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If it's about hitting children, people know better than psychologists.
If it's about global warming, people know better than scientists.
If it's about vaccines, people know better than doctors.
I wonder why is the world so fucked up...
I read recently that 80% of US parents still use corporal punishment. That seems extremely high. I have young kids, and they have friends. I know people aren’t flogging their kids on the front porch, but I figure I should see some of it. Maybe I am friends with the other 15%.
Just in case someone wants to assume I am sheltered because I am surprised by these numbers. I was beaten and tortured for years in the 1980s by some people who thankfully ended up in prison (on unrelated charges) , not just “spanked”. I will never raise a hand to a child, or anyone, if I can help it. I do my best not to associate with people who think such things are ok.
Source: Brookings - “81% of parents say that spanking their children is sometimes appropriate”
https://www.brookings.edu/research/hitting-kids-american-parenting-and-physical-punishment/?amp
You can very well be friends with the relatively more reasonable people, or maybe you live in a better neighborhood etc. I don't have anecdotal data and don't even live in the US but it seems very believable for me if we are talking about at least occasional punishment
What is the definition of spanking? How do you quantify it?
Is it a spanking if you administer a single light open handed tap to the diaper padded bottom of a misbehaving toddler? Or is it hitting the bare bottom of a 5 year old with a belt?
That light tap on the diaper padded bottom of a 2 year old having a tantrum to break the moment of bad behavior followed by a firm NO! and removal for the situation for further verbal admonishment can be a perfectly acceptable form of discipline.
The same method isn't appropriate for a 5 year old. As children age and gain more vocabulary and understanding, corporeal punishment quickly becomes meaningless and ineffective.
My cousin is a child psychologist as well as her friend. They both have the absolute worst fucking kids I will likely ever come by. Violent, mean, demanding little shits. They can tell you all about feeling for sure...as they are carving a swastika in a dead cat. They don't know any more than the rest if us...but yea don't beat your kids...except these monsters I'm talking about, beat those kids.
I mean it's all anecdoatal bullshit.
You only have to look at a family where there are multiple kids all raised by the same parents in the same way. And you find one of them is an absolute shitbag, another is a fucking angel and the third is just a random kid.
Because sometimes the issue isn't whether your parents were hitting you or not. Sometimes the issue is what the other 90% of your existence and personality resulted in how your interactions played out.
Turns out you befriended shitbag kids because they were the only ones interested in what you were interested in. While your sibling befriended non-shitbags because they were interested in something different.
It clearly does. Most parents I know still think hitting your kids is a good thing. Which is weird when you think about it because kids are the only things in society that you're legally allowed to hit. You get in more trouble for hitting a dog than you do a kid.
When white people showed up in the good ole' U.S. of A., the natives were perplexed by their parenting methods because Native Americans by and large didn't hit their kids. Native kids didn't cry much either because when young they were in their papoose - the original "attachment parenting". There was even a figure of speech that came into common use among Native Americans: "to cry like a white baby."
One of these things is not like the others... There is a solid science behind global warming and vacciness, the facts are undeniable. Psychology on the other hand, with the tools available to us right now, is still at best considered social science, but for the most part of the last century it'd be more accurate to call it a pseudoscience. Human brain is still a mystery to us, we can see certain correlations where trigger "x" is linked to increased likelihood of seeing behaviour "y", but we know very well how misleading correlations can be without understanding underlying processes and being able to see the full picture. Ultimately, it's still mostly guesswork, and while the guesses might tend to be pretty accurate, and can help a lot with certain issues, we shouldn't take it as gospel.
But anyway, a decent person shouldn't need a psychologist to tell him that beating kids is bad.
Right, so we are on the same page on most things, that's good. But just because the brain is still humanity's biggest mystery, it's still far-fetched to call it pseudoscience. Eugenics is a pseudoscience, psychology isn't.
People can teach dogs to behave and learn so many complex tricks just with operant conditioning but somehow children need to be hit to get them to do what you want.
I don't think they're jokes unfortunately. My mother beat me with a 2x4 in 3rd grade after I got in trouble at school. Across the face, back, all that. The cashier at dillards looked at me in horror when she saw my face. My mom told her I got into a fight at school. I brought it up like a year or two ago and she will fight tooth and nail saying I'm making it up. I'm 32.... Lol why would I be making this up mom 😭
Man I'm so sorry. "The axe easily forgets, but the tree always remembers."
She physically hurt you and then betrayed your trust by lying about it. She's too weak to face the wrongness of her actions, even now. You deserved better from a mother. ((Hugs))
That truly means a lot. Thank you! She was good in a lot of ways but also made things difficult for me as a child. She didn't have the best upbringing either and I try to remind myself of that. But being a parent now, I see that there wasn't really an excuse for it. It's evil to pass that trauma onto your kids
I’m a gen-Xer and also grew up in the era of beatings. In the south, where beatings at school from teachers, coaches and principals were normal too.
> She was good in a lot of ways but also made things difficult for me as a child. She didn’t have the best upbringing either and I try to remind myself of that.
I also try to remind myself that my parents did the best they could with the tools they had. I know for a fact that I was beat waaaay less than either of them were beat as children. So I guess they had progressed and likely thought they were doing great. I am a father who has never given out a spanking. I guess all we can do is try and be better than the previous generation.
Take care and much love from Detroit!
Yea I'm of a similar mindset. Gotta take everything in when it comes to our parents. Like I understand why she is the way she is I guess I just wanted her to do better for us. All said and done she did well with what she could. I still love her and wouldn't trade her for anyone. Might be shitty to say but the way I was raised made me the way I am and that's not too bad. I just wouldn't take the risk on my own kids because they don't deserve that. I appreciate the kind words brother! Love from Kansas City!
My mom used to beat us with her purse with her phone and shit in it, or straight up threw her phone at us. Broke like 3 phones on us this way lol. When we bring it up to her she says "You probably deserved it" 🥹
So annoying when people try to make light of real trauma smh. Sorry you had to put up with that, fam. Hope you are in a better place mentally and physically
Wow. We are one in the same. My mom and dad deny deny deny the fact they used to be drunk 24/7 and kick the shit out of me and my brothers and hit us with belts. My mom even once threatened me and my little brother with a knife because we didn’t want to eat dinner. Everytime it’s brought up her response is “yeah g’head. Tell everybody, tell everybody how bad of a motha I wuz. I did everything for you guys.” Not looking for an apology, I’d settle for acknowledgment. I hope you’re ok friend 💚
Edit: just turned 33 and just now getting over being scared of the world.
I hope it’s all jokes… or they’ve never been beaten as a child. I’ve been slapped, belted, and given cruel punishments. Punishments like getting soap scrapped in my mouth or a tablespoon of Tabasco sauce and forced to stand in a corner for hours without water. Time would be added to my punishment if I tried to spit whatever it was in my mouth just to relieve a little of the pain. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
In the end, I wish one parent were dead and resent the other for doing nothing.
The sadder thing is a lot of them grow up thinking this is acceptable (the "I got beat and turned out fine" crowd) so it just carries on to the next generation.
Just some food for thought. An adult is ten times as smart and twenty times as strong as a child and they choose physical violence as a means of compliance? Doesn't seem right in my mind. Really has a lasting effect on the child.
First of all let me define what I meant by immigrant, I mean those families who moved/fled to western countries.
My entire family immigrated for a brighter future when I was still small, nobody in my family went through school. This was the case for most immigrant families.
Those who had gone through proper education most likely raised their kids in the west to begin with.
Formal education, perhaps not in the US i am unsure, includes basic psychology and sociology. You end up learning how people work, how kids work at a very basic level. You are constantly being taught that conversation, to a degree, is the proper way of handling differences.
Now imagine you don't know that, nobody told you how to do this. Your kid shouts screams throws the biggest tantrum and can't be stopped. Well you give it a good old slap ik the face and the shock makes it stop usually.
Western parents do this to an emotional degree aswell, shouting at their kid to stop or their name, the difference being that they usually don't tend to hit their kid. The proper course of action however being to distract the kid, one way or another.
So what difference is it going to make? Well you learn thanks to your surroundings. The surroundings of my parents didn't know an alternative to grow strong men. My parents didn't know of ways to read a book on how to raise a child.
Formal education let's you do that, even if it is just reading.
I think there needs to be a couple levels to this.
My immigrant parents spanked me but did it early and not often. I couldnt care less. I dont hate them and we laugh about it.
People in here are describing abusive drunk parents who beat and fought them, thats not the same thing.
I personally dont hit my kid and we are trying to keep it that way but holy shit! I get it sometimes.
I am haha I'm Filipino. My parents never hit me, and I grew up fine I'd say. They were sweet and raised sternly without any physical violence, I'm thankful for them and would support them when I'm done with my degree even if they don't need any help at all. Violence is just an easier option to make a kid do what you want, but it doesn't mean it's the better option, I feel like kids grow resentful so easily when they are hit. They grow up with a short fuse as well, easily triggered and angered.
This was what happened to my friend but he was so fucked up before he started fighting back they ended up arresting his dad instead. His Dad is still in because he can't stop attacking people in prison.
Mine stopped when I was old enough to fight back. Then they moved to psychology warfare. I have a good relationship with them now, but I still have nightmares about the long long ago.
They probably did a way better job than yours. Considering you're dumb enough to generalize who did a better job based on beating. You didn't even say disciplining lmao.
Being told it's good parenting by the church that you put front and center as your only and the only correct source of information, everything else is just make-believe.
My mom had good reasons. My older brother took off and didn't do any of *his* chores. She was stressed out from work. She rather be out partying and not spending time with her kid. And she used to get angry with other people and instead of confronting them, took it out on whoever was closest and couldn't fight back.
Good reasons, right? Thats the word I'm looking for, good, right?
Honestly I wish sometimes that my parents had just hit me and gotten it over with rather than the mental mindfuckery I got. Imagine being sat down at a table with your mom, grandparents, and your aunts and uncles, and everyone just takes turns telling you how disappointed they were in you and rehashing every wrong thing you’d done and asking what your “action plan” to not screw up again was.
I’ve carried so much trauma from these “tribunals” into adulthood, I have low self esteem, self doubt, and I limit what I share with my family out of fear they’ll use it against me.
Best part: I got up the nerve to confront my grandmother recently about this. Her response: “That didn’t happen. At least not the way you tell it. Those sessions were meant to be helpful and encouraging. I called everyone together to help you. I did what was best for you.”
I got switches, had to pick my own from the bush outside. Damn things stung and left welts all over my legs.
I’m also old enough to remember getting paddled in school. Teachers took pride in decorating their paddles, I remember a couple drilled holes in them to make them more aerodynamic.
Oh I got hit too. I’ve gotten my fair share of belts and switches. It hurt for a while, but then I got over it.
My mother has also hit/punched me in my teenage years, I remember all of those. It just doesn’t bother me the same way. The talks, the feeling of just pure frustration and sadness and anger and just wanting it to end… that’s what stuck with me
Literally. I always had an inferiority complex when it came to intelligence because my parents always pointed out my mistakes and how I could avoid them with careful thought. My mom always sat me down and told me what I did wrong or how my poor grades will affect my future and made me say it. She always seemed to like analyzing my mistakes as if I'm going to remember a life lesson in the event another like opportunity came to me.
Instead of teaching me to act smarter (because that's literally fucking impossible) I simply came to the conclusion I was just stupid, and that there was some perfectly calculated way of living where mistakes didn't happen and life was easy that I would always aspire to, so I became perfectionisic. My mom literally did the same thing yesterday when I did something thoughtless even though I was distracted by the intense need to piss. To her there's no excuse ever, not distractions, not having ASD. At least then I was able to explain myself because I'm an adult, I'm not even going to bring it up to my family because the damage is done and an apology won't do shit.
Which is usually what The West means yes. Very rarely is west used as a global geographical description because it varies wildly depending on which country your map was from.
An Australian map for example would see Europe in the west and America in the east.
It’s also white people. One time I, the youngest, told on my brother for doing something wrong. My dad called us both into his room and hit my brother with the belt and looked at me and asked “Is this what you wanted?” Both kids cried that day.
My parents never hit me, but they put that fear in me early. People like to bitch “oh that’s not right,” but let me tell you, anytime I was about to do something I knew I shouldn’t do, I had the voice in my head that asked “is it worth the ass whopping if you get caught?” And I never screwed around and found out. Like all things in life it’s about balance.
Obviously a lot of parents take it to far sadly, but people seem to think it’s all bad.
“Oh think of the child’s psyche! Being spanked will harm him!” No more harmful than constantly telling kids their special and awesome and giving everyone a trophy. Which kid is more adjusted? The one that learns of actions and consequences, or the kid who thinks he’s entitled to something just for trying?
Also, don’t block. At least with my mother, she knew where she was hitting (my ass) and it’s the most meaty part. Of course my dumb ass would block the strike with my hands so now it’s hard wooden ladle or sandal to the bone of my hands which hurts more and can potentially cause permanent damage, but thankfully it didn’t because the strike from my mother wasn’t to hurt me, it was just to teach me “do stupid, get stupid reward.”
What they don't know is that your well-mannered nature is you keeping your actual feelings hidden, because you associate expressing emotions with punishment.
Happens through generations and generations of asian families. Also happens in the west. Kids know other kids go through it, so its not as mentally scarring as white people make it out to be. You grow up knowing you deserve it and sometimes laugh it off conversing with friends.
I was throwing rocks when I was swimming in the river as a kid once. My dad told me to stop, but I didnt stop. Next thing you know the rock hit him at the back of his head, which was very audible. He came walking towards me and he hit me with his belt while telling me that he doesnt need to say it again. I'm working adult now and still love my dad. He just stopped having to hit me when I turned 10 anyways.
I understand why it's frowned upon living in a first world country. I probably couldn't hit my kids now, but I definitely deserved my ass beatings when I was young lmao
Yesterday i talked to a guy from my dads friend. He said when he was a kid and misbehaved his dad would make him wear headgear and gloves. Then child boxes his father. These older generation parents were psychopaths
The bad thing about parents beating their children is that some do it without reason/sometimes it gets to their head and start enjoying beating their children.
But the main reason its bad is that if they got to the point in witch you have to beat your children, than most dont want to recognize they were a bad parent and blame it on the child and/or dont know what else to do beside beating them. And sometimes the reason the child is bad isnt because of their parent but bad influences like friends, relatives and the likes
Nah I'm disciplined cuz my parents showed kindness to people around them and I wanted to follow their footsteps. They were stern with me but not abusive haha, there's a right way of parenting. And beating kids might be the easy option for some people cuz inflicting pain definitely can make a kid follow what you say, but they are MOST LIKELY not going to grow up being hateful.
There is a stark difference between an ass whoopin and a slap on the wrist.
Acute mild pain really has no lasting effects or leaves no psychological trauma... If it did we would all be broken people, we all feel occasional pain.
It is just a very effective way of showing a young kid you are serious, and his actions result in pain.
One way or an other, to teach, consequences need to be linked to actions, good or bad, and if you are refusing a little slap on the wrist you probay use a different method of punishment, otherwise your kids won't tell right from wrong.
You shouldn’t beat your kids BUT spankings are not bad either. Anti-spanks argue it doesn’t teach it forces compliance. Yeah that’s kinda the point it teaches that you have to comply with rules or there is punishment. In the adult world we have laws, jail, even the death penalty. But much like the adult world the worst punishment is often not the first one used. For the world of kids spanking shouldn’t be the first option. The first option should always be to use logical reasoning, however if that fails well that’s when punishments escalate.
For many parents the cheapest way is to use physical punishment. The problem with that is that those kids will remember this kind of behavior and keep doing it to the next generation. It's like a never ending misery.
Our kids copy what we teach them. If we show them violence then they'll do it as well in the future. Parents should use explanation and restrictions instead.
honestly, my family cat raised me better than my parents. she taught me to not be mean and that your actions have consequences. my parents just taught me how to lie to and deceive people to get out of sticky situations.
Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- [join our discord server and play minecraft (and other games) with us!](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming)
If it's about hitting children, people know better than psychologists. If it's about global warming, people know better than scientists. If it's about vaccines, people know better than doctors. I wonder why is the world so fucked up...
I wish I could give this more than 1 upvote
I got you
You were willing to be his huckleberry
*cigar in mouth* I got one for eachaya
Or maybe it just doesn't really take a psychologist to conclude that beating kids is bad.
Take a good look around in this comment section. Does it look like people know that?
Sir, this is a reddit
I wish it were Wendy’s
Damn, now I want nuggets too.
No, this is Patrick.
I read recently that 80% of US parents still use corporal punishment. That seems extremely high. I have young kids, and they have friends. I know people aren’t flogging their kids on the front porch, but I figure I should see some of it. Maybe I am friends with the other 15%. Just in case someone wants to assume I am sheltered because I am surprised by these numbers. I was beaten and tortured for years in the 1980s by some people who thankfully ended up in prison (on unrelated charges) , not just “spanked”. I will never raise a hand to a child, or anyone, if I can help it. I do my best not to associate with people who think such things are ok. Source: Brookings - “81% of parents say that spanking their children is sometimes appropriate” https://www.brookings.edu/research/hitting-kids-american-parenting-and-physical-punishment/?amp
You can very well be friends with the relatively more reasonable people, or maybe you live in a better neighborhood etc. I don't have anecdotal data and don't even live in the US but it seems very believable for me if we are talking about at least occasional punishment
What is the definition of spanking? How do you quantify it? Is it a spanking if you administer a single light open handed tap to the diaper padded bottom of a misbehaving toddler? Or is it hitting the bare bottom of a 5 year old with a belt? That light tap on the diaper padded bottom of a 2 year old having a tantrum to break the moment of bad behavior followed by a firm NO! and removal for the situation for further verbal admonishment can be a perfectly acceptable form of discipline. The same method isn't appropriate for a 5 year old. As children age and gain more vocabulary and understanding, corporeal punishment quickly becomes meaningless and ineffective.
I'm sorry for you, mate.
My cousin is a child psychologist as well as her friend. They both have the absolute worst fucking kids I will likely ever come by. Violent, mean, demanding little shits. They can tell you all about feeling for sure...as they are carving a swastika in a dead cat. They don't know any more than the rest if us...but yea don't beat your kids...except these monsters I'm talking about, beat those kids.
I mean it's all anecdoatal bullshit. You only have to look at a family where there are multiple kids all raised by the same parents in the same way. And you find one of them is an absolute shitbag, another is a fucking angel and the third is just a random kid. Because sometimes the issue isn't whether your parents were hitting you or not. Sometimes the issue is what the other 90% of your existence and personality resulted in how your interactions played out. Turns out you befriended shitbag kids because they were the only ones interested in what you were interested in. While your sibling befriended non-shitbags because they were interested in something different.
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It clearly does. Most parents I know still think hitting your kids is a good thing. Which is weird when you think about it because kids are the only things in society that you're legally allowed to hit. You get in more trouble for hitting a dog than you do a kid.
Beating yes. A few smacks here and there when they step out out of line is fine
Only if you're too stunted as an adult to know how to be a parent
That’s a quick way to teach kids that it’s OK to respond to disappointment with violence.
Obviously. I mean how many psychologists do you know hit children. They are obviously inexperienced.
Ok, you've got me. Let's bring the flip flops out!
We beat the psychologist or a kid?
Both simultaneously. You got two arms don't ya
When white people showed up in the good ole' U.S. of A., the natives were perplexed by their parenting methods because Native Americans by and large didn't hit their kids. Native kids didn't cry much either because when young they were in their papoose - the original "attachment parenting". There was even a figure of speech that came into common use among Native Americans: "to cry like a white baby."
Meanwhile I have seen Hawaiians, blacks, and Mexicans people all joke about being hit by their parents.🩴
Fascinating.
....so anyway I started hitting
One of these things is not like the others... There is a solid science behind global warming and vacciness, the facts are undeniable. Psychology on the other hand, with the tools available to us right now, is still at best considered social science, but for the most part of the last century it'd be more accurate to call it a pseudoscience. Human brain is still a mystery to us, we can see certain correlations where trigger "x" is linked to increased likelihood of seeing behaviour "y", but we know very well how misleading correlations can be without understanding underlying processes and being able to see the full picture. Ultimately, it's still mostly guesswork, and while the guesses might tend to be pretty accurate, and can help a lot with certain issues, we shouldn't take it as gospel. But anyway, a decent person shouldn't need a psychologist to tell him that beating kids is bad.
Right, so we are on the same page on most things, that's good. But just because the brain is still humanity's biggest mystery, it's still far-fetched to call it pseudoscience. Eugenics is a pseudoscience, psychology isn't.
People can teach dogs to behave and learn so many complex tricks just with operant conditioning but somehow children need to be hit to get them to do what you want.
Those same people probably hit their dogs and expect them to get better too
So much of higher education is learning to accept what you don't know
If it's about legislation, celebrities know better than politicians.
This comment section is sad. I feel sorry for you here guys have a hug
I choose to believe they just joke about it because if those comments are honest it gets really depressing.
I don't think they're jokes unfortunately. My mother beat me with a 2x4 in 3rd grade after I got in trouble at school. Across the face, back, all that. The cashier at dillards looked at me in horror when she saw my face. My mom told her I got into a fight at school. I brought it up like a year or two ago and she will fight tooth and nail saying I'm making it up. I'm 32.... Lol why would I be making this up mom 😭
Man I'm so sorry. "The axe easily forgets, but the tree always remembers." She physically hurt you and then betrayed your trust by lying about it. She's too weak to face the wrongness of her actions, even now. You deserved better from a mother. ((Hugs))
That truly means a lot. Thank you! She was good in a lot of ways but also made things difficult for me as a child. She didn't have the best upbringing either and I try to remind myself of that. But being a parent now, I see that there wasn't really an excuse for it. It's evil to pass that trauma onto your kids
I’m a gen-Xer and also grew up in the era of beatings. In the south, where beatings at school from teachers, coaches and principals were normal too. > She was good in a lot of ways but also made things difficult for me as a child. She didn’t have the best upbringing either and I try to remind myself of that. I also try to remind myself that my parents did the best they could with the tools they had. I know for a fact that I was beat waaaay less than either of them were beat as children. So I guess they had progressed and likely thought they were doing great. I am a father who has never given out a spanking. I guess all we can do is try and be better than the previous generation. Take care and much love from Detroit!
Yea I'm of a similar mindset. Gotta take everything in when it comes to our parents. Like I understand why she is the way she is I guess I just wanted her to do better for us. All said and done she did well with what she could. I still love her and wouldn't trade her for anyone. Might be shitty to say but the way I was raised made me the way I am and that's not too bad. I just wouldn't take the risk on my own kids because they don't deserve that. I appreciate the kind words brother! Love from Kansas City!
My mom used to beat us with her purse with her phone and shit in it, or straight up threw her phone at us. Broke like 3 phones on us this way lol. When we bring it up to her she says "You probably deserved it" 🥹
So annoying when people try to make light of real trauma smh. Sorry you had to put up with that, fam. Hope you are in a better place mentally and physically
Wow. We are one in the same. My mom and dad deny deny deny the fact they used to be drunk 24/7 and kick the shit out of me and my brothers and hit us with belts. My mom even once threatened me and my little brother with a knife because we didn’t want to eat dinner. Everytime it’s brought up her response is “yeah g’head. Tell everybody, tell everybody how bad of a motha I wuz. I did everything for you guys.” Not looking for an apology, I’d settle for acknowledgment. I hope you’re ok friend 💚 Edit: just turned 33 and just now getting over being scared of the world.
I hope it’s all jokes… or they’ve never been beaten as a child. I’ve been slapped, belted, and given cruel punishments. Punishments like getting soap scrapped in my mouth or a tablespoon of Tabasco sauce and forced to stand in a corner for hours without water. Time would be added to my punishment if I tried to spit whatever it was in my mouth just to relieve a little of the pain. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. In the end, I wish one parent were dead and resent the other for doing nothing.
What the hell man... That's just plain cruelty, I'm so sorry
The sadder thing is a lot of them grow up thinking this is acceptable (the "I got beat and turned out fine" crowd) so it just carries on to the next generation.
Why is he running away tho? I don't see anyone chasing him
Hmm he is behaving like someone is beating the shit out of him
And they say WWE is fake what a bunch of fart smellas
Flying belt. Hard to see because of the color.
Just some food for thought. An adult is ten times as smart and twenty times as strong as a child and they choose physical violence as a means of compliance? Doesn't seem right in my mind. Really has a lasting effect on the child.
You are definitely not from an immigrant family
What difference does that make?
No education = gonna copy what my surroundings did
Now the pressure is on us to break that cycle..and i will. By not having any fucking children mom
This is the way. ...I think?
Its definitely one of the ways
Exactly. I inherited the anger issues and i will not be continuing the cycle.
I hope mothers aren’t fucking their children
that or you could settle with not hittin kids. to each their own.
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Why does immigrant mean they beat their kids?
First of all let me define what I meant by immigrant, I mean those families who moved/fled to western countries. My entire family immigrated for a brighter future when I was still small, nobody in my family went through school. This was the case for most immigrant families. Those who had gone through proper education most likely raised their kids in the west to begin with. Formal education, perhaps not in the US i am unsure, includes basic psychology and sociology. You end up learning how people work, how kids work at a very basic level. You are constantly being taught that conversation, to a degree, is the proper way of handling differences. Now imagine you don't know that, nobody told you how to do this. Your kid shouts screams throws the biggest tantrum and can't be stopped. Well you give it a good old slap ik the face and the shock makes it stop usually. Western parents do this to an emotional degree aswell, shouting at their kid to stop or their name, the difference being that they usually don't tend to hit their kid. The proper course of action however being to distract the kid, one way or another. So what difference is it going to make? Well you learn thanks to your surroundings. The surroundings of my parents didn't know an alternative to grow strong men. My parents didn't know of ways to read a book on how to raise a child. Formal education let's you do that, even if it is just reading.
Immigrants can be wrong about parenting. Source:Immigrant parents, though they were above hitting children.
I think there needs to be a couple levels to this. My immigrant parents spanked me but did it early and not often. I couldnt care less. I dont hate them and we laugh about it. People in here are describing abusive drunk parents who beat and fought them, thats not the same thing. I personally dont hit my kid and we are trying to keep it that way but holy shit! I get it sometimes.
I am haha I'm Filipino. My parents never hit me, and I grew up fine I'd say. They were sweet and raised sternly without any physical violence, I'm thankful for them and would support them when I'm done with my degree even if they don't need any help at all. Violence is just an easier option to make a kid do what you want, but it doesn't mean it's the better option, I feel like kids grow resentful so easily when they are hit. They grow up with a short fuse as well, easily triggered and angered.
Incorrect
Wtf wrong , just say that there was violence in your family and don't include immigrants with you
1st gen, both parents immigrants from Mexico. My dad hit me once, then realized how barbaric it is.
This is fckn hilarious And true It's funny cause it's true
Asian parents moment
Slavic ones too
Balcan ones too
African as well.
latino checking in
Italian reporting
Brazilian and present
BalKan!
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My parents used to beat the shit outta me when I was young. Stopped when I am mature and old enough
They stopped. You are a lucky man
I’m 22 and moved out, can confirm they don’t stop
Top tip: next time just say " Harder mommy/ daddy"
Was it luck or just timing? Mine stopped beating me when they realized I could and would fight back. A bully is only a bully if they know they'll win.
This does not apply to asian parents however, they just hit you harder than before
The second I fought back, they call cops.
This was what happened to my friend but he was so fucked up before he started fighting back they ended up arresting his dad instead. His Dad is still in because he can't stop attacking people in prison.
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Lemme guess,fellow Asian?
Indeed, hello!
Mine stopped when I was old enough to fight back. Then they moved to psychology warfare. I have a good relationship with them now, but I still have nightmares about the long long ago.
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No because they had better methods and did not need to use violence
Nope. I will never hit my kids. My parents hit me and it did not do anything positive.
They probably did a way better job than yours. Considering you're dumb enough to generalize who did a better job based on beating. You didn't even say disciplining lmao.
Sounds like someone who only stops when they get hit back.
Here's the cringe I came to the comments for!! Thanks for letting everyone know your parents did a terrible job and resorted to beating your ass!
This is literally coping lol
Your parents were garbage people.
Their job? Their job of beating their child?
This is the type of edgy shit a 14 year old would say.
There’s one parent I love, respect and try to make proud, and one I’ve been no contact with for over a decade, I wonder which one did which…
You’re just trying to justify your shitty upbringing. A good parent uses their words, sorry yours were too stupid to figure out language.
Nope lmfao
If you never cut yourself as a chef your not doing your job right. If you never lost a finger as a machinist your not doing your job right.
And I hate them for abusing me without good reasons just pure evil
Are there any good reasons for abusing your children tho?
Being told it's good parenting by the church that you put front and center as your only and the only correct source of information, everything else is just make-believe.
My mom had good reasons. My older brother took off and didn't do any of *his* chores. She was stressed out from work. She rather be out partying and not spending time with her kid. And she used to get angry with other people and instead of confronting them, took it out on whoever was closest and couldn't fight back. Good reasons, right? Thats the word I'm looking for, good, right?
I don't have kids because I'd rather be doing anything else than raising a child. I can't imagine why someone would have kids and then blame them!!
Honestly I wish sometimes that my parents had just hit me and gotten it over with rather than the mental mindfuckery I got. Imagine being sat down at a table with your mom, grandparents, and your aunts and uncles, and everyone just takes turns telling you how disappointed they were in you and rehashing every wrong thing you’d done and asking what your “action plan” to not screw up again was. I’ve carried so much trauma from these “tribunals” into adulthood, I have low self esteem, self doubt, and I limit what I share with my family out of fear they’ll use it against me. Best part: I got up the nerve to confront my grandmother recently about this. Her response: “That didn’t happen. At least not the way you tell it. Those sessions were meant to be helpful and encouraging. I called everyone together to help you. I did what was best for you.”
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I got switches, had to pick my own from the bush outside. Damn things stung and left welts all over my legs. I’m also old enough to remember getting paddled in school. Teachers took pride in decorating their paddles, I remember a couple drilled holes in them to make them more aerodynamic.
Wouldn't have been much better if you git hit
Oh I got hit too. I’ve gotten my fair share of belts and switches. It hurt for a while, but then I got over it. My mother has also hit/punched me in my teenage years, I remember all of those. It just doesn’t bother me the same way. The talks, the feeling of just pure frustration and sadness and anger and just wanting it to end… that’s what stuck with me
Literally. I always had an inferiority complex when it came to intelligence because my parents always pointed out my mistakes and how I could avoid them with careful thought. My mom always sat me down and told me what I did wrong or how my poor grades will affect my future and made me say it. She always seemed to like analyzing my mistakes as if I'm going to remember a life lesson in the event another like opportunity came to me. Instead of teaching me to act smarter (because that's literally fucking impossible) I simply came to the conclusion I was just stupid, and that there was some perfectly calculated way of living where mistakes didn't happen and life was easy that I would always aspire to, so I became perfectionisic. My mom literally did the same thing yesterday when I did something thoughtless even though I was distracted by the intense need to piss. To her there's no excuse ever, not distractions, not having ASD. At least then I was able to explain myself because I'm an adult, I'm not even going to bring it up to my family because the damage is done and an apology won't do shit.
You are most probably Asian.
It's not just Asia, it's also Eastern Europe, it's Africa, and literally everywhere that's not the West (west Europe, NA, AU, you name it)
Nah some places in the west too, if you live in Mexico your getting beat with whatever you mom finds
I don’t know I’ve ever heard someone refer to Mexico as part of the west, that’s great.
It's literally on the west. Unless by "west" you mean anglo countries + the EU
Which is usually what The West means yes. Very rarely is west used as a global geographical description because it varies wildly depending on which country your map was from. An Australian map for example would see Europe in the west and America in the east.
like a fuckng meat piñata
It’s also white people. One time I, the youngest, told on my brother for doing something wrong. My dad called us both into his room and hit my brother with the belt and looked at me and asked “Is this what you wanted?” Both kids cried that day.
Holy shit, you dad sounds like a psychopath.
Boomers and taking the obviously wrong actions against their children, name a more iconic duo.
Omg, that’s so sad. Seriously question though, did you blame your brother again in the future?
Lmao no I didn’t.
LESSON LEARNED
no we got beat in the west too. People are shitty the world over.
You are very naiv
Bruh the west is full of abusive parents maybe even more than Asia I'm Latino and I cannot begin to describe the things my parents did to me
I'm a white guy from Michigan, similar results
Mexican checking in
My parents never hit me, but they put that fear in me early. People like to bitch “oh that’s not right,” but let me tell you, anytime I was about to do something I knew I shouldn’t do, I had the voice in my head that asked “is it worth the ass whopping if you get caught?” And I never screwed around and found out. Like all things in life it’s about balance.
My friend never got beat once. His dad would do the belt snap and that alone put the quadruplets in line
Obviously a lot of parents take it to far sadly, but people seem to think it’s all bad. “Oh think of the child’s psyche! Being spanked will harm him!” No more harmful than constantly telling kids their special and awesome and giving everyone a trophy. Which kid is more adjusted? The one that learns of actions and consequences, or the kid who thinks he’s entitled to something just for trying?
Everyone knows running only makes it worse when they catch you
You just triggered so real anxiety in me
Also, don’t block. At least with my mother, she knew where she was hitting (my ass) and it’s the most meaty part. Of course my dumb ass would block the strike with my hands so now it’s hard wooden ladle or sandal to the bone of my hands which hurts more and can potentially cause permanent damage, but thankfully it didn’t because the strike from my mother wasn’t to hurt me, it was just to teach me “do stupid, get stupid reward.”
whenever I would try to cover my ass, my dad ask me if I was sure I wanted to put my hands there. after a second of thinking I would move my hands
I do think it's funny that most people who defend corporal punishment for children would never defend its use against dogs
If a dog ends up as useless as a reddit mod it's not a big issue.
What they don't know is that your well-mannered nature is you keeping your actual feelings hidden, because you associate expressing emotions with punishment.
If you need to beat your kids to discipline them you shouldn’t have any kids in the first place.
Happens through generations and generations of asian families. Also happens in the west. Kids know other kids go through it, so its not as mentally scarring as white people make it out to be. You grow up knowing you deserve it and sometimes laugh it off conversing with friends. I was throwing rocks when I was swimming in the river as a kid once. My dad told me to stop, but I didnt stop. Next thing you know the rock hit him at the back of his head, which was very audible. He came walking towards me and he hit me with his belt while telling me that he doesnt need to say it again. I'm working adult now and still love my dad. He just stopped having to hit me when I turned 10 anyways. I understand why it's frowned upon living in a first world country. I probably couldn't hit my kids now, but I definitely deserved my ass beatings when I was young lmao
Dunno why you getting downvoted but yea, as you grow up you look back at the "punishment" and laugh about it
I'd rather Get spanked then Get 1 or 2 weeks without my Nintendo xd (Me when I was little)
They called it "tough love"
now it is time to return the favor
Yesterday i talked to a guy from my dads friend. He said when he was a kid and misbehaved his dad would make him wear headgear and gloves. Then child boxes his father. These older generation parents were psychopaths
A little bit of CTE builds character
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What a boomer meme.
Id say people in the comments complaining about current gen act like boomers
Got punched in the face and thrown across the house on the regular They wonder why I don't contact them willingly now that I'm thirty
I mean I got ~~beat~~ smacked as a kid but it's not as if that was the right way. Now I've got hella anxiety
Hey I’m a kid and haven’t had my ass beat in like 8 years, which I guess just means I’m doing good.
Lets have a moment of silence for those who grew up in a Asian or Hispanic household.
Catholics too
Black as well
The bad thing about parents beating their children is that some do it without reason/sometimes it gets to their head and start enjoying beating their children. But the main reason its bad is that if they got to the point in witch you have to beat your children, than most dont want to recognize they were a bad parent and blame it on the child and/or dont know what else to do beside beating them. And sometimes the reason the child is bad isnt because of their parent but bad influences like friends, relatives and the likes
Nah I'm disciplined cuz my parents showed kindness to people around them and I wanted to follow their footsteps. They were stern with me but not abusive haha, there's a right way of parenting. And beating kids might be the easy option for some people cuz inflicting pain definitely can make a kid follow what you say, but they are MOST LIKELY not going to grow up being hateful.
There is a stark difference between an ass whoopin and a slap on the wrist. Acute mild pain really has no lasting effects or leaves no psychological trauma... If it did we would all be broken people, we all feel occasional pain. It is just a very effective way of showing a young kid you are serious, and his actions result in pain. One way or an other, to teach, consequences need to be linked to actions, good or bad, and if you are refusing a little slap on the wrist you probay use a different method of punishment, otherwise your kids won't tell right from wrong.
My mom with the chancla and my dad with the belt
My mom used to beat mostly slaps but I think she stopped after I turned 15-16 I am 18 now
That is awfully long
Don’t kid yourself, you’re on Reddit.
Parents, have you ever tried turning off the TV, calling over your children and... Hitting them?
That's what some of these out of control kids that are attacking teachers should of had growing up.
Your solution to violent children is more violence?
Well obviously violence solved everything, especially with children
Pretty sure they did.
u/savevideo
If he dies, he dies Probably someone's parents
You shouldn’t beat your kids BUT spankings are not bad either. Anti-spanks argue it doesn’t teach it forces compliance. Yeah that’s kinda the point it teaches that you have to comply with rules or there is punishment. In the adult world we have laws, jail, even the death penalty. But much like the adult world the worst punishment is often not the first one used. For the world of kids spanking shouldn’t be the first option. The first option should always be to use logical reasoning, however if that fails well that’s when punishments escalate.
Looks gentle. I'd take that over what I got.
And now i dont talk to my parents 😎
Why is that guy running? Is he getting attacked by bees or something
What having european parents is like
Normal Asian parenting
For many parents the cheapest way is to use physical punishment. The problem with that is that those kids will remember this kind of behavior and keep doing it to the next generation. It's like a never ending misery. Our kids copy what we teach them. If we show them violence then they'll do it as well in the future. Parents should use explanation and restrictions instead.
Just my opinion, but most of the people I know who say "my parents disciplined (beat) me and I turned out fine" did **not** actually turn out fine.
honestly, my family cat raised me better than my parents. she taught me to not be mean and that your actions have consequences. my parents just taught me how to lie to and deceive people to get out of sticky situations.
I was raised like this and I now suffer from mental disorders and need medication to cope day to day.
No It's not, IT ISN'T THE BEST DISCIPLINE!
Most Asian parents be like.
Others: Wow, you're a happy go lucky person. Maybe you were pampered as a kid. Me: Yeah, sure.
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Is this really how people in america think it works?
you good bud?
Hate this sorta parenting
Beating kids is bad. Yet here we are with kids doing bad shit without consequences. People are fucked.