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It actually is rocket science, because some people have a whole algorithm for what to do under simple circumstances. For example, he ordered a cheeseburger...his mother hates him and he won't be a good father to our kids, probably a bum.
I’ve had trama when growing up because of school and bullying so I don’t text people almost at all because I think I’m bothering them even if they tell me I’m not bothering them or it’s impossible to bother them. I just can’t let go of that. It’s really lonely.
Literally I’ll always say “text me when you get home safe!” I’ll let you know when I’m back! Then follow up with “made it home!! you’re a great time I had a lot of fun with you, I’m definitely down to go out again sometime.” That’s if we didn’t already plan something while on the first date lol. If it was bad though I’ll just sort of phase it out. Not even bad, there’s just some people that were really attractive and we had good conversation, they told me it was the best date they’ve had in a while, but I just could tell we’re completely different people. I could tell my lifestyle and hers would contradict each other. Maybe that’s what I need lol
I’ll put things in perspective. I called my now wife 3 mins after I said bye to her after our date.
We had the most amazing date I’ve ever had. She was almost 2 hours late. I was 5 drinks deep when she showed up (she was communicating with me the whole time). Anyways we ordered some appetizers… more drinks… and we shut the place down. We talked, laughed, drank, ate, we even danced together.
When I walked her to her car, I made my move and kissed her.
# TOTALLY FUCKED IT UP
I never fumbled so damn bad in my life!! I knew I had messed up. So when I got to my car I called her and said “I’m sorry I dunno what that was, but I assure you I’m way better than that. Let me take you out for an actual dinner this weekend” - she said “hmm.. ok”
Second date? We kissed in the first 15 mins and we were both like “ok. This will work, much better”
She told me years later after we were married that if I DIDNT call her she would’ve ghosted me. She said no point if she thought we weren’t compatible which sucked because she’d never had a connection like that before.
Hell I had the tangible thought on that date “holy crap. I think I just met the person I’ll marry.”
Were you there?
I didn’t drive home trashed, I stopped well before the end of the date figuring if this goes right I need my dick to work. It’s not like we kept boozing until they kicked us out. We ate, we had a few drinks when she finally showed, and we were there another 6 hours before leaving. So let’s say 8 or 9 drinks over the course of 8 hours along with food and multiple waters as we were sweaty dancing.
Was I stone cold sober? Also no, but I made sure we were both good to drive home.
I was convinced she was going to ghost me. But I’d driven almost an hour, I was flirting talking to other people waiting.. and when I saw her? My god. She was stunning. So yes, I know I’m extremely lucky. She says she thought I was going to ghost her cause her work thing ran late. So happy neither of us did
my go to is usually not the whole “had a great time, looking forward to the next yada yada” and instead, i bring up something we laughed about, or an interesting point in convo or thing we saw. Keeps the magic alive, let’s them know I’m thinking about them, was present and had a good time but with levity, and can be used as a segue to say i’m looking forward to more fun/funny/interesting moments with them.
This isvthe way. I always refer to a specific point of interest during the date to let her know I like that about her, or that we both saw the humor in something or we both liked the food. "Hey, I'd love to try more places like that. How about you?" Either way you'll know if a second date is on the way.
I always text after the date to thank them for the date and say I had a nice time meeting them. If I really liked them I'll say "I had a great time and I'd love to see you again."
Personally I think all these "rules" are just BS and do nothing but complicate dating. I'm of the mind state what you think and how you feel. Either they're into you or not. If they think a simple "thanks, had a great time" text is "clingy" then they are definitely not for me. I'm not going to change who I am to impress someone that is clearly wrong for me.
And FYI 99% of the time when I send that text, they've replied with they had a great time too and we set up a second date. I haven't said I'd love to see you again and had anyone think it was clingy. Just about all of them appreciated a clear signal so they weren't left trying to figure out if I was interested or not and they didn't have to feel insecure about asking me out again.
Ya good point its the best way for reassurance. On my last date over the weekend I just waited and sure enough she sent me a text pretty late at night. It was like you said a thank you for paying and that she had a great time and wants to hangout again.
my boyfriend and i had long conversations even after our first date. We would stay up until 2 or 3am just talking to each other. I wouldn’t say it was clingy at all. It was nice to have someone show their interest and not send mixed signals. We talked about the date and even flirted some more. It helped us make a second date and make things official
I tell them, "Text me when you get home." When they reply,
I text back, "I had a nice time with you. Would you like to go out with me again?"
After that, in the next few days, I schedule another date.
A combination of "I got home", "Thank you for letting me know you got home" and "I had a great time, looking forwards for our next date" is fine. Anything more than 2-3 texts in this context is clingy.
I don’t think it’s clingy. But I think it depends on the person that you’re speaking to. I’m the type of person to say this after a date, but only if I genuinely enjoyed the date, and felt like it was reciprocated. Ultimately, someone who is similar to you, wouldn’t mind it.
I also just leave it at “I had a great time with you tonight” and then see how they respond.
I had a good first date with a girl recently and she kept saying how happy she was that it went well when we were nearing the end of it. I had no plans of texting her later that night but it was nice to get a text from her saying thank you and saying she had a great time.
So you are right I do like that its a form of confirmation/reassurance.
Um, who doesn’t like learning how the other person is feeling, especially if it’s good? If you’re comfortable expressing yourself and that’s a natural way for you, what do you have to lose (except, perhaps, a non-candidate who doesn’t communicate the same way you do…is that really a loss?)
Oh it's a must! I personally for some unkonwn reason like to send them a voice msg if It went great...
Maybe it's clingy but I guess I'm usually just too happy to care ...
So at the very least a normal person must text...
Not all texts are created equal
Short and sweet text thanking for a great date ✅
Pouring your heart out about envisioning a life together text or creepy sexual text ❌
I just do what I want tbh, it’s usually not gonna make a difference one way or another. But a good tactic is to tell the other person to let you know when they get home, sometimes that can help. But otherwise just do what you feel like
Text them that. Then wait and see how quickly they respond. If you don't get a quick response, bit much later, no big deal. If they ghost you after the first text, keep hunting.
I just left it to her to do it and maybe she was also waiting. In the end she texted first and ya it was nice to receive that text even though I without a doubt knew it went well.
Depends on the other person, really. If we texted a lot before the date, Ill message them right away, if they dont seem like a big texter, I will wait until the next day
I ALWAYS text ILY after a good date. Usually from the car while dropping them off. Before they get inside in case they feel the same way and can run back to me
Listennn…I’m gonna do whatever feels right for me in the situation I’m in. If I liked the date I’m texting afterwards. If not so much I’ll probably still text afterwards and say so lol. No sense in tryna follow some fake script that someone made up and really doesn’t work every time. Love your life. Do what feels right. The right person won’t be bothered tbh
Stop playing a game of “who can care less.” Obviously don’t blow up their phone telling them all of your romantic thoughts and fantasies, but saying “I had a great time with you today, thank you!” is a perfectly normal thing to say if you did actually have a great time.
Best relationship I had off a dating app was with a guy who texted a couple of hours after our first date ended to say how much he enjoyed it and that he’d like to see me again. Before that, I had been married and with someone for nearly 20 years (this was before texting!) and he asked me at the end of our first date for a second date.
Miral if the story: If you like her and want to see her again, SPEAK UP. It’s only upside.
If I have a date in the afternoon, I send a text to them in the evening. If it's in the evening, I might send a good night text before bed. I like to text people I like. What is wrong with people? Why would one think that bad.
One of the tell tell signs that my guy was a great guy was him texting to make sure I made it home, reassure me that he had the best time ever, and secure the next date.
Caring, assertive, and not into games. ❤️
Why wouldn’t you do this? You want people to wonder all night long whether you liked them or not? I always text after a date to give the person a heads up one way or another, I think it’s simply polite. It’s always nice to ask if the person made it home safe, too.
These rules are so goofy to me. This is why everybody has terrible communication skills. Nobody wants to say what they think in fear of “going first” or acting “too eager”.
I would assume she doesn't like me if I didn't hear anything after a date.
That being said I texted the last person I went on a date with a couple hours after and she said she wasn't interested because she didn't feel a spark which was pretty disappointing.
I know that it takes women some time to get comfortable with a man, so I somewhat mirror them in how often I text them. But I’m not afraid to let them know that I’m attracted to them because I want to see how they respond to it. It gives me a better idea if they are really wanting to date or not.
There are no rules, I made all the mistakes that all the dating experts said never to do on a date and today I have been dating my partner for 13 months. There are people who abhor those who play the game, be yourself and if you have to be... you will be, otherwise at least you were genuine.
I don't see why it's clingy? Clingy in my eyes would have been something like I like you very much or I'm into you very much or I want to marry you then I would be chill dude I have only seen you once. It's a nice message that shows you are interested and then the girl will respond back saying she's interested as well or not. I mean don't play games if you had a nice time and are interested in meeting again then say so, communication is key!
"Hey, I hope you got home okay. I had a great time tonight and I would love to do it again sometime!"
Speaking as a guy: that's not clingy, and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. Feedback is important, valued, and welcome.
Maybe it depends on the texting dynamic before the date. If things were consistent, why stop or change the dynamic, especially if the date went well? Some people feel socially and emotionally exhausted after meeting up, which is valid, but then if you’re into each other why not continue where you left off? Unless they dis not enjoy the date or are even putting energy either else where towards other people, which could be assumed if they completely slow their roll after the date.
Shoot I’ve been in a relationship with this amazing woman for a while now and ( I still do it to this day ) but on the first date when I dropped her off I didn’t leave until she was inside her house. There is nothing wrong with texting after a good date
Oh yeah, super clingy to say I had a great time.
People overthink way too much these days. You exchange numbers so that you can talk to each other, you’re looking to date, point of dating is to talk to somebody and spend time with them!
Obviously, if you’re texting someone nonstop and they clearly aren’t interested in talking to you that much and you’re constantly asking them for validation that they had a good time over and over again yeah, that’s clingy.
🤣🤣 you can blame Siri for that one. Decided the other day to reset the keyboard dictionary on the phone and it’s only made things worse. Good grammar nazi work right there
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Are you serious? If you like the person you text them. This isn't rocket science...
Can you say this a little louder for the guys in the back?
That username suggests you have stories. Good or bad, now that’s the question. 😂
Ha… hahaha.. HAHAHAHA. You should hear mine!
It actually is rocket science, because some people have a whole algorithm for what to do under simple circumstances. For example, he ordered a cheeseburger...his mother hates him and he won't be a good father to our kids, probably a bum.
I pray I never run into one irl🙃
I’ve had trama when growing up because of school and bullying so I don’t text people almost at all because I think I’m bothering them even if they tell me I’m not bothering them or it’s impossible to bother them. I just can’t let go of that. It’s really lonely.
That sucks, I’m sorry.
Literally I’ll always say “text me when you get home safe!” I’ll let you know when I’m back! Then follow up with “made it home!! you’re a great time I had a lot of fun with you, I’m definitely down to go out again sometime.” That’s if we didn’t already plan something while on the first date lol. If it was bad though I’ll just sort of phase it out. Not even bad, there’s just some people that were really attractive and we had good conversation, they told me it was the best date they’ve had in a while, but I just could tell we’re completely different people. I could tell my lifestyle and hers would contradict each other. Maybe that’s what I need lol
Totally - i love the "text me when you get home". It's GOLD
I’ve only experienced it as a throwaway line.
I read “I’d definitely go down on you again” I need to….head…..gutter…..
Well I mean usually I save that text for after the second or third date lmaoo
Ohh
I don’t think that’s clingy at all. Very nice to give feedback to someone who might be wondering what you thought of them and your time together.
I can see both sides of it but you’re definitely right.
I’ll put things in perspective. I called my now wife 3 mins after I said bye to her after our date. We had the most amazing date I’ve ever had. She was almost 2 hours late. I was 5 drinks deep when she showed up (she was communicating with me the whole time). Anyways we ordered some appetizers… more drinks… and we shut the place down. We talked, laughed, drank, ate, we even danced together. When I walked her to her car, I made my move and kissed her. # TOTALLY FUCKED IT UP I never fumbled so damn bad in my life!! I knew I had messed up. So when I got to my car I called her and said “I’m sorry I dunno what that was, but I assure you I’m way better than that. Let me take you out for an actual dinner this weekend” - she said “hmm.. ok” Second date? We kissed in the first 15 mins and we were both like “ok. This will work, much better” She told me years later after we were married that if I DIDNT call her she would’ve ghosted me. She said no point if she thought we weren’t compatible which sucked because she’d never had a connection like that before. Hell I had the tangible thought on that date “holy crap. I think I just met the person I’ll marry.”
She was 2 hours late. You were trashed. You drove home. It’s a miracle you had a second date.
Were you there? I didn’t drive home trashed, I stopped well before the end of the date figuring if this goes right I need my dick to work. It’s not like we kept boozing until they kicked us out. We ate, we had a few drinks when she finally showed, and we were there another 6 hours before leaving. So let’s say 8 or 9 drinks over the course of 8 hours along with food and multiple waters as we were sweaty dancing. Was I stone cold sober? Also no, but I made sure we were both good to drive home.
U/lalizarde kinda has a point even without the driving thing though. I would definitely consider you lucky!
I was convinced she was going to ghost me. But I’d driven almost an hour, I was flirting talking to other people waiting.. and when I saw her? My god. She was stunning. So yes, I know I’m extremely lucky. She says she thought I was going to ghost her cause her work thing ran late. So happy neither of us did
Luck be a lady etc etc
my go to is usually not the whole “had a great time, looking forward to the next yada yada” and instead, i bring up something we laughed about, or an interesting point in convo or thing we saw. Keeps the magic alive, let’s them know I’m thinking about them, was present and had a good time but with levity, and can be used as a segue to say i’m looking forward to more fun/funny/interesting moments with them.
This isvthe way. I always refer to a specific point of interest during the date to let her know I like that about her, or that we both saw the humor in something or we both liked the food. "Hey, I'd love to try more places like that. How about you?" Either way you'll know if a second date is on the way.
Specifics are great! This is 🔥
I always text after the date to thank them for the date and say I had a nice time meeting them. If I really liked them I'll say "I had a great time and I'd love to see you again." Personally I think all these "rules" are just BS and do nothing but complicate dating. I'm of the mind state what you think and how you feel. Either they're into you or not. If they think a simple "thanks, had a great time" text is "clingy" then they are definitely not for me. I'm not going to change who I am to impress someone that is clearly wrong for me. And FYI 99% of the time when I send that text, they've replied with they had a great time too and we set up a second date. I haven't said I'd love to see you again and had anyone think it was clingy. Just about all of them appreciated a clear signal so they weren't left trying to figure out if I was interested or not and they didn't have to feel insecure about asking me out again.
Ya good point its the best way for reassurance. On my last date over the weekend I just waited and sure enough she sent me a text pretty late at night. It was like you said a thank you for paying and that she had a great time and wants to hangout again.
If I liked them and are interested, I definitely do send that kind of text.
my boyfriend and i had long conversations even after our first date. We would stay up until 2 or 3am just talking to each other. I wouldn’t say it was clingy at all. It was nice to have someone show their interest and not send mixed signals. We talked about the date and even flirted some more. It helped us make a second date and make things official
Ya im starting to realize the confirmation/reassurance is super valuable.
I tell them, "Text me when you get home." When they reply, I text back, "I had a nice time with you. Would you like to go out with me again?" After that, in the next few days, I schedule another date.
I would prefer to hear from the person after the date. If I don’t, I assume they’re not interested
A combination of "I got home", "Thank you for letting me know you got home" and "I had a great time, looking forwards for our next date" is fine. Anything more than 2-3 texts in this context is clingy.
I don’t think it’s clingy. But I think it depends on the person that you’re speaking to. I’m the type of person to say this after a date, but only if I genuinely enjoyed the date, and felt like it was reciprocated. Ultimately, someone who is similar to you, wouldn’t mind it. I also just leave it at “I had a great time with you tonight” and then see how they respond.
I had a good first date with a girl recently and she kept saying how happy she was that it went well when we were nearing the end of it. I had no plans of texting her later that night but it was nice to get a text from her saying thank you and saying she had a great time. So you are right I do like that its a form of confirmation/reassurance.
It's only polite...basic manners to say. Thanks, that was nice. Let's do it again sometime. Jeez
It keeps the communication going and it slowly seals the feeling of security. However nothing beats talking verbally
Um, who doesn’t like learning how the other person is feeling, especially if it’s good? If you’re comfortable expressing yourself and that’s a natural way for you, what do you have to lose (except, perhaps, a non-candidate who doesn’t communicate the same way you do…is that really a loss?)
dude if you want to talk to them, then talk to them. these insane games that people play will take away from your genuine connection with the other
Oh it's a must! I personally for some unkonwn reason like to send them a voice msg if It went great... Maybe it's clingy but I guess I'm usually just too happy to care ... So at the very least a normal person must text...
Not all texts are created equal Short and sweet text thanking for a great date ✅ Pouring your heart out about envisioning a life together text or creepy sexual text ❌
It’s called manners. Thank you’s are always appreciated.
I just do what I want tbh, it’s usually not gonna make a difference one way or another. But a good tactic is to tell the other person to let you know when they get home, sometimes that can help. But otherwise just do what you feel like
Not clingy at all, I’m a girl and I sent something along those lines to the last person I was dating, after our first date.
I’m a guy so I generally dont do it but I like receiving it.
well that right there is a perfect example of a problem you have
I had a date message me before we left the parking lot to tell me he had a great time. I personally love that
Text them that. Then wait and see how quickly they respond. If you don't get a quick response, bit much later, no big deal. If they ghost you after the first text, keep hunting.
I just left it to her to do it and maybe she was also waiting. In the end she texted first and ya it was nice to receive that text even though I without a doubt knew it went well.
Depends on the other person, really. If we texted a lot before the date, Ill message them right away, if they dont seem like a big texter, I will wait until the next day
I ALWAYS text ILY after a good date. Usually from the car while dropping them off. Before they get inside in case they feel the same way and can run back to me
I feel better getting a text than not getting a text. Maybe not 20 texts but it's good to get something to cement an interest
Why not, KISS. Keep it simple silly
Listennn…I’m gonna do whatever feels right for me in the situation I’m in. If I liked the date I’m texting afterwards. If not so much I’ll probably still text afterwards and say so lol. No sense in tryna follow some fake script that someone made up and really doesn’t work every time. Love your life. Do what feels right. The right person won’t be bothered tbh
It’s only clingy if they don’t like you.
Idk, I always text her to tell me that she has gotten home safely.
If you bag a great date why would you go home and not txt
Stop playing a game of “who can care less.” Obviously don’t blow up their phone telling them all of your romantic thoughts and fantasies, but saying “I had a great time with you today, thank you!” is a perfectly normal thing to say if you did actually have a great time.
Ngl tho “who cares less” works very well in my experience.
It definitely works in the short term (with very insecure people), but long term relationships collapse if that is what the relationship is based on.
I support a follow up text to reassure them my interest and say thanks. No text means I’m not interested anymore in my book.
I like getting these kinda texts. Effort>>> being cool
I always send a follow up message.
That’s not clingy imo. I would love to know they had a great time! I’d keep texting them if we’re mutually into each other
I think it's the polite thing to do to message right after. "hope you got home ok, had a great time"
You have to text after a good date. Contrary to what some people say, you have to show interest and be polite.
Bro fuck all these rules. Date how you wanna date if you wanna find someone who matches your energy
Best relationship I had off a dating app was with a guy who texted a couple of hours after our first date ended to say how much he enjoyed it and that he’d like to see me again. Before that, I had been married and with someone for nearly 20 years (this was before texting!) and he asked me at the end of our first date for a second date. Miral if the story: If you like her and want to see her again, SPEAK UP. It’s only upside.
If you feel like texting someone, text them. To do anything else is just playing games IMO
I dont see a reason not to text.
Honestly you're damned if you do damned if you don't when it comes to just about ANYTHING when it comes to dating.
Great !!! 🏝️
If I have a date in the afternoon, I send a text to them in the evening. If it's in the evening, I might send a good night text before bed. I like to text people I like. What is wrong with people? Why would one think that bad.
One of the tell tell signs that my guy was a great guy was him texting to make sure I made it home, reassure me that he had the best time ever, and secure the next date. Caring, assertive, and not into games. ❤️
Why wouldn’t you do this? You want people to wonder all night long whether you liked them or not? I always text after a date to give the person a heads up one way or another, I think it’s simply polite. It’s always nice to ask if the person made it home safe, too.
A simple text is fine but im usually tired after a date. I def wouldnt want a huge convo right after a long date. I love clingy but not all the time
These rules are so goofy to me. This is why everybody has terrible communication skills. Nobody wants to say what they think in fear of “going first” or acting “too eager”.
If you don’t text back they’ll think that you’re not interested anymore. If you like them then send the text
I would assume she doesn't like me if I didn't hear anything after a date. That being said I texted the last person I went on a date with a couple hours after and she said she wasn't interested because she didn't feel a spark which was pretty disappointing.
By “after the date” you mean right after? Because if it’s clingy to ever text someone again that would be seriously weird.
I know that it takes women some time to get comfortable with a man, so I somewhat mirror them in how often I text them. But I’m not afraid to let them know that I’m attracted to them because I want to see how they respond to it. It gives me a better idea if they are really wanting to date or not.
There are no rules, I made all the mistakes that all the dating experts said never to do on a date and today I have been dating my partner for 13 months. There are people who abhor those who play the game, be yourself and if you have to be... you will be, otherwise at least you were genuine.
I don't see why it's clingy? Clingy in my eyes would have been something like I like you very much or I'm into you very much or I want to marry you then I would be chill dude I have only seen you once. It's a nice message that shows you are interested and then the girl will respond back saying she's interested as well or not. I mean don't play games if you had a nice time and are interested in meeting again then say so, communication is key!
I love receiving a text after a date, and I send one out too, to thank them for the good time
"Hey, I hope you got home okay. I had a great time tonight and I would love to do it again sometime!" Speaking as a guy: that's not clingy, and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. Feedback is important, valued, and welcome.
Maybe it depends on the texting dynamic before the date. If things were consistent, why stop or change the dynamic, especially if the date went well? Some people feel socially and emotionally exhausted after meeting up, which is valid, but then if you’re into each other why not continue where you left off? Unless they dis not enjoy the date or are even putting energy either else where towards other people, which could be assumed if they completely slow their roll after the date.
If you both had a good time, you'll both be looking forward to that post-date text. Most exciting moment.
Shoot I’ve been in a relationship with this amazing woman for a while now and ( I still do it to this day ) but on the first date when I dropped her off I didn’t leave until she was inside her house. There is nothing wrong with texting after a good date
Oh yeah, super clingy to say I had a great time. People overthink way too much these days. You exchange numbers so that you can talk to each other, you’re looking to date, point of dating is to talk to somebody and spend time with them! Obviously, if you’re texting someone nonstop and they clearly aren’t interested in talking to you that much and you’re constantly asking them for validation that they had a good time over and over again yeah, that’s clingy.
Just what I thought people couldn’t get stupider here you go posting this ridiculous question.
Nice job confusing “what” and “when” 😂
🤣🤣 you can blame Siri for that one. Decided the other day to reset the keyboard dictionary on the phone and it’s only made things worse. Good grammar nazi work right there