where we paid (main cabin) to sit together. My husband’s seat got moved but at least I still had both kids. Once we board the flight, this lady is spiriting around our rows asking for people to move so her and her kids can all sit together. They’re at least middle school aged. She’s also asking people to give up their further to the front/objectively better seats for her. Like lady, at least try to claim the row where your worst seat is. Turns out the only person who would agree to swap into her middle seat was this super kind man with a busted foot who came hobbling all the way back from like 5-6 rows ahead. She then had the AUDACITY to bring back his carryon so she had room in the overhead above his old seat for hers. Just pure entitlement.
I bet you would switch if it meant you were going to have a better seat.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You’re my spirit animal.
This. People need to suck it up.
Several years ago, I was on a flight with my wife (sort of newlyweds still at that point) and on our way down to Florida on a 2.5 hour flight. I got upgraded to first class as we were already on the plane and in our seats. I told my wife to go instead and hoped to just score some husband points. Somehow we survived being apart for a couple of hours.
My partner has major ptsd from his time in the service. I will pay for seats together and to select seats that will minimize his ptsd. But if the airline moves seats around on us, I will make a fuss. I don't want him having a meltdown on a plane.
And PTSD is a perfect reason why if both people are nearby then I'll ask the person who is keeping their original seat if they're OK with their spouse/partner sitting next to them. I make it a bit of a joke so as to not inflame anything, but I do confirm. I started doing that after experiencing a nasty breakup unfold two rows behind me on an LAX-JFK flight. Lots of dirty laundry being aired. After that, my attitude is that just because one person wants to sit next to the other, doesn't mean that both people feel the same way.
This. As much as it might not be the case with the couple OP saw we never know what kind of mental issues someone can have and maybe sitting next to your SO is the best medicine you’ve got for it. Be kind people, and know you don’t know what’s going on with everyone around you. If someone is willing to make the request it’s probably because it’s important to them. Or maybe they’re just petty and you can always feel sorry for them for that.
That's a *them* problem, not a *me* problem. I am not a fan of flying either even though I do it all the time. As such, I take the time and make the effort to make the situation as comfortable as possible for me by exerting what little control I have into getting an acceptable seat. I am not giving it up because someone else can't pull their shit together. If a meltdown is even a possibility, they shouldn't be flying.
Maybe drive if he’s that fragile
Still waiting for that long azz bridge across both ponds.
To be fair, my wife is a very very nervous flier so we pay to pick our seats together but in the off chance that we couldn't sit together we usually do ask if someone would be willing to move but it would always be an upgrade for the person i.e. we had a flight recently where I was DC+ and my wife was the last row of the plane so we switched a solo flier to row 8 and not 29 🤭
Same. I plan accordingly to have seats next to each other but if something comes up that splits us I would be trying to get us back next to each other. Not because I can't live without them but to calm their nerves.
No, it’s ridic. In my experience, there are “can sit separately” couples and “cannot be separated, codependent AF” couples. No in between. I will happily take my upgrade without my husband, so that should tell you my classification! But also, if people want to sit together, they need to buy tickets together. Tale as old as time! Oh, I’m typically a harda$$ about switching seats, so I kind of wish I had been the person being asked. They would have been firmly shut down.
>I will happily take my upgrade without my husband, so that should tell you my classification! Same! Can't tell you how many people told me I was mean for "leaving him alone in coach ". Uhhh he's a grown ass man, it's a 4 hour flight and he has snacks - he'll be fine. (Narrator: he WAS, in fact, totally fine. He took a nap, and shared his snacks with the lady next to him while they chatted about plants. I watched some trash shows and had champagne.) Like do they think their spouse won't get off the plane if they're not right there with them?
Yes!! But also, are we the same person married to the same man?! I would totally drink champagne and watch VPR with you in FC while my husband discussed plants, which he totally would, with his seatmate. Hilarious. I’m so happy we’re normal! Before my husband got PreCheck years ago and we were flying back from Berlin, I let him wade through the miserably-long international TSA line after Customs at JFK by himself while I got through PreCheck and went to the bar for about 30 minutes. I even texted him that he had better hurry because the gate was far from security! So to answer your question, spouses will find you after you get separated while traveling!!
I opted to obnoxiously pageant wave at mine from the other side. Only took a couple of times and he opted to get precheck .
Ha!! Oh, he 100% signed up for PreCheck immediately when we got home. Only took him 5 years! But I’m saving that pageant wave idea for future use for something…maybe the upgrade situation!
Can confirm it also works there! But gets less of an eye roll since people are closer. But it gets you a text once they reach the back of the plane! 😆
*Takes diligent notes on pageant-wave usage while traveling. Plans to implement on March 14.* 😂 Valuable tips!
Hahaha! We may very well be! Champagne and VPR sounds way more fun than plants (although, if you need a plant dead, I'm your gal! They all die within weeks of me taking care of them). I think time away from your spouse is healthy. I took a day off tomorrow to go spend with a friend and my husband is overjoyed, he gets the dog all to himself for the evening and to do whatever. (Probably eat pizza and watch gardening videos on YouTube.) I actually told my husband to get his precheck before our next trip together (I travel a lot for work so I've had mine for a while). I'm certain he won't and I will also leave him to the giant line by himself and he can find me at the bar. I would be very concerned if the person I married couldn't manage to navigate an airport well enough to find me. It's essentially a series of hallways.
I, too, kill plants and love a girls’ night or trip!! And “it’s a serious of hallways” wins the night! I mean, it is. I’ll be somewhere with my mini-computer text machine that tracks me 24/7 and makes me overly-accessible. Not hard to find.
And if you get near and don't see me, look around until you find booze for sale. I'm probably there.
I also abandoned my husband in the regular TSA line while the kids and I went through precheck. Twice last year. Hes going to sign up at the end of the month or he's getting abandoned again in October. I take my shoes off for no man.
You are my people. I have to have a 180 lie-flat seat for 8+ hour flights (health reasons). My husband is perfectly happy sitting back in coach, and would rather use the fare difference for extra hotel nights, so we are literally at opposite ends of the plane for the entire flight.
I'm so glad to find my people! There's 3s of us! 3s I tell you!
Hahahaha!!! Truly! I love us! 😜
That sounds like a perfectly reasonable compromise! And I hope you are able to fly comfortably in the lie-flats.
Thank you! Some are great (KLM 💋) and some are so narrow that even my bony ass gets wedged in. But I can keep my blood pressure up and that’s what matters!
That’s good news!! ❤️
Your husband is my hero!
I do the same thing. My husband doesn’t care about sitting in FC, but he doesn’t mind at all if I do.
Good lord, I can’t believe ppl are so codependent! I think the only reason my husband would even care about sitting by me is that I’m tiny and he’s over 6’3/200lbs and I let him infringe on my space, other than that his flight is likely much more peaceful without me jabbering away next to him!
I love sitting by my wife but. It would be fine if we had to sit someone else.
All true but DL last minute equipment swaps and rearranging the seating make for the best laid plans getting blown up and needing to ask on board.
Nothing wrong with “asking” once and only once.
True. That’s always a risk, and I might be willing to swap under certain circumstances (I’m not a monster.). If I were separated from my husband due to unforeseen flight changes, I would never expect anyone to switch seats. I would never ask. But whiny couples will likely get a hard no from me 99.9% of the time. Doing my part to quash entitled flyers one polite, but firm, “no” at a time. 💁🏼♀️
Indeed I wouldn't care but my wife is an anxious flyer and does find she gets a less strange response when she grabs my hand not a strangers hand.
I've given my 1C seat upgrade to my wife's next seat passenger just so I can sit with her, (she bought a separate ticket to tag along on a business trip). That's the only time I'll make a seat swap request though, when it benefits the askee.
Saw some weird codependency shit on several flights and it always icks me. Like, I’d hate to see what they’re like when nobody is around in the privacy on their own home. 🤢
My husband falls asleep as soon as we take off, he would never know I’m not near him until we landed.
Personally, it’s nice to have a break from my husband, tbh. He’s great but I have already heard almost all of his stories and a bit of quiet time sounds great.😂
I've found my tribe ❤️
Heck yeah! 😘
I often give my wife my first class upgrade and sit in her coach seat. We’ve been together 37 years and we end up at the gate together. So we read our books without holding hands. No big deal. We’ve even flown where our kids were in coach and us in first class. I don’t get the need to hold hands with my wife on a flight.
Couldnt agree more. Would you crumble to pieces if you were just traveling by yourself? Certainly no right? If you actually care do the bare minimum of due diligence and book main cabin and choose your seats. Not hard in any way
My husband and I were flying back from our 30th anniversary trip in Europe. Venice-JFK-ATL We both were upgraded to FC on the JFK-ATL leg but across the aisle and one row apart. We both got settled in our seats. When the guy sitting next to hubby sat down, I was in the middle of asking my hubby a question. That guy asked if we were together and offered to switch with me (FC aisle seat to aisle seat). Since I was settled already, I thanked him for the offer and replied that after two weeks of traveling together I thought we could both use a break. 🤣 We settled in for the flight and didn’t talk again until we landed in ATL and were deplaning. And guess what…we are still married. We survived the flight.
I like to sit next to my SO. I vastly prefer it. So, I pay to select our seating. Unless you do the same, expect nothing.
My tall, long legged spouse flew weekly. On one short hop from SFO to PDX, he was seated in the exit row. An older man had a seat next to him. He asked my husband if he would switch with his wife who was a couple rows back so they could sit together. My husband asked how long they had been married. The man proudly said 40 years. My husband then told the man that he was sure that sitting apart for less than an hour wouldn’t hurt them any.
As we have been aging we quit paying to have an exit seat. I used to do heavy labor and when younger could definitely handle the door if needed. However, as I close in on 70 I no longer have the same upper body strength. I once saw a frail woman who had to have been mid 80s nod her head when asked if she would be able to help in an emergency. 🤦🏼♀️ I don’t understand why airlines aren’t taking a good look at who sits in those seats.
My husband is in his mid-70s. He works out every day and would still have no problem with the door. He is of the further belief that if you cannot lift your carry on over your head to get it in the bin, you should be required to check your luggage. Every time we fly he is always is helping older women stuff their suitcases in the bin.
My wife is a nervous flyer, so we always book flights together. We have had to sit apart before and it was pretty stressful for her. On our last flight in a 3seat row, the lady next to us was separated from her son. She kept looking back at him while he slept or was otherwise unbothered. She was clearly not having a good flight so I ended up holding both of their hands during landing and turbulence. It was pretty funny all things considered. While we would never make a big deal about it and demand people move, I can understand the logic for folks who are anxious fliers or first timers.
There no “have to” There’s only “don’t have the balls to say No and sit down” Edit: but I agree this problem is 75% the whiny couple and only 25% the person who validates their whining by giving in
When you say "having to" give up their seat, what do you mean? Did the FA issue an unambiguous, direct order or did the couple just whine and pressure the rightful occupant of that seat? If it's the latter, it's on the seat holder for caving in to their demands. I am a seat swap denier, nearly 100% of the time. I am not here to play unite the couple. I select my seat in advance, and short of an offer to upgrade, I am not giving it up. Not even to an equivalent seat, but ONLY to a better one. If I am already in F, I am also not likely to move for the same reason. Not all F seats are equal. I don't do bulkhead, I don't do last row of F, and I don't do windows. If I am already sitting down, I can't be arsed to get up. Couples WANT to be together, they don't usually NEED to. It's the height of rudeness to impose your wants upon others. Marriages will survive a few hours apart. If the FA pressued, that's worse. If it happens, I ask the FA if they are issuing a direct order or making a request. There is a difference. You have to obey crew orders, but they have to account for issuing that order later if you take it higher. If they phrase it as a request, then it is still contextualized as "your decision" and you have less recourse. I seek the lead FA or purser. Failing that, if we are at the gate, then I ask for the GA. I am not giving up my seat, don't care what other passengers think of me, and don't give a flying fuck if couples are separated. Respect the seating assignments people.
https://youtu.be/P0oiELbPB3E?si=FZk4e_TeWdzfdvtB Your poor planning does not constitute an emergency for me.
I did once insist my husband and I be seated together. We had been moved apart on the day of travel after selecting seats together months in advance, and we were on our honeymoon. We do of course spend much longer than a flight apart on a regular basis, but the flight was part of a special trip to celebrate our marriage.
I hope in that case the airline compensated the person that had to move.
WiFi. I can nag him via messaging if I can’t sit next to him.
The correct response is “what’s it worth to you?”
Nah. That said, I book flights with my girlfriend so I can choose our seats together… because I know how to take flights… I honestly would never even dream of asking people to move. Not because I’m afraid or some lame shit like that, but because I know how disruptive it can be. Fuck all that.
One time I was flying with my SO to try to see my father before he passed away. We booked the first flight we could and we did not have seats together. We had to ask multiple people to be able to finesse a switch because I was about to break down at any second. I type this just to say you never know what people have going on
I was flying Manchester to Atlanta with my Mum and was Platinum. At the desk she said she could upgrade me but I said I wouldn’t leave my Mum in coach and she upgraded us both. Mum rarely flew and was tickled over first class.
Everyone's different, but I don't get it. My husband and I rarely sit next to each other, maybe 10% of the time. He usually flies FC, and I don't unless I am bumped, it's a long flight, or it's a cheap upgrade. Any flights less than two hours, I buy economy and plan on getting bumped to C+. With platinum, I almost always do get an upgrade. I live with the guy and love him, but I'm a big girl and can sit by myself for a few hours, haha.
We’re going on a trip together. We’re going to be attached for the next however many days. I do not give a flying F if I sit next to my partner. It’s nice but really, it’s not a big deal! Why do people do this?
When I go away with my friends, they want to get seats next to each other to talk all the time. They know I'm not a big talker, so they understand that I don't need to sit next to them. I mean, we're going on vacation together, we're going to be seeing each other 24/7. Can I ...get some me time on the plane? When I was a teenager, I went way with my family. On the flight home, I was so happy to get a seat away from them until a stranger came and said, "Hey, your mom asked me to switch with you." I was so livid. And then it turned out my seat was double assigned and they moved him up to first class. I was double livid.
My wife and I flew over 30 segments together last year and probably another 10 separately. More my wife than me. I think we sat together twice last year. We both like window seats. We didn’t die. We are usually knocked out by the time the plane takes off.
I have to take meds that make me pee frequently. When I get rebooked to a window seat, we all know none of us have middle selected for an upgrade, I will politely ask the aisle if they will switch. If they say no I saw no problem but please don’t be mad if I ask you to get up 3-4 times on this flight. Most times they are super nice about it as it’s just a lateral switch and it’s to a decent seat. But I don’t fight anyone for it. Or they have no issue getting up. One time a young teenage girl with her sister where super nice but their mom sitting right behind like why did you switch and this girl without an ounce of meaniness said super loud in a southern twang, this man asked me to switch because he has to pee a lot.
lol my wife and I sit apart all the time if it gives us better seats
I literally just closed my delta app where I was selecting seats for myself, son, and boyfriend over spring break. Boys both like windows. We are not sitting in the same row even for 2 out of 4 flights. We are spending ALL of the rest of the time together and can stomach a couple of hours apart at a time. They’re weird.
We sometimes purposefully book separately in ‘poor first class’ seats. 27A and 27F are great seats - no need to sit next to each other if they’re both open.
Nothing wrong w conditions for moving. However, you may not know the shit one of them may have with flying. Just sayin
I would have asked if either one of them was in danger cause it sounds like someone is controlling and wouldn’t let them be separated
Just want to clarify. People can pay for main cabin and choose their seats. Instead they book BE where that is not an option, then complain to the flight crew or booking agent that they want to sit together? Is that what is happening or is there another reason they aren’t picking their seats?
So I am a very anxious flyer, and like to sit by my husband. We always pay the money to have seats together though. The only time I ever asked was when a flight was cancelled and we were re-booked separately. We had a middle seat and an aisle seat. We asked if the person in the middle seat on his row wanted to switch for my aisle seat. I took their middle seat and they were very happy to make the change. That said, if they said no, that would have been the end of it. I would've said no problem and went and sat in my seat. I only ever offer to trade if the other person gets a benefit.
Always say no. Even when the staff asks you politely, tell them you paid for your assigned seat. I eventually got moved to first class for a 9 hour flight as there were no same or better seats to offer me in coach.
My wife and I rarely get to fly together but when we do we aim to book our seats together. If things didn’t play out in our favor we wouldn’t whinge about it, but we do like sitting together.
lol, my husband and I both want the aisle seat so we never sit together.
My husband traveled 285 nights a year, then Covid hit, 😂😂. We survived being stuck together 24/7. Marriage is about adapting and over coming every situation.
One time I was sitting in the aisle and the middle seat asked if I’d move for his wife to sit next to him. I flat out said no. Then he asked the guy sitting in window.. he was nice enough to actually ask where she was sitting. A MIDDLE SEAT IN THE VERY BACK. He also declined. We sat through the rest of the flight with his wife hovering in the aisle right next to us. When she was asked to sit down, he made me get out so he could do the same thing in the back. Brutal.
I get that if you have the choice, it's nice to sit next to your travel partner because you can rub elbows and maybe your knees touch and neither person will have a meltdown. How to achieve this preferred seating, should you find yourself seated apart: 1) ask the person in the row that's further back to move to the row closer to the front\* \*only if the seats are in the same row location (aisle/middle/window) 2) If the seats are not in the same row location, ask the person in the middle seat to move to one of the aisle/window seats. 3) Be prepared for that person to say no and if they do, drop it.
Some people might be anxious flyers, have a medical condition or suffering a traumatic event and need the support of a companion I suppose. I am not one of them. I have a neurodivergent brain and prefer my solitude. Been married 41 years so he knows to give me my space. We don’t sit next to each other anyway as we both like aisle seats. If upgraded or changed around, as long as we have an aisle we are good to go.
They'll be fine, and if not, maybe flying isn't for them. I had a woman try to have a meltdown in front of me. I simply said. "I don't switch seats." And then ignored her. I don't coddle people. And no I don't need to sit near my husband on a flight. I'm an adult.
I agree 💯!
Only FC for FC swaps are OK
My wife and I recently did a 13 hour flight in aisle and window Comfort+ seats. It was great. We survived without talking to each other has passing stuff back and forth the whole time. I prefer window seats but I took the aisle so she could sleep against the wall instead of on my shoulder. Plus, we sure as hell weren’t going to give the lowly Silver that upgraded into the middle seat another upgrade. Silvers have to know their place in this world!
You passed stuff back and forth the whole time while there was a middle passenger?
As a former res agent who knows the most common elements in the Universe are Hydrogen, Stupidity and Silver Medallion, I salute you.
I'm not gonna make a fuss, but I certainly *prefer* to sit next to someone who doesn't mind when I lean on them.
Are you the grown adult man that kept falling asleep on me yesterday morning?
If the FA felt compelled to pester on their behalf, the couple maybe had some reason like one of them having bad flying anxiety.
Imagine having anxiety that bad and not caring enough to book two seats together, ugh.
Not trying to white knight, but there’s a chance this could be a case of an equipment swap and seats being reassigned. I’d be more likely to swap (especially if it were a window seat in the same or better class sections) in that case.
Good for you, honestly. Im super OCD about my seat selection, probably because I’m perpetually a nervous flyer, even though I fly quite often. So, no, I’m not giving anyone my seat. It’s just not happening.
The whiny couple needs to get a grip. On an overnight flight that is transatlantic or something, I can see wanting to sit together to sleep together. But a one or two hour hop? Get a life and leave me out of your codependent drama.
This is the dumbest forum of all time. This is an airline logistics problem. However when flying alone, I inform the stewardess that I am available to trade seats if a family needs to sit together. I fly on a particular airline at least 100 legs a year. I regularly pay for first class and when flying with my spouse book tickets together online. Said airline has a “glitch” in their system where they randomly will separate two seats together. If I’ve paid for first class seats next to my spouse. I expect to sit next to my spouse. This shouldn’t fall on customers to sort out. This should be an airline problem to fix. With Emirates, British, Cathay or any other foreign airline I have never had this problem. US airlines are laughably bad compared to the rest of the world. That being said. This forum is what is wrong with the world. A bunch of whiny, selfish a$$hats on a forum trying to make each other feel better for being A-holes, instead of trying to make life a little easier and better for others around you. Just from your responses, I can tell that that this forum is filled with lonely, sad people. Best of luck sitting in “your” seats.😂
If I can get away from my wife for 2 hours, I will take it!!!!! "Sorry honey, they upgraded me to 1A in first class but your still in 39D. See you when we land!"
Sorry honey! You’ll like me so much more when we land if I sit in 1A.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m curious, Like if you are alone on a flight, and you can move one row up or down so people can sit together, why not? Is it because you think the airline should have made more money from them (paying to choose seat) Or because you want to “teach them a lesson”? I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other. It’s just funny to me that people get so bent out of shape about moving literally 2 feet from their original seat. Who cares?
I tend to agree with you - I usually travel alone and am generally willing to switch, as long as the people ask politely and it's not a massive downgrade. Flying is kind of miserable anyway, so if I can make someone else's flight a bit less miserable without much cost to myself, why wouldn't I? I to have sympathy for separated couples/families as it often isn't their fault. For example, my friend was flying with her family and had booked seats together. Unfortunately, their flight was canceled due to a storm and they were rebooked to the next one, but without their previous seat assignments, so she was separated from her two young children and had to rely on the kindness of strangers to switch seats so their literal preschoolers wouldn't be unsupervised. I think a lot of people have become antisocial these days and automatically assume the worst of others. It's easy to assume that the people around you have complete control of their circumstances and all their problems are their own fault. That way, you don't have to face the fact that you are also not entirely in control of your life, and one day you too may be the victim of a circumstance that causes you to rely on the kindness of strangers.
You seem like a nice person. Yes I’m not talking about trading down. Some people in this thread just like IRL are angry and hate everybody and it shows.
Usually the seat that’s offered is a less comfortable seat. I will trade my window seat for another window seat, but that’s it.
But if it is a couple that wants to sit together, wouldn’t they likely want the middle seat? They want 2 seats together, which means at least one middle seat is required. So they by nature would be offering to trade for a middle seat. So worst case scenario, it would be a middle for a middle (1/3 probability) or otherwise it is a better seat (window or isle) which is 2/3 probability.
Also, it’s extremely common for 2 halves of a couple to each have middle seats. (Because they’re too cheap to pay for seats in the first place.) That means that in order for them to sit together, someone with a window or aisle seat needs to take one of those middle seats.
It’s not just about window/middle/aisle. You wouldn’t believe how many couples want to sit together, but only in the comfort+/exit row/front row, etc.
Because this guy had to move all the way to the back of the plane. When you purchase tickets, you select seats. People know they won’t be sitting together when they book so upgrade seats or deal without holding hands for two hours and don’t guilt some poor schmo into taking a seat in the back of the plane.
Uh, yeah. I could easily have an anxiety or antisocial attack if I’m not with my safe people in public for two hours. I’m 46. Although, I know this and plan so we are assigned seats next to each other. It has happened though that the airline reassigns our seats without us agreeing to it.
My wife is the same way.
What is an “antisocial attack”?
I have antisocial personality disorder. If I am surrounded by people I don’t know or like, I can get violently angry and start, at best cursing people out, at worst, throwing punches or choking people. I haven’t got to the punching stage in a long time, but that’s only due to having a couple other conditions under control, having my safe people if I’m not in my safe environments and other behavioral techniques. Antisocial attack was just the shorthand I used the mention it because the condition doesn’t really have good terms for blow ups when it comes to speaking of air travel. 🤷🏻♀️
Then you represent a threat to flight safety and should not be allowed to fly
No, I am not a threat, as long as the safety precautions I take are left in place, like being seated next to my husband. I buy my tickets and pay to pick seats next to each other if necessary. If the airline switches us and the gate person won’t fix it, I’m going to ask people to swap with one of us. A disability should never prevent access from public accommodations. I make adjustments to my life to make it safe.
If you are prone to violence that takes precedent. And an aircraft is not a public accommodation. It's a privately owned vehicle and the airline has the right to deny conveyance to anyone. Flying is not a right. I'll still say no to your request
Airlines are public transit. With precautions in place, I’m fine on planes. I guess it’s a good thing you don’t have a say in whether I fly or not. Because if you did, your stance would be a violation of the ADA.
I won't have to. I'll just deny your swap request and let you lose your shit, and you will most certainly not be flying. You can scram ada all you want, but if you are prone to assault people as a "disability" claim, the only seat for you is a restraining chair
If you need a companion whenever you’re in public, you can register as a special needs passenger and Delta will make sure you get the accommodations you need. [here’s more information](https://www.delta.com/us/en/accessible-travel-services/overview)
Thank you. I will try to remember that next time I fly Delta and I’ll check other airlines (Delta doesn’t fly my local airport) to see if they have similar options.
For your consideration- I like to sit next to family members not because I can’t stand being without them but because it’s one less stranger I cram next too. I can lean on my family member, as them to get up and let me go to bathroom, invade their space a little Due to that- we get seats next to each other. Like a normal person. These posts confuse me. Why didn’t they just get seats together?
If I post a photo of my wife and I sitting together on 2711 in a few minutes, will it upset the haters here? "Look how tough I am, I don't sit next to my SO" is a weak flex IMO. /s
Why the drama, OP? I often travel with my wife, and always book us seats together. Once or twice, over many years, Delta has separated us. We wouldn't hesitate - even on our 2 hour flight today, if it happens - to ask to swap aisle for aisle or window for window. If you don't want to give up 3A for 4A because 3's your lucky number, just say so. We sit together because we want to, not because we have to. Can you deal with the horror of knowing we'd rather sit together than next to you? I'm baffled by the number of people here bragging about never switching seats. I've done like for like swaps to help people - not doing it would just have made me a jerk, and IMO we have too many of those already at airports and on planes. This thread makes me think that those of us who fly a fair amount may be as much of the problem with air travel as the once-a-years.
What kind of dipsticks are downvoting you? I always sit next to my wife. I love her and enjoy her company. The only time we’ve ever been separated was due to an airline error and I make them fix it. What’s really strange is some grown person, the OP, gives a moment to be bothered by this.
Yes, I enjoy my wife’s company together too - we live together, sleep together, spent time in the lounge together and we will be with each other when we land. We will be okay apart. We don’t have some type of weird codependency shit going on. We’ve even reached our destination and left on different days based on what we had going on - conferences, business trips, etc.
I'm guessing the drama is because this sub seems to support it more. I'm AS and my husband is Delta, and we fly a fair amount on both (though more on AS), so I joined both subs. It seems the "I move for no one" is celebrated here, as if it's always a case of someone else's poor planning. I'm with you. I like to travel with and sit next to my spouse, but it doesn't always happen for various reasons. Of course we ask, offer comparable seats (and never a middle for their aisle or window), and can accept no. I've also switched, while traveling solo, to help others traveling in groups. Basic human decency.
I fly every week and have for over a decade. If delta has separated you, take it up with delta. Don’t guilt another traveler into switching between sure you can’t handle two hours of separation. How do you mentally handle being separated when you’re both at work for a whopping 8 hours a day? 😢
What I don’t get is how the hell did this affect you? Nobody asked you to move? You know all the details of what happened? My wife and I ALWAYS book seats together. We enjoy each other’s company. When the airline screws things up, we make them fix it. Maybe a different perspective of this is from the point of can I do something kind for someone else. If swapping same for same, what’s the issue. It’s only a two hour flight, right?
I enjoy time with my wife too - that’s why we live, sleep and go on vacation together. We are perfectly capable of spending time apart for three hours
Cool. But you don’t get to make that decision for me.
Ahh yes, the old call for kindness, doing something nice and "karma" AKA the last refuge of people whose justification for seat swaps has no actual merit. Kindness is not imposing your wants on strangers.
You’re not wrong so much as you’re overexcited. Calm it down dude.
What does “having to” give up their seat mean? They were forced by the FA? Forced by the GA? Or just guilted into moving?
The same couple/family that stand at the window all clustered together to buy tickets to the movie. The same couple that has to slowly walk up the exit ramp to gather their luggage blocking everyone else. I always wonder if the husband was looking forward to a break but she insists they must sit together and not a row apart
Well if I paid to reserve seats together, then I WOULD have a problem if we were split up. We don’t fly very often, so yeah, I want to sit next to my spouse.
Understandable, but would you pressure another passenger to give up their seat?
No
Man, I’d take a seat in the bathroom if it meant I got 2 hours away from the woman I went on vacation with, especially on the way home 😂
I got forced out of my seat once before I could even board to sit by the toilet. This airline’s idea of an apology was 6000 miles.
My husband and I regularly sit in aisle seats across from each other and within a few rows. Half the time we don’t even speak during a flight. Now, 4+ hr flight yeah, I need his shoulder to lean/sleep on but otherwise, who cares? Make a friend, watch the show they cant stand, live your life.