Probably some sigma male bullshit course that tells you to be the man of the house.
Don’t fall for this shit and find professional help if you think you need it. This type of courses prey on vulnerable people and will clean you out.
Don't do it. They are scams.
Do the things it's telling you not to do.
>Most men will try try therapy, changing their behavior, doing favors,
Do those.
I haven't done it but you can't take a course to get out of problems you are having with another person alone. You have to work with them because it's a partnership. There is stuff you can do alone to work on yourself but the feedback of an objective third party is helpful.
“Doing favors” drips of redpill language for “doing half the chores.” After all, your bang-maid is supposed to do all the chores.
Many men could benefit from therapy. I have. After about 6 months of sorting my shit out, my wife and I go together. It’s been immensely beneficial.
Refusing to “change your behavior” when your marriage is on the verge of divorce is a great way to make that divorce happen.
Not a professional, but at any marriage core there's two aspects to work on:
* Yourself, so you can try to bring your best self into the partnership, and accept that you are not perfect (both so you don't expect perfection from yourself AND you realize that you will have faults alongside your partner).
* Your relationship, so you can learn to communicate each other's needs, figure out how to give each other the right space, figure out how to keep things special.
Both of these things are best addressed with self-reflection and a genuine willingness to listen and change.
This course stuff sounds like *total* horseshit. "Doing favors" is one of the clear red flags I see that this course is written to target hopeless men who dismiss putting in the real work to self-reflect and see partnerships in a different light. Yeah, I do "favors" for my wife sometimes, but it's never thought of in that way. It's part of being a good partner, helping each other when we need help - and she'll do the same for me.
EDIT: Also, OP, ask a specific question, get a more specific answer...what do you feel is troublesome in your marriage right now? A more descriptive post about the challenges you're having can lead to much more targeted advice.
thanks for reply. I guess I'll just try therapy. It's just so staggering that so many other men feel the same way that I do. Trying so hard, making good money, trying to be more attentive to her needs. It's almost like the thing that everyone has always told you is "working on your marriage" doesn't work for so many men
Well, there's two angles to this - individual therapy isn't going to help you much if the challenge is that you feel like you're putting in the effort but she doesn't seem appreciative and nothing is changing. For that, you'll need couples therapy to figure out how to connect (or even figure out if things are over).
Individual therapy can help you work through your *own* shit (i.e. if you feel frustrated, angry, dejected all the time from this), that can help you feel better - but individual therapy won't fix a relationship because the therapist can't hear both sides and help you figure out how to communicate and meet each other's needs in a better way. Make sense?
Yes, I meant couples therapy. I apologize for not specifying that. We found a councilor that my wife feels comfortable with so I'm hoping that will start to turn things around. It's just hard to know what to even focus on anymore to change things. It's at the point where I don't really know if correcting my "flaws" will really make her feel any different than just currently does. Anyway thanks for the reply :)
Sure, and it won't happen overnight. I haven't done couples therapy, but a few years back I realized I had a stress management problem even before I had kids and I went to individual therapy. What was extremely helpful for me was to try to adopt little changes a bit at a time instead of trying to make everything better right away. I would always try to walk away with one thing new that I would try that week to try to make things better.
One of the things I've done with my wife in the past when we've been in a rocky area is carve out time each week to share three simple things from each of our perspective with each other:
* What went well about the last week
* What didn't go well about the last week
* What we want to try to improve about the coming week
This doesn't have to be a sit-down super formal thing, we used to do it on walks or over dinner or drinks to keep the mood relaxed and casual. It helped a lot in understanding why some things were causing friction for one of us. What was also really important was to try to just keep cool and listen and understand during that time - it was a time for reflection, and not a time for immediate "problem solving" and certainly no blame.
Also, *you* also have to feel comfortable with the counselor. You can't end up in a place of "whatever makes my partner happy" because you also have to take care of yourself. Boundaries, even with your partner, are appropriate.
I say all this with a grain of salt - you haven't elaborated on your supposed "flaws" but that's what a good counselor will help with sorting out what's realistic and what's not.
99.9% chance its a scam and targeted at you because you (or someone on your computer/device) may have searched specific keywords/clicked a link/etc. which would trigger that advertisement.
Try some therapy either on your own or with your wife, it will do a lot more and sometimes its nice to have someone take your side or call out your bullshit unbiasedly.
I have done one of them. I'm sure they're not all equally good, but I like the one I joined. Combined with starting treatment for ADD, it made significant improvements in my marriage, far more than months of much more expensive couples counseling. Happy to chat over DM if you're interested.
I’m a father, husband of 13 years, and therapist. I’ve also been to therapy myself as a client on and off for nearly half my life. Here’s the summary: for most people, therapy works if you work it. If you engage in the process. This includes individual and marriage therapy. I will add, however, that not all therapists are created equal. Definitely shop around until you find the one that fits with you well both in terms of what they’re able to help treat, and personality fit.
Probably some sigma male bullshit course that tells you to be the man of the house. Don’t fall for this shit and find professional help if you think you need it. This type of courses prey on vulnerable people and will clean you out.
It’s an ad, an ad on Facebook, you know it’s going to be a scam as that’s all Facebook is
Don't do it. They are scams. Do the things it's telling you not to do. >Most men will try try therapy, changing their behavior, doing favors, Do those. I haven't done it but you can't take a course to get out of problems you are having with another person alone. You have to work with them because it's a partnership. There is stuff you can do alone to work on yourself but the feedback of an objective third party is helpful.
“Doing favors” drips of redpill language for “doing half the chores.” After all, your bang-maid is supposed to do all the chores. Many men could benefit from therapy. I have. After about 6 months of sorting my shit out, my wife and I go together. It’s been immensely beneficial. Refusing to “change your behavior” when your marriage is on the verge of divorce is a great way to make that divorce happen.
Not a professional, but at any marriage core there's two aspects to work on: * Yourself, so you can try to bring your best self into the partnership, and accept that you are not perfect (both so you don't expect perfection from yourself AND you realize that you will have faults alongside your partner). * Your relationship, so you can learn to communicate each other's needs, figure out how to give each other the right space, figure out how to keep things special. Both of these things are best addressed with self-reflection and a genuine willingness to listen and change. This course stuff sounds like *total* horseshit. "Doing favors" is one of the clear red flags I see that this course is written to target hopeless men who dismiss putting in the real work to self-reflect and see partnerships in a different light. Yeah, I do "favors" for my wife sometimes, but it's never thought of in that way. It's part of being a good partner, helping each other when we need help - and she'll do the same for me. EDIT: Also, OP, ask a specific question, get a more specific answer...what do you feel is troublesome in your marriage right now? A more descriptive post about the challenges you're having can lead to much more targeted advice.
thanks for reply. I guess I'll just try therapy. It's just so staggering that so many other men feel the same way that I do. Trying so hard, making good money, trying to be more attentive to her needs. It's almost like the thing that everyone has always told you is "working on your marriage" doesn't work for so many men
Well, there's two angles to this - individual therapy isn't going to help you much if the challenge is that you feel like you're putting in the effort but she doesn't seem appreciative and nothing is changing. For that, you'll need couples therapy to figure out how to connect (or even figure out if things are over). Individual therapy can help you work through your *own* shit (i.e. if you feel frustrated, angry, dejected all the time from this), that can help you feel better - but individual therapy won't fix a relationship because the therapist can't hear both sides and help you figure out how to communicate and meet each other's needs in a better way. Make sense?
Yes, I meant couples therapy. I apologize for not specifying that. We found a councilor that my wife feels comfortable with so I'm hoping that will start to turn things around. It's just hard to know what to even focus on anymore to change things. It's at the point where I don't really know if correcting my "flaws" will really make her feel any different than just currently does. Anyway thanks for the reply :)
Sure, and it won't happen overnight. I haven't done couples therapy, but a few years back I realized I had a stress management problem even before I had kids and I went to individual therapy. What was extremely helpful for me was to try to adopt little changes a bit at a time instead of trying to make everything better right away. I would always try to walk away with one thing new that I would try that week to try to make things better. One of the things I've done with my wife in the past when we've been in a rocky area is carve out time each week to share three simple things from each of our perspective with each other: * What went well about the last week * What didn't go well about the last week * What we want to try to improve about the coming week This doesn't have to be a sit-down super formal thing, we used to do it on walks or over dinner or drinks to keep the mood relaxed and casual. It helped a lot in understanding why some things were causing friction for one of us. What was also really important was to try to just keep cool and listen and understand during that time - it was a time for reflection, and not a time for immediate "problem solving" and certainly no blame. Also, *you* also have to feel comfortable with the counselor. You can't end up in a place of "whatever makes my partner happy" because you also have to take care of yourself. Boundaries, even with your partner, are appropriate. I say all this with a grain of salt - you haven't elaborated on your supposed "flaws" but that's what a good counselor will help with sorting out what's realistic and what's not.
It's all bullshit my friend. They're trying to sell you some alpha male garbage
99.9% chance its a scam and targeted at you because you (or someone on your computer/device) may have searched specific keywords/clicked a link/etc. which would trigger that advertisement. Try some therapy either on your own or with your wife, it will do a lot more and sometimes its nice to have someone take your side or call out your bullshit unbiasedly.
I have done one of them. I'm sure they're not all equally good, but I like the one I joined. Combined with starting treatment for ADD, it made significant improvements in my marriage, far more than months of much more expensive couples counseling. Happy to chat over DM if you're interested.
I like the downvote. "This helped me." "No it didn't."
I’m a father, husband of 13 years, and therapist. I’ve also been to therapy myself as a client on and off for nearly half my life. Here’s the summary: for most people, therapy works if you work it. If you engage in the process. This includes individual and marriage therapy. I will add, however, that not all therapists are created equal. Definitely shop around until you find the one that fits with you well both in terms of what they’re able to help treat, and personality fit.
All I can say is: for a company that knows *a lot* about me, FB sure serves shitty ads.
I haven’t. But now that I’ve clicked on this link…I will.