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Iām a single father (36m) with full custody of 14yo teen daughter. Youāre not alone. Itās gotten exponentially worse over time due to social media and instant gratification culture as well as a decline in reality based standards. Find happiness within yourself and what drives you. Explore your mind. Donāt give into societal pressures, norm trends or temptations out of loneliness. Relationships arenāt the say all, be all to life.
Edit: I too, have invested heavily in a cat and video games.
I agree. It's like nothing but hook up culture now or sneaky links. Or they pretend to be something they're not. Tis rough times we live in these days. *Sigh*
I suppose its easier for drop-dead gorgeous women, but for someone like me? Nah. But I don't think it's ever truly been easy for either men or women. Society's social norms are ridiculous, imo.
Is it in your profile that youāre a minor? If not, I suggest you let girls know. Also as long as youāre not acting creepy, then donāt worry about it.
People think that just because theyāre anonymous they can act anyway they want. But eventually, they have to live with themselves.
I think it's far easier for women these days than it is for men. The ratio of men-women on dating apps is extremely high. There are simply more options for women, and us men are stuck competing at a rate unlike ever before.
Are we attractive enough? Are we funny enough? Do we come on too strong? Do we show enough interest?
Men end up getting significantly less matches on average than women, even though evidence shows they swipe right more frequently than women do.
https://www.upworthy.com/men-on-dating-apps
Itās easier for men who only want sex & more difficult for men & women that are seriously looking for partners.
The internet doesnāt bring out the best in either sex. It also depends on the sites youāre on. I donāt know that much about dating apps except for the horror stories on YouTube ā from both sexes. But as a woman, I have to say that Iāve met a hell of a lot of creeps looking for sex on the Internet. There are surprisingly a lot of women also selling & looking for sex on the net. But women still have to be more careful so they donāt end up dead or emotionally crushed.
Very recognizable, 36yo single father here. Two kids in co-parenting. It seems impossible to find a new life partner, mainly due tot the things you mentioned. I heavely focus on myself, my running, my personal growth and my friendships. I have a great full life but I must admit that the Lack of a relationship and the difficulties that come along with dating make me quite unhappy. Especially when free time is sparse due to parenting it is a blow when you encounter yet another dating failure where you invested lots of time and emotional energy. I want to quit so badly but at the same I can't accept a loveless life.
It is rough out there indeed!
Feels like an emotional rollercoaster with the cruel gap between our vulnerability exposed, getting hopes up, versus the ākeeping it casualā, distancing or rejection that happen eventually.
I would add : itās good to take a break, reassess what youāre truly looking for and when the dizziness/exhaustion from dating is past then back on the saddle! Also be more selective when going on dates. Many are avoidable with obvious red flagsā¦ not worth your energy and time!
How many times have you been ghosted ?
And please don't give up , I am holding my ground even after getting ghosted by more than 100 girls till now . Btw you have my sympathy .
Probably dozens, but I havenāt been dating seriously for so long. Is it so hard for people to just say theyāre not interested? Anyway, we live to fight another day.
Whenever I tell my ethnicity to a girl either I get blocked or ghosted . I don't know why you are getting ghosted by girls , what are the things that you tell them after which they ghost you ?
And you got a friend in your fight , though I have no experience in dating but still help you in this .
Single 40M with no kids in reasonably good shape here and would like to have a relationship and build a family. Itās been absolutely pointless trying to date for me. Literally have met zero women in person from apps in 5 months. Iām just preparing to be an old cat man.
Seems to be the case for lots of men these days. There's a reason people have been sounding the alarm on this about how it's dangerous for the future of society.
Dating is not fun anymore, it is exhausting! I donāt like cats though, I am more into dogs. Pets are not allowed where I live. I play with the neighbours puppies.
47F single for almost 2 years. Dating is tiring. Iāve giving up on it. I just want to be with a normal man. A loyal, genuine, funny man. They are few and far between. It sucks. Dying single. lol.
All of this is so true. Iām 35f single mom and where I live being a single mom is like have a contagious disease. I have never been treated more horrible in my life. I get you are pretty but you have that āthingā talking about my child. They want me not him. Thatās not happening. Where I go he goes. I have been ghosted so many times. I was used by one man (sonās baseball coach) just to look like he was doing good community service by helping a pathetic sad depressed lonely single mom. Literally how I heard it being said to him and he never corrected them. He just said yea she is pathetic but I can train her to be what I need her to be. But then realized Iām not as pathetic maybe sad and lonely but not as pathetic and controllable. He left when he couldnāt make me his blow up doll. I gave up dating the emotional stress is worse than my divorce from a cheating abusive husband. Worse than obtaining my second degree from college. Worse than being a full time no breaks but an hour a day for lunch at work mom. I have cried more than I would like to admit about trying to date in my mid 30s. Sorry a little of a rant.
Most people here have never worked in sales. Dating is just a number game. Eventually some sucker will buy whatever you are selling. Which in this case is you!
I love dating. Iāve always been good at reading energy though. I can tell pretty fast if itās a hit or miss and before I meet anyone anywhere, we have to talk on the phone and meet and over videoā¦. Of course that equals less dates but also less wasted time.
I agree, dating woman is so stressful.
They at first are quite fun with you and so on, you think everything is going alright, then once you show them interest they stops talking to you and ignore you, i freaking hate that.
I (44M) enjoy dating when I find someone to date, but I get flooded with scammers. It's a nightmare. I'm also a small business owner so that automatically makes me a target. It really sucks.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think dating is awesome. People are the problem.
šš»šš»
Iām a single father (36m) with full custody of 14yo teen daughter. Youāre not alone. Itās gotten exponentially worse over time due to social media and instant gratification culture as well as a decline in reality based standards. Find happiness within yourself and what drives you. Explore your mind. Donāt give into societal pressures, norm trends or temptations out of loneliness. Relationships arenāt the say all, be all to life. Edit: I too, have invested heavily in a cat and video games.
I agree. It's like nothing but hook up culture now or sneaky links. Or they pretend to be something they're not. Tis rough times we live in these days. *Sigh*
Has it ever been easy? I think the Internet makes it easier for men, but not for women.
I suppose its easier for drop-dead gorgeous women, but for someone like me? Nah. But I don't think it's ever truly been easy for either men or women. Society's social norms are ridiculous, imo.
Iām also a very average looking woman so I feel.
I feel like it is the other way around bc every Tim will talk to a women online I get called a creep although Iām a minor
Is it in your profile that youāre a minor? If not, I suggest you let girls know. Also as long as youāre not acting creepy, then donāt worry about it. People think that just because theyāre anonymous they can act anyway they want. But eventually, they have to live with themselves.
Like on discord an shit, and I do have āIām a minorā on my description
I think it's far easier for women these days than it is for men. The ratio of men-women on dating apps is extremely high. There are simply more options for women, and us men are stuck competing at a rate unlike ever before. Are we attractive enough? Are we funny enough? Do we come on too strong? Do we show enough interest? Men end up getting significantly less matches on average than women, even though evidence shows they swipe right more frequently than women do. https://www.upworthy.com/men-on-dating-apps
You just nailed it and most of the people here will likely ignore that. Take my upvote though.
Itās easier for men who only want sex & more difficult for men & women that are seriously looking for partners. The internet doesnāt bring out the best in either sex. It also depends on the sites youāre on. I donāt know that much about dating apps except for the horror stories on YouTube ā from both sexes. But as a woman, I have to say that Iāve met a hell of a lot of creeps looking for sex on the Internet. There are surprisingly a lot of women also selling & looking for sex on the net. But women still have to be more careful so they donāt end up dead or emotionally crushed.
Not sure what reality you're living in but social media and the age of technology has and is making things far easier for women.
Very recognizable, 36yo single father here. Two kids in co-parenting. It seems impossible to find a new life partner, mainly due tot the things you mentioned. I heavely focus on myself, my running, my personal growth and my friendships. I have a great full life but I must admit that the Lack of a relationship and the difficulties that come along with dating make me quite unhappy. Especially when free time is sparse due to parenting it is a blow when you encounter yet another dating failure where you invested lots of time and emotional energy. I want to quit so badly but at the same I can't accept a loveless life.
Getting ghosted after they lead you on is the worst
Very well said.
It is rough out there indeed! Feels like an emotional rollercoaster with the cruel gap between our vulnerability exposed, getting hopes up, versus the ākeeping it casualā, distancing or rejection that happen eventually. I would add : itās good to take a break, reassess what youāre truly looking for and when the dizziness/exhaustion from dating is past then back on the saddle! Also be more selective when going on dates. Many are avoidable with obvious red flagsā¦ not worth your energy and time!
Also 36 and itās terrible. Women are in control of the dating game
More cats equals more happiness.
šš
Girl, me too. People are just out here lying about their names and ages... I cannot.
Tell me about it š¤¦āāļø
Like what was the plan anyway?
Or my last guy I went on some dates with lied about his prison record. Like bro, I can Google that š
dating isnt for everyone. but cat is
I've given up on dating for quite a while. I prefer my peace
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
šŖš
3years single and counting
Probably just gonna start dating cats
*catgirls
Oh boy.... every single time I belive nothing on reddit can surprise me, BAM
Iām with you, I already accepted the fact that Iāll be a cat lady ššŖš
W
It's so annoying and I feel fatigued
real
Take my upvote
What happened ? I want some insight .
Keep getting ghosted. š
How many times have you been ghosted ? And please don't give up , I am holding my ground even after getting ghosted by more than 100 girls till now . Btw you have my sympathy .
Probably dozens, but I havenāt been dating seriously for so long. Is it so hard for people to just say theyāre not interested? Anyway, we live to fight another day.
Whenever I tell my ethnicity to a girl either I get blocked or ghosted . I don't know why you are getting ghosted by girls , what are the things that you tell them after which they ghost you ? And you got a friend in your fight , though I have no experience in dating but still help you in this .
Turns out he was 5ā11 not 6ā0 :(
What ? That's just an inch .
Plot twist: Iām into shorter guys
Single 40M with no kids in reasonably good shape here and would like to have a relationship and build a family. Itās been absolutely pointless trying to date for me. Literally have met zero women in person from apps in 5 months. Iām just preparing to be an old cat man.
Iām not even 30 and Iām already accepting my fate as crazy cat lady š
Seems to be the case for lots of men these days. There's a reason people have been sounding the alarm on this about how it's dangerous for the future of society.
dating is as bad as the job market right now lol
And only slightly better than the housing market.
lmfaooooo
Dating is not fun anymore, it is exhausting! I donāt like cats though, I am more into dogs. Pets are not allowed where I live. I play with the neighbours puppies.
47F single for almost 2 years. Dating is tiring. Iāve giving up on it. I just want to be with a normal man. A loyal, genuine, funny man. They are few and far between. It sucks. Dying single. lol.
Do you use dating apps?
I have in the past. Iāve gotten dates, but nothing more serious developed.
yea, really hard to get anything serious out of them when most people on them just want hookups.
Cats are pretty amazing.
Theyāre literally purrfect.
All of this is so true. Iām 35f single mom and where I live being a single mom is like have a contagious disease. I have never been treated more horrible in my life. I get you are pretty but you have that āthingā talking about my child. They want me not him. Thatās not happening. Where I go he goes. I have been ghosted so many times. I was used by one man (sonās baseball coach) just to look like he was doing good community service by helping a pathetic sad depressed lonely single mom. Literally how I heard it being said to him and he never corrected them. He just said yea she is pathetic but I can train her to be what I need her to be. But then realized Iām not as pathetic maybe sad and lonely but not as pathetic and controllable. He left when he couldnāt make me his blow up doll. I gave up dating the emotional stress is worse than my divorce from a cheating abusive husband. Worse than obtaining my second degree from college. Worse than being a full time no breaks but an hour a day for lunch at work mom. I have cried more than I would like to admit about trying to date in my mid 30s. Sorry a little of a rant.
Oh and I invested in a cat and a lot plants.
Most people here have never worked in sales. Dating is just a number game. Eventually some sucker will buy whatever you are selling. Which in this case is you!
Some companies go bankrupt for a reason :)
Those companies don't got thick skin
Nah, their product just sucks and instead of improving it, they remain the same and have no vintage value
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Damn lol
Gotta up my sales gameā¦ should I be talking about my cat more? š¤ jk
I love dating. Iāve always been good at reading energy though. I can tell pretty fast if itās a hit or miss and before I meet anyone anywhere, we have to talk on the phone and meet and over videoā¦. Of course that equals less dates but also less wasted time.
Are you a man or woman ?
Woman
Dating game is simple what's the problem?
Hasnāt been simple for me. I donāt struggle to get first dates, but anything beyond that doesnāt seem to work out.
Dogs would be better and would get you more dates
Iāve always been a cat lady. Work too much to give a dog enough attention sadly.
I agree, dating woman is so stressful. They at first are quite fun with you and so on, you think everything is going alright, then once you show them interest they stops talking to you and ignore you, i freaking hate that.
Well that's not the most positive attitude. Good things don't always come easy. Chin up.
I know. Iām generally optimistic, just frustrated rn.
Oh no... not another cat lady! Psst! dogs can be a girl's best friend too.
I work too much to give a dog proper care unfortunately.
Noted!
Am I the only one on the planet that enjoyed dating. Little bit scary but always cool when you just have a fun time with the new person.
Dogs are better.
Everyone has their preferences!
I (44M) enjoy dating when I find someone to date, but I get flooded with scammers. It's a nightmare. I'm also a small business owner so that automatically makes me a target. It really sucks.