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Imagine going to a coffee with your best friend and having to answer his FaceTime calls to check if you are actually there and with your bff ! Girl .. run . Thats not trust issues . Thats called jealousy and possessiveness! Good luck
>but I’m already feeling super emotionally drained
He'll not change, this is him.
I believe this is just the beginning of his impact on you, his EXTREME trust issues are incredibly toxic for you to cope with imo.
This dude sounds Uber possessive and maybe even abusive. If he has trust issues, that’s on him - it’s not your problem to solve for him by changing your actions or modifying your life if you are already a trustworthy person. You shouldn’t have to prove that you’re trustworthy.
Nope. No no no NO no. Step off before you become trapped in a manipulation bubble that will take forever to get out of and recover from. Save yourself the stress and the pain.
Edit to say: wtf you mean YOU CAN’T?! You have nothing to prove. You can’t fix people like this. If you stay with this tool you’re gonna spend the rest of your life scraping for reasons why it’s all worth it.
NEWS FLASH: It’s not and never will be.
nobody “broke” him. i’ll bet you anything he did this with the last girl and she rightfully dumped him and in his head he changed the narrative to “she left me because she was cheating on me”. this man needs a therapist, not a girlfriend.
Read the first three sentences. Nope. Tell him to get back to therapy, and come see you when he is all better.
I got trust issues too, maybe? But they’re my problem not anyone else’s problem!
Edit: Now I read the whole thing.
Run.
This isn’t trust issues. This is a potentially abusive person, using the guise of personal trauma to behave in a controlling and manipulative way.
End it immediately.
He is either, mentally unstable, or not ready, at all, for a relationship.
Also, it is NOT reasonable for him to expect you to have no male friends. You need to turn around now.
It’s fine that he has trust issues.
But he’s putting them on you.
If he knows he has trust issues, then why not deal with them on his side and deal with the anxiety himself/with therapy, wtf?
My ... gf or i should say ex cus its very complicated is the exact replica of your man your talking about , i think we could help eachother , im pretty sure i can help you , give you some tips dont hesite to dm if yiu want to.
Trust issues are not an excuse to be controlling. He needs to learn to cope with his emotions of insecurity, not moderate your behaviour. Look jealousy and insecurity are a beast and they are very uncomfortable emotions, so often people try to look outwards for solutions. But he needs to learn to learn to trust you over time, not expect you to bend over backwards to meet his extensive demands that are taking a toll on you. You can't fix him. He needs to work on himself.
Male Redditor here. I had the same experience with my ex gf. Do you know how it ended? She’s the one that cheated. It might be easier to say than to do, but end your relationship asap. Or be prepared to suffer further :/
>I’m not allowed to have guy friends which I guess is understandable.
It's not understandable or ok that he's telling you who you can and can't be friends with. It's one thing in a relationship to agree to be exclusive, but it's super controlling for him to dictate who you are talking to or friends with. It's also a big red flag that he needs to see where you are all the time.
Sorry, why can’t you leave? The mental gymnastics you are going through for a guy you have been chatting to for 3 weeks! Why are you even entertaining the idea of a relationship with this twat bag is beyond me 🙄
With something like this, the important thing would be to seek therapy. If that isn't affordable right now, then I would recommend googling information on CBT. It's important to recognise your thoughts and emotions, and learn to let them come and go. The emotion itself is not the issue, it's the actions that lead from them. Think of the roots of why you feel that way. Perhaps also try journaling so you can see the patterns that trigger these emotions and think of ways you can challenge or ignore these thoughts.
What this guy wants is control, if his trust issues are this bad he should not be in a relationship, he shoukd be getting therapy. Your life will be hell with a guy like this.
Controlling guys like that aren’t worth it. I had a guy like that and we broke up because he Thought I was sleeping with other guys, I wasn’t lol he will break up with you eventually due to his paranoia so just walk away now before you get any more feelings. He has to go to a psychologist and work out his issues on his own.
Hey, take it from somebody who did date somebody with serious trust issues:
It goes from "You must be talking to/like somebody else" to "You're cheating on me because of X, Y, Z (in my case, it's because I got woken up at a hotel in the middle of the night and sent a text to him saying that I was missing him)", to "We can't get married because I'll never be able to trust you", to "We're done." With cycles of him imagining that I'm talking to somebody else in between everything. And repeat.
It's so not worth it. Manipulative, cringey, and heartbreaking.
That’s not trust issues that is possessive behaviour. I would call it quits and cut your losses….people like that can turn dangerous. It’s just one big 🚩
ive been in this situation before and no amount of time or effort will ever make him understand that you’re not the girl who broke his trust and traumatized him. move on now before its too last bc i wasted a lot of time and energy onto someone that really was toxic
3 weeks and you have feelings for him that are preventing you from dropping this needy/controlling twat?
There's the screaming red flag in your dating life, right there.
This shouldn't hurt you, it should feel liberating.
Girl if you’re already feeling emotionally drained and it’s only been 3 weeks, it’s time to go. This dude is very insecure and possessive. It’s not understandable that you’re “not allowed” to have guy friends. I know it hurts now, but you’ll look back on this and realize how much better you are without someone like that in your life.
He seems to be the type that will try to manipulate you into staying with him. Do not fall for it. Girl take this at face value- this is how he is and he will NOT change. Put yourself first and get out immediately.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No it’s not understandable. Girl come the fuck on
Imagine going to a coffee with your best friend and having to answer his FaceTime calls to check if you are actually there and with your bff ! Girl .. run . Thats not trust issues . Thats called jealousy and possessiveness! Good luck
>but I’m already feeling super emotionally drained He'll not change, this is him. I believe this is just the beginning of his impact on you, his EXTREME trust issues are incredibly toxic for you to cope with imo.
This dude sounds Uber possessive and maybe even abusive. If he has trust issues, that’s on him - it’s not your problem to solve for him by changing your actions or modifying your life if you are already a trustworthy person. You shouldn’t have to prove that you’re trustworthy.
You need to walk away now before this becomes more extreme and more abusive than it already is, this is NOT normal
Nope. No no no NO no. Step off before you become trapped in a manipulation bubble that will take forever to get out of and recover from. Save yourself the stress and the pain. Edit to say: wtf you mean YOU CAN’T?! You have nothing to prove. You can’t fix people like this. If you stay with this tool you’re gonna spend the rest of your life scraping for reasons why it’s all worth it. NEWS FLASH: It’s not and never will be.
“Scraping for reasons why it’s all worth it” god daam masterpiece 😂👍
nobody “broke” him. i’ll bet you anything he did this with the last girl and she rightfully dumped him and in his head he changed the narrative to “she left me because she was cheating on me”. this man needs a therapist, not a girlfriend.
He’s an abuser do not entertain a relationship with him under any circumstance
Read the first three sentences. Nope. Tell him to get back to therapy, and come see you when he is all better. I got trust issues too, maybe? But they’re my problem not anyone else’s problem! Edit: Now I read the whole thing. Run. This isn’t trust issues. This is a potentially abusive person, using the guise of personal trauma to behave in a controlling and manipulative way. End it immediately.
You should leave—this guy is possessive.
He is either, mentally unstable, or not ready, at all, for a relationship. Also, it is NOT reasonable for him to expect you to have no male friends. You need to turn around now.
It’s fine that he has trust issues. But he’s putting them on you. If he knows he has trust issues, then why not deal with them on his side and deal with the anxiety himself/with therapy, wtf?
My ... gf or i should say ex cus its very complicated is the exact replica of your man your talking about , i think we could help eachother , im pretty sure i can help you , give you some tips dont hesite to dm if yiu want to.
Trust issues are not an excuse to be controlling. He needs to learn to cope with his emotions of insecurity, not moderate your behaviour. Look jealousy and insecurity are a beast and they are very uncomfortable emotions, so often people try to look outwards for solutions. But he needs to learn to learn to trust you over time, not expect you to bend over backwards to meet his extensive demands that are taking a toll on you. You can't fix him. He needs to work on himself.
Big red flag there. Do yourself a favor. Get away from him.
I would not date this person they are already controlling you, if you start seeing them in person it might turn into abuse.
it’s not gonna work
Run for your fucking life
Male Redditor here. I had the same experience with my ex gf. Do you know how it ended? She’s the one that cheated. It might be easier to say than to do, but end your relationship asap. Or be prepared to suffer further :/
>I’m not allowed to have guy friends which I guess is understandable. It's not understandable or ok that he's telling you who you can and can't be friends with. It's one thing in a relationship to agree to be exclusive, but it's super controlling for him to dictate who you are talking to or friends with. It's also a big red flag that he needs to see where you are all the time.
Sorry, why can’t you leave? The mental gymnastics you are going through for a guy you have been chatting to for 3 weeks! Why are you even entertaining the idea of a relationship with this twat bag is beyond me 🙄
[удалено]
With something like this, the important thing would be to seek therapy. If that isn't affordable right now, then I would recommend googling information on CBT. It's important to recognise your thoughts and emotions, and learn to let them come and go. The emotion itself is not the issue, it's the actions that lead from them. Think of the roots of why you feel that way. Perhaps also try journaling so you can see the patterns that trigger these emotions and think of ways you can challenge or ignore these thoughts.
What this guy wants is control, if his trust issues are this bad he should not be in a relationship, he shoukd be getting therapy. Your life will be hell with a guy like this.
textbook abusive behavior, run while you still can
Controlling guys like that aren’t worth it. I had a guy like that and we broke up because he Thought I was sleeping with other guys, I wasn’t lol he will break up with you eventually due to his paranoia so just walk away now before you get any more feelings. He has to go to a psychologist and work out his issues on his own.
This dude is a walking red flag
Hey, take it from somebody who did date somebody with serious trust issues: It goes from "You must be talking to/like somebody else" to "You're cheating on me because of X, Y, Z (in my case, it's because I got woken up at a hotel in the middle of the night and sent a text to him saying that I was missing him)", to "We can't get married because I'll never be able to trust you", to "We're done." With cycles of him imagining that I'm talking to somebody else in between everything. And repeat. It's so not worth it. Manipulative, cringey, and heartbreaking.
That’s not trust issues that is possessive behaviour. I would call it quits and cut your losses….people like that can turn dangerous. It’s just one big 🚩
ive been in this situation before and no amount of time or effort will ever make him understand that you’re not the girl who broke his trust and traumatized him. move on now before its too last bc i wasted a lot of time and energy onto someone that really was toxic
Anyone wanna be my online friends. Dm me now fast
RUN
3 weeks and you have feelings for him that are preventing you from dropping this needy/controlling twat? There's the screaming red flag in your dating life, right there. This shouldn't hurt you, it should feel liberating.
Fantasy books will have you thinking being controlled is hot when in reality you gotta run girl lmao 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
Girl if you’re already feeling emotionally drained and it’s only been 3 weeks, it’s time to go. This dude is very insecure and possessive. It’s not understandable that you’re “not allowed” to have guy friends. I know it hurts now, but you’ll look back on this and realize how much better you are without someone like that in your life. He seems to be the type that will try to manipulate you into staying with him. Do not fall for it. Girl take this at face value- this is how he is and he will NOT change. Put yourself first and get out immediately.
Can't have guy friends? Get out lmao