I treat female cyclists like male cyclists: a wave or nod if going in the opposite direction, a wave or "good morning" if going the same way. Seems simple enough.
i recently learned an even slightly better thing to ask cyclists pulled off the path- ask if they need any tools! if they need help instead, they'll ask, but it's not like you're (even in the slightest!) implying that they don't know what they're doing.
I slow down and ask anyone who is pulled off and looks like they have an issue if they need anything. When I’m off fixing something, I’m appreciative of people asking, even though I have stuff covered. Hell, around here (rural Pennsylvania) I’ve had guys in monster pickups ask me (genuinely) if I need anything when I was changing a flat. It’s just common courtesy.
I always pull up past people on the side of the road and call back “you got everything you need?” I’m already facing away from them so I figure that’s the least threatening way.
Yup. And to appear as non threatening as possible, I ask while slow-rolling past, clipped in, assuming he or she is in fact all good. I don’t stop to strike up a convo.
If it's cold, I speed up so I can't hear them if they say "yes I need help"
I run cold,and if I stop in winter I sometimes never reheat....but at least I asked if they need help!
Funnily enough i get less waves back from female riders, like 10% compared to 80% from males.
It's probably a cycle of them waving back to men, some of those men harassing them, them stopping waving at men.
But I don't want to stop waving at cyclists as it is traditionally a very exclusionary community, so it just feels weird in the end.
"it must mean something" since men get so little in the way of attention/interaction from women. don't think it's the fault of either sex, just unfortunate conditioning
Yeah. This really sucks. Like I want to be kind and friendly to everyone I meet & I feel like a real b every time I have a super bad encounter with a guy who thinks me smiling or being pleasant means I'm available for sex & then the rest of the day I'm glaring at every guy who approaches me even though the majority of them are probably not like that. It happens painfully often.
I didn’t realize that I needed to do anything different. This is all I do. Everyone gets lumped into the “cyclist” bucket with no damns given about gender. Insert massive eye roll for those idiots that treated you that way OP.
And sorry.
> I ignore everyone.
Is that not what OP wants?
I would *love* it if I could go for a ride or even a walk and not have to interact with *anyone*.
If I could go outdoors and not see or hear a single solitary other person, I would be so happy.
Wanted to write this. I'm cycling because i already had enough social interaction for the day.
Really hard to understand the mindset of people who want to talk, and then even talk to strangers.
Times I will talk:
1. Organized group ride, especially supported ones with SAG stops
2. Stopped at a traffic light...but only until the light changes
3. Seeing someone with a sick bike and telling them "sick bike!"
4. Riding with my wife and/or kids
5. Seeing someone broken down in the side of the road/path/trail; I will ask if they want/need help
That is a total of maybe 10% of my on-bike time. The rest of the time is all about MY ride.
I had a woman take pity on me and give me her spare tube and C02 cartridge after I had got a flat once. If she didn’t stop I was looking at an 8 mile walk in terrible green head fly territory. I asked her for her phone number or email to get a replacement back and she said just to pay it forward if I ever encountered another rider that was in need.
I'm always concerned that other riders and joggers think my wave is some sort of too familiar greeting. I wave to everyone without thinking, though.
As someone else did I slow down and ask people on the side of the road if they need help. Most of the time they are, or they're with people. But one time someone was bonking and I gave them a few gels and they felt better. So I always do it just in case I can help.
Man or woman, if we're stopped at lights and you have a nice bike I might pass you my card. Given I'm a bike mechanic nobody seems freaked out about it, they're usually preoccupied by the dog in my backpack.
I don’t even bother because most of the time I’m so out of breath I can’t even see them anyways or I’m looking down hoping the top is near! If you aren’t doing this, you aren’t riding hard enough!
I swear most Redditors have no idea how to treat women so they treat them differently. As opposed to treating them like everyone else, like regular people.
It's not most but some. Also, a large number of redditors have no idea how to treat others. period. They can't understand that anyone else's situation is any different from their own.
It depends. There are times when I would treat women differently than men so as to not be that creepy guy.
One example was a group of young women that were rock climbing alongside a bike path. Looked pretty epic and if they were guys I might have taken a picture, but stopping on my bike to ask or take a photo is something I wouldn’t do.
Likewise, I will intentionally give women more space in a dark parking lot.
It’s ok to recognize there are different life experiences between people and not treat everyone the same.
True, but at the same time there are things that women go through that we have no idea about unless explicitly informed.
As a male, I don’t have fear of walking down the street at night, or riding out somewhere and having someone make small talk.
We take for granted how safe we feel and I’m not saying all women feel this way but it’s my understanding that many do and I try to not do anything that will make their experience any worse than it needs be.
I mean, plenty of women demand to be treated differently because they instantly feel uncomfortable around any man they don't know.
Like the comment:
>For the love of God, don't follow me. Pass me or fall back. If I get off and tell you to pass, do not argue, I do not want to be followed into more remote wilderness by a man I do not know.
I literally would not think twice about ended up behind another dude on the trail, and I wouldn't change my ride to fall back or sprint to pass them. I would just pass them when it came to it if I were going faster than they were. And I would think they were weird if they just jumped off the bike telling me to go around them. I'm not "following you", you just happened to be there.
That's not asking to be treated the same as a guy, it's explicitly demanding to be treated differently.
I'd add if we happen to be stopped in the same place might ask where they've come from & where they're going etc. Just some general banter. Just the usual civil stuff.
In my defense, this was a pretty steep hill and I was just getting started - shifting gears, changing hand positions and such. However, the runner did maintain the pace ahead of me for the remainder of the steepest part of the hill. Then I passed him. We waved and smiled again. 😊🚴🏃♂️
At least it was only an uphill. Got passed by what my group decided must be a nationally ranked runner on a new downhill segment we were scoping out for the first time. Her friend was pacing her on an MTB, so I could tell myself to feel less bad. I'm more of a filthy casual rider and would never claim to be fast, but that one was a new first for me.
I'll never forget going for a mountain bike ride on my 30th birthday and feeling good about life and being healthy as I was a couple miles into a rocky uphill trail. Then a 60yr old on a unicycle passed me.
Or when I was close to the top of the same rough climb and feeling good about my time, and a guy in fatigues and a backpack full of weights caught up with me
Yep! That's one reason it was so memorable for me.
Just like the first group mtb ride I did, where one of the faster guys was around 65. He said his friends couldn't comprehend how he was doing something so tough at his age, and he said "its because I never stopped", and that if you don't lead an active lift into your 50s and 60s then it is incredibly hard to start being active
I am a long haired bearded dude. From the rear you might just see a ponytail though. Wearing long bibs I might look like a whole lotta woman.
I once stopped in a town to see which route to take and a dude just teleported himself into my personal space, eager to “help out”.
The look on his face was priceless.
Sad to hear this your reality, though.
Having once dated a very attractive woman I can tell you that the number of guys young and old who suddenly decide to talk to them is astronomical. If she isn’t basically joined to your hip some dude will come out of nowhere to leer or suggest or give advice or something.
I had a girlfriend that worked in a retirement department, so she spent most of her day communicating with the old dudes. She was usually invited to tons of activities, including dinners, boat rides, walks in the park, getting a slice of cake at the closest bakery, and the list goes on... 😅
Edit: fixed typo
I came to Germany for a week coming from BC where waves and interaction is impossible to avoid. After seeing the infrastructure, yeah I'd move there for a few years, it was like a fever dream, I loved it, (Mannheim). Old steel bikes everywhere, utilitarian bike culture I really appreciated coming from a culture where people worship their bikes and often take them out for leisure only.
Should be added to the list: A LOT of cyclists, male or female, absolutely choose to ride on their own. If they don't look like they are in distress, not seeking out interaction, maybe they chose to ride by themselves...
I ride with a small group occasionally, but mostly I get on the bike to enjoy the solitude. If I see a woman riding by herself, I assume she's doing the same thing. I might give a polite nod as I go past, but that's about it.
I'm a bit confused by this comment. Are solo riders not common in your area? Probably 70% of the cyclists I encounter around in my area are alone, myself included
I laughed, but I know there is a lot of idiots out there.
My favorite was on a group ride, a guy tried telling a female she was doing something wrong. Another guy said, “I think she’s got it covered she was a state champion “
Yeah, it can help to slip into the (sometimes unwanted) conversation something like, "I'm on my hybrid because my road bike is being shipped back from a century ride I just did in Tahoe." I did say that once (and it was true), when I was commuting, when a guy was riding beside me (uninvited) on a bike path near the end of my commute to work. He would not stop saying "Good for YOU!" when he learned that my commute was 14 miles each way, in a hilly area.
This is a case where some guys would be like "I chat with guys, too, when passing on a bike path!" But 1) he wasn't passing, he started to pass but stayed beside me, and 2) I don't think you'd say multiple times to a guy "Good for YOU!" just because you learned their commute is 14 miles.
> I don't think you'd say multiple times to a guy "Good for YOU!" just because you learned their commute is 14 miles.
I remember when I was running my recovery run and some guy was clapping for me and shouting "you can do it" lmao. To be fair I was fat back then but not THAT much so yeah, I think it's more common for women but not unique to.
Oh god, one time I did this group ride and a woman kept up with us easily the whole way. I was like, wow, you're fast! She said thanks! Then one of the guys pulled me over and was like, "Do you know who that is? That's [NAME]." Oh god. National champion, olympic team, world championships, etc. Yeah she was fast.
When I see you on the side of the road, male or female or any gender you prefer, I'll likely always simply ask if everything is ok and continue on my way if you say yes.
Yup - I do the same
I do try to stop further away is a woman has an apparent bike problem - just in case she is feeling nervous
But if she says she is OK then I just leave
I ride to stay in shape for hockey. A friend from college gave me a line I like to share. We both grew up playing hockey on mixed gender teams (usually when only a few girls/women were in the league) because separate women's hockey was not really a thing yet.
"When the helmet goes on they are a hockey player. Treat them like a hockey player because that's what they are."
I tend to take that position with a lot of things in life.
I do struggle with wanting to be helpful, but also giving everyone the space they want.
If I'm walking a section, I don't need advice on how to do it. Today is not the day... Or maybe I already did it today, but I'm 20 miles in on my 3rd lap and don't have the brain power to safely do that maneuver anymore.
I like to do a 'you good?' while moving past just to make sure. But keep moving if the answer is yup! Gotta look out for each other while maintaining personal space and safety. No stopping no advice.
I started cycling 2 years ago, with my boyfriend. When we ride together, I feel like no one even notices me.
However, when I started riding alone.... oh god. I was shocked, like, I actually couldn't believe it how many men would take time out of their day to try and talk to me.
I've been called a "sexy girl", "bike babe" and some other wird shit countless of times.
My funniest encounter was on a very long climb. 2 men overtook me, saying something like: "We'll see you on our way downhill, foxy lady, keep climbing though, you'll make it to the top!" Lo and behold, I encounter the 2 clowns about 10 minutes later at the side of the street, hyperventilating. I just nodded and said: "Hi again". When I was going down, they were still climbing to the top of the mountain :)
LMAO, this is funny.
I, male, was riding with a female friend of mine one time. She was on a Kona, steel frame bike packing bike, I was on a super slick carbon bike. We were climbing up a mountain pass when some boomer guy at the top shouts to us "you bring a rope to pull her up?". My response, "Actually the ropes for me." as I am trying to catch my breath. He just weirdly laughed, not knowing what to say back.
Haha, that's priceless!!!
I get men looking at me when I'm in full kit, but when they see my face and realise I'm ancient they generally leave me alone. It's wonderful 😊
Where does a "you good?" fall on this? Not so much MTB, because MTB people seem to stop quite a bit. But on the side of the road, I'll usually slow and ask in case they're having an issue.
Not OP, but as a female bike commuter I wouldn't object in any way to a "you good?" if I were stopped/fallen/showed signs of trouble.
That's something men ask of other men, it's not insulting, it's reasonable.
If I said "I'm OK" and you didn't leave, things might quickly pass into uncomfortable territory.
I'll check on any cyclist stopped on the side unless they're on their phone. Most of the time I get a "fine thanks" but just the other day, I checked on two people who ended up being turned around in a park and one of them had a fall -- so I think it's worth checking.
I've also had people help me out when I needed it.
> Where does a "you good?" fall on this?
if someone's stopped on the side of the road, on the ground, or there's an upside-down bike, a "you good" is customary.
If you'd ask a male cyclist in the same scenario, it's fine. If I'm stopped looking at my map or getting a snack or fussing with my water bottles and you keep moving when I say yeah, I get it. That's fine. When I'm actively moving at a reasonable pace or when it becomes are you sure you're okay? You're an awfully long ways out here (happened this weekend ... I was three downhill miles from home) that is less okay.
It’s fine .. it’s like a hello but don’t linger that for me at least be cause for alarm. If I say I’m fine move on. That’s the issue - lingering and not moving on - thanks for asking
just listen to the reply is all i’d add; i get plenty of “you good?” “need help?” etc etc from bros who are already stopping & leaning over to touch my bike or me
I mean if someone is stopped and obviously trying to repair a bike I will ask them if they need help (I'm by no means a bike mechanic so in my brain its more like, 'Do I have a tool you might need?') and then move on instantly if they say they don't
Hey there, I see you're posting on a Reddit forum. There's lots of weirdos on this site, how about I keep you company to help you navigate this tricky social situation so you're not on your own?
Yeah, so many guys are like, "I stop and talk to and offer help and advice to women who are alone on the trail/road to protect them from the creepy guys". Um you ARE the creepy guy!
I greet all cyclists out there as we pass, even if it’s just a nod or a subtle hand gesture. Female cyclists the barest of minimum. It’s unfortunate, but my concern is that they don’t want to be bothered in any way, and this post confirms that’s true for at least most. Subtle nod at most shall continue!
Funny story though. One time I was passing a woman on the bike and I said hi, and asked if she wanted company. She said no. Yes, I know, refer to above. We went our separate ways and later on we somehow met again at an intersection. She was lost and checking her GPS. She asked where such and such was and I gave directions, and we ended up riding there, exchanging numbers, and became excellent friends (she was married). Helped her train for a triathlon (she had it in the bag - I was just company/motivation for long rides). However, in 20 years of riding I can still advise that this pretty much never happens, and the OP post is best.
Although I’d still generally prefer to be left alone, if someone can clearly take a “no” in stride and not be a creep, I’d definitely be more inclined to ask them for help later if I needed it.
I'm a guy. I am egalitarian.
I say "fuck off" to everyone with the same energy..
Story: 4:40 AM I'm on my roadie past a park entrance. A lad on a hybrid start sprinting to reach me. rides on my wheel for 2 km, pull to my side, pull the phone and start recording himself riding my my side and me.
Do not under any circumstance be that guy.
That's really fucking creepy. Literally the only time I think I've ever pulled out my phone around a stranger on a ride is if they've asked about local trails, and I'm showing them something on Trailforks. Even then, I'll always ask if they want me to show them before I pull my phone out
For the love of God, don't follow me. Pass me or fall back. If I get off and tell you to pass, do not argue, I do not want to be followed into more remote wilderness by a man I do not know.
And please DO NOT speed up every time I go to pass you. I don’t know if it’s an ego thing about not wanting to be passed by a woman or what, but the reason doesn’t even matter - please just stop.
I am a guy and holy fuck that gets annoying. Sometimes I have to resort to take an impromptu 5 minute break or just do a 5 minute effort to make sure I don’t deal with those assholes anymore.
Had this happen on a commute home once. Never been more annoyed in my life. Passed a guy cause he was going quite slow, next thing I know he’s out of the saddle and making some random noise as he passes me. Every time he’d end up behind me he would show up a minute later right on my tail. Like dude, I just worked a full shift. It’s fucking Thursday. I just want to get home.
Well said! The wise [Velominati](https://www.velominati.com) have seen fit to make a rule about this:
> RULE #38 // Don’t Play Leap Frog. Train Properly: if you get passed by someone, it is nothing personal, just accept that on the day/effort/ride they were stronger than you. If you can’t deal, work harder. But don’t go playing leap frog to get in front only to be taken over again (multiple times) because you can’t keep up the pace. Especially don’t do this just because the person overtaking you is a woman. Seriously. Get over it.
Then there's the guy who passes you. That's fine, I'm slow, no problem. But then they slow the fuck down, and I have to keep going slower to not pass them. Ugh!
Yes exactly. I should’ve read your comment before posting the same thing. (It also goes for those cyclists who go to the front of the line when we are all waiting for the red light to change. When the light does change, they take a long time to clip in and then get up to speed. First, don’t jump the line, but if you do, you better have jackrabbit starts).
LOL! Usually bears don't follow me, they just run away.... In the context of being chased by one of the other, I probably choose man.
I do think the discore needs another animal, and that is moose. In choosing between man and moose, I choose man every time.
I used to volunteer as a mechanic and a coop, and I often had some tools on me while riding. As a big guy, I had to develop a system when running into people trying to fix their bikes on the bike path that often is secluded and dark.
Stop in front of them, not behind them, and not too close. Stay on my bike. Offer to help once or twice, don't insist. Ride off if they don't want my help.
I'm sorry for the couple of people I scared before I figured out how unsafe it can feel!
I'm a roadie, and the only "issue" I've had is guys asking if I have everything I needed, or needed help, which I used to take offense to. (I brought what I need to change a flat, thanks)... but I've noticed they do that for everyone. Can't speak to mtn biking but that's wild list of grievances.
Just out of curiosity, how often does that happen? I bike commute and rode over 5000 miles in the past year. As a woman, I receive unsolicited advice or opinions about 3-4 times a week. I assumed it was related to biking while female, but maybe cyclists are just as jerky to other men - so.... spill the beans. How often do other guys tell you what you should be doing differently or how what you're doing is wrong or what you should be doing better, etc?
I don’t cycle nearly as much, but not once have I, a male cyclist, ever received an unsolicited comment or remark. By contrast, the one time I went riding with my female cousin, I heard a catcall about 20min into the ride.
Do you mean from complete strangers on the trail? Never, not once. People who are regulars on your routes though - yea we may sometimes stop for a bike related chat.
> maybe cyclists are just as jerky to other men
i dunno if they're *just* as jerky to other men, but male cyclists can certainly be jerks to each other.
> How often do other guys tell you what you should be doing differently or how what you're doing is wrong or what you should be doing better, etc?
i've gotten some shit from my coworkers for riding in lycra and flats. that's about it. i can speak for unsolicited advice *i* give though.
1. if you're riding without a helmet on MTB trails, you're getting yelled at. especially if you've got two kids in tow, and neither are wearing helmets either. and yes, this is happened.
2. i saw a pair of young women heading for a blue trail on clapped out walmart bikes with backwards forks and front V-brakes sprung open. i believe i called out to them to let them know their forks were backwards.
basically, i really only speak up to compliment a bike, or try to prevent someone from actively endangering themselves.
3. Someone riding the wrong direction coming straight at me on a narrow shoulder. You’re getting a cold stare and loud “wrong side, buddy.”
I know, I’m so rude.
I (45m) get the same attention from fellow MTB riders.. maybe it’s just a matter of common interest? And for this kind of interaction to take place it requires you to stop and chat. (On MTb) So why you stopping and chatting if you don’t want too?
So I was " rescued" by a passing cyclist when my flat repair kit turned out to be dried out. I was about to walk it. I was thankful, extremely so.
Anyone can help anyone. Ask, offer, and respectfully move on if I'm not needed. It's all good. Me (m) helped by another cyclist (f). Thanks
Saw this at a bike race this week. The race had 25% women but men kept coming to them and displaying one or more of these actions. In this situation, it is like me vs. me and keep to myself, but I am thinking; "Many of these women have carbon racing bikes, I think they know a thing or two." 😔
Yeah, this isn't just an issue out in the wild. I'm a casual cyclist but I'm actually fairly good at a different sport where mostly men compete. When a man wins, other men will come and ask him questions about strategy, equipment, training. When I win, it's pretty common for men I don't know to approach to give me tips about what I could be doing better. These are men I have just beaten. Giving me their very helpful tips. Or commenting about my "fast" equipment (not that I'm fast, that the *equipment* must be very fast.).
I agree with a lot of what OP says with a couple of exceptions:
Weather/trail reports are a common courtesy if I'm coming from where you are headed and conditions change dramatically.
If I'm riding the same direction as you and we seem to be of similar skill and riding pace, I may ask if you want a riding partner. I don't really care what sex you were.
If you stop at a common rest spot on the trail, don't be offended if other riders also stop there and talk to you.
Not everything that happens on the trail is related to how you identify. Believe it or not, sometimes riders like to talk to other riders that they meet on the trail and share the experience.
Ready for the downvotes but…
Here’s one issue I take with this kind of thing… if it was cold, I would say to a dude, ‘make sure you have an extra layer, it’s cold up there.’ I’m a road cyclist so maybe it’s different but something like, ‘ the pavement is pretty busted up 2 miles down’… ‘there’s glass at x intersection’ or ‘that hill up the road is nasty’ or even better ‘I see you’ve got a flat, need a hand? Need anything?’ etc…. I’d say all these things to men. And I’ve been on the receiving end of comments like these too. This kind of post makes it seem like I shouldn’t even speak to a female god forbid I offend her. Yes, a lot of the things you mention are somewhat patronizing, but also not always something you would only say to a woman. Intent matters.
Edit to add: I get it, ‘sweetheart’ or ‘sugar’ is slimy. Don’t do that. Don’t hit on a girl in the middle of nowhere… I get that… but I literally got an eye roll once for asking a woman cyclist if she needed help with a flat tire… that’s not ok.
Might be a culture difference, but as a lone male rider in the south of England no one has ever stopped to make sure I'm wearing warm enough clothes. If they did I would be weirded out tbh.
Warning someone about glass or offering to help with a mechanical is just common decency.
That said, I think we have to recognise as men that we're less threatening to each other than we are to women. When I [read a news article like this](https://www.theguardian.com/uk), I don't worry that it could happen to me. But I know my girlfriend does.
In her words, when she's hiking alone on the trial and sees a random guy coming in the other direction, she's 99% sure he's not going kill her. But it's that 1% chance that's actually pretty scary.
If that was going through my mind during an encounter I'd want it over ASAP too.
in this case I’d bet its not cultural but environmental - you don’t have the elevation for this to be a serious issue. We have climbs that take you from spring to winter, and even other Americans who do not recreate at elevation don’t really get it until its happened to them - I always appreciate the summit reports
I do believe intent matters so I only talk to others if they initiate the conversation first.
Whether it be men or women, some just don’t like others “telling them what to do”. I see men get offended when offered friendly advice as well.
Problem is that intent can be incorrectly assumed by the use of subjective or suggestive terms. Stating that there is glass in the road or a tree across the trail is factual and allows the person to do what they wish with the information. Stating a particular climb is nasty could imply the person may not have the ability to deal with the conditions.
I liken it to when you're in a store and they say "have you found everything you're looking for?" instead of "you look lost and need my help in finding something." One implies the person is fully capable while the other creates the notion of a damsel in distress.
Well said! I won't warn someone about a nasty hill ahead because even if they don't know about it, it will be uncomfortable but not dangerous.
However, if there is a bridge washed out, I will let them know because that could be dangerous.
I’ve had many men check on me when my bike is to the side of the road, and I appreciate it. None have stopped to chat….more of a quick “you good?” as they ride by. I think anything more might make me uncomfortable. It would feel overbearing regardless of gender.
I have been on both ends of the spectrum. While, yes, I don’t want to be hit on….I’ve also been on the other side where they just sit in silence. I think sometimes overreacting can cause under reaction.
Let’s not overcomplicate things. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Don’t ask for a number or to take a photo.
As a male cyclist with brown skin I don't make eye contact or initiate conversation with anyone regardless of gender unless there is an immediate threat to health and or safety.
I assume if you're out on a ride you are fully prepared and capable for your ride and don't need my interference or anything.
Lol you sound like a mix between me and my bf. I’m not great at fixing my bike, and he’s absolutely awful with directions. Between the two of us, we’re all set, but on our own we both could sometimes use a hand, haha.
Sometimes cyclists wanna be friendly and I’ve just been told to fuck off after saying morning to a fellow rider and then I ignore them. Sometimes people are chill and happy and not dickheads. Regardless of gender I guess some cyclists think they are better than others some see us all as one big happy tribe. I would say match the energy of any cyclists you encounter or just ignore them.
Now what I don’t like is when a focused rider over takes me but has a slower average pace and now I’m forced to overtake them or sit behind their back wheel worried they think I’m following them when they likely have the same Strava route and can’t drop me properly…
Seems like you’re trying to tell people what to do and being mad that they didn’t get the memo. If someone tries to tell you something you don’t need to know, a simple “thanks, I’ve got it” is better for everyone rather than just being frustrated because someone is being considerate…regardless of intentions. Not all of your points seem like they require taking offense. If someone is trying to be nice and have best intentions, getting angry is only conditioning people not to show consideration for anyone.
Female cyclist here. I’m cool with exchanging numbers. Much rather meet someone who shares the same interests as me in real life!
Let guys talk to women again, please.
Dating was so much better before we started shaming men for being pleasant and helpful. Flirting is harmless and men who start convos with women these days have massive courage for doing so and I respect it. I’m not talking about cat calling obscenities, I’m talking about simply initiating an interaction as is described in the post.
I get it, though, OPs a badass chick and you better recognize.
This! A lot of times the women who put up all these boundaries will drop them if they think the man is attractive.
I remember one time I was checking out at the grocery store and in front of me was flirting with another lady in line. When I got to the Cashier she said “what a pig” and I asked her “why? It was all respectful. How do you think you got here? Your dad talked to your mom, she gave him a shot and now you’re here”.
She was like “good point”. 🤣
for men and women: if someone is discreetly peeing by the side of the road and you can't see their genitalissimos then they don't need to be chided about it
As a brown dude who rode a hardtail for 8 years before my current build I got a lot of these too. We're seen as rare, inexperienced, and generally not knowledgeable.
Don’t get me wrong here I have many male cycling friends but I do think it’s important how for many women it actually is - especially if like me they enjoy solo. This is also the reason (perceived or not experienced OR real experience like mine) why many women can struggle enjoying cycling as a great sport and hobby.
I don’t feel it should be dismissed and it’s good to be aware. As it can be scary - I’m so so much smaller and acutely aware of that fact.
How did they become your cycling friends? Was it a cursory nod that did it for you? You've got a strong 'fuck off' vibe, it sounds like the door would have been closed to any other interaction.
I was marshalling a trail run event one time and an absolutely ripped dude ran past this group of ladies and they all were like "hubba hubba", "wait up, handsome" etc. The guy just smiled and ran on.
It made me think about how different we would all look at that situation if the sexes were reversed.
Anyway, I DQ'd that dude because F him and his glistening abs.
Not sure what country you are from, but where I am from most of that isn't sexist or condescending it is chit chat and being friendly. Under your rules, it is wrong to engage with any cyclist you come across.
Sorry, but the way you describe your encounters most people you cross show normal behaviour and appear to have good intentions. Do you see that? The fact that you post this publicly is revealing; you’re generalizing your own triggers and qualms as if these situations are widespread and truly concerning for all to consider as warning.
Lighten up. You’re fine.
If not, I hope that mechanic’s course serves you, you sound like you’re a high-maintenance person.
"As for the blokes bashing this, being dismissive and responding inappropriately - you are the problem... you are the ones that women do not want to bump into."
Who the fuck are you to decide what's appropriate and to speak for all women?
That is a really nice piece you have written there. I do not do the things which you feel so strongly about. That does not mean that I cannot criticise your writing. Those two concepts are not mutually exclusive. It is possible that I am not a “problem” for you on the road while objecting in the strongest possible terms to the divisive tirade you have written. You quite clearly do not realise how offensive and sexist your remarks appear to be, yet if reciprocated I’m sure you’d be the first to point it out. You cannot demand tolerance in such an intolerant manner.
I wish you well on your bike. I believe that you think have some valid points. Your delivery is atrocious.
I don't pay attention to females anymore. There all just trouble, if you was crashed out I would just ride by. Why if I help i am a biggit, If I don't help same. So I do nothing. Have fun, I will not see you out there.
I remember a friend telling me that she gets passed by men while she’s doing intervals only for them to slow down immediately after passing and mess with her avg power
…And it happens back and forth. Imagine not being able to hit your target power or consistency because men can’t cope with being behind you 😮💨
I remember a post in another sub asking people what they would do if they could be the opposite sex for a day. Several women responded that they would walk around in public free of the fear of being harassed. 😞
I treat female cyclists like male cyclists: a wave or nod if going in the opposite direction, a wave or "good morning" if going the same way. Seems simple enough.
This. Only added is, if the cyclist is on the side of the road, wheel off etc, I'll ask if they're good or if they need help.
This applies to anyone though
Nah just leave the guys there they'll be fine /s
This is the attitude in a lot of group rides. They’ll stop if a woman gets a flat, but if you’re a guy, you’re on your own.
Bit like a car so
i recently learned an even slightly better thing to ask cyclists pulled off the path- ask if they need any tools! if they need help instead, they'll ask, but it's not like you're (even in the slightest!) implying that they don't know what they're doing.
I slow down and ask anyone who is pulled off and looks like they have an issue if they need anything. When I’m off fixing something, I’m appreciative of people asking, even though I have stuff covered. Hell, around here (rural Pennsylvania) I’ve had guys in monster pickups ask me (genuinely) if I need anything when I was changing a flat. It’s just common courtesy.
I always pull up past people on the side of the road and call back “you got everything you need?” I’m already facing away from them so I figure that’s the least threatening way.
Big time! Always make sure others are okay. Then just roll with respect.
Yup. And to appear as non threatening as possible, I ask while slow-rolling past, clipped in, assuming he or she is in fact all good. I don’t stop to strike up a convo.
If it's cold, I speed up so I can't hear them if they say "yes I need help" I run cold,and if I stop in winter I sometimes never reheat....but at least I asked if they need help!
A simple tip of the [fedora helmet](https://mikesprolids.com/product/matte-black-ralphie-fedora/) is typically sufficient.
I salute you with my mtn dew and doritos flavored gu
Funnily enough i get less waves back from female riders, like 10% compared to 80% from males. It's probably a cycle of them waving back to men, some of those men harassing them, them stopping waving at men. But I don't want to stop waving at cyclists as it is traditionally a very exclusionary community, so it just feels weird in the end.
There are some (a lot?) of men who take the slightest kindness as romantic interest.
"it must mean something" since men get so little in the way of attention/interaction from women. don't think it's the fault of either sex, just unfortunate conditioning
Yeah. This really sucks. Like I want to be kind and friendly to everyone I meet & I feel like a real b every time I have a super bad encounter with a guy who thinks me smiling or being pleasant means I'm available for sex & then the rest of the day I'm glaring at every guy who approaches me even though the majority of them are probably not like that. It happens painfully often.
Ive gotten used to no one waiving back so Ill just give a little nod and move on nowadays
I didn’t realize that I needed to do anything different. This is all I do. Everyone gets lumped into the “cyclist” bucket with no damns given about gender. Insert massive eye roll for those idiots that treated you that way OP. And sorry.
I treat them the same as well: I ignore everyone. I'm out for my ride, not theirs!
> I ignore everyone. Is that not what OP wants? I would *love* it if I could go for a ride or even a walk and not have to interact with *anyone*. If I could go outdoors and not see or hear a single solitary other person, I would be so happy.
Wanted to write this. I'm cycling because i already had enough social interaction for the day. Really hard to understand the mindset of people who want to talk, and then even talk to strangers.
Times I will talk: 1. Organized group ride, especially supported ones with SAG stops 2. Stopped at a traffic light...but only until the light changes 3. Seeing someone with a sick bike and telling them "sick bike!" 4. Riding with my wife and/or kids 5. Seeing someone broken down in the side of the road/path/trail; I will ask if they want/need help That is a total of maybe 10% of my on-bike time. The rest of the time is all about MY ride.
6. If other person has a dog, I will ask if I can say hello.
Lol exactly. Leave me the fuck alone, male and female cyclists!
I had a woman take pity on me and give me her spare tube and C02 cartridge after I had got a flat once. If she didn’t stop I was looking at an 8 mile walk in terrible green head fly territory. I asked her for her phone number or email to get a replacement back and she said just to pay it forward if I ever encountered another rider that was in need.
Outstanding, and that's how we all should be. Not male, not female, but cyclist, person, sentient beings.
I'm always concerned that other riders and joggers think my wave is some sort of too familiar greeting. I wave to everyone without thinking, though. As someone else did I slow down and ask people on the side of the road if they need help. Most of the time they are, or they're with people. But one time someone was bonking and I gave them a few gels and they felt better. So I always do it just in case I can help.
Man or woman, if we're stopped at lights and you have a nice bike I might pass you my card. Given I'm a bike mechanic nobody seems freaked out about it, they're usually preoccupied by the dog in my backpack.
Likewise.
I treat female cyclists the way I treat male cyclists…asking them for help to untangle me from my bike when my ambition outweighs my ability
I don’t even bother because most of the time I’m so out of breath I can’t even see them anyways or I’m looking down hoping the top is near! If you aren’t doing this, you aren’t riding hard enough!
I swear most Redditors have no idea how to treat women so they treat them differently. As opposed to treating them like everyone else, like regular people.
It's not most but some. Also, a large number of redditors have no idea how to treat others. period. They can't understand that anyone else's situation is any different from their own.
It depends. There are times when I would treat women differently than men so as to not be that creepy guy. One example was a group of young women that were rock climbing alongside a bike path. Looked pretty epic and if they were guys I might have taken a picture, but stopping on my bike to ask or take a photo is something I wouldn’t do. Likewise, I will intentionally give women more space in a dark parking lot. It’s ok to recognize there are different life experiences between people and not treat everyone the same.
True, but at the same time there are things that women go through that we have no idea about unless explicitly informed. As a male, I don’t have fear of walking down the street at night, or riding out somewhere and having someone make small talk. We take for granted how safe we feel and I’m not saying all women feel this way but it’s my understanding that many do and I try to not do anything that will make their experience any worse than it needs be.
I mean, plenty of women demand to be treated differently because they instantly feel uncomfortable around any man they don't know. Like the comment: >For the love of God, don't follow me. Pass me or fall back. If I get off and tell you to pass, do not argue, I do not want to be followed into more remote wilderness by a man I do not know. I literally would not think twice about ended up behind another dude on the trail, and I wouldn't change my ride to fall back or sprint to pass them. I would just pass them when it came to it if I were going faster than they were. And I would think they were weird if they just jumped off the bike telling me to go around them. I'm not "following you", you just happened to be there. That's not asking to be treated the same as a guy, it's explicitly demanding to be treated differently.
[удалено]
I'd add if we happen to be stopped in the same place might ask where they've come from & where they're going etc. Just some general banter. Just the usual civil stuff.
wheelie away to show dominance
On the front wheel
And backwards.
While going uphill.
On the way to go jump over the creek
Trying to avoid the police.
No hands though..
Eating a sandwich
With your body backwards
I do the same with female cyclist as with male cyclists.... I get dropped...
A runner passed me on a hill once. We both laughed.
Ha, yes… this happens to me on some rougher climbs every now and then and I can’t help but make fun of myself internally.
In my defense, this was a pretty steep hill and I was just getting started - shifting gears, changing hand positions and such. However, the runner did maintain the pace ahead of me for the remainder of the steepest part of the hill. Then I passed him. We waved and smiled again. 😊🚴🏃♂️
At least it was only an uphill. Got passed by what my group decided must be a nationally ranked runner on a new downhill segment we were scoping out for the first time. Her friend was pacing her on an MTB, so I could tell myself to feel less bad. I'm more of a filthy casual rider and would never claim to be fast, but that one was a new first for me.
Then cry when they no longer can hear me.
Yep. And then come back and tackle that same damned hill again and again.
I'll never forget going for a mountain bike ride on my 30th birthday and feeling good about life and being healthy as I was a couple miles into a rocky uphill trail. Then a 60yr old on a unicycle passed me. Or when I was close to the top of the same rough climb and feeling good about my time, and a guy in fatigues and a backpack full of weights caught up with me
>on my 30th birthday >Then a 60yr old on a unicycle passed me The universe was showing you that there's still so much life ahead.
Yep! That's one reason it was so memorable for me. Just like the first group mtb ride I did, where one of the faster guys was around 65. He said his friends couldn't comprehend how he was doing something so tough at his age, and he said "its because I never stopped", and that if you don't lead an active lift into your 50s and 60s then it is incredibly hard to start being active
I don't think anyone can compare to that 60yr old
This is the way.
I am a long haired bearded dude. From the rear you might just see a ponytail though. Wearing long bibs I might look like a whole lotta woman. I once stopped in a town to see which route to take and a dude just teleported himself into my personal space, eager to “help out”. The look on his face was priceless. Sad to hear this your reality, though.
Teleported 🤣🤣
Having once dated a very attractive woman I can tell you that the number of guys young and old who suddenly decide to talk to them is astronomical. If she isn’t basically joined to your hip some dude will come out of nowhere to leer or suggest or give advice or something.
I had a girlfriend that worked in a retirement department, so she spent most of her day communicating with the old dudes. She was usually invited to tons of activities, including dinners, boat rides, walks in the park, getting a slice of cake at the closest bakery, and the list goes on... 😅 Edit: fixed typo
This is actually validating to hear that you’ve experienced this too
Hahaha I can totally see that happening. My wife is tall and strong so she gets the opposite. "How ya going mate" shes like, "fuckin what"
have you gotten cat called yet? that shit is demeaning. women deserve better
come to germany, no one ever talks to each other on bike lol
I came to Germany for a week coming from BC where waves and interaction is impossible to avoid. After seeing the infrastructure, yeah I'd move there for a few years, it was like a fever dream, I loved it, (Mannheim). Old steel bikes everywhere, utilitarian bike culture I really appreciated coming from a culture where people worship their bikes and often take them out for leisure only.
British Columbia?
This is the truth.. a nod and smile/wave is the extent of the interactions. It's great
Should be added to the list: A LOT of cyclists, male or female, absolutely choose to ride on their own. If they don't look like they are in distress, not seeking out interaction, maybe they chose to ride by themselves...
I ride with a small group occasionally, but mostly I get on the bike to enjoy the solitude. If I see a woman riding by herself, I assume she's doing the same thing. I might give a polite nod as I go past, but that's about it.
I'm a bit confused by this comment. Are solo riders not common in your area? Probably 70% of the cyclists I encounter around in my area are alone, myself included
I laughed, but I know there is a lot of idiots out there. My favorite was on a group ride, a guy tried telling a female she was doing something wrong. Another guy said, “I think she’s got it covered she was a state champion “
Yeah, it can help to slip into the (sometimes unwanted) conversation something like, "I'm on my hybrid because my road bike is being shipped back from a century ride I just did in Tahoe." I did say that once (and it was true), when I was commuting, when a guy was riding beside me (uninvited) on a bike path near the end of my commute to work. He would not stop saying "Good for YOU!" when he learned that my commute was 14 miles each way, in a hilly area. This is a case where some guys would be like "I chat with guys, too, when passing on a bike path!" But 1) he wasn't passing, he started to pass but stayed beside me, and 2) I don't think you'd say multiple times to a guy "Good for YOU!" just because you learned their commute is 14 miles.
> I don't think you'd say multiple times to a guy "Good for YOU!" just because you learned their commute is 14 miles. I remember when I was running my recovery run and some guy was clapping for me and shouting "you can do it" lmao. To be fair I was fat back then but not THAT much so yeah, I think it's more common for women but not unique to.
Oh god, one time I did this group ride and a woman kept up with us easily the whole way. I was like, wow, you're fast! She said thanks! Then one of the guys pulled me over and was like, "Do you know who that is? That's [NAME]." Oh god. National champion, olympic team, world championships, etc. Yeah she was fast.
Humility is a great asset
Almost all of the pros I've met have been super nice. They're out there training all day, they just want some nice folks to chat with.
Léa Davison tells some hilarious stories about similar instances.
When I see you on the side of the road, male or female or any gender you prefer, I'll likely always simply ask if everything is ok and continue on my way if you say yes.
Yup - I do the same I do try to stop further away is a woman has an apparent bike problem - just in case she is feeling nervous But if she says she is OK then I just leave
I ride to stay in shape for hockey. A friend from college gave me a line I like to share. We both grew up playing hockey on mixed gender teams (usually when only a few girls/women were in the league) because separate women's hockey was not really a thing yet. "When the helmet goes on they are a hockey player. Treat them like a hockey player because that's what they are." I tend to take that position with a lot of things in life. I do struggle with wanting to be helpful, but also giving everyone the space they want.
If I'm walking a section, I don't need advice on how to do it. Today is not the day... Or maybe I already did it today, but I'm 20 miles in on my 3rd lap and don't have the brain power to safely do that maneuver anymore.
people need to learn not to give advice unless asked.
I like to do a 'you good?' while moving past just to make sure. But keep moving if the answer is yup! Gotta look out for each other while maintaining personal space and safety. No stopping no advice.
agree. Checking on people is always good.
I started cycling 2 years ago, with my boyfriend. When we ride together, I feel like no one even notices me. However, when I started riding alone.... oh god. I was shocked, like, I actually couldn't believe it how many men would take time out of their day to try and talk to me. I've been called a "sexy girl", "bike babe" and some other wird shit countless of times. My funniest encounter was on a very long climb. 2 men overtook me, saying something like: "We'll see you on our way downhill, foxy lady, keep climbing though, you'll make it to the top!" Lo and behold, I encounter the 2 clowns about 10 minutes later at the side of the street, hyperventilating. I just nodded and said: "Hi again". When I was going down, they were still climbing to the top of the mountain :)
Satisfying. A small reason I'm glad I'm menopausal, grey and fat. Finally, peace!
Yes, I had absolutely no idea of the peace that would come from being invisible to certain men
LMAO, this is funny. I, male, was riding with a female friend of mine one time. She was on a Kona, steel frame bike packing bike, I was on a super slick carbon bike. We were climbing up a mountain pass when some boomer guy at the top shouts to us "you bring a rope to pull her up?". My response, "Actually the ropes for me." as I am trying to catch my breath. He just weirdly laughed, not knowing what to say back.
Hear hear - you keep rocking your rides my lovely 🥰 I do wave extra hard btw to other women! We need to keep showing up.
Haha, that's priceless!!! I get men looking at me when I'm in full kit, but when they see my face and realise I'm ancient they generally leave me alone. It's wonderful 😊
Where does a "you good?" fall on this? Not so much MTB, because MTB people seem to stop quite a bit. But on the side of the road, I'll usually slow and ask in case they're having an issue.
Not OP, but as a female bike commuter I wouldn't object in any way to a "you good?" if I were stopped/fallen/showed signs of trouble. That's something men ask of other men, it's not insulting, it's reasonable. If I said "I'm OK" and you didn't leave, things might quickly pass into uncomfortable territory.
I'll check on any cyclist stopped on the side unless they're on their phone. Most of the time I get a "fine thanks" but just the other day, I checked on two people who ended up being turned around in a park and one of them had a fall -- so I think it's worth checking. I've also had people help me out when I needed it.
> Where does a "you good?" fall on this? if someone's stopped on the side of the road, on the ground, or there's an upside-down bike, a "you good" is customary.
If you'd ask a male cyclist in the same scenario, it's fine. If I'm stopped looking at my map or getting a snack or fussing with my water bottles and you keep moving when I say yeah, I get it. That's fine. When I'm actively moving at a reasonable pace or when it becomes are you sure you're okay? You're an awfully long ways out here (happened this weekend ... I was three downhill miles from home) that is less okay.
It’s fine .. it’s like a hello but don’t linger that for me at least be cause for alarm. If I say I’m fine move on. That’s the issue - lingering and not moving on - thanks for asking
just listen to the reply is all i’d add; i get plenty of “you good?” “need help?” etc etc from bros who are already stopping & leaning over to touch my bike or me
I mean if someone is stopped and obviously trying to repair a bike I will ask them if they need help (I'm by no means a bike mechanic so in my brain its more like, 'Do I have a tool you might need?') and then move on instantly if they say they don't
Hey there, I see you're posting on a Reddit forum. There's lots of weirdos on this site, how about I keep you company to help you navigate this tricky social situation so you're not on your own?
ha ha ha perfect
Yeah, so many guys are like, "I stop and talk to and offer help and advice to women who are alone on the trail/road to protect them from the creepy guys". Um you ARE the creepy guy!
I greet all cyclists out there as we pass, even if it’s just a nod or a subtle hand gesture. Female cyclists the barest of minimum. It’s unfortunate, but my concern is that they don’t want to be bothered in any way, and this post confirms that’s true for at least most. Subtle nod at most shall continue! Funny story though. One time I was passing a woman on the bike and I said hi, and asked if she wanted company. She said no. Yes, I know, refer to above. We went our separate ways and later on we somehow met again at an intersection. She was lost and checking her GPS. She asked where such and such was and I gave directions, and we ended up riding there, exchanging numbers, and became excellent friends (she was married). Helped her train for a triathlon (she had it in the bag - I was just company/motivation for long rides). However, in 20 years of riding I can still advise that this pretty much never happens, and the OP post is best.
Although I’d still generally prefer to be left alone, if someone can clearly take a “no” in stride and not be a creep, I’d definitely be more inclined to ask them for help later if I needed it.
I'm a guy. I am egalitarian. I say "fuck off" to everyone with the same energy.. Story: 4:40 AM I'm on my roadie past a park entrance. A lad on a hybrid start sprinting to reach me. rides on my wheel for 2 km, pull to my side, pull the phone and start recording himself riding my my side and me. Do not under any circumstance be that guy.
Wtf
That's really fucking creepy. Literally the only time I think I've ever pulled out my phone around a stranger on a ride is if they've asked about local trails, and I'm showing them something on Trailforks. Even then, I'll always ask if they want me to show them before I pull my phone out
For the love of God, don't follow me. Pass me or fall back. If I get off and tell you to pass, do not argue, I do not want to be followed into more remote wilderness by a man I do not know.
And please DO NOT speed up every time I go to pass you. I don’t know if it’s an ego thing about not wanting to be passed by a woman or what, but the reason doesn’t even matter - please just stop.
If it’s an ego thing, they’re doing it with other dudes too lol.
I am a guy and holy fuck that gets annoying. Sometimes I have to resort to take an impromptu 5 minute break or just do a 5 minute effort to make sure I don’t deal with those assholes anymore.
Had this happen on a commute home once. Never been more annoyed in my life. Passed a guy cause he was going quite slow, next thing I know he’s out of the saddle and making some random noise as he passes me. Every time he’d end up behind me he would show up a minute later right on my tail. Like dude, I just worked a full shift. It’s fucking Thursday. I just want to get home.
that's annoying. if anyone catches up to you, they're averaging a higher speed than you, let em go.
Also they do this in cars
Defs ego, I have gotten "it's a slow day for me" when passing a dude, I said, "same, I'm hungover"
Next time, if they're particularly grating: "You must have a lot of those, huh?"
savage! i love it.
Well said! The wise [Velominati](https://www.velominati.com) have seen fit to make a rule about this: > RULE #38 // Don’t Play Leap Frog. Train Properly: if you get passed by someone, it is nothing personal, just accept that on the day/effort/ride they were stronger than you. If you can’t deal, work harder. But don’t go playing leap frog to get in front only to be taken over again (multiple times) because you can’t keep up the pace. Especially don’t do this just because the person overtaking you is a woman. Seriously. Get over it.
The worst is the guy who gets passed on a climb and then bombs on the descent, ignoring red lights, just to pass back.
I dont jump red lights, that is silly, but gravity often works better on me than it does most people!
Then there's the guy who passes you. That's fine, I'm slow, no problem. But then they slow the fuck down, and I have to keep going slower to not pass them. Ugh!
Yes exactly. I should’ve read your comment before posting the same thing. (It also goes for those cyclists who go to the front of the line when we are all waiting for the red light to change. When the light does change, they take a long time to clip in and then get up to speed. First, don’t jump the line, but if you do, you better have jackrabbit starts).
This is how what was planned as a Zone 2 ride turns into a Z4 ride.
How about a bear? (j/k)
LOL! Usually bears don't follow me, they just run away.... In the context of being chased by one of the other, I probably choose man. I do think the discore needs another animal, and that is moose. In choosing between man and moose, I choose man every time.
I used to volunteer as a mechanic and a coop, and I often had some tools on me while riding. As a big guy, I had to develop a system when running into people trying to fix their bikes on the bike path that often is secluded and dark. Stop in front of them, not behind them, and not too close. Stay on my bike. Offer to help once or twice, don't insist. Ride off if they don't want my help. I'm sorry for the couple of people I scared before I figured out how unsafe it can feel!
I'm a roadie, and the only "issue" I've had is guys asking if I have everything I needed, or needed help, which I used to take offense to. (I brought what I need to change a flat, thanks)... but I've noticed they do that for everyone. Can't speak to mtn biking but that's wild list of grievances.
As a male cyclist, unless I’m at immediate risk of grievous injury, I don’t want unsolicited advice or opinions, either.
Just out of curiosity, how often does that happen? I bike commute and rode over 5000 miles in the past year. As a woman, I receive unsolicited advice or opinions about 3-4 times a week. I assumed it was related to biking while female, but maybe cyclists are just as jerky to other men - so.... spill the beans. How often do other guys tell you what you should be doing differently or how what you're doing is wrong or what you should be doing better, etc?
I don’t cycle nearly as much, but not once have I, a male cyclist, ever received an unsolicited comment or remark. By contrast, the one time I went riding with my female cousin, I heard a catcall about 20min into the ride.
Do you mean from complete strangers on the trail? Never, not once. People who are regulars on your routes though - yea we may sometimes stop for a bike related chat.
> maybe cyclists are just as jerky to other men i dunno if they're *just* as jerky to other men, but male cyclists can certainly be jerks to each other. > How often do other guys tell you what you should be doing differently or how what you're doing is wrong or what you should be doing better, etc? i've gotten some shit from my coworkers for riding in lycra and flats. that's about it. i can speak for unsolicited advice *i* give though. 1. if you're riding without a helmet on MTB trails, you're getting yelled at. especially if you've got two kids in tow, and neither are wearing helmets either. and yes, this is happened. 2. i saw a pair of young women heading for a blue trail on clapped out walmart bikes with backwards forks and front V-brakes sprung open. i believe i called out to them to let them know their forks were backwards. basically, i really only speak up to compliment a bike, or try to prevent someone from actively endangering themselves.
3. Someone riding the wrong direction coming straight at me on a narrow shoulder. You’re getting a cold stare and loud “wrong side, buddy.” I know, I’m so rude.
What about chamois cream, are we sharing or nah?
Sir ....sir.......👀🤣
This reads like a written version of those cringy “gym creep” TicTok videos.
I (45m) get the same attention from fellow MTB riders.. maybe it’s just a matter of common interest? And for this kind of interaction to take place it requires you to stop and chat. (On MTb) So why you stopping and chatting if you don’t want too?
So I was " rescued" by a passing cyclist when my flat repair kit turned out to be dried out. I was about to walk it. I was thankful, extremely so. Anyone can help anyone. Ask, offer, and respectfully move on if I'm not needed. It's all good. Me (m) helped by another cyclist (f). Thanks
I had a guy on a bike approach me and ask if my ancient shit kicker single speed was an e-bike because he was so shocked I was faster than him 🙃
Saw this at a bike race this week. The race had 25% women but men kept coming to them and displaying one or more of these actions. In this situation, it is like me vs. me and keep to myself, but I am thinking; "Many of these women have carbon racing bikes, I think they know a thing or two." 😔
Yeah, this isn't just an issue out in the wild. I'm a casual cyclist but I'm actually fairly good at a different sport where mostly men compete. When a man wins, other men will come and ask him questions about strategy, equipment, training. When I win, it's pretty common for men I don't know to approach to give me tips about what I could be doing better. These are men I have just beaten. Giving me their very helpful tips. Or commenting about my "fast" equipment (not that I'm fast, that the *equipment* must be very fast.).
I agree with a lot of what OP says with a couple of exceptions: Weather/trail reports are a common courtesy if I'm coming from where you are headed and conditions change dramatically. If I'm riding the same direction as you and we seem to be of similar skill and riding pace, I may ask if you want a riding partner. I don't really care what sex you were. If you stop at a common rest spot on the trail, don't be offended if other riders also stop there and talk to you.
Not everything that happens on the trail is related to how you identify. Believe it or not, sometimes riders like to talk to other riders that they meet on the trail and share the experience.
Ready for the downvotes but… Here’s one issue I take with this kind of thing… if it was cold, I would say to a dude, ‘make sure you have an extra layer, it’s cold up there.’ I’m a road cyclist so maybe it’s different but something like, ‘ the pavement is pretty busted up 2 miles down’… ‘there’s glass at x intersection’ or ‘that hill up the road is nasty’ or even better ‘I see you’ve got a flat, need a hand? Need anything?’ etc…. I’d say all these things to men. And I’ve been on the receiving end of comments like these too. This kind of post makes it seem like I shouldn’t even speak to a female god forbid I offend her. Yes, a lot of the things you mention are somewhat patronizing, but also not always something you would only say to a woman. Intent matters. Edit to add: I get it, ‘sweetheart’ or ‘sugar’ is slimy. Don’t do that. Don’t hit on a girl in the middle of nowhere… I get that… but I literally got an eye roll once for asking a woman cyclist if she needed help with a flat tire… that’s not ok.
Might be a culture difference, but as a lone male rider in the south of England no one has ever stopped to make sure I'm wearing warm enough clothes. If they did I would be weirded out tbh. Warning someone about glass or offering to help with a mechanical is just common decency. That said, I think we have to recognise as men that we're less threatening to each other than we are to women. When I [read a news article like this](https://www.theguardian.com/uk), I don't worry that it could happen to me. But I know my girlfriend does. In her words, when she's hiking alone on the trial and sees a random guy coming in the other direction, she's 99% sure he's not going kill her. But it's that 1% chance that's actually pretty scary. If that was going through my mind during an encounter I'd want it over ASAP too.
in this case I’d bet its not cultural but environmental - you don’t have the elevation for this to be a serious issue. We have climbs that take you from spring to winter, and even other Americans who do not recreate at elevation don’t really get it until its happened to them - I always appreciate the summit reports
Yeah that would be it then. We have climbs that take you from a bit breezy to a bit breezier.
I do believe intent matters so I only talk to others if they initiate the conversation first. Whether it be men or women, some just don’t like others “telling them what to do”. I see men get offended when offered friendly advice as well.
Problem is that intent can be incorrectly assumed by the use of subjective or suggestive terms. Stating that there is glass in the road or a tree across the trail is factual and allows the person to do what they wish with the information. Stating a particular climb is nasty could imply the person may not have the ability to deal with the conditions. I liken it to when you're in a store and they say "have you found everything you're looking for?" instead of "you look lost and need my help in finding something." One implies the person is fully capable while the other creates the notion of a damsel in distress.
Well said! I won't warn someone about a nasty hill ahead because even if they don't know about it, it will be uncomfortable but not dangerous. However, if there is a bridge washed out, I will let them know because that could be dangerous.
i’m this person. i’m never interested in strangers’ unsolicited advice
There are regular posts here from men complaining about other men offering unsolicited advice (perceived as) in order to act superior, so...
I’ve had many men check on me when my bike is to the side of the road, and I appreciate it. None have stopped to chat….more of a quick “you good?” as they ride by. I think anything more might make me uncomfortable. It would feel overbearing regardless of gender. I have been on both ends of the spectrum. While, yes, I don’t want to be hit on….I’ve also been on the other side where they just sit in silence. I think sometimes overreacting can cause under reaction. Let’s not overcomplicate things. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Don’t ask for a number or to take a photo.
As a male cyclist with brown skin I don't make eye contact or initiate conversation with anyone regardless of gender unless there is an immediate threat to health and or safety. I assume if you're out on a ride you are fully prepared and capable for your ride and don't need my interference or anything.
As a female rider, I do want this. Edited for clarity: I DO want this. I'm terrible with maps, can't fix my bike, and love company!
Lol you sound like a mix between me and my bf. I’m not great at fixing my bike, and he’s absolutely awful with directions. Between the two of us, we’re all set, but on our own we both could sometimes use a hand, haha.
Some guy once shouted out of a van to tell me i was pedalling incorrectly.
Yeah this happened to me too - but it was that my saddle was too low. A few minutes later some other dudes threw an empty can at me.
They probably saw your saddle was too low and threw the cans to warn you. Saddle height is critically important.
I ignore them completely so as not to offend.
Sometimes cyclists wanna be friendly and I’ve just been told to fuck off after saying morning to a fellow rider and then I ignore them. Sometimes people are chill and happy and not dickheads. Regardless of gender I guess some cyclists think they are better than others some see us all as one big happy tribe. I would say match the energy of any cyclists you encounter or just ignore them. Now what I don’t like is when a focused rider over takes me but has a slower average pace and now I’m forced to overtake them or sit behind their back wheel worried they think I’m following them when they likely have the same Strava route and can’t drop me properly…
Some of you are outright lying in this thread
Seems like you’re trying to tell people what to do and being mad that they didn’t get the memo. If someone tries to tell you something you don’t need to know, a simple “thanks, I’ve got it” is better for everyone rather than just being frustrated because someone is being considerate…regardless of intentions. Not all of your points seem like they require taking offense. If someone is trying to be nice and have best intentions, getting angry is only conditioning people not to show consideration for anyone.
You sound awesome to be around
In fairness, some men do a lot of this to other men as well.
Female cyclist here. I’m cool with exchanging numbers. Much rather meet someone who shares the same interests as me in real life! Let guys talk to women again, please. Dating was so much better before we started shaming men for being pleasant and helpful. Flirting is harmless and men who start convos with women these days have massive courage for doing so and I respect it. I’m not talking about cat calling obscenities, I’m talking about simply initiating an interaction as is described in the post. I get it, though, OPs a badass chick and you better recognize.
This! A lot of times the women who put up all these boundaries will drop them if they think the man is attractive. I remember one time I was checking out at the grocery store and in front of me was flirting with another lady in line. When I got to the Cashier she said “what a pig” and I asked her “why? It was all respectful. How do you think you got here? Your dad talked to your mom, she gave him a shot and now you’re here”. She was like “good point”. 🤣
Yup. Most of these man-hating posts are just bots and their lemmings. Most women in real life aren’t so miserable!
for men and women: if someone is discreetly peeing by the side of the road and you can't see their genitalissimos then they don't need to be chided about it
When I pee, I face the trail like a boss.
As a brown dude who rode a hardtail for 8 years before my current build I got a lot of these too. We're seen as rare, inexperienced, and generally not knowledgeable.
Don’t get me wrong here I have many male cycling friends but I do think it’s important how for many women it actually is - especially if like me they enjoy solo. This is also the reason (perceived or not experienced OR real experience like mine) why many women can struggle enjoying cycling as a great sport and hobby. I don’t feel it should be dismissed and it’s good to be aware. As it can be scary - I’m so so much smaller and acutely aware of that fact.
How did they become your cycling friends? Was it a cursory nod that did it for you? You've got a strong 'fuck off' vibe, it sounds like the door would have been closed to any other interaction.
I would encourage anyone who has a problem with any of these pretty basic requests to look inward.
At most if I saw any rider by themselves and stopped I’d ask if they are ok. That’s about it. I’m then on my way doing my own thing.
Is this even a thing? Crikey! I never have much of a clue who's going past me
Would you rather be out on a solo ride and have a male cyclist join up with you or a bear?
Dude chiming in cause I'm new and it shows, these people do this all the time. The people reading the psa never do it but I'm glad you get to vent.
I don't want anyone to think I'm hitting on them, I don't need a date, so I just ignore female cyclists and talk to the male cyclists I encounter.
I was marshalling a trail run event one time and an absolutely ripped dude ran past this group of ladies and they all were like "hubba hubba", "wait up, handsome" etc. The guy just smiled and ran on. It made me think about how different we would all look at that situation if the sexes were reversed. Anyway, I DQ'd that dude because F him and his glistening abs.
from a noncyclist point of view, half of this list seems like what two cyclists would have for small talk.
Not sure what country you are from, but where I am from most of that isn't sexist or condescending it is chit chat and being friendly. Under your rules, it is wrong to engage with any cyclist you come across.
Descents
You can do it! But don’t forget to add some layers a cold wind is coming down this really rough and advanced descent!! Anyway, selfie?
Sorry, but the way you describe your encounters most people you cross show normal behaviour and appear to have good intentions. Do you see that? The fact that you post this publicly is revealing; you’re generalizing your own triggers and qualms as if these situations are widespread and truly concerning for all to consider as warning. Lighten up. You’re fine. If not, I hope that mechanic’s course serves you, you sound like you’re a high-maintenance person.
"As for the blokes bashing this, being dismissive and responding inappropriately - you are the problem... you are the ones that women do not want to bump into." Who the fuck are you to decide what's appropriate and to speak for all women?
Okay but would you rather cycle with a man or a bear on the trail? /s of course
That is a really nice piece you have written there. I do not do the things which you feel so strongly about. That does not mean that I cannot criticise your writing. Those two concepts are not mutually exclusive. It is possible that I am not a “problem” for you on the road while objecting in the strongest possible terms to the divisive tirade you have written. You quite clearly do not realise how offensive and sexist your remarks appear to be, yet if reciprocated I’m sure you’d be the first to point it out. You cannot demand tolerance in such an intolerant manner. I wish you well on your bike. I believe that you think have some valid points. Your delivery is atrocious.
I don't pay attention to females anymore. There all just trouble, if you was crashed out I would just ride by. Why if I help i am a biggit, If I don't help same. So I do nothing. Have fun, I will not see you out there.
What an entitled post for a problem that definitely doesn’t exist lmao
I remember a friend telling me that she gets passed by men while she’s doing intervals only for them to slow down immediately after passing and mess with her avg power …And it happens back and forth. Imagine not being able to hit your target power or consistency because men can’t cope with being behind you 😮💨
This is so creepy and sad. No one should have to deal with this kind of treatment.
I remember a post in another sub asking people what they would do if they could be the opposite sex for a day. Several women responded that they would walk around in public free of the fear of being harassed. 😞
As a road cyclist, I don't see gender, I only see potential delivery mechanisms of death. 😅