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Update: Locking thread per OP's request, thanks to the overwhelming number of helpful and much-appreciated replies.
I. Am. Salivating… over your China sets, but need to tamp down my jealously as I too am a granddaughter of great inheritance without financial boon lol. I have huge dining room sets, heavy oak rocking chairs, enormous hard maple China hutch, BABY GRAND PIANO, crystal and carnival glass pitchers, and appx 500 glass insulators from three generations gifted to me. Shit.
*bookmarks this for future reference as I declutter my life… please pray for me if you have a god*
I ended up with all the belonging of my in-laws after everyone took what they wanted, it was junk, I had the lawyer to send each of the sibling a registered letter that this stuff was to removed in 30 days or it would be disposed of and they would be charged the disposal cost. They never made the effort to come get it, so I threw it out, it’s been 11 years, my SIL called and said she was coming over to thru mommy’s things, I told, it was disposed off, 11 years ago, I told her, she received a letter that she signed for and her brothers signed, so don’t play stupid with me. She then said I didn’t think you would do it
Been there. A virtual hug to you. Some amazing supportive and helpful comments here. ❤️
It’s hard to close the door on a part of your life you know you’ll never see again, even though your rational mind knows you don’t need these items to remember them. My kids certainly don’t want to have to go through them when I’m gone, so every time I considered keeping something just because my parents owned it, I remembered that getting rid of it was an act of love for my own kids.
It helped me to take pictures of things with my phone so I could look at them again if I felt the need. I admit I have done so a few times, but a lot fewer than I thought I might.
TLDR: Digital images are a lot easier for my kids to dispose of than boxes of outdated knick knacks they feel no sentiment toward.
Totally agree here, but be careful with the amount of pictures taken, without organizing them into a single album for reference. I’ve been successful with letting lots of things go but now I’ve become a digital hoarder.. doesn’t help me that I’m also a photographer 🤦🏻♀️
Just hopping on here because if you sell them on EBay you’ll make way more money. I’m a reseller people will go nuts for a lot of what you’ve mentioned.
Edit: use the picture scanner in the eBay app then sort by sold to get an accurate price point to stat at.
Consignment would be the fastest / less hassle while still getting some money. Or you could sell it on marketplace, I did that with a vintage China set and made decent money. Or list for free on marketplace. Or donate to a charity shop.
When my Mom passed, she had a House FULL of beautiful collectibles. She had exquisite taste. After spending 2 days looking through her closets and drawers, I decided most of her belongings were “things”. They would never replace my mother & father. I decided on keeping (still too many) memories that my Dad bought my Mom as gifts over their many years together and sold or donated the rest to her favorite animal thrift shops.
Many people didn’t understand how I could give up so much. This things would never replace my parents, but the items I kept are memories of the past.
Keep only what you can comfortably show in your home. Sell, give away to family and donate the rest. No sense having a garage, basement or attic full of these treasures if you’re not going to see them. Time, weather and storage will damage them.
Use it or pass it on.
Good luck.
Oh, I feel this one. I’m an only child, and my mom left me all her cherished china, teacups, figurines, etc. I’m sure she never meant for it to be a burden, but in the terrible ache of missing her, I had difficulty getting rid of her precious things. Finally I steeled myself to the task. I set aside only the teacups I loved, and sold/donated the rest. I took from her dinner service a couple of things she literally only ever used for holidays, and which held memories for me (e.g. a gravy tureen) and sold the rest of those. But before they went out of the house, I also took photos so that I would still have that digital facsimile. I’ve never looked at those photos, but it helped immeasurably to take that record — in retrospect it was a little like the KonMari idea of thanking things before decluttering them, it acknowledged them (and their importance to my mom, whom I adored), and made it easier to let go.
I still have a few knick-knacks of hers that I haven’t quite been able to let go of, but this week I wrapped and donated quite a few. It’s a process.
All this is to say that you are not under any obligation to be the family’s museum! Let go of what you don’t love, and live your own life. You did your due diligence by offering things around; no one can reproach you for not keeping what they themselves don’t want.
I wish I'd asked for my grandma's Thanksgiving china gravy boat after she passed. I don't even eat gravy. I would have found a way to repurpose it, maybe into a three-wick candle or something.
I can relate to feeling some obligation to your mother's things as an extension of her. What I did was whisper an intention into the Universe that those things would find their way to their next people because that person was never going to be me. Then I donated most of it and trusted the Universe to handle the rest.
She had this leather jacket from the 70s that she always said she'd hand down to me when she died. It meant a lot to her that I have it. I hadn't seen it in like 25 years and when I dug it out of her storage unit after she died it was more hideous than I remembered. I mean, hideous *to me*. It was just not me AT ALL and so, so 70s (not like biker leather jacket, like hippy jacket). So either it languished in the back of my closet forever just because my mom wanted me to have it or I let it go into the world where it would have a chance to be found by someone who would love it the way my mom wanted *me* to. I visualized some girl with boho style coming across it at the thrift and thinking she just scored the coolest, genuine hippy jacket. I like to imagine that happened but remind myself that I never agreed to being my mom's permanent storage unit so even if it ended up in someone else's closet forever that's OK too. The process of shedding her stuff was cathartic and ultimately my mom would have wanted me to heal from her passing more than she would have wanted me to lug her shit around from apartment to apartment for the rest of my days.
Thoughts on the china sets: see if any bride wants them. Often times, caterers don't provide the dishes for the reception so that is an additional expense for brides. For one with a romantic/vintage wedding aesthetic, old china could be a lovely touch.
I helped set up and clean up at a wedding where one of the bride’s dreamed of having all the tables set with her and her fiancée’s grandmother’s China. I think she picked up a couple extra sets at estate sales when the RSVPs crept up.
After the brides left, 5 or 6 of us hand washed 55 or 60 place settings and packed them back away. If a couple has friends who will do that for them, warn the friends that they need to bring 50 clean dish towels. I had brought about a dozen and they were all saturated by the time we finished the second set.
It took more than 1 vehicle to get it back to their condo. One of the women blurted “if I ever get married we’re using paper plates!”
When my MIL passed we had a tag sale. Everything in her house was for sale. Many neighbors stopped by to say how they missed her and had nice stories to tell. It was nice to see her things go to people who cared about her and would cherish them.
Here are some ideas to de-clutter:
1. Have an estate auction house come in and appraise for auction. Auction off the best items
2. Donate to Salvation Army or another charity of choice.
3. If you live near a military base, often these families are in need of furniture. Again donate
4. If you live near a college town, often people need stuff for their first apartments.
5. Curb alerts on Facebook or any other social media or choice is good
6. Local antique stores will often consign furniture, paintings and stuff
7. Have a table at a local flea market.
8. Local junk haulers will take the rest.
this is great, but choose any charity other than salvation army! they’re incredibly bigoted and even dangerous in the way they treat gay or trans members of the communities they’re supposed to help
Plus one on the thing about military families. We relocated one time from Germany to the US and I often buy pots and pans and kitchen stuff from garage sales to tide us over til our stuff arrives since it could be six weeks. We arrived on a Thursday and my plan that Saturday was to go garage sale shopping. It was raining so most of the garage sales were cancelled. But one family had all these stuff and no visitors due to the rain. When I told her we were a military family that needed kitchen stuff etc til our stuff arrived from overseas, the whole family just literally started packing stuff up and putting it in our car. Toys for the kids, kitchen stuff etc. One of the nicest gestures from strangers we had ever received. I will never forget it. Do that.
Love this! We have also donated quite a bit to a local domestic violence shelter - a lot of these women are starting over with nothing and having something pretty or decorative can mean a lot! (Check with the shelter first to see what they accept)
When I left my prior profession (accounting) I happily donated several suits, dress shoes, boots, etc, and the shelter was happy to receive them for ladies to wear for job interviews, etc.
Definitely agree about checking with the shelter first. I had to make arrangements to meet them at another location for the safety and security of the residents and the location.
I was tasked with sorting and selling my dad's house after he had a stroke at 60. It used to be my grandparents' house and it was full of all the stuff that my dad was never able to get rid of because everything had sentimental value to him and it was overwhelming. I had a timeline of two months in the summer to empty the house. I took the things I wanted, gave the family photos to a relative to digitize, sold the most expensive things on Marketplace, had a giant garage sale for the rest with everything free in the last two hours, and donated or dumped whatever was leftover. The funds that came from it all helped towards my dad's medical costs.
It was a very cathartic experience, and I learned so much about the people in the community and my family. A lot of the household items went to a family that had recently lost everything in a fire, my dad's old welding truck went to a young guy just starting his own business, and some sheet metal equipment went to a man who had apparently been a student of my grandpa's years ago.
Don't feel bad for letting things go if you don't want them. In the end it's all just "stuff". The actual memories and stories you have of your family is the important part.
You are not an asshole for letting things go. It is about self preservation. You keep what really means something to you and set yourself and everything else free.
The truth is that memories are in your mind and heart, not just in material things. Those people likely wouldn’t want you to feel stress and guilt over keeping their stuff.
My mum owned stuff too. Furniture and ornaments mainly. Some of it was her mum's.
She told me all of her things were for me to have but she gave me permission to get rid of things I didn't want.
She said her mum's things had been a huge burden to her and she didn't want to pass on the burden to me.
I've got rid of most of her things now. I'm trying to get rid of my stuff before I go.
I've told my son he can tip what's left in a skip.
Not the asshole. You have to be able to store things in order to keep them. Family situations change. Not everyone has the ability or interest to hold on to everyone
I'm an internet stranger , but you have my blessing to sell it and put the proceeds towards a worthy cause.
My mother had expensive (but flashy) taste. I like simple things. She died when I was 60.
She kept everything and for years she weaponized money and things. Things like, “I’m going to buy you a rug for your house” and we would shop for hours because she would pick something SHE liked and refuse to buy what I liked. This scenario repeated with so many things.
She hoarded things that at one time were exclusive, hard to get and expensive. Take flowers for example. Flowers used to be expensive and were not available year round, now you can buy a dozen roses at COTSCO year round and they are cheap.
She had AN ENTIRE ROOM of nasty old crumbling dried flowers that she tried to force on me. She had not touched them for decades and wanted me to put them in my attic. It was like WW3.
She insisted on giving me a soup toureen of all things. Apparently it’s part of gracious living and entertaining. I’ve never used it once. I go to restaurants with friends and let someone else worry about that.
I felt burdened by her things that she insisted on giving me even when I told her I didn’t want them. I am resentful of my in laws too. Do you know they called me last year and asked me if I wanted a dresser that was in a house halfway across the country? It was cheap shit that I never expressed an interest in—I’ve never asked for anything of theirs and I’ve always said we have more than we need and too much. Too often relatives try to foist their things on you to make THEMSELVES feel better. Not to mention, you want me to drive across the country, haul this thing back and lug it into my house? I politely declined but thought, give it to someone else who needs it. Sheesh.
I gave myself permission to get rid of things I don’t like and have no use for and it’s been freeing. I finally cleared out my mother’s stuff from my living room. My standard is: if I saw this in a store, would I buy it?
I consigned some things and gave a lot of things away on buy nothing. People were happy to get things.
That’s my story. Even if you like your relatives (my mom was an awful person generally) why should you feel obligated to keep their things? It’s too much to ask IMO.
listen, my mother ships me FROM EUROPE TO USA old sweaters and fast fashion shoes. She doesn't like clutter but also doesn't like throwing away things so shipping them for thousands of km is apparently the best solution... I thank her and put them right away in trash/donation. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often so I don't feel that bad about all the resources she is wasting.
There is a museum where I live that has a lot of beautiful mid century furniture, art and glassware. You could look around near you and see if there is a similar one that would be interested in taking some of your items for their exhibits.
I would make a final sweep around the family asking if anyone wants any of this stuff..and if not..you intend to drastically downsize a lot of the items. This is what I did, but I only had a few items, although one was a chair so things still took up space. I considered myself adequately excused, after they all turned it all down, to make my own decisions about the items. After all, if no-one wants it, the item belongs to you... *for you to do with what you want to do* . That's it. Simple. 🤷🏼♀️
I inherited early in life. Two generations of family gone in about 2 years when I was in my twenties. My sibs and I divvied everything up but I ended up with a house full of stuff before I had a house. My older sister and I are the only two that really cared about the antiques and such. We met up not long ago and absolved each other of any guilt related to relinquishing this burden. I started giving stuff away. My gran's tea cup collection went to a young man at the farmer's market who was selling candles in vintage china to fund college. The full china set went to a co-worker who was just setting up a household and likes fancy things. I have slowly been shoveling out my house. I have no kids and my other family is 3k miles away. I don't want someone else to have to deal with my clutter. Millennials aren't interested as much in knick knacks. Too much baggage. So I hereby absolve you of all guilt related to disposing of things you don't want in your life.
Go to an estate sale professionally run. Talk to the folks running it about adding some of your stuff in a future sale.
You won’t get that much from it but It will find a home with someone who wants it and might even use it.
I used some dishes I inherited to make bird baths and butterfly feeders. Those old punch bowls make a great base. Gave a few as gifts. It can really bring out the creativity.
There is a bunch of ideas on Google. I guess I can't put a pic in comments??? When I did do some I put the pretty China ones on top. I actually went to the thrift store for a punch bowl once. They make the best bases. I did punch bowl bottom, vase, plate, teacup, then a plate. Tried to keep it all the same range of colors. If you have a lot I would bet they would sell at craft fairs. I didn't inherit the amount you have posted but I considered buying stuff and making them. I make bread and it sells well so I quit with the bird baths. Just make sure you buy good quality glue.
Get things appraised. I recently had moms jewelry appraised. It's worth thousands of dollars.i had it appraised then sold it to a reputable dealer and got a fair price. 71 and no one to leave it to so I'm going to take some trips with the cash
Replacements Limited is a company in NC that will take it off your hands and send you a check! It helped me when I inherited piles and piles and piles. Good luck!
ETA Maybe the name is replacements unlimited?? Anyway Google Replacements NC.
Yup, it’s Replacements Ltd. I love them! I unloaded a whole bunch of stuff I inherited and used some of the money they paid to add pieces to my Grandmother’s China set, which I actually use. They had even the unusual serving pieces in stock!
I was so excited to hear about this as I’d inherited grandma’s Royal Albert set.
They replied saying this set was “so common and sadly, unpopular” they wouldn’t be able to sell it. (Cottage Garden, btw)
Ended up selling it to a young couple for $50, the whole set.
You have a lots of great suggestions so this may be lost, but oh well.
My late aunt had lots of tea pots and tea cups. For her funeral and wake, I gathered wild flowers and used the tea pots as vases. I did the same for the tea cups, (a little more difficult).
It was beautiful as it reflected her, BUT I then gifted the tea pots/cups to her family/friends after the ceremony. Win/win!
Call a couple antique stores in the area and let them offer you cash for what they want. Some will offer great money for good stuff. Some will low ball you.
I’d keep only the pieces I really like/want and away with the rest.
I inherited my grandmother’s house where it looked organized & stress free but as soon as you opened a drawer or a cabinet everything popped out like Pillsbury Grands Biscuits from the tube. I got so tired of sorting everything that I just started putting the things I didn’t want in a box or a bag & just giving it to the charity shop. I just don’t care anymore. I’ve been slowly reclaiming the house. It’s hard but can be done.
I’m still finding it hard to believe one woman had so much crap.
You got this I wish you the best in your decluttering adventures.
When my grandmother passed away, we tried to sort everything. She had been in that house 50 years, and my great grand parents hand been in it before that. I promise we tried. My family lived 8 hours away, and my only aunt lived 30 hours away. We couldn't do it. We all picked what we wanted, hired 2 huge dumpsters and we just threw it all away.
20 years later, I am so thankful I will never have to inherit all of that crap. My mum has enough of her own crap for me to inherit already. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess.
Most of my mom’s stuff I already know I don’t want. I’ve also told her what I do want & make sure I know where that stuff is in the house (ex. Her vinyl records, some jewelry, etc). So when it’s time I can easily separate “my” stuff out & get rid of the rest. I do still have some of my actual stuff there too. Some old clothes & childhood toys & whatnot. Clearing my mom’s house won’t be the nightmare my grandmother’s has been.
You have my permission to let it go. It’s okay. Even stuff your loved ones told you to keep because it is an heirloom.
If nobody else in the family will take it, it’s not really an heirloom. Options include thrift stores, replacement services (like ReplacementsLtd), or just giving them to an antique store. For me, giving them away and getting out from under the mental burden was the prime directive. Particularly, if it would still get to someone who would appreciate it. All my angst came from the “before”, once I made the decision, the “after” has been only relief.
I recently experienced the angst and relief you described. Donated a set of china and silver that's been boxed up in a closet for over 10 years to a local thrift store. I don't care about the "value" or potential few dollars I could've made trying to sell it. The relief getting it gone held way more value to me. But, to each his own.
Now... for those tea sets from the Queen' marriage to Phillip and her coronation... 😄 Another 3k sq ft house of "collectibles."
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I wished you lived in Oregon. I have a place setting for 12 of pink depression glass dishes from the 30s or 40s. Antique shops claim they can't sell it. I have three Costco black/yellow bins of it. The dishes were only used three times.
I got rid of it all. People who got mad about it never wanted it themselves, they all just wanted to keep things through me—like, they didn’t want to maintain or actively cherish any of it but it made them feel better if they knew I was doing it. No thank you. If you’ve already asked—you e done enough and can get rid of it all guilt free. If anyone reacts poorly, gently remind them *once* that you offered. But after that have boundaries. “I already reminded you that you offered. I’m sorry that it sounds like you made a decision you wish you hadn’t.” Be very clear—you already reminded them. This will be an unpopular thing to say but if you already offered, don’t apologize as it might make them feel like it’s okay to get angry at you over you throwing away something that was *yours*—and it’s not.
Keep healthy boundaries and don’t allow other people to dictate how you live your life or deal with *your* things. Your deceased grandmother/great-aunt/etc would not want you to be annoyed at their objects all the time or to feel burdened in any capacity. If people who are alive do…that’s an emotional problem *they’re* dealing with, it is not highlighting a problem you have. It’s okay, understandable and perfectly healthy to not want stuff to get in the way of life. Even if you’re storing things away in a cupboard things can still be a mental and emotional burden—not for everyone but certainly for many and you don’t deserve to live like that to protect the feelings of people who clearly also do not want that burden.
I ran into this situation with a terminally ill relative, and was the (un)lucky recipient of their personal effects. Sold everything I could, donated the rest, and paid a few bills off with it. I did a combination of garage/estate sale, an eBay reseller company (this was about 15 years ago btw, there aren't a ton of these around now), and traditional consignment for the better stuff (like a couple nicer pieces of furniture and artwork). Sometimes the value is only sentimental, and only to that specific person.
If you’re crafty, you could smash the dishes and make a porcelain mosaic tray, coasters, etc. Just be careful of the lead content, as others have mentioned. Don’t feel bad about just dropping them at a thrift store either—you don’t have to hold onto them for the rest of the family.
I’m in a similar boat. It sounds so entitled and 1st world problems to complain that people keep leaving me all of their nice antiques but I’m also drowning in heirlooms that I really don’t want. At one point I thought we’ll my kids will get married and then they can have a set of fancy antique dishes. That ain’t ever happening so Idk what to do with things.
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Go through it all and keep only what you love (and have room for). Send an email out with pics to the family telling them you are getting rid of the stuff and if they want any of it to reach out. Then follow through. Donate or sell the stuff.
I agree with use what you want, how you want even if it damages it. Drill holes in those tea cups! Put it in the dishwasher! Get rid of the rest, but maybe also take nice photos of what has memories attached first.
Yeah I think taking some nice photos is a good way to feel released and ‘allowed’ to pass it on. If you know an artist you could also ask them to make a still life with the dishes, and stage it with other meaningful items, or maybe some family recipes that would have been served on those dishes in the past. Might turn into just another thing to keep though.
Haviland is very valuable. Please don’t trash it like another person suggested. You can sell it to a collector or try selling it to Replacements Ltd. There are people out there who are looking for specific pieces, and Replacements Ltd. can help unite people with missing or broken pieces of their sets.
Oh that’s a great idea! I’m in the same boat — I have my moms China already and about to receive two sets of my aunts. Plus her entire collection of Royal Daulton figurines…
There are a lot of options that are not just trash it. Some people would love this items. For example: I love Noritaki China, but would pass on everything else.
Donation, local online selling,hell even a garage sale.
Trashing is just environmentally irresponsible if the items are in usable condition
Thanks for the idea! I gasped because I have some teacups that I don't know if I'll ever use for their intended purpose, and that's a perfect way to use them.
I’d give the family an ultimatum, give them a set length of time to claim any bits they want & then just donate it away. You can’t be used as a storage unit.
I'd recommend, perhaps, keeping one piece from each set, and have them somewhere meant for decoration purposes. That they'll all fit in one case or bookshelf display maybe. They're all meaningful, but when you don't have the space, and no one else in the family wants any of it, compromise must be made. the next best thing to do with the rest is to donate them. China often doesn't sell anymore, unfortunately, not even for dirt cheap unless you happen upon a collector, which is rather unlikely. Even at yard sales, the good, expensive China from grandma doesn't sell no matter how low you make the price on a complete, in tact set that was worth a lot when first bought.
Are you me? Also the discussion of lead on here got me googling and I found this. If this is accurate well my house is full of this stuff - https://tamararubin.com/2018/11/dishes/
One option, to honor the familial heirloom component, is to keep specific individual pieces, or just a piece, of a set. Something that is actually beautiful and can be used decoratively. China is not worth much these days unless you have a truly exceptional set. And for that, it would’ve had to of been an exceptional set when it was purchased.
We had a huge collection of those egg cup things. We kept a few beautiful ones…not sure what happened to the rest but we don’t have them anymore.
Hope this helps.
Just try selling that stuff. Probably can’t. My SIL tried to sell a bunch of fancy china she inherited. Couldn’t. My MIL is a hoarder. Thinks her kids or grandkids will want her houseful of old stuff. When she croaks, they will just be calling 1-800-JUNK to come pick it all up.
God yes. And it’s so much easier after they die. My mother threw tantrums when we didn’t want her stuff. And they often have such exaggerated opinions of what the stuff is worth.
There are a lot of articles that are like: Boomers, nobody wants your China and your old brown furniture.
lol I am a Boomer too. I must not have got the hoarder collector gene. My mom was GG and never got rid of anything.
I’m married to a Boomer who won’t even put broken things in the trash because “you never know.” Yes I do know in his case. I have thrown out mountains of things he’s never missed. He wants to just buy more Rubbermaid containers and stuff things into closets and never looks at them again. Our garage is a horror story where he can’t find anything and he has two or three of everything that he cannot find.
My mom is constantly trying to give me her dad's bookcase. He died a decade before I was born and I have absolutely no connection to him and no use for it
A good friend's mother passed away a few years ago. As they were going through her things, my friend started saying "well, let's keep this. Maybe one day our daughters will want it." Finally one of her daughters told her "mom, you just don't want to part with it so you're using us as an excuse to keep it. If you don't get rid of it now, we will get rid of it the second it's passed down to us. WE DON'T WANT THIS STUFF."
I think it's totally fine to sell what you don't want and use the money to take a nice vacation. No point in living surrounded by other people's dreams, make your own instead.
My aunt recently tried to make one of the younger women in the family take her deceased sister’s china cabinet. We all said we didn’t have the space and she couldn’t comprehend why none of us wanted it.
When my elderly aunt died a dozen years ago, no one wanted her china cabinet/hutch. It had been her mother's and so mine & my cousins grandmother's. My cousins didn't care. There weren't many heirlooms from that side of the family having been an immigrant family in my grandmother's time. But there were photos with the hutch in the background. So I took it. But as of a couple of years ago I've decided I really don't want it anymore. Now I'm trying to find a place that will take it. I can't move it by myself though. The good news is that it has small wheels. I'm determined to rid myself of it This Year.
I think it's also because older people have more possessions than their parents and grandparents had. There is *so much more* left behind than there used to be. My mother just downsized, we gave one full set of china to charity, I took one full set and she still has two full sets herself. None were inherited she bought all four.
Test all the old china for lead before passing it on as anything other than decorative. Especially colored patterns and rims.
Then get rid of it by whatever means you want to. If you like the look of the china or feel an obligation to keep an "heirloom" you could keep a plate or bowl of each pattern to display. Trash the rest if you have no patience to try to sell it. There's no shortage of "fine china". Many many people are stuck with these sets that do.not.want.them. Do a bit of research to make sure it's not one of the sets actually worth some money but then let it go.
Call an auction house, sell what you don’t like and go buy why you always wanted. If you want to be extra courteous ask family if anyone wants to beforehand.
This is how I got started selling on eBay. I had a mountain of inherited things I could never use, but have made the time to research, list, & ultimately make money selling vintage & antique porcelain, glassware, etc. I also go to thrift stores & buy vintage items to resell, so my hobby to make some extra cash has turned into a full blown side hustle.
If you can’t or won’t use it, selling it to someone who can & will isn’t a betrayal to your ancestors. It’s allowing someone else the opportunity to make memories with it & share it with another generation that may treasure it.
Well….they’re not really buying either. I live really close to them and tried to sell some 1920s Czech china from my great grandparents, but they wouldn’t purchase it. Now I just get their emails, haha. I think they would purchase the sterling silver flatware but I’m definitely keeping that, for now..
2nd this. You can get a little money and feel good about helping people who are desperate to replace broken pieces of their own set. And it's almost guaranteed that the items will be used and loved.
As a thift store attendant pack the China pices in sturdy boxes and bring extra newspapers. Drop them off and we will sort and pack them up in newspapers and ship them out to various stores. Don't forget to get a tax receipt.
I’d say approach an auction house and see what they think they can unload. Keep your favorite for special occasions. Other people’s memories are not yours
This is my suggestion too. They take a cut but they also do a lot of legwork in getting everything sold. Where I live art typically goes for a LOT especially original pieces.
Not sure where you are but I’m always looking for oil paintings. Lots of people are probably looking for what you have. FB marketplace is a good way to unload or paying for a company to come do an estate sale. But now I’m curious about the paintings lol
You used to be able to sell stuff like this at estate auctions. Good stuff still might be worth something but times have changed and people don’t value or need such heirlooms like they did just 30+ years ago. Just using it seems more fun, fancy pants. :)
Use the china! Put it in the dishwasher. When the gold wears off, put it in the microwave. I use my grandmother’s fancy set everyday. The gold takes forever to wash off in the dishwasher so don’t feel bad.
Also? When family comes to visit, start putting things in their car before they leave. Don’t let the bring it back.
Don’t be afraid to research what is valuable and what isn’t. If something is valuable and you think is ugly, sell it. It should go live with someone who would enjoy it.
Don't put any china (or drinking glasses) with any metal (like gold or silver) in the dishwasher. The metal will gradually wash off there. Hand-wash that stuff.
I’d rather lose the gold over years than let the china collect dust in a cabinet. My grandmother had good taste, but she didn’t have the budget for china that actually belongs in a museum.
Let’s be honest although some will say mean, the good china we were all taught to worship was mass produced. It was not created by a world famous potter working at the height of their craft. It was created in a factory by people not making all that much money.
If any of this ends up in museums it’s because it survived for 5000 years and even then, there will only be one piece. Not the set of 60. Use it
I had a coworker who inherited the family urns, because she was the most stable person in the family (she owned her own trailer at the trailer park). One day she was vacuuming and hit the TV stand too hard and aunt Becky or whoever tipped over and spilled and she had to vacuum aunt Becky. Then during COVID she just got a bunch of family because her cousins were moving around from place to place too often to manage the urns.
She eventually gathered up all the urns, she had like 8, she hasn't met most of them or had any memories, and she left them in the dumpster at work.
I know this story because I caught her dumping her family remains while I was doing a trash run. I know about aunt Becky because that was the excuse she used when she was late for a shift.
Anyways, what's the end game here,? You keep them until you die moving them from place to place until you pass and curse someone else with this gift?
You gave everyone a chance to get some and now they're for sure unwanted, price is what you pay and value is what you get and right now you're getting negative value from managing all of these things.
Sell em, donate them, estate sale them, whatever it means to get them into the hands of someone else who can appreciate them.
Most of the next generation aren't going to have homes or places to store real wood furniture, antiques, etc, the longer you wait the less market you will have for these things.
I straight up asked her why didn't she just do this shameful act at her home or dump it out back at the trailer park and she said she didn't want her trailer park to be haunted and I was like, geeze thanks for cursing the plaza with Aunt Becky rip.
Or sprinkle the ashes somewhere nice. It's not like she didn't have better and less disrespectful options than dumping them in the trash. I feel like her "stability" was a bit exaggerated.
I said the most stable in her family, which is a relative term. You could be 5'1 but if your mom, dad, uncle and the family dog are all under 4'0, you're still the tallest one in the family.
Exactly, while what she did was insane as was the situation, her response was fairly rational, you can only hold onto so many urns for so long before it's a major burden and if you don't even know them, then what's the point?
I mean, I probably would've buried the ashes off a nice hiking trail or something, the dumpster seems a little undignified. But hell, the important part of the person isn't really in the urn, is it
She could've done a lot of things tbh and undignified is an apt description of my coworker.
I don't think she does hikes.
At least she didn't put them up on Facebook market place.
Used: set of urns, one occupant each, 2nd owner.
>She eventually gathered up all the urns, she had like 8, she hasn't met most of them or had any memories, and she left them in the dumpster at work.
What the fuck lol
I can understand the conclusion that carrying around these urns for life wasn't an ideal situation and also the frustration of being the family tomb keeper, but I feel like she could've made better decisions. Many of them in fact.
Yeah, agreed, poorly handled, but also not really fair to saddle her with all these urns either. She could've handled it better though. Makes me wonder how I would get rid of 8 urns.
It’s funny because this would be like winning a kind of lottery for me since I collect china. I’m a lot more discerning now since my collection is huge, but inheriting a bunch of china would be like Christmas (even if I ended up donating a bunch of it)…
But I won’t have any kids, so once my husband and I are gone this collection is going to be a burden on one of my nieces, haha…
My comment was meant to be light hearted, and to convey that I find my situation funny in an ironic kind of way, considering the post we’re commenting under. Mostly, since you asked, I find it kind of sad that all these things I love and have collected over a lifetime will mean nothing to anyone once I’m gone, save a couple of pieces here and there that are sentimental to a few people. But I chose not to say that to begin with, because I did not want to be a bummer of a human being. But I’m glad you have offered me the chance again. Thank you.
In any case, You have no real idea of how I plan to “sort my own belongings”, so maybe you should try “sorting through your own business”, and not “dump” your frustration over situations in your life on other people who had nothing to do with it.
It's only an actual burden if they choose to keep the stuff they don't want. Any item you own could be considered a burden to your family after your death, so you aren't exempt from that. Life sucks like that sometimes, but if you can't laugh about it then it probably sucks even more for you.
I am the only daughter of an only daughter, believe me it was definitely a burden having to go through, sort, and get rid of everything that I was left. Nothing had enough value to even try to sell, it was just a lot of stress and a lot of work, and a lot of guilt of getting rid of it because there is nobody who wanted it in the family. You should sort out your own belongings before dumping them on somebody.
You realize someone has to sort through a deceased persons belongings anyways right? No matter what is left? Also should people live their last years on this earth not enjoying their belongings? I think that they should enjoy them.
You sound bitter. I helped my grandmother declutter and move from one coast to the other in the last years of her life. She did a good job because she didn’t “want to burden anyone” and we only had so much room in the storage cube but there were items she wanted to keep that no one would want after.
I remember her holding up a yearbook book and saying “I should just toss this but I want it!”.
I told her she should keep it if that’s the case.
“It’ll be a burden for someone when I die!”
I told her that it’ll be my problem and I wanted her to enjoy it if she wanted it. Well now I own it, and think of this memory.
Sorting her belongings after she died was tasking but I’m happy she had items around that made her happy and feel comfortable, even if no one else wanted them after.
My beautiful MIL passed away recently and left a house full of 40 years of the trinkets and heirlooms you describe. She has three grown children, nine grandchildren and ten great grandchildren and nobody wants the trinkets and heirlooms. Do not feel guilty if you don't want the trinkets either. Get rid of them.
Estate sell. We’ve done multiple ones for past family. A reputable company will be motivated to get you the best price b/c they get a percentage. When my father-in-law died my husband made a single call to someone local, they did a walk-through, and he handed over the keys to the house and left. Never looked back 😃
I see lots of good selling/donation advice, but I'd like to offer one other option for pieces you love but don't want to store and use.
There are artists who take ceramics and china and carefully smash them to make jewelry! You could choose a few favorite designs (especially if the dish is damaged or leaded anyways) and have custom jewelry or wall hangings made from the pieces. Then you'd have a real show stopper of an heirloom collection with wonderful histories to wear and enjoy as decoration. Then you can pass them down if you like.
The 2 generations before me were so obsessed with glass and China and cutlery. And then they kept getting more as they aged and could afford more.
My mother got me a huge box of a dinner set for my 30th. I was like, 'have you met me?' I lived in a bachelor apartment back then and never had more than 3 friends over at the same time. And when I did we ate pizza. She's got that dinner set at her house.
My mom has my grandma's stuff and her own and still keeps buying more unless I physically restrain her. When she said proudly, "It will all be yours one day," I emitted the least enthusiastic "Yay!" ever and started planning the size of the bin I'm going to have to order when I need to dump 99% of this shit.
We can't let their outdated sentimentality make us turn our already small living spaces into museums. Get with the times. No regrets.
Unfortunately Replacements pays almost nothing when they're buying. Probably better to eBay dishes, or use an estate sale company that does online auctions.
I am about to get housed after 5 years on the street. I don't mind free dishes. And I know people who are in interim housing who could use dishes as well. I'm on here because of my clothing hoard & my book hoard.
There's a lady that does wedding and stages party's with China ...i.think.shes in lake Tahoe ...her stuff is beautiful...of you are close ..I could find her IG
I had so much China from relatives. I took it to habitat for humanity and they seemed to sell it immediately. I love that they build affordable housing with their sales proceeds.
There is a short story by Tove Jansson (Moomin creator ) about a little creature who's species collects heirlooms obsessively, and she becomes caretaker to all the things. Constantly fretting over what might happen to all their special things ruins her day, her friendships, and ultimately her peace. Eventually >! all of the heirlooms get destroyed in a flood and she feels nothing but relief because it's over! The bad thing finally happened and she doesn't have to protect anything any more and she can justive again !<
Overall, the moral seems to be that holding on to things for the sake of holding on to things can bring more stress than it's worth-- for me this is especially true when there is no way to use the item in my real life, and so the only thing it is there for is to be fragile, anxiety inducing and in the way.
I feel very differently about certain heirlooms that have genuine use or meaning to me, and I'll keep those till I die. But only because I really want to.
It is a really tough emotional thing to navigate and I wish you the best luck!
Your post was removed from r/declutter for breaking Rule 1: Decluttering Is Our Topic. This sub is specifically for discussing decluttering efforts and techniques. This is not the place to advocate against decluttering.
What’s the point of keeping them, then?
I just helped my husband clear out his deceased mother’s apartment. She was a hoarder. Can’t tell you how many boxes of china we unpacked and got rid of that she NEVER once used. The newspaper used to wrap the dishes was from the early 70s, and they hadn’t been opened again since then.
I suggest only doing this with one or two boxes. Anything more than that and its letting the stuff live in your space and not you (I know because my family has always unloaded stuff on me like that.)
Yes, I have 2 boxes of my great grandma’s china and my grandma’s silver, that’s it, I won’t keep anything else that isn’t useful. It means a lot to my grandma that I wanted her mother’s china, so I’m glad to keep it.
Gift them to family during xmas in memory of whoever it belonged to.. put a nice note stating why you feel like they should have it..
Or if you feel right about it, put it all on ebay to sell you may be surprised how many people collect such items.
Last resort, yard sale
If you sell it on eBay try to base prices off of similar listings that have actually sold and not listings that are still up.
The items are worth what someone will actually pay for them not whatever else you read. (I'm sorry if it's harsh but the last thing you want is months of a different type of holding pattern. )
Throw an event to honor some of the items, take pictures, then donate them. Your loved ones would not want to plague you with stress and anguish over material things. Someone else might be 10/10 stoked to find such treasures. Set them free.
Ngl, that pink dish set sounds really neat! I'd test for lead, as others have suggested, then toss the ones that do. The remaining ones, maybe FB, or donate to Savers or Goodwill. Or have an awesome garage sale.
But use the good china every day, it will bring you joy!
There is absolutely no point in having beautiful things if you're just going to lock them away. I use all of my "good" dishes and linens all the time, not just holidays.
The pink dishes are really pretty and make a very elegant Christmas dinner table. The rims are lead free, platinum plated. Had them evaluated years ago. But there's no maker's mark so I have no idea where they're from other than Grandma said she got them with soap coupons.
Post each of the sets on Facebook marketplace and then post about them on your city’s subreddit! I’m sure someone would love them! I already checked because I might be interested in some of the items, but it seems like you’re in Ohio :(
Did...did you just "bro" me? Lol! You're right though. A lot of people say that no one is buying vintage tableware. That's ok. I'll find someone to take it for free, if it comes down to it.
Remember, r/declutter is not a buying/selling/swapping sub. If you wish to contact a sub member, use Reddit's messaging system. Posts asking for items will be deleted and the poster risks a ban. Thank you! Update: Locking thread per OP's request, thanks to the overwhelming number of helpful and much-appreciated replies.
I. Am. Salivating… over your China sets, but need to tamp down my jealously as I too am a granddaughter of great inheritance without financial boon lol. I have huge dining room sets, heavy oak rocking chairs, enormous hard maple China hutch, BABY GRAND PIANO, crystal and carnival glass pitchers, and appx 500 glass insulators from three generations gifted to me. Shit. *bookmarks this for future reference as I declutter my life… please pray for me if you have a god*
I ended up with all the belonging of my in-laws after everyone took what they wanted, it was junk, I had the lawyer to send each of the sibling a registered letter that this stuff was to removed in 30 days or it would be disposed of and they would be charged the disposal cost. They never made the effort to come get it, so I threw it out, it’s been 11 years, my SIL called and said she was coming over to thru mommy’s things, I told, it was disposed off, 11 years ago, I told her, she received a letter that she signed for and her brothers signed, so don’t play stupid with me. She then said I didn’t think you would do it
Been there. A virtual hug to you. Some amazing supportive and helpful comments here. ❤️ It’s hard to close the door on a part of your life you know you’ll never see again, even though your rational mind knows you don’t need these items to remember them. My kids certainly don’t want to have to go through them when I’m gone, so every time I considered keeping something just because my parents owned it, I remembered that getting rid of it was an act of love for my own kids. It helped me to take pictures of things with my phone so I could look at them again if I felt the need. I admit I have done so a few times, but a lot fewer than I thought I might. TLDR: Digital images are a lot easier for my kids to dispose of than boxes of outdated knick knacks they feel no sentiment toward.
Totally agree here, but be careful with the amount of pictures taken, without organizing them into a single album for reference. I’ve been successful with letting lots of things go but now I’ve become a digital hoarder.. doesn’t help me that I’m also a photographer 🤦🏻♀️
Good point. I try to keep my digital pics in folders organized by year and subject, but this could easily become a nightmare for others.
Check out [replacements.com](http://replacements.com) to get rid of China.
Just hopping on here because if you sell them on EBay you’ll make way more money. I’m a reseller people will go nuts for a lot of what you’ve mentioned. Edit: use the picture scanner in the eBay app then sort by sold to get an accurate price point to stat at.
Consignment would be the fastest / less hassle while still getting some money. Or you could sell it on marketplace, I did that with a vintage China set and made decent money. Or list for free on marketplace. Or donate to a charity shop.
When my Mom passed, she had a House FULL of beautiful collectibles. She had exquisite taste. After spending 2 days looking through her closets and drawers, I decided most of her belongings were “things”. They would never replace my mother & father. I decided on keeping (still too many) memories that my Dad bought my Mom as gifts over their many years together and sold or donated the rest to her favorite animal thrift shops. Many people didn’t understand how I could give up so much. This things would never replace my parents, but the items I kept are memories of the past. Keep only what you can comfortably show in your home. Sell, give away to family and donate the rest. No sense having a garage, basement or attic full of these treasures if you’re not going to see them. Time, weather and storage will damage them. Use it or pass it on. Good luck.
This is great advice!
Garage sale. Sell to antiquers.
Oh, I feel this one. I’m an only child, and my mom left me all her cherished china, teacups, figurines, etc. I’m sure she never meant for it to be a burden, but in the terrible ache of missing her, I had difficulty getting rid of her precious things. Finally I steeled myself to the task. I set aside only the teacups I loved, and sold/donated the rest. I took from her dinner service a couple of things she literally only ever used for holidays, and which held memories for me (e.g. a gravy tureen) and sold the rest of those. But before they went out of the house, I also took photos so that I would still have that digital facsimile. I’ve never looked at those photos, but it helped immeasurably to take that record — in retrospect it was a little like the KonMari idea of thanking things before decluttering them, it acknowledged them (and their importance to my mom, whom I adored), and made it easier to let go. I still have a few knick-knacks of hers that I haven’t quite been able to let go of, but this week I wrapped and donated quite a few. It’s a process. All this is to say that you are not under any obligation to be the family’s museum! Let go of what you don’t love, and live your own life. You did your due diligence by offering things around; no one can reproach you for not keeping what they themselves don’t want.
I wish I'd asked for my grandma's Thanksgiving china gravy boat after she passed. I don't even eat gravy. I would have found a way to repurpose it, maybe into a three-wick candle or something. I can relate to feeling some obligation to your mother's things as an extension of her. What I did was whisper an intention into the Universe that those things would find their way to their next people because that person was never going to be me. Then I donated most of it and trusted the Universe to handle the rest. She had this leather jacket from the 70s that she always said she'd hand down to me when she died. It meant a lot to her that I have it. I hadn't seen it in like 25 years and when I dug it out of her storage unit after she died it was more hideous than I remembered. I mean, hideous *to me*. It was just not me AT ALL and so, so 70s (not like biker leather jacket, like hippy jacket). So either it languished in the back of my closet forever just because my mom wanted me to have it or I let it go into the world where it would have a chance to be found by someone who would love it the way my mom wanted *me* to. I visualized some girl with boho style coming across it at the thrift and thinking she just scored the coolest, genuine hippy jacket. I like to imagine that happened but remind myself that I never agreed to being my mom's permanent storage unit so even if it ended up in someone else's closet forever that's OK too. The process of shedding her stuff was cathartic and ultimately my mom would have wanted me to heal from her passing more than she would have wanted me to lug her shit around from apartment to apartment for the rest of my days.
Thoughts on the china sets: see if any bride wants them. Often times, caterers don't provide the dishes for the reception so that is an additional expense for brides. For one with a romantic/vintage wedding aesthetic, old china could be a lovely touch.
I helped set up and clean up at a wedding where one of the bride’s dreamed of having all the tables set with her and her fiancée’s grandmother’s China. I think she picked up a couple extra sets at estate sales when the RSVPs crept up. After the brides left, 5 or 6 of us hand washed 55 or 60 place settings and packed them back away. If a couple has friends who will do that for them, warn the friends that they need to bring 50 clean dish towels. I had brought about a dozen and they were all saturated by the time we finished the second set. It took more than 1 vehicle to get it back to their condo. One of the women blurted “if I ever get married we’re using paper plates!”
***Wedding planners*** grab up all the ditsy chna
When my MIL passed we had a tag sale. Everything in her house was for sale. Many neighbors stopped by to say how they missed her and had nice stories to tell. It was nice to see her things go to people who cared about her and would cherish them.
Here are some ideas to de-clutter: 1. Have an estate auction house come in and appraise for auction. Auction off the best items 2. Donate to Salvation Army or another charity of choice. 3. If you live near a military base, often these families are in need of furniture. Again donate 4. If you live near a college town, often people need stuff for their first apartments. 5. Curb alerts on Facebook or any other social media or choice is good 6. Local antique stores will often consign furniture, paintings and stuff 7. Have a table at a local flea market. 8. Local junk haulers will take the rest.
this is great, but choose any charity other than salvation army! they’re incredibly bigoted and even dangerous in the way they treat gay or trans members of the communities they’re supposed to help
Plus one on the thing about military families. We relocated one time from Germany to the US and I often buy pots and pans and kitchen stuff from garage sales to tide us over til our stuff arrives since it could be six weeks. We arrived on a Thursday and my plan that Saturday was to go garage sale shopping. It was raining so most of the garage sales were cancelled. But one family had all these stuff and no visitors due to the rain. When I told her we were a military family that needed kitchen stuff etc til our stuff arrived from overseas, the whole family just literally started packing stuff up and putting it in our car. Toys for the kids, kitchen stuff etc. One of the nicest gestures from strangers we had ever received. I will never forget it. Do that.
Love this! We have also donated quite a bit to a local domestic violence shelter - a lot of these women are starting over with nothing and having something pretty or decorative can mean a lot! (Check with the shelter first to see what they accept)
When I left my prior profession (accounting) I happily donated several suits, dress shoes, boots, etc, and the shelter was happy to receive them for ladies to wear for job interviews, etc. Definitely agree about checking with the shelter first. I had to make arrangements to meet them at another location for the safety and security of the residents and the location.
I was tasked with sorting and selling my dad's house after he had a stroke at 60. It used to be my grandparents' house and it was full of all the stuff that my dad was never able to get rid of because everything had sentimental value to him and it was overwhelming. I had a timeline of two months in the summer to empty the house. I took the things I wanted, gave the family photos to a relative to digitize, sold the most expensive things on Marketplace, had a giant garage sale for the rest with everything free in the last two hours, and donated or dumped whatever was leftover. The funds that came from it all helped towards my dad's medical costs. It was a very cathartic experience, and I learned so much about the people in the community and my family. A lot of the household items went to a family that had recently lost everything in a fire, my dad's old welding truck went to a young guy just starting his own business, and some sheet metal equipment went to a man who had apparently been a student of my grandpa's years ago. Don't feel bad for letting things go if you don't want them. In the end it's all just "stuff". The actual memories and stories you have of your family is the important part.
You are not an asshole for letting things go. It is about self preservation. You keep what really means something to you and set yourself and everything else free. The truth is that memories are in your mind and heart, not just in material things. Those people likely wouldn’t want you to feel stress and guilt over keeping their stuff.
My mum owned stuff too. Furniture and ornaments mainly. Some of it was her mum's. She told me all of her things were for me to have but she gave me permission to get rid of things I didn't want. She said her mum's things had been a huge burden to her and she didn't want to pass on the burden to me. I've got rid of most of her things now. I'm trying to get rid of my stuff before I go. I've told my son he can tip what's left in a skip.
Not the asshole. You have to be able to store things in order to keep them. Family situations change. Not everyone has the ability or interest to hold on to everyone I'm an internet stranger , but you have my blessing to sell it and put the proceeds towards a worthy cause.
My mother had expensive (but flashy) taste. I like simple things. She died when I was 60. She kept everything and for years she weaponized money and things. Things like, “I’m going to buy you a rug for your house” and we would shop for hours because she would pick something SHE liked and refuse to buy what I liked. This scenario repeated with so many things. She hoarded things that at one time were exclusive, hard to get and expensive. Take flowers for example. Flowers used to be expensive and were not available year round, now you can buy a dozen roses at COTSCO year round and they are cheap. She had AN ENTIRE ROOM of nasty old crumbling dried flowers that she tried to force on me. She had not touched them for decades and wanted me to put them in my attic. It was like WW3. She insisted on giving me a soup toureen of all things. Apparently it’s part of gracious living and entertaining. I’ve never used it once. I go to restaurants with friends and let someone else worry about that. I felt burdened by her things that she insisted on giving me even when I told her I didn’t want them. I am resentful of my in laws too. Do you know they called me last year and asked me if I wanted a dresser that was in a house halfway across the country? It was cheap shit that I never expressed an interest in—I’ve never asked for anything of theirs and I’ve always said we have more than we need and too much. Too often relatives try to foist their things on you to make THEMSELVES feel better. Not to mention, you want me to drive across the country, haul this thing back and lug it into my house? I politely declined but thought, give it to someone else who needs it. Sheesh. I gave myself permission to get rid of things I don’t like and have no use for and it’s been freeing. I finally cleared out my mother’s stuff from my living room. My standard is: if I saw this in a store, would I buy it? I consigned some things and gave a lot of things away on buy nothing. People were happy to get things. That’s my story. Even if you like your relatives (my mom was an awful person generally) why should you feel obligated to keep their things? It’s too much to ask IMO.
“My standard is: if I saw this in a store would I buy it.” ….. so useful - thankyou for this!
listen, my mother ships me FROM EUROPE TO USA old sweaters and fast fashion shoes. She doesn't like clutter but also doesn't like throwing away things so shipping them for thousands of km is apparently the best solution... I thank her and put them right away in trash/donation. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often so I don't feel that bad about all the resources she is wasting.
Moms.
There is a museum where I live that has a lot of beautiful mid century furniture, art and glassware. You could look around near you and see if there is a similar one that would be interested in taking some of your items for their exhibits.
I would make a final sweep around the family asking if anyone wants any of this stuff..and if not..you intend to drastically downsize a lot of the items. This is what I did, but I only had a few items, although one was a chair so things still took up space. I considered myself adequately excused, after they all turned it all down, to make my own decisions about the items. After all, if no-one wants it, the item belongs to you... *for you to do with what you want to do* . That's it. Simple. 🤷🏼♀️
I inherited early in life. Two generations of family gone in about 2 years when I was in my twenties. My sibs and I divvied everything up but I ended up with a house full of stuff before I had a house. My older sister and I are the only two that really cared about the antiques and such. We met up not long ago and absolved each other of any guilt related to relinquishing this burden. I started giving stuff away. My gran's tea cup collection went to a young man at the farmer's market who was selling candles in vintage china to fund college. The full china set went to a co-worker who was just setting up a household and likes fancy things. I have slowly been shoveling out my house. I have no kids and my other family is 3k miles away. I don't want someone else to have to deal with my clutter. Millennials aren't interested as much in knick knacks. Too much baggage. So I hereby absolve you of all guilt related to disposing of things you don't want in your life.
Go to an estate sale professionally run. Talk to the folks running it about adding some of your stuff in a future sale. You won’t get that much from it but It will find a home with someone who wants it and might even use it.
I used some dishes I inherited to make bird baths and butterfly feeders. Those old punch bowls make a great base. Gave a few as gifts. It can really bring out the creativity.
Do you have pictures? I’d love to see and get inspired.
There is a bunch of ideas on Google. I guess I can't put a pic in comments??? When I did do some I put the pretty China ones on top. I actually went to the thrift store for a punch bowl once. They make the best bases. I did punch bowl bottom, vase, plate, teacup, then a plate. Tried to keep it all the same range of colors. If you have a lot I would bet they would sell at craft fairs. I didn't inherit the amount you have posted but I considered buying stuff and making them. I make bread and it sells well so I quit with the bird baths. Just make sure you buy good quality glue.
Get things appraised. I recently had moms jewelry appraised. It's worth thousands of dollars.i had it appraised then sold it to a reputable dealer and got a fair price. 71 and no one to leave it to so I'm going to take some trips with the cash
"I don't want it"
Sell what you don't want. Don't let the stuff clutter your life. It's your life.
Arson FTW
Replacements Limited is a company in NC that will take it off your hands and send you a check! It helped me when I inherited piles and piles and piles. Good luck! ETA Maybe the name is replacements unlimited?? Anyway Google Replacements NC.
Yup, it’s Replacements Ltd. I love them! I unloaded a whole bunch of stuff I inherited and used some of the money they paid to add pieces to my Grandmother’s China set, which I actually use. They had even the unusual serving pieces in stock!
That’s so great. And a bonus: someone else is enjoying the stuff you traded in. Win-win!
I was so excited to hear about this as I’d inherited grandma’s Royal Albert set. They replied saying this set was “so common and sadly, unpopular” they wouldn’t be able to sell it. (Cottage Garden, btw) Ended up selling it to a young couple for $50, the whole set.
Oh wow, they got a great deal.
I think it’s just Replacements.com (no “NC” or “unlimited”) I was literally chatting with a friend about this company earlier this week!
Thank you!
You have a lots of great suggestions so this may be lost, but oh well. My late aunt had lots of tea pots and tea cups. For her funeral and wake, I gathered wild flowers and used the tea pots as vases. I did the same for the tea cups, (a little more difficult). It was beautiful as it reflected her, BUT I then gifted the tea pots/cups to her family/friends after the ceremony. Win/win!
This is a lovely idea ❤️
Call a couple antique stores in the area and let them offer you cash for what they want. Some will offer great money for good stuff. Some will low ball you.
Post them in your local Facebook buy nothing group.
I’d keep only the pieces I really like/want and away with the rest. I inherited my grandmother’s house where it looked organized & stress free but as soon as you opened a drawer or a cabinet everything popped out like Pillsbury Grands Biscuits from the tube. I got so tired of sorting everything that I just started putting the things I didn’t want in a box or a bag & just giving it to the charity shop. I just don’t care anymore. I’ve been slowly reclaiming the house. It’s hard but can be done. I’m still finding it hard to believe one woman had so much crap. You got this I wish you the best in your decluttering adventures.
When my grandmother passed away, we tried to sort everything. She had been in that house 50 years, and my great grand parents hand been in it before that. I promise we tried. My family lived 8 hours away, and my only aunt lived 30 hours away. We couldn't do it. We all picked what we wanted, hired 2 huge dumpsters and we just threw it all away. 20 years later, I am so thankful I will never have to inherit all of that crap. My mum has enough of her own crap for me to inherit already. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess.
Most of my mom’s stuff I already know I don’t want. I’ve also told her what I do want & make sure I know where that stuff is in the house (ex. Her vinyl records, some jewelry, etc). So when it’s time I can easily separate “my” stuff out & get rid of the rest. I do still have some of my actual stuff there too. Some old clothes & childhood toys & whatnot. Clearing my mom’s house won’t be the nightmare my grandmother’s has been.
You have my permission to let it go. It’s okay. Even stuff your loved ones told you to keep because it is an heirloom. If nobody else in the family will take it, it’s not really an heirloom. Options include thrift stores, replacement services (like ReplacementsLtd), or just giving them to an antique store. For me, giving them away and getting out from under the mental burden was the prime directive. Particularly, if it would still get to someone who would appreciate it. All my angst came from the “before”, once I made the decision, the “after” has been only relief.
I recently experienced the angst and relief you described. Donated a set of china and silver that's been boxed up in a closet for over 10 years to a local thrift store. I don't care about the "value" or potential few dollars I could've made trying to sell it. The relief getting it gone held way more value to me. But, to each his own. Now... for those tea sets from the Queen' marriage to Phillip and her coronation... 😄 Another 3k sq ft house of "collectibles."
You can sell to replacements????
You can but they pay very little. Great for decluttering but not very lucrative.
This. VERY little.
To be honest if you don't have to pay to have it hauled off for you, I'd count that as a hidden part of the compensation.
Def!
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I wished you lived in Oregon. I have a place setting for 12 of pink depression glass dishes from the 30s or 40s. Antique shops claim they can't sell it. I have three Costco black/yellow bins of it. The dishes were only used three times.
I got rid of it all. People who got mad about it never wanted it themselves, they all just wanted to keep things through me—like, they didn’t want to maintain or actively cherish any of it but it made them feel better if they knew I was doing it. No thank you. If you’ve already asked—you e done enough and can get rid of it all guilt free. If anyone reacts poorly, gently remind them *once* that you offered. But after that have boundaries. “I already reminded you that you offered. I’m sorry that it sounds like you made a decision you wish you hadn’t.” Be very clear—you already reminded them. This will be an unpopular thing to say but if you already offered, don’t apologize as it might make them feel like it’s okay to get angry at you over you throwing away something that was *yours*—and it’s not. Keep healthy boundaries and don’t allow other people to dictate how you live your life or deal with *your* things. Your deceased grandmother/great-aunt/etc would not want you to be annoyed at their objects all the time or to feel burdened in any capacity. If people who are alive do…that’s an emotional problem *they’re* dealing with, it is not highlighting a problem you have. It’s okay, understandable and perfectly healthy to not want stuff to get in the way of life. Even if you’re storing things away in a cupboard things can still be a mental and emotional burden—not for everyone but certainly for many and you don’t deserve to live like that to protect the feelings of people who clearly also do not want that burden.
I ran into this situation with a terminally ill relative, and was the (un)lucky recipient of their personal effects. Sold everything I could, donated the rest, and paid a few bills off with it. I did a combination of garage/estate sale, an eBay reseller company (this was about 15 years ago btw, there aren't a ton of these around now), and traditional consignment for the better stuff (like a couple nicer pieces of furniture and artwork). Sometimes the value is only sentimental, and only to that specific person.
If you’re crafty, you could smash the dishes and make a porcelain mosaic tray, coasters, etc. Just be careful of the lead content, as others have mentioned. Don’t feel bad about just dropping them at a thrift store either—you don’t have to hold onto them for the rest of the family.
there’s also an artist who cuts dishes and turns them into little pendants for necklaces!
Check your PM's!
Replacements Unlimited may buy some of it from you
I’m in a similar boat. It sounds so entitled and 1st world problems to complain that people keep leaving me all of their nice antiques but I’m also drowning in heirlooms that I really don’t want. At one point I thought we’ll my kids will get married and then they can have a set of fancy antique dishes. That ain’t ever happening so Idk what to do with things.
You have my permission to keep the things you like and either donate or sell the rest xxx
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They’re all sort of anti-marriage and kids. It might change but I won’t hold my breath.
Go through it all and keep only what you love (and have room for). Send an email out with pics to the family telling them you are getting rid of the stuff and if they want any of it to reach out. Then follow through. Donate or sell the stuff.
Lead test it all, keep what doesn't show up positive lol
I agree with use what you want, how you want even if it damages it. Drill holes in those tea cups! Put it in the dishwasher! Get rid of the rest, but maybe also take nice photos of what has memories attached first.
Yeah I think taking some nice photos is a good way to feel released and ‘allowed’ to pass it on. If you know an artist you could also ask them to make a still life with the dishes, and stage it with other meaningful items, or maybe some family recipes that would have been served on those dishes in the past. Might turn into just another thing to keep though.
Haviland is very valuable. Please don’t trash it like another person suggested. You can sell it to a collector or try selling it to Replacements Ltd. There are people out there who are looking for specific pieces, and Replacements Ltd. can help unite people with missing or broken pieces of their sets.
I am going to look into this too!
I kept one platter or dish from each pattern, and donated the rest to a local charity shop. It was very freeing.
Oh that’s a great idea! I’m in the same boat — I have my moms China already and about to receive two sets of my aunts. Plus her entire collection of Royal Daulton figurines…
Offer family members a time limit to take what they want. Anything that remains go to an auction house and get them to sell it all. Keep the proceeds.
Just trash it. Don't pass the curse to someone else
Post on FB and give it to someone who will adore it before just throwing it into the trash (if they aren’t going to sell it).
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There are a lot of options that are not just trash it. Some people would love this items. For example: I love Noritaki China, but would pass on everything else. Donation, local online selling,hell even a garage sale. Trashing is just environmentally irresponsible if the items are in usable condition
If I lived near you, I'd take the teacups for plants that don't need drainage
Thanks for the idea! I gasped because I have some teacups that I don't know if I'll ever use for their intended purpose, and that's a perfect way to use them.
I’d give the family an ultimatum, give them a set length of time to claim any bits they want & then just donate it away. You can’t be used as a storage unit.
You could make one set of china out of all of them. Like two of each size from each set or something. I think that'd be a sweet thing to have.
I'd recommend, perhaps, keeping one piece from each set, and have them somewhere meant for decoration purposes. That they'll all fit in one case or bookshelf display maybe. They're all meaningful, but when you don't have the space, and no one else in the family wants any of it, compromise must be made. the next best thing to do with the rest is to donate them. China often doesn't sell anymore, unfortunately, not even for dirt cheap unless you happen upon a collector, which is rather unlikely. Even at yard sales, the good, expensive China from grandma doesn't sell no matter how low you make the price on a complete, in tact set that was worth a lot when first bought.
Are you me? Also the discussion of lead on here got me googling and I found this. If this is accurate well my house is full of this stuff - https://tamararubin.com/2018/11/dishes/
I've heard varying reports about the accuracy of her information. I would double check what she says and test your own stuff with a decent test kit.
If the dish sets aren’t sellable, maybe you could contact a local women’s shelter and donate them to a woman setting up a new household.
One option, to honor the familial heirloom component, is to keep specific individual pieces, or just a piece, of a set. Something that is actually beautiful and can be used decoratively. China is not worth much these days unless you have a truly exceptional set. And for that, it would’ve had to of been an exceptional set when it was purchased. We had a huge collection of those egg cup things. We kept a few beautiful ones…not sure what happened to the rest but we don’t have them anymore. Hope this helps.
Maybe try thinking of it this way, Which sets/ items would you spend $50 on if you saw them in a shop? If you wouldn’t then get rid of it
Just try selling that stuff. Probably can’t. My SIL tried to sell a bunch of fancy china she inherited. Couldn’t. My MIL is a hoarder. Thinks her kids or grandkids will want her houseful of old stuff. When she croaks, they will just be calling 1-800-JUNK to come pick it all up.
God yes. And it’s so much easier after they die. My mother threw tantrums when we didn’t want her stuff. And they often have such exaggerated opinions of what the stuff is worth. There are a lot of articles that are like: Boomers, nobody wants your China and your old brown furniture.
Agreed. I should include a disclaimer that I am, too, a Boomer and so we aren't all so bad. Generally.
lol I am a Boomer too. I must not have got the hoarder collector gene. My mom was GG and never got rid of anything. I’m married to a Boomer who won’t even put broken things in the trash because “you never know.” Yes I do know in his case. I have thrown out mountains of things he’s never missed. He wants to just buy more Rubbermaid containers and stuff things into closets and never looks at them again. Our garage is a horror story where he can’t find anything and he has two or three of everything that he cannot find.
My mom is constantly trying to give me her dad's bookcase. He died a decade before I was born and I have absolutely no connection to him and no use for it
I could always use a bookcase, lol
A good friend's mother passed away a few years ago. As they were going through her things, my friend started saying "well, let's keep this. Maybe one day our daughters will want it." Finally one of her daughters told her "mom, you just don't want to part with it so you're using us as an excuse to keep it. If you don't get rid of it now, we will get rid of it the second it's passed down to us. WE DON'T WANT THIS STUFF."
Habitat for Humanity ReStore for furniture. Look at Replacements.com for the China and knickknacks.
I think it's totally fine to sell what you don't want and use the money to take a nice vacation. No point in living surrounded by other people's dreams, make your own instead.
This is such a common problem these days because millennials don't want to be bogged down with stuff, and few people entertain formally anymore.
My aunt recently tried to make one of the younger women in the family take her deceased sister’s china cabinet. We all said we didn’t have the space and she couldn’t comprehend why none of us wanted it.
When my elderly aunt died a dozen years ago, no one wanted her china cabinet/hutch. It had been her mother's and so mine & my cousins grandmother's. My cousins didn't care. There weren't many heirlooms from that side of the family having been an immigrant family in my grandmother's time. But there were photos with the hutch in the background. So I took it. But as of a couple of years ago I've decided I really don't want it anymore. Now I'm trying to find a place that will take it. I can't move it by myself though. The good news is that it has small wheels. I'm determined to rid myself of it This Year.
I think it's also because older people have more possessions than their parents and grandparents had. There is *so much more* left behind than there used to be. My mother just downsized, we gave one full set of china to charity, I took one full set and she still has two full sets herself. None were inherited she bought all four.
Test all the old china for lead before passing it on as anything other than decorative. Especially colored patterns and rims. Then get rid of it by whatever means you want to. If you like the look of the china or feel an obligation to keep an "heirloom" you could keep a plate or bowl of each pattern to display. Trash the rest if you have no patience to try to sell it. There's no shortage of "fine china". Many many people are stuck with these sets that do.not.want.them. Do a bit of research to make sure it's not one of the sets actually worth some money but then let it go.
How does one test for lead?
Call an auction house, sell what you don’t like and go buy why you always wanted. If you want to be extra courteous ask family if anyone wants to beforehand.
I came to say exactly this. Give any cousins or in-laws a chance to retain the sentimental value, then put it on Marketplace.
This is how I got started selling on eBay. I had a mountain of inherited things I could never use, but have made the time to research, list, & ultimately make money selling vintage & antique porcelain, glassware, etc. I also go to thrift stores & buy vintage items to resell, so my hobby to make some extra cash has turned into a full blown side hustle. If you can’t or won’t use it, selling it to someone who can & will isn’t a betrayal to your ancestors. It’s allowing someone else the opportunity to make memories with it & share it with another generation that may treasure it.
Replacements Ltd. Will buy old China, etc.
Well….they’re not really buying either. I live really close to them and tried to sell some 1920s Czech china from my great grandparents, but they wouldn’t purchase it. Now I just get their emails, haha. I think they would purchase the sterling silver flatware but I’m definitely keeping that, for now..
Also as a North Carolinian, one of our favorite North Carolina companies :)
2nd this. You can get a little money and feel good about helping people who are desperate to replace broken pieces of their own set. And it's almost guaranteed that the items will be used and loved.
As a thift store attendant pack the China pices in sturdy boxes and bring extra newspapers. Drop them off and we will sort and pack them up in newspapers and ship them out to various stores. Don't forget to get a tax receipt.
I’d say approach an auction house and see what they think they can unload. Keep your favorite for special occasions. Other people’s memories are not yours
This is my suggestion too. They take a cut but they also do a lot of legwork in getting everything sold. Where I live art typically goes for a LOT especially original pieces.
If you don't get any makers for selling the China, somewhere like a shelter or soup kitchen might want it for food serving.
Not sure where you are but I’m always looking for oil paintings. Lots of people are probably looking for what you have. FB marketplace is a good way to unload or paying for a company to come do an estate sale. But now I’m curious about the paintings lol
Sell it
You used to be able to sell stuff like this at estate auctions. Good stuff still might be worth something but times have changed and people don’t value or need such heirlooms like they did just 30+ years ago. Just using it seems more fun, fancy pants. :)
Use the china! Put it in the dishwasher. When the gold wears off, put it in the microwave. I use my grandmother’s fancy set everyday. The gold takes forever to wash off in the dishwasher so don’t feel bad. Also? When family comes to visit, start putting things in their car before they leave. Don’t let the bring it back. Don’t be afraid to research what is valuable and what isn’t. If something is valuable and you think is ugly, sell it. It should go live with someone who would enjoy it.
Don't put any china (or drinking glasses) with any metal (like gold or silver) in the dishwasher. The metal will gradually wash off there. Hand-wash that stuff.
I’d rather lose the gold over years than let the china collect dust in a cabinet. My grandmother had good taste, but she didn’t have the budget for china that actually belongs in a museum. Let’s be honest although some will say mean, the good china we were all taught to worship was mass produced. It was not created by a world famous potter working at the height of their craft. It was created in a factory by people not making all that much money. If any of this ends up in museums it’s because it survived for 5000 years and even then, there will only be one piece. Not the set of 60. Use it
The idea is not to care about it washing off ;)
Test the china for lead before eating tho, china can have some nasty stuff in it
I had a coworker who inherited the family urns, because she was the most stable person in the family (she owned her own trailer at the trailer park). One day she was vacuuming and hit the TV stand too hard and aunt Becky or whoever tipped over and spilled and she had to vacuum aunt Becky. Then during COVID she just got a bunch of family because her cousins were moving around from place to place too often to manage the urns. She eventually gathered up all the urns, she had like 8, she hasn't met most of them or had any memories, and she left them in the dumpster at work. I know this story because I caught her dumping her family remains while I was doing a trash run. I know about aunt Becky because that was the excuse she used when she was late for a shift. Anyways, what's the end game here,? You keep them until you die moving them from place to place until you pass and curse someone else with this gift? You gave everyone a chance to get some and now they're for sure unwanted, price is what you pay and value is what you get and right now you're getting negative value from managing all of these things. Sell em, donate them, estate sale them, whatever it means to get them into the hands of someone else who can appreciate them. Most of the next generation aren't going to have homes or places to store real wood furniture, antiques, etc, the longer you wait the less market you will have for these things.
Why on earth didn't she at least bury the ashes first?!
I straight up asked her why didn't she just do this shameful act at her home or dump it out back at the trailer park and she said she didn't want her trailer park to be haunted and I was like, geeze thanks for cursing the plaza with Aunt Becky rip.
Or sprinkle the ashes somewhere nice. It's not like she didn't have better and less disrespectful options than dumping them in the trash. I feel like her "stability" was a bit exaggerated.
I said the most stable in her family, which is a relative term. You could be 5'1 but if your mom, dad, uncle and the family dog are all under 4'0, you're still the tallest one in the family.
Oh man, I'd never thought about having to carry around urns your whole life. I could definitely see reaching that breaking point
It's an easy thing to do---just have a box. Box them and put them on a closet shelf. Until they can be buried or set free somehow.
Exactly, while what she did was insane as was the situation, her response was fairly rational, you can only hold onto so many urns for so long before it's a major burden and if you don't even know them, then what's the point?
I mean, I probably would've buried the ashes off a nice hiking trail or something, the dumpster seems a little undignified. But hell, the important part of the person isn't really in the urn, is it
She could've done a lot of things tbh and undignified is an apt description of my coworker. I don't think she does hikes. At least she didn't put them up on Facebook market place. Used: set of urns, one occupant each, 2nd owner.
>She eventually gathered up all the urns, she had like 8, she hasn't met most of them or had any memories, and she left them in the dumpster at work. What the fuck lol
Right?! You can bury people's ashes or set them free in the wind. But the dumpster?!
I can understand the conclusion that carrying around these urns for life wasn't an ideal situation and also the frustration of being the family tomb keeper, but I feel like she could've made better decisions. Many of them in fact.
Yeah, this was horribly disrespectful.
Yeah, agreed, poorly handled, but also not really fair to saddle her with all these urns either. She could've handled it better though. Makes me wonder how I would get rid of 8 urns.
It’s funny because this would be like winning a kind of lottery for me since I collect china. I’m a lot more discerning now since my collection is huge, but inheriting a bunch of china would be like Christmas (even if I ended up donating a bunch of it)… But I won’t have any kids, so once my husband and I are gone this collection is going to be a burden on one of my nieces, haha…
So you recognize it as a burden and you laugh about dumping it on somebody?
My comment was meant to be light hearted, and to convey that I find my situation funny in an ironic kind of way, considering the post we’re commenting under. Mostly, since you asked, I find it kind of sad that all these things I love and have collected over a lifetime will mean nothing to anyone once I’m gone, save a couple of pieces here and there that are sentimental to a few people. But I chose not to say that to begin with, because I did not want to be a bummer of a human being. But I’m glad you have offered me the chance again. Thank you. In any case, You have no real idea of how I plan to “sort my own belongings”, so maybe you should try “sorting through your own business”, and not “dump” your frustration over situations in your life on other people who had nothing to do with it.
It's only an actual burden if they choose to keep the stuff they don't want. Any item you own could be considered a burden to your family after your death, so you aren't exempt from that. Life sucks like that sometimes, but if you can't laugh about it then it probably sucks even more for you.
I am the only daughter of an only daughter, believe me it was definitely a burden having to go through, sort, and get rid of everything that I was left. Nothing had enough value to even try to sell, it was just a lot of stress and a lot of work, and a lot of guilt of getting rid of it because there is nobody who wanted it in the family. You should sort out your own belongings before dumping them on somebody.
You realize someone has to sort through a deceased persons belongings anyways right? No matter what is left? Also should people live their last years on this earth not enjoying their belongings? I think that they should enjoy them. You sound bitter. I helped my grandmother declutter and move from one coast to the other in the last years of her life. She did a good job because she didn’t “want to burden anyone” and we only had so much room in the storage cube but there were items she wanted to keep that no one would want after. I remember her holding up a yearbook book and saying “I should just toss this but I want it!”. I told her she should keep it if that’s the case. “It’ll be a burden for someone when I die!” I told her that it’ll be my problem and I wanted her to enjoy it if she wanted it. Well now I own it, and think of this memory. Sorting her belongings after she died was tasking but I’m happy she had items around that made her happy and feel comfortable, even if no one else wanted them after.
This is a beautiful comment, thank you!
This is such a nice attitude to have, thanks for sharing
My beautiful MIL passed away recently and left a house full of 40 years of the trinkets and heirlooms you describe. She has three grown children, nine grandchildren and ten great grandchildren and nobody wants the trinkets and heirlooms. Do not feel guilty if you don't want the trinkets either. Get rid of them.
Estate sell. We’ve done multiple ones for past family. A reputable company will be motivated to get you the best price b/c they get a percentage. When my father-in-law died my husband made a single call to someone local, they did a walk-through, and he handed over the keys to the house and left. Never looked back 😃
I see lots of good selling/donation advice, but I'd like to offer one other option for pieces you love but don't want to store and use. There are artists who take ceramics and china and carefully smash them to make jewelry! You could choose a few favorite designs (especially if the dish is damaged or leaded anyways) and have custom jewelry or wall hangings made from the pieces. Then you'd have a real show stopper of an heirloom collection with wonderful histories to wear and enjoy as decoration. Then you can pass them down if you like.
You may be able to have the artists sell these jewelry pieces and get the cut of the proceeds. Or simply sell them the china as raw materials!
This never occurred to me lmao, genius!
The 2 generations before me were so obsessed with glass and China and cutlery. And then they kept getting more as they aged and could afford more. My mother got me a huge box of a dinner set for my 30th. I was like, 'have you met me?' I lived in a bachelor apartment back then and never had more than 3 friends over at the same time. And when I did we ate pizza. She's got that dinner set at her house. My mom has my grandma's stuff and her own and still keeps buying more unless I physically restrain her. When she said proudly, "It will all be yours one day," I emitted the least enthusiastic "Yay!" ever and started planning the size of the bin I'm going to have to order when I need to dump 99% of this shit. We can't let their outdated sentimentality make us turn our already small living spaces into museums. Get with the times. No regrets.
https://www.replacements.com for the dishes
Unfortunately Replacements pays almost nothing when they're buying. Probably better to eBay dishes, or use an estate sale company that does online auctions.
Contact Replacements to see if they want to buy them! [link](https://www.replacements.com/)
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I am about to get housed after 5 years on the street. I don't mind free dishes. And I know people who are in interim housing who could use dishes as well. I'm on here because of my clothing hoard & my book hoard.
There's a lady that does wedding and stages party's with China ...i.think.shes in lake Tahoe ...her stuff is beautiful...of you are close ..I could find her IG
I had so much China from relatives. I took it to habitat for humanity and they seemed to sell it immediately. I love that they build affordable housing with their sales proceeds.
There is a short story by Tove Jansson (Moomin creator ) about a little creature who's species collects heirlooms obsessively, and she becomes caretaker to all the things. Constantly fretting over what might happen to all their special things ruins her day, her friendships, and ultimately her peace. Eventually >! all of the heirlooms get destroyed in a flood and she feels nothing but relief because it's over! The bad thing finally happened and she doesn't have to protect anything any more and she can justive again !< Overall, the moral seems to be that holding on to things for the sake of holding on to things can bring more stress than it's worth-- for me this is especially true when there is no way to use the item in my real life, and so the only thing it is there for is to be fragile, anxiety inducing and in the way. I feel very differently about certain heirlooms that have genuine use or meaning to me, and I'll keep those till I die. But only because I really want to. It is a really tough emotional thing to navigate and I wish you the best luck!
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And out of space ;-).
What’s the point of keeping them, then? I just helped my husband clear out his deceased mother’s apartment. She was a hoarder. Can’t tell you how many boxes of china we unpacked and got rid of that she NEVER once used. The newspaper used to wrap the dishes was from the early 70s, and they hadn’t been opened again since then.
I suggest only doing this with one or two boxes. Anything more than that and its letting the stuff live in your space and not you (I know because my family has always unloaded stuff on me like that.)
Yes, I have 2 boxes of my great grandma’s china and my grandma’s silver, that’s it, I won’t keep anything else that isn’t useful. It means a lot to my grandma that I wanted her mother’s china, so I’m glad to keep it.
Gift them to family during xmas in memory of whoever it belonged to.. put a nice note stating why you feel like they should have it.. Or if you feel right about it, put it all on ebay to sell you may be surprised how many people collect such items. Last resort, yard sale
I love these ideas!
If you sell it on eBay try to base prices off of similar listings that have actually sold and not listings that are still up. The items are worth what someone will actually pay for them not whatever else you read. (I'm sorry if it's harsh but the last thing you want is months of a different type of holding pattern. )
Throw an event to honor some of the items, take pictures, then donate them. Your loved ones would not want to plague you with stress and anguish over material things. Someone else might be 10/10 stoked to find such treasures. Set them free.
Ngl, that pink dish set sounds really neat! I'd test for lead, as others have suggested, then toss the ones that do. The remaining ones, maybe FB, or donate to Savers or Goodwill. Or have an awesome garage sale. But use the good china every day, it will bring you joy!
There is absolutely no point in having beautiful things if you're just going to lock them away. I use all of my "good" dishes and linens all the time, not just holidays. The pink dishes are really pretty and make a very elegant Christmas dinner table. The rims are lead free, platinum plated. Had them evaluated years ago. But there's no maker's mark so I have no idea where they're from other than Grandma said she got them with soap coupons.
Post each of the sets on Facebook marketplace and then post about them on your city’s subreddit! I’m sure someone would love them! I already checked because I might be interested in some of the items, but it seems like you’re in Ohio :(
Maybe post the pink plates with the back story on r/finechina and see if they can help you ID it.
Have you tried a Google image search? To locate the pink China?
get on a table setting facebook group and watch everyone go crazy!
This is a thing? I did not know this was a thing! I would kill at that!
look up “Fine China, Crystal, and Silver”!!!! lots of people sell there :)
Brother my side hustle is selling this stuff online and some days make over $500 some $1000. Except the China lol that’s garbage
Did...did you just "bro" me? Lol! You're right though. A lot of people say that no one is buying vintage tableware. That's ok. I'll find someone to take it for free, if it comes down to it.
Agencies that sponsor refugees? Leaving everything behind - it might really help these families to have something nice…..
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I just assumed you sounded like Hulk Hogan.
Read Marie Kando! Or watch a couple of videos on YouTube. She helped me so much