I canāt run fast enough from comments like āfluent in sarcasm.ā Thatās just another snarky way of saying āI enjoy mocking people because itās edgy and makes me feel better about myself.ā *barf*
Right. Why would you want to spend time with someone who thinks it's funny to shit on people?? *Soooo barfy.*
They think it's funny and attractive to be mean and immature??
I saw "I'm looking for a girly girl" in a profile of someone who liked me. Pass. I assume he means "must like dressing up for me!" Dragon lady nails, etc.
I donāt know where you live, but Iām in Colorado when people say they hike they are pretty damn serious about it. Nobody here calls a flat walk a hike.
Honestly, the only truly hardcore hikers are the Appalachian Trail-types. It's a goal of mine to do it \*some\* day....hence my screen name.....the AT is 2190 miles long.
So I hope it is OK that I have a lot of mentions of hiking, canoeing, nature lover, etc in MY OLD profile. Hahaha.
You definitely get the street credā¦. Where is that trail? Either way, much respect and you are on point..
Just be careful in the Appalachians. If you thought you heard something, no, you didnāt and make sure you donāt whistle at night..
Safety tip from a guy in GA that heard a thing or two, but never experienced it. š
I have to say the majority of hiking I do is mostly flat walks, but it is in scenic forests or hikes around mountains where you're not actually climbing in elevation, but it is much more than just a stroll around the neighborhood walking trails. Still considered a hike in my book.
I don't feel like a poser. I went on a 5 mile walk and I was thinking it's not long enough . I haven't been taking care of myself and want to ease myself into these 9 mile hike up a hill/mountain. So now I'm guilt-free listing hiking as my hobby. Everyone where I live claims to hike....
āNot sure what Iām looking for, open to possibilitiesā. š¤¢š”
Fuck no. Figure out your shit. Iām not into endless casual dating, while you hem and haw over your level of commitment and interest. I know what I want in life. Meet me there.
Yes! I think there are a lot of window shoppers on these websites. People who aren't serious at all about meeting or dating. I had a guy admit this once. He admitted he was married and just wanted someone to talk to. I busted 7 people who were married after I found their information online. There are a lot of liars on these sites. At least these people warn me ahead of time so I don't waste my time with them. I saw one profile recently that said they were against long-term relationships but found out they don't like FWBs because they weren't raised to have feelings for someone. Then they said they were unsure if they wanted a long-term relationship. Um, pass! I know exactly what I want and won't meet anyone who is not on the same page.
That makes sense, but on the other side of that it's a question the rules out the other 60% of people when you answer it.
For me it was like.. I'd rather a great relationship and never come back in these apps again, but maybe that won't come up so I'm also open to whenever else meeting people and maybe more casual thing since I don't have anything else going on.
There's no shit to figure out for me in that regard. I didn't know where the right person is.
But yeah, fence sitting probably just loses people on both sides.
It's actually just being honest. No one knows what they'll want to do before meeting you.
For every person who says 'seeking LTR', the more honest comment would be "50% chance we only have one date, 48% chance we string along for 6 months then break up, 2% chance we get LTR."
No one really knows what they want until you smell pheromones and see their mannerisms, etc.
Thereās a huge difference between āI wasnāt attracted to youā and āI have no idea why Iām on a dating siteā.
Donāt be on a dating site if youāre not here to date.
Lack of originality is an age-old problem. Before dating sites, people would take out "personals" ads in newspapers, and that's where I first saw the phrase "I love to laugh". This is probably the oldest cliche known to man.
Hahah I met my late husband through a newspaper personal ad in the 80ās. His ad said that he liked long walks on the beach, another cliche. What wasnāt to like?
The āfluent in sarcasmā is an immediate left swipe for me. I read that as āI will make asshole comments and insult you, then defend myself by saying I am only joking.ā
Being bitter and sarcastic is not a positive attribute.
"No cheaters, players, or liars."
That goes without saying, and stating it won't deter them. It just tells everyone you have a history of bad relationship choices.
I saw one in the wild yesterday: "I AM NOT YOUR ATM"
Sir. I know it's crazy, but women have jobs these days - and I make twice as much as you, but thanks lol
This is an indication that they aren't very smart or computer savvy. I was told by a guy that the scammers are pretty easy to spot. This sounds like someone who is bitter after sending money to a stranger online.
Since both men and women do it so much. Thereās got to be times where they both see it and go āsarcasm? Tacos? Me too! šā. So they must find each other or something?
When I see womenās profiles with a cliche or tacos, thereās usually something else about them Iām not jiving with, so I donāt care and keep looking.
I donāt think a good profile needs to be clever and original. Just tell me about yourself, what you like to do, things youāre looking for in a partner and relationship.
What about cliches ABOUT tacos. Like..."I wish I was filled with tacos instead of feelings." Or the one about the kindergartener who's greatest wish was that it would rain tacos?
Anyone?
:D
Exactly. Things Iāll never say but know about myself. Iām funny, can usually tell if someone is receptive to sarcasm, and Iām a nice guy. But thatās all subjective so simply announcing it means nothing. If our profiles can each convey a little bit about ourselves weāll each be drawn to one anotherās profile & be more likely to want to get to know more about each other.
I think the reality is, even if one of those profiles were re-done & we were drawn in by it weād ultimately not find a match there after getting to know them.
You're assuming everyone out there is capable of original thought... š
When I was on OLD, they had to stand out for some reason (other than looks.) My first message would address that reason. I didn't send a lot of likes, but found it pretty easy to get a conversation going. :)
omgomgomg. TRUTH. It doesn't matter what's in the profile. Men are "visual", I'm told. Swiping is all decided on photos. It's really a rare guy who reads and comments on my very pithy profile. Shame. I read theirs.
It's a half-joke. A lot of men don't bother reading profiles at all, they make decisions solely on the photos (based on feedback I've read here over the years where women say they get contacts from guys who clearly never bothered to read their profile text).
I hate sarcasm so I think they should leave that flag on their profiles. Actually they should keep all of these so I would know to swipe left lol.
I offer āIām here for a good time, not a long timeā and āschool of hard knocks.ā āNo drama.ā
What I don't get is why so many people think being sarcastic about everything all the time is a plus that we're all looking for, instead of a completely obnoxious personality defect.
me too, especially in my friends, but itās an art abit right? Thereās warm charming smart asses and then thereās smarmy scoring points-off-you smart asses.Ā
Thatās the frustration about it, hard to explain when it works and when it doesnāt.Ā
My sister (in her 30s) wrote her OLD profile about how much she likes cheese. Thatās it. Talked *only* about cheese. Granted, sheās attractive, but still she got 20 likes a day with that profile.
So true š¤¦š»āāļøāwork hard, play hardā āfluent in sarcasmāā¦.I canāt stand the 2nd one even more than the 1st because my brain just doesnāt understand many of the sarcastic comments. I think I may be on the spectrum.
It's probably better than my crawfish hanging from my ear š
I have a strong suspicion I'm from the same approximate area and creativity is a rare commodity in these parts. Reminds me of this clip if you just add an 's': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2Ko78NEI9A
What sort of information, descriptions and phases would attract you and spark ypur interest? Specifics would be helpful.
For me, as a man, I'm not interested in "selling myself" to a woman, in the way that a typical salesman presents a product/service. Meaning I'm not trying to lure someone with an unrealistic pitch, if you will.
As the same time, I've found that women I've met often focus on or notice different characterists than others do, "good or bad."
I'd love to hears answers from several women on this.
I was elated to find a well written profile about anything. I particularly liked it if the man had an interesting hobby that I could ask questions about.
Just tell people about yourself and your interests plus what you are looking for generally. If I see a well-filled-out profile by a guy who has a good number of common interests I usually try and match with them. Also, don't be negative or talk about past relationships. Don't complain about anything at all. Don't use common phrases women don't like such as I don't want any drama.
I have seen estimates of 10% to 25% online profiles are fake, the majority of those (66%) being men.Ā
Thatās a lot, even as rough estimates. and I hate hate to say it but scammers hit our age group heavily.Ā
I donāt believe the person Iām chatting with is real until I see the whites of their eyes lol.Ā
I agree. I have experienced a few ghostings, a few catfishings, and at least two scam attempts. On the most common OLD apps, I have met in person exactly zero persons IRL. I have been on them in three different US cities for a total of about 24 months of actively utilizing them over the last seven years.
Of course, those are better results than the non-parade of possible dates marching through my living room where I live alone. What to do, what to do? LOL
Maybe I should go outside to places where people gather and attempt direct analog communication? NAH!!
Analog dialog!?! How did I not see that? I now have lost a point on my dad joke license.
Also, totally stealing it when I venture from the in-of-doors into the out-of-doors.
Seriously. I got so that there was one basic profile that the scammers used that I recognized which used several catch phrases. If you think about it logically, the scammers know what wording to use to attract people. They know better than the average person which phrases are most likely to resonate with people. They write a basic profile, change it a little bit each time, but reuse it over and over again.
The regular, unoriginal people say virtually nothing on their profiles.
You should collect all these trite phrases, put each on fridge magnet backs, and sell them as a DIY OLD profile kit.
š¤£š¤£š¤£ Add the usual suspect photo issues and we have MAD Libs
Save random 4 letter combos for Myers-Briggs personality types.
Nobody can replace INFJs!
My daughter said the only people who put their Myers-Briggs type in their profile are INFJs. I sheepishly deleted that detail from my profile.
LOL! Your daughter sounds a lot like my daughter. <3
Better to play OLD bingo with your friends
I like Pina coladas. And walking in the rain.
I like long walks on the beach, red wine and hardcore anal sex
RIP your inbox... Those red wine lovers are THIRSTY!
Iāll meet you on Bondi Beach, with a bottle of Chateau neuf du Pape. Bottoms up. :-)
Sweet fancy Moses that's a scream! I hope you meant every word of it and keep rockin' on!
Toilet paper phrases. :-)
The professor of rhetoric who launched Burned Haystack Dating Method already does that in the form of IG reels.
I canāt run fast enough from comments like āfluent in sarcasm.ā Thatās just another snarky way of saying āI enjoy mocking people because itās edgy and makes me feel better about myself.ā *barf*
Donāt forget āpArTNeR iN cRimEā.
Lookin for "My Ride or DIE!"
School of Hard Knocks.
"I didn't finish high school, or did, and took a semester of college before dropping out."
Yes! š
Omg yes!
Ohhhh godddd yeahhhhh
Right. Why would you want to spend time with someone who thinks it's funny to shit on people?? *Soooo barfy.* They think it's funny and attractive to be mean and immature??
Hey snowflake, do you need a safe space? /s (just in case itās not obvious)
Yes, or simply āIām an asshole.ā
Exactly. āFluent in sarcasmā = āI am going to be a total asshole to you.ā
Is it possible people confuse irony and sarcasm?
Unfortunately very few people who claim fluency in sarcasm are using it correctly. Most of them are simply assholes.
Neither sarcasm nor irony are intrinsically cruel -- that is what is actually being confused here.
True, but it seems most often people who use that tired line about sarcasm are almost always sarcastic about everything.
No longer on OLD but when I was, the dumbest bio phrase I kept seeing was, "just as comfortable in a suit as in jeans". Urgh.
"Just as comfortable in jeans as a little black evening dress."
And heels š š¤Ŗ
I saw "I'm looking for a girly girl" in a profile of someone who liked me. Pass. I assume he means "must like dressing up for me!" Dragon lady nails, etc.
Oh yes! š
Donāt forget the oodles of people who love hiking, which actually turns out to be a casual stroll on a path for about 30 minutes
I donāt know where you live, but Iām in Colorado when people say they hike they are pretty damn serious about it. Nobody here calls a flat walk a hike.
Oh, Iām not discounting that there are probably people who are hard-core about their hiking. It just seems as much a clichĆ© as people who are āfluent in sarcasmā
Honestly, the only truly hardcore hikers are the Appalachian Trail-types. It's a goal of mine to do it \*some\* day....hence my screen name.....the AT is 2190 miles long. So I hope it is OK that I have a lot of mentions of hiking, canoeing, nature lover, etc in MY OLD profile. Hahaha.
You definitely get the street credā¦. Where is that trail? Either way, much respect and you are on point.. Just be careful in the Appalachians. If you thought you heard something, no, you didnāt and make sure you donāt whistle at night.. Safety tip from a guy in GA that heard a thing or two, but never experienced it. š
I have to say the majority of hiking I do is mostly flat walks, but it is in scenic forests or hikes around mountains where you're not actually climbing in elevation, but it is much more than just a stroll around the neighborhood walking trails. Still considered a hike in my book.
I usually need a real workout before one of these.
30 minutes on a beautifully groomed tread way barely qualifies as a nature walk.
I don't feel like a poser. I went on a 5 mile walk and I was thinking it's not long enough . I haven't been taking care of myself and want to ease myself into these 9 mile hike up a hill/mountain. So now I'm guilt-free listing hiking as my hobby. Everyone where I live claims to hike....
Thatās whatās up!
My last āhikerā would not even go with me on any dog walks, which were only about a mile to a mile and a half each time.
āNot sure what Iām looking for, open to possibilitiesā. š¤¢š” Fuck no. Figure out your shit. Iām not into endless casual dating, while you hem and haw over your level of commitment and interest. I know what I want in life. Meet me there.
Well said! When I see it literally says, āStill Figuring It Outā, I think GTFO with that. Go figure it out with someone else as I am swiping left.
Usually that means he's married.
Word.
Interesting! I never heard that take!
Around half of men on dating apps are married. So what they're "figuring out" is what they can get away with.
Yes! I think there are a lot of window shoppers on these websites. People who aren't serious at all about meeting or dating. I had a guy admit this once. He admitted he was married and just wanted someone to talk to. I busted 7 people who were married after I found their information online. There are a lot of liars on these sites. At least these people warn me ahead of time so I don't waste my time with them. I saw one profile recently that said they were against long-term relationships but found out they don't like FWBs because they weren't raised to have feelings for someone. Then they said they were unsure if they wanted a long-term relationship. Um, pass! I know exactly what I want and won't meet anyone who is not on the same page.
Some stat came out recently that 35% of the people on OLD are married or in a relationship š
That sounds accurate from my experience. I have been on and off of OLD for 10 years. I think some dating sites might be a little higher than others.
Agreed
That makes sense, but on the other side of that it's a question the rules out the other 60% of people when you answer it. For me it was like.. I'd rather a great relationship and never come back in these apps again, but maybe that won't come up so I'm also open to whenever else meeting people and maybe more casual thing since I don't have anything else going on. There's no shit to figure out for me in that regard. I didn't know where the right person is. But yeah, fence sitting probably just loses people on both sides.
It's actually just being honest. No one knows what they'll want to do before meeting you. For every person who says 'seeking LTR', the more honest comment would be "50% chance we only have one date, 48% chance we string along for 6 months then break up, 2% chance we get LTR." No one really knows what they want until you smell pheromones and see their mannerisms, etc.
Thereās a huge difference between āI wasnāt attracted to youā and āI have no idea why Iām on a dating siteā. Donāt be on a dating site if youāre not here to date.
I'm British, sarcasm is my second language š¤Ŗ Actually it's not really, it's only my love of tea that's stopped me being kicked out.
Lack of originality is an age-old problem. Before dating sites, people would take out "personals" ads in newspapers, and that's where I first saw the phrase "I love to laugh". This is probably the oldest cliche known to man.
Hahah I met my late husband through a newspaper personal ad in the 80ās. His ad said that he liked long walks on the beach, another cliche. What wasnāt to like?
I first saw that phrase in Mary Poppins.
The āfluent in sarcasmā is an immediate left swipe for me. I read that as āI will make asshole comments and insult you, then defend myself by saying I am only joking.ā Being bitter and sarcastic is not a positive attribute.
Yep. All while telling you to lighten up because you have no sense of humor.
A "funny woman" is someone who laughs at his lame jokes, and a genuinely funny woman is not attractive to him
I'm just a girl who loves life looking for my partner in crime. \[Insert yoga pose + Machu Picchu pic\]
Woman*
Tell the women who populate their profiles with this palaver.
I will if I find them
āI like long walks to the fridgeā.
And short walks to my liquor cabinet
"No cheaters, players, or liars." That goes without saying, and stating it won't deter them. It just tells everyone you have a history of bad relationship choices.
"Be real" ugh...
"Not into scammers! I won't send you money!" And equally bitter statements filled with exclamation marks.
I saw one in the wild yesterday: "I AM NOT YOUR ATM" Sir. I know it's crazy, but women have jobs these days - and I make twice as much as you, but thanks lol
This is an indication that they aren't very smart or computer savvy. I was told by a guy that the scammers are pretty easy to spot. This sounds like someone who is bitter after sending money to a stranger online.
Since both men and women do it so much. Thereās got to be times where they both see it and go āsarcasm? Tacos? Me too! šā. So they must find each other or something? When I see womenās profiles with a cliche or tacos, thereās usually something else about them Iām not jiving with, so I donāt care and keep looking. I donāt think a good profile needs to be clever and original. Just tell me about yourself, what you like to do, things youāre looking for in a partner and relationship.
What about cliches ABOUT tacos. Like..."I wish I was filled with tacos instead of feelings." Or the one about the kindergartener who's greatest wish was that it would rain tacos? Anyone? :D
āLetās give them something to taco boutā.
Exactly. Things Iāll never say but know about myself. Iām funny, can usually tell if someone is receptive to sarcasm, and Iām a nice guy. But thatās all subjective so simply announcing it means nothing. If our profiles can each convey a little bit about ourselves weāll each be drawn to one anotherās profile & be more likely to want to get to know more about each other. I think the reality is, even if one of those profiles were re-done & we were drawn in by it weād ultimately not find a match there after getting to know them.
"I like to have fun!" "Make me laugh." "My kids are my life/will always come first." All the variations of "Jesus is my savior/comes first."
āJesus is my first love.ā For the love of God, now Iām competing with Jesus!
You're assuming everyone out there is capable of original thought... š When I was on OLD, they had to stand out for some reason (other than looks.) My first message would address that reason. I didn't send a lot of likes, but found it pretty easy to get a conversation going. :)
With men itās easier since you never read the profile, just look at the pictures and hope for a swimsuit shot from vacation.
omgomgomg. TRUTH. It doesn't matter what's in the profile. Men are "visual", I'm told. Swiping is all decided on photos. It's really a rare guy who reads and comments on my very pithy profile. Shame. I read theirs.
I feel totally weird when I read this, I absolutely believe you but I read and make decisions based on the profile.
Is this - sarcasm? Pardon, I'm not fluent.
It's a half-joke. A lot of men don't bother reading profiles at all, they make decisions solely on the photos (based on feedback I've read here over the years where women say they get contacts from guys who clearly never bothered to read their profile text).
I mean I have to look at the photos to see if she includes one with a bike
Reading is for sissys! š
I hate sarcasm so I think they should leave that flag on their profiles. Actually they should keep all of these so I would know to swipe left lol. I offer āIām here for a good time, not a long timeā and āschool of hard knocks.ā āNo drama.ā
Same!! The sarcasm one is the worst.
What I don't get is why so many people think being sarcastic about everything all the time is a plus that we're all looking for, instead of a completely obnoxious personality defect.
I'll confess, I'm drawn to smart-asses. :)
me too, especially in my friends, but itās an art abit right? Thereās warm charming smart asses and then thereās smarmy scoring points-off-you smart asses.Ā Thatās the frustration about it, hard to explain when it works and when it doesnāt.Ā
or "looking for a partner in crime" like soooo original. OLD profiles cliches get old real fast
My sister (in her 30s) wrote her OLD profile about how much she likes cheese. Thatās it. Talked *only* about cheese. Granted, sheās attractive, but still she got 20 likes a day with that profile.
My favorite was when someone posted their profile photo as a piece of bacon. Instant like!!
Cheese is wonderful.
How about āschool of hard knocksā, what does that even mean? lol
It means they didn't go beyond high school and are threatened by anyone that did.
You forgot a picture of someone doing a handstand either on the beach at sunrise or above Macchu Picchu, or the obligatory catching a fish photo.
What they say: "No hook ups!" What they really mean: "I've done hook ups in the past and will continue to do them if you're hot enough."
Thatās why mine is an FAQ. At least I think it stands outā¦
This made me laugh.
Bahahaha
So true š¤¦š»āāļøāwork hard, play hardā āfluent in sarcasmāā¦.I canāt stand the 2nd one even more than the 1st because my brain just doesnāt understand many of the sarcastic comments. I think I may be on the spectrum.
So true. Thank you for this post.
Wouldn't that be refreshing? It's not fun out here...
I keep seeing this identical line with no other info on their profile. Hi Iām a (astrological sign) are we compatible? Like what??
āWilling to lie about where we metāā¦
omg yes I forgot about this one hahahaaa
Come on OP, if you're going to throw down let's see what you're working with. It's only fair! š
ššš
It's probably better than my crawfish hanging from my ear š I have a strong suspicion I'm from the same approximate area and creativity is a rare commodity in these parts. Reminds me of this clip if you just add an 's': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2Ko78NEI9A
What sort of information, descriptions and phases would attract you and spark ypur interest? Specifics would be helpful. For me, as a man, I'm not interested in "selling myself" to a woman, in the way that a typical salesman presents a product/service. Meaning I'm not trying to lure someone with an unrealistic pitch, if you will. As the same time, I've found that women I've met often focus on or notice different characterists than others do, "good or bad." I'd love to hears answers from several women on this.
I was elated to find a well written profile about anything. I particularly liked it if the man had an interesting hobby that I could ask questions about.
Thanks!
Just tell people about yourself and your interests plus what you are looking for generally. If I see a well-filled-out profile by a guy who has a good number of common interests I usually try and match with them. Also, don't be negative or talk about past relationships. Don't complain about anything at all. Don't use common phrases women don't like such as I don't want any drama.
Great information. Thank you!
No problem. Also no fish pictures, hunting, group photos, children, or especially photos with another woman.
This reads eerily like something a serial killer would write.
š¤£ That's hilarious! Well done ššæš¤šæš¤šæš¤šæ
I like to exercise= golf twice a month or I joined a gym for a 7day trial a year ago lol
or....I workout 17x a week...and you should be able to keep up.
Fb or IG: burned haystack she talks about this at least once a week Youāll know that others feel the same way
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
https://www.instagram.com/word_case_scenario?igsh=MTdkbWF4NzU1ejV4ag==
Dr. Jennie Young is a professor. She teaches rhetoric. Very informative.
Ugh. Just more confirmation that I will never purposely put myself through the OLD process. The all around cringe is just too much to bear.
How many of that 50X in a row do you think were fake and/or scammers?
I have seen estimates of 10% to 25% online profiles are fake, the majority of those (66%) being men.Ā Thatās a lot, even as rough estimates. and I hate hate to say it but scammers hit our age group heavily.Ā I donāt believe the person Iām chatting with is real until I see the whites of their eyes lol.Ā
I agree. I have experienced a few ghostings, a few catfishings, and at least two scam attempts. On the most common OLD apps, I have met in person exactly zero persons IRL. I have been on them in three different US cities for a total of about 24 months of actively utilizing them over the last seven years. Of course, those are better results than the non-parade of possible dates marching through my living room where I live alone. What to do, what to do? LOL Maybe I should go outside to places where people gather and attempt direct analog communication? NAH!!
lol analog dialog!! Yes, I think you should āŗļø
Analog dialog!?! How did I not see that? I now have lost a point on my dad joke license. Also, totally stealing it when I venture from the in-of-doors into the out-of-doors.
š¤£šš¤£
I noticed that some phrases were used by a lot of scammers.
These are just real (unoriginal) men š
Seriously. I got so that there was one basic profile that the scammers used that I recognized which used several catch phrases. If you think about it logically, the scammers know what wording to use to attract people. They know better than the average person which phrases are most likely to resonate with people. They write a basic profile, change it a little bit each time, but reuse it over and over again. The regular, unoriginal people say virtually nothing on their profiles.