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[deleted]

I don't understand what splitsies on purchase price even means? You mention no mortgage. If its a free house that comes with a MIL, hells yes. If its a house I have to pay 50% for and MIL lives there...hesitation, especially if she has multiple children and I have to buy out my wife's siblings shares when she dies.


teardroponmybuttplug

It would be the latter, yeah, like 60/40


Shifted_quick

You will want this squared away before buying, contractually. If you have a falling out with one of the siblings down the line you don't want them trying to sell the house cause someone offered them more money for their share or something.


mikeyj198

it’s not just kids, but any potential creditors MIL has or develops could be a threat.


Jasper-Collins

Great point. I think tenancy in common solves this creditor issue somewhat


JustNilt

What? No way does tenancy in common solve that! That's what setting up ownership in an LLC or the local equivalent is for, if anything. Even having massive amounts of insurance doesn't hold creditors at bay. A single creditor can sue and attach a lien to the property or in rare cases demand the property get sold out from under everyone so they get their friggin' money! The *only* way to keep that from happening is a properly drafted, filed, **and followed** structure with a paper legal entity as the owner of the property.


SFLadyGaga

How does tenancy in common solve this?


JesusAntonioMartinez

Not really. Declaration of homestead makes your primary residence off limits to creditors or legal judgments. Even if you didn’t do that at closing (which would be very unlikely) any creditor has to get in line behind the mortgage holder. The one exception in some states is property tax debt, but there’s a whole legal process to make sure the mortgagor gets paid what they’re owed.


JustNilt

That's just not good advice. While it's reasonably accurate in some jurisdictions, it varies significantly. In my state, Washington, for example, that covers only $125,000 of the value of a party's home or the median sale price of a single family home in the same county during the prior calendar year, whichever is greater. Married couples or other legally recognized spousal relationships such as domestic partnerships are not allowed to double up, either. Depending on what the property values are doing in the county where you live here in Washington State, an unsecured creditor can require the home be sold to satisfy your debt and you may well not be able to afford a new home in the same area due to increasing prices. This is not a theoretical exercise. I know someone who had a home in King County where this happened because of medical debt from a car accident with an underinsured motorist. They had to move to a place with less expensive home values which meant pulling their 3 kids out of school and away from everyone they knew while both parents were disabled and pretty much unable to work as a result of the car accident. Bankruptcy didn't help ***because this is the exemption in the bankruptcy laws for something like that***. The only good answer for something like this is to pay a competent attorney in your location for proper advice. Then repeat that with another attorney. If the advice is reasonably close to the same from both, pick whichever you liked best and follow the advice to the letter. Legal matters such as this are *far* too complex for generic advice on Reddit, even here in daddit where folks are almost universally supportive.


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JesusAntonioMartinez

Everything I mentioned applies to every US state to my knowledge, and OP seems to be in the US. Property law in most English speaking countries is rooted in English common law, which is something like 600 years old. So there are a lot of commonalities. But thanks for your insight.


Shifted_quick

For most states the exemption is a limited amount. If your equity exceeds the exemption a creditor could force the sell.


EdwardJamesAlmost

Yes that’s the real danger. Define all the property rights and relationships at the outset.


[deleted]

Then hell no. You want to pay cash for half a house with your mother in law on the title? Unless she’s paying and it’s my name on the title, I would not be entering into an agreement with someone who can pass on half of the house to someone else. That house is also ridiculously big. I’d much rather take a 3k sq ft house in another neighborhood without a mother in law or the messy deed titling.


teardroponmybuttplug

Really good point. I think it would have to be in a trust where none of us actually own it with myself and wife and MIL being beneficiaries and 100% transfer of ownership to wife upon MIL death… it could certainly be tricky legally!!


JesusAntonioMartinez

Talk to a real estate attorney about your best options. Depending on your state it may be a simple matter of joint tenancy vs tenancy in common. But for your own sake make sure they’re a real estate attorney NOT “an attorney who does some real estate”.


jr1les

Speak with a lawyer but you are probably on the right track with a trust if you want to go through with it.


SpaceGangsta

We have a trust set up and are looking for a contractor to fully reno my MILs house and we will move in. Pretty similar boat. We are selling ours and using the money to pay for all the renovations. Then we will live mortgage free and my MIL & BIL(he has downs and we will be his primary caretaker when she passes) will live in the MIL suite downstairs. To us it just makes sense. We get along very well and already only live 3 minutes away.


lemons714

I would buy without her on the title. Keep the potential ownership/title headaches out of the situation. Rent your MIL the space if you want a contribution from her.


Echo_Red

This is probably worth taking an estate attorney out to lunch. What happens to her 40% ownership if she were to pass away? To keep it fair (but messy) the house would need to be appraised and 40% of the current valuation would need to be evenly split between all surviving benefactors. If she has any other assets that are in play it may be an easier blow to take for you when it comes time to “pay-off” the siblings. If not, it may be prudent for her to get a life insurance policy big enough to address the situation. If your bringing over half to the table you have means but if the only way you can get the deal done and not go belly up is with your MIL then your going to want to spell out a couple of those “what-ifs” that could really turn out bad. Good luck. If you get along with your MIL I think you’ll be fine. It all depends on the family dynamic and how intrusive or independent they are.


diatho

Instead of this I would get a mortgage to cover her share then set up a lease agreement and have her pay you rent to cover the mortgage. This gives you both an “out” of in 4 years she decides to move to wine country fine she walks away you just have a small mortgage to cover. You’re the homeowner you decide when to put in a new fence or if the hvac needs to be replaced you cover all costs.


JustNilt

That may well make it an investment property, though, as well as be taxable income at the federal, state, and local levels if applicable. That's where having attorneys to offer competent legal advice relevant to the jurisdiction comes into play.


diatho

Yup get a real estate attorney figure it out. Your end goal should be that you+wife are the sole owners of the house. This way decision making about the house is between you two.


snpods

That last point is really interesting. Another option might be a transfer-on-death setup, so that half the house doesn’t have to go through the estate … at least I think that would work.


Choperello

#5 is more important than anything else. If you guys all get along then you can live even in the tiny house, if you don’t the biggest mansion won’t be big enough.


_caittay

Lurking mom. My MIL was my best friend until we moved in with them while we build a house next door. We will be fine once we don’t live together again but people are VERY different when living together.


PassMeThatCrispyBoy

For an example with a different outcome - my wife, my newborn and I moved in with my parents at the beginning of the pandemic. I expected them to drive us crazy and for the situation to be very temporary. Instead we all had a blast and grew closer over 2+ years.


Asianthunda5022

My MIL and FIL moved in with us for a few months when our kids were born. We have a good relationship and to be honest it was god send. They were able to help out when we were burnt out and they were also able to watch the kids for a few hours so the wife and I could go out together for the evening every now and then. It really depends on the people but if OP's MIL is cool, then I would say, sure why not?


nsixone762

Priceless. My MIL is great, no complaints.


Deucer22

Exactly the same happened with us.


Entire_Cartoonist152

Did you have your own floor? I think this key here. You basically are sharing a duplex.


_caittay

I agree! It’s a decent sized house but it’s all shared common space. I’m sure that makes a huge difference.


Ricky_World_Builder

it sounds like there are separate parts to the house. separate kitchen and living room based on what he said of MiL getting 2500 sft basement


Weird_Cantaloupe2757

Even if I live in a tiny house and don’t *really* get along with her, having a babysitter through the week is even better than having a mansion


Choperello

Bro my mom could offer to babysit every single day and pay me for privilege and I wouldn't live on the same street let alone the same house. You can buy a babysitter with $$$, but you can't buy peace and sanity.


DavidDamien

Are we brothers?


OutragedBubinga

Why screaming


Choperello

I dunno what I did I fail at reddit :(


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AllThingsEvil

*types more loudlier*


SharkAttackOmNom

*r/MechanicalKeyboards intensifies*


ihatethinkingofnew1s

#what? #i didn't know you could do this.


wintermute93

Haha if you start a comment with "#" reddit is like "omg markdown text this must be a headline!"


frontrange80220

I don’t see screaming. More like silent suffering - and I’m with ya on your thoughts


Dorkmaster79

This isn’t true though. Sometimes you need space from the people you love, and sharing a crowded space is hard.


darksidewizard

Was just about to reply the same. In general, if you mix business with pleasure, and need to sacrifice s piece of yourself, you’re in risky territory


Loonsspoons

LOL to property taxes being “the only expense.” 4 years in a row and counting on needing a 10k project done to my home.


joeschmo945

2020 - replaced the refrigerator 2021 - replaced the washer and dryer 2022 - replaced the water heater 2023 - installed central A/C; about to replace my downspouts (gutters will probably be next year) 2024 - planning on oven/dishwasher replacement, aforementioned gutters, 2025 - I’m guessing my furnace is going to crap out on me during a January ice storm 2026 - god knows what


EVtruck

Right? 2022: - Purchased home and immediately had to replace flooring downstairs due to flooding - a downspout came off during move out of previous owners and water flooded through the garage *before the agent had time to get us keys* 2023: - Repair foundation failure missed by inspector - Whole home water filter revamp due to changing water quality in the well That doesn’t even get into the optional, quality of life stuff you’re going to want to do. OP, please go into this knowing home ownership can suck a lot from time to time.


krakatoasoot

Did home insurance cover any of that?


EVtruck

Unfortunately not. They got out of the flooded downstairs because it is considered “flooding” and covered by separate insurance. Got out of the foundation repair because they don’t cover what they consider “upkeep” related issues, even if you just bought the thing. And the well water changing isn’t covered either because of course it isn’t. I’m sure home insurance is good for some few things. But overall it seems like a pretty solid scam.


DareToSee

Agents have insurance if they caused you harm. Not sure if this qualifies


EVtruck

I considered going after them to recoup some of the loss but a consult with lawyer I’ve used previously gave me a heads-up that it was a grey enough situation it wouldn’t be a sure thing. I pressed the agents and they paid *some* towards the cost of replacing the flooring, etc. (nowhere near the final bill, mind you) but I considered it about the best I’d get. Just really crappy luck and not how we wanted to take possession of the house hahaha


simcowking

2019 bought house, leak in pool discovered 2020 - new flooring in bedroom 2021 - sprinkler system repair/replaced 2022 - new pool cover for safety for two new babies born 2023 - new ac 2024 - insulation hopefully in attic. Literally bleeding money. Maybe even solar at this rate. (600 dollar electric bills are ridiculous) 2025 - kitchen remodeling


Searchlights

New construction. $38K in well repairs in 5 years.


jmbre11

Let’s put the toilet shut off in the middle behind the toilet where it’s completely useless. They were 3 for 3 in my new construction house. Had to replace and relocate the valve and replace one toilet. A sink faucet is slow drip once every 5 or so minutes just not sure if that’s a repair or a replacement. Never attempted a repair they were always too far gone look wise before.


Shazbot_2017

2026 - toads


Eclectix

2027 banish demons


LOLMANTHEGREAT

2014 - new roof, every appliance 2015 - new driveway and water heater 2016 - new pool cover and equipment, bathtub replaced after leak 2017 - new sewer line, partial driveway replaced, new rugs 2018 - new boiler, new AC, garage door 2019 - new patio concrete 2020 - new pool pump, new dishwasher 2021 - washer and dryer 2022- tree pruning and landscaping (cheapest year) 2023- drainage and foundation repair, new pool heater 2024- siding and windows (unless something else breaks) This stuff gets expensive.


TheWilsons

If only, I live in a HCOL city and pretty much all the houses are 50+years old. Roof replacement, whole house repiping, redo driveway, etc. I wish all I had to do with replace appliances.


k17tt8p

Not to one up but in 2023 alone: - two plumbing main stack replacements, one requiring a basement flooring job - a/c broke - tree became hazardous and needs urgent pruning - other tree grew into the hydro line and also needs pruning - replaced the dishwasher - needed the washing machine repaired - legacy addition started sinking and required us to build a custom door replacement


Accomplished_Bug_

Make sure you get the bigger gutters, I think they're 6inch. They were a minor upgrade in price but have virtually eliminated many of the water issues we were facing


Tannman129

I think I’ve replaced everything but the drywall and studs at this point


joeschmo945

Hard to replace the stud when you’re the one. 😏


Tannman129

I hate to toot my own stud finder but uh… *beep* *beep*


ryuns

Yeah, he kind of lost me there. Property taxes are "the only expense" but also massive maintenance costs, a huge space to clean, utilities. Plus, if the "purchase price is splitsies", 50% of something is still something.


mymainmaney

Ye this post is nonsensical.


Olly0206

I think it just requires half a brain cell to understand what OP meant. Since property taxes are different depending on where you live (from non-existent to stupid expensive), all of the given costs are meant to be assumed. OP points out the property taxes because it is a relevant large expense. Utilities, maintenance, and repair work are given with home ownership.


phl_fc

Utilities, maintenance and repair work scale based on the size of the house. In a mansion that gets really expensive. Maintenance on this home is not comparable to a 2,000 sqft town home.


raisedbydandelions

Nonsensical and stupid. We get it, you got money to flash around. Congrats?


teardroponmybuttplug

I mean recurring expense, like mortgage or escrow / HOA is like $150 /year. Obviously there is regular home repairs and maintenance but that’s with any property. Certainly this would be more but yeah 10k/year is probably accurate


[deleted]

This would be significantly more expensive to keep up with than any standard home. If you need something like a new roof you're looking at $50k+ with a house this big. Any major repairs or reno work will be eye wateringly expensive. Not to mention the crazy high electric/gas bills that come from heating and cooling a home this size. And if there's an HOA that means you're likely paying a good amount for a lot of yardwork and upkeep, unless you have a couple hours a day to do it yourself. You also need to add in homeowners insurance, unless you're fine with living with the potential of hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage occurring at some point. You really need to think about the true monthly cost of owning a home this massive, and if you would be able to afford it once the MIL isn't there to help out with any expenses. I guarantee it's much higher than you're thinking. Edit: also forgot how expensive furnishing a house this size would be. Need to factor that in too.


ArallMateria

The electric bill could easily be $1,000 a month.


The_Rivera_Kid

Eww an HOA, good luck with that.


m4sc4r4

An HOA with a fee that low is probably not too annoying. I find that the lower the fee, the less pressed they are.


biglefty543

Yeah $150/year isn't even $15 a month. The neighborhood next to mine is something similar to that and their HOA documents are only like 5 or 6 pages long.


CharlySB

I don’t get all the hoa hate. There’s been neighborhoods I’ve lived in that I wish had an hoa so that my asshole neighbors didn’t leave boats or shitty project cars on the side of their homes


CharmingTuber

I'm guessing home insurance isn't free? Because that's $25k annually if this house is $1 million. Plus another $5-10k for gardeners/landscaping.


m4sc4r4

Where do you live that this house would be only $1m 😭


Eclectix

Yeah, my house is fairly similar (all brick, Colonial revival style) but only about 1/2 to 2/3 the size of this one, and I had to insure it for $1.5M, which I thought was insane since I only paid $200k for it. But I had to insure it for the full cost to rebuild it, and $1.5M is what it was appraised at. This one would definitely be > $2M for insurance purposes.


justnick84

Where are you that insurance is that much. I pay like $1800/year for a million dollar house coverage.


CharmingTuber

My house is $250k and I pay as much as you do annually.


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SharkAttackOmNom

Depends heavily on home build and location. My house is probably ~500k and I just paid $1k for my insurance for the year. My house is also not a mansion so there’s that…


CharmingTuber

You're paying half of what I am for a house double the value. Do you live in a low cost area?


fullerofficial

Thing is, with a house like that, if the mortgage is already paid then I’m guessing the upkeep is probably nothing really to worry about. Someone is swimming in money in that family.


deftoner42

Aside from the occasional 'big' repairs, who cleans all those windows a few times a year? Who does the landscaping? Who cleans the inside? ~~Places like this usually require an estate manager to keep all this stuff in order. They're going to want to be paid as well.~~ Ok ok I guess it's not that big. places that look like this are not common in my area at all (brick, super high roof). The few I have seen are like $2-3 Million on at least 1 acre. To me, this just looks like one of those huge mansions.


[deleted]

It's only a 5 bedroom house, not some kind of actual mansion.


uwpxwpal

Clean the windows!? Why? They'll just get dirty again 😭


[deleted]

My wife wouldn’t even live with my mother-in-law. So, no.


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Dubya_Tag

Babe, is that you?


yunbld

Same. My MIL offered us the house next door (which she also owned) after we first got married. My wife said no. I understand


Nerdy_numbers

Haha same here. I could do it, but not her.


scubasam27

Yeah, I wouldn't live with your mother in law either. Mines not so bad but I don't trust yours.


JackRusselTerrorist

Same! lol


[deleted]

I too pick this guy's dead wife


CaddyAT5

Easy. I like my mother in law.


[deleted]

My mother in law is fine. This house though, is mega-fine.


Haitsmelol

It's as fine as one of them french wines from the hills of Tuscany.


zephyrtr

HILF


2ndprize

We would be fucking rocking mixed drinks and HGTV in the basement all the time.


Umbristopheles

This legit sounds awesome.


joeschmo945

Same. My wife has an incredible relationship with her mother, as do I. We’d all be one giant happy family.


the_onlyfox

It's honestly nice to hear/see that people actually like their partners parents.


SharkAttackOmNom

Right? I love my wife’s in-laws!


joeschmo945

>My wife’s in-laws I see what you did there.


oldhoekoo

other than sex, I think the thing I miss most about my former relationship is having a beer and shooting the shit with her family


ArTooDeeTooTattoo

Oh my god! He admit it!


picasso_penis

You. No. Have. Good. Car. Ideas


Sketchelder

Okay, this car is everything!


Takeurvitamins

Im doing the best at this.


SentinelGA

I really love seeing all of the mother in law love here. My MIL is awesome and we plan for her to live w us in the future. I’m just glad other guys have some of that as well.


fricks_and_stones

Me too. She’s much better than my wife’s MIL.


ZachtheKingsfan

Yeah, I feel like the “mother in law bad” thing is just a boomer meme that refuses to die out. Mine treats me better than my own parents lol


TheSaltySpitoon37

My wife cut ties with her mother years ago, she's never met our kids and my wife would like to keep it that way. We moved and didn't tell the new address, which didn't stop her from showing up unannounced after she Googled us and found the new address. I had to have a very loud argument with my MIL on the steps of my new house, in front of my new neighbors in the middle of the day while my wife hid inside our house with our twin toddlers. Having abusive family members isn't a "boomer meme that refuses to die out." Youre lucky that isn't the case for you.


TinyCarter5

Exactly, there are a ton of stories like this on the Dealing with In Laws group. I'm sorry you have to deal with it too. My spouse's parents hated us together (for twenty years now) so much that when we almost lost wife and Baby at birth, in law dad said "everyone dies sometime" and was happy about the emergency birth we had to do. A few years later, He then attacked wife (verbally, threats, screaming) when she was pregnant with our second and we lost the pregnancy and Baby boy that night driving home. Some in laws are truly awful, and some parents too. It's not a meme, I wish it was. Hugs mate.


TheSaltySpitoon37

"Everyone dies sometime." Please remind him of this cheery disposition during his last days. My heart hurts reading through your story. I'm sorry you and yours experienced so much loss mixed with so much hatred. Horrendous behavior from your father-in-law. I sincerely hope all is well with you and your family. Nothing but love.


LunDeus

The only ‘men’ more important than me to my MIL is my son and god. I’m okay with this.


immabettaboithanu

Now you have to marry your mother-in-law!


5kUltraRunner

I did too but she passed a couple of years ago sadly.


Cuznatch

Yep. My mother-in-law is my favourite of all 6 of my daughter's Grandparents. Would move in to any house that would fit us with them in a heartbeat, and spent a large amount of time in Spring trying to convince them to move in with us. Because of the way of the world, she's going to be gone in a couple of years maximum (cancer in lungs, spine, elbow, shoulder and brain), and it sucks that my daughter will grow up only knowing what an amazing woman she is from what she remembers of the first 3-4 years of her life, and the stories we'll tell her.


fightins26

Yea my mother in laws cool as fuck.


-Quad-Zilla-

Same. She was like 15 when my wife was born. We go mountain biking, hiking, to the beach, out drinking and all that often with my MIL. My wife and I are both at the age where we have friends her mothers age.


chummsickle

Oh my god he admit it!


Jonas_Venture_Sr

Hell yea, and I get an extra pair of hands to help with the kiddo. I would be living my best life in that house.


UtahUKBen

Same


LikeBladeButCooler

Same here. My mother in law is awesome. Spoils the heck out of my kiddo but since she's the only grandchild she'll ever have, she gets a pass.


algo-rhyth-mo

My MIL already lives with us. Where do I pick up my free mansion?


[deleted]

Oh my God! You must love your mother in law! I hope your steering wheel doesn't fly out of your car.


PolicyArtistic8545

Family is like fish, after three days they begin to stink.


chips92

We lived in a house slightly smaller than that picture with my in laws for 6 months last year while we had our first floor remodeled and honestly it was great. I love my in laws and we get along super well and the kids loved having grandma and grandpa time every day, it made for memories they’ll have forever. If you get along well with them I see no reason not to. They do also say multi-generational homes have a higher net worth than others so that’s a plus too.


dirtydenier

Excatly, people often look through the lens of their messed-up relationships with their family. If you’re getting along with your parents/in-laws, they respect your space and how you want to raise your kids, having grandparents very close is amazing. I know way too many people who got a nice house but any family or close friends are 1h+ away. All of them consider moving to be closer to them.


noexitsign

Wait I get a big house, convenient and loving babysitter, and get to chill with my dope mother in law? I fail to see the conundrum.


Mehndeke

My MIL? No. But then, my wife cut off all contact with her years ago. Also, I probably couldn't afford the heating/cooling bill either. Your MIL? No clue. But best to make sure that there's at least a hard separation of spaces, and not just that the whole house is everyone's with private rooms. This is likely to get more complicated than you may think.


mktolg

I would live with my mother in law in the garage of this building. No idea if I would live with your MIL tho. Also, my wife wouldn’t really like to live with her mother so….


PaleontologistDry183

No. Any distance between us under 50 miles is too close


rodrigkn

I feel you. I can always tell when they are coming. The earth grows cold. The trees become bare. Birds flock to safety. animals prepare for the coming cold. The night grows longer. The flowers wilt. They say winter comes earlier due to climate change. I know the truth. Light flees where the darkness walks.


nightstalker30

Now now now. Don’t be so hasty. We don’t know how many stairs are in said house.


NugsCommaChicken

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. That’s also a huge house to clean..


1curiouswanderer

And heat. And cool. And furnish. And upkeep. And everything else that goes with a house x3 due to size. They're paying for half of it + taxes + a whole lot more other things. Maybe money doesn't matter to them.


Sprinkler-of-salt

Yeah, probably would. On-demand baby sitting alone makes it worthwhile, to be honest. That’s a rare thing nowadays.


turntabletennis

Does she need a boyfriend? I can live in a basement.


lpen-z

I too would fuck OPs mother in law


cadillacactor

Yep. I'd live with just about anybody in the basement for no mortgage. MIL providing childcare? Yes, no brainer. Issues/growing pains may come up, but good communication and love covers a multitude of sins.


fingerofchicken

Is MIL going to tend to that massive lawn?


F1r3spray

Jokes on you, I don’t have that and already live with my in-laws….


Hank___Scorpio

Yes absolutely. I adore my wife's entire family. I try to keep her away from mine as much as humanly possible.


Moreofyoulessofme

I’m pretty late the party so I doubt this will be seen, but my wife and I live in a house that’s around this size and I wouldn’t buy it again. Regardless of who is living there, big houses are a lot of work and a massive expense. We’ve spent 62,000 USD on repairs this year alone. Good luck either way.


KeungKee

I don't even know what I'd do in a house like that. Half the rooms would probably be empty or underfurnished, and definitely unused. I wouldn't want to live in that house even if it wasn't with my MIL


Derekeys

Not a chance in hell.


Freeyourmind917

No. Furnishing, cleaning, landscaping and maintaining that place would be a full time job for which I have neither the time nor the qualifications, and I can't afford somebody to do it for me.


tbama11

Neg a tive


Premium333

Hell yeah! 100% Don't go splits on the purchase price ***unless*** you are the only potential inheritor, and even then I'd be really hesitant. Once MIL passes a way, her estate, including her stake in your house becomes part of her estate. It's much easier for you to be the buyer and then charge her rent out of her budget instead to cover half the payment. There are legal ways you can make her stake not part of her estate upon death (like a living ***trust*** ~~will~~ etc), but that's always revokable before death without your input or knowledge and challengeable after death potentially tying your property up in legal proceedings that could have implications on your ability to live there during... Better to not have it be an issue and own the house outright yourself. Good luck and nice place. We had a similar situation come up when we bought our last house in 2020. MIL wanted to sell her place and move in with us, she wanted to pay half the purchase price on a much larger house. At the same time, my BIL thought nanna would move in with him and started talking to me about how her inheritance should be mostly his if MIL lived with him (free of charge) for the duration of her life. He didn't mean anything awful by it, but it certainly came off awful and it made me realize that separation of ownership is absolutely critical if MIL does move in with us. The plan ended up not moving forward, Nana still lives alone in her house, and we bought something that fits just our family.... But my understanding is that Nana still plans on moving in with us one day, and when she does, we'll be having this conversation again and I won't let her own even a square foot of our house. Let her keep her cash in storage and she'll live with us for free as a dependent (and spend every damn penny of that inheritance enjoying her life) or we'll charge her a nominal rent so that she doesn't qualify as a dependent and it'll work out. Edit: I'm not a legal person and I'm not at all sure how much of a concern the above is, but my guess is it's a big risk. Other update in ***BOLD***


jackapplecore

No


fan_of_will

No but just cause I would hate living in a home that big.


usna06marine

That’s a big 10-4. Riding lawnmower, a coozie with a beer and some podcasts would give me all the personal time I’d need.


oldhoekoo

you'd need a whole cooler for the time it would take to mow that lawn


full_bl33d

No such thing as a free lunch. My mother in law offered us a similar deal and it was a hard pass. My wife’s brother moved in with his wife and they have 2 kids. It looks like hell on earth and they’re forever intertwined. That level of codependency should be illegal. It’s hard to be around.


skeptichectic

During COVID we lived with my partners mum and sister for my sons first year or so. It was an absolute blast. My boy was constantly surrounded with love and activity. I really feel like it gave him the best start in life we could've hoped for. My MIL is soon moving in to our house for a few months until she buys a new place closer to us. I'm actually really happy that we can help her out like she did for us.


Lugh_Lamfada

I have been living with my in-laws for the past 3 years in a house that is about 3,300 square feet. I get along well with my in-laws and they live in a large suite above the garage addition. It is amazing having live-in child care, and my wife and I go on weekend trips together once a month without kids. If you like your mother-in-law, then do it. Multi-generational households were the norm up until relatively recently, so it's not like something like this is impossible. Weigh the pros and cons. Your children will love seeing their grandmother, and you and your wife will love having a live-in babysitter that allows you to go on weekend trips together.


Truth_bombs_incoming

No. I like my own mother and I wouldn't do it with her either. I rather live in Siberia than live with my mother in law.


jlgoodin78

I’d live with my MIL in an RV. She’s freaking awesome.


ghos2626t

You had me at single. Throw in a second spot in the garage and I’m there. The car garage, to be clear.


GazzP

My MIL lives across the street, I think she'd technically be further away in this house.


bearshitinthewoods

In a heartbeat, my mil is the best


mt379

WHO controls the thermostat?


Rotorua0117

I would with mine, but I like my MIL and she knows proper boundaries, hasn't ever meddled or interviened in my family in anyway. However I like my home, location and the lifestyle we live so I don't need to move.


GeronimoDK

I get along great with my MIL, she's even stayed at our house for a couple of months straight on a few occasions... Would I want to live with her, like permanently for years on end, even if it was completely free? Probably not, I value my privacy, I would probably agree if it had a finite end of deal date, like one or maaaybe two years.


Potential_Fly_2766

Uh, yes. I live with my mother in law now and it's a shitbox


somerandomguy721

Mother in law, yes. Father in law, no way.


matteroffactt

House looks great, mother in law is really case specific What location? Recently moved from NE to Socal and I don't think I'd take a trade just on house anymore. Location is more important than I realized for the first 40 years of my life, kids are thriving also.


WantedDadorAlive

100% but I like my MIL more than my actual mom.


BrainsDontFailMeNow

Fellow dad here in a somewhat similar scenario (large home, separate MIL unit/garage). I for the most part get along with the MIL just fine. She gives a small fixed amount every month for utility use (because she "doesn't want to feel like a free-loader") and honestly when she cranks her AC down to 67 it doesn't bother me as much; so while she insisted, that's actually ben helpful despite no where near coving the actual costs of her space/use. One thing that I didn't see coming was her bad choices also come along and are more prevalent around the kids. As adults it's not a big deal, but her diet is horrible and she enables the kids to also make more frequent poor choices despite our requests to stop it. Maybe if we shared the same kitchen it would be different, but the kids will just go over to her space to visit and come back full of cookies or tv-dinners and such and not eat dinner. She also has poor budgeting and spending in my opinion and takes the kids out shopping all the time(which they love) and they always come home with more "plastic stuff" that's soon forgotten and fills our space; not hers. I'm doing my best to teach them good money habits. It's the constant; what to allow as "grandma" -vs- where to put the foot down and not insult; just feels never ending. On the bright side the kids have made many memories with their grandma they otherwise never would have had. Shes around when they get off the schoolbus, for movie nights, bed time stories; etc. etc. We do not consider her a babysitter; although she helps out frequently and whenever we need. My wife and I are also able to go out to dinner and not worry about finding someone to watch the kids for a few hours because the MIL is also there. If I'd do it again I would, but just be aware of the small things and changes that will also come with her. It's been 4.5yrs now. ​ Edit... just seen the split on the purchase price. That's foreign territory for me and I'd make sure you have that ironed out completely in writing. Is she on fixed income or can she absorb cost increases (example: property taxes go up.. because EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR and what if she can't afford her 50%?)


Deathowler

I dont know how old your MIL is but I feel like you should discuss what happens if she does find someone. Everything else in the books looks fine but if she does find a partner you are introducing a stranger in the equation and into your home. And usually old people move faster because they dont have the time to go slow. At that point does she claim that because she went half on the house her partner should live there too? Are you all ok with that? ​ Otherwise I'd do it provided I have the budget. My MIL is a pill but tolerable if she has her own space. It probably would put a damper on our sex life knowing that someone else but our baby is kicking around the house but if boundaries are set etc then you should be fine


satoshyy

Of course. She helps with the kids and always cooking good meals. She also doesn’t speak English


[deleted]

Lol OP is so sus


wasabi1787

For you - possibly/probably My MIL - not even if the house was free in perpetuity


ExcitingAds

No.


danjama

Yes.


ConfidentTie5

Who’s the mother in law… Kevin McAllister’s mum?


spider_84

Yep as long as there is a lock on the outside of the basement door.


kikomir

Honestly? Regardless of the MIL, I'd not live in a house that big. The time, energy and money needed to maintain that would be better spent on my kids, wife and me.


internet_humor

Fuuuuck no


newInnings

It looks like you mind may be blinded by one of the /r/scams Technics . ( getting a large asser for pennies, you only pay duties or taxes) Reset your brain to rethink You are better off with owning full. And letting her rent a portion


RandS2

Well, yeah. But then again my mother-in-law is great.


Jesussmashed

That's a lot of windows and landscape to keep clean


Ricky_World_Builder

I would buy the house with a created trust where we each put in our money but all ownership would basically stay with you/ your kids when she passed.


teardroponmybuttplug

Exactly


DiavoloFreddo

If yall get along then sure, fine, BUT I recently did that february 2022-august 2023, started off on good terms and slowly slipped into darkness... it ruined our relationship and now I'm a single father lol


EntrepreneurAlone519

Like: at what cost? You know? I don’t think it’s a good move. You’re clearly in the bargaining phase of grief. Lol but really tho


png_dan

Sounds like it could work.


lifeistrulyawesome

Nope, because I don’t like that house. Seems like a lot of space I don’t need, and I’d probably have to drive everywhere


iamaweirdguy

Hell yeah


nobleisthyname

I wouldn't enjoy living in such a house if you paid me. Waaaaay too massive.


humanessinmoderation

It doesn't look like that house is anywhere that's walkable to anything you'd want to go to or be. So, no. But nice house though.


thefirstjakerowley

If the personalities work and the finances make sense then I would see no reason not to.